Autistic, ADHD Or AuDHD? (Coaching With Brooke) 

I was diagnosed later in life a few months back with severe ADHD. I chose to try medication. Since then, the medication has slowed down my brain enough to process my childhood and also realize how much masking I have done my whole life. I am coming to the realization that I may be AuDHD. This has been an extremely helpful video for me, and I thank you both for this great information.

anime is the underdog story we all feel, can touch on adult and coming of age subjects in a less embarrassing way and is a hyper colour fantasy for sensory needs

Your podcasts are so helpful because I am a retired nurse, never diagnosed with autism or ADHD but I now see why my job was so difficult for me. I have an adult son who was recently diagnosed with autism - a straight A student all the way through his masters degree. I am pretty sure we have ADHD as well. We also have synesthesia and see music in colors and shapes. I wonder if most people with autism have synesthesia.

55:05 not to mention, that setting some of these future tasks can induce waiting mode, where the mind can not proceed with more immediate tasks because of the mental preparation. School schedules can be incredibly difficult for this reason, especially on a large campus.

So ...I'm someone who identifies as someone with ASD and ADHD (diagnosic process starting next friday) and so far, I'm feeling a little impatient with this podcast (about half way through) because you are talking about the differences and although it's been identified that 50-70 of people with ASD have ADHD, you aren't really talking about us dual NDers (yet). Hopefully you get there, because my obsession at the moment is getting insight from other AuDHDers as it's been very chaotic and lonely not understanding that this is me for so long! Plus I'm female so yeah, totally overlooked as a quiet, scared, bookish kid (before internet) who moved around a lot as well and who had weird parents (both neurodivergent) who separated when I was very young. Don't get me wrong, I love alone time and I have so many special interests and fascinations but I didn't know why I was so different and struggled so hard for most of my life and that puts one on the outer. I am anxious to see myself in what you are talking about, but so far I just feel torn in two. I wish I was more like my dad, sometimes, and could follow through on one special interest to "accomplish" something! He is a classic Aspie and is completing his PHD in his 70's, but I can't stick on anything much to get to the point where I can specialise in something, but maybe I can learn enough about this dual neuro phenotype that it can be my specialisation. I haven't learnt how to be included in society, in any long term meaningful way, other than I had a large family who have me as their mother and motherhood has been HARD and very taxing. I believe my guy friend is the same phenotype and he is a removalist now, and used to be in IT. We are both brainiacs who really don't have other friends or a social life outside our kids. I used to be a performance artist (singer/songwriter/ dancer) who was in bands first and then choir and I'm really good at improv music coz I got bored with the same set of songs but I have no one to jam with now because I'm socially anxious and it's very overstimulating to do that stuff. I never learnt the techy stuff to do my own thing musically and, well, having 7 kids and then two stepson on top, just took up too much energy. I have a cognitively impaired high needs autistic son and a "gifted" Aspie same-phenotype-as-me son. My Aspie super smart son is turning 18 on tuesday and is moving to a major city interstate soon, (we are Australian) so I'm finally going to be able to focus on myself more. He's actually great to have in my life because although he's struggled enormously and being really intelligent and cerebral, he masks well and that can be isolating and one can feel really invisible, but I get him so much and we both benefit from that! And he's developed a lot of emotional intelligence as well as being a very bright young man as a result of hyperfocusing on learning about human psychology and being very dysregulated and lonely a lot of the time and working really hard on his social skills. He still talks to me more than most people because we get each other and we can talk about our shared special interests and neither of us have many people to talk to, about a lot of things. He is going into music as a vocation as well, but the difference is he is very highly skilled with computers and is going to go to a sound engineer school. So hopefully we can do some musical projects together some day. We need loads of down time or we get horribly burnt out and exhausted in the head. We, my guy friend, and youngest son and I, have had social difficulties with each other at times because we all info dump (A LOT) we can all interrupt each other and get really overwhelmed and dysregulated, at times. So my son moved into youth housing earlier this year.

I have ADHD, and I recently have been exploring the idea that I might be autistic. ADHDer doesn’t really roll off the tongue for me, so I usually just say “I have ADHD.” I also am a middle school teacher, and I do have a thought about the “individual first” language. I think I personally when talking about my kids would say “student with autism.” Only because I feel that it should be a persons choice. Given that they are kids, and having that conversation with them doesn’t feel appropriate to me (or maybe it’s fine IDK. I’m open to other opinions), I would prefer to identify them as an individual first.

I hear all the time "You seem so normal and like you have everything together." While I was doing extensive therapy and in an out of the the ER and doctors like I paid rent there.

I am sure I have Autism and ADHD(AudhD). Usually, not all the time, but most of the time, my anxiety is more held in like Autism and masking, and my anger is usually more outward and slightly if not more explosive. I have a harder time holding in my anger, sometimes is is more triggered by something to do with Autism and communication and other times more triggered like more little things like ADHD. But it is hard to seperate them, because most of my stuff all works together inside me. Sometimes it can be funny and sometimes it is really terrible. Usually it is hard to deal with. What I am trying to learn, is maybe laugh some things off, and maybe not being so hard on myself. Transitions are always hard, with both, no matter what. Preparation is key for both also. I really liked the way you both did this conversation.

I am an AuDHDer and I think you hit on something with the 'monofocus' autism versus the 'side quest' auDHD. I'll be resentful that my hyperfocus has been broken but I can't ignore a whatsapp or a call for my attention away from what i'm doing, but the resentment is real😁

45 y/o late diagnosis. Live in the present (simple not easy), adopt a consistent effective meditation practice, eat properly, get sleep, and process your emotions... (Not simple, not easy) physiologically releasing emotional blockages allows us to have more space to deal with the world. Being present does miracles for transitions and working memory Proper meditation is amazing, but it takes dedication. Make it your special interest. Feeling into ourselves is hard, feeling others is too easy. So who's feeling what? I was happy two seconds ago, now I'm pissed off... Look for the person masking their own emotions. I have to go and be by myself to check in and tune into my feelings to know for sure how i feel. Rules were made as a framework for society to follow that keeps children of the neurotypicals safe from themselves.

Having a game on in the background, while going to sleep, helps keep your mind from wandering, and finding something that you end up ruminating on. I don't have the option of playing videos while going to sleep, I find counting a string of numbers can stand in for the game in the background. Simply counting 1-2-3-4 doesn't occupy the brain enough and I still end up ruminating. The trick is to find a balance between 1-2-3-4, and the Fibonacci sequence, that allows you to fall asleep, while still locking the brain down, and not allowing it to ruminate (ruin-the-night ;-) ( I'm a Dyslexic AuDHD )

Flat effect (39:26) A Completely blank look on the outside; when the mask is becoming completely work hardened, & is ready to shatter. I was diagnosed Dyslexic & ADD in 1985, the ASD was diagnosed just a few weeks ago. I prefer Dyslexic AuDHD person, ( I may have other conditions throughout my life however the Dyslexia, ASD & ADHD are more hardware than software )

I enjoy your content, it's nice hearing so many different points of view

I found this discussion very interesting and helpful! Thank you both! New sub here! 💖 Thank you for the time! 💙

Brilliant interview, thank you

You are both amazing to me. Very compassionate.

Thank you Thomas! 💙

What a fantastic and really interesting discussion. Thank you

At about an hour, my daughter and I have ADHD and Autism(ASD1), but in public, if we have to, we tend to claim the ADHD more..... I dont know why, but jt does just seem easier. Even if we identify as both or even more with the autism, even like at the time. I think the ADHD is more likely to be accepted better..... Wish there was absolutely bo stigma of anything rhough.

Extremely useful discussion. Over and above categorical discussion about definitions and differences (content), the conversation actually enacted and demonstrated the living experience of it (style). As a learning experience this was very special and unusually enlightening. I very much admired the enormous capacity for communication both participations demonstrated and I felt, in addition to "natural flair", this may well betoken a great deal of what's called "work on self" which probably doesn't really do total justice to the quality and capacity of the creativity needed for this top level of fluency. The discussion about labels and stigma was something I found of specific interest. This tricky area may involve issues and snags associated with "labels as signifiers" but in a subtle or unconscious way. Regardless of whether 'person comes before diagnosis' or 'diagnosis comes before person', any form of verbal label or signification may well have an additional function which, unfortunately, can be problemmatic. If Ms A is associated with autism (however it is described) this statement will also imply that everyone else doesn't have it. This additional capacity of labels is largely about their function as signifiers of "difference". Only Ms A has autism, therefore, by definition, 'we' (everyone else) don't have it! Unfortunately, this often unintended dialectic appears to be deeply associated with stigma. I don't know what the answer to this may be. Perhaps an approach to solving it would involve use of language that might indicate that what all people share and have in common is more significant than their differences. However, there may also be a conflicting need to balance this perceived problem with the notion that if people in general knew more about the themes in question eg what these conditions actually are, any need for what might seem like a hyperfocus specifically on language may well be ameliorated. Conversations such as this one are a superb way of "bridging gaps" and showing that what we all have in common is far more important than our apparent differences. Congratulations to you both and thank you.

1:17:10 Something like - watching neurotypicals is like watching a nature documentary - was said. I first had to laugh but then thought better of it. So may I ask: What about these dramas seems so different from your own experiences? I am an ADHDer and am genuinely interested. Thanks in advance.

The ASD1,2,3 drives me crazy, but I think that is the best ways to say it thus far.....

Talking of confusion over different words used in the UK & US, it seams that there was a lot of confusion in the US (especially in the bible belt), about the “Black Dyke Band”, especially in their US tour. N.B. The Black Dyke Band is a world famous UK brass band. The band was formerly the brass band of the Black Dyke Mills in Queensbury, Bradford, West Yorkshire. But you can no doubt imagine what some Americans thought the name black dyke meant, and who was going to appear on their local stage! It’s not just double empathy where problems occur in communication!

I'm 50 years old, I was recently diagnosed with ADHD combined, I'm not on medication, but I also have the symptoms of Autism, Dyscalculia, Auditory Processing Disorder, Avoidant Personality Disorder & Dyspraxia too.

"Autistic Inertia".....I like that.

I wish there was more discussion about the difference between females with autism spectrum disorder and males with autism spectrum disorder. How females can look very different than males in the autism spectrum. I wish there was more studies in that area!

Okay😊😊

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Negative and Intrusive thoughts are part of being OCD. They're are different rypes if OCD, most Neurodivergents are OCD - most of us have reoccurant issues. I'm AuDHD 😍

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At 26:40 she starts talking about stimming and says with ADHD and that is confusing me, I wonder if she misspoke or I'm not getting it?!?

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I want a video on why people talk like this, it comes off extremely fake and and pretentious to me, does anyone else with autism feel the same? I find her voice extremely triggering as well.

hi!

HI DADDY!!!!

Does High or Low function determine one's personal accountability? ASD is a disability? If i would've thought i had a disability Im fairly certain i wouldn't have made it through highschool.

I know someone that has moderate Autism and moderate Intellectual delay.... Don't know how to say it all. Because I would never ever want to be rude to anyone for any reason.

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