AUTISTIC PEOPLE TALKING Ep. 5 PODCAST ft. Meg  

Claire!! I hope you know what a wonderful human you are. I had the loveliest evening chatting with you. Thank you for having me on!! You have no idea how much I fangirled when you asked me 😂💛

I just told my psychologist yesterday that the reason I often overshare is because I #1 just want to be understood and accepted and #2 want the other person to benefit and prosper with the information I may have discovered to be helpful. And yes it is in the pursuit of connection ❤

Please do not stop singing your intro, Claire! And I love how you both crack up in your shows.

Oh my gosh, the problem of delayed processing for someone asking me a question so it seems like I'm completely ignoring them yet being annoyed by some random noise others don't hear, and that I can't block out, has made for some frustrating situations for both those around me and myself. I feel that 😅

I stopped showering and brushing my teeth regularly when I went to university for the same reasons you describe, Meg. It's almost a decade later, and I am only now getting those things back into my regular routine. It's embarrassing. I tried many times to address the problem but couldn't find a way to incorporate regular self care UNTIL I began understanding myself better through researching autism.

Great to see Meg out and about (on someone else's channel) Having a good Yarn (Australian for a long-winded friendly conversation). Speaking of which Claire, I feel like you have missed an opportunity for your podcast name!.

Okay I’ve been looking forward to this for a while! Time for coffee and RU-vid! :)

“When I think of autism, I think of being alone and not wanting to be and not understanding why”. Ooooff. That one got me right in the feels and made me feel understood.. This was a great collaboration, I loved it! I’m in that probably rare percentage of people (particularly women) who was diagnosed early on with ADHD but the Autism diagnosis was missed (I grew up in the early 90s…). So I always thought I was weird or didn’t fit in because of that. I’m starting to understand that it wasn’t the only reason and starting to learn to separate the two. It’s a journey though for sure and both you lovely ladies help immensely. Thank you!

Wow ladies, your vulnerability, openness, and authenticity is so inspiring, empowering and wonderful; the conversation was relatable, so so funny in many moment 🤣 and relaxing...Loved it! 🥰

I stopped telling others anything that I was feeling or thinking to the point that I forgot how to communicate. It's been a hard struggle to relearn communication and sharing personal things.

"Please stop" is definitely something that I think and feel whenever I encounter content creators who sing while they talk, because it does annoy me a little, but that's a me-issue. I'm sure others love it and if it makes you happy to do it, then that is all that matters. Thanks for the video.

I'm 2 minutes in and I just gotta say that my wife's a Hugger. One of the things I remember most about meeting her for the first time was the sheer number of times she would just casually reach out and touch my arm while we were talking and how jarring it was in a way that was pleasantly surprising. It's one of the things I find to be the most wonderful about her, the woman walks around in a cloud of charisma. Nobody is safe from the Hug, but I don't think most people care because it somehow communicates her feelings towards that person. I've watched it happen and I can't help but just be in awe. Not that she would keep going if somebody told her that they don't want to be touched, but this woman's got love for (almost) everybody she meets, and they're gonna FEEL that love damnit lol.

I identified with so much of this conversation. Thanks so much to you both! 💜

Thanks to both of you!❤

Beautiful conversation, lots of helpful insights! Thanks! 💖

Thank you ladies both 💞💞👊👊 - relate 💞💞👊👊

@Clair “full gremlin” 😂 That made me laugh out loud. Great sense of humor lol.

🙅‍♂ if Clair stops singing we will boycott RU-vid! 😂 Great episode! Thanks both of you!

Hearing you youngns say late diagnosed cracks me up~~ 61 yrs old now finding I am on the spectrum ~~~\ at 33 diagnosed extreme ADHD/Dyslexia ~~ mastered Dyslexia ~~~ teeheeeeheeeee ... I just feel in my 30's would have felt "early diagnosed "..... My five children, and nine grandchildren definitely AUDHD ~~~ 2 of my adult children also mastered Dyslexia ~~~~ We as neurodivergent human beings are AMAZING ~~ trying to "fit in" is not good~~ As we were created to STAND OUT~~ WE ARE OUTSTANDING ❤

Such a lovely podcast. I resonate with both of you. As a prob autistic mum of 2 autistic girls and a waiting to be assessed ADHD son I think it is so important to be able to get my children the help that I never had at school and for them to also be able to have support from me with the view through how I got through without that help they they do receive. I think it's so important now to have content by women for women also and because Autism in women is in such early stages of recognition still. Thank you both of you for all you do, if it wasn't for your channels and a few others out there I would not have realised that the world I and my girls experience is soo different to the supposed norm, whatever that is supposed to be. (I hope this makes sense) 😊

Wow, great chat! I can so relate to falling in love fast. I remember having a crush in elementary school. I looked up his address and wrote love letters to him. 😅 Thank you both for your willingness to be vulnerable! 💞

Listening to you two share has me in tears!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are not alone~~~ You are both absolutely 💯 ❤️ 💕 adorable!

two of my very favourite Autistic creators... awesome!

you both are great. thank you

My stimming is singing too. I used to sing waking through town at the top of my voice ❤

Yay Meg ❤

This video is so amazing. I hope that @i'mautisticnowwhat and @woodshedtheory do another video together! I love both of you! And I am curating a playlist for my 12 year old niece and for family- this one will definitely be on it. Thank you for all that you do! It has helped me on my journey. And I related to so much of what the two of you discussed. I especially felt it in my heart in my personal life right now - the mention of how autistic adults feel very protective of children with autism and how it is like - well, for me correcting or saving them from the struggles and misdiagnosis and living in the dark. Because the person I am trying to help is my niece, I have to try to educate my entire family so that they can understand that her understanding herself and getting the accommodation she needs will only improve her life. I a m scared that she will suffer like I did otherwise. I do talk about this a bit in more detail why I feel this way in one of my own videos. Just, please be kind if you watch it because I am new at making these videos and it is part of my healing and understanding and being part of the community. Love you both for what you do!

This is so relatable! 49:00 Yep, every day. 51:00 Happened to me when I recently disclosed to a colleague who said I can't be autistic because I don't have any of the physical/bodily signs---say what? 1:09:48 That pretty much sums it up, and decades later it hasn't gotten any better.

I totally feel the same looking back at me as a young child - how did they miss it! Why didn't they see that I am autistic! 😢

I have my assessment appointment with a neurological psychologist on May 2nd. If people understood how painful it is to go back and rethink literally decades of your life they wouldn't possibly think you were doing this to be trendy, particularly since autistic people aren't exactly trend setters. For about a year now I have been thinking back on the contents of my life and trying to find reasons that I am not autistic. Every step of the way I get further confirmation that I am on the spectrum. From flunking the Theory of Mind test to understanding my existence through stims and special interests, it all adds up to autism. When Claire talked about how diligently her mom worked with her to gain simple writing skills so she wouldn't be held back it reminded me of the things my mom did. In Kindergarten they wouldn't put me into 1st grade without learning to tie my shoe. In 1st grade they wouldn't advance me unless I learned the purpose of a Venn diagram. In third grade my teacher told my parents I was retarded and they wouldn't advance me to 4th grade unless I could learn to tell time on a clock, I still struggle with clocks that do not have numbers on them. I couldn't use a keyed lock until I was in my 20s. But get this, I actually went to grad school in a heavily academic and theoretical discipline and I had a 3.96 GPA. I don't know how to explain these things without an autism diagnosis.

I actually burst out crying when you said about just going with the first person that says they like you... That ended up being my first real long term relationship, and I was not a good girlfriend. Thank you for this podcast x❤

1:32:00 Actually, my nickname in 7th grade was "Ummm, Ack-chew-uh-leee 🤓" 😂

This was a lovely conversation. Paul from Adult with Autism said that when he was first diagnosed, the RU-vid content he watched was mostly autistic women because he found them more genuine and willing to share their most difficult experiences. I agree with Paul, mostly because of you two lovely ladies. Thank you for putting yourselves out there and being so honest and unpretentious.

Wow! What a wonderful comfortable diversely high energy intimate conversation! At 62, taking on my now diagnosted ASD (🎉) 4 year old granddaughter, I am literally getting a chance to give her better. That she is autistic is celebrated and she is thr first in at least 4 generations of undiagnosed ASD! I appreciated listening in as you somehow spoke describing my experiences snd many of my opinions. I think that's maybe why our comments are intense and 'wordy'. How wonderful it would have been to sit with you live for that discussion! Thank you.♥️

I loved this interview! Related so much to the autistic experiences discussed. Especially with "things just spill out of my mouth" to fill silience 😂

I'm so glad you two are having a chat, I like you both, my one sided you tube friends. :D I'll get my coffee...

What a funny and also heartfelt conversation. I loved it. ❤️

My first episode! Glad I am finally able to watch. Claire does the most musical intros evah! I found out I am AuDHD because my son was diagnosed.

I just want to say thank you both for what you do. We received my 6 year old daughter's official diagnosis this week 🎉, so she doesn't have to go through as much as we did.

This series has been such a joy to watch. It's like, when your favorite TV shows start doing crossover episodes. I love it! I just wanted to say Claire, please don't ever lose heart over the algorithm. This always happens when people don't separate 2 interests into 2 channels because it can just make you a little harder to find. Booktube can be like this, too, with niche channels, and it just takes longer to grow.

Y’all are amazing. Thank you for sharing this conversation with us.

Regarding masking/unmasking, I read a book I really love ...have read it a few times. "Unmasking Autism" by Devon Price, PhD... Autistic writer. I recommend to anyone. He uses lots of examples from individuals' experiences, is well studied and objective as well as having lived experience, great explanations and also some useful exercises to help us figure ourselves out and identify our masking and what we might want differently, and lots of encouragement to not be afraid to do things differently to meet our own needs rather than doing what is "typical"...I can't praise it enough...I have it on Kindle and Audible. PS I am so Autistic myself that commenting on this video makes me very socially anxious...I never comment, always lurk in the shadows not wanting to accidentally grab anyone's attention. Big step. 😊

I relied on my autism before I knew what it was when I had to go back to college for a midlife career change. Accelerated program. Well timed burn out at the end as I was able to complete my degree. But holy cow.

Hi, Meg!! I am RaEarl, one of your Snails ☺️ It's really neat to see you here. Hi, Claire, I'm making a cuppa right now 😉 I love y'all!!! This is such a good video! Honest. Touching. Vulnerable. And, soooo funny!! Y'all help me feel seen, heard, and ok. Thank you, thank you, thank you! 🩵

Thank you so much for this. You don't know how much hearing your experiences means to me and how much I can relate to what you're saying

Thank you so much for sharing this talk. Sitting here in "for once" sunny southeastern Norway trying to type down a diary from a social gathering with other people on the Autistic Spectrum that I attended last night and finding it real hard to focus as I don't have the energy to reply it in my head to be able to write down my self, but also "need to" do it or I get worse even more, it been good for me to listen to you two talk and share about your life experiences. I'm 52, got a "accidental" diagnose back in 2016 due to some professional taking an interest in me and thinking what I had as a "reason for being me" was way off. I only the last year trying to understand and look at my life from the lenses of Autism, and what ever knowledge I could find out there. It is so good for my mental state when I find some connection points/marks, something to relate to, so thank you, for me this was a very good time spent with someone without feeling way to outside.

First relationship: "I think I just was happy to be liked by somebody" I feel that. This was exactly me. I thought it would be normal, that nobody likes me - that I am just a person who can't be liked. That everyone just KNOWS I am not to be liked.. I kind of accepted it in a sad way. I am so sorry for you, that you had to experience the same feelings. You seem to be such a lovely and kind person and fun to be around as a kid and adult!

If you both decide to create a podcast as cohosts and interview a third each episode...(folks with lived experience, medical professionals, educators, ect) I would listen to every episode!!! I love your energy and conversation together ❤ 💙 💜 💖

Thank you. This was so much fun to listen to.

This is a lovely conversation! I’m really enjoying it with my third cup of coffee! So nice to see Meg chatting with Claire, feels like you’ve known each other for years.

Thank you for this conversation. My RU-vid worlds have come together.

I still have issues balancing! I got burned out and didn't finish my Master's Degree.

this was delightful, thank you both so much 🤗✨ i'd like to emphasise what you said, claire, about curating the comments, because i struggled with this a lot as part of what you also mentioned about holding onto honesty and other rational behaviour in a moral sense. it was one of the most central realisations that helped me to survive burnout, that i am not actually obligated to always expect the worst. somehow that's what i was taught 'being realistic' meant, until i was forced to see it for the deeply self-destructive delusion that it really is. and i had been told that i was always only seeing the negative in everything so many times, when all i did was just point out that things are often more complicated than they seem, so i want to clarify that that's not what i mean here. it may be related, but it's not the same thing because there is nothing unrealistic, delusional or superficial about allowing ourselves to fully enjoy good moments in our lives, or making a safe space for our community. i've noticed the latter in many livestreaming chats and on discord servers, who claim to be very heavily moderated but fail to actually feel safe, instead of just jumping into tone policing mode when valid criticism arises. the funny thing is that i had already kind of given up on expecting more (which was definitely one of those very lonely places i feel we so often find ourselves in - at least pre dx) when i happened to join a new community and almost instantly got multiple timeouts myself, for just using the 'rough humour' i thought was common at that point. never would i have thought to be so happy about basically being rejected, but it's true that i instantly felt so safe and protected there and i appreciate it sooo much to this day! especially after having tried out being a content moderator myself, which was really hard and didn't end too well. so all this is just to say: please don't feel too selfish about curating comments, because providing safe spaces is really a service that is rare and extremely needed these days ❤

Thank you ladies! That was a lovely conversation. 😊

Great chat! Look up the book "I Will Die On This Hill". It's about an Autistic Mom and an Autism Mom who were at odds until they figured out they need to work together because we all want the same thing in the end.

I just had a similar discussion about what I felt I could and could not talk about without risking my job.

I'm not autistic, but I'm aroace, and I have missed *so many* flirtatious situations. And I've been on at least one date that I had no idea was anything other than a nice supper between friends. 😂

Kids parties are the woooorssst

I really appreciate this conversation. Thank you, Claire and Meg. Claire - I sing all the time. Please sing more. 💜. Meg and Claire you can do the degrees! I’m finishing up. Not alone.

I cannot CANNOT love this enough! This is so relatable.

Intro has to continue!

Thanks! Great video Claire and Meg!

Earrings I wear now: I've started wearing the kind of earrings I love; lampwork earrings, which are quite unusual, colorful, large, long and dangly. Turns out I get tons of compliments on them. I've always dressed in a manner called "classical" (very minimalist, modest, high quality fabric, tailored to my specific body, made to last generations) and I enjoy that, that's me, but I am also a big fan of "reclaimed" (very high quality) sweaters with embroidery covering the moth holes and slow stitching covering the worn spots.

I absolutely loved this podcast episode! I could listen to you both chat all day ☺️ please do more collabs ❤

Thank for this wonderful conversation ladies! I love both of your channels and content, you make me feel like I’m not alone and that there are other people who experience life like I do ❤️

"I'm also thinking about Star Trek." 😂 Yes!

Just know that you guys are heroes for sharing! I think you both have a very good idea of how much you want to share and when. I think its tremendously important to also share the cringe or shame related parts because it is representation as well. It's one thing to see someone else likes to sort their books by colour, it's another thing to hear how someone couldn't clean their teeth for months because of sensory issues. I think this goes for pretty much all neurodiverse life experience. Be it sexual identity or psychological or brain differences. Stuff is funny but it also is hard sometimes. And I think for the sake of fighting prejudice and for helping other people make sense of their experience it needs people that share the fun but also the rough aspects in their life. And of course nobody has to share more than they think they can handle. But I think for most things shared there are also a lot of people that profit from that information in one or the other way. Be it not being scared of autism any more or understanding themselves better. But it's definitely not nothing if you open yourself up for other people to see. So thanks for that! Meg and you are both doing really great and important content.

Great discussion, I feel you two on creating characters, this is something that took me years to see, I would invent these versions of myself in my mind and then play them out in the world.

10:23 OMFG the armchair psychiatrists undiagnosing your actual diagnosis and diagnosing you with personality disorders

wow, this is the like the greatest moment in Anglo women bridging the pond and meeting of minds Ever!

Great episode! Really enjoyed the conversation!

Claire I love what you said about this space being something that YOU curated and you have the agency to mediate what happens in it regarding your platform. I spent so much of my childhood just counting down the days until I was an adult because I hated having to put on an act and follow other people’s’ arbitrary social rules. It feels as good as I imagined. That’s so wonderful that you have not only created a comfortable life for yourself, but a space for others to feel welcome as well. Thank you for what you do! ❤

The introduction with the singing is so cute

But why wasn’t anyone listening? Parent wise? How could someone ignore their infant? Tantrums when teased to death is a question I have. Autism and CPTSD are so closely related so having both is something hard to understand or untangle.

1:20:00 OMG YES!!!!😭🙏 Having my daughter diagnosed 2yrs ago at 16 has been SOOOOOOO healing for me!!! I have since self-diagnosed at 46, and being able to advocate for her in ALL the ways I never had is a HUGE BLESSING for me! I am righting all the wrongs and our bond is SO strong and powerful for both of us.. ❤ Just hearing you say all the words has made me spontaneously sob wholeheartedly!!! (It has taken me so much by surprise I felt the need to comment, something I never normally do!) 🙏💖

My biggest question is what if your symptoms barely show? Barely meaning what- I don’t know.

I realised I may be autistic after a partner told me how much I was like my autistic/ADHD child. I couldn't get the NHS to do a test until I got into some trouble and the court requested a psychology report. By then I was in my fifties! Would have been useful to have known at a younger age.

Oh, my gosh, I'm such an awkward hugger. Like somehow my face ends up in their armpit or somewhere else strange. Or like do I look at them, or at their shoulder? And which side do I put my head on? Right or left? And if it's a side hug, do I lean my head in, or not? HUGS ARE SO AWKWARD. (Unless it's someone I know very well, like my spouse or a parent.)

My child diagnosed in the 90s was pathologists by school, his development seemed totally normal to me, which tracks now I understand my own ND

Another great video Claire. So many relateable things. I absolutely hated school. Teased all the time, very few friends - or friends that wernt really friends? Like they were happy to hang out one on one, but they had their own group of friends and I wasn't invited into that group. My mum would drag me to school most days, I'd be kicking and screaming and the teachers would have to pry me off her. And I'd often come home crying after school after having been bullied. I was so happy when school was done for good. I still have nightmares that I'm still at school (28 years later). And now I find it so strange to hear other people say how much they enjoyed school - that's such a strange concept for me.

I would love more exploration of abusive relationships or other relationship pitfalls of special concern to ASD people.

This was so valuable, you both rocking it! Thanks for everything! ❤

Loved it, thank you so much! Also 3:55 I totally relate, it's the same story for so many of us 😉😅

This was lovely. So glad to listen in! Thank you

That was a nice conversation. :)

Thank you both 💐💐💗

Such a great enjoyable conversation by 2 of my favorites! Can relate to so much! I definitely can be an "oversharer". Then the pendulum swings the other way because I get criticized for saying too much so I hardly talk in certain situations. Because of that they ask why I never talk and I should "be myself"... but not like that. The cycle goes on! 😢

Your conversation was awesome guys! 😊

Two of the youtubers I relate the most to! 💙 Thanks for this podcast. The intro must always be sung or there will be a revolt! It's a thing and will seem... wrong... if it's not there. I've always been told I was too sensitive, blowing things out of proportion, exaggerating, too negative (which I always said no... I'm just stating a fact, not being negative). I can relate to both of you in a lot of things that were said. I tend to overshare or be told I'm too quiet... I'm not good at finding the middle ground. I'm not going into detail about all my schooling stuff... I'll try not to write a novella this time. With videos... there's editing, scripts, preparation, and stuff, so I don't know why people expect someone to be the same in an edited video as in a live. 🤔

Well, you teased us all a good conversation w/the short vids and definitely delivered! Thank you Claire & thank you Meg! 😊🔥

Such an in-depth and honest conversation. Thank you both so much

My late diagnosis was extremely bittersweet

This is such an interesting, deep conversation. Thank you!

Great editing! Thank you for not burying the lede.

Wow what an amazing conversation! I'm so grateful for this and I can relate to much of it. I know who Meg is and I've watched many of her videos. She's so good at what she does!

Hi this is weird and wonderful. I have watched both Meg and Clair videos. Of course on both sides of the Atlantic. The. Suddenly you are with each other online. I am from the UK and been on zoom meets from the USA. Good to see others 1000s of miles away who also have experiences. But then see you two and we’ll weird in a good way. That is the distance but together is weird.

Thank you both so much!! Lots to think about. Insightful chat!! 💖💖

Another fantastic episode of autistic people talking!. Keep them coming keep up the good work both of you😄

That was a lot but soooo good! So much was relatable.

Amazing interview! Listening to both of your experiences was like reliving my past. Also, never stop singing!