Bad Movie Beatdown: Shadow Man (REVIEW)

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=Originally posted July 11th, 2011; Re-edited version=
Seagal Month continues, as Seagal hides in some thick shadows to rescue his daughter. Season 3, Episode 16.
#StevenSeagal #ShadowMan #ShadowManFilm #ImeldaStaunton #EvaPope

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7 авг 2024

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Комментарии : 161

@FilmBrain 5 лет назад

Originally posted in July 2011, this is a re-edited version that runs 2m 18s shorter than the original, and has been upscaled to HD and had noise reduction applied to remove tape and camera noise. As per usual, I've heavily trimmed down the film clips, removed one or two meaner lines, and tightened up the pacing - however, this is my personal favourite of the Seagal reviews because it is such a bonkers movie that it provided endless amounts of hilarity. This is the third entry in Seagal Month, following Out of Reach and Mercenary for Justice, and followed by Against the Dark and Half Past Dead. Hope you enjoy!

@alienboy1322 5 лет назад

@Film Brain The rant about Seagal's weight is one of my favorite moments in BMB. You really hit the nail on the head, Matthew. This is one of the biggest (no pun intended) problems with these movies. Seagal using body doubles just to simply move. I never seen this amount of laziness in a film. Imagine if Tom Cruise or Dwayne Johnson did this. They get fat and have to relie on body doubles to walk, run, or jump. It would an absolute embarrassment.

@Tubewings 5 лет назад

Plus the "BUM" at 4:21. I don't recall seeing that in the original.

@jamesatkinsonja 5 лет назад

This is probably my favourite BMB episode. Really hilarious.

@scottylewis8124 5 лет назад

I was hoping you'd make a fat joke like I did.

@alienboy1322 5 лет назад

Scotty Lewis He did, but he cut it out.

@CommanderZx2 5 лет назад

Perhaps he's called Shadow Man, because all of his enemies can hide within the shadow he casts.

@thejorgieverse15 3 года назад

HA!!!!

@sachikiriyama6705 5 лет назад

You know you fail as an action star when you constantly rely on body doubles for basic movements.

@jamesatkinsonja 5 лет назад

'Imelda Staunton, a year after her Academy Award-nominated performance in Vera Drake, appears in the film as Ambassador Cochran. She explained to the BBC's Mark Lawson that she filmed for two days, but that Seagal did not film any reverses with her, resulting in her filming all her scenes with Seagal's stand-in and a Romanian film student, who would read Seagal's dialogue off-camera. She claims she did the film for money, and as a chance to portray a character with an American Accent'-Glorious Wikipedia

@barbiquearea 5 лет назад

And this was before she played in her most iconic role as Dolores Umbridge in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

@mesousagaby740 5 лет назад

The "This alarms, THIS MAN" joke with the actor doing a random derp face is STILL one of BMB's best jokes.

@thatonebritishidiot3037 5 лет назад

Indeed

@GlenGlingo9 5 лет назад

All of Seagal's doubles seem far more capable and should have their own movies. A good script, well-choreographed stunts and they'd have a winner.

@scottylewis8124 5 лет назад

Yeah.

@GlenGlingo9 5 лет назад

Possibly...just considering better alternatives.

@damianstarks3338 5 лет назад

Glen Ryder true.

@wjzav1971 3 года назад

Wouldn't it be awesome to make a Seagal movie without Seagal actually in it or even involved in the production with all the body and voice doubles and then see if anybody notices.

@caseytwill 4 года назад

From what I’ve read, that’s a pretty accurate presentation of how Segal runs his actual “dojos”. Stands around talking and instead of teaching actual lessons, casually walks around the room randomly beating up on students and breaking their arms because he can. And they pay him big bucks to do it.

@sink4807 4 года назад

Sounds like they're getting at least something out of it, if they're into this sort of thing.

@chibikim77 5 лет назад

So he needed body doubles for getting out of a car, and going up/down stairs. Im sure the movie cost more for this.

@dvass7253 5 лет назад

8:13 - No wonder Umbridge was so evil. Being stuck in a crappy direct-to-DVD Seagal movie would turn even the most benevolent soul into a psychotic misanthrope. 11:20 - OK, clearly the movie should've been about this crazy old lady. Something went horribly wrong in development. 12:34 - Tom Cruise is in his 50s and he still risks life and limb for the sake of our entertainment. Seagal, I would say you're a disgrace to the action genre, but that would be an upgrade. 17:04 - PfffffftHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! 17:35 - This should've been the moment where she gives him her magic torture feather and makes him write "I will stop making shitty movies".

@archivedaccount5990 5 лет назад

Keanu Reeves is also in his 50s, and yet he still managed to kick ass like in his Point Break and Matrix days.

@JamesMC04 5 лет назад

D Vass Funniest comment in the thread LOL

@theitfactorjameswheezer2852 5 лет назад

Matthew Cool hell he kicks more ass now

@mollyanderson657 2 года назад

Ha! Like Steven seagal's contract would allow that to happen.

@cheezemonkeyeater 5 лет назад

"Man, all she wanted to do was take a piss." No one is allowed to take the piss in a Steven Seagal movie except Steven Seagal himself.

@stevena3244 5 лет назад

Huh a two word title for a Seagal film which was bizarrely only two thirds as good as his three word title efforts. However, since his three word title films are only one fifth as good as an average film he needs to star in a film containing fifteen words in order for that film to be considered an average movie. My suggested title would be: 'Out of His Depth and Shape, Thanks to Body Doubles I Still Have a Career'

@rahulthekkedath8923 3 года назад

Body doubles and sound doubles.. 😂

@JustinCoasters 4 года назад

6:53 He needed a body double to open Curtains!!!!

@JustinUltraboostWarriorTong 5 лет назад

According to IMDB, the Skye Bennet who appears here is indeed the same one who voiced the Aegis in Xenoblade Chronicles 2. Huh.

@mesousagaby740 5 лет назад

Yes, that really is her. From a direct to DVD movie...to Nintendo's most notable RPG franchise.

@scottylewis8124 5 лет назад

Wow.

@thatonebritishidiot3037 5 лет назад

@@mesousagaby740 most notable?

@theitfactorjameswheezer2852 4 года назад

Mesousa Gaby um no

@archivedaccount5990 5 лет назад

Wow, Seagal makes for a really crappy Mr. Miyagi.

@scottylewis8124 5 лет назад

Jackie Chan would be better.

@thatonebritishidiot3037 5 лет назад

@@scottylewis8124 he WAS better

@scottylewis8124 5 лет назад

@@thatonebritishidiot3037 ik.

@veronicasilk8429 5 лет назад

Ironic for an Aikido master to be shit at his job, but then again I wouldn't expect Seagal to be a good sensei.

@TheSkully343 5 лет назад

Like Film Brain said his job exists purely so he can beat the shit out of his students.

@GothamKnight84661 5 лет назад

"Has anybody seen Ritchie? Anybody know why did Bobboy Lupo!?"

@phreak761 5 лет назад

"I'm gonna keep coming back until somebody remembers seeing Ritchie"

@aj7808 3 года назад

11:00 - Seagal knows syphilis when he sees it...

@TheSkully343 5 лет назад

5:13 Did they just speed up the footage to disguise the fact that Seagal was too lazy to start running? I shouldn't be surprised but if even a light jog was too much for him at least cut away to one of his stunt doubles.

@brendangoodell6233 5 лет назад

We need more BMB Seagal movies. These are hilarious!

@MrCaerbannog 5 лет назад

17:07 - Feels funny watching this bit, knowing that a few years after this review was made, Spectre had James Bond himself shooting down a helicopter with a handgun (albeit just causing it to crash rather than explode mid-air).

@archivedaccount5990 5 лет назад

I think I also saw that kind of thing in 2 Guns.

@veronicasilk8429 5 лет назад

Seagal also shot down a chopper at the beginning of Exit Wounds.

@TommyDeonauthsArchives 5 лет назад

@19:48 We interrupt this cheap Segal movie to bring you Phincubus. Or We interrupt this Bad Movie Beatdown to bring you Phelous and The Movies.

@CyberkillGames 5 лет назад

17:36 Umbridge vs Seagal. Whoever wins, we lose.

@9Godslayer 5 лет назад

4:36 Here's a hint: it is the one with hair on it.

@DemonBoy3223 5 лет назад

Jeez, it's embarrassing that this film is titled _Shadow Man_ given how overweight Seagal is in the film. At least the title would work better for someone who is at the very least agile and slender. Maybe if we'd switch Eva Pope's Anya into the hero, then this movie might have become a bit better.

@cheezemonkeyeater 5 лет назад

You think that syphilis joke is bad, you should read about the sketch he pitched to SNL when he was the host.

@TommyDeonauthsArchives 5 лет назад

(Sees opening scene with Matt doing different voice clips) *Me:* (Talking like Bennett the Sage while my mouth is closed) Oh my God! He really is a Ventriloquist!

@thatonebritishidiot3037 5 лет назад

Oooft

@GBlastMan 5 лет назад

every Steven Seagal movie its like a videogame, Intro, a little bit of gameplay, exposition via unskippable cutscenes (the long and boring ones) again some gameplay, rinse and repeat ending in a crappy ending with a "conglaturations" or "You Winner!" Dear god how i hate this dude, i mean he could try to do more plot based slow athmospherical movies if he cant lift his goddamn leg from the floor but no he has to show to the world that he still "has it" look Steven if Jackie Chan itself cant do much crazy shit as how he used to do it in Wheels on Meals and stuff then *YOU CANT DO THAT AS WELL SO STOP TRYING TO SHOW THE WORLD AND JUST DO YOUR JOB RIGHT FOR CHRIST SAKE* !

@IntoTheGigerverse 2 года назад

This is one of my old favorites from years ago! I hope you revive this series, Mathew, and I'm so glad you got out from under Doug the Accessory to Rape Critic's yoke. Seagal's "heroes" are always such loathsome characters. I too felt bad for the scientists - they didn't do anything wrong, the gangsters stole their virus! Why did Seagal kill them!? Needless to say it did not surprise me when he was exposed as a horrible person in real life too.

@neilprice513 5 лет назад

I still can't follow the story of Attack Force as it makes no sense. The plot is difficult to follow and confusing as hell. The story is something like there is a drug on the streets that somehow turns people in some sort of vampire and Segal's character is some sort of cop who has to stop it. There is possibly something about aliens as well, but by about 10 minutes into the film your brain has melted and trickled out of your ears so you stop caring. ;op I know it is a "finished" film, but the abysmal editing and re-dubbing make it seem like it's several films that all ran out of money part way through and were badly "Frankensteined" together to recoup some of their production costs.

@skylx0812 5 лет назад

Looks like the makeup artist simply gave up and began using mortuary cosmetics on him.

@blapis-blazuli 3 года назад

I wish this review weren't my introduction to Imelda Staunton, I'd have been much happier just stumbling upon her vocal performance as Mrs. Lovett while looking up Sweeney Todd songs on Spotify instead.

@scottylewis8124 5 лет назад

The next time I want to see a movie with Shadow in the title. I'll watch The Shadow with Alec Baldwin.

@asgharabbas2193 5 лет назад

I really love bucks humor. I have never laughed so hard. Absolutely hilarious review. Bravo.

@georgekostaras 5 лет назад

He crushed a watermelon and that's supposed to be impressive?

@bloodrunsclear 5 лет назад

They used stock footage from INCUBUS? See Phelous to see how much of a garbage fire THAT movie is

@JamesMC04 5 лет назад

I hope the Seagal Body Double{s} got some credit :)

@reptomicus 4 года назад

Sammo Hung was a fatso but was 10 times faster and more agile than Seagal in his prime.

@milesknightestrada3286 5 лет назад

10:37: A typical Saturday night for Seagal.

@kasv4103 3 года назад

Please, we need a longer intro.😂 After your zombie-vampire review I'm hooked.

@jamesatkinsonja 5 лет назад

5:15, 10:28-Lol, good one.

@M.A.S.K._Crusader 5 лет назад

Love this part! 20:23

@Shades14 3 года назад

I thought this movie was a rip-off of Taken, but this came out 2 whole years before Taken.

@veronicasilk8429 3 года назад

I'm pretty sure this plotline was a retread of both Belly of The Beast and Out of Reach, ironically enough, were Seagal movies.

@iKadaj 5 лет назад

"this alarms... THIS MAN!!" hahhaah i love this episode :'D has some of your best jokes ever, go back to this style. it's great.

@lifeispeachypodcastyoutube 3 года назад

16:09 made me laugh harder then nearly anything in recent times - brilliant delivery!

@TeamGeist06 5 лет назад

8:14 umbridge

@slight0041 5 лет назад

where do they keep finding these parents who let their kids lives be ruined by being in a Seagul Production

@LigerFan 5 лет назад

Would a review of Machete (with Steven Segal rocking a Mexican Accent) fit into Bad Movie Beatdown? Machete being the only movie (AFAIK) that has Segal as a villain might be enough?

@jamesatkinsonja Месяц назад

He said he enjoyed it in his 'review of 2013' when the sequel ended up on the 'worst of the year' list.

@devinharbert6071 4 года назад

It’s really dumb they stole this title from a comic book superhero film, that was extraordinary way better, it’s not like Steven seagels like some kind of super hero or something.

@KremBotop 4 года назад

Devin Harbert and from a Megaman robot master...

@mechaman7818 4 месяца назад

1:50 I'm pretty sure this generic lab/prison location was also used in INCUBUS starring Tara Reid where she fights a psychic guy who likes to eat keys. Cause it had those same black/grey squares on the wall that look like they belong in a music recording room. It wasn't a very good movie, either. Phelous did a pretty funny review of it. Maybe that shooting location is just cursed.

@DbsOmniKing Год назад

The scary thing is a actually saw a shadow man when I was like 4 yrs old I was unbelievable scared

@jakublulek3261 3 года назад

OMG, these opening credits! What font is that? Comic Sans wasn't good enough?

@joaocisne556 5 лет назад

Do you Consider V for Vendeta a good, OKay or Bad movie?

@alienboy1322 5 лет назад

joaocisne556 It's great.

@wjzav1971 5 лет назад

0:50-1:03Ohhhhhhhhhh.....The passing of time really made this joke both cruel and ironic.

@KewlImp 5 лет назад

Old review, but the apoxy thing is real thing. Its a way to prevent reverse engineering.

@KaoticReach1999 6 месяцев назад

Theres double chins from being older (like balding) and can be fixed getting fit...and triple chins from not caring from an action star (quadruple really) He's had decades to fix it and STILL haven't...but anyone else unlike Seagal haven't been talking how he could destroy anyone in history

@M.A.S.K._Crusader 5 лет назад

BEST PART! 20:23

@alienbacon656 5 лет назад

Did Seagal eat his shadow?

@McCammalot 5 лет назад

Staunton's American accent is fine.

@Argumemnon 5 лет назад

Ugh. DeNiro's shooting of a helicopter in Midnight Run was light years better.

@gracekim25 Год назад

Well the opening momentarily confused me 🤣 Great job there! Liked in 2018 12.9.22

@Ubermensch9240 2 года назад

3:38 Hmmmmmmm............ *starts doing research*

@SALshaNoma 5 лет назад

I came across this movie one late night I couldn't sleep and the only thing I remember about this movie is the impossible bomb he makes when trapped in that one building.

@mollyanderson657 2 года назад

It does heal. It just heals in reverse.

@patrickmascarenhas4414 3 года назад

3:45 The Aegis herself.

@nifralo2752 3 года назад

Im surpised there are no vampire jokes cause Romania or that they didnt show the giant palace.

@grahamburchell9794 2 года назад

Hay mate your a legend the seagal film reviews is funny and entertaining 🤣🤘🏻 keep em coming fella

@siasti 3 года назад

Seagal only understands the difference between "internal" and "external" when it relates to food. For example, if the hamburger is "external" to you, make it "internal" as fast as possible!

@artistwithouttalent 5 лет назад

13:37 What, no joke about taking the piss out of her? :P

@asmrcity3147 4 года назад

Boyyy.. movies where these people always want to outperform and defeat martial artists at THEIR own skill that they’ve trained in for years is just🤯

@piggypooo Год назад

2:47 I was very impressed by the way you look like a watermelon. Can you teach me? 🤣🍉

@CanImakeamilliondollars 5 лет назад

*You have da power of the shadow, shadow man😂😂😂*

@grapeshot 4 года назад

Somebody once told me that Steven Eeagal could have handled Bruce Lee when Bruce Lee was in his prime. Of course I did this 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@saltymisfit6566 5 лет назад

Best opening so far 🤣🤣🤜🤛

@xRaiofSunshine 5 лет назад

Oh that poor woman :c

@owenoulton9312 3 года назад

Geez, if Chinese Inuit weren't bad enough in _On Deadly Ground,_ now we have Chinese Romanians...

@Zombiekilleryamato 5 лет назад

40 reuploads left to go At lest by my count

@milesknightestrada3286 5 лет назад

20:24: HA!

@KewlImp 4 года назад

I know this is an older video, but the epoxy thing is real. It is used commonly to protect tech company secrets.

@gracekim25 Год назад

Oh hello

@tintomara6209 3 года назад

Anybody remember when Steven was a genuine action movie star? Nope, me neither, it was so long ago...

@Yea___ 2 года назад

Haha this is so e-retro but it came out 2018/2019, thats crazy

@FilmBrain 2 года назад

Well, the review itself is from 2011.

@ExplorerDS6789 2 года назад

If it's any consolation, Mat, Imelda Staunton hated working on this movie.

@nunosantos00 2 года назад

I saw one of his recent movies,it was about prostitues being abused by some dangerous guys. The guy who works with him as his partner worked with him in The belly of the beast before,he is much better than him.

@devinharbert6071 4 года назад

Review the keeper and under siege 2.

@grahamburchell2065 5 лет назад

Lol 😂 Mathew your a legend

@cesarzpontu8886 3 года назад

Eva Pope is beautiful.

@BurningAzure 5 лет назад

3:45 No wonder Xenoblade 2's English voice acting sucks so much.

@scottylewis8124 4 года назад

She just phones it in here. She's a great VA!

@asgharabbas2193 5 лет назад

Steven segeal gave this review a thumbs down three times lol

@gracekim25 Год назад

So Steven is lazy🤦‍♀️ the only reason I can think of for stunt doubles for walking….unless it’s a heart condition thing🤷‍♀️

@shis1988 5 лет назад

12:00 in all fairness it'd explain why women go in groups. Nah jk. 14:30 ouch. 17:00 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 19:30 WHAT?! WHAT THE *FUCK* ?!

@Alucard-A-La-Carte 4 года назад

It's pathetic that this appalling hack kept getting work throughout the 80s and 90s, and still coasts on that while legit badasses who could ACTUALLY ACT AND DO THEIR OWN STUNTS like Cynthia Rothrock got overlooked. I didn't get his appeal back then, and I get it EVEN LESS now (except among a VERY obvious group).

@guntherhermann2317 3 года назад

Her own stunts? Oh, the naivety... Almost every physically demanding maneuver was done by an asian man in a wig, at least in her HK days.

@jarredkrum9894 9 месяцев назад

Steven segal hasnt made a good movie since the 90’s and then thats even pushing if lol those were just ok

@devinharbert6071 4 года назад

When u say his name, it sounds like your saying sea cow.

@starlimitz2 3 года назад

This intro did not age well.

@DarthVaderReturns1 5 лет назад

Mathew my former best friend hates you due to the fact that you bashed on his two favorite flms half past dead 1 and 2 including more

@FilmBrain 5 лет назад

Someone liked Half Past Dead 2? My apologies to your former friend.

@FilmBrain 5 лет назад

I think your friend needs to calm down. Being that angry can't be healthy.

@DarthVaderReturns1 5 лет назад

@@FilmBrain Mathew my former best friend even hates me due to the fact I love a American civil war movie called gods and generals he even hates on me due to the fact I love all 3 star wars trilogys and he calls me a traitor for loving a movie that came out in 1993 called Gettysburg and he even wants to beat the shit outta me because I hated exicit wounds and half past dead 1 and 2 hes a very big fan of Seagal snipes and van damme he loves actors who are go to from hit movies to direct to dvd or blue ray movies plus he loves mega pirnhana and giant octopus vs mega shark he also loves frank millers sprit movie he hates linkara due to the fact he hates on his favorite books and he loves all the twilight books and movies he loves a lot of dumb movies he considers epic movie disaster movie and meet the spartans as the funniest movies ever made in movie history and hell he thinks all these bad directors should win big awards and he told me half past dead 2 should have won a academy award due to the fact kurput and bill Goldberg are far better actors than mark Hamill and Harrison ford and the list goes on my former best friend is a idiot for hating on you and holding a big grudge against you

@skullyskaric7779 11 месяцев назад

11:03 ...talking from a old man making shit jokes about unprotected sex. he sure pissed alot of people off who encountered that syphilis before.

@josephsawyer3982 5 лет назад

I'm I the only one who gets thrown off by his pronouncing his name segow?

@christopherb501 4 года назад

Anyone else think that, with the constant body doubling from the guy, Seagal has a _ton_ of money invested in deepfaking?

@nameless5413 4 года назад

there is difference between star trek and star crap. ToS, TNG were light on nonsence and actualy only used it in extreme cases, DS9 was transitional period into Voyager, Enterprise and onwards there bullshit reigne supreme ever since.