There has to be some balance imo because having and maintaining your social skills is actually very important. You should never seek external approval from others, as you should rely on your inner worth and approval the most but you shouldn't fully disregard what other people say or think either. The best thing you can do is to find an occupation you have the skills to become great at and surround yourself with like-minded people in an organization to become better and create the best results. In short, care about the things that really matters and ignore the things that do not.
@@True38 Yes, I agree that it does not mean being asocial. You can still enjoy social situations, you just don't have to sacrifice yourself in the name of pleasing others, especially if their values differ a lot from your own.
I agree with Super Sado, I'm curious what you mean. Toxic positivity is a contradiction of itself isn't it? I dont think you can be positive and toxic simultaneously. You may be referring to the modern trend of virtue signaling, in which case you try to put yourself on a higher moral ground than others because they do not share your beliefs
@@GamerSix66 It becomes extra complicated if you put yourself on higher moral ground because you don't share the beliefs of people who do that type of thing.
I'm way happier alone, laughing alone even at myself, making jokes, being more kind to myself. I'm a quiet person and people always say some really evil shit to me. It's pretty wild that if you don't talk people get really insecure and start being disgusting human beings. People say they like me once they get to know me but social groups I'm always singled out and not wanted so I just walk off or leave
I stopped working as an engineer (too much pressure) and I didn't even finish my masters degree. Now I'm a truck driver, it might not be prestigious, but at least I'm happy. I reached a point in life where I just gave up on trying to be what society and family espect you to be. Life is too short to live to please everyone else.
Hey, I’m in a similar spot and I’ve been looking at jobs like that. What did you do to get the job and what is your life like now that you’re doing it?
@@KindaSemiCompetent In this case, firstly you have to process the license, and then once you have it, you just have to apply for the many vacancies you find out there for truck driver.
the peace one gets from zero to no wants is underrated to an ungodly level. people look at you funny. BUT FUCK THEM. you cant look and compare yourself at all. no matter what you do, there is always a bigger shark and a smaller shark. so its pointless to even run thinking to beat someone up or beat someone down
IN 2015 I WAS WORTH $6 MILLION* Now I have nothing except neighbours who bring me vegetables from their garden - IM way richer now... *I suffered brain damage in a mugging and lost everything - became homeless.
Al Bundy, the perennial "loser", in the hit sitcom Married with Children, had an episode that summed up what it's like to just accept yourself despite society's definition of being a "loser". In that episode he returned an overdue library book that was 30 years overdue. The librarian, who was there 30 years ago, called Al a "loser", and that she always knew he would be a failure in life. Al responded by saying that he might have a lousy job, a family that disrespects him, no money, old and balding, but one thing he is not is a "loser". He went on to say that putting up with his failures in life and not putting a bullet in his head makes him a WINNER. The crowd cheered Al, as well they should.
@@robertschiller5422 He said that in many episodes, but to the old librarian in that episode he spoke only of his failures and how not giving up in life makes him a winner in life.
That episode is a classic , i haven’t seen it in years i remember that he told her that even as crappy as is life is he still wakes up every day and does the 9 to 5 and that make him a winner …great comment
@@bigmayne5982 conquering yourself comes with self-realization. Self-realization will make you see that hierarchy is but a tool of control to keep the weak blind and obedient. Thus it is the duty of the self-aware man to break the slave trance of the people around him to get closer to utopia instead of being a mercurial moron who's so insecure of his strength, he must always keep an external tab of it by oppressing the weak. If you don't relate to this point of view, you haven't achieved step 1.
People don’t judge or think about you as much as you assume they do. They’re too busy worrying about themselves and how they are being judged by others.
People who are self conscious of judgement have been harmed before hence the predicament. People judge hard and then use that judgement to rationalize harm to others. That's a hollow saying.
Think about others and judge others is different.People always judge others one way or another. But that doesn't mean they think at hoe about every other person. So this famous quote is misleading
I'm 28 years old, never went to collage, never had a girlfriend and deliver pizzas. I'm not at all happy with my life and have suffered extreme low motivation and depression most of it. This video really helped me accept my circumstances, thank you Didn't expect my comment would blow up like this. Thanks for all your support and advice :)
You sound like a cool guy. Sorry you struggle with depression, it's a common problem for many now. Try seeking help for it, as you dont deserve to suffer
@@greathornedowl1783 which country is it? Some of them have affordable options for therapy via national health insurance. Or even orgs that employ trainee therapists who are in the middle of their certification can be of use, if money is the issue
@Caleb Newman92 well my problem is not nature that I've to defend myself against pending disasters, but fellow human beings never now their mood swings or madness.
For a start, reducing the amount of things I own has made me happier. I like staying home rather than going out. I don’t enjoy drinking. I work part time and hopefully won’t need to work full time again, so I can have more time to myself. Simple things make me happy. This philosophy works for me.
Holy crap that literally went through my mind 3 minutes ago! I was wondering why I am working twice as hard on what I love but I’m not really into the money even if it gives me good money
@@ModeratelySpeaking no. The idea of losing is to do it with no regret, and still be able to carry on. Intuition is a power. You have to know it, when you see it. This video is sarcasm. Ever heard the term, "ya win some, ya lose some". Well we're all losers at one time or another.
Great advice! I've always thought that those who are "cool" are those who have let go of what others think of them. They do what _they want_ because it makes _them_ happy... rather than mimicking others in order to appear as such. ✌️🌞
I used to hate being called less ambitious , now I don't even care because at the end of the day, when you die nothing else matters because you'll be dead. I live by simplicity and it brings me peace.
I want to ask you a question that moving out of your parents house without the constant feat of being kicked out of your house brings, most of us peace and freedom and for that you need money for that and that to as soon as possible, for you to enjoy your freedom from today.
@@mrintrovert5068 what I mean about being less ambitious, I don't mean being lazy and doing nothing. I mean by the fact that I just want to buy a small house and live out my days as simple as possible. That includes my work, not gonna stress out over my job just because everyone else is to make it in life according to societies high standards. I should've clarified more on what I meant. I've moved out of my moms along time ago.
@@ZetaMagnus It's subjective as most things are; some might enjoy the complexity and deal with it well, adapt to it greatly and enhance their life and standards, while others (me included) hate the chaos and complexity surrounding our life, as it does nothing but stress us or corrupt our inner being too much to go back. Personally, I have dealt with a lot of complexity for my own sake, and it all burned me out and took away many things I deemed important, precious and integral to my self, while all I wanted was stability and improve myself. I did get a lot of ideas and advice to deal with certain circumstances, but it won't matter much to me as I lost my sense of "innocence."
Depends tho. If u live 100% alone in the jungle you can be 'absolutely free'. If you live around others, live in a society you must be respectful and wisely use that freedom in a harmless way.
People consider you a loser if you quit something but if that something is TOXIC, like a marriage, workplace, of educational program, it is in your best interest to quit. You are not a loser, you recognize that this situation is harmful to you.
Let people think of you as a loser. It's very relieving and takes a lot of pressure off. Reminds me of the quote - "Call me whatever you like; I am who I must be" - Fred N.
Do concur, 65 year old "loser" here. It cracks me up now when people like Jordan Peterson assume that I must be quite unhappy, I can assure you this is hardly the case.
I'm reading all the other comments on this video.. Everyone is so nice and supportive here.. Seems like "losers" are the friendly, supportive type. Oh wait, maybe it's because our society values greed, money, fame, "beauty", and other things with no real value!
@@wisdom-for-life well if you focus on all those things, you tend to compete with other people, and when you fail, you see yourself as a loser. However, if you just don’t care, it doesn’t really mean you’re a loser, you’re just you.
I am camping in the forest with my dog right now. So glad to have left the city... It's cold but i love the fresh air, no people around, less radiation, feeling of more freedom, silence, insights about life, connection to the elements and so on.
Hang in there, much love, don't let anyone get you down because what they're projecting their insecurities, and don't give up or stop telling yourself you're strong enough to handle anything
I know what you mean.. I left my wife and kids.. haven't talked to them in 7 years now... some people say that it's wrong.... but life is sooo care free now. I finally feel like I did when I was a toddler... totally focusing on myself
Once you are truly indifferent and don't care about what others think, you are truly free. Don't follow the crowd, be the person walking in the other direction. Get off social media, it's all fake. Live your life the way you truly want. If that makes me a loser, than I'm a winner! 😊
I agree but it's not that easy. You need balance and realize that you are dependent on other people and can't just not care... The world doesn't work that way and we humans are social animals.
@@fi6ue-traitor No, you're mistaken. I once thought similar to you. But when bullshit happens in life, when life throws curve balls at you, you will wish you had a trustworthy social network to stand with you in your time of need. Imagine you were Kyle Rittenhouse, alone, with zero camera evidence of the event that happened that night in Kenosha. You'd be innocent but fucking screwed.
@@True38 Some people need other people, and others don't. It's an individual's personality which decides. I'm highly introverted and actually prefer being away from people. That said, to be social generally is a need for sure. Complete isolation is unhealthy. As for "balance," everybody's balance is different. As for me, I'd actually prefer living in a small community on the edge of nowhere. Visiting crowded places is not ruled out, but I truly dislike society as a whole, so I keep my distance. I've discovered humans are untrustworthy, and unreliable. I'm actually more at peace following my own path, and not one that other humans try to force on me. I love being a loser, it's a hell of a lot less stress. I got rid of all social media except RU-vid and the occasional search engine. I'm so happy I did! All I need is my inner world. The outside world can suck a fat one. 😝 (Sociologically, and not in any way that diminishes the natural beauty of the outside world.)
@@Un1234l lol I personally don't view Rittenhouse as an innocent victim and his situation really doesn't fall under "friends helping friends" as the people who came to his aid did so not out of friendship but out of seeing him (and using him) as a cause celebre. With that said, friends are great to have and can seem to be the ones who take your back in your time of need, but wait until they hit their 30-40's and have a family of their own to provide for and protect. It took me until my 30's to fully appreciate the meaning and truth behind the adage "blood is thicker than water". A family's bond (esp. between siblings, but not exclusively) will begin to outweigh the best of friendships in terms of significance, trust, endurance and willingness and ability to "stand with you in your time of need". Just a thought.
Society most likely has always been a sad state of affairs, you got your “elite,”convincing everyone that the elite own the land, and that we have to make all the money for them but get the table scraps. Then over time the system gets smarter, the elite build this crazy fucking system that manipulates us, and pits us against each other, while they swing glitters and golds in our face like a carrot on a stick. They exclude our basic needs from us, and force us into gathering the ingredients, putting all the work into the mix, but at the end of the day, we get the smallest slice of the cake
@@frequentiis Yeah, the technocratic separation agenda is quite obvious now. It is all an expression of fear gaining ground but bumping into obstacles, too. The strife for external power is an escapism from inner turmoil.
Growing in life, I feel more and more that my social circle see me as a loser. I'm in my mid 30's. I don't own a house nor a car. I ride a bicycle. I don't have fancy clothes nor any fancy possessions. I don't plan to make a family, but I'm open to the idea if it ever happen. But I have my freedom. I don't have any debts, I do the work I want. I switched of career, even if I was very successful in my previous one, just because I wanted to. If I want to stop working for a couple of years, I can do it as my life cost is low and I don't spend lots of money even if I have a high income. But still, I can see that others kinda think of me as a dysfunctional human as I don't fit into the social standards. I'm cool with it. And I don't have to go see a shrink because I feel miserable in my life.
Well, how about getting a cool wife this way lol. I'm sorry but I do think that's part of the price we the cool people pay. And again, lol. Cos also this is nonsense.. So? Let's stick to jazz music..
A lot out there would envy you for what you chose not to have. Be careful if one day you decide to have a family because if it is not a wise enough decision, it would take away that peace of mind. That is priceless.
I'm a disabled vet, who is now a twitch streamer who doesn't make a dime doing it. This video holds much water with me. Perception is a wise man's tool.
This is correct ideologically but the system gives you no leverage it's work or don't eat. I am fundamentally forced to participate in a value system or perish. Existence is the real trap . The enemy itself
@@alvinjosebasa1158 No shit but thinking a certain way doesn't change reality, you can jump off a building and believe that you can fly all you want yet you will always hit the ground no matter how positive you are.
I love being a loser, less fake friends in my circle, I don't have to show off or pretend to be somebody I'm not, it's a great feeling being a loser, I'm truly free without any expectations from others
Agreed, the people you find when you just stop caring are truer and like you for you and not some pretend version. My motto, mainly with women as always been, either take me as I am or move on. If I have to change who I am and stop being me then its not worth it.
I am a loser and do not have to mess with humans at all. I have no friends. I do not know how, but people realise I am a loser without really knowing me. This automatically makes them not anything to do with me. Without friends, nor a romantic interest, life is extremely easy, predictable, symmetrical, affordable, and full of freedom, life is with nobody in it but myself. I am also far more knowledgeable than almost all social people. I am supernaturally self-reliant, have no dependencies on anybody, know how to do everything myself and by myself, even things that most people require assistance from others to do. I do not even have to pay, "professionals," to do anything for me, save maybe medical services. I can not complain. Besides, I have been the only person in my life for so long that I would not even know how to converse with anybody. Thus, I just keep things the way I know them, alone. I require nobody in my life.
Let me guess you live off a disability check and only survive by borrowing money from your friends. Your friends are degenerates and you never go out. Great job loser
Two and half years ago, I quit in utter existential resignation my high-paying stressful career tolive as a recluse and work intermittenly a low paying job of delivering cars, because I enjoy it. My entourage looks at me with worry and pity. But I couldn't care less. I feel calm and alive now for the first time in years.
what if you do bring pain? And isn't being happy and peaceful enough to bring pain, or at least mad jealousy, to others? I'm just being provocative 😉 good luck
@gt345 Why with the "harmless"? why should their pain be any different than their "reactions"? Disregard both. I think there's an awful lot of unintended consequences in everyday life, and I don't think anyone got a real good grip on what's "harmless" or what will bring pain in the short run, but happiness in the long run. I think a better philosophy is to not care too much about others' pain, happiness, well-being or jealousy. Don't examine your actions closely at all! Follow your instincts, and when your instincts are wrong..., tough, just say it was fated, meant to be. Or as Billy Burroughs said, "exterminate all rational thought!" It's the only way to survive the language virus!
@VAERS Sandwich as good a reason as any. I'm surprised the general public still has no idea of the difference between taking maintenance doses and suicidally chasing euphoria. Or a specific addiction as opposed to general substance abuse. There has to be a conspiracy, to give all addicts and users the same ineffective treatments! maybe that's a bit paranoid, but I've met "responsible" addicts who are just doing enough to not be sick, and they get the same treatment as hard-core junkies, and that doesn't seem right.
When I was young, we had a family friend that would always say something that has stuck with me to this day: "Smile kids, it'll all be over soon." At first glance, it seems morbid and scary, but when you really take a step back and analyze it, it's oddly comforting
It is, but it's also a FU to society, as opposed to something like: "going through chemo is bad, but it beats the alternative!". Don't get me wrong, it's not necessarily a bad thing to question blind optimism, but I'm sure your family friend alienated some people.
@@squirlmy chemo isn't that bad if you fast, studies have shown that 3 days of fasting and then eating before chemo reduces the effects of good cell death/damage by over 90% but doctors don't tell you this, some doctors think telling people to not eat for 3 days is cruel, but fasting also creates new stem cells and regenerates the immune system. but yeah if you do chemo without fasting chemo can be bad.
I've been a loser for about 25 years. Well, I believe that I was a born loser but for the first couple of decades of my life I fought hard against it. Once I accepted my place, the fight wasn't so hard. Now it's just my life & it's so freeing. I don't compete with anyone. I don't get envious of anyone. I don't really take notice of anything or anyone. Other people's opinions mean nothing to me & I'm happy in my space. Life is easy. I remember in the beginning thinking that accepting my loser status would kill me. Actually, it set me free
It doesn't sound like you're free at all. Your post reeks of irony. You say you don't care about others' opinions, yet you just labeled yourself by a label that "they" use: loser. Others' opinions can be valuable. You can learn new things, fresh perspectives, etc. from others' opinions. You are only human and are not all-knowing. You can, however, learn from the experiences of others. Competition can be healthy when not competing in a malicious manner. Competition breeds growth and evolution. Being envious of someone has nothing to do with being a loser or not being a loser. Life is never easy. This notion that life can be easy is childish logic. Being a loser will not help you cope with the death of a loved, a terminal illness, financial straits, social ailments, etc.
@@jidowu6019 Ambition is a misguided effort. True happiness lies in your ability to be happy with nothing. Only when you don't care can you truly be free.
@@binbows2258 I disagree with everything here. Having ambition is not a misguided effort nor does it necessarily mean anything. Not caring about anything is straight up depression. Here we have a guy encouraging others not to care. That's a piss poor woe is me attitude that gets you nowhere fast.
I am in that boat, I really don't want nothing in traditional terms. Even if you give me. But I do want the ability to do something creative, independently , and without any pressure. That freedom keeps me happy and excited to wake up everyday.
@Coal depressed man wants it but does nothing. Being content with nothing and looking at people in worse situations, not looking down on them, can even help that will help with depression. Ignorance is the big reason for depression. Ignorance is karma catching up. It's more about the inner world not the outside world. Depression is about two self's being at war inside one mind.
Being autistic, I never really had friends, the closest person to me is my mom. But in quarantine my mental health skyrocketed. If having no friends and being a loser means I can be this happy and ok with myself then I'll pay that price
Some people are loners. Most autistic people want to desperately belong. I never did want to belong, to have my life busy with others. Take care fellow kitty.
Being a loser is just a label from others who are projecting on you how they would perceive themselves if they were in your situation. Sad thing. If you can live with what others think of you, you are fine. If you don't think of others as they are losers you won't think like that about yourself either. Always appreciate yourself, no matter what life gives you.
Cheap justification for internal dissatisfaction. Shallow toxic positivity that doesn't actually solve anything. A loser might be a label, but it's also a feeling, a state of mind, and a position in society. It is an observable thing, not a social construct, and it should absolutely be avoided. If you don't think losers exist, you are either very lucky to be in a place where you don't see people who have lost everything, or you have blinded yourself with your own toxicly positive, unhelpful attitude . There's a few absolutes in life that relate to being a loser. First; hierarchy is inevitable. All live exists in hierarchy. Second; the natural state of the universe is entropy. Life is no different, and if you aren't moving forward, you're falling behind. Third; it absolutely sucks to be at the bottom. It is chaos incarnate. Nearly all the crime happens to the people at the bottom. Nearly all the rape, theft, murder and assault happens to those, and by those, who have little. Not only is being a loser not "just a label", it is living hell. At the lowest rungs of society, health is poor, and pain is a constant. Depression and anxiety is all but guaranteed. Those people can barely do anything for themselves. They don't even do housework, because they are so busy trying to distract themselves from their discomfort with cheap entertainment and substance abuse. They can't get a job because they're discriminated against, truthfully not because they are poor, but because they aren't organized, or are uncomfortably nervous. You are not only dead wrong on this, but harmfully so. Source: I'm a support worker.
@@plainidiot7596 It also depends on the country. I have a friend who gets more from gov for 3 months due to not working compare to me who has to work 7 months just to earn what he gets from gov.. Also most 3rd rate countries get way less then others. My monthly paycheck is 300-350e a month and i work in construction.. sometimes 8 sometimes 10h a day 6 day a week
@@filds1 yea and you don't have to pay 800€ rent or pay 100-200€ a month for food. welfare won't make anyone rich. i've just been in a third world country for a month ; outside of successful people, they were like "oh my good you earn 2000€ a month you must be rich" "everyones earning 5000€ and drives a ferrari". meanwhile i earn 2500€ a month and can't even save a single euro ; I don't go out and haven't been on a holiday in 5 years.
When everything you touch breaks or turns to shit, when you loose every bet, when you hurt yourself at every opportunity, when you are stupid and gullible, when your entire life is garbage, and mostly, when you have statistics and physics defying bad luck, you are a loser
“The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.” - Friedrich Nietzsche
Tell that to the victims of suicide who have killed themselves because of their shame because their reputations have been tarnished falsely, cancelled online or were harassed/bullied to death in real life and in the online space. I feel like people try to live on unrealistic platitudes and advices like these then wonder why suicide rates are through the roof nowadays. Human nature and a sense of belongingness always triumphs against false advices like these. Stoicism isn't even a philosophy. It was originally a diary by a Roman Emperor who wrote down his feelings. A Roman Emperor, the highest position of power and prestige and privilege isn't the best place to take life advice if you are in a position of vulnerability or oppression or come from a minority. It's like President Trump writing down his feelings and taking advice from him.
@@Incubator859 I get your points, and agree to some extent. But Epictetus, whom this video was based on, was a slave not an emperor. Pretty sure Epictetus came before Marcus Arelius, and Stoic foundations predate Marcus by about 400 years in Ancient Greece, so it is an established philosophy
@@Wj21-m3c Ah, so he was coping then. One is coping that you shouldn't have a sense of achievement because it was a coping mechanism for his lot in life and the other one is speaking from a position of power and privilege that you shouldn't let anyone "affect" you (because surprise, surprise, when you are the most powerful man on your Empire during that time, you have the luxury of doing so and shrug off the most personal malicious attacks to your reputation). You shouldn't take advice from both as these are both extremes and not really in the range of "normal".
@@Wj21-m3c yeah, they got bullied and shamed cuz they couldn't keep up with their reputation and others expectation right? idk, that sounds like another proof why stoicism is quite useful
Aspire to be a genius, aspire to be wealthy, aspire to be powerful. But, be always ready to leave all these things behind at any point of time when you feel like not chasing it anymore. Don't lose yourself in the process of becoming successful in the eyes of others. This is true freedom, a liberation.
That's a nice quote, and can very readily see how it is true. For example, surely many a legal case "won" is like this. The details are indeed often public.
I'm a loner loser and I absolutely love my life now... I used to try so hard to fit in and be liked and have money.. due to life events I've literally cut myself from the fabric of society and spend almost all my time alone... And I love it.
@@GORILLA_PIMP Yeah brother! I spend my time watching documentaries and learning everything I can, I just started learning about building computers and I'm thinking about trying it. I have a million hobbies, lol... I don't fit in with anybody, I'm just socially awkward. I'm happy, there's not a angry bone in my body at anybody, I'm weird and I love it.. People just complicate life, always something negative or about things I don't care to discuss... I have absolutely no desire to fit in.
@@petergriffin383 Hey i been learning bout computers too lol Yeah but for me part of why i choose to isolate is people just make me too mad Like every time i leave the house people be pizzin me tf off Like man i can't tolerate being around anyone these days But being alone constantly just feels so right it's great And yes i agree Being around other people makes life WAY more complicated Wow i hate that Man if only i knew when i was a kid about people an life what i know NOW Holy chit i would a been the all time goat of loners lmfao
this advice while it sounds nice is far from useful or practical. it's more of a thing you tell kids instead of "don't worry about it". it has all good intentions i assume, but still i find the "be yourself" to be very superficial! just my 2c :^)
@@genesises hi there, let me explain, in this context “being yourself”, otherwise ambiguous and cliche, as you pointed out, means being yourself in essence, the pure consciousness - here and now. In this state of presence you are free from conceptual labels and identifications. So any identification with “good” or “bad” is ultimately false and harmful. For example identification with the label “winner” is as bad if not worse as identification with the label “looser” because things change and nothing in the world of forms is lasting. We are one consciousness in our essence and the less we identify with thoughts 💭 (stories our mind tells ourselves) on the individual level the closer we get to the realization of that truth. That who we already are and will always be - the one ☝🏻
@@sentientpower i very well understood the context im just arguing the other side of the coin. i doubt anyone is as you describe all of the time and improving as a person takes constant hard work and is not a "level" you reach. as humans we are all incredibly subjective and biased as well - you can't escape this. identifying to anything to a certain degree isn't necessarily harmful and most of these emotions are there for a reason to begin with - then as you say, how you choose to deal with it and learn from it is another thing.
@@genesises what you say is true. However, it is possible to bypass all that by identifying with the real Self. Whichever route is taken ultimately leads to freedom.
Before watching this video I cried myself into the deepest bottom because I felt like a loser who led a meaningless life . Then I came here and found this. Thank you
Sometimes crying is good, it's healthy to take it all out every once in a while. About the "meaningless life" part - make your meaning finding a meaning, something to live for. And make it your life's goal to make that happen, life is way more exciting this way ;)
enjoy the distractions of the screen instead , Run away from what is hurtful , after all we as humans have done that for centuries , but right now in the digitized age that is made much simpler
"-It is better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for who you are not." So true in theese times when the most important thing in life is the amount of likes you have on social media...
The flaw in this is "who are you?". No matter what someone sees you as or how you see yourself, you are always being "you". Weither you gain a massive ego and be an asshole or just be humble about things. You could have been anyone or be anyone as of right now. To think about how wide it is, it doesn't really answer the question until you come to the conclusion of saying "I'm me". No one was ever fake, neither were you, when people say "just be yourself" they're just saying "do what you want to do", but that's another thing to talk about. Should we always do what we want to do? I know some of us are taught we don't always get what we want, however I think a better thing should be "Sometimes getting what you want isn't good for you". Although it teaches you to not always go by your desires, it does make one a little more empathetic towards achieving someone else's desire rather than ones own. (Aka kindness and being selfless, even though you incorporate their want to your own desire).
@@areyoutheregoditsmedave you should over not give a fuck about people hating you for being the way you want to be. These days I couldn’t care less about the opinions of others about my way of living or the way I want to be
Whenever I feel bad for being a "loser" I remember that ALL the "successful" people of my age I know have to take anti-depressants daily and get drunk every weekend to even tolerate their way of life
I understand what you’re trying to say, but be mindful that mental illness has nothing to do with “success”. I can be happy and fulfilled in my life while still needing to take antidepressants to keep my brain chemicals in balance 😉
@Rodrick Perkins_CPA I meant “need” exactly in that way. When my neurotransmitters are in balance, my symptoms of mental illness decrease. My brain needs those levels balanced or I can’t function. Literally. I was born with a serotonin imbalance which in turn is why I struggle with OCD. Having them balanced out helps me stay alive and function. I don’t think it’s fair to say someone is less successful because of medical issues.
Man, that point about how even people who achieve the most coveted achievements in our culture-fame, fortune, mass adoration-will only feel joy and fulfillment from them TEMPORARILY and then quickly return to baseline (because that's the way we're ALL hard-wired: to always seek homeostasis; to always roll back down to a "ground state" from an "energetic" one) ... is SUCH a critically important point to remember.
Last month I purchased "Stoicism for Inner Peace." What really shocked me is that much of what was written reflected the life I have been living. This told me why I am feeling so good regardless of what I "own" and what others say to me about me. What others say or "think" is merely a projection of what's going on inside of their own mind. It has nothing to do with me or with you. And the definition of every word we use is even sometimes humorous. "Loser," Wealthy," Successful," Beautiful," etc. In reality, every one of those words converts eventually to "Dead." :) And even that one word holds many perceptions! This is the most comforting and enjoyable channel on RU-vid.
What makes me feel like a loser is not doing what I love and ignoring the drive to try new things due to fear. Everything else doesn't matter to me. As always great content!
Same with me. I have social anxiety which I tried denying for years but I’ve come to accept it now and it’s the reason I have not done a lot of things I wanted to do. I hope I can conquer it so I can be free.
Life is a war, dear soul ❤️ You will eventually leave your body here on earth, one way or another, so better get it ready and go, go and fight! Just make sure to strive to do the best to your ability, as you can see the world through your own life vision - to fight for the good cause 🙏🏻
This video is full of wisdom. Even though we are in an era where people seek for success, career or richness to feel valuable, being able to see that opposite of these rules/points of views can actually be valuable is priceless. Real losers are the ones who are slave to other people's opinions. Thanks for your insightful videos. I love how you combine different ideas and share them in a single, simple way. 👍
Remember the one with the real inferiority complexes, are the ones that Need attention all the time, look at me see how great I am. The wallflowers are not looking for recognition as they are secure in their being, and don't seek or need validation and legitimacy of actions.
This video is GOLDEN, Hope everyone sees this, it's fine to not to be this superhero of a person an excel in everything. We can be the way we want, and it is completely fine.
so true. as kids, we're programmed that it is good to be popular. in my 20s, i learned not to dream of it and just want people to leave me alone from praise or hate. same thign in the workplace, doing your best and working hard only generates hate and envy, or unwanted attention, it is absurd. after that, I learned that being wealthy or the outside appearance of being wealthy just warrants unwanted attention and stress. The only challenge with being a loser is with relatives/family, criticizing you to improve or do something. Concept of being a loser is hard to explain to small minds.
BUT: This kind of thinking in this video here is dangerous. Society needs skillful and competent people. We need great doctors to discover the cure of diseases, economists to solve poverty problem etc.
1st step to being happy with yourself and bettering yourself: Delete all social media, you will be happier with your own small successes in life, without the approval of others.
I see this as a stupid step, I want to be able to talk to people I know on facebook and see how they are doing. Different if you want to completely isolate yourself.
@@rc6115 If you feel that it's good for connecting with family and friends and it's not toxic, keep it. Otherwise, slowly part yourself from it, reminding yourself why it's bad for you to go back. Start with just one day off social media per week, then two, then three, etc. You'll probably get used to it or even start to enjoy your days offline. I did this some years ago and I don't miss it at all. No FB, no Twitter, never had a TikTok (I quit before that) and I could not care less. Anyone worth keeping in touch with already has your phone number. And messaging is free nowadays. Won't solve all your problems ofc, but it did bring me some peace of mind and extra time. Sorry for the long reply, just wanted to genuinely help, and I hope this was useful! 😊
Social media is a machine that is designed to be very addictive. With any addiction the substance is draining you while making you feel full. So. Are you the elevator moving up, or it's counterweight moving down?
I deleted my Facebook about 6 months ago(the only social media I had) and it's been refreshing not have to see old acquaintances I never really cared for. Not comparing my life to others. Not having to see everyone else's opinions. Not having to watch human beings getting devided. 100%
Ironically, my whole life people have been telling me I'm a loser and that I'm a slacker and lazy and I've spent my time being stressed out about proving them wrong. But recently I've realized that they're right and that's just me and I accept that about myself. I've been talking about the things in this video a lot lately and it's a huge coincidence that your putting it out now
Ive had similar problems. Don't let those people get in your head, assert that you aren't lazy but over-stressed, even if they don't get it. If you're like me, you experience psychological distress that paralyzes you, which is much more excusable than laziness or apathy
@@hannahpickles4825 I mean, I rock climb and hike. I just don't like work. But obviously I do work so I can afford certain things. Only, I work as little as possible. I'm a bear minimum guy. I own very little on purpose. I genuinely don't care about material gain or traditional definitions of success and achievement. I do get stressed and end up with decision paralysis often and get overwhelmed with stimulus around me, but more often than not, I just feel like The Dude, desperately trying to keep it easy and constantly getting drawn into situations where that's difficult. So by all conventional standards I actually am a slacker and a bum, but it's because I think all of the garbage people chase is a bunch of bs. At least it's not for me.
Charles, I think that you're doing things right my friend. The mainstream is all about mass consumption and Consumerism - to the detriment of our planet. I'd much rather go for a long walk with my dog than be seen eating in an expensive restaurant, wearing fashionable clothes, driving a gas guzzling car. :)
@@charlesbetz9475 I get decision paralysis to the point where I am directionless in life, dropped out, no discipline, and going nowhere in life. I figure if I had just joined the military at 18, I would at least be making money to contribute to my family, have money for hobbies and all the experiences that came with going through the military. Now at a depressingly loser age of 24 having done nothing it's demoralizing. But I realize on the bright side, if I joined the military without a mature mindset, I would have probably gotten kicked out for doing something stupid due to my mental immaturity/emotional intelligence. I learned not being mentally prepared is a recipe for disaster which is what makes life so hard since we always need to be mentally improving or else it can go downhill without a healthy mentality. Without these types of emotional intelligence, mental health, philosophy, self improvement videos, I would probably be a mindless rat in the rat race. Hate suffering without knowing how to make the situation better. I deviated from this conversation probably, but I wanted to say that I guess prefer trying something I might like versus dreading something I have no direction in since I didn't actively critically think about my life back then.
Yeah Ive kinda had the same realization recently. Except for me it was “Im not the main character here” and so it kinda helped me just to roll with the punches
Self-helps made me push myself even harder while already being too hard on myself. This channel convinced I should just let go more, surrender to the present moment and to not feel bad about feeling bad. This channel is the real self-help we actually need.
Too much self help can certainly be detrimental. I can go from feeling content to feeling bad about myself in the space of a 10min video, which is just another person's opinion. You can only do your best with the tools you have at that particular time.
Same. I have never been in a such a dark place in my life and I think I just have to close myself off for a while and just be me and start to like myself again and learn that I will be ok in the end even if I end up alone.
I enjoy, "A new commandment I give you. Love one another as you have loved me. Do this to show that you are my disciples." - John 13:34. This is proof that most humans are evil. Very few people even acknowledge this commandment, yet claim to be some sort of Abrahamic religion. This shows hypocracy. Though, I love no one, it is because I know no one. But, there are millions that know many and they do not love the person they have known for many years. I just assume not know anybody.
@@marklimbrick The things I can not have, I do not thing about them. It is likely I am in the extreme minority when it comes to this. I am simply not ambitious nor an envious person. Only when I have means to aquire something do I think about something I do not have. If someone else has something I do not have, I do not care. This may be part of why I have happily had the same vehicle and for 26 years, and home for 18 years.
Child-exploiter-Breediot 'logic', 'morality', 'ethics' 101: - NPC-normies who want kids be like: The world is a horrible, disgusting, oppressive place! - Also, NPC-normies who want kids be like: I hope to force at least 7- 20 kids (against their will, without their permission/consent) one day into this horrible/disgusting/oppressive place! - I am like: soooo you choose to impose exploitation from all points of views, suffering and death on innocent sentient beings?! Your lack of empathy is horrifying and astonishing at the same time. Religious nutcases’ ‘logic’: "Everyone is born a sinner " "Sin is what causes us to suffer" "Let's be fruitful & multiply to create countless suffering sinners" Humans are born with sin. Sin is bad. Is it a good thing to create more sin through breeding like animals? It's just funny how anyone needs a license to drive and a license to do pretty much anything, BUT not for forcing innocent beings into this existence of exploitation, suffering and death. If an unborn soul existed and if it could take a look at the world beforehand, it would never choose to come into existence. Breediots are death factories. Breediots are needy, codependent, narcissistic, psychopaths. They lack logic, compassion & empathy. They know breeding is the easiest way to have a codependent, narcissistic supply! Breeditos lie to their kids, for example they do not tell them they were used as a life insurance and or because of laziness because their mom didn't want to work at stay at home. She literally made a human sacrifice (you) 4 that. It's scary and wild. Let's analyze or translate what doctors say about people with "depression": they are basically saying that, the brain, does not produce enough happy drugs to make people think that this place is a walk in the park or some kind of paradise therefore, they need to give you drugs so that you too think this is something magical . in other words, you need to be drugged to want to be here. Every pot head and druggie/alcoholic that I know is adamant about themselves breeding. Even though they need drugs to be able to cope with life, they insist on FORCING their own spawn into existence knowing their spawn will also have to be on drugs to be able to cope with life. Misery loves company. they insist on creating suffering spawn pawns to keep them company in their own misery. That is The Epitome of Selfishness/narcissism/immorality/sadism/being unethical/being irresponsible/being diabolical. Somebody once said "if you aren't happy with being alive you're probably depressed" Then I realized they were taking pillz for depression and anxiety....like how dare you? Do your children a favor - DO NOT HAVE ANY !!! Yeah my non existent children will never have to wake up early for school, never worry: about failing a class, about being bullied, about how they will pay for college, about taking ridiculous classes in college that have nothing to do with their major, about competing for a job, or trying to impress some pompous asshole on a job interview, never have to sit in traffic to go to a job they hate, never have to worry about inflation, about health issues and DEATH! LIFE IS BEING SHAT OUT OF A STINKING CUNT INTO A LONG MEANINGLESS ESCALATING SUFFERING THAT ENDS IN DEATH... AND I WOULD NOT WISH THAT ON MY WORST ENEMY… Nobody asked to be here and be bullied in school and have to be a slave and be exploited from all points of views for the rest of my life and DIE in the end... ALL TOTALLY POINTLESS, for no reason. I wish mercy on poor souls forced here by sadist, child hating, with no constructive purpose/hobbies, low IQ, lonely, bored to death, narcissistic, selfish, immoral, unethical, irrational, illogical, control freak, megalomaniacal, power tripping, virtue signalling, suffering with god complex breediots/child exploiter-NPCs. Once you purposely become a unconscious breediot-child-exploiter, i.e. a biological parent, you are saying to the world that you are ready for every terrible thing that will happen to the innocent souls you forced into this dimension (without their consent/permission, against their will), and you as a breediot shouldn't complain about anything! Just b/c you found a way to make it doesn’t mean the next one will. If you love children, don’t FORCE them here, especially without their consent/permission. I would never bring one into this insane asylum! I have far too much empathy to ever do that to a child! IF i ever really wanted a kid i would adopt one! A child that is already forced here and stuck here and needs a home! Pretty ironic how "loving" breediots get so violent about violently bringing/raping others into a violent world. I'm always expecting violent outbursts from the breediot crowd. These triggered individuals are the same ones that are okay with the prospect of inevitable harm to those they claim to want to protect, so of course they wouldn't flinch at the idea of harming someone that challenges their narcissistic point of view. The gov changing their tax laws regarding breeders vs non-breeders to Stop robbing the non-breeders to give breeders free rents, will cause more people to choose to not breed more than any other Preventionist activity, but the gov won’t listen to only one person complaining about this. We need to approach the gov as a Big Tribe to get them to change these tax laws. The precious cargo the school-busses carry will be future wage slaves, and most of them will repeat their breediot parent's mistake of breeding more victims and perpetrators. Procreation should be illegal & everyone should be involuntarily sterilized! No one should have the ability to inflict serious, preventable harms upon others without their consent by creating a life. More broadly, no one has the moral right to take action on someone else’s behalf without their consent, except when the action is taken to prevent an even greater harm. Reproductive rights my ass. Procreation is murder. Literally a death sentence. You don’t want everyone to have homicidal rights, do you? Preventionists love children enough not to bring them into this world of life-long exploitation, slavery, suffering, death and eternal torture in hell. Life is not a gift, life is just a sick game so this sick bastard called "god" can abuse us.
@@incorectulpolitic That is why it takes a very selfish person to force their own child to exist in this Hellhole of a planet full of hate, oppression, lies, deceit, and betrayal. Very little consideration to what the child will inherit is given by all that force a child to exist here. It is the ultimate form of cruel selfishness to force a child to be born here, exist here, then die here.
Glad to hear but I think the video was more about the way we value the material world as a part of ourselves and others when it isn't. Whether or not you get a job really shouldn't have so much power to determine your value to the degree that it makes or breaks your ability to be happy.
@@thornanalysis I was just making the point that I had to be a loser, accept losses, to reach my goal. That’s all. Don’t read too far into it, seriously!
after many job rejections...I started up a humble service business working for myself. That was 5 years ago..and I have job security and noone can fire me or change my hours or tell me when to eat my lunch. So, fuck em.
@@user-dq2ym1nn9k Great way to escape the toxic work environments of politics, rigid social cliques, backstabbing, lying, slandering, and gossip mongering semi-retarded coworkers and incompetent bosses. Moving in that direction myself. One of the worst prisons one can be in is the prison of a toxic job.
my dad used to say “we need ditch diggers too” when i would talk about not wanting to go to college i honestly never saw it as an insult like he meant it to be.
Its amazing how the most content ppl I have known are "menials" , yet those who I met at University have gone on to earn lots of money mostly and seem disingenuous at best, false at worst. No one can wear a mask indefinitely. We define success wrongly imo. Ive gone from eating beans to making lots of money, then back to eating beans, then back to making money. I think Stoicism is accepting the vagaries of fate without destroying yourself over it.
damn totally was living by this when i decided to just live in my truck for awhile. alot of ppl i knew worried and probably thought i was a loser too because i was homeless but the amount i learned and character building that came with it was priceless
The 'Golden Rule'.. NEVER, EVER, tell anyone what you are doing. I now equate life to a 'Village of the Dammed' type existence, where unemotional children grow at an abnormally fast rate, then come after you. Today's 'society' is a product. The 'product' is confused and often hostile. If it see's an opening for relief, it will take it. At your expense. So, I avoid the '1984' crap at all costs.
"The meaning of life is just to be alive. It is so plain and so obvious and so simple. And yet, everybody rushes around in a great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond themselves." ~Alan Watts
I reject Alan Watts, not because I think he sucks, but because I think he is limiting. To me, he is to philosophy what Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, or Michael Bublé is to music. It's technically good philosophy, and makes sense when you listen to it, and is generally agreeable. But I find myself wanting to listen to something else as a palette cleanser afterwards. Dare I say, I'd rather listen to Jordan Peterson just so I could disagree the whole time while I listen. I need to hear some conflict or edge, otherwise it just doesn't sound like good philosophy to me, no matter how good it is technically. But I'll eventually find myself listening to Alan Watts again, and agree with what he says here and there yet again.
@@Molecular-Brainwaves-Translate You might like Kierkegaard then! He named things I'd never realized others thought about: trying to ground my life in some kind of rubric or "stand" on life. But he introduced great conflict into me as well, and he's too Christian for me. The appendix of Dreyfus's Being in the World has stuff on Kierkegaard and easy to read. It was life changing. Have a good one :))
"We never failed to fail, it was the easiest thing to do." I on the other hand have had to work hard at it but it has paid off pretty well, now as untroubled as I was once quite troubled indeed...
@@LearningNew365 Don't let the equipments be more important than your imaginatition or creat power. Your parents is just worried with your future, go ahead and make some videos, creat, dare.
Some battles are worth losing :’) I’m actually beginning to love myself. The fact that I can be satisfied with simple things, and don’t desire the material possessions or status a lot of others do doesn’t make me a failure. I’m content with my own goals in life. Thank you for this video 🙏🏾
After you die, nobody cares about you, no one will know you, what you did in your life, embarassing things you did will just disappear. You think random Old bloke that died in the 1960s still be remembered in his community to this day? Life is too short, live your life, dont care what other people think about you, experience the world, life is too damn short.
Rather than losing the battle, think of it as avoiding a battle that you would lose and cannot win. Avoiding a loss is not the same as losing. All the best.
While watching this I can’t help but think that this is the philosophy of The Dude from The Big Lebowski. He’s a lazy unemployed stoner so most people think he’s a loser, but he doesn’t care what other people think of him, he’s truly happy with himself and his lifestyle
Took me years after graduating highschool to overcome the awful, and poisonous ideologies that were instilled in my growing mind. Even worse, I was brought up in a viscuously toxic environment of: “you don’t go to college, you’re life is meaningless and you will suffer and be unhappy forever.” It wasn’t until I was 26 years old to realize everybody that was on my case would never lift a finger to help me, but I always had words to say about what I should do. Living your own life, if you’re not hurting anybody else, is the way to do it. Five years later, I’m actually quite successful, and I’m very happy. And nobody else that I grew up with appreciates it or is proud of me because they’re upset about it. Which is ironic in backwards minded. Unfortunately, that’s the way people are we’re not all born into positive and uplifting life circumstances.
I know this rabble gaslighting so well. It is a form of war against the practiced challenge of their world view. They want to convert others to their suppressed/managed misery so that they are not pained by having it contrasted. - They operate on fear, thus energy saving, thus it is natural that they want others to change but offer no energy for it. The whole thing is like a cult promoting suicide but disciples not setting an example because they want to keep promoting it. It's a form of vampirism.
Not quite yet. Im already at peace with myself, but there are these stalkers who can also hack me, keep bothering me. And before I knew their existence, theyve been approaching and be close to all of my circle, and all of my circle including my parents approve them but as to me, i do not know them, and them are strangers and everything is weird and not comfortable. And to make it worst, they accused me a lot of bad things to cover up their weird actions on me. they gave me triple qudraple problems. i dont know what to do now
I'm soon going to lose my job due to a chronic disease that has been getting worse over time. I was pretty depressed with this outcome since my job is just unsustainable for me from now on. But then I got reminded here and in other videos, that health and wealth are not in my control. This liberates me for some reason. I had massive guilt for this but now I'm feeling OK. Sure I still have depression from this, but it's gotten a lot better from this re-realisation. Thank you!
I’m kinda in your shoes. I retired in October ‘23 at 60 years old because of military service-related injuries. My own condition is also deteriorating and the list of things that I can’t/shouldn’t do is slowly getting longer. In the midst of this I really found freedom. I no longer have to conform or compete…never did, really. I hope that your own condition isn’t so severe that you can’t fully enjoy deciding what your “next act” in life will be. We might not be able to do what we used to, but there’s still some good stuff ahead for you. Really!
@@tonyjones1560 Do you have any friends/family to hang out with? VR/gaming might be a nice way to stimulate yourself if you can't do certain physical activities. I play a lot of chess in my free time, it's pretty awesome
Yep, for example being unemployed and living with parents when you're 45yo. No need to work and be a modern slave + free everything from parents $ = true happiness. /s
This whole video reminds me of some superb quotes: "I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity” -Albert Einstein "A person can only really be themselves so long as they're alone" - Arthur Schopenhauer. "Don't let people walk through your mind with dirty feet" - Gandhi. That latter one is more to do with influence. However... often, the more time you spend alone in your own thoughts - as long as they're not negative ones - the more you learn to decide which influences you allow in. If you ever find it uncomfortable to be alone in your own thoughts, you're in the wrong "frame" of mind 😜
This is a really good video that I can relate to. I don't live beyond my means. I have zero debt. I'm perfectly happy with what I do have, and I still have the ability to enjoy the same sort of lifestyle as my peers, who tend to stress over the burdens of their "success". Which is something that I struggle with relating to. I have a few friends who are what society would consider to be really "well off", in contrast to what my standard of living could be compared to. And most of them have quietly confided to me that they wish they could live the simple and minimalist lifestyle that I prefer. I always consider that to be an extremely high compliment. And I'm not judged by any of them as "lesser" or in need of support. Quite to the contrary, I've apparently chosen my "loser" path appropriately. My outlook on life has always been _why stress over things that you can avoid when they're really just extra burdens that you don't have any logical reason to pursue._
@@jebajaj3704 haha, couldn’t be more wrong there bud. If you believe you are, or you believe you aren’t a loser, you are right! The only person that can actually genuinely claim someone to be a loser, would be that person themselves, it is that persons perception that is going to dictate what kind of future they will experience. So there really isn’t actually any way that anyone could hope to “one-up” anyone with it somehow..? Hahahaha Nice try though..👏
@@SyrusTheCreation fuck yeah!! Perfect!! You got anything planned or just gonna fly by the seat of your pants? Im almost mortgage free and il have absolutely nothing trying me to this city anymore other than family etc, but I’ve lived in this city all my life, it’s time to push my comfort zone a little and see what’s out there in the world!!
When I first began my journey as a loner and when I first began learning and applying these types of philosophy,I didn't know how it could be possible for one to be able,let alone content with such a lifestyle. But after awhile I really started to appreciate the little things and finding such great peace and relief after becoming indifferent and even despising the things I once held extremely valuable (things that society and the world at large value). Occasionally,I will feel the pain of loneliness and poverty when I am exposed to the braggings of others who have all that I don't posses. But I reassure myself that though I have nothing,and will die with nothing/no one,at least I achieved something that few others ever will:Peace of mind.
I know how you feel. It's absolutely alright to be whichever lonely way we find the most bliss. Don't let anyone bombard you with their personal insecurities. ✊🏻😊
@@lj7169 "No man is an island", he's still human, still wants to talk/associate with people once in a while. We're hard-wired as human beings to seek out meaningful social relationships, even hardcore introverts don't want to be alone all the time, which is why isolation in prison is reserved for the worst prisoners.
@@yellowblanka6058 plenty of people that own homes and aren’t dirt poor have peace of mind. You won’t have it when you get cancer and end up homeless at fifty. Trust me.
The funny thing is... This reasoning resembles introvert vs. extrovert. It's much easier for an introvert to go with this philosophy than the one of an extrovert. In the end, that's what it boils down to, and the polarity of the comment section is proof in itself. Extroverts are in constant need of stimulation by others and demand proof of existence from others, while introverts are bothered by stimulation from others and can find it within themselves by simply existing.
After being diagnosed with severe mental illness I had to change the way I live. Turns out I've been living the right way since. I feel happy and content right here and now, if I'm a loser then I'll simply let it be. Each to there own 👍
I've always been an outsider, a loner, I don't have friends, I'm not in social media, though I'd always noticed that I didn't need any of those things to feel fine with myself, it gave more time to study, read, improve my life. Few years ago I found out why I was so comfortable being a loner, an outsider, it's because I'm a schizoid, in fact a covert schizoid
have you had periods of being overly social? or "trying on" social roles/things you wouldn't usually do? i'm similar to you but never really saw it as a problem once i got out of my teenage years and got less anxiety-filled :P
English isn't my native language, so I'll try to be clear. I've never been shy, though when I was a teen I was distant, aloof but not exactly a loner. In my early 20s, when people tried to interact with me, I used to be outspoken, that was what made a me loner because people started to dislike my strong opinions about several things, opinions that were out of the herd, it was very difficult for normies to accept my unpopular truths, young normies of my age and older normies. So I think society made me a marginal, I made them marginal too. Nowadays I talk to people when they have something that have value for me, it could be a book, even money. I can be charming (wearing my "mask") to get want I want, once I get it, I walk away and the person never sees me again. I don't allow people to get in my private space, I get very uncomfortable if they try to get too closer and jump over the invisible wall I've built between me and society. That gives me some spychopatic traits as well
@@thehousethatjackbuilt3422 that is cool man, thanks for the thorough response. I can completely relate to that, i take alot of social interactions with a practical approach too - with certain people i dont feel thr need for this at all though, but those people are rare and even then i need my space haha. Personally smoking a certain plant has helped me 'deal' with alot of these things, and try to make them a constructive part of who i am rather than something uncomfortable/draining. Its a work in progress haha :D alot of these traits come with big practical advtantages even even though it can be emotionally draining. I guess what im trying to say is ur not alone and keep up the good fight :D
@@genesises The best way to practice your interaction (your mask) is trying to talk to people who are above you economically or intellectually and try to make them feel affinity with you, even if you don't get it often. And the most important, you have to read a lot, all kind of books and the best writers, mainly Dostoevski, you'll find in their novels characters who are walking around you in the streets, in the real world
@@thehousethatjackbuilt3422 i unapologetically just do what feels natural to me instead, and try to be patient with people/situations i dont like. i see the value in what you say but i don't find it is for me unless it's a competative environment that's in question. for sure there is alot to learn from and grow with this nonetheless! as for the "character" thing, i do this subconsciously with everyone i meet already :D then i have to actively make sure i don't stereotype or assume too much though as that'd make me kind of an asshole haha
Funny enough it is also written in the Bible: "The first will be the last, and the last ones will be the first ones" (dunno the English quote exactly tho)
There's a saying in kannada language, " Sometimes victory comes in the form of defeat..." Now i realised what this proverb meant..♥️ Original proverb is as follows "ಕೆಲವೊಮ್ಮೆ ಗೆಲುವು ಸೋಲಿನ ರೂಪದಲ್ಲಿ ಬರುತ್ತದೆ"
Not caring what other people think is one of the greatest achievements in life. Compared to today's standards I am a loser. I'm happy just to exist. I have no hobbies and I'm not an expert in anything although I am good at many things. Simply observing, and indulging in simple things brings me great pleasure.
Just curious, are you really happy? Or deep down at night do you feel a little bit sad? I’m genuinely curious, been looking into this topic and am interested in people’s thoughts.
@@baldsportsfan9368 I'll give you my perspective. I'm 24 in a few months, been diagnosed with schizophrenia and have been a loser ever since I was 16. Ever since I was 16 I have mostly just played video games while having dishwashing jobs for about a year and a bit on and off in total, otherwise I would get money through the government welfare. There would be periods where I would work out or try to play guitar, but that wouldn't last. The funny thing is though, is that now that I've completely embraced being a loser, by only eating junk food and watching RU-vid I have felt more confident than ever (at least I am putting myself out there more than ever than before), felt more security in myself, and care about what people think about me less than ever before. I am talking about when I am in social situations. Another thing that I've noticed is that my singing voice and guitar playing is better than it's ever been. Now, I'm not saying being a loser has anything to do with the improvements I've noticed. However, I am saying doing what you want to do in the present moment, doing what you feel like doing, doing what's easy, what's instinctive, intuitive, what feels right, and trusting your heart are all helpful strategies. And for me, doing all of those things at the moment lead me to doing very "loser" things. Up until about 11 weeks ago I felt lost and insecure for about 3 and a half years (probably the worst years of my life), and I put that down to not trusting my heart completely. Just to add on top of all that, I'm only purposefully being a loser and trusting my heart completely because I feel it helps with girls/guys and my ability to have a successful career in the future. If it weren't for those two things and I felt the best way to get girls/guys and have a successful career was to do the typical thing society preaches (work hard etc.) I would probably be doing that.
@@baldsportsfan9368 I’m happy. I have hobbies, though. Drawing, painting, writing poetry, and I play four instruments. I work at a body shop with my family fixing cars. I’m extremely minimalist and spend as little time as possible working and as much time as possible playing.
I’ve gotten to a point in my life where I’ve decided to forgive myself for all my shortcomings and failures in life and have instead decided to only be hard on myself if and when I’m actively being a negative influence on other people and/or if I’m making zero effort at all for self-improvement. This video has solidified my certainty that that decision of my attitude adjustment towards myself was the correct one to make.
I was a loser as a kid. As an adult I have not been a loser at all and I’m actually doing way better than most people I tried to make friends but I found almost 100% of people to be draining. Heraclitus said it best when he said “people are forever missing the point.” I prefer to be alone and I don’t talk to anyone outside of work. I’m a total social recluse. It’s amazing
The thing is as an adult if you're down you lose everyone. You're totally left alone with nothing and nobody. You never know this growing until it happens to you. This is what makes it hard.
I love not being around other people Only time i feel negative is when im around other people I avoid them as much as possible an my life has never been smoother
Yes, there is a degree of romanticizing loserdom-'independence' that is in denial of how much 'modern' society is still a survival game with laws of the jungle. The thick bullshit coating is a war strategy. We are never truly independent, because everything is interconnected, and without anyone doing anything to your benefit, you would perish. Eastern spiritual practices can get corrupted especially in the West and then become a praise of individual strength, and then practitioners will preach to everybody to cultivate self-empowerment and might cripple their empathy and thus ability to selflessly help someone with something they cannot do for themselves.
Being uncool is the most freeing thing I've ever done. I remember being in high school and trying to dress like everyone else, and realizing pretty quickly that their version of style was expensive, uncomfortable and almost impossible to maintain. By my 3rd year, I just said fuck it and wore whatever I wanted and felt comfortable in, and that got me more attention (some of it negative) than dressing in the latest fashion. But by that point, it didn't matter to me because I was finally able to just be myself. Having no desire to be other people's idea of cool/attractive/stylish saved my life. I watched friends of mine ruin their happiness pursuing a fleeting idea of cool, and it terrified me to end up like that. You shouldn't have to experience any outside pressure to be anyone but yourself.
I agree to a certain extent with this video and with your comment about how it'd be nice if we didn't have any outside pressure. However, rejecting all outside pressure isn't good and here's why. We are only able to grow and sustain ourselves because other people have made it possible for us to live the way we do. By virtue of being part of a family or part of a society, at minimum we owe not being a net negative on others. People who are net negatives are noticed and taken out.
@@raymcmahan5080 funny you mentioned being a "net negative" as if not caring about what others think amounts to being a criminal. Only criminals bring "net negative" value to society and funnily enough, all criminals do crimes because of external, unsatisfied pleasures. Also, a "loser" is just a subjective term. There are millions of people who have different version of s good life tha what is generally accepted. For example,a good life for me is one where I am alone and playing songs with my doberman by my side. Some people would call me a "loser" since I don't have a wife and kids but there are millions who live this lifestyle. In short, being a net negative is only possible if someone is a criminal and being a criminal is impossible if you are at inner peace. Also, I don't owe anything to "society" just like how society doesn't owe anything to me
@@kartikeyatiwari2502 some people are a net because they decide to have a family when society would be better off if instead they did something they're good at, pay their taxes, and don't add new humans. I'm coming to terms with this. Ultimately it's not better or worse, a lot of people wish they hadn't been encouraged to have a family.
@@raymcmahan5080 they had a family for themselves, not for society. Also, you DO NOT owe society anything. Literally everything give to you is for a cost. The society is not doing you a favor by providing you electricity, roads, transport etc... you are paying for every single thing. You don't owe your parents anything either since it's their decision to bring you to the world and you had no say in it. Also, the issue with your logic is that the term "society" is different for different people. For example in my society people are expected to live with and care for their parents well into their adulthood while in USA anyone living with their parents are frowned upon. For more destructive examples, in many middle eastern societies you are a net negative if you are doing nothing to advance their religion and many are killed for being an atheist. Point is, values are subjective and thats why anything which society perceives as "normal" is subjective.
@@raymcmahan5080 I understand where you're coming from. I'm an antinatalist too. I also agree with Kartikeya because she's right in that society owes us nothing and we owe society nothing. I think for the most part you guys are on the same page.
The problem with being a loser, is that you can lose out on even basic necessities. I have never expected to be rich, very attractive, or famous...I just want to be safe, and have a love life.
Safety is a myth. It does not exist or occur in this reality. In reality, there is only risk. You can minimize risk, but you can never completely eliminate it. No one can control the universe, and the universe, by its nature, is inherently dangerous and risky to human health and life.
Jeez for a guy who’s working full time, making $18 an hour with benefits, licensed and has my own car which I can legally drive, about to have my own place.. does that really make me a loser?
If you can visualize yourself happy being homeless but still got 3 meals a day and weren't cold and had a dry place to sleep, then you are golden and just have to apply that mindset to your daily life.
I mean I don't think its good though. Because like its just means that something wrong with human. I am as 22 yo guy know that our world fucked up and me too i have psycho disorders, depression, apathy, i am narcissist so i am arrogant and irresponsible as my both parents though. And i know that if i am not gonna do something in future i am will have sucks life and its all because my parents and environment but i have to do something with my fucked up head now because it is what it is. And i wish once human gonna be most valuable resource but for that need many to sacrifice i guess
You aren't homeless if you're at home in your own peace. Personally, I'd love to roam the earth. Learn firsthand the beauty that is outside what I've traveled before.
It’s not about being happy though. You have a responsibility to provide what you can to the community and the people around you. Whether that’s doing blue collar work or making six figures. Don’t live a selfish existence.
