Best HFY Greentext Stories: Human Tenacity (r/HFY + /tg/)

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Опубликовано:

28 окт 2024

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Комментарии : 167

@NetNarrator 3 года назад

Going back to a 12h schedule starting tomorrow morning! Gotta get that content up!

@mutehowl 3 года назад

Ahh another good one for my shfy playlist.

@willparry530 3 года назад

@@mutehowl what does the 's' stand for?

@DimitriKurkov 3 года назад

There are no problems that cannot be solved with the copious and liberal application of high explosives.

@elijahaitaok8624 3 года назад

Or throwing more than enough rocks fast enough

@bulldowozer5858 3 года назад

"[...] proving, once again, that genocide is a viable solution to any problem..." -Fallout 2

@carlfranz6805 3 года назад

Close air support coverith a myriad of sins.

@carlfranz6805 3 года назад

There is no overkill, there is only open fire and cover me as I reload.

@Gow-13510 Год назад

How human deal with problems 101 Is this amount of dakka enough to stop the problems? No? Then it not enough dakka yet we need more!

@bogustoast22none25 3 года назад

“We have your home world” “Congrats. Enjoy the 5 seconds you’ll have with it”

@vampyr2936 3 года назад

If it's one thing humans love, it's seeing an underdog win. If there is anything they excel at, it's being that underdog.

@johnjohnjohnson7720 3 года назад

Its a vamp pyre

@thehatter9400 3 года назад

"you want us to surrender? first survive this nuke i placed in my home we are in, i locked the doors by the way!"

@donanthebarbarian5177 3 года назад

Oh and my extended family escaped already to carry on my legacy.

@craftysmithkeith3653 3 года назад

“You’ve activated my trap card! Go planet sized nuke, tear them a new hole!”

@gabrielc7861 2 года назад

@@craftysmithkeith3653 Don't you just love it when you turn exactly half of the earth's mass into antimatter?

@marxel4444 Год назад

How to tell someone to fuck off? To the German Commander. NUTS! The American Commander. Battle of Bastone

@Sho_veL Год назад

⁠@@gabrielc7861well I do, it’s funny!

@Lord_Lasagña 3 года назад

Aliens *looks down on humanity* pfft~ Humanity: you'll regret that.

@fallenmorningstar9224 3 года назад

Never underestimate the jack of all trade. While he wont ever be at the top of anything, he will always be useful in any situation. And for humans, while others achieve their goal and stop there. We find more and more difficult goals just for the sake of it. Because being stagnant and complacent is worse, it extinguishes true purpose and the desire for advancement to become even greater.

@prussiankingdom1693 3 года назад

Hubris being backing up claims you cannot hold. Humans will never have hubris based of lacking will

@timothyswanson8773 3 года назад

Jack of all trades, master of none, but better then a master of one.

@paulhuston9991 3 года назад

Yep we have eaten whales nearly extinct simply because some asshole said "wounder how that big dangerous fucker tastes?"

@paulhuston9991 3 года назад

Also, don't tempt me, I just might do it because I can't shit in your pool.

@Zael_Moonblade Год назад

How did Mordin put it... Without advancement, stagnation, With stagnation, no culture, Without culture, Death.

@lukkaredwolf3534 3 года назад

"Hold the Line"

@lukkaredwolf3534 3 года назад

The planet broke before humanity did.

@ironworksdragon6843 3 года назад

Hoorah

@potatomajestic2648 3 года назад

@@lukkaredwolf3534 even in death we still serve.

@AgessiaNyxera 3 года назад

@@lukkaredwolf3534 damn straight

@johannesstephanusroos4969 3 года назад

"Love isn't always on time"

@chinangel 3 года назад

There are two traits above all that define humanity as a whole: tenacity, and spite.

@backwardsman8887 3 года назад

I'm big on spite, (NRL) I've chased down and tackled my more than my fair share of players who're in the try line heading for an easy conversion between the posts.

@dantreadwell7421 3 года назад

@@backwardsman8887 gotta love Rugby

@backwardsman8887 3 года назад

@@dantreadwell7421 Yeah, I'm super antisocial so this gave me a way to connect with people my age, determination and anger issues kinda makes you invincible, until a few hours after the match. My knees are average now though, broke my right little finger in two places, cracked five ribs, joints click etc. I was luck after playing my whole life. Not sure if I'll let my son play it though, I know and played with guys who can't lift their arms to shoulder height anymore. Made some great memories and lifelong injuries, when you know pain, you fear it less and less.

@D.Holliday112 3 года назад

We held the line. The other races retreated, not even bothering to put up even token resistance against the advancing enemy horde fleets. We low and weak humans dug in and died in droves. Our ships fired until torn to shreds. Our armies fought beyond the last bullet and energy charge, even resorting to hand-to-claw fighting. We used every resource at our disposal to slow down the advance of the enemy, our families behind the line going without, and in some cases, starving. Still, we kept fighting. We fought alone against the encroaching darkness. The other races content to live in excess while we starved. Content to go extinct without a fight, to be forgotten as another extinct race. We were not. Even if we were to die, we would make them remember us. We held the line, alone. We fought, alone. We died fighting, alone... and in the end, we sacrificed our home world, Earth, for a chance to wipe out the enemy in a desperate gamble that had very little to no chance of success. Our gamble payed off. Now, the cowards that left us to fight alone shall get what they deserve. Nothing.

@black-rose-thorn 3 года назад

👏👏👏

@Darkinu2 Год назад

👏👏👏👍 They got what they put in: Bugger-all!!

@baronvonkaiser9912 3 года назад

humans: DEATH BEFOR DISHONOR also humans: lmao yeet death star go brrrrrr

@akriegguardsman 3 года назад

Also human low level inquisitors : hahaha exterminatus go wooooshhhhhh

@steelcrowjpc 3 года назад

That line, “they carved their niche, they were a Phoenix, something with endurance beyond what we anticipated” just amazing

@whtwolf100 3 года назад

A human looks into the face of god. Only three words are spoken. "I created you" But Who spoke them

@keona5560 2 года назад

Damn, this hit

@thecollector8802 3 года назад

“Humans were the laughing stock of the universe . . . Once.”

@1rotzy 3 года назад

Aliens: Surrender Also Aliens: Why do we hear boss music?

@dantreadwell7421 3 года назад

More along the lines of laughter, of varying kinds, I should think.

@shimmyking4 3 года назад

You might think you're a mad lad. But you ain't "blow up the earth to kill the enemy" levels of mad lad

@Nomadic_Inquisitor 2 года назад

"Trust me, you ain't that guy pal." xD

@DavidJoh 3 года назад

There's a certain degree of irony in "While other races showed how much better they'd be than yet to be discovered lifeforms" when doing that is HFY's jam in the first place.

@mithrawnudo2152 3 года назад

I was halfway hoping the only response Humanity gave to the ultimatum to be "Nuts" and watch the rest of the universe attempt to puzzle out wtf that meant.

@captiancholera8459 2 года назад

The funniest part, is if you’re familiar with the background of the whole Germans demanding surrender thing. When the German delegation asked what that meant. The American officer who was present responded “It means go to hell”

@ettibbet5493 2 года назад

I was hoping for either just a "No." Or "Molon Labe"

@TotallyDapper 2 года назад

Fun fact, at the time “nuts” was the American phonetic alphabet word for the letter N. So the Germans asked, “Surrender, y/n?” and the American response, “Nuts,” was them saying no, as well as them saying screw that.

@kingmasterlord 3 года назад

lay your arms down and join us as our servants we find your courage adequate. -for as long as we live, you bleed.

@KossolaxtheForesworn 3 года назад

the Emperor has declared mankind to be the most perfect form of life.

@jamesm783 3 года назад

The planet broke before humanity did

@ANTIMONcom 3 года назад

If brute force is not working, you are clearly not using enough of it

@donanthebarbarian5177 3 года назад

Hey we're not using brute force to solve our problems! Using brute force would've been using a nanobot grey goo weapon to take out every part of the universe not currently controlled by humans then having the grey goo gather itself and deactivate so we could rebuild the entirety of the universe as we deem fit post war. This was using a calculated explosion much like demolition experts using the bare minimum explosives to take down a building. We had a goal, eliminate the enemy, and we figured blowing up earth, the last known human planet, would be enough to achieve our goal so we did it.

@dummheit_gmbh9281 3 года назад

Cadia broke before the guard did!

@ivanelias3916 3 года назад

FOR THE EMPEROR BROTHER!!!

@vadfarkas14 3 года назад

The fact that finding this comment took me more than 2 seconds of scrolling down is Heresy. ~Thought for the day: Heresy has six letters. You are always six letters from damnation!

@danielawesome36 3 года назад

"I'd like to get one Fresh Original Content(OC) please." Kyle: "Here ya go." "Thanks, mate."

@culley8841 3 года назад

Everyone *laughs at humans. Humans "And I took that personally."

@Jamhael1 Год назад

Alien: "Surrender, Human! You are wounded, surrounded and alone! Why carry on fighting?" Human soldier: *look to the sky* "WITNESS ME!" *runs and then jumps towards Alien commander, carrying a nuclear bomb in its vest* Humans in the colonies, seeing the scene being transmitted: "WITNESSED! YOU GO TO VALHALLA!"

@youarenotmadenough655 3 года назад

"War, war never changes"

@johnjohnjohnson7720 3 года назад

Its fun

@eggrolltheillegal6201 3 года назад

And involves alot of bombs.

@Danieljfriend275 3 года назад

Man don't mess with humans and if you do be ready

@ApocryphalDude 3 года назад

Agent J: "Don't start nothing, won't be nothing!"

@SupCom78 3 года назад

great story again only sad thing that earth was blown up. and the morale of the story never ever mess with humans we can be your best friends or your worst nightmares,

@noppornwongrassamee8941 2 года назад

Given how preplanned it was, it wouldn't surprise me if humanity had moved every culturally significant relic off Earth long before the kaboom. Along with any excess civilian population of course. Aliens on both sides were likely so lazy and cocksure of themselves that they never even noticed.

@SupCom78 2 года назад

@@noppornwongrassamee8941 could be possible that is true and it would be not too surprising.

@doppelhelixes 3 года назад

if violence doesn't solve your problem, you aren't using enough violence!

@Michael-fd1gx 3 года назад

Unless the problem is being feared.

@doppelhelixes 3 года назад

@@Michael-fd1gx if they can fear you, you used way to less violence!

@donanthebarbarian5177 3 года назад

@@doppelhelixes exactly if they fear you you're doing it wrong... You must trample them so thoroughly that they Revere you or are no more

@paulhuston9991 3 года назад

The most fucked up part is I know I'm not the only one that would do that to earth just to win and make a point. I'm a damn American lol, its in my blood, I serve no master.

@HistoryNerd8765 2 года назад

I've never felt so proud to be human.

@willparry530 3 года назад

now that's what I call *scorched Earth*

@nickpossum3607 3 года назад

We may not be able to defend the Earth, but we are damn sure, We Will Avenge It!

@ettibbet5493 2 года назад

Definition of a Pyhrric victory

@kiaser21 Год назад

Summation: "We're not locked in here with all of you, you're all locked in here with us!"

@gildedbear5355 3 года назад

To quote an ancient earth philosopher: "don't start nothin', won't be nothin'" -J

@happy_amoeba 2 года назад

Bro, I feel like I'm about to unlock a new emotion or something!

@chaplaingilgamesh2964 Год назад

"For everyone one man who falls, ten more shall take his place!"

@panzermkii7675 3 года назад

Glory to Mankind!

@DeinocheirusWithAGun 3 года назад

This feels like game of thrones but it didn't shit there self

@friball8728 3 года назад

i imagine florida or some random state is now floating trough space

@Eldritch_TeddyBear 3 года назад

Australia just spinning in the vacuum of space

@friball8728 3 года назад

@@Eldritch_TeddyBear say m8 diein from lack of oxygen? just don't+ worry bout it i got it coverd m8 we still got like a tiney bit of it lad and sure our goverment is shit... we all know there gonna ruin everybody else's day after this just like those meeting sanctions of golbol warmin lad (M8 RAISE our polluteion levles at the start of the chart and we just do nothin bout it and get free coin while trying to use *THAT OUTDATED COIN* an' thean destroy itself as well)

@ApocryphalDude 3 года назад

Our hate makes us powerful

@dantreadwell7421 3 года назад

To quote General McAuliffe, 101 Airborne. "NUTS"

@frozenheartedgiant8330 3 года назад

To the German Commander NUTS!!! Signed, the American Commander.

@josharmstrong8813 3 года назад

I find it hilarious does an alien species thought they get out saturate bombardment the humans we will literally doing it when aircraft could barely be considered Flying Machines and one more on the lines of a complicated deathtrap waiting to happen so what things do they can do any better

@billrich9722 3 года назад

I'm a sucker for these.

@paulhuston9991 3 года назад

Fuck around and find out at your own risk good sir. I love laconic, I truly hope that is an exclusively human trait.

@hamsta11 Год назад

Enemy: Surrender and be our servants or we will blow you up! Humans: COME AT ME BRO! WE WILL BLOW ME UP FIRST! Enemy: wut? wait no-..

@Peter-rn5kl 3 года назад

Caught the Galaxy lacking

@gilmadreth680 3 года назад

Never push the Pink Skins to the thin ice.

@Zael_Moonblade Год назад

You will not like where it leads.

@caesar_cider2777 3 года назад

we really blew up our planet just to prove a point, huh

@fliperdipper7037 3 года назад

This. This is what happens When someone who simps the Death Korps of Krieg in charge of the galactic Militarum

@TairnKA Год назад

"The Three Words", were spoken and Earth was destroyed.

@christerry8531 Год назад

Just goes the show if you are not willing to fight for your own people do not expect those that fight for you to defend you

@mitchmaule6517 3 года назад

No. We find your courage lacking.

@ATSucks1 3 года назад

Tenacity indeed.

@nocount7517 3 года назад

This was awesome.

@Adiscretefirm Год назад

Keeping the Earth in scorched earth strategy

@bernardrednix756 3 года назад

humanity got the last laugh?

@Eldritch_TeddyBear 3 года назад

Yup

@lewistrundell 3 года назад

Loving this

@davidwebb4167 3 года назад

A...are we the baddies?

@eleventhprimarch5303 3 года назад

No David, we're just human.

@properfunny 3 года назад

I don’t think so. We just proved that fighting humanity was an insanely costly move. We wiped out half their forces by the time they got to Earth and we where willing to destroy our home world to stop our enemy. Then we looked at everyone else and called them out for not stepping up and going into hiding. We told them we where not amused and it told them that fighting humanity would be their last mistake.

@Caercutta30 3 года назад

Goodies, badees...we're the ones with the detonator.

@Belthazar1113 3 года назад

Aye, always have been. You get used to it.

@bubbykins4864 3 года назад

Goodies, baddies, it doesn't matter what you call us, for we are the ones who have the big red button. Victory or death! La victoire ou la mort! ¡Victoria o muerte! Pobeda ili smert'! Alnasr 'aw almawt! Shènglì huò sǐwáng! *Loktar ogar!*

@hanneskarlbom6644 3 года назад

jay-sun? anyone who understands that one?

@genericusername9639 3 года назад

Jason from Friday the 13th i think.

@hanneskarlbom6644 3 года назад

@@genericusername9639 If that's true it seems very random.

@MarkGast 3 года назад

Behold, the power of the Internet: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jason

@hanneskarlbom6644 3 года назад

@@MarkGast That seems a bit more aproprirt, thanks mate.

@Enneamorph 3 года назад

Jason Voorhees, a superhuman serial killer from the “Friday the 13th” series. (It’s not random, they were specifically talking about horror and monsters being horrible creatures that surpass human limits. Jason is one of those.)

@ronjoseph4131 3 года назад

LMFAO “MAD”

@VooshSpokesman Год назад

Love from a Vaush and HFY Fan!

@mivapusa 3 года назад

With enough DAKADAKADAKADAKA! you can overcome any xenos technology

@jackangel5283 3 года назад

First by miles, holy shit I haven’t been this early in a while

@Danieljfriend275 3 года назад

Nice man

@billrich9722 3 года назад

Neat. I'm sure somebody cares.

@TimTomTem 3 года назад

Who the fuck was in charge of humanity sombody with 1000+ in rust?

@jonnypena7651 Год назад

Sub part race? you just said that because you have been beat to a puddle.

@tzortzinis1 3 года назад

fuck yes narrator

@marxel4444 Год назад

Why is this like 300 but in space?! Sorry,i cant knee down because my back hurts so much from killing your soldiers all day long you see?..

@olivercane4018 3 года назад

This is cool and all, but why did they have to blow up Earth?! We aren't the only species on it!

@choboibigly6565 3 года назад

By then we could've had DNA replicating technology so it wouldn't matter

@zlyboby5317 3 года назад

well...to kill the aliens? Seemed kinde clear in the story

@olivercane4018 3 года назад

@@zlyboby5317 But what about the animals?! *Crying face emoji because i can't make emojis on the device i'm using*

@choboibigly6565 3 года назад

@@olivercane4018 I'll help you out 😭

@olivercane4018 3 года назад

@@choboibigly6565 Thanks

@polasamierwahsh421 3 года назад

cool

@Shadowolf1181 3 года назад

mumbled something about MAD... its a shame you really shoulda looked up that acronym it may have saved you much pain in the future

@akriegguardsman 3 года назад

What does it mean

@Shadowolf1181 3 года назад

@@akriegguardsman mutually assured destruction, TLDR for you may kill me but I'm taking you with me!

@jesseamaya4413 3 года назад

Oh yeah, and I think sole survivor/spoilsport is still an active plan as well.

@evanboll4651 Год назад

@@akriegguardsman Mutually Assured Destruction. It was coined during the Cold War due to NATO and the Soviet's both having Nukes.

@friball8728 3 года назад

AMARICA F*CK YEAHHHHH!

@DeuxExNoir Год назад

Each finger will tighten. Until bone breaks, until skin splinters, until muscle tears. Each hand will grip. Until arms burn, until mind throbs, until arteries burst. *And the so-called everlasting skin shall shatter. Admantime squeel, break. Throat, buckle then collapse.* *_And please of mercy, ignored. Not willfully as they had, but justifiably as we will._*