Best HFY Greentext Stories: Venusian Colonist (r/HFY + /tg/) 

"Telling humans that something is impossible just makes them whack the problem until a benefit pops out." It's amazing how much distance you can get out of sheer crackhead determination.

We found Space Dragons. Dragons. In space. Here there be literal dragons. IN SPACE! THEY ARE OURS! WE WILL LOVE THEM AND HUG THEM AND CALL THEM GEORGE!

I find this pretty accurate. If I saw a dragon and it didn't try to kill us, I would definitely be thinking "Woah, dragons! So cool!"

"Holy shit jesus christ a fucking dragon!" Humanity's first contact with their soon-to-be neighbors.

Human: So these guys fucked you over? Dragon: yep. Human: how do you wanna deal with it? Dragon: ... Human: ... Dragon: vengeance? Human: YEH, VENGEANCE! Dragon: VENGEANCE!!!

I'm glad the dragons got a good hand once they met the humans. That was so nice when they got venus.

I love that the alien dragons are telling humanity "No! No! Drop it! Don't destroy that society!"

Humans 40'000 BCE : *sees a literal apex predator killing machine (wolf)* "You're my friend now. We're having soft tacos later! :D " Humans 22XX CE : *Sees eldritch horror looking alien* "....You're my friend now. We're having soft tacos later ! :D "

Humans be like: Looks like we found ourselves a ship maintenance friend , capitalism intensifies

I was debating between dragon or demon before he knew what the word was the humans used to describe them.

humans> discovers dragons humans: can we keep them?

Now I want to see an HFY story where there’s another warlike race similar to humans whose reaction after humans enter the galactic community is a mix of “I’ve only known them for one day but if anything happens to them I’ll kill everyone in this room and then myself” and “Finally, a worthy opponent! Our battle will be legendary!” Just a story of two species which are kindred warlike spirits. Meanwhile the rest of the galaxy is like “this is getting out of hand. Now there are two of them.” If this other race are the Orcs of the universe then the humans are the Goblins.

Alien: Those are freaks of nature. Human: *Without breaking eye contact* Oi! Dragony boi, want a planet? Dragony boi: W-what? Alien: You wouldn’t. Human: *stare continues at alien, pulls out the deed* free to do what you want, short of throwing it at OUR planet. Dragon: *begins hyperventilating* Alien: You wouldn’t. Human: *eyes are getting red from unblinking* all we ask, if that you fix half our drives, and a couple of other things. Dragon: *sweats even though it literally cannot* Alien: What is wrong with you, human?! Human: *breaks eye contact, finds dotted line, puts pen down* Fuck you, that’s what. *signs*

I have been thinking about this exact idea! of dragons being an alien species i was gonna have them be like an apex predator on some planet and humanity trying everything to domesticate and bring their childhoods imaginary pet home.

The alliance broke after they found deviant art and war was declared when they found the Bad Dragon website.

That was a really detailed HFY. I hope there’s a sequel “Venusian economy” or “Venusian war” I’d certainly want to hear it.

This is the most adorable from rags to riches story in a good while keep it up

I'm now really wanting a meeting between a human, a bubbler, and a venusian dragon. Bubblers: from the video "water turns out to be the deadliest substance in the universe for creatures outside of our solar system." They look a little like squid and jellyfish and have a biology of hydrogen and sodium and have an operational temperature down in the very low kelvin's.

"We had the universe by the balls and it felt so GOOD" That killed me, but I mean there is no better vengace than getting the upper hand of your enemy and having something that you both that he NEEDS depseratly and he is therefore forced to accept any demands you give them he simply can't refuse because I juat like to imagine that once an Alien dimplomat insulted a Venusian and as a result the humans decide to charge him 20% extra for their terraforming and shiping services until they apologize. And remember we are talking about terraformation so 20% is a HUGE sume.

I like this version of humans. Not particularly gifted in anyone field but makes friends with others just because they can. to be friendly, and lucky, leading to a near unbreakable alliance. luck is critical in human progression, given how often everything could have ended poorly both in the past and in this universe.

rock dragons. sounds pretty dope.

edit: sorry, this is a myth I see repeated often. English longbowmen were deadly and feared, but the gesture is older than them. The middle finger insult comes from the numerous wars between the English and the French. English longbowmen were among the most deadly in the army, so the French made it a point to cut off the index and pointer fingers of prisoners so that they'd never be able to draw a bow again. The English responded by taunting French armies by holding up two fingers, to show they were still deadly. Over time this gesture changed to only the middle finger being raised and now we have a pretty universal insult for the Western world.

The entire time I was trying to figure out the human word. I thought Angel then Demon then just before we found outI thought, "Maybe Dragon?"

I like these longer ones. Few people seem able to do a good short story without substantial build and back story.

These guys can survive the hellscape of Venus. They are also the best of the best in way of FTL. And we have a planet right beside our own that they can have. All the other stuff shirts can go jump in a Europan lake. These guys are both amazing and don't have any actual overlap in territories that would make for conflicts of habitation. The perfect room mate.

"They see something strange and the first thing they do is poke at it." Yeah, that sounds about right. 😂

This is one of my favorites. I was so excited when the opening paragraph was read.

Humans: I'd like to throw nukes at them for scamming you Dragons: Please no Humans: Fine... We won't do it. For now...

"Here be dragons", *past memory triggered, started crying*

An insurmountable lesson that whether a people appear as Dragons or Cthulhu; they are all still a people. Looks do not matter; all are capable of empathy and the understanding that all life is sacred!

Fun Fact! The Word Dinosaur wasn't coined 'Till the 1840s! what then would our Anstors(Dyslexia) call these Beings? Dragons, Beamoths, and Rocs to name a few! That being said I absoltely revel in the fact that the HFY Commtiy in enjoys the idea of Alien Dragons as much as I do! Have a Wonderus Flight Amongst the Stars!

Humans meeting dragons: NEW BEST FRIEND??????!!!!

ah yes, the story of dragon capitalism in space

A dragon with a nervous stutter. I love it.

These stores can go one of two vais 1. humans improve everything 2. Humans destroy everything, rebuil and improve

When he mentioned modifying the chair for the ambassador, I started thinking about body types. Centauroid? Quadriped? Obviously something that can build ships. I was actually imagining the heat-loving reptilian Vullards from the video game series Ratchet & Clank. They're built a bit like kangaroos.

At first I thought they were gonna be Tholians. Was happy when they turned out to be dragons. Also I am usually turned off from HFY stories due to how much felatio is given to terrans. This story is one of the few I like. Terrans aren’t some mythical Mary/Marty Sues, and instead focuses on one of our innate traits or curiosity and sense of justice, which we tend to show when not tearing ourselves apart over trite bullshit.

This actually made me cry, are worthy enough for the earth to forgive our species

classic humanity. i can totally see our unique combination of pack bonding and spite to work in our favour until the far future :)

Finally a story that isn't a cut-&-paste of humans being immortal wargods who melt at anything with fir & big eyes.I LOVED this one!Who WOULDN'T want to ally with dragons?!The only way it'd get better is if through some miracle of science or black magic,we could breathe each other's atmosphere & create hybrids,cause that'd be awesome.

I've been listening to a lot of HFY recently, and I have to admit I think this is the one I like the most. Admittedly of course, I love dragons so I can't claim to be innocent of bias. Just the same, friendly dragons unintentionally imposing terror and thus outcast, befriended by humans more awestruck and fascinated than afraid. Now THAT's a story I can get behind!

Genuinely surprised that the topic of "humans finding the space dragons attractive" never came up

This is the third HFY that I've listened to in a row that thought "dragons" was some sort of revolutionary plot twist.

Damn I love these. One of the best parts of my day. Thanks for your work man.

That's nice. Dragons on Venus.

Imagine the nerves inherent in setting out to negotiate with a dragon.

This is definitely one of my favorites. Thank you

Day two of requesting: humans don't make good pets

Just re-read this again. It has to be one my favorite HFY stories of all time. DRAGONS

Humans meet Orcs. Humans: So we gonna fight? Orcs: Wait... you want to fight? Humans: A little bit. Orcs: I enjoy conquest, but I do not enjoy prey that doesn’t fight, I’ll go look for someone e- Humans: *suckerpunch* bitch you think I can’t take you?! Orcs: That’s the spirit. *5 decades later* Some alien: the war rages on, they have made entire planets out of the wreckage, they draw closer, engulfing our region with their senseless fighting...

I absolutely love this story. XD Of COURSE, we would make friends with the Dragons. XD

The Space Dragons must be protected at all costs.

Okay, got taken for a ride in the first half, I thought it was gonna be Devils and I've been imagining Satan from the Mint Mobile commercials.

Yeah, Humanity meets Space Dragon, both sides are peaceful, and humanity makes them their best friends? Checks out in my opinion. Great Story

The ability and abundance, to give a break to another being, is a thing that must be invested in now, that when tomorrow becomes yesterday, you have it to give now....

I thought "mermaids" at first up until the heat/pressure was mentioned. Then went to "dwarves" which would have also been very fitting.

I love this story!!! Thank You for the narration!

Dragons never thought of that. Was thinking horta... but then he said fly... nope not horta... lol but yeah I can see ppl getting excited really excited about dragons..

If I met a dragon I would react EXACTLY the same way

I love this story. I only knew part one before, thank you for reading part two in the same vid, now I love the story even more ... and very much thanks to the author for writing this amazing story

Silacone base life! Anyone else waiting for them to say Xenomorph?

One of my favorites stories! Great job!

I love that like the mythical dragons these ones are mostly after "gold" and glory

I figured the word he couldn’t translate was “demon” until I heard the word was “dragon”.

Yes space dragons, of course we would want to be friends.

It's easy to get along with a neighbor who want nothing of your lebensraum. .

Ya… I would wage war on the galaxy for dragon friends

Does anyone else hear "cursing vehemently and invoking a deity" and immediately think "Jesus Fucking Christ"?

I would love to see stories made in this universe. Ngl I would be the idiot that kicked off a diplomatic situation by booping their snoot

One of my favorites, thanks for reading it

I love this one. You did well and made listening to it enthralling.

Ah yes dragons I think it a toss up between dragons and dinosaurs but I think dragons would win out in the end as the thing humans would like to meet/see.

Considering I thought they were silicon based, like, rock people. I was expecting the humans to be calling them Geodudes/Pokemon XD

Love your videos and really love the whole plot of humans not being woefully the weakest or some other trope keep up the good work

Until the actual word was revealed, I was thinking these guys were griffins

Aliens: They're horrid, unnatural monsters! Humans: *Raises eyebrow* Friend? Aliens: NO! Monsters! Humans: If not friend, then why friend shaped? Aliens: What is wrong with you? Humans: FRIEND!!!

25:06 oh god, we've infected them with our vulgarity!

this was amazing! i really enjoyed it

I'm trying to understand the economics of the stardrive prices here. If it costs less to create them in atmosphere on other worlds than originally stated, wouldn't that mean the dragons are overcharging? I can see where the percentages come from; the 60% undercharge comes from the fact that a quarter price is 25% and a tenth is 10%, and 10% is 60% less than 25%, but how does that apply itself to the sales. Whatever it costs to make on a dragon's world will remain the same regardless of other world prices. A range of 90% leaves a greater profit margin to be made than 75%. The other races can't say it costs us X amount on our world, so because your world is better suited, you should sell at 10% cost, right? What am I missing here? I feel like I'm on the cusp of understanding my the right neurons aren't firing.

That's a particularly good tale. Thanks for sharing.

Still one of my favorites you've done so far.

Bing bong your loneliness is gone

Well that was definitely a better story than where the dragons came out of a cardboard box.

I enjoy all of NetNarrator videos 😅

bloody good story i would love to see this work made into a series.

No bulli space Dragons

SPACE, DRAGONS! SPACE, DRAGONS! SPACE DRAGONS!

Dragons on Venus? Ahamkara! Ahamkara! Ahamkara!

This is my favorite one. I hope this guy makes more

There be dragons.

I hope they put a perimeter around the venera probes and turned it to a museum.

Great short! Thanks!

1: emerge from FTL a good distance from your atmosphere source planet, usually a gas giant 2: spend a couple of weeks traveling to said planet at sublight speed 3: set up a materials processing system to filter process and package _massive_ quantities of atmosphere for transport 4: fire gas canisters at some convenient point a couple of weeks of sublight travel worth of distance away from your probably-a-gas-giant atmospheric materials source 5: have a conga line of freighters blipping out of FTL, running navigation and generally going about the business of establishing good situational awareness then proceeding to pick up canisters floating in space on designated vectors, process could vary from a few seconds to a few hours depending on the rest of their tech base but at the absolute worst it's gonna be one _hell_ of a lot less than a few weeks, process can also occur simultaneously at several locations at once expanding your choke point to an absolutely gigantic sphere with a "a couple weeks of sublight travel" sized dead zone in it's center. 6: reenter FTL 7: exit FTL in target system, fire atmosphere cargo at receiving and processing station near terraforming target...or just straight up shoot them at the planet; you're transporting an _atmosphere_ here, it's not like they need to go anywhere specific or arrive undamaged or anything, if it hits the gravity well and doesn't somehow transition into an unusable state in the process you're good to go! so your method of delivery is based almost purely on whatever is most efficient/convenient 8: check in with the maintainence infrastructure for the transport rout then turn around for another load steps 1-4 mean you have almost complete freedom in how you go about whatever flavor of steps 5 and 7 you want and taking the lazy rout with step 7 instead of hauling the entire ship over to and from the target planet also means you have almost complete freedom with how you go about steps 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8 so you can pretty much just use whatever ship you can get your hands on to transport: it just needs to be capable of picking up a predesigned container from space and releasing it on a reasonably correct flight path: no decades of work with dedicated gigafreighters needed! all that said the processing at the gas giant really is a massive task so the timetable is still gonna have steps 3+4 running hard for quite some time, it's just dedicated effort in an efficient methodology and way less self-imposed design limitations instead of what amounts to a god damned interstellar bucket brigade of planetary proportions.

I really like this one.

Ooo this one is going to be fun

Another great reading 😁

Space dragons!!! 🐉

What type of dragon

For the space dragons!

The Venusian capitol just happened to be named Passamaquody? What did they think of Smaug?