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Best HFY Reddit Stories: Diplomatic Intelligence Report Upon The Human Military

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The Black Watch...
An original story written, and granted permission to narrate by u/FiauraTanks
Original Story: / diplomatic_intelligenc...
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I am the Net Narrator. I will be narrating various tales from around the internet, which may be spooky, may be creepy, may be funny, may be awesome or may be something else. Stick around and play me while bored at work and enjoy!
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Опубликовано:

22 авг 2024

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Комментарии : 256

@FiauraTheTankGirlGamer 10 месяцев назад

Hello, Thank you, Hi; I'm the Author.

@NetNarrator 10 месяцев назад

I'm looking forward to when the rest go live!

@t1tanfallpr025 10 месяцев назад

Brilliant story, cant wait for the rest of it

@LennyDeee 10 месяцев назад

"Beta male coward" Hey , you aware there's easier ways to tell the world you're an incel?

@FiauraTheTankGirlGamer 10 месяцев назад

@@NetNarrator So am I!

@FiauraTheTankGirlGamer 10 месяцев назад

@@LennyDeee A species that has a hirearchy based upon Avians would have males be the ones who have to demonstrate their accomplishments to find a mate in my opinion.

@singletona082 10 месяцев назад

Somewhere, a few universes removed, the ghost of Amaris is dead yet haunted by the distant sound of bagpipes.

@FiauraTheTankGirlGamer 10 месяцев назад

Watch? I actively assist and participate in that creation.

@doom7ish 10 месяцев назад

*Internal Panic*

@djwoolf123 10 месяцев назад

I came here to say the same thing. This has Blackpants Legion Amaris Civil war written all over it.

@singletona082 10 месяцев назад

Which isn't a bad thing in of itself. It's simply an unavoidable that happens from time to time. @@djwoolf123 I view it as flattery.

@brycehansen7893 10 месяцев назад

BattleTech😮😮😮

@tomashass9229 10 месяцев назад

Ah. The Royal Blackwatch. When Nukes are just a Inconvinience.

@skoshman1 10 месяцев назад

I think someone listened to Tex.

@tomashass9229 10 месяцев назад

@@skoshman1 HOW DID YOU KNOW ??? ;)

@ambassadorofreee3859 6 месяцев назад

@@skoshman1 " Amaris had himself, a fucking problem... *THE GODDAMN BLACK WATCH!* "

@dividewalker5673 5 месяцев назад

_Nemo me impune lacessit._

@AnikaJarlsdottr 4 месяца назад

"that which does not kill me has made a tactical error"

@boombang0418 10 месяцев назад

“90% structural integrity damage.” Pillar of Autumn/Halcyon Class, is that you?

@Rose_Harmonic 10 месяцев назад

My thoughts exactly

@Voron_Aggrav 10 месяцев назад

Overbuilt to the extreme I suppose, but seriously after sustaining that much damage it shouldn't be capable of anything more than limping home...

@ArchonSG1 10 месяцев назад

When author-sama mentioned the Gun Slinger Program I am pretty sure every Battletech vet broke into a grin. Icing to that cake would have been naming the powersuits "Marauders". 😁 One could almost hear "Scotland the Brave" playing off the suits speakers as the survivors marched down the ramp off the retrieval craft.

@Mikudude1billion 4 месяца назад

Or Highland Sights if they watched the BPL episode.

@denalozecon9074 10 месяцев назад

This is a great futuristic version of the 300 story. 480 Elite Human Soldiers protected a location for ? days versus millions of Bug Zergs.

@NeSeeger 10 месяцев назад

Living forever is overrated.

@raggafan1 10 месяцев назад

It is just something that happens from time to time.

@lumberluc 10 месяцев назад

Sounds like everyday in the Gardens

@jled787 10 месяцев назад

@@NeSeegerGrunts, do you want to live forever? Join the Mobile Infantry! Would you like to know more? Are you doing your part? Enlisting guarantees citizenship! Would you like to know more? A Good Bug is a DEAD Bug! This is for Buenos Aires! Would you like to know more?

@Cha-Khia 9 месяцев назад

I'm pretty sure the humans here are from the Battletech universe, likely the early to mid 2700's era (see Star League), I for one enjoy the setting.

@asahearts1 10 месяцев назад

Thought the punchline would be that they crawled inside the bugs like a tauntaun. 😂

@Lupus_Indomitus 10 месяцев назад

That would have been quite good too. But well, with the nukes are just an inconvenience thing i broke.

@warlockghovat5745 10 месяцев назад

The army was determined to be the least insane by the xeno intelligence and that was after the army laughed off some nukes. What in God’s name did the marines do?

@Chokah 10 месяцев назад

Someone told them they were extra spicy crayons?

@akmon3490 10 месяцев назад

@@Chokahgod forbid that they ran out of crayons and the hive queen have awfully colorated crayon sized spikes

@nadjasunflower1387 10 месяцев назад

probably nuffin...jus Marine stuffs. 🤫😉😇

@singletona082 10 месяцев назад

'What in God's Name did the Marines do?' They ran out of crayons to eat, so they started in on the bugs.

@PanduPoluan 10 месяцев назад

The marines once consumed a whole planet's supply of crayons, leading to riot when younglings everywhere cry to their parents for want of crayons...

@FiauraTheTankGirlGamer Год назад

Author Here: Apparently I got a shot at saying something first, I will simply say: "Thank You." The amount of pride that has replaced the nagging imposter syndrome has made me feel genuine happiness for the last week. Sidenote: apparently I put his date of birth in the first post and the rest the dates of him serving as Admiral of the Fleet, Whoops, my bad.

@strategygalactic 10 месяцев назад

No excuse. Do better.

@singletona082 10 месяцев назад

Please tell me you are a fan of tex talks battletech.

@onimenno 10 месяцев назад

Yeah dude, plagiarism makes you a fake. If you can't come up with your own idea and decide to claim Tex's script as your story....you're not an author. You're a secretary that put his name on the boss' report. Try harder. Do better.

@FiauraTheTankGirlGamer 10 месяцев назад

@@onimenno I choose to quote someone, because it worked as a quote. I went through that ENTIRE story and I Put 1 quote at the end yet I'm a plagiarist? That isn't how that works.

@onimenno 10 месяцев назад

@@FiauraTheTankGirlGamer your story reads like a paraphrased story of what Tex was reading from in his YT vid. Lacking your own creative ideas you lifted stuff from his vid, copypasted it on reddit, then didn't even bother changing the names of the main characters. That's plagiarsim. If you were in my old english class I'd have given you a "D". Do better.

@rhyderleming5851 8 месяцев назад

“Nukes are merely an inconvenience” is the ultimate flex.

@sluggo9687 5 месяцев назад

Well... the 191st royal battlemech division (the GODDAMNED BLACK WATCH!!) Had to be nuked twice, just to stop them. Just to end the threat of the Black Watch. Before that second Nuking, 9 (yes NINE) Black Watch Battlemech pilots stopped an entire elite regiment dead, and proceeded to blow away two battalions of said regiment away like dandelions... With no losses among that number. And even them, some of the Black Watch survived, and made nightmares for Stefan the ursurper for the remainder of the Amaris Civil war.

@crystalkalem9289 10 месяцев назад

Slight mistake by the writer, here is the correction. "The cutting surface of the sword moves at approximately 70 km/h. The tip is moving faster, but it’s not really the part that I care about."

@zeehero7280 10 месяцев назад

"Nukes are merely an inconvenience" Indeed, especially next to the fury of a woman scorned!

@sluggo9687 5 месяцев назад

Colonel Hanni Schmitt of the 191st royal battlemech divison approves of this message. Nemo Me Impune Lacessit

@illusiveelk2558 10 месяцев назад

Having a Navy on oceans of acid sounds metal as f***

@Voron_Aggrav 10 месяцев назад

Well, I doubt it'd be Metal seeing acid does eat through that Quite well

@petergaskin1811 7 месяцев назад

Imagine a hunter-killer sub under a sea of Sulphuric Acid. Oo-er.

@anderewisp1 6 месяцев назад

As an american, Id pay some taxes towards it.

@Mikudude1billion 4 месяца назад

Welcome to BattleTech. Where it is explicitly stated in the sourcebooks that most planets "oceans" are not Earth-like H20, but dangerous and occasionally corrosive liquids.

@volatilesky 10 месяцев назад

Next up, detailing why every human military force considers the arrival of a Gurka regiment as either an answer to prayer if friendly, or as absolute disaster if hostile.

@Voron_Aggrav 10 месяцев назад

I doubt the Hostile forces know that Gurkha's have landed until Havoc erupts

@petergaskin1811 7 месяцев назад

I had a Structural Engineer work colleague once who wore a small silver Kukri badge on his lapel, a memory of his service as an Army Engineer Lieutenant attached to a Gurkha Regiment. Apparently very popular with the Ladies. RIP Pete Smith.

@Segen_Bell 2 месяца назад

I was waiting for this as well! I'm a Gorkha aswell, not the military but the civilian, and I hope I get to see our men and women in military action!!!

@ravenouself4181 8 месяцев назад

The Nukes had the added bonus effect of burning away the organic matter that was still stuck on the armor

@jakeand9020 10 месяцев назад

Must do the rest of this series. I've not read it yet but there's a part 2 on the army and a chapter for each of the other divisions of the human military.

@user-sq5mr8ut1o 10 месяцев назад

I hope there's a part 2 to this. I wanna hear about the marines

@HarryPotter-zr2qm 10 месяцев назад

There is

@kyriss12 10 месяцев назад

I’m gonna assume it starts with 3 marines walking into a bar, and ends with someone deciding to take an apc for a joyride through the capital. When asked why the humans deployed 3 marines to a conflict zone the humans had no interest in, the ambassador replies “they were on vacation and thought it would be fun”

@onimenno 10 месяцев назад

If you want to learn more,. Google "battletech black watch". You'll get the Marines and the Mechs. That's where the author stole the idea from....almost word for word.

@Voron_Aggrav 10 месяцев назад

@@kyriss12probably something along those lines, but seeing the Black Watch story, it could be 3 marines on vacation and being interrupted as a full invasion force lands pretty much on top of them, somehow hijacking an assault transport and taking the flagship captive

@sluggo9687 5 месяцев назад

They are called "Astartes"

@Blitzozs 10 месяцев назад

"how did you survive?" *bagpipes*

@randorookie8587 7 месяцев назад

I love how closely associated the Black Watch has become with defiant last stands and brushing aside nuclear weapons

@Cortanis001 10 месяцев назад

But did he ever get that apology?

@raggafan1 10 месяцев назад

Very probably. Or just to prove a point a BlackWatch marine might escort him to get it.

@fishbord 9 месяцев назад

black watch.... gunslinger program....... Battle tech intensifies

@Darkinu2 10 месяцев назад

I'm surprised no-one else made a Prototype reference yet. Also hoping for a part 2

@rubles88alvarez83 10 месяцев назад

Prototype?

@ahmetvural5381 10 месяцев назад

@@rubles88alvarez83 look up alex mercer and you will know it

@Darkinu2 10 месяцев назад

@@rubles88alvarez83Video game where you play as Alex Mercer, something who has shape-shifting powers. Blackwatch is like the hardass special ops type who will nuke a city to stop the infection that breaks out during the story. There's plenty of content to look up about the games.

@ReturningSomeVideoTapes 9 месяцев назад

@@rubles88alvarez83The Games I think he means

@Darkinu2 9 месяцев назад

@@ReturningSomeVideoTapesYes, thank you.

@RX782GP03 10 месяцев назад

i just have the image of Ralf Jones saying his line "I can survive anything, even nukes."

@bradwolf07 10 месяцев назад

Nukes are merely an inconvenience *Slow claps start* That was AWESOME. My compliments to the author

@RomanQrr 10 месяцев назад

Nice to see something so clearly inspired by BPL's Battletech Lore videos.

@kagutohagate2079 10 месяцев назад

When the rest comes please make a playlist of this so it will be easy to listen to it all

@reggiehigh22 10 месяцев назад

After those five words he should have been thinking how to court her and not to die.

@petergaskin1811 7 месяцев назад

Correction - how to court her and survive the experience... Or How to court her and not die in the process.

@homoerectus6953 10 месяцев назад

for the great story, for the eloquent voice.....

@XBloodyBaneX 9 месяцев назад

To clarify something. Hollow bones in birds doesn't make their bones more fragile, because to combat the overall loss of mass, they evolved to have denser bone material. The hollow part of bones acts as an extension of their respiratory system, where, at high altitudes, there is less oxygen, so having hollow bones lets them store oxygen in their more hollow bones to help oxygenate their blood. The vast majority of birds that don't fly, like Ratites and penguins, have marrow filled bones.

@davidvincent5701 10 месяцев назад

Totally need to hear the rest of this series.

@obsidian00 10 месяцев назад

"Tis but a scratch!"

@lostShadowLord 10 месяцев назад

Tex of the Black pant Legion voice:the black watch were too angry to die

@petergaskin1811 7 месяцев назад

Next time, they're going to let them wear underpants. Just in case.

@ettibbet5493 10 месяцев назад

Nukes are merely inconvenient

@terryhiggins5077 10 месяцев назад

I see the Author more or less lifted the tale of the Royal Blackwatch from battletech.

@fezenclop 9 месяцев назад

Probably just inspired by. After all the Black Watch is a real thing.

@terryhiggins5077 9 месяцев назад

@@fezenclop I doubt it, the real blackwatch have never taken nukes and kept going nor pulled off anything near what the story depicts. It's definitely based on BT's version no question. It's too close in story beats, and references. Edit: author confirmed it in the comments, it's bt

@sluggo9687 5 месяцев назад

This is straight up Tex Talks Battletech homage.

@Questor-ky2fv 4 месяца назад

Thanks for this story! Don't know whether to save it in my Audio Drama folder or my Humor folder. I'll save it in both folders. Problem solved! 😂

@rat_king- 10 месяцев назад

britain? you have a space empire...

@kdmbigpig 10 месяцев назад

Read:- Wrath of the Lemming Men.

@artbrann 10 месяцев назад

and still not using any of the spices they find :P

@rat_king- 10 месяцев назад

trade is more important @@artbrann

@Emperorgonzo1 10 месяцев назад

I am really hoping for the rest of the reports on the other branches of the human united military as this is world building as a fine art.

@TheSolidSnakeOil 6 месяцев назад

If that's an army battalion, I'd imagine you could throw a black hole at the marine and all they'd say is, "This but a scratch!"

@billrich9722 10 месяцев назад

The idea that an advanced alien species not only does not have their own extensive ground based military but also has no practical understanding of ground combat is laughable to the point of insulting.

@Voron_Aggrav 10 месяцев назад

Nah, I can see why they might not have bothered much in those fields, If your race resolves everything in the black cold void you don't really need the ground capabilities, besides Avian Species would absolutely suck against mamalian or reptile species seeing their brittle bones, so they might focus on avoiding a straight up fight, The ground forces could also be largely based on PDF forces, more specific to defending and policing than they are towards other roles

@chrisdufresne9359 10 месяцев назад

Wait, are we using various sizes of Halcyon-Class cruisers from Halo?

@cajetankurmann7126 10 месяцев назад

Is there more? As it feels like theres a lot of stuff missing

@FiauraTheTankGirlGamer 10 месяцев назад

There is, I am unsure if he will do the full 6 part series.

@toasterhavingabath6980 5 месяцев назад

With the airforce bit, im imagining a b-52 with space engines and heat panels

@dougfisher5408 8 месяцев назад

Dude, I could spend a lot of time hearing this audiobook....continued.👍🍻🍻

@Snowcrab27 10 месяцев назад

From Halo to Battletech

@fs5miFi1dM4u5 8 месяцев назад

"The planet broke before the watch did"

@AlanMyronPrivate 10 месяцев назад

nukes are barely an inconvenience lol!!!!

@TS-bj8my 10 месяцев назад

Good narration and the beginning of a great story!

@risingwind8943 2 месяца назад

This needs to be continued.

@ryanzahn6581 10 месяцев назад

This is pro SLDF propaganda lmao

@FiauraTheTankGirlGamer 10 месяцев назад

3000%

@mikehenthorn1778 8 месяцев назад

The hive was lucky it wasn't Gurkas

@charlesipes3962 8 месяцев назад

I loved it!!

@comicsgatekeeper9746 5 месяцев назад

Was he a minister or a admiral ?

@GentlemanBystander 10 месяцев назад

United and Confederation are _almost_ mutually exclusive concepts. A confederation is marked by the ability of any member to pull out.

@Wesley-1776 10 месяцев назад

*OOOOOOOOOOH FAR AWAY FROM THE LIGHT OF TERRA~*

@GenStallion 10 месяцев назад

Hope there is more. For the Republic!

@KittyGamer1514 10 месяцев назад

This may be off slightly, but whatever: Danger. Darkness. Dwarves.

@isaiahpelly8370 10 месяцев назад

I would like to see part two

@AliceFreist 7 месяцев назад

Wait a moment ... So a year after this presentation, he was no longer in position ? If I heard that right, this anecdote (and subsequent reporting, assuming he was allowed to finish) was insufficient to convince anyone that war with humans was a mistake. Or did I misunderstand?

@rodrigorubio8918 10 месяцев назад

Is there a part 2 or more?

@Orhin 10 месяцев назад

Oops... guess they didn't listen to him.

@petergaskin1811 7 месяцев назад

Hoo-rah.

@erutherford 9 месяцев назад

... and they started with the LEAST impressive branch ...

@Deathbecomesme3 10 месяцев назад

So by power armor you mean mechs right? The author only SLIGHTLY plagiarized Tex's Amaris civil war video.

@Chokah 10 месяцев назад

I think he mentioned "mechanized suit AND power armor." As separate things."

@singletona082 10 месяцев назад

fNUKES ARE MERELY AN INCONVENIENCE.

@Sporner100 10 месяцев назад

An someone explain to me why they nuked the entire planet and left, when the plan was nuking the landing zone to make room for a beachhead?

@Voron_Aggrav 10 месяцев назад

Because they apparently nuked it so hard that only the Black Watch seemingly managed to survive on the planet, But yeah good point bit of a missed point

@darkhawkgaming3238 10 месяцев назад

Part 2?

@cloud8813 10 месяцев назад

the hell? Author's comment says 6 months ago while the video's 5 minutes old

@strategygalactic 10 месяцев назад

Time travel

@singletona082 10 месяцев назад

Patreon gets earlybird access.

@chrisdufresne9359 10 месяцев назад

@singletona082 Or just clicking it on first upload before it goes properly unlisted.

@FiauraTheTankGirlGamer 10 месяцев назад

*Time Ninja Noises*

@singletona082 10 месяцев назад

*dubstep fart*@@FiauraTheTankGirlGamer

@lupaswolfshead9971 10 месяцев назад

let me guess in each chapter a stunning and brave woman will be revealed to be the uber heroine

@andyd6622 10 месяцев назад

This was cribbed from a piece of Battletech lore that was written decades ago. Including the part about the female Blackwatch Commander. Captain Elizabeth Hazen. Best known for being one of the founders of Clan Jade Falcon after the SLDF Exodus as well as bringing a sword to a gun fight...and winning. She's not a stunning and brave anything, she's just a badass who's character was created more than 32 years ago. That said, we'll have to see where the author takes this. I don't want to assume an agenda on anyone's part. I do appreciate how they took a little known piece of lore from a not super obscure piece of sci-fi and made it their own. Battletech/Mechwarrior isn't full on mainstream and if the author credits it with inspiration it might draw more people to the fandom. It's an awesome setting with amazingly deep lore.

@lupaswolfshead9971 10 месяцев назад

@@andyd6622 so it was plagiarised by someone then

@andyd6622 10 месяцев назад

@@lupaswolfshead9971 At worst it's fanfiction. If they were trying to make money off it I'd be concerned. However it's clearly an homage and a good chunk of the comments being posted bear that out. A lot of TexTalksBattletech fans in this comment section it seems. If it was a genuine attempt at plagiarism then it wasn't a very well executed one. The point is, it's for fun. Stop trying to police other people's enjoyment. Makes you as bad as the people shoving diversity quotas and their social agenda down our throats instead of well written characters and entertaining plots.

@lupaswolfshead9971 10 месяцев назад

@@andyd6622 no I'm sick to death of this crap

@andyd6622 10 месяцев назад

@@lupaswolfshead9971 Whatever man. You wanna be miserable and angry because that's how you choose to perceive things then go ahead. Everyone has the right to be an asshole. Now I'm going to exercise my right to ignore you.

@methanbreather 10 месяцев назад

tbh, at 8min mark, I was too bored to continue.

@beingsneaky 10 месяцев назад

Hey where is the rest??

@johnnyrotten3175 7 месяцев назад

👏👏👏👏

@jmoney-mb3ef 10 месяцев назад

Anyone getting cod ghost from this?

@Lone_Wandering0 9 месяцев назад

Major ghosts vibes

@Darkphoenix3450 10 месяцев назад

Umm space force?

@silvadelshaladin 10 месяцев назад

That would be the black water navy.

@Darkphoenix3450 10 месяцев назад

@@silvadelshaladin why would anyone want to be called navy? I would rather be called a wing of the Air Force over ever being compared to the Navy!

@rexmann1984 10 месяцев назад

"Just as capable as their men in war" does everything have to be woke?

@nadinefeiler9204 10 месяцев назад

in 500 years, with genetic modification and in power armor this statement may even be true 🤷‍♀

@asahearts1 10 месяцев назад

@@nadinefeiler9204 Or in fantasy settings. Though the question remains, "If you genetically modify a woman so she's equivalent to a man, is she still a woman?"

@rexmann1984 10 месяцев назад

@@asahearts1 what is a woman?

@asahearts1 10 месяцев назад

@@rexmann1984 A miserable little pile of secrets! ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-5tV33Ewf_hw.htmlfeature=shared

@FiauraTheTankGirlGamer 10 месяцев назад

Bad Bait is bad.