Bill Burr Answers the Internet's Weirdest Questions 

Love Bill Burr!!

Answer the Internet how about if bill thinks he can beat tom cruise in a couch jumping contest😂😅on opra😂😅

I've seen weirder questions in the comment section of RU-vid 😄

You guys just steal these questions from reddit though.

I’ve been here since before 10k! 😎

Karimi 😂😂😂😂

Lmaooo so accurate 😂

I just read that in Bill’s voice😂😂

Only old white dudes from boston or wanna be pimps wear jogging suits!

Winner 😂😂😂😂😂

Ahahahah

Yoooo you made me spit my fucking Snapple out😂😂😂😂😂 you owe me $2

Haha on point

Thats awesome

Best fucking comment , BILL BURR need to see this

The gruffness is from the maddening rage that comes along with being a good person watching the world full of shit.

lmao

Lol yeahhhppp!

No joke, as I read this comment an ad for GTA online popped up.

GTA 6 is just life

@@Matthew_Cato no shit

HAHHAHAHAHA so true

Facts 😂

LMFAOOOOO

Has he not heard of the St Stu St Stutter Rap?

The Chav

Not surprising at the same time because he’s the worlds most wholesome man lol

@Javi del Val coming from a poor abusive family to being one of the funniest comedians and a role model to many is wholesome. Argue with someone else

​@@JDelvaMusicas if you know him personally. 🙄

Welcome to marriage.

Good ole Stockholm syndrome.

relationship with a woman 20 year younger than you" he should say

Blood moved.

It's getting tighter

Or not a Slave to fashion.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

He should have squat during the whole bit

As a slav i resent that for being so truthful

@@shinjaokinawa5122 the irony being the reason Slavs wear full tracksuits is exactly that lmao

well I mean it is easier when you're already pretty wealthy and living comfortably. Now if he was dead broke, 3 months behind on rent, you might have a different answer lol

@@colecampbell1906 Agreed. And technically he even admits as much. He has enough money, been around the bend enough for it to not be an issue. At that point, world peace is a viable option.

@@colecampbell1906 also the thing with world peace is everyone would be happy and content so no need to stress on stuff like that because we would all be helping each other out and probably not even need the use of money to keep people down. Classism wouldn’t exist

@@gabe608 I mean, if there's world peace, and I don't pay my bills, what are you gonna do about it ?

Exactly 👌

Draxx Them Sklounst that shit was hilarious caught me off guard lol

John Hurley be careful toothpick, you could snap trying to flex like that 🤣

@@rhs1578 I just used the phrase "draxxed me sklounst" to describe my covid vax symptoms to a friend, then I saw your comment. The lord works in mysterious ways.

GIT THEM TERRIES! I brought a 3d printer ;)

Ethan C once you’ve heard bill burr sing the intro to puppy palls, everything seems tame for him.

Agreed especially the closing question

Tame and lame.

Same thing I thought, where did they get these yes/no questions?

Ethan C bill isn’t hardcore or anything 😂 he just likes to be grumpy in a funny way. Liking cigars doesn’t make you a badass lol

Someone should tell him that enjoying instrumental music is a sign of intelligence

AnarchYxNoob lmaoooooo

Hahaha

Looks like he moved to Queens

Mall Walkers are just NSA Agents spying on us

It's a Liverpool suit ya trickstop! !

Has to scroll down to find someone who appreciates it as well. Mad respect for Bill on that mindset.

Fck cares? If the other person isn't there, just attribute the story and tell it. Otherwise don't even bring it up. Every story in the comedian's circle is proprietary gold? 🙄

@@dparis2172 and this is why u don’t have friends

I wish he told everything related to Patrice.

@@dparis2172 or maybe the other person is comedian too so he didnt want to sell out his other friend story or joke

That's exactly what he is. I love anything with him that shows up.

And then he bangs you in the dirt

Insomniac is a fucking awesome album dude. Too bad Green Day sucked for the last 15 years

Just the tip don’t tell dad

RadSports. collatedTV x disagree with them being bad for the past 15 years but i respect your opinion and yes insomniac is great, it’s probably one of my fav Green Day albums and what got me into them.

Like a boomer

@@chokichocat3083 Better to be a boomer than Mumble.

Choki Chocat we found the normie

@@christianmorales8978 I have the same gov name as you so that makes 2 of us

He’s American.

I want to be offended by that but i cant be 😂

@@hrizzo7955 beaut

Uve defo never walked round Liverpool

axy1982 funny that considering its where im from ya scruff

Joan Wills meff

He's too old and well-established to need to bother giving a shit anymore.

@@dogchaser520 it aint got nothin to do with age. some people just dont care about how they look!

@@dabigbaby7193 This is true. The real ones recognize that's not the important bit.

@@dogchaser520 right on!

@@dabigbaby7193 some people really like to point out that you dont have designer clothes and you dont. its not that i cant afford it, i just dont give a shit. i dont mean to brag but im 25 and almost a millionaire through fixing up 2 houses, and recently starting my own production based business. clothes doesnt make the man, and wearing gucci belts and 2.000 dollar shoes doesnt increase your inherent value as a human being.

Haha

He already perfected it

I had no idea he did a Philly rant till I heard about it a few weeks ago. Loved it. And I agree with it 100%. I've lived in Philly for about 4 years now, can't stand it. I plan on leaving next year.

He would have remembered the 76ers. The only team he forgot about.

Honestly, that'd probably make it worse. If it felt too refined. The pure blind rage of it is what makes it so great. Lol.

What's the name of his podcast?

@@nii_amart the Monday morning podcast

@@externalthoughts2924 thank you

Slavic Tuxedo - ha! Excellent choice of words --

😂😂😂😂

* scouse tuxedo

Dobro 😂

Nailed it! I was thinking he was dressing sorta eastern Euro. and YOU NAILED IT! hahaahhahaaaaaaaaaaa

He should have said idk he's got his alien homies that's got his back and they would put particles in his body lol because that's what Tom cruise actually believes smh

Yeah and asking a millionaire aswell lol .... Like did that question come from your 6 year old son?? Haha

I agree, at least make it 100 million or even go for a billion. These days 1 million isn't that much in the grand scheme of things. Besides, if I went back in time to when I was 18 I would just bet on Buster Douglas vs Mike Tyson and manipulate bitcoin.

Reminded me of Dr. Evil on Austin Powers.

exactly... back to 18 and prepare myself to buy as much bitcoin as I can when it came up in 2000's and then selling it in late 2017 .... that would be billions .... also knowing to avoid one perticular bit*ch ...;) easy answer.

Go back to being 18 again... And buy Apple stocks. 1 million dollars will come by itself 30 years later.

Might be down to the fact that he just would not want to watch it. I'd feel really uncomfortable watching my friend have sex, especially if he didn't know it was happening.

tbh, I don't think there's a reason to bring it up even. If he made a porno, I'm pretty sure he'd be aware of it lol.

@Ag21 gtfoh with this hate speech

@@colecampbell1906 unless it's revenge porn

@@catybee112 nah the term revenge porn is about leaking nudes. If you full on have a porn tape, you knew about it lol especially since he said it's a porn of his friend and his girl.

krasilozanov90 They probably tailored it to Bill, he really seemed to like them

What do you mean "but"? That was clearly the point: stupid questions so that he could make them funny. Internet much?

That's the greatness of Bill Burr.

The video: we collected the weirdest questions on the internet and put comedians to the test. 527 slow ass people: wow, it's like they just got the stupidest questions on the internet and the only thing that made the video funny was the comedian answering them, omg

@@jameshudson6414 Goes back to being 18, invests in bitcoin. That 1 mill is a joke.

Burr sold out, I used to like him, I can't listen anymore since he said he felt bad for Jussie Smollett

Conrad Paulson Who’s that?

Conrad Paulson Why are you here if you can’t listen to him? Seems like a contradiction.

Conrad Paulson that’s sort of the foundation of all his comedy, empathy and brutal honesty.

Pretty sure that is also a Nike swoosh shirt he is wearing. I think it's more likely Bill brought out his "sports wear" for this shoot.

LMA0OOOOOO

He 100% made reading mistakes. It’s a new take every question. Edited. Lol he prob made multiple mistakes on a single question!

Like how is that even a bar anyways? Most of us are literate and he's a comedian so if he makes a mistake, I bet that just improves things :P

Oh you clearly don't listen to his podcast

In fairness, he has shown what some of those emails look like and they are almost incomprehensible. People write him emails that are just a huge wall of text.... no paragraph breaks.... no commas or periods.... missing articles.... lots of misspellings, and these bizarre changes in subject. They need to bring back "Clippy", before this gets any worse.

Bill is already a multi-millionare this question would only be valid if it is asked to a middle class or less people

Good eyebrow didn't catch that till you said it

Did anybody notice the Liverpool FC hat, or everybody is from USA here 😆

Ivan Pejanovic from the us but I get down with Liverpool didn’t know they made a navy hat

@@ivanpejanovic7627 yup hahaha it was the first thing I noticed lol

I learn that fact from playing the old GTA's

I’m happy this reference made it here 😤

Oh yeah! Palin represent.

yes dude!

This.

Lmao 😂

Spot on

id say he is not very nice, his humor is often at someone elses expence. yes, he is incredibly hillarious but often abuses guys who invite him on their show.

I used to play poker with Bill and his wife. He would always drink too much whiskey and accuse everyone of cheating.

i fucking hope this is true

A lot of comedians roll their eyes when people call them the philosophers of our time. But people don't exactly read anymore myself included and I know for a fact that most people are too dumb or uncomfortable to have a serious conversation about philosophy because they are afraid of the thoughts it brings up. We live in a world where almost no one knows history, the right wants to avoid teaching about slavery so kids will think America is perfect, the left want white parents to guilt their young children into supporting reparations and retell important true stories with a race swapped character that undermines the idea that all black people had it bad, and if a white professor who is the world's leading expert on American history says "One time a owner was nice to his favourite slave and let him go", he will be cancelled and accused of downplaying the whole thing and even though he or she could teach us more than anything about it, they aren't allowed to teach us about why white people should be nicer to black people, because they are white. The world is backwards, people don't have the guts to think about philosophy and people don't want to burden their friends with the type of conversation that usually is depressing and might change how they are viewed. If we aren't mature enough admit we all suck sometimes and don't have the patience to watch a video from Wisecrack, then this is the only philosophy we will get. You could be high as fuck with your friends and ask them if they would fuck an android and at best they make fun of you and shut it down before it starts, and at worst they will look at you like you secretly want to fuck a toaster. But if Bill Burr or Louis CK makes a hilarious joke about how he has a sex bot that looks like Margot Robbie and his wife only lets him fuck it because it does the dishes, you just might have a few couples driving home who might have an interesting conversation about the topic that they will never again feel comfortable talking about. "HONEY it's an inanimate object how is it cheating? Is it because she has face or she's pretty and looks like a real person?" I let you buy that dildo! You don't think that Pringles can makes me insecure. You taped a fake mustache to it right in front me and said "Look I'm Henry Cavill in Mission Impossible" and then jammed it in and laughed, but I can't fuck Margot Robbie Bot once a year on my birthday because what she has nicer hair than you?" At least you won't HAVE to know about it. I'm gonna be the same after her, but I can tell when Superman there paid you a visit. It's like when my older brother use to steal my good sweater and stretch it out so much I didn't even want to wear it anymore because it made me look small, only it's my wife's vagina."

he cant slav squat though , he would feel it yyears in his hip.

moldova high five

I can see were both bald

lucy7th this. I was listening to him today again. Great stuff. Timeless

I think it meant he would be 18 again *now*. Otherwise you'd make far more than a million dollars knowing sport outcomes.

bruhhhhh that hurt to read good lord

We all know that Patrice probably wouldn't listen though

@@treacherousjslither6920 yessssir.❤

Darren Priest they are soulless empty losers who pray on content creators and content consumers and they’re really fucking stupid

@@horizonfios Barstool hosts are the most obnoxious thing to ever surface on the internet... I'm sad that they have no charismas :(

@Peter Evans 34-42% of the country Is unemployed? I'm sorry but where the fuck do you get your information...If that were the case we would have virtually the worst economy in the world. Our unemployment rate is 6% (combining male & female rates which are both 3%)

@@stevencocky19 if male and female rates are 3% then the unemployment is 3%

veranicus hahahahah thank god someone pointed out this incredible math

Everyone is depressed.

just like why adam sandler dresses how he does. rich af and doesnt need to give af about style at all.

vegeta30000 I miss that bastard.

football manager

He likes sports and his relationship is depressing. No shit Sherlock.

""You know that torture device that just gets tighter every time you move...? That's what it's like being in a relationship with a woman." - Bill, 3 minutes earlier in the vid lol

@Dr.Science Exactly.

@Dr.Science Bill is a masochist, though

And his wife really IS adorable.

Simp?

That shit was funny af, man. I laugh out loud, every time I think about that and how he acted it out, so quickly.

Especially the one at the end about being 18 again or a million dollars. You could just go back and bet on tons of sports games and make way more than a million.

@@crisp__ I’m buying some stocks I just need to make as much money as fast as possible (who needs sleep, maybe morales too) and buy some stocks. 18 isn’t too far away from me but there are still stocks that I was so close to buying.

This comment was written with words. That's why it's readable. (but I agree with you.) Edit: punctuation.

@@dvnshow lmfao

He’s the only comedian who could perform without an audience.

Is he a fan?

KTK He’s from Boston which is probably the closest American city to Liverpool, he supports the Red Sox - their owners own Liverpool and he’s a massive Beatles fan. He talks about it in one of his podcasts, said he was watching us in the Champions League and decided to support us

@@TG-it8zt Haha yeah, I just found the video with the podcast you mentioned. Summed up: trash talked Klopp's teeth, doesn't understand the difference between Premier League and Champions League and thought Salah would end in a threesome after the Roma match. XD He's a welcome new supporter and thanks for the insight mate.

Knowing bill burr.I think he probably just liked it and then bought it 😂

@@rickjackmortman6523 He was over In Liverpool last year for 2 days doing stand up. Sold out the Philharmonic Hall. He could have got it then, while touring the city. And also he's been LFC supporter since 2018 after watching the Champions league game between LFC and Roma.

It hurt me as an Everton fan

Fuck mate, thought the same

Lucas H I supported him at the philharmonic gig. I bought him that cap as we watched the lfc Watford game before we went on.

I mean, those responses didn't surprise me. It's clear he's not a big time money guy and he is doing pretty well. If you have a good foundation there's no real reason to give up world peace for money. He's not struggling, he's not starving. He can feed his family. He's good. And his wife is pretty cool, listening to them on his podcast together is pretty adorable.

Who would give up world Peace for a sum of money? That's one of the most selfish things I could imagine.

Anyone who gives the question a few seconds can figure out that people preferring the money are the only real reason world peace can't happen.

@@o11o01 Unfortunately my bruh its been going on for quite a while now... And you might ask who does that..? I guess, People in power may be , People who run things...

@@kemi1896 World peace in reality is unattainable. Even if our government's weren't full of corruption there would be travesties throughout the world.

#tripoloski

Mr slav!!!! Big fan

Adidas Krasovki all day.

MR SLAV brooo 😲

Blyat

Hes not tryna be russian hes just from bawston

Simon Winther nah. The clothes are too fancy

No, that's Norm's job. When he's not at the racetrack, of course.

Brenda Schaub is dressing him. And yes i spelled her first name correct

that's the jeff ross line he threw at norm mcdonald !

and ran to the set

ATI hasn't been on Reddit

It's not even close... they aren't even the weirdest questions from a single group of friends lol

The weirdest question is: "would you rather look like Jar Jar Binks, or sound like Jar Jar Binks? You're not allowed to kill yourself."

@@Elriuhilu Sound like Jar Jar. I'd just pretend I was mute.

Hes got enough money... that the money deiesnt matter.

Saying he already has enough.

JeffreyFromBrooklyn world peace doesn’t make people less greedy it just means no wars are going on. Doesn’t change the human dna

It takes a lot of internal anger to stay that way

don’t forget nick offerman

At least he's influencing us

Glad you are aware enough that you aren't a real man. Sometimes game doesnt recognize game. Just envy. You poor sad sop

Bro you sound so lame

I KNOW!! He looks so tiny. Is Nia hiding food from him?? 😂😂😂😂😂

He's eating healthy probably. Needs to buy smaller clothes tho lol

He said he quit drinking over a year ago I think.

@@derekmartin8127 yes

hahaha 😂 totally