Bitlife but I am the worst pornstar ever 

I swear Kevin's mind just changes each day. Like one day he's killing everyone, then he's forgiving sins as a priest, and now... this.

I never thought this is where the bitlife series would take us.

I cant believe Kevin's best life was a man named "Spanky Handy-Pimplebutt" What an absolute legend

Me: I’m a mature adult with refined tastes Also me: *laughing so hard I’m close to tears at ‘Willy Licker’*

"I've never tried it in bitlife." Kevin... Have you tried it in real life?

I feel like Kevin's solution to everything bad is to buy a boat of some kind

His dad went from not being stiff to a stiff in a couple of minutes 👌🏻

“why is it hard to be healthy” nobody knows kevin

Kevin is the only RU-vidr I can consistently come back to without getting fatigued from his videos. Thank you for the quality content my guy.

What a fucking life that guy led. Though it always felt like something was off, he didn't have to escape from prison or even kill anyone

“I’ve never been a porn star… in BitLife” why the specification kevin?

Kevin, in early November BitLife devs are releasing a game called DogLife, where you can live as a dog. Do what you must with this information,

Of all the boats he could have gotten it had to be a “Tug” boat didn’t it…

That title was completely unexpected and also extremely on brand for Kevin at the same time

Kevin: doesn't immediately resort to crime and violence Also Kevin: "how is this going so well?"

I’m sure you’ve heard this a million times but thanks for all the high quality uploads Kevin. You’ve gotten me through hard times as well as provided a nice daily dose of serotonin

Crime and porn and adopting/abandoning are the corner stones of an authentic Kevin BitLife experience

Kevin trying to cure herpes when it’s literally incurable xD

He has now lost 2 famous bit life characters to a speedboat crashing into his boat, with no one to help. Maybe it's time to stop buying boats...

"Bitlife but I am the worst pornstar" The thigh I was most looking forward to was to see what Kevin would name this poor soul

We all know Kevin is using Bitlife to live out his true fantasy….and I’m ok with it

"How many pornography historians and porn set janitors do you need?" - Kevin, looking over his list of Bitlife characters

As soon as he went to the casino, I knew it was a sign that it was all going to go downhill. Casinos, hook-ups, and running for office always ruin his characters' lives regardless of how successful they were beforehand.

„I‘ve never tried this“ - cut to every bitlife character being a porn set janitor / historian

This is like the 10th time someone crashed into one of Kevin's boats and killed his character.

BitLife did not name a child Willy Licker I refuse to believe that 😂 but at the same time I believe it, they do give people weird names

“Never tried it in bitlife” What aren’t you telling us about your real life Kevin?

That Willy kid who was up for adoption was either REALLY hated by his parents or... Nah, no contest, his parents must have really hated him.

The ending is hillarious but what makes it even better is that I can imagine Willy finding out his father died, leaving him nothing in his will, during an accident on his boat "Suck on this, Willy". The old man's laughing at him even after death

I feel like Spanky might have been the 8th dwarf Disney didn’t want anything to do with

Kevin: *actually tries to succeed in a game for once* Kevin: “Why is this going so well? They’re never going this well for me. 🧐🤔”

I never thought I’d see you in this Industry, can’t wait for the Johnny Sins collab!

We need to cut a clip and take Kevin yelling "Go Spanky!" Out of context lol

You’d think Kevin would learn from all the boat-related fatalities he’s had that it’s probably not the best idea every time. Get a paddleboat next time. That one went well.

Please tell me I'm not the only one that needs to hear Kevin sing the full grinch song. The little snippet sounded good to me and I want to hear a full version

2:21 The little gasp and pure joy of being a pornstar.. This made my day better

He was truly humble. Regardless of his fame he still lived in a trailer park.

"I don't care if I have to eat the grass" is going to stay with me forever

"Never tried it in Bitlife" Emphasis on the 'In Bitlife' Is there something you want to tell us, Kevin?

I like to imagine that when you left everything to “charity” that “Charity” is actually the name of one of spankys coworkers.

Kevin: "Why is this going so well? They *never* go this well for me." 😀 Me: And that's when your Spidey Senses should've gone off. 😒

The Dr. Grinch made me think- That would be a really fun Christmas challenge, being the Grinch in Bitlife. You could be like a super stingy person and do a bunch of like burglary but then turn it around.

14:29 he DIVORCED his wife because she didn’t like his boat, and the FIRST TIME he took it out on the water, it sunk and killed him 😭 JUSTICE FOR SPANKY

Why does it seem like every time he ends up buying a boat in BitLife, Kevin immediately gets into a fatal boating accident?

I love how he called the boat "Suck on This, Willy" and then died in that very same boat. Way to stick it to your son.

"Yeah I'll be Spanky Handy-Pimplebutt" I am a 26-year-old woman, Kevin, who just cackled like a witch because of this in a room full of people. I can't even explain myself.

I was playing as a Female P-Star once. They fired me when I got too old... why? Never heard of Gilf's? All i want to say is: I think they will always release you at a certain age, Herpes or not.

"hey there friends hows it going" is just the highlight of my day

The first part is how a bitLife SHOULD go, the last part is Kevin screwing his life up like every other bitLife.

5:40 I like the brief flash of "Your mother has been cured of cancer of the lung" as Kevin completely ignores it

14:05 thank you for being a comma supporter

This actually draws a lot of parallels to the real story of Johnny Sins

Kevin: "I never tries this in bitlife." Me: "So he's done it irl?"

5:54 "If they get married, he should probably take her name: Spanky Focker" Even better: Spanky Pimplebutt-Focker (which is a very specific "taste") 😂

I’m halfway through the video and everything is going so well - I’m filled with dread about why this video is titled the way it is…

"why is it hard to be healthy?" truer words were never said Kevin (chronic illness + health = impossible it would seem)

"Your co-worker, Sean, wants to become your friend" So that's how they meet in another reality..

"I've been practicing my spanish in Duolingo" Well Kevin, I thought you'd be practicing your spanish in fecking SPAIN

That Jim Pickens plushie/statue is just ominously looming over Kevin's shoulders like he's whispering something evil on Kevin's ears whenever he plays any game.

3:02 me trying to balance work, school, and sports

"Suck on this, Willy" lost it!!!!

Kev a tip for you in BitLife: If you're in a menu like the Job or Social Menu or whatever and you get reset to the main screen but wanna return to the Menu you were at there's an arrow that says "back" on the middle right side of the screen (like at 3:28) so you don't have to click through everything everytime. It saves you some time and also some sanity, I don't know if you're aware of that option.

"I watched Call Me Kevin for the plot" - A very accurate youtube comment

I’ve had quite the rough week but Kevin’s endless creativity and humour always bring a smile and laugh to my face!

Pop and Spanky have been your best Bitlife characters yet. They should crossover into Call Me Kevin cinematic universe.

1:49 his accent is hella funny when he said he’ll eat the grass if he has to 😹

When i heard "Spanky Focker" at 5:57 I literally lost my shit lmao

Day 136 of asking Kevin to play Disney Princess: Enchanted Journey.

imagine how many parents walked in the room and were like "What the f are you watching?!?!??!"

The game realized what Kevin was doing and adjusted all the names to fit

"Why are diets so expensive, why is it so hard to be healthy?" I felt that deep in my love handles.

I never thought I'd see the word 'pornstar' and 'Kevin' in the same phrase/title. The fanfiction will only get worse from here on out.

No Kevin not on Duolingo because once you start you can never stop 11:08

0:07 "never tried it IN BITLIFE"

It's strange that so many characters Kevin makes just die on a vessel.

Good to see Kevin has a backup plan

lmfao, bro what the hell. i expected you murdering people in games, starting cults but every single day your mind goes further than i expected. also, your titles might be being watched by the government. good to make sure you stress the BITLIFE ITS A GAME part there kev.

I absolutely love Kevin playing BitLife!! Please Kevin keep coming up with these ideas that challenge the RU-vid terms of service.

9:44 What the hell?!

From Pop Star to Spanky Pimplebutt 😭 definitely Kevin Bitlife character development

We’re all knew this video was coming, I just don’t think we were all ready for it.

I was waiting for that one screaming clip Kevin definitely didn’t know the origin of when he used it in Planet Coaster

0:27 Well, it's off to a bad start.

Kevin's video uploads are the best thing of the day and seeing him make characters lives a living hell is always the icing on the cake

Next video: “Living life like it’s BitLife”

5:46 That’s legit my surname LMAO

That instant karma at the end with the boat is just perfect 😂

I think Spanky Handy-Pimplebutt planned to die on that boat all along. Purposefully dying on a boat named "Suck on this, Willy" and leaving Willy with no inheritance is the biggest suck on this, Willy death he could've had. It all could've been avoided if Willy liked Puppy calendars...

Why does BitLife always give you the perfect book names?

"You know what, I'll take it" best reaction to adoption ever

i’ve rewatched all of kevin’s bitlife videos at least a couple times because they’re too funny and also o have 0 attention span and so much happens in 2 seconds so every time i rewatch it i get new content i just didn’t compute before 10/10

"Why is it so expensive to be healthy?" America says hello.

Ok we all knew Kevin was gonna do this eventually

I realise this is non of my business, but I'm a lil confused, Kevin moved to Spain, and is now visiting Ireland, but still has his old set up, up, does he still own the old place and now has two homes and is leaving stuff in Ireland for when he visits, or is it green screen? But where's he recording? Idk why this is puzzling me so much

"This is the luckiest guy ever" It was at this moment Kevin knew he fucked up

I think Kevin has died 3 times on boating accidents from this gams

This is honestly one of the most hilarious videos I’ve watched in nearly 4 years of watching Kevin, and there’s a high bar because Kevin is feckin hilarious Thanks for bringing such consistent amazing content!

Love Kevin's bitlife content, never gets old

Loving all the content lately! Absolutely smashing it!

My dreams have came true now, thanks Kevin