Bitlife but I get every STD known to man

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Check out Guardian Tales for yourself here: bit.ly/31xJluG
Thanks to Guardian Tales for the sponsor!
This was meant to be "Bitlife but I have lots of kids" :(
Twitch: / callmekevin
/
Twitter: / callmekevin1811
Instagram: / callmekevin1811
Edited by @Kippesoep001, @TropicalFreeze2 and Kevin
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Опубликовано:

6 сен 2020

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Комментарии : 2,3 тыс.

@vitothefrog6558 3 года назад

I was showing my mom a picture when this “I get every STD known to man” notification came up and now she’s really concerned.

@nikkiesona 3 года назад

Just tell her it's a tutorial.

@zacharysnyder5360 3 года назад

If she knew the truth she would be even more concerned....

@hayden8208 3 года назад

Oh oof

@green_toast9279 3 года назад

@@zacharysnyder5360 Probably right

@xatheris6159 3 года назад

That's why I use Do Not Disturb lmao

@Evan-nf8ep 3 года назад

Kevin: I’m going to make The Seed have as many children as possible! The Seed: I’m gay Kevin: I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that

@Dovah_Slayer 3 года назад

Evan I’m so lost

@conni-bun 3 года назад

@@Dovah_Slayer just use a gps

@hadriandwyer2191 3 года назад

@@conni-bun use a phone book

@zackattack9228 3 года назад

@@Dovah_Slayer try a compass,always points to home

@redrk9731 3 года назад

@@zackattack9228 what if it doesn't?

@fanpet3912 3 года назад

I love that his character was like 'dude please I'm gay' and he's just like 'let's compromise, you're bi now'

@untrustfool Год назад

“Being gay isn’t your choice, it’s mine”

@fuckthisstupidasshandleshit 7 месяцев назад

He'd be a great father!!

@Thegoldenaerobar2 5 месяцев назад

I mean getting a sti would do that too me too

@fuckthisstupidasshandleshit 5 месяцев назад

He'd be a great father!!

@tinyfreckle 3 года назад

"I mean she wasn't getting pregnant anyway" - Henry VIII at some point probably

@ikindoflikemangoes4951 3 года назад

Literally him divorcing Catherine of Aragon

@Xehanort10 3 года назад

@@ikindoflikemangoes4951 With Anne Boleyn it was "She gave me a daughter instead of a son so I'll just accuse her of being a witch and of being in an incestuous relationship with her brother and have her head chopped off."

@ikindoflikemangoes4951 3 года назад

Xehanort10 with Anne of Cleves “Nah I kind of see her as more of a sister tbh”

@sarooparoo25 3 года назад

Gotta love the six fandom

@maggienhan8725 3 года назад

We’re thriving, sisters 👯‍♀️

@rebecca5368 3 года назад

i don’t think the world was ready for THE SEED

@supersonictumbleweed 3 года назад

Coincidentally the Pack.png seed was found out today, lmao

@thedogsandwich 3 года назад

Montana definitely wasn’t

@thedogsandwich 3 года назад

A far cry 5 reference

@xendurr8180 3 года назад

Kayaba Akihiko, is that you?

@soup_souls 3 года назад

being in the same room as him gave you aids

@jgb2958 3 года назад

“I’ll call this one banana seed, this is the unloved one” I’m pretty sure all of them are unloved

@nikkiesona 3 года назад

I don't know, Bitch Seed did get a bit more attention than the others.

@Roozyj 3 года назад

It made me think of James Turner's Banana R. Bigwallet... then again, I don't think James has any 'loved' children in the Sims - only ones that are forgotten and ones that are actively disliked

@fragdiemilch 3 года назад

I love that the only reason Kevin didn't go with the gay pop-up was: "Well, I guess he's bisexual. The Seed needs to have babies."

@beardsntools 2 месяца назад

It would be funnier if he picked straight there xD

@wordtothewise9723 3 года назад

"Gave a few people HIV, went to the casino, lost three and a half million in cash, got depressed and died." - Kevin, 2020.

@stayhomewearamask3318 2 года назад

Me in 2021

@frooploops8139 3 года назад

“Yess, my syphilis is gone” *add to the list of sentences I didn’t think I’d ever hear in a callmekevin video*

@psauce9817 3 года назад

I don’t think any sentence imaginable is out of bounds for Kevin...

@negheve2428 3 года назад

syphilis turned into syphilwas

@frooploops8139 3 года назад

P Sauce you know what, that’s a valid point 😂

@aaronhurst4379 3 года назад

Da da da da da da da

@purrpower1187 3 года назад

I want to hear the list.

@dsnever3041 3 года назад

This whole video video can be summed up with ‘how can this get worse’

@humanperson4605 3 года назад

With Kevin, it can always get worse.

@AugustusVasilikos 3 года назад

A sacred honor has been bestowed upon you. A heart from Kevin himself

@yuki97kira 3 года назад

Thats all of his vids

@IamaPERSON 3 года назад

@Batman The Dark Knight Nice hypocrisy, when you said this exact comment, too

@BennyLlama39 3 года назад

Kevin: "How can this get any worse?" GrayStillPlays: "Hold my Natty Light! This is a job for Florida Man." 😀

@cezarsoba 3 года назад

I just love how instantly Irish he gets when he move into Ireland* in a game, and then he sees an Irish name like :"Oooh, Dc. Doherty"

@Choccoco 3 года назад

Only fans where Kevin reads nonsexual things the way he read The Seeds birth bio.

@casualcrisis6349 3 года назад

take the non out and i agree

@boredphoenix0 3 года назад

@@casualcrisis6349 weirdo

@casualcrisis6349 3 года назад

@@boredphoenix0 😳❤️

@boredphoenix0 3 года назад

@@casualcrisis6349 you made your comment even weirder

@yuki97kira 3 года назад

....i hope there werent any "bear noises"

@Frenchaboo 3 года назад

"I'm a horseradish with a nice hairstyle" Yeah, I've definitely had classmates like that in high school.

@pluto3194 3 года назад

I'm that classmate

@Armedngirly 3 года назад

I haven't watched the video yet and this quote is wild!

@Dark0neone 3 года назад

So, you were irish?

@thelambsauce7307 3 года назад

Sanjana Vinjamuri Unlucky lol

@zaciguess3700 3 года назад

'The Seed's Seed' is simultaneously one of the best and worst names Kevin has come up with and I love it.

@ashikjaman1940 3 года назад

Imagine if nut could bust a nut

@wasteoftime6781 3 года назад

@descendingmisery 3 года назад

@@ashikjaman1940 technically humans are nuts so ye

@UtopssAKAPJ 3 года назад

Kevin does come up with really bad ideas but they really work and makes me LMAO 😆🤣

@somm150 3 года назад

Seed Swallows

@rowan3732 Год назад

I use this man's Bitlife videos to fall asleep almost every night. This is not to say they are boring, this is simply to say that I am autistic insomniac and my brain has latched onto these videos and refuses to let go.

@cormachaha8365 Год назад

I don't know if I'm autistic but I always watch them to fall asleep

@Veronicaarya4 9 месяцев назад

Yes. Me too. And i'm autistic insomniac as well

@bethminers5709 2 месяца назад

i’m seeing this a year later putting on this video to go to sleep (and also autistic) - WHY ARE THERE SO MANY OF US

@jalejake4997 3 года назад

The Seed also donated the last of his money to charity he never updated his will

@ThreeGirls300 3 года назад

If you get them all eventually they'll start cancelling each other out

@samayosuguch.8137 3 года назад

The Seed: Has all STD's known to man, a lot through the majority of his life. Also The Seed: Dies from Natural Causes.

@TF2CrunchyFrog 3 года назад

Well, an illness _is_ considered natural causes.

@samayosuguch.8137 3 года назад

@@TF2CrunchyFrog Not really, Natural Causes usually can be due to a disease but only in cases like cancer or a heart disease, if the agent came from outside, like in a STD then it's not natural per say. Also, even in case of natural causes like cancer bitlife will actually go and say the character died of cancer.

@ashikjaman1940 3 года назад

@@reecewhitehouse2095 Directed by Larry David

@ashikjaman1940 3 года назад

@@reecewhitehouse2095 I thought you were making a Curb Your Enthusiasm joke :[

@ArcanistShion 3 года назад

@@samayosuguch.8137 you should not rely on Bitlife to tell you what type of death it’s classified in real life. By the way natural causes are more so classed as a “manner of death,” ranging from cancers to diseases.

@lorenzovakarian 3 года назад

"She's pregnant, I just had to give her a laptop" I just almost choked on my coffee 😂

@ourveneratedoverlorde1551 3 года назад

Original name: Derek Swallow Sexuality: In the Closet -_-

@random_meta 3 года назад

Lol

@beardsntools 2 месяца назад

Yeah he would get even more stds if he went with that lol

@abirdonalilactree 3 года назад

I wish Kevin would read an audio book in the voice he read the bio.

@Pynkfoxx_ 3 года назад

i wish i was a gunslinger agreed ☝🏽

@BoiWasTaken_ 6 месяцев назад

1:50 btw

@sheez7734 3 года назад

"Its not like I'm getting a new playstation or something, I need money to go to the doctor " Considering The Seed is American a playstation would be cheaper

@boatbayre7789 3 года назад

True

@kimberlymcnear3615 3 года назад

Yup

@fbhdqjwjrjgj 3 года назад

Lol

@fagioli7063 3 года назад

I'm dying 💀 Wait I hope not I don't have insurance coverage 😦

@Danielle-eu3li 3 года назад

“Sausage shark” is my new fav insult

@floogieboogie9054 3 года назад

"THE SEED NEEDS CARING" Absolutely killed me

@mimi-xx 3 года назад

i love how the seed tried to come out, kevin was like 'lol no' yet he was still surprised when he was closeted.

@random_meta 3 года назад

Well.. he was bisexual

@angelch8153 3 года назад

@@random_meta he had homosexual tendencies and lived as bisexual for his whole life nd died closeted- can relate

@abfs5470 2 года назад

@@angelch8153 you died?

@angelch8153 2 года назад

@@abfs5470 yeah sometimes

@aceofjacks7071 2 года назад

@@abfs5470 they died but got better

@darrencrissistotallyawesom918 3 года назад

My favorite thing to swallow is Kevin's content

@calistusjay60 3 года назад

I enjoy swallowing every drop... of his content.

@jakeperalta1691 3 года назад

@@calistusjay60 That sounds dirty in some way.

@calistusjay60 3 года назад

@@jakeperalta1691 Hell yeah it does.

@pinktribble 3 года назад

😂 Filth!!

@calistusjay60 3 года назад

@@pinktribble you know it

@creachurr 3 года назад

"derek swallows" derek is mlm

@aceofjacks7071 2 года назад

I still think that was unintentionally the best part

@memescrublord9614 3 года назад

“The seed needs caring” had me cry laughing

@biasedzombie6819 3 года назад

About the "oh yeah" voice, I feel the same way about candy crush's voice, specially when he says "delicious". Ant it's like this super deep voice, with all the cute background, I don't know man it creeps me out

@elihovemeyer380 3 года назад

Theory, The Seed went to the casino and purposefully lost all his money so his kids couldn't have it.

@ashikjaman1940 3 года назад

But it was going to charity

@elihovemeyer380 3 года назад

@@ashikjaman1940 true

@thaisacattoor1636 3 года назад

That's some Reginald Hargreaves shit right there

@random_meta 3 года назад

@@ashikjaman1940 Charity gets nothing!!!!

@kimberleywarren5785 9 месяцев назад

Watching this in a coffee shop was a bad idea, im fucking crying.

@JohnDoe-on6ru 3 года назад

"The Seed Seed, that might be the worst one yet!" Bitch Seed: Am I a joke to you? **Remembers his name is Bitch Seed** oh yeah I guess I am, nevermind."

@WarriorDan 3 года назад

Should’ve combined the name choices to “Derek swallows the seed”. Far better name tbh. No possible way that could be misinterpreted, no sir!

@HawkinTheNoob 3 года назад

Nah how about "The Seed Swallow Derek"

@calibricalypso 3 года назад

Derek The Seed Swallower

@miracleschmidt4342 3 года назад

would've worked really well considering he ended up being gay

@brianhood2363 3 года назад

I love how his brother is called “Pedro Seed” because it sounds nearly like a Frenchman saying “patricide”

@thenaturallyinsane1 3 года назад

Should have named him Pedro File

@tashkent561 3 года назад

@@thenaturallyinsane1 Oh no

@fayelockwood7656 3 года назад

12:39 - I love how Apple Seed has red hair

@petergriffin613 3 года назад

1:28 2003 Toyota Hilux

@gummibear3457 3 года назад

"The Seed is not greedy" He's greedy in children

@1ManRandom 3 года назад

But generous in deadly STDs!

@gummibear3457 3 года назад

@@1ManRandom true

@evilresident012 3 года назад

I like how Kevin moved to another country purely out of spite.

@Thisguyisright 3 года назад

Kevin you missed the fact 'The Seed' was conceived in the park on a picnic blanket.

@MonsieurBananaTheBetter 3 года назад

I-

@JessicasASMR 3 года назад

Kevin: I want baby Sinead: okay The Seed: You just want me for my pension die now

@theshadynorwegian6036 3 года назад

This is just the embodiment of kevin's statement "i'm a lover, not a fighter"

@RobinFlysHigh 3 года назад

5:02 Auto-captions: "I gave her a stiffness." Me: "Yes, that too."

@Dovah_Slayer 3 года назад

RobinFlysHigh I have no words for that

@billknabe6379 3 года назад

@@Dovah_Slayer ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-3kDeWLC_Zx4.html

@ej9975 3 года назад

14:27 Kevins wife gets kidnapped and is ransomed for €130,000. Kevin also having €3.6 million. does nothing

@manologamerss5801 3 года назад

6:15 Did you know that if a surgeon botches your surgeries multiple times before suing them you can sue them individually for each botched surgery?

@Jamie-qr8kk 3 года назад

I feel like Kevin is pressured to space his ads out don’t worry Kevin it’s fine make that cash

@PBCSandMarci 3 года назад

Noooooo I value my entertainment over kevin's wallet

@msh3loon975 3 года назад

@@PBCSandMarci will then screw your entertainment selfish

@NiceLOLZ 3 года назад

Selfish ass

@butterflybutterfly5947 3 года назад

@@msh3loon975 I think they were only joking

@rwholemilkisgood5050 3 года назад

xXBBB2003Xx same

@requiem4ameme2 3 года назад

The sperm bank in The Seed’s town has a strict “No Uggos” policy.

@ezra6898 3 года назад

are we just gonna skim over the "i was conceived in the park on a picnic blanket" or..?

@jackcollins5669 3 года назад

Kevin isn’t a boomer He’s just scared of social media and finally got the courage to use it and happened to find crab rave

@SirEmbsry 3 года назад

Kevin: "Swallows what Derek? Swallows what? Ooooooh"

@Subpar1224 3 года назад

My favorite thing to swallow is Kevin's content, which I "like and understand!"

@surfeit5910 3 года назад

And at 3:45, Kevin learns the harsh reality of the USA's healthcare system...

@jgb2958 3 года назад

Kevin just keeps giving us more reasons to call him daddy

@Auziee 3 года назад

Oh yeah, He is definatley my daddy.

@balls593 3 года назад

Pause

@diamondsword2234 3 года назад

We don’t do pauses round here

@YouKnowImOnMyPeriodYah Год назад

@@balls593 Play

@64bit-boi11 3 года назад

Kevin: how can this get worse?! BitLife: *starts laughing silently*

@RichardCheezman 3 года назад

14:36 "I don't know who you are or what you want. But I'm not coming, have a nice day"

@survivalveteran4031 3 года назад

"Today's sponsor is" tap tap tap tap tap tap "Enjoy the video."

@gtankcorsi8018 3 года назад

his name implies that he is the ONLY seed

@nightwolf9375 3 года назад

He IS the only seed, all others are merely imposters!

@nikkiesona 3 года назад

The real question is what grows if you plant him? I wonder if that's what happened after he died and they buried him...

@gtankcorsi8018 3 года назад

Nikkiesona who said we have to let him die before the planting?

@nikkiesona 3 года назад

@@gtankcorsi8018 I didn't say that exactly, but he'd probably be buried at that point. The opportunity to bury him alive was unfortunately missed.

@crossbones116 3 года назад

Fortunately, Kevin is immune to STD's IRL because he's a giant spider.

@v3r91l7 3 года назад

Just subscribe to da spidahs

@user-hb1qo8ms5p 3 года назад

Don’t out him like that, it’s rude 😡😡😡

@jardaysolar33 3 года назад

Useless Tomato 2 hold up-

@IamaPERSON 3 года назад

@@user-hb1qo8ms5p i feel like I've seen you before

@KapGaming07 2 года назад

His little dance at 7:21 is honestly adorable

@something8245 Год назад

5:56 *oh they'll add him to the list alright*

@arno_groenewald 3 года назад

Looks like a Crusader Kings 2-3 challenge: get a feck ton of children.

@erikgrant6760 3 года назад

I read that as "feck a ton of children". Applies just the same.

@Dark0neone 3 года назад

@@erikgrant6760 well to be fair I've never played as the pope. Maybe he can :^)

@erikgrant6760 3 года назад

@@Dark0neone The best you can be is Pope-by-proxy

@doriangrayshusband549 3 года назад

So did my BitLife character- I was trying to get the achievement of having 100 lovers in one lifetime And I had completed it by age 32 And the year after, my character died of AIDS

@uwillbeefound6439 3 года назад

That's very in character...

@doriangrayshusband549 3 года назад

@@uwillbeefound6439 :3

@calistusjay60 3 года назад

I love how making The straight just wasn't an option for Kevin so he made him bisexual lmao

@novabelladonna5886 3 года назад

it'd be a bit harsh to have him come out as straight after having "homosexual tendancies" haha though it was also harsh to have 10 kids and not look after any of them... oh and spread STIs Nevermind...

@kimuires 3 года назад

Nova Belladonna And grow old without ever having a boyfriend-

@FBIagentObama 3 года назад

10:39 *Kevin: “let’s do a cool dance”* *Also Kevin: * PROCEEDS TO HAVE A SEIZURE **

@MsMaggyW 3 года назад

As someone who has seizures, I can confirm they're not as scary as Kevin's dancing. o.O

@FBIagentObama 3 года назад

@@MsMaggyW LMAO

@busesimsek2105 3 года назад

The dance bit was from an older video so I saw it already but I lose it every time

@YourDad-dh6fj 3 года назад

CRAB RAVE

@billknabe6379 3 года назад

ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-3kDeWLC_Zx4.html

@NeedSomething2845 3 года назад

Well y'know what they say, gotta catch em' all.

@Kelly_C 3 года назад

"i need to sort the hiv issue" might be my new favorite kevin quote

@ezra6898 3 года назад

kevin abruptly dancing is my new favorite thing

@ApolloK 3 года назад

"Derek Swallows what? OOH" - kevin, 2020

@rockinatmidnight 3 года назад

"I want to have as many kids as possible" Well you are 100% Irish, Kevin

@midgematic8659 3 года назад

“Nice, I have doctor money!” -Struggling young American under similar circumstances

@AdamAtYourService 3 года назад

Probably one of the most evil characters Kevin has made to date.

@OfficialGizmoworks 3 года назад

I can't tell if "craziness down below" is a good thing or a bad thing

@plumchicken 3 года назад

evidently it was bad

@haroldkarloff6799 3 года назад

Yes

@tomrichmond8388 3 года назад

It’s a good thing

@Mr-Green0 11 месяцев назад

It's a major red flag.

@wmloxley 3 года назад

I love the prospect of Kevin’s sponsor looking at this video and going, “Yep. Okay.”

@sirtrolleador 3 года назад

If you want to "cheat" you can choose Spain, the healthcare and education is free so you dont need to work to be healthy

@rebound1340 2 года назад

Damn Kevin took this advice irl that's crazy

@whytho8856 3 года назад

that laugh at 3:17 is so cute 😂

@jay-sansings5024 3 года назад

"Comment below with your favorite thing to swallow" Me: looking at my energy drink, Mnt Dew and lack of true food. "Uhm...... anything that will destroy my body later in life-"

@anniedangerface 3 года назад

Not Mountain Dew! You must have a stomach of steel.

@jay-sansings5024 3 года назад

@@anniedangerface Its more like Mnt Dew Code Red, but lol, I cant stand the original

@Carla-wk3mz 3 года назад

Same lmfao

@sergalsandwich9521 3 года назад

root beer

@Dovah_Slayer 3 года назад

So cum? (If you hate me for that joke that’s fine)

@k.k.slider3820 3 года назад

Day 20 of asking Kevin to play the Papa's games

@hannahhester8376 3 года назад

YES!!!

@jacobconrad3176 3 года назад

That is an amazing idea

@josuerkrr 3 года назад

Kevin + Poofesure combo maybe? My two fav youtubers ever

@Grape-Juice 3 года назад

5 bucks if he spits in the food

@k.k.slider3820 3 года назад

@shegorath how about yes 👀

@HashBrown78923 3 года назад

Bro “I am a Cancer. My name.. is The Seed” had me dead lmaooo

@naht2606 3 года назад

7:22 that little dance KILLED ME 🥺

@Thenoobestgirl 3 года назад

Moral of the day: apparently fatherhood is addictive. I mean, the part of getting to say you have a kid, not the actual taking care of said kid.

@bonniewanstreet6003 3 года назад

I kept asking myself how can this get any worse? Then I remembered who’s channel I was watching

@UtopssAKAPJ 3 года назад

just needs 4 babies named Joseph, John, Jacob and Faith 😁 the Seed family from Far Cry 5 😁

@hotscottrulz 2 года назад

The Seed had a face only a mother could love. A very loving mother. With terrible eyesight. Who only sees her son in poorly-lit rooms.

@sophiafox314 3 года назад

Your videos remind me of the part in the show where they say “at least it can’t get worse” and the world immediately bursts into flames.

@felixkalenskyy93 3 года назад

The blessing of our dear leader, Jim Pickens shall protect you from STD’s Kevin!

@kateyboring413 2 года назад

7:22 : *Kevin doing a little dance* “He got hired he’s a porn actor now”

@A_Salted_Fishe 3 года назад

I was in an accident in January and started playing this game while recovering in hospital. Can confirm the sound effects turned some heads

@NoobGyver 3 года назад

Imagine your parents naming you The Seed

@violetlover3628 2 года назад

Imagine your parents being named the seed

@ainenicholgain7827 3 года назад

Kevin teaching about Irish names, despite the fact he called me Ine on Twitch a while ago... 😂 I R O N Y

@thisismyusername7282 3 года назад

I love how right before he died he lost all his money at a casino to ensure none of his abandoned children get an inheritance

@AniGaAG 3 года назад

Guardian Tales: "We wanna sponsor a video of yours!" Kevin: "Hey, sure! Thanks!" _Makes sponsored video entirely about collecting STDs_

@kimarna Год назад

It is on brand for Kevin tbh, they knew the risks

@AlexdoesstuffTV 3 года назад

Dwayne "The Seed" Jhonson

@valeriacotofana2748 3 года назад

Can’t wait to see what Call Me Turg says today

@catsoup69 3 года назад

I played this and all my stats were less than 10%, got struck by lighting and everything went to 100%, 2 years later got struck by lightning again and they all went to less than 5%