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"BLIND JOKES" 😂 JIMMY CARR  

Stand up Geniuses
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25 сен 2024

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Комментарии : 171   
@stevebonafede2777
@stevebonafede2777 7 месяцев назад
He and Ricky Gervais should do a show together. These guys are hysterical
@johanandhira5429
@johanandhira5429 6 месяцев назад
Their shorts come right after another is the best we can get right now
@alice-dl6mf
@alice-dl6mf 5 месяцев назад
They also kinda sound similar
@liamadams9846
@liamadams9846 5 месяцев назад
​@@alice-dl6mf not really, Carr is posh English and Gervais is cockney which is low class
@moneyandcharm
@moneyandcharm 5 месяцев назад
Totally
@riqraq007
@riqraq007 4 месяца назад
Ricky Gervais jokes aren't on Carrs level, Gervais is only popular because he roasted people at the grammy's
@JesusFrrr
@JesusFrrr 7 месяцев назад
"who picks up the guide dogs shit 😲" 😭😭
@sabijoli
@sabijoli 7 месяцев назад
funny enough they are commanded to do their business-it’s not arbitrary
@LewisNuke92
@LewisNuke92 7 месяцев назад
​@@sabijolithat sounds kinda cruel
@CaptinEtho
@CaptinEtho 7 месяцев назад
it's the same as telling your kid to go the bathroom before a car ride, you do it preemptively so they just don't need to in places they can't
@rae2-j
@rae2-j 7 месяцев назад
ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-KS0j2I7sQ_s.htmlsi=66OJ112NJMhBT3rK
@pwuk
@pwuk 6 месяцев назад
Saw it happen once, the owner did a proper job
@JesseReimer-dm1qp
@JesseReimer-dm1qp 4 месяца назад
"It took a bit to get her husbands voice right" took me by surprise
@donchamers6916
@donchamers6916 7 месяцев назад
That last joke really had me 😂😂😂😂😂. Brilliant
@Hemen_Aka_ELIZTRX
@Hemen_Aka_ELIZTRX 4 месяца назад
I didnt get the joke
@xminatox7712
@xminatox7712 4 месяца назад
@@Hemen_Aka_ELIZTRXhe pretended to be the blind girls husband, meaning he was tricking her to cheat by pretending he was her husband
@LonEr4evah
@LonEr4evah 4 месяца назад
​@@xminatox7712 I see know 😋 thanks!
@lamaidalaakapinkcrocodile7527
@lamaidalaakapinkcrocodile7527 2 месяца назад
I saw that joke alot. I mean a Lot
@shezakillrqueen
@shezakillrqueen 3 месяца назад
The only comedian that never fails to surprise you. There's always a joke, you didn't see coming 😂
@robgreenwood6939
@robgreenwood6939 5 месяцев назад
They're trained not to shit!! 😂😂😂
@jakesinclair7051
@jakesinclair7051 3 месяца назад
You couldn't train me not shit if my life depended on it
@aabidamn
@aabidamn 2 месяца назад
No. The OWNERS are trained to have their dogs take a shit before they leave their house.
@Skish16
@Skish16 4 месяца назад
There's a tree over there 😂😂😂😂
@Youainit
@Youainit 2 месяца назад
Killed me 😂
@aabidamn
@aabidamn 2 месяца назад
Be a dick about it.
@jeffdittrich6778
@jeffdittrich6778 3 месяца назад
My dad was blind. Every month he went to a meeting of blind veterans. They alwas shared blind jokes and he would share them with me. I miss that.
@kiantongho498
@kiantongho498 3 месяца назад
@punnup3452
@punnup3452 6 месяцев назад
If I'm correct guide dogs are specially trained to hold their bathroom breaks and some are even trained to use public bathrooms
@plazima
@plazima 3 месяца назад
Lmao no, they can contain them selves very well but they shit outside
@parleymanderson7527
@parleymanderson7527 3 месяца назад
So they're better than some people. Yeah, I've seen some horror shits.
@jabeesguerra4898
@jabeesguerra4898 5 месяцев назад
Didn't expect that opening salvo. 😂😂😂
@chaymaajerry1442
@chaymaajerry1442 5 месяцев назад
Plot twist, the blind guy steps in the dog shit 😂😂😂
@OnlyPedosCanTagMe
@OnlyPedosCanTagMe 4 месяца назад
😐😐😐😐😐
@OR-xs7fy
@OR-xs7fy 3 месяца назад
😂
@paulmoon3347
@paulmoon3347 3 месяца назад
All legitimate questions actually..😂
@The-Singularity-M87
@The-Singularity-M87 3 месяца назад
I'm going to tell you right now when this man comes to New York City I'm buying a ticket and going to go see him. He is out of f****** control😅😅😅😅😅
@JavaAndroid
@JavaAndroid 7 месяцев назад
Gervais level mate: you got there!
@BampotTheScot__
@BampotTheScot__ 5 месяцев назад
No, Gervais is Carr level.
@dcmastermindfirst9418
@dcmastermindfirst9418 2 месяца назад
Nah Jimmy smashes gervais
@Inalienablerights15
@Inalienablerights15 2 месяца назад
Hey, he's blind, but he can still SMELL".
@Wyleyshort-jm7qs
@Wyleyshort-jm7qs 5 месяцев назад
Im dying 😂😂😂😂😂
@simonhill2797
@simonhill2797 6 месяцев назад
I was just thinking that the other day !!! Who picks up guide dog crap ????😂😂
@420Stoner66
@420Stoner66 6 месяцев назад
Blind man went on a rampage in a shop smashing everything of the shelves with a stick. The shop assistant ran up to him and said "Sir, please stop! Do you require help with anything" He said "No, I am just looking, Ill call you if I have any questions".
@fazergazer
@fazergazer 2 месяца назад
The best of the best ❤
@amygerstle2037
@amygerstle2037 2 месяца назад
Hit and miss operation 😂😂😂
@scottculli7851
@scottculli7851 4 месяца назад
This man is one of the geniuses of comedy
@davidvqughan
@davidvqughan 4 месяца назад
He's an asshole ...but an extremely funny one 😅
@IAmLovesLight
@IAmLovesLight 7 месяцев назад
Hilarious. Best part being clip is devoid his smug chuckle. 😅 He's funny but that affect makes a little Jimmy go a long way 😂 Tehe...a little jimmy 🤣☠️
@LarsRyeJeppesen
@LarsRyeJeppesen 5 месяцев назад
Literally laughing out loud while walking outside here in Copenhagen.
@Kian987DM
@Kian987DM 3 месяца назад
he's not a comedian. he's brilliant 🎉
@KoolNaide-69420
@KoolNaide-69420 Месяц назад
Dammit he's got a point
@jtpaar1732
@jtpaar1732 7 месяцев назад
Why does this guy look like Richard Nixon?
@freezinginferno2106
@freezinginferno2106 7 месяцев назад
“ these disabled people have had a too good for too long” - Dave Chapelle
@JessLynnC
@JessLynnC 7 месяцев назад
😂😂😂
@GyppoMarx
@GyppoMarx 6 месяцев назад
Takes one to know one
@JessLynnC
@JessLynnC 6 месяцев назад
@GyppoMarx it's jokes. Idk why people today feel the need to take jokes seriously lol. 🙃 ❄️
@SkyBlueTT-vv9id
@SkyBlueTT-vv9id 3 месяца назад
This guy is the master of corny 1 liners, makes me laugh everytime
@agastyamody9704
@agastyamody9704 7 месяцев назад
Amazing
@mikechristian-vn1le
@mikechristian-vn1le 7 месяцев назад
The Blind, and their dogs, are taught. The blind person runs her hand down the dog's spine, after the dog poops. The cover their hand with a plastic bag, and pull the bag inside out, and tie it shut. I had a blind friend.
@Will-ev3pc
@Will-ev3pc 7 месяцев назад
Does the dog nuzzle them a certain way to let them know they are about to poo? What if the dog poo's while you are standing at a crosswalk? Is the dog trained to not waddle while they poo? My dog will walk around a bit while she does her business.
@kesshami
@kesshami 7 месяцев назад
​@@Will-ev3pc they will usually do their business when off duty but I imagine you get really swnsitive to when your dog stops moving
@mikechristian-vn1le
@mikechristian-vn1le 7 месяцев назад
@@Will-ev3pc I'm no expert, but they start out by mostly using dogs like golden retrievers, which are well behaved, smart, and easy to train, and the puppies are raised in trained but normal homes until they are one year old, when they go to The Seeing Eye, I think that that's what it's called, where the dogs are first trained, before their new human partners join the training. Maybe that's a week, maybe about two, the humans and dogs trained together. It was around 1990 that I had that blind friend, but she went to get her first seeing dog, and met blind guy there, too, which is very common. I later had another blind friend,, but he didn't have a dog.
@mikechristian-vn1le
@mikechristian-vn1le 7 месяцев назад
@@Will-ev3pc oh, I don't remember how the dog let's them know, but I do remember that my friend was the one who would bring the subject up. The one and only time that I walked her dog, at the mall, with my then girlfriend, the dog didn't go, probably because I, a near stranger, made the dog nervous.
@Will-ev3pc
@Will-ev3pc 7 месяцев назад
@@mikechristian-vn1le Fascinating! Thank you for taking the time to answer my questions. I appreciate this new found knowledge on pooing service animals. 😆. I never thought I would end up compiling a sentence like that one, but there it is, and I'm glad it happened.
@SJC-c5k
@SJC-c5k 4 месяца назад
This guy is funny!!!
@MartinYen942
@MartinYen942 4 месяца назад
This was most brutal special I ever witnessed
@AbyssalDragon42
@AbyssalDragon42 4 месяца назад
Acting as get husband to sleep with her That's wicked evil
@MaXKX11
@MaXKX11 4 месяца назад
He didnt say that he slept with her
@AbyssalDragon42
@AbyssalDragon42 4 месяца назад
@@MaXKX11 Well what do you think he did?
@verti3213
@verti3213 4 месяца назад
It's just a joke. Besides there is more to humans than visual appearance. Blind person would recognize impostor.
@AbyssalDragon42
@AbyssalDragon42 3 месяца назад
@@verti3213 that depends how good the imitation is
@zakiakhtar7447
@zakiakhtar7447 3 месяца назад
"Took me ages to get her husband's voice right"
@thecameraman6275
@thecameraman6275 3 месяца назад
"sawr" 😂😂
@freesbrisbane
@freesbrisbane 6 месяцев назад
Funny how blind jokes are cool, but the woke media goes off the handle about a deaf joke. 🤷🏼‍♂️
@Doggone7134
@Doggone7134 5 месяцев назад
My brother in Christ you are making up problems in your head
@milkboccle
@milkboccle 3 месяца назад
The dogs are trained to poo on command, makes it much easier easier to deal with
@dp-g5i
@dp-g5i 7 месяцев назад
Not a fan of Jimmy Carr but that last joke was great
@darrinaspery378
@darrinaspery378 2 месяца назад
I was in Sydney and seen a sign ( Blind people cross here ) 🤷‍♂️
@aarondobbs2958
@aarondobbs2958 4 месяца назад
Damnit i wrote a joke very similar to this.... fuck me i gotta scrap it now. Thanks jimmy 😂
@GyppoMarx
@GyppoMarx 6 месяцев назад
Shit or miss
@SuperDem1972
@SuperDem1972 7 месяцев назад
He is all one liner gags, i much prefer story telling comedians who lead up the the punchline.
@plazima
@plazima 3 месяца назад
I’m blind with a guide dog, idk where he shits, and I won’t be picking that shit up.
@hammertime9183
@hammertime9183 6 месяцев назад
Bill burrs jokes about the blind is fkin A. How do the blind know when to stop wiping after taking a shit? Do they show it to the dog and it barks once for keep going and twice to stop?
@maureenparker6185
@maureenparker6185 7 месяцев назад
Oh that's nasty
@gameboys6961
@gameboys6961 2 месяца назад
Bro is way too mean
@GuruOfwisdom
@GuruOfwisdom 7 месяцев назад
😂😂😂😂
@Cantbuyathrill
@Cantbuyathrill 6 месяцев назад
Jimmy Carr is going straight to Hell. And Im buying front-row seats there.
@irdcs
@irdcs 5 месяцев назад
I sawer a guy too
@DarnellMarguerite-mz1oc
@DarnellMarguerite-mz1oc 5 месяцев назад
I can’t see it happening
@Clem35530
@Clem35530 4 месяца назад
You don't see the point of walking the dog. You might be blind then. Go walk a dog. :)
@jordanprince3778
@jordanprince3778 7 месяцев назад
This guy was definitely bullied in high school and I'm glad
@darioburatovich2240
@darioburatovich2240 7 месяцев назад
Adversity develops humour....😄🇦🇷
@pixelman2626
@pixelman2626 7 месяцев назад
And yet who's laughing now?
@xtremelymoderate829
@xtremelymoderate829 5 месяцев назад
​@@pixelman2626 Definitely not Jimmy. He's the one who makes the jokes.
@themooseman9953
@themooseman9953 4 месяца назад
I’m blind to this humor
@abudujana13
@abudujana13 7 месяцев назад
😂🤣😂🤣🤣🤣
@JaimeNoeGrajeda777
@JaimeNoeGrajeda777 2 месяца назад
🌲
@2E0UUU
@2E0UUU 3 месяца назад
If I type what he said will I get thousands of likes?
@percyfree9831
@percyfree9831 7 месяцев назад
Yehhp
@jakejenkins8127
@jakejenkins8127 4 месяца назад
Sorry Jimmy if you were blind would you have a toupee
@A4arab
@A4arab 4 месяца назад
No the dog is actually walking the blind guy(PS: the dog can see)
@uncopino
@uncopino 4 месяца назад
i’m pretty sure everyone knows
@clankcrimson9413
@clankcrimson9413 5 месяцев назад
"Being an American means to me, looking at a disabled person and knowing deep down they deserve it" - Tim Dillon
@devonflaherty1380
@devonflaherty1380 3 месяца назад
Bro thinks he’s funny bruh
@smedleyfarnsworth263
@smedleyfarnsworth263 7 месяцев назад
Was that supposed to be funny?
@seldomsane5278
@seldomsane5278 7 месяцев назад
Yes.
@smedleyfarnsworth263
@smedleyfarnsworth263 7 месяцев назад
@@seldomsane5278 It failed then.
@seldomsane5278
@seldomsane5278 7 месяцев назад
@@smedleyfarnsworth263 I guess it's a matter of opinion. No one is so high and mighty they can't be made fun of.
@__-lj3cj
@__-lj3cj 7 месяцев назад
You know it is 🙄 it's a comedy show, if it's not your thing just scroll on lol, why you gotta be salty enough to type out a comment
@scotttchviski6706
@scotttchviski6706 7 месяцев назад
I'm guessing, by the laughter, yes.
@petercarr7996
@petercarr7996 7 месяцев назад
Yawn
@tooyoungtobeold8756
@tooyoungtobeold8756 7 месяцев назад
Tosser
@Unga_Bunga
@Unga_Bunga 7 месяцев назад
This ain't Tinder mate no reason to list your preferences.
@drew8958
@drew8958 7 месяцев назад
The most unfunny person. Not intelligent humour just piss taking like I used to witness at school...
@seldomsane5278
@seldomsane5278 7 месяцев назад
🤣 need a tissue?
@podbenn_2605
@podbenn_2605 7 месяцев назад
​@@seldomsane5278 Wait! You did mean for wiping off the tears😢 yeah!? 😊 Slán, 🤭☘P0D🍀🖖
@drew8958
@drew8958 7 месяцев назад
@@seldomsane5278 Nope - just maybe Ricky G for some intelligent humorous spin !
@matthewdefrancis7679
@matthewdefrancis7679 7 месяцев назад
Good christy Jimmy carr is so lame and cheesy. The fact that he is considered to be one of the better comedians right now is absurd. He's literal garbage. Are you people just fooled by the accent? I don't get it
@drsteelhead7278
@drsteelhead7278 7 месяцев назад
What's the matter with you? Are you blind?
@Graphell
@Graphell 7 месяцев назад
Nobody cares about his accent, heck nobody cares about accents. Any other constructive critic ?
@davidkirby-jx9xp
@davidkirby-jx9xp 7 месяцев назад
Akin to Jerry Lewis being a big hit in France, Or David Hasselhoff in Germany. Famous for being famous. I'm no fan of Carr either..tells recycled jokes..
@eliasvivancos4381
@eliasvivancos4381 7 месяцев назад
He is good, come on. Another thing is if you dont like him.
@levijeankins4484
@levijeankins4484 4 месяца назад
@blindsurfer
@fackjugoethe3
@fackjugoethe3 6 месяцев назад
His eyed are scary...
@4vepvik781
@4vepvik781 7 месяцев назад
😂😂😂
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