All of my "normal" feminist friends got loudly confused when I got married (to an amazing man I adore), left my (horribly stressful and dangerous) job and then dropped me like a hot potato when I (planned and joyfully anticipated) got pregnant. It definitely stung, but we're happy, our house is peaceful and comfortable and we live on one income. It's a high income, but we save a huge amount of it to put into our mortgage, so it sure could be less. Anyway, if anyone else lost friends over a decision like this, you aren't alone! ♥️
my daughter is a stay-at-home mom and they do not use social media or TV her kids are smart, and happy. She loves her husband he supports her and her values.
When I had my twins in 2000 I quit my job as an RN. It was a scary move to lose the income, but I have an amazing husband that made it work. I homeschooled my girls, they're both now married and doing so well. I wouldn't change it at all. We cherish those years we had them at home. Just quit!
@@NadiaPink I did not until high school years. I did return 1-2 shifts a week when they were in high school. I had to take the refresher course to return.
I recently quit my almost 100k job and it was the best mental relief of my life. I am now home with both kiddos. Homeschooling my oldest and just enjoying my toddler. Your channel has helped me so much to have peace. Peace money would never have given me. Great work!
It is unreasonable to ask women to do a full time job and raise children as well. It is also unreasonable to allow women to be abandoned after the children are grown, as is the case with no-blame divorce.
@@chriswatson1698From what I understand, in California, the woman would get half. Unless, he can prove that she didn’t do the chores or child-rearing. If you are a stay-at-home mom, that is a job. The best thing is to stay together. The grandparent phase is just as important as the parent phase. You get to enjoy the grandkids together.
@@user-ks3qr5fk6m So her husband can halve her living standard at any time, on no grounds at all, against her wishes. While she is caring for children, she is not acquiring knowledge, experience and skills that are of value in the workplace. So long as no blame divorce is in operation, it is necessary for every woman to invest in her own earning capacity, not that of a husband who is entitled to take half of everything to share with another woman.
I've always felt the judgmental attitude of career women toward women who choose to put their family first very sad. As you say people make decisions based on their own circumstances. I do think knowing what you want before getting married is so important. I knew from my own experience of having a working mother (not a career but working to help my dad support the family) that I didn't want that for myself. I met a young man who had a plan and goals for his future. He wanted a family and would be able to support the family without my outside employment. My husband says the best decision he ever made was to marry me. My best decision was to marry him. I wanted to be a traditional wife and mother. I was never much for aprons. For the most part after 47 years of marriage things have worked well. I could see from the beginning of the "feminist movement" that the outcome would be destruction of the family and the children would be hurt the most. We have overcome challenges but overall have had a great life with wonderful sons and I wouldn't trade a minute of the time I spent with them. That time and those memories are priceless.
I would have to argue with you that it is 'not real' to be a tradwife. I very much don a dress, put my hair up & makeup on. I wear an apron everyday, all day. (no heels, due to a back injury, but....) I make myself look nice for my husband & children everyday. I don't wear a dress every single day, but I can pretty much complete all tasks - garden, house, & barn with a skirt/dress & makeup. I am ready for anything every day. I bake bread, can/preserve, bake pies, sell bouquets, & homeschool. WE aRe out there. I just don't have time or the skills to make a video of myself doing it. My hubby says - no legging, no pjs, no sweats. I am a professional at what I do & I SHOW up for my job.
If you dont have to work outside the home. You really should't. It benefits everyone for mom to be home with kids. Ive done both. I stayed home with pur daughter till she was in school full time and now im ready to come back home and its been less than 2 years of me working outside the home. I hate it, and its made everything really hard. So we made a plan to get me back home soon full time.
I agree that children are better off with a parent available as much as possible. But men and society do not value child care as much as they value money-earning. Too many women end up living in poverty.
I wish I considered all of this beforehand motherhood. I am now a mom and much prefer to be home with my 7 month old. However with all these debts, I now feel forced to back in the rat race just to clear debt. I don’t want to leave my child.
The TikTok Trad wife trend doesn’t show anything real but RU-vid has been a great inspiration for me. Stay at Home Moms on RU-vid like Kayla Buell, Abby Lindquist and Bethany Fontaine show their real lives and are inspiring at the same time. My mother never taught me any home making skills growing up so I’m grateful for the Stay at Home Moms of RU-vid who have taught me lots of good mom hacks over the past 4 years. I can also relate to having one’s inner circle be totally confused by my life choices. 😂 All my friends are career moms and I know they think I’m very weird for choosing to live the way I live. I’ve always had a personality that likes to go my own way so that made it easier to handle people’s opinions. It’s still annoying at times when my own mother doesn’t think me staying home and homeschooling my daughter is something worth doing. I know my Mom would be more proud of me if I was more “normal” and focused on a career. I get the validation I need from podcasts like this one. Thank you Suzanne for all that you do, I consider you one of my mentors during this stage of life. 😄
Madeliene VanMarter is also one of my new favourite RU-vid Stay at Home Moms. Madeliene is 25 and has four kids under 5 years old. I look up to her so much and get many good mom hacks and tips from her RU-vid channel. I’m 37 and a Stay at Home Mom with one daughter. I love learning mom hacks and tips from moms on RU-vid with more than one child. We need mentoring and inspiration as moms too, just because we give birth to a baby doesn’t mean we know instinctively how to be a good happy Stay at Home Mother. 😂
God bless you for what your doing is amazing work teaching young women like us in 30s how to take care of your own family is the first priority.Thank you.
I’m a man. A stay at home mom is like finding gold in todays world.. sadly I made tons of money to provide this and can’t find a woman who wants a traditional relationship…
😂 I laughed but also cried. Because when my SIL was experiencing the crying, frustration, fear, and stress right before her 2nd was born, I said a version of the "Just quit your job!" With an attempt of more tact, but it resulted in me getting ghosted and cut out of her life. She did go back to work, had horrible PPD, and ended up taking antidepressants and seeing a therapist. She felt like I was calling her a bad mom (I was not), I felt like she didn't see my decision to stay home as a legitimate and deliberate career move on my part and that it was inferior to working and supporting our family income, and I was never allowed to 1) apologize for offending her, 2) explain my position, and it hurt. So don't do that. Also, renting means you don't have $200,000+ in debt, so... Technically, you're financially free where those strapped into a mortgage aren't. You CAN make it on one income, but it does require lifestyle choices, opportunity cost, and being intentional and selective about your spending and cost of living. And many people aren't willing to make those big decisions.
So sorry your SIL doesn't have the maturity to hear your words. Many don't see extended family as their first line of defense in this harried world. I wish I had a wise SIL such as yourself. it sounds equally isolating for your brother as well because his family is spiraling out of control.
My previous long term relationship hated going to work, but flatly refused to quit. The reason was that she did not trust me to be the breadwinner. I failed to see that early on and wasted a lot of time on that relationship
"did not trust me to be the breadwinner'. Perhaps she feared that, if you did have a higher income, you would be more attractive to younger women and she would be dumped.
@@chriswatson1698far stretch , i feared similar only because I witnessed my mom being stuck in a terrible marriage with 5 kids where leaving was jot an option. Not once did it come across to me that I don't trust my husband and that he may leave.
In the bitter end you just cannot have it both. Raising a child or children is deeply satisfying & naturally challenging. Totally worth it but essential your man needs to be intelligent & sensitive to your needs. Immature men will be always abandoned.
If I were her I would consider moving to an area where the cost of living is not so high. That’s what we did so we could afford to buy a home. I quit my job and decided to stay home. It was a scary decision to make because I was going to be 2 1/2 hours away from family. But we moved to a place where it’s more conservative, less traffic (which means less stress!) and a family friendly community with great schools. I am so much happier and look forward to visiting family, we get along much better! 😊.
We're at an age where we don't need to look far for mass lay- offs.. what happens when the dream of the perfect life.. falls apart.. should we insure ourselves with mediocre lives.. to ensure the safety of our family..
Mediocre life? I think my mediocre life is amazing. I’ve watched people buying all their crap and wasting money and filling their lives with stuff then not wanting to be in their mess. We brought nothing into this world and it’s sure we’ll take nothing out. I’m thankful not to be homeless or in a Russian Gulag.😉
@@jillanglemyer3168 mediocre or rather substandard life is when you can't afford health insurance and happen to be a medical emergency in case the single earning member loses the job..
@@subhashreevenkatesh3868 , that is something I understand. If you’re not poor enough to get your health care paid or rich enough to pay it, it’s really difficult. It can be devastating.
This advice is dated and suitable for upper middle class households..Assess your situation and then decide if you need to quit your damn job.. you are the best judge! You are at an age of mass layoffs .. a single income is riskier than you think..
most people don't have an In Come problem, they have an out Go problem😅 I didn't take it that the woman was complaining about lack of money, just to be realistic
On a more practical note concerning renting vs. buying a house. There's a case being made that housing prices are going to fall - depending on where you live. I follow a channel called Reventure Consulting. I'm not endorsing him, but he has an interesting argument. Since I'm not in the market for a house I haven't gone to the trouble to take a deeper look. The point is that if you can save $100,000.00 by doing nothing so much the better. It's a market and like any other market has ups and downs. Probably nothing a Harvard grad can't figure out. I don't rent, but sometimes wish I did. A while back we had a gas leak, so I called the plumber only to be told, "We've told our receptionist not to accept any service calls." What the hell?! This is in the oil field and it's sucking up so much labor that the plumber didn't have anyone to do the work. So, I had to do it. What a pain. If your landlord is worth half a damn, this is the kind of thing you don't have to worry about.
@@BGFitnessNY They want romance, absent of their childhood credulity indoctrination to believe is sky daddies, having family other "trad" stuff. They lack what Dr. Helen Fisher describes as The Builder personality type. Most at this channel, do have The Builder type and can't understand that free-thinking types don't want any of that.
So you mean they want a modern relationship. One devoid of biology and natural world ( babies. Lineage. Last name. Paternal instinct. Blood line … ) But I understand… porn and money and video games and lust otta make you feel good on your deathbed 😂 AKA selfishness don’t win you any awards at the pearly gates
I just want to say when your blessed to be stay home and your husband works long hours or 2 jobs, thank him and honor him. You don’t need “me time” and he shouldn’t be expected to do your work too.
I’ve never run across someone who couldn’t rearrange and live on one income. It might not be glamorous. Luxury. Fun But you can get what you want if you want it. The sad truth is people want it all and aren’t willing to relocate or have the man switch jobs to have kids. They don’t want it bad enough. And they will die a very sad life when there isn’t their kids around them on their deathbed…. People otta think about their life choices far greater then the next trip coming up…
yup. my husband & kids are the most important thing in my life. I will never regret the things I 'missed out on' . ... I won't be on my deathbed lamenting that I never got to go to Disney or have a new car every 4 yr.s. Priorities!
Children's needs are unpredictable and often inconvenient. The only fair division of parental responsibility is for both parents to absorb equally, the inconvenience of child care. And for both parents have the same opportunity to acquire skills and experience that are of value in the workplace. When a woman takes time out from her job, or quits her job, for child care, she is investing in her husband's earning power at the expense of her own. Yet she has no legal right to the income that she is supporting. Her husband is entitled to abandon her at any time on no grounds at all and force her into single parenthood. If she retains custody of her children, she will continue to invest in her husband's earning capacity, by relieving him of all the inconvenience of the care of his own children. But she won't get the benefit of that investment. The career into which she had invested so much of her effort will benefit some other woman.
Lmao any man who marries in this environment is a fool. A man can live well very frugally. Let these women join the rat race and drink themselves to death
wow. this is the most bean counting comment I have ever seen. Childrearing is a spiritual thing. And not everything is about money. very warped sense of view here. And husbands are not 'entitled' to abandon their wives any old time they want, unless atheist.
Your disavowal of the "Trad Wife" movement that is growing amongst the newest generation is surprising given who your Aunt is. Your Aunt, Phyllis Schlafly, not only LIVED & PROMOTED being a Traditional Wife and Mother (quite successfully I might add) but was INSTRUMENTAL in "single-handedly" defeating the Equal Rights Amendment in the 1970s while doing so! I feel almost betrayed by this disavowal inasmuch as you've made a career out of countering this 3rd Wave Feminist Agenda. "The home is a comfortable Concentration Camp" - Betty Freidan, God-mother of 3rd Wave Feminism
