Borderline Personality Disorder and the Favourite Person Relationship 

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My favorite person left me on 18th October. The day he left, I became insane then I went to psychiatrist and got diagnosed for BPD. Now, as Im watching this video, everything that I felt toward him made sense.

Emotional dependency. Thank you for this term. I’ve struggled to find the perfect term that encompasses all fp relationships including ones where the people aren’t actually involved with one another. Love addiction, insecure attachment and codependency came close but this is the term I was looking for. A lot of younger people idealize the fp dynamic without understanding how unhealthy it is, and it can be difficult to get that to register with them. I’m really glad to have the perfect way to summarize it locked down.

I recognise myself as petulant borderline and I’m highly dependent on my favourite person and I can flip as he calls it in milliseconds. I try so hard to regulate my emotions. I am slowly getting better. He is also on the NPD spectrum so he takes these flips to heart. Your material is so helpful. I’d love to get therapy to help me improve more.🙏🏻

As a Borderline myself: Yep. Yep. This checks out completely. I've made progress over the years, but holy crap is this still an issue for me.

This was very informative and validating. I have a FP, and I recognize the attachment issue. I'm able to manage the emotions well and it has been a mutually beneficial arrangement.

borderline and a narcissist intimate relationship was the most toxic shit of my entire life

The ‘favourite person’ is a constructed image in the BPD’s mind. It is not the actual person they connect with. In that sense, BPD and narcissism is very similar. They both burden the other with the emotional regulation of their disorder.

got to have a belief in, got to have a belief in all the people

No favorite person with the BPD is healthy. It may look healthy to someone looking on the outside but the favorite person is usually walking on eggshells or is patient but like humans patients will be driven to the edge . The BPD will smother you and be clingy in the beginning and some find it honorable and cute but after awhile it will become draining and you’ll feel smothered. I remember when I was with a BPD woman in one of our first arguments I walked away and she came running up from behind and hugged me like a child and she said no don’t leave me , with tears in her eyes , saying your my husband ( we have only been dating 6 months ) . It still hurts as it’s been done now for over 2 years because I loved her but her constant screaming , blaming , never taking accountability, her disrespect was exhausting but the one thing that broke the camels back for me was the fact that she was never able to compromise and comprehend whatnot meant to have a peaceful loving relationship there was no reciprocality as I tried numerous times to work things out but she only viewed it as me crawling back to her . She was beautiful and sweet then flipped to another entity. And in the end it was like I never existed as she moved on so fast . I have learned that it’s not only the BPD fault we as the BPD partner played a major role in the relationship as well . Many Bpd just can’t help it and it’s not there fault either .

I wish now that I had known these behaviors of my ex were a PD as I felt so bewildered, hurt, sad, and at a loss as to how to manage it all. Some of his behaviors resemble untreated petulant BPD but I am not a PHD. What I can say about myself is I am a recovering codependent and also an highly sensitive person, HSP. I wish I had had skills and tools to manage my feelings because the last thing I wanted to do is leave my marriage. I still love and miss his loving personality, I just couldn't understand the side which made me feel hated.

and its always someone who doesn't care about me 😂😂😂 I only attract one's that manipulate and gaslight me

Can a BPDs “favorite person” be their LEAST favorite person? Like an enemy they mirror for example. The BPD claims to hate this person, despises them, yet copies this person. I think it’s an envy situation but why would a BPD mirror someone they hate? So can an enemy be the fave person?

I love how you are right on the money.

Nailed it

I started out as the FP of my ex with quiet type BPD. Then she switched to my best friend when our relationship got difficult for her to bear. She groomed him by emotionally cheating on me with him until she ultimately demanded we take a break which she then used to go on dates with him.

Favorite person is just another tool.

From a former "favourite person" Hell hath no furry like a woman with BPD scorned, or perceived scorned. As we know, their reality is not always on par with actual reality. I was "God's gift" to humanity whilst married. Then during and post the divorce of course, I become a spawn of the Devil. Of course, my evil "required her" to visit a handful of my corporate customers, especially general contractors, to "warn them" I own a very successful electrical services company, that generates a very nice living for electricians. No harm to me ...they all alerted me, and were very sympathetic....to me. My compassion for her was trumped by my need to live normal life, with a sane wife. She actually fooled 4 of my closest female relatives prior to marriage, and got a thumbs up from all. Amazing how some people can fake an entire being/personality. Thank goodness a family friend is a Psychiatric Nurse, and laid out facts about BPD. And, she encouraged me to research all the points she made. BPD is very, very sad ...and very, very frightening. The movie "Gone Girl" and the book "The Siren's Dance: Loving Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder" largely reflect my life with a person with BPD.

So if I don’t like anyone without them being my fp… I guess I just am screwed…

Thank you for a very informative video.

I think I will use this video to share/explain the concept to people in my life. Thank you for the succinct and level headed explanation of this!

Wonderfully explained...👌🎊👍💖😍

Okay, but what do you do about it?

Do children of a borderline personality disordered parent tend to have personality disorders?

I have borderline personality disorder. And a favorite person. I don't stalk her or anything like that but I do adore her and wish I was with her in a romantic relationship. But I know it'll never happen. She's a support worker and isn't my personal support worker, I know her for about 8 -9 years of the agency I'm part of . She's aware that I'm infatuated with her but I'm not doing anything for the police to be contacted etc

Can you make a video how a romantic relationship would be with two untreated bpds or one untreated bpd and the other with bpd traits.

Are you saying anywhere at all that the “favorite person” is a GOOD person that realizes the volatility OF the borderline? And in that sense may take extra precautions to keep them comfortable! But the borderline gets TOO HEAVY and DEMANDING and does too many “DooDoo” tests! ? Because that’s what I face by a LOT of women!

❤️

The stewards of eggshell city and the founders of mindreading academy, the BPDs.

My daughter has high BPD and NPD traits. She's a nightmare.