Boyfriend Wants To "Test-Run" Living Together! (He Will Propose If I Do Well) 

That was so touching!

This was beautiful ❤ May your marriage and family continue to thrive.

I can't tell you how many women dumped me because (In their own words) I "didn't do anything"...on the first date no less..with a veritable stranger! Bless you for staying a virgin till marriage.....it's a rare commodity these days, but worth holding out for; and it serves as a good tool to automatically weed-out the rejects who do not share your values/who would not work for you.

I loved your comment and I wish you the best in your marriage ❤ My dear 26 year old nephew has been attending med school, where met a lovely girl. She straight up told him on their first date that she was a virgin and was set on waiting until marriage. Like yourself she had many guys who thought it was a deal breaker and walked away. But it was no problem for my nephew. They got engaged over Christmas 2022 and are going to marry in May 2025. As we have an open conversation I asked him how he has been able to wait as he is not a virgin himself and very handsome, with many girls giving him the eye. He said his fiancée has many amazing qualities and he didn't need to go to bed with her to fall in love. He added that if waiting until marriage is important to her it's important to him, that he sincerely loves, respects and admires her for her values. She is a sweetheart and our family adores her. I am so thrilled for them ❤

So proud that you respected yourself, have good morals, values, dignit and set boundaries. To wait until marriage is a beautiful gift. Being totally committed to one person is a truly beautiful devotion and loyalty. I have been married for 44 years and only been with my husband, we totally love each other.

perfectly said

Blessed is the man that findeth a wife. She needs to be a wife before he decides to marry her. In any other aspect of life, we train for the role we wish to fill. Why act like a girlfriend when you ultimately wish to be a wife?

@@ralegade7710 correct.

@@ralegade7710 You need to be a husband before you can expect to get a wife.

I can't count how often I've heard guys complain about wishing their wives would act more like "girlfriends". Seems sometimes you don't get (or get less of) what you pay for when you get married.

or maybe he's just cautious. I see so many people who are blindly "in love" and think they're gonna be together forever and everything is perfect and not even a year later they're divorced. I just described half of my friends.

Women are constant testers, so by extension of your logic…

I know what you mean by tester. I had a boyfriend like that a very long time ago. He always set up these "tests" and I could see right through him. It was stressful. Breaking up, which he instigated, was almost a relief.

Why is it okay for women to be 'testers' though?

@@facelessman5362 Biologically, women have the larger investment, risk and insecurity in relationships because of child birth and rearing so they instinctively ”test” their men for strength. If a man can’t handle them how can he be relied upon to handle the environment or defend against other men? Not that this testing is productive or even beneficial in modern times but it is a byproduct of our evolutionary past.

Suggested edit: audition for the position of wife. Read that somewhere. Wants you to audition for the role of wife, without auditioning for the role of husband.

YES..the gingerbread man...run like him.... don't get caught!

What’s wrong with that?

Do you realize how dumb and entitled this comment sounds?

thats what dating is... but it also goes both ways.

EXACTLY!

Definition-a final demand or statement of terms, the rejection of which will result in retaliation or a breakdown in relations. It’s both… It’s her demand that they get married before she moves in with him or their relationship will end. She’s stating her terms and they are telling her not to compromise at all and if he doesn’t agree breakup. That’s literally the definition of an ultimatum. Not defending the guy it sounds like he’s doing the same thing but worse. However the advice was an ultimatum and sitting down and talking about it and maybe finding some agreeable middle ground would be better and if they can’t find agreeable grounds then it probably is a sign things won’t work.

To my point above if she doesn’t want to move in before marriage and he does then it sounds like their morals don’t line up with each other and they probably shouldn’t be dating in the first place. But I also don’t know them so what do I know or anyone in these comments lol

@@mobileclips7737 what they told her was not an ultimatum. It wasn't "a you better marry me, then I'll move in or else we break up." It's "my standard that I've set for myself is that I will not move in with someone unless I am married to them." What the guy does with that information is up to him. He can wait for marriage to move in with her, or if he doesn't want to do that then he can find someone else who agrees to live the way he wants and the caller is free to do the same, find someone that shares her values. There is a difference between an ultimatum and a boundary.

That isn't her standard though. That is the ultimatum these two men proposed her to pitch.

I know...

People change as they grow... but we stay stack on how they used to be

So they’re been together for like ten years and he’s still not sure?

Yes, she was naive but she also seemed like some light bulbs were going on. And let's not be too hard on the guy. If she sets the boundaries, and he responds correctly, it could be great for him too!

That's what love does sometimes. Deaf, dumb, and blind.

He is doing the right thing. Does she cook, do laundry, clean, attend to other household tasks? She's vetting him out, rest assured. Does he have the right career, does he earn enough money? Does he elevate her socially? People are allowed to state their standards. It's up to us to determine whether or not those standards are acceptable.

He will propose if they get along living together...get it right. He clearly said he wants to see how compatible they are to each other, that goes both ways.

@@kbthegoat824 The show literally quotes her in the title, sweetpea. It's not about seeing if they are compatible. Dude is dangling proposal over her head like a parent dangles an allowance over a child. Ladies, run from these dudes in these replies. Find a man who treats you with dignity. Not someone who views you as child or worse a dog to be trained.

@@texan903 It's not about standards when you're dangling proposal over someone's head like they are a dog begging for a treat.

Thats how relationship work if you do well you continue to date❤❤

Men do not risk your future for a woman that can take half your wealth

Wth is soul ties?

@@reese85 That's what previously used to be physical intimacy. Now It's just what non-virgins call the intangible benefits of marriage.

🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤

Listen to Bishop RC Blakes.

This is an absolutely _priceless_ comment you've made here.

Thank you for your vulnerability! You are a queen and deserve the world

How dare your husband make you carry some financial responsibility in the household, the audacity😱

I met a man who had been working and spending for 9yrs before he met me. He had nothing but his paycheck, and debt. I was finishing my degree. I helped him turn his finances around as his gf, I didn't live with him, I was a student in another city. I just didn't demand he spend money on me, and I pointed out his impulse spending habits. After I graduated, worked a yr we got married after buying a small house 50/ 50. His parents were so surprised that he grew up. Well after 6 yrs of marriage, a bigger house, and financial stability, his unknown to me gf was pregnant, so I freed up his future, took my 50% and left. So all the snark about making one or the other bare all financial burdens, is unfair. Both need to contribute, and then it adjusts when childcare enters the picture. His new gf was a Welfare non worker, so yep he walked into babies and only his income. I think I was used for my earning potential. He died young. Oh well.

@@Dean543-cc3fdnot some , half ….thats a big difference 🙄

That's the comment I was looking for .. You move in together with someone when it hurts more to be without them and you find yourself missing them on a daily basis if there not there.. Guy or gal , if you don' have that level of feeling towards your significant other , then don't waste each others time and burn up each other's heart in the process..

You interview for jobs and promotions. Why would interviewing for the role of wife be any different? This isn’t 1920. Women are not frequently raised to be loving caregivers that stay loyal to their families for decades. It’s better to sniff that out before she has the power of the state behind her.

@@Evil-Rod-Farva The interview is the dating and courting process. If you need to move in with someone to see if they're worthy of marriage then it's off to a bad start.

@@TyB211 So where's your husband?

@@I_like_turtles_67 Right now? Currently at work.

There's definitely a big difference between hanging out a lot and living together

Women ruin men's lives!

This attitude is why 45% of women over 35 are childless lol

100%

Well said!

Nobody lets you borrow a car for 6 months before buying it. :). So much worse.

A car is expensive, depending on what you buy but understandable for customer who want a test drive but a test run for relationship? Laugh my head off!

Hope that herd of feral cats keeps you warm at night.

and how much free milk did you give him?

Unconditional love right there..

@robloxvids2233 absolutely. Conditional on marriage. I was not interested in loving without marriage.

clown

@rhsc2670 a married clown with a happy husband that doesn't care what you think. 😘

❤

It’s too bad about homes, because it’s only after living in it that you discover there light glaring in your windows at night and the neighbors smoke and make noise.

Yeah I actually really agree with this advice with these two (which isn't always the case). But the caller knows what she wants and she should stick to her guns!

He has a 50/50 chance if he does not test her . He may increase his odds by a few points if he takes a test drive , Because , outside of the *fornication* issue , he is exactly right . Hopefully he is not in a state that recognizes common law .

@@WISHBONEL7He’s actually not because as statistics show couples that move in together before getting married have a HIGHER chance of divorce.

@@IWillSendMyHunters X2 #1 Please state your *sources* . As much as I like listening to Ramsey , that is the main issue that l I have with his show. # 2 Did you hear what their ages are ?!? . Does the data that you are going to submit take that factor into account ? .

@@WISHBONEL7 Institute of Family Studies.

Also, with this dudes thinking... if she doesn't lose him now, it will be later. The pain will still be there in both sections of the timeline, but, the longer it takes the worse it will be. It's better to find out now.

Amen 🙌

What this guy is offering is NOT love. He is just using her.

yeah, the whole deal he proposes is kind of insulting (in addition to completele devaluing her needs and her happiness)

She’s just a child their brains aren’t even fully developed yet.

NAILED IT!

congrats, sounds awesome! what's your recipe for finding that one person and for staying together that long?

Dump him for being a responsible adult & not rushing into a marriage which may not be compatible? I think people in the comments are painting this as the guy as "test running her" but isn't it also the other way around? Can't you make an argument that the women should do the same? To you know, see if they are compatible??? Why in the world would you marry somebody before figuring out they leave dishes around the house, stay up really late, etc. Did all that just fly over your head?

I think you'll find the majority of the people are triggered by this guy's behavior is because it benefits him more than her & it will leave her finacially vulnerable if it goes south. I mean, why would you play house with someone if you're not entirely sure about them & they have to audition for the role of husband or wife? The dating / courtship phase is when you find out about someone's true character & values. Not when you're playing house.

By the way, they weren't encouraging her to dump him. They were encouraging her to set a boundary.

This isn't 1980

I call bs that you flipped house almost double the price in two years

​@@alfonsosalinas3026 it's 100% possible depending on when it was and the circumstances they got the house. Especially if it was a good foreclosure around 2019

@@brendondowdy5651 no foreclosure house had been rented out it was an extra home starting to grow up I knew the lady called and she made me the deal

@@zacd7094 ah. Yeah I knew under some circumstances it was for sure possible. Great job!

Needless to say, I'm not friends with them anymore.

Agreed

You're a Good woman

I happy to see someone think soberly about this. There are too many ppl just making hardline judgements about this call. When in actuality nobody has enough info to judge. They're bashing this dude like they know who he is. And taking the woman's side like they know who she is. My personal opinion is If you don't have conviction about being in a committed union with someone u shouldn't do it. That goes for marriage and moving in.

well put

We found the simp!

@@yourgooglemeister6745 we found the incel!

@@yourgooglemeister6745 Maybe. Beats most of the other hosts of this show, outside of Rachel sometimes.

YEP!!!! 👍🏿

@@yourgooglemeister6745 so you insult someone unprompted? That’s so cool

More like, the guy needs to run and fast

No matter what, you will learn something you don't like about a person during marriage. You strengthen your relationship by communicating, compromising, and working together towards a solution. If you get married, you work it out. People are frickin lazy and selfish these days

No

When it does not work out, she can walk away with half his wealth.

It’s all set up for the woman

You learn all this when dating. Been married for thirty years, we dated for two years prior. I knew she was the one. No need to test run things. You will know in your heart!

Her proposing to him will make her look absolutely ridiculous and desperate.

@@texan903 The guy looks absolutely ridiculous and desperate as he has ZERO character. But yet, because the woman has character and wants to express her desires and needs, she's desperate according to you. Apparently, in this world, a man can act however he wants with no consequences. That's NOT the case in God's world. Amen! Amen!

@sherriewoods8015 Sherrie, I see you are a year late to the party. In any case, I said what I meant, and I meant what I said. Take it or leave it.

@@texan903 "Texan", I am right on time. The only time it matters that you say what you mean and mean what you say is if it is the truth and exhibits character. Otherwise, it is a broken vessel. God means what he says and says what he means. Proverbs 18:22 KJV. "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing..." Her desiring marriage is biblical. Expressing that does not make anyone desperate or ridiculous. If a man doesn't want to be married, then leave a woman alone. I Corinthians 7:1-2 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every many have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband." "Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whasoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.." Galatians 6:7 KJV. I don't have to take or leave anything, except that I mean what I say and say what I mean. Now, I am leaving this "party."

@sherriewoods8015 He finds a wife finds a good thing. That scripture says it all. Nowhere does it say that she who finds a husband finds a good thing. Wording matters. Have a lovely weekend.

Seeking help and advice is a red flag?

It's a way to get free advice.

I think she already had a lot of the same feelings and concerns. Oftentimes you just need to hear somebody third party validate your concerns, And that's totally understandable

Everything is a red flag to people these days 🙄

People call alot because everyone has told them they are wrong and they want someone to say they are right. You should never push someone getting married and always live together first.

A real man 👏👌🙌

There isn't a place in the world that I know of where someone can live rent free.

My daughter's name was on the mortgage. Both she and her fiance paid monthly. It's more about compromising and establishing a consensus no matter how you split the costs.

I would keep your finances as separate as possible except for maybe a single account with a small amount of money in it for joint expenses. Too much can go wrong with shared finances. Don’t take that risk.

That is different from what the caller's situation. While I know the host will still be hung up the "relationship without commitment". You covering the bills pretty much means you are doing husband duties in exchange for wife duties from your gf with no commitment on either side. A much even exchange than getting a roommate to split bills who also does wife duties for a gf price.

Like eggs., that milk will only cost him half his wealth.......

Why buy the pig, when all you want is sausage?

But he didn't dangle proposal over your head saying "you need to move in with me and if you do well, I'll propose."

yeah I think you two were a team even before marrying whereas this clown is in it clearly just for himself and just the word "test" tells you everything you need to know (in addition to him blatantly devaluing her needs and her happiness)

Yeah it was definitely a different situation than the callers.

Everyone at Ramsey drinks the good ol’ boy chivalry kool ade hard, but Baloney got a full transfusion with it.

I don't listen to a single think Johnny says. Usually don't even watch his videos.

@@robloxvids2233 I’m just trolling his vids at this point and hopefully young men realize how out of touch his advice usually is.

@@MarkTrueblood Super Saiyan Simping. It’s sad how much modern Christianity and its followers like the Ramsey org are failing men. All paths and advice lead to worshipping and serving the holy poonyeeti.

Yeah I can't think of any examples of couples the same age with a marriage that doesn't look like slavery for the man

Not if they are going to be living together. Lol data doesn’t lie; it doesn’t work like that and people are going to continue to change throughout life. It doesn’t take 2-4 years or more to figure out if you want to build your lives together.

This is true

Then live together but don’t buy a house,

Or they show you enough of themselves before you live with them!

So what

@@georgewagner7787 Don’t commit to marriage until you’ve lived together.

❤️❤️ you and your wife are lucky to have eachother, bless you both ❤️❤️

​@@smileygirl622 I think you skipped one word at the beginning of the story.