What INFJs are like when you try to break up with them Join the Word of the Week for a weekly dose of inspiration and motivation 💪 infj.me/WordOf... #16personalities #mbti #infj
FJ, you rock. Thank you for working hard on creating content in which everyone can see themselves reflected regardless of “type”. Buggy is luckily to have you as his dad 😇🫵🏻✊🏻🌞
You've PLAyED A(s)IgniFican'(t Rloe I n my development. InGratitude. I can show you the 2nd part I crafted to expand Myers bri[D)gGE Whenever you are free to check.
Dont get too mad at your INFJ ex. Right now it may seem like they are deflecting and avoiding processing your emotional breakup... but, if it makes you feel better, in a few years, one day at 4am while they are binge watching Ugly Betty reruns, they are going to remember this moment and it will eat at them, existentially, for months.
Or, with the clarity of hindsight, they'll wake up and realize what a favor you did them by breaking up with them, now that they aren't giving you the benefit of the doubt on your behaviors anymore 😆
I hope this is true. I am an ENTP and that INFJ girl was the only one who could ever make me want to stop and feel something. We were good, but then her ex came around, and suddenly she ghosted me. I can make jokes and flirt around all I want... but i haven't felt whole for months. I miss the conversations we used to have about anything and everything. I miss the times when i would be so engrossed in finding random stuff super interesting, tell her all about it, and when i would finally realise I might be boring her... she would just smile and say "I find it really cute." Lord the way I blushed... I hope she does remember me one day.
More like Non-INFJ: "We need to talk" INFJ: It's over, isn't it? Non-INFJ: Uhh, yeah how could you tell? INFJ: By the tone of your voice and judging by EVERYTHING ELSE in our lives Non-INFJ: Oh.... so, what do you think? INFJ: Because I predicted this, I've prepared a list of things to say to you. So A, yada yada B, yada yada, C....
omg, I actually did this! not with spoken words but with multiple letters for my ex to choose from... ugh... can't believe that it still hurts after all these years...
I've been trying to break up with an INFJ for thirteen years and you just illuminated why I've failed. As an INFP, the "how do you really feel?" questions just make me . . . say how I feel. And then I forget that I was trying to break up and instead talk about my childhood. It's a trap. This is how I die, isn't it
Lol I can relate so much! I'm an INFP and that's exactly how my INFJ friend behaves with me! And that's why I lovingly hate her so much... I've honestly never been so confused by my own feelings as when I talk to her.
ToT seriously??? I love him that way about himself it's a magnet XD (an infp with an infj) they are keepers. T_T as others said it's a trap a neutral one
Its all about why. INFJs need a reason for everything, the questions that look like therapy are actually us just reaching the heart of the issue to avoid being hurt by what we see coming. That doesn't mean it works though 😂
It works... just not for us. For them it's a release, because we make it to be more, like a separation. "Breaking up" has a negative after taste to it. In a way it's grasping for straws too. If we are able to turn it around. But that is the sad part. We don't actually want to turn it around, because that would just delaying the inevitable. We still give it a one or two sentence chance, but that's it. They cry, they fear, how we would react, but in the end we assure them, it was the best choice they made. Heck, they can even stay as friends. The paradox that they wanted to say that baffles them, also the lack of negativity. It hurts, but not as much as the previous ones, who were crying, shouting, begging, making it worse. For us however, the realization comes day to day as an exponential graph. And the spike happens with the first major flood thought, when there is no job to occupy us. Holidays and such, or maybe before a family reunion, where your relatives, who met him or her, ask about the situation. And that is the optimal. Then there is the shithead, who makes you the reason of the bad break up, it's your fault somehow (as an INFJ you tried every possible way, but didn't notice, they were planning itt for a long time now, so you never had a chance). They break you down, crush you to pieces, and let you rot, and think, they were the good one, you were the bad one... until you realize, after a few months: what the heck? Did they really do that to me? And the next time they call you for something, anything, you listen to them and when they finish, you say a simple NO, with the voice that says "not now, not ever, please, for your sake, don't call me again". Oh snap, that was a long rant.
@@madmanarrivednowThat sounds… exactly like how I got dumped. 😂 He wanted me to beg, plead and cry in front of him. It didn’t hit me until I got to work. I’m not sure if it was sadness or actually happy tears and relief. He blamed me, of course. “Don’t understand him, was the cause of why he got skinny”. You name it. He called me 2 weeks after he moved back home across the country and wanted me back - but to move back there. It was simple. No. Come to find out he had some other girl lined up, it didn’t pan out, and his ego was hurt that I wasn’t begging him to come back. I had just bought my unrefundable wedding dress too. Nope.
I feel INFJs process the fact that they have been broken up with very very late. Painfully late. It hits them like a ton of bricks about a day later when they are bawling their eyes out at 1 am after their brain has finally comprehended the gravity of the situation because they were still busy being the emotional support for the person breaking up with them up until that point or were in a state of shock to the point they appeared to not gaf.
Yeah I told a guy that I liked him 2 months ago and he said that he only sees me as a friend. I acted as if I was cool with that and we said goodbye with a big smile. 3 days later I couldn't get out of my bed for an entire day. And still feel a pain in my chest when I think about him. The worst is that I knew that it's probably one sided. But I underestimated the pain of facing the reality. Love hurts 🤕 We're both INFJ
I love that INFJs are gentle and care about your feelings but the not listening part is so true sometimes. They’d process what you said later if they care enough but you never know what they actually understood from the conversation unless they decided to tell you. But when they do show how they feel and think I find that so endearing.
I take the time to process it *because I care, and I want to make sure I fully understand it and make sure I'm not just emotionally reactive. But since therapy I personally, at least have gotten better with saying out loud that I did hear, but - loading essentially. Then after processing I've gotten better at voicing, well probably more questions but also validation and hopefully understanding. I'm sorry some of us INFJs really have to work on this. While I don't know you're exact situation and I might be wrong, they probably do care, I always did, just really suck at showing it normally. Hope this helps ❤
Maybe it's because I'm INFJ but the "not listening" part I don't understand, lol. I've seen a few other comments mention that, it's a bit of a surprise. I ask these questions when something doesn't compute, or when I feel I need to help the person, or when I feel they aren't giving me the full story... I suppose it comes down to feeling it, not hearing it, if that makes sense. I don't think of it as "listening or not listening" more like "what am I picking up on here?" and then I investigate. At least for me it's not a conscious choice to not listen. I think you're right about the processing-later part! Sometimes I don't even know how I feel :P
Omggg. I use to be a horrible listener. I thought being attentive and caring was being a good listener but it wasnt. Cause I finish their sentences for them in my head, I think I always knew better than others, always psycho analyzing ppl and turning people’s cry for help into opportunities for myself to show how knowledgeable and righteous I was and proof I’m valuable. trying to change them in the name of my own definition of justice instead of accepting them for who they are. I was in my own world and somehow thinking that I was in reality. Now I don’t make assumptions and I just listen to them. Really try to Understand and feel what they’re feeling without interruptions or being ready to give advice. Sometimes people just want to be heard not to be fixed at all. There’s nothing to be fixed and theyre feelings is good the way they are. Funny how we’re called the therapist but we’re a horrible therapist when we haven’t grown yet ourselves
A lot of people will work things out themselves if you let them. You see so much, but being patient when letting others get to a place where they can see too is hard. You see a struggle happening and want to help, but unless they are drowning the struggle is part of an important lesson that will help them grow. Don’t see the struggle as all bad and that will help you become more patient with yourself and others
As an INTJ watching this: Oh. I really get why it is we totally get along. I could sit there with her for hours analyzing stuff together and totally not be bored. I really need an INFJ to do movie nights with.
As someone who switches between T/F, (but is otherwise IN_J) the difference I have is analyzing abstract thoughts/facts verses feelings in conversations, so if talking about your feelings isn’t something you want to do, an INFJ is not for you 😂
@@lastofthestarmakers Eh. It depends on my mood. As an Fi person, I like to analyze my own feelings for a bit first, and then I might be up for talking to someone else about stuff I find complicated or conflicting. I was suggesting a movie night, though, because then we can analyzing character's actions and motivations (as well as themes of the film) and talk about those. And I don't directly have to talk about my feelings if I don't want to, but an INFJ can probably pick up anything I'm laying down by what I deflect onto the characters. This could lead to a more personal and direct conversation depending on the topic. Or not. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
I am INFJ and my husband is INTJ. He lays out the master plan and I make it happen. He may not want to talk about feelings but I know how to work around that by our analyzing things together. Remember, we INFJs can adapt to different people.
@@angelahull9064beautifully put. I'm an infj and my son is an intj. We get along along smoothly and it's like you said. I can always pick up what he's putting down.
Ok but this is LITERALLY ME in this current season of my life. ☠️ I either burn all bridges without looking back or I’m figuring out every possible scenario in which it could “work” and there’s no in-between. … I unintentionally live in extremes 😭
But whyyy? That way I can continue with my life without thinking what I did wrong or what you did wrong. The worst thing is not the breakup, but not knowing why it happened in the first place
Breaking up with IN*T*J's: INTJ: "Time for our weekly relationship status meeting. How are you doing." Norm: "I want to break up! I am sick of all these unnatural relationships meetings!" INTJ: "I suspected as much based on your comments last meeting and have planned accordingly."
You forgot: INTJ: "For the record, this is the stupidest thing you've ever done... so far. You'll regret this, but oh well, not my problem anymore. Have a good life."
This has the same energy as that scene in freaky friday when lindsay Lohan in her therapist mom's body had to deal with patients. "It just makes me feel so depressed" "And how do you feel about that?" "...depressed"
It's 40 yrs. for me. Still trying to figure out what happened. I don't know why some people actually want to be an INFJ! It can be torture. When other people tell me to just "let it go", I am so jealous. I have no idea what they even mean by that.
@@meagiesmuse2334 🙌😆I think we're always trying to apply or interpret lessons we learned in the past to our current situation or to our own growth. I don't know, but I actually think it's a good thing, in a way.
@@StephanieJeanne - I totally agree, especially if we stop making the same mistakes over and over because of it. I was not given any closure at all after 12 yrs., and the pain has never left me....I'm stuck in one of those INFJ loops! Learning about childhood imprinting along with the MBTI has helped. I only wish I'd known about the types at the start, since I would've run if I'd known then what I know now. Young people have so much more info to help them avoid wasting time on the wrong people, and I recently learned something that was a revelation. The thing that lasts the longest is the suspicion that I cannot trust myself...
I had a bad health news about myself and I was the emotional support for everyone else in the family to cope with the news. I let people let it out but I never show my own feelings. What the heck is wrong with me😂
I do the same thing. Nothing is wrong with you. This is how we cope as INFJ people. If everyone else is ok and heard, I don't feel like it will hurt so bad when my feelings come. Guess what it never works. I still feel lousy and alone. I like to take a walk or sit by myself a while before I tell others anything. When I came out as non-binary, I was just in utter tears for over a week before hand. It was all the bottled up emotions and wondering how others would feel. The short break before my world changed was necessary for my mental health.
I was in the same situation recently and only confided in one person. That’s all I needed and a quick journal of the days highlights to remember the good stuff to get me through. It’s the first time I’ve really had someone I trust completely to confide in and it made a world of difference for me. I hope you’re doing well ❤
This absolutely. Don’t feel much when this happens, besides curiosity. But then…grieving for years. Inside. And sometimes outside. Alone on the floor at home. But I’m fine!
Lol, my INFJ boyfriend is kind of like a therapist, always asking me how im feeling, trying to understand me and telling me to tell him all my worries and fears so he can give advice or emotional support, even when he is not at his best. He is a blessing ❤❤❤ you guys are blessings✨ -ENFP 🌈💫
@@blinx_edits Sure they do! ❤️ Now that I know about mbti I can tell that most of my crushes, favorite characters, people I wanna be close to.. were infjs, like, its CRAZY! 💕😂
@@payalagrawal9977 My boyfriend used to tell me exactly this when we were just friends, he always gives but never receives... That changed when we came together. I care about that boy a lot and he never felt more happy (his words, not mine) maybe consider getting an enfp ❤️ I mean, we are a good match for a reason! ✨ I wish you so much luck! Hope you can find someone that can give you as much love and care as you ❤️ (hugs)
Yeah, this is probably the most likely dom-Ni reaction. Sure, having Fe might spur idealisation and attachment, but it’s all about the goal. Honestly, most INFJs would be grateful the other person was direct enough to just end it
I think they know what they're "missing out on" if they're breaking up with you. Maybe self reflect once in awhile instead of constantly trying to control everyone else?
I took the MBTI test for 4 times to make sure I'm an INFJ. Then I read the description in the attempt to see how much % I can identify myself with this type, I realize it's around 90%. FJ's videos help me realize what this 10% is that I can't identify with, including this video: I almost never ask people the question: how do you feel, because I don't need to, I already know how they feel. Are there many INFJs who ask this question? I also don't feel like a therapist for many, may be a very few people. I don't really like talk about feelings; instead I prefer doing something that help them overcome negative feelings. Though, I like to listen to people but when they whine too much I drop out as I find them weak but still encourage them to get up and become stronger. Don't know if I'm still falling into an INFJ definition hahaha. Thanks for reading my word comment.
How high was your F score? It sounds like you may tilt a bit more toward the T than most INFJs. We are all different, even within a type. I wish I was more like you are! Yes, I am everyone's therapist and my profession was also that. Even though I pick up their feelings like you do, I don't like to assume I'm always right, so I ask anyway. Not verifying what I picked up cost me the love of my life. The more emotionally involved with someone I am, the higher the chance that the feelings I "pick up" are tainted by what my heart wishes for, or by what I'm afraid might be true.
I'm exactly the same! Don't like talking about feelings and don't like being around very emotional people. Maybe it's because I feel everything so strongly and I don't like wasting my time on this emotional crap, especially when someone is not interesting in doing something about the situation. I will be happy to help you, but don't cry or whine next to me.
I think this video is little too dramatic. I am an INFJ and i will certainly not ask questions like this. However, i would like to have an explanation and i will try to fix things if the person is dear to me.
I relate in some ways. I feel like people treat me as a therapist, and then I have naturally defaulted to that. Partially because of habit, and partially because i'm fascinated and I care and want to help. But then I can also hate emotions and get exhausted and want to just be like "FIGURE IT OUT!" lol. Or I just reach a limit and feel like they are not in control of themselves if it's too much emotion for me to comprehend or break down. It's weird. I don't always say "how does that make you feel?" but will ask some form of question for diving deeper. Whether it's more questions, or, like you said, encouragement to do something that bypasses the "how does that make you feel" (because I already see the end point) and goes right to what I think is the obvious solution.
Honestly, this is so accurate. When my husband dumped me (out of the blue! I didn’t see it coming!) my first reaction was empathy and compassion. „Thank you for your honesty, I‘m glad I know now how you really feel, let’s work things out…“ stuff like that. He (an ISTP) was absolutely not interested in a conversation like that though 😅 -> Cue my emotional breakdown 1 hour later
Omg your comment is so spot on about what happened to me (INFJ) with my ISTP ex. It was out of the blue, and I also had that stance of wanting to work things out with him… 7 months later here I am still trying to pick myself up from the trauma of things suddenly ending even though they seemed good 😭😭😭
@@kimservana i‘m so sorry this happened to you as well. 😢 I promise things get better and great things are ahead of you! Take it from someone who thought their life is over and now is happier than ever (it’s been almost exactly 3 years since he dumped me, divorced since 1.5 years)! Give yourself time to heal and build a new life. And look at it from a transformative perspective: You are growing into a much stronger and more beautiful person! Much love 🫂
@@missrobinhoodie im Infp almost breakinh up with my 2 years long distance Infj girlfriend, im sooo tired, she wont see it coming, its really sad, i dont wanna see her depressed or something, but its so frustrating dating infjs, you have a time where you are amazing and then the coldness
@@JeffreydelosSantosINFP falling in love with someones flowers/fruit is tricky because you‘ll be disappointed in autumn when the bloom is over. Infjs are great but not perfect, like everyone else. Honestly, the way you talk and (seem to) think about her - she probably deserves better than you. And/or you both are still very young and it’s a maturity thingy. Anyways. All the best to you!
I agree with the comment “we saw it coming” hence how we could respond like this and when they leave we just go back to what we were doing before the conversation started. I’ve never had a problem breaking up 😂
Agreed. Sometimes, things just don't work. No point getting upset; especially if you don't know one another well and it wasn't toxic or anything. People take these things too personally.
That's what I was expecting haha. But then I would still analyze it, I think, depending on the situation and person. Heck, even guys I didn't want to be with anymore, I've needed to get to the bottom of it.
In all honesty. This was me 2 weeks ago. There's some truth to it. I saw it coming so my grief came before the breakup. I'm a lot calmer and was able to like just ask casually how is the ex and how he's gonna be. Lots of "am I" questions. Dang bro!
True story. I’m an INFJ. I broke up with my last boyfriend. I wound up counseling him and trying to comfort him. It took 20 minutes. It should have taken a minute if that. It’s not that hard. I’m not falling in love. We’ve been dating two months. No big deal. Let’s break up. He was lashing out and talking about telling his mom. I was like “I understand you’re hurt in the moment. Let’s talk about your relationship with your mother.” 😅😂
Oh my goodness, I actually did this to my poor friend the other day. I kept asking, “but how does that make you feel?” It took me several minutes to realize she did not know how she felt or why she felt and all I was doing was making her stressed out. 😅 Next time. Next time I will do better.
I don’t appreciate being called out this badly. This is literally what my ex has told me before and what I struggle to fix daily lol. With me I feel like I’ve kept to myself for so long, it’s just so hard for me engage in normal intimacy with another person.
As an INFJ, I had several good friends who I considered dating and had a few flirtationships, but I ended up marrying my first serious boyfriend. But on the few occasions when a friend and I would mututally determine that we would be better off not dating, it felt a bit like this, haha!
You’ve been mixing a lot of melancholy and seriousness with your humor lately! It’s interesting. Hope all is well, I love seeing what goes on in that head of yours!
Brooohhh so true😂😂😂 It's like when you having a conversation you always want to know where they are coming from to having a better understanding of their feelings.
"Cómo te sientes realmente??" Jajajjaja podría tener una remera con este slogan y la llevaría con gusto...Frank deberías hacer un diseño con esa frase en una remera y sumarla a la venta 🙏😮😌
My infj ex was like 'no to couples therapy, can't you see what's happening here?' After breaking up and being reflective he's like 'couples therapy could be a good idea to see your perspective and where I could improve. It could be useful for my next relationship'. Nooooo. Lol.
When my ex-girl broke up with me I literally gave her some money to help her move Me: “do you need money? Are you gonna be ok? Here,let me help you with your bags”😂😂😂
It always reminds me of this episode of Malcolm where a therapist tells to the mother that she should stop being angry and listen to what her children have to say. Then in the episode she does it calmly and just repeats everything everyone tells her without doing anything else and it's absolutely hilarious as she tries not to explode 🤣.
@@hernidia your empathy gets tempered with years of dealing with other ppl’s energy/garbage. You choose where to spend your energy wisely and “No” is waaay easier to say.
@@hernidia you are most welcome. Best advice if you share my type; care for yourself first, so that you can save the world. It’s the same premise if a passenger jet loses cabin pressure. You are useless to your neighbor if you fall out. Put your mask on first. Hardest lesson for us to learn.
@@irishbear76 thank you again! ❤️ It’s been hard to unlearn this pattern but, a necessary one. l’m so grateful for this INfJ/ RU-vid community. It’s made me feel less alone. Good luck to you!
"we need to talk" the worst phrase ever spoken, even for an ENTJ. But it was funny how she didn't interact seriously with any thing except she being Oprah 😂
Nah, two levels of interest, she was really intersted in how he is feeling on a deeper level because she cares but the possible information about how he sees her just struck her more intellectual sense of curiosity. She is still musing on what just happened. Trying to understand how he is doing and if that was it... - Another INFJ here^^
It hit so home! As an INFJ with an INTJ partner we have innumerable instances where we decided to break up, better say, he decided to break up. But every time this question was raised, I asked "why, what's not working?" Then "think, would you regret it?" and "do you really feel calm enough to end it or is it just an impulsive decision?" He often says that we can't ever break up because I'd always abort the attempts.
it will come...there is a reason..oen can only postpone so much.. i wonder what in your behavior is making him want to break up. Do you even show your own feelings to people, or only allow others to do to yo
@@lok6314 we talked about it. The problem this time isn't me. He has a fear of me breaking up with him before he does so with me cause that would severely hurt his ego. He has ego, he has the power to be rational in situations where I'm all emotional. He loves himself more than I love myself. So, whenever there is a slight disagreement, he wants to cut all ties with me. And about showing my full range of emotions - I can't get apathetic, I cry easily and he hates it. So, stopped that.
@@ihope2504 That doesn't sound like a great relationship, tbh. You should be able to be vulnerable with your partner, and vice versa. A problem I think a lot of INTJs have is being emotionally vulnerable. I think he should work on that, and maybe you could work on expressing your feelings better instead of just crying.
Gosh, today I hugged my friend who was crying, before I realized I don’t know her like that. Idk why that reminded me of that, but it did, and now I’m dying from embarrassment all over again! Thanks for the vid FJ!!! -INFJ
The strugglez of the mysterious infj. Anytime someone says or does anything like this to my sister (infj) there is a part of me (entj) that feels personally responsible for contacting that person and telling them in creative hurtful ways that they are brainless, useless sacks flesh etc. but I can’t do that because it would somehow hurt her feelings that I hurt their feelings because of her….
That shows me that you're a very mature ENTJ who actually listens to and understands their sister and not what you think they would want. I still don't get why people find it so mysterious, but INFJs don't like when their relatives want to hurt others just because they hurt them. They still get it is for them but it's actually doing them more harm because from the INFJ's perspective, the person who did could be justified in doing so because they're the ones who did a mistake. And it's not because they've been hurt that they want to hurt others. It's just making things worse and the INFJ feels guilty because no matter this person hurt them, they're still another human being. Think about if this person you wanted to insult also had a sister who would be exactly like you and wanted to do the same thing because you insulted their sister. It just overcomplicates things. An INFJ will take all of this into account. There is a right place and a right time to fight back when it's only someone else fault, cause not everything is black or white but in some rare cases, it is. When it is for the INFJ, you'll see them naturally standing up for themselves cause they're totally capable of it even though others usually feel they have to protect them, but the reality is they simply judge differently when fighting back is or isn't a necessity. It just takes a lot for them to do so cause they always crave harmony. People with Fi and people with Fe can be quite different. Keeping an harmonious external atmosphere without negativity and tension is actually a top priority for INFJs cause having it is what will affect them the most, no matter who this negativity comes from. It could be you, a stranger, it doesn't matter. It's still bad emotions and sadness. Emotions impact INFJs no matter they come from others. That's what being an empath means.
@@kyurei4478I’d say I’m a mature person in general, I just turned 30 😅 seriously though we had a tough childhood and both grew up faster than other kids we knew. Being an Entj sister to a younger infj is awesome and I love different ways of thinking and see value in all perspectives not just my own ( the biggest difference between me and other thinking types in my opinion) thinking one was of thinking is superior over another isn’t really thinking at all, my infj sister sees things in a breathtakingly beautiful way that I admire and respect. Letting someone know they aren’t incompetent by seeing their perspective is a special feeling I like to give others because I’ve got no idea for else to deal with emotions really 😂 I’m just like " I understand why you think that way and appreciate the alternative perspective you have to offer even if I don’t personally see things that way" That’s me being trying to be nice
I may look like that minus the facial hair but I'm not asking questions like that. Cause right at that moment, I am not worried about how you feel. I'm too busy keeping my act together so you can't tell how I feel. I won't binge watch Ugly Betty but I will watch Murder mysteries and I will be taking notes-- for a friend.
I find this perspective to be quite wise, especially if we set aside the part where she's causing the problem due to her lack of listening 😆 I'd personally prefer to be the one who receives heartbreak while staying in control of her emotions and not gaslighting anyone's feelings, even her own. I am not INFJ, by the way 🤔 I appreciate the humor and the valuable lessons here 👏
Feeling other people’s feelings is a powerful way to avoid pain. You feel something but you know it doesn’t belong to you so there’s a sense of detachment. Kinda a messed up coping mechanism..
Omg YES YES YES. Misunderstandings lead to resentment. Lots of people seem to want to just gloss over stuff, not understanding that will make it worse in the long run.
Oh my gosh, even though this video is not the ultimate reality, it's so relatable to me as an an infj. Cuz ofc we're not treating you like therapists every day but get close to it lol. Even my least close friends come to me for advices and to tell their problems bcz we are little heart doctors inside
The way I approach break ups is often drifting apart too, because I picked up the signals and just “understood” the message But when I REALLY REALLY care, I try to talk about what has been happening and become very upfront, like “please don’t put excuses, you did this and this and I’m not fighting, I just don’t want to go in circles” (we often do go in circles tho because people is just like that I guess🥲) How do I personally break up with somebody? I am pretty straightforward. “I loved this, I enjoyed this, I still remember this, but I also know I don’t see myself with you” And if I ever regret a break up, I just eat dirt because yeah that’s on me
Yes, I feel like when I really care, so much of getting to the bottom of a breakup is because I often can tell that people BS, or that what they're saying doesn't make sense. So, I like to get to the heart of it, or understand it because I don't want some fluffy, fake reason to end a relationship; I want them to be honest with me. It shocks me when, sometimes, (I guess?) the other person maybe doesn't even know how they feel, deep down, or they don't know they're BSing. Or, it upsets them when I probe, because they just want to gloss over and flake out. I guess a lot of people just want things to be superficial and I just don't get it. Even if I AGREE that a relationship isn't working, if someone won't get in the trenches to analyze it, it feels so fake and depressing to me, like what was the point? :P
Me, an intellectual infj: "Ohhhhh, say no more, I KNOW we need to talk. I could tell, like how I also could see this coming. Thavks for confirming my conspiracy theories about my imposter syndrome, have a magnificent life, sorry fir wasting your time"🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂
A guy said (INFP) that sometimes I talk like I'm superior. And the subject was feelings. I think it was mostly Ti vs Fi. Like INFJ are trying to analyze feelings outside of themselves in a more logical/objective way and generalise but for INFP feelings are part of themselves so it doesn't t feel right to do that? I don t know if it s right.
Man the timing on this. I'm INTJ so eh sorta similar I guess, but man that timing. I got broken up with like 2 days ago now, tbh kinda saw it coming, didn't think it'd actually happen though, was kinda out of nowhere, but it's all good, I'm doing fine all things considered.
That time I got rejected, I couldn't think anything at all at the moment, I told him "I'll have a lot to think about later" and he asked me what I thought about him and I swear I just could not process it. And now that we've parted and have thought a very lot about it, there's so many things I would want to say Lol but it's too late
It's so funny to me the idea that someone would break up with someone (like in this skit) and then get mad that the person they're dumping doesn't give them emotional feedback! He doesn't get the right to know how you feel about him if he broke up with you, imo! ;) :P I don't understand that part of this skit. It's hard enough to know how I feel... (the processing is so real)... and yet I'm going to make an effort so you can feel happy that I'm sad I'm losing you or something? PSSH.
@@jamlaw he first told me he didn't have those kind of feelings toward me, then he asked what I thought about him, like maybe ask me before lol what the hell was the point. Honestly I would have preferred if he didn't ask me at all because that send me to an endless spiraling tunnel of "what if" (what if he was unsure, what if I had been able to articulate what I felt, what if he was insecure about himself, what if I had made him pity me enough and he would have stayed) and this tunnel in the end took me to the psychologist 😂😂😂
Infj - to be fair we dont always ask how you feel, this is obviously an comic exaggeration but it is true we are more like to do so or ask it in our minds if we dont do so out loud. It definitely hit home for me at least😂🙈 That and if there is a break up on the horizon we INFJ's usually see it coming.
Honestly, I can't force people to stay, might at least be honest and understand it so we can both elaborate it without ifs and buts. And even save it if we come to a conclusion, so it do be useful.
Yeah it'd be like that together with awkward silence while infj tries to figure out and express their own feelings in a way that won't hurt or escalate the situation further 😅
Of course they do. You can't get rid of problems if you don't understand where they come from. You'll just keep doing the same mistakes over and over again and won't understand why. Sometimes this behavior can be seen as too serious for people and it's important for the INFJ to distinguish when it's just an isolated case and there isn't benefit looking too much into it but sometimes there will be. But others due to the lack of vision won't understand why the INFJ is so determined about wanting to know most of the time but that's just because they want to help profoundly in depth to change the life of others for the best.
CONFIRMED BY ME AS AN INFJ MYSELF 😂❤ This is litrally what I do with my friends.. 😂 "HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT ABSOLUTELY NOTHING" yeah.. these are my lines and my words but I swear it's just with good intention I just want to make sure everyone is happy and not upset or sad actually 😅❤
Exactly! To me it seems polite/real to ask. At the very least, more interesting. Life and people get really boring when all you do is chitchat about superficial things.
I guess that’s why us ENTP’s are good fit. We probably wouldn’t pay attention long enough to even understand their questions lol. We would just be like peace out next adventure 😂
My older sister is an INFJ and I'm an INTJ... what's funny is she actually is a psychologist with a Phd and she talks the same way as before the degree.
