I knew a pastor and his wife that was like that. They always wanted you to cover the bill or "help" them financially. They used their office as a crutch and tried to guilt people into thinking that God would be mad if they didn't help.
Smart couple! My wedding was $1,200. It was nice. Didn't have to buy any church decorations, since it was in December and the place was already decorated. Made lovely background pics.
I remember having to pay for hotel, make up, hair, and clothes for my friend wedding and my income was very little. Now I know better but I would never put someone in that predicament when I get married. It’s not reasonable
My friend wanted me to spend between 4-6k for his wedding in a different country. I said I can't I'm overwhelmed with full time work and school. Needless to say, hes not my friend anymore lol oh well, a real friend would have understood the situation.
I had something similar with my best mate when he got married. He'd asked me to be his best man which I would have loved to do. We live in the UK but he decided to have his wedding and honeymoon in Thailand and expected the guests to pay for not only their own flights but also their food and accommodation. At the time I'd just bought a new house with a large mortgage and had two young children. I couldn't afford to take my own family to Thailand and I wasn't prepared to get into debt to do it. I would have loved to go but had to decline to go. Unfortunately he took this badly and it damaged our relationship for many years afterwards. But I just didn't feel right going on my own when I couldn't afford to take my own family on holiday and I wasn't going to take out a loan or put it on a credit card.
You should pay for all of that. Its not the grooms responsibility to pay for that. However, they also have to understand when you do a destination wedding some people will not choose to go because of the finances.
@@staceystrukel1917 That is a terrible thing to make a best man pay for anything. If you can not have a wedding you can afford, then don't. Have a simple wedding in your backyard. What a stupid tradition. If I organize any party, I pay for all of it. I don't make people pay to come to the party I am organizing.
One of my very good friends did a destination wedding. He and his wife got married in Hawaii because that is where he proposed to her. He was actually thinking of other people. He understood that most of us could not afford to fly out to Hawaii as well as the other expenses we would end up incurring. They invited only their immediate family and actually paid their expenses. I would have loved to hav attended, but completely understand why they did what they did. They put together a second reception in our town when they got back, complete with video wedding footage. We all had a great time and still got to celebrate their union.
This lady may be earning $92,000 but she owes $46,000, excluding their house. They are seriously in debt so should only spend an amount they are happy with.
They might not have any retirement savings either so they need to get out of debt. If she said they have 100k or so in retirement it may have been a little less painful. Student loans are the worst.
its not just about the money its the principle behind it. you don't ask people to spend that kind of money on your wedding without having a choice. He nailed it with Bridezilla.
It doesn't matter if they make $92k a year. They're trying to get out of debt! Plus, requiring several hundred dollars per person to attend a wedding is ridiculous!
On the surface, this may not seem like a big deal, it is. Sure, we are talking about an amount of money that the caller could afford, it doesn't mean she should have to. It's ridiculous and disrespectful that the bride is demanding this. If she wants certain things a certain way, she should not only pay for it, she should compensate the wedding party in some small way for attending.
Richard Forester exactly!! entitlement mentality is becoming more and more extreme, people seem to want OTHERS to pay for their wedding, it's disgusting honestly
My parents don't get along at all. So when my husband and I eloped everyone in the family (mine and his) totally understood. I just can't stand family drama.
Maegan Byerley yea I’m not going to be able to have a party because no one on my mom’s side gets along. But hey, we get to save money so their drama is helping us
I asked my x2 bridesmaids to pick a dress they liked, they both wore black heels they already had. I didn’t care about accessories, nails etc. I paid for half the dress and makeup. One bridesmaid did her own hair the other used a hairdresser. We had the perfect wedding!
When I got married I was very conscious about how much my bridal party had to spend. I went the cheaper route for them!!! Plus the jewelry set makes a great bridal gift.
Im planning my wedding and the only thing my bridesmaids will pay for are their dresses, hair and shoes. I’m taking on the cost of the mani/pedis, bouquet, bridal shower, bachelorette and their bridesmaids proposal gift set... and what Bridesmaid dress cost $400 ?!? Why don’t they go to a David’s Bridal
wow. my husband and I a beautiful wedding for 500. and that includes my new dress (my mother sewed it). it was small an simple just like I wanted. I don't understand expensive weddings.
Lee and I were married in the Phoenix courthouse. Picked up flowers at Walmart. I wore a white dress from target. He wore one of his suits. All together 145.00. Stayed married 35 years.
A wedding should be free for everyone attending. If they want to give that's their choice but no judgments either way. I want to get married but I dont want to invite anyone. Its a personal event.
Sadly this is typical. People have no shame in putting people on the spot . Its brutal. Half these people are going to end up divorcing anyways. Save your money
Very strange, my fiance was the maid of honor for a recent wedding and she had to pay for her dress, makeup done a certain way, decorations etc. she ended up spending like $800 for that, then was a bridesmaid in another wedding, and that bride had the maids pay for a hotel, some bar crawl in Atlanta, then had the nerve to not even go to it so the two bridesmaids just went by themselves so they didn't lose all their money. Definitely glad I listened to this.
I’ve never been in a wedding where the bride paid for my hair or makeup. I didn’t know that was a thing. I’ve been getting duped! Therefore, I didn’t pay for my bridesmaid’s hair or makeup but I didn’t require them to have it professionally done.
Bride does NOT pay for everything herself. That being said, she shouldn't make $180 hair and makeup plus $100 bridal shower plus $100 for the trip and pedicure and manicure. I made things as affordable as possible for my girls...This sounds insane to me.
We got married in the courthouse,paid 35 bucks and went to order pizza delivery after wedding then just hangout. I was 27, my husband was 33, that was 10 years ago. Now, We have 3 properties in the Philippines worth millions, and we are retiring in 7 yrs ish. We didn't have money before for even a simple wedding but our big wedding is coming up. Thing is, there is no issue if you really want a big flashy wedding as long as you have the money to fund it and not burden anyone with your plan. With my wedding, the dresses and makeup of my entourage is on me. They will just attend it and have a great time!
My mother in law pretty much was guilting me and my wife during our wedding planning. Said we were trying to make the wedding cheap. She and her husband couldn't help financially. Eventually I told her that is doesn't make sense to empty our banks accounts for a one day event
Whoa. My daughter got married 7 days ago. They asked the bridesmaids to buy their own shoes, any pair they wanted in the right color. The entire wedding budget was $4,000 (including us covering the rest of the stuff for the bridesmaids) and we had 500 guests.
Wow, how did you feed 500 guests on $4,000 dollars? What kind of food was served? That is wonderful that you were able to do so much on that budget. Great job.
Twenty years ago, my husband's younger sister got married and made a whole lot of bratty, gutsy demands. It was a spring wedding and she wanted everyone to dress in formal black and white. (Including my two children). None of our required outfits were to be paid for, by her, of course. It was difficult to find a black dress for my daughter. I wanted to make a bow tie for my son, but she insisted that it must be a kid sized neck tie. ....on and on, it went, with my SIL having a meltdown at every turn... I finally told my mother in law (who was the royal messenger), "Let's see how my SIL will be, when it comes time for her to be supportive, in my kids' weddings.... I would love to hear all her excuses... when she is struggling to make ends meet, with a mortgage and several little ones!" My MIL called back a few hours later and said that she would personally pay for the required clothing. I sewed my daughter's dress and my son's white shirt. I also searched around and got my dress on sale. (Because I didn't want to take advantage of my MIL's generosity). Then SIL told us that we had to leave right after the wedding photos. Unfortunately, we weren't on the guest list for their chez, overpriced reception. Fast forward, eighteen years... My daughter had a beautiful and frugal wedding two years ago. The only request that we made for SIL snd her family, was the pleasure of their presence, on my daughter and her new husband's, special day. Guess who had a mortgage and several teenagers and young kids? Unfortunately they weren't in a position to be more "supportive." .... Funny, how that works...
I made my own gown for $40 (1981) and all the bridesmaid dresses too. We had sandwiches for the reception. It is 2018 and we are still married. You are just as married if the wedding is expense or cheap.
Many, many years ago I read an article about a woman who saved for 3 years and did without lots of stuff to pay for her wedding. Smart woman. This bride is selfish.
If you cannot afford to pay $1,000 to be in a wedding, say "No". A dress from David's Bridal cost $200.00. A hotel assuming you are traveling cost $140.00. A round trip plane ticket is $300.00. A professional make up artist is $100.00 minimum (not the girl who works at MAC). Hair cost $50.00. Nails and feet $100.00. Dave Ramsey is being cheap. But you get what you pay for. I expected a minimum of $500.00 to be spent to be in my wedding and most of them don't have to get a hotel. Dress $200.00, hair $50.00. Make up $100.00. $200.00 total for bridal and bachelorette party.
Over my life time I can honestly say the more expensive the wedding, the shorter the marriage lasted. The biggest do in NYC at the Waldorf Astoria was over in less than a year.
I don’t think so, I know plenty of couples who spent over 50-100k for a wedding and are still together 20+ years on. However, I don’t understand how someone can expect someone to pay for their own bridesmaid dress/makeup/hair. I get if they are able to choose their own dresses and you get them to pay, but if you want things done a certain way you have to pay!
I love weddings. When giving someone a quote to cater one you can always add an additional $20 person because the word wedding is in it. I own a food truck and I’m still cheaper than a traditional catering service.
I took my groomsmen and picked out jackets and smacked up eBay for the rest of our wedding. We all are rockin Italian made suites and designer fittings all for less than $100 a person 🤪
When we got married we just wanted people to be there and have fun. That's why we didn't have any ridiculous parties or nonsense, just good people and a good celebration. We even told people not to bring presents because we felt they did enough by showing up.
I encouraged my bridesmaids to wear a dress they already had or get one on sale that fit the wedding colors. They spent as much as they wanted to. Then *I* did their false eyelashes. We had no stylist at our bridal house. There was no way I was going to hire hair and makeup. Ever.
The marriage is not going to hold. The bride is entitled and wants to have a LAVISH (better than the Jones) wedding, but they obviously also do not have the money for the upper class wedding. To make the experience free for the people who have not say. 400 dollars for shoes and dresses ? 180 for hair and makeup and 200 more for gifts and showers. 92,000 may not be _that_ much in Phoenix (housing market !).
Doesn’t the Bride pay for the dresses, make up and hair?? We only pay for the bridal shower !! I’ve been a bridesmaid twice and did not pay squat !! I only chipped in for the Bridal shower and bridal gift !!
If any bride expected me to chip in almost $1,000 for THEIR wedding then I'm out. You want a big wedding then you front the cash for it. This whole idea of these crazy weddings with the dress and the hair and the hotels.... it's just too much. More people need to start eloping or doing small and simple.
The issue really is she's not really even family yet and she expects to not only have his money but everybody else's money so yes boundaries have to be set she's going to be the in-law who is constantly borrowing money from you and promising to give it back and never do.
I simply cannot imagine the cheek of demanding someone else get a manicure pedicure, and forcing them to pay for it too. Unbelievable! Makes me want to give her a “beauty treatment “ using my fists
My brother in law had his wedding in Ireland, I was pregnant and even before we found out we decided we weren’t going because even tho we could afford it we wanted to spend the 3-4000 of our own money on our house for Reno’s and getting ready for a future baby
I was gunna do something somewhat similar because only my immediate family lives in the city I was planing on getting a mansion in vegas and have everyone pitch in about 100 to 200 per person for whoever wanted to stay for the 5 days I rented the house and have the party there and I thought that would save everyone money including me by a lot cuz non of us are rich my parents can’t afford to pay more than 1,000 but since I didn’t want to predispone of other people’s money at the end I had a very small wedding only had my immediate family there and everyone absolutely everyone got offended by it but I can careless cuz people didn’t really want to help out with my plan and my parents give to everyone in the family but when they need help they make themselves the victims
Bridezilla planned a wedding that she can't afford and she now wants family and friends to pay for it? How about you plan a wedding that's within your budget. The fact that the caller makes 92k a year does not mean that bridezilla is entitled to her money.
I wanted to elope but my mom asked if she could throw me a little last minute wedding. I said yes and she threw me the prettiest, most inexpensive back yard wedding with my friends and family and my favorite flowers, sunflowers everywhere. Our friend was the person who married us and we played back yard games afterwards and ate. It was amazing and I'm so glad she did it. I can't imagine a more expensive wedding would have made me happier.
My mom helped arrange a similar wedding in a friend’s backyard. They got friend chicken “catered” from a local grocery store, the mothers and grandmothers all made a salad for side dishes. I forget how they did the flowers but it was all planned within like a 2 month time span and everything turned out great.
ApplePie521 don’t need a backyard. People gave weddings in public parks. Many you can reserve a section for private events. No need to go into huge debt for a wedding. Keep it low cost and spend a little more for a even better honeymoon if you like.
Seems that some people want a party more than a marriage. My wedding was $79...$25 for a marriage license, $50 to justice of the peace and $4 for parking. Still married 25 years later.
Myself also. I don't remember the exact cost but it was 38 years ago, JP and then a very small reception in the backyard 3 days later on a Sunday afternoon. Subway sandwiches and cupcakes. No regrets.
It makes sense. A big wedding means that the couple starts their life together with massive debt. And putting more focus on having a "perfect" wedding than a good marriage is never a good idea.
MsBrendalina that’s not necessarily true. We’re having an expensive wedding but also have been saving since we got engaged and have a healthy savings outside of this wedding fund. But I get what you’re saying.
@@euenfheiejrj There's nothing wrong with having a lavish wedding if you can afford it. But I just think it's a bad omen when couples put themselves into debt just to have a fancy wedding party
He needs to sit down with his brother and go, "Dude! Really? You want to marry HER?!?!?" Dave sees the red flags. Don't worry about being the Wicked Witch of the West. I doubt the marriage would last 15 years. Women like this are why MGTOW exists.
GamerNRetro Omg, I feel the same way. What man would marry a woman who makes such ridiculous requests? He is going to regret marrying such an entitled brat.
Why do people expect others to finance their own wedding is beyond me. YOU chose to have a big or expensive wedding, YOU should make sure you have the funds to pay for it. People's sense of entitlement is quite awful. I'd be scared to marry a woman like this. Trouble down the road almost guaranteed.
I cannot believe I'm writing this. If you want to get married get out your own check book. What someone else makes is their business not yours. Why does everyone think they need to pitch in on a bill someone else generates? God, Dave called it right, she is "Bridezilla".
Tom Watson my husband was making over 6 figures when we got married we spent about 500.00 including on everything private wedding. We rather save and use our money for our dream vacation then on one day where the paper at the end is the same no matter what you paid for your wedding. This kind of stuff makes me glad I didn't have a traditional wedding.
8/22/20....AND the FUNNY thing is these ppl SHACK UP FOR YEARS & MANY EVEN HAVE KIDS---THEN decide to have a HUGE EXPENSIVE WEDDING! I really think THE BIGGER & MORE EXPENSIVE WEDDINGS END IN BIGGEST LEGAL FEES FOR DIVORCE! 😊
I spent more being a bridesmaid for someone else’s wedding than my own wedding. NEVER again. Bride was ungrateful and I’m no longer friends with her. Also, my dog had an emergency $2500 surgery and her bridal party was upset I didn’t pay 150 to pitch in for a hotel I wasn’t even staying in because I was caring for my dog. The worst people. Lesson learned.
Same, my total wedding cost was $750 for a beautiful backyard get together. I had to foot the bill for everything as a bridesmaid and spent over $1200. Horrible.
Courthouse. $20. Married 26 years. Took the money we saved for the wedding and had an awesome Honeymoon and a down payment on a house instead. Spending huge on weddings is ridiculous. @uallspending5plusfiguresonweddings
K Yancy I’ve told my daughter from the start. I’ll help with college as I can, and please elope or just go to the courthouse and spend your money on a down payment on a house.
Married two years ago the same way. Save your money for other things. Friends were upset, but hey, we see them on the fourth Thursday of every month for dinner.
My husband and I had a very inexpensive wedding. We honestly just wanted to go to the courthouse. My in-laws insisted we have a wedding. So we got married in a wedding chapel with a very small number of people in attendance. My entire wedding was $1,000 and $350 was my wedding dress. Actually, my in-laws paid for everything. Neither Ben or I wanted to start our lives together in debt or broke. We didn’t have a honeymoon. We have been married 18 years and we have worked hard to build the life that we have. We have zero debt. We just paid off our house.
The caller could be making $2 million/year. It still does not entitle this bridezilla to make the caller and other bridesmaids pay so much for a wedding. This marriage will end in divorce in a few years anyway.
emily anne yes she did. 23magneta was making the point that it doesn’t matter how much money the caller makes, meaning she could be even a millionaire, and it still wouldn’t give the bride the right to demand her bridesmaids pay for all these things. Hope that makes sense lol
I agree, I was confused as to why he asked what her income was, because it's irrelevant. She is not obligated to pay for all this stuff regardless of how much she makes. Bridezilla needs to get a clue and have a wedding she can afford to pay for herself. I would bow out of the wedding entirely- I do not take well to people telling me that they feel entitled to my money.
I could never understand expensive weddings. What's the point? I can't believe what some people go through just to have a wedding. My husband and I got married for a few bucks at the courthouse 11 years ago. Other people we know spent thousands of dollars only to get divorced a few years later. I really don't believe that spending a fortune on a wedding means anything about how your marriage is going to turn out. I know that is beside the point of this call but I'm just stating my opinion.
I hear you on that. My wife and I spent somewhere in the neighborhood of $1500 bucks on ours. We had an intimate wedding with a few family and friends in a little country church. This past November 15th, we hit 27 years. I wouldn’t have changed a thing.
I paid $70 to get married in SC. I laugh at people that get $25K weddings. I knew a guy...his bridezilla had a $50K wedding...then filed for divorce 6 months later...HAHA
My Aunt had 50k on rings then 80k on a wedding with a guy she got engaged to after knowing him 6 weeks. They were going to lawyers for a POST marital agreement when they got back from their honeymoon and filing for divorce 5 months after that
I wanted a simple church wedding, but thanks to my MIL, it turned into something pricier than I intended. My fiancé and I are working super hard to save up for the party. We created a budget and I researched prices for the things I want to incorporate into the wedding. But my MIL is angry and wants us to charge $150/plate. I said to her no. We will pay for it ourselves, because we can. Sometimes, it’s not the bride who’s doing not so classy stuff. Family can also be a pain.
Dude. Being a bridesmaid these days can be a huge financial commitment. Expectations get raised all of the time. Showers, parties, gifts, make up, hair, nails, over priced dresses no one really wants, shoes, trips.. the list goes on..
My wife and I got married with $300.00 to our name and 56 years later we don’t owe anyone anything and have no debt. Excellent financial management on my spouses part has enabled us to have three different houses and no mortgages. Life is good when you are in this position. Main rule don’t buy anything unless you can afford it! Thanks Dave Ramsey, my wife was using your advise before you started giving it! And it’s good advise
