Great insight Matt, mine favorite ❤ part 9:53 (Its a request)Matt can you interview this guy, I guess his name is Zachary King: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-MW-2ti4DOD8.html If possible plzzzz His channel: ru-vid.com/show-UCFcZG46lfRhaEOvMPGW-cNw
Disagree with CS Lewis, it does not necessarily make person selfish or self absorbed. I will go with Augustine Lord give me chastity but not right now.
@@sergesavard636 are you aware that's a tongue in cheek comment he made about his youthful attitude, and not a supplication he actually endorsed? "I was bound down by this disease of the flesh. Its deadly pleasures were a chain that I dragged along with me, yet I was afraid to be freed from it," said St. Augustine. I pray that you follow his path, as you say, but that it be a path for you less arduous
C.S. Lewis: "Masturbation sends a man into to the prison of himself, there to keep a harem of imaginary brides." Wow. CS Lewis somehow knew about the anime community before the rest of the world did.
@@codymattison8189 imagine being so ignorant of your own history that you think the church that wrote and assembled the New Testament of the Bible is unbiblical.
I'm happy to have found this video. Modern women like myself struggle mightily with porn addiction, masturbation, and fornication. It truly is indeed a prison, and I'm so sick of it all. Sick of the degradation, objectification, loneliness, and the disconnect from God. I've been celibate since NYE 2022, but still struggle with porn consumption, masturbation, and lustful thoughts. And if I'm being brutally honest here...I'm afraid I'll never experience the joy of sex again, because I'm almost 50 and the likelihood of finding an available man who is a practicing Catholic feels slim-to-none. Sounds selfish, I know...
I'm a 26 year old male Virgin, and a Filipino 🇵🇭 cradle Catholic. Although I did watch Porn as kid, and still has Lustful thoughts because of me READING Erotic Fanfictions. Thankfully Mama Mary and the Lord Jesus Christ ✝️ has PREVENTED me from the SIN of Masturbation, but I still STRUGGLE with Lustful thoughts.
I hope you find all that our Lord has in store for you. And know that you aren’t alone. I myself have been failing to these vices recently. Pray for strength, obedience, and deliverance and pray that all who need it receive it. God Bless you.
@@tinag7506 its kind of taboo so to speak, never once has it been talked about in the Protestant churches I've been a part of or attended. Usually what is talked about is sex before marriage. I think the topic is viewed as a natural human thing to do.
The only reason I think it can be helpful to recognize masturbation without pornography as better than masturbation with pornography, is that it helps me to feel more positive about the progress I’m making. Often the depression and helplessness I feel from using porn once is enough for me to fall back into the routine, whereas masturbation alone makes me disappointed but still inspired to continue persevering. Obviously the goal is to be free of both.
Amen. That's my strategy and it's been working well. The key is getting momentum. I haven't watched porn in almost 2 years and wanking is at an all-time low. Now that I have some momentum and positivity -- it's time to learn some sublimation techniques and eliminating wanking completely.
Thanks Matt for always keeping the battle for chastity in discussion. One of the most helpful things I have experienced on the path to freedom has been community. Being able to reach out to others during times of temptation and trial is crucial. Praise God for the gift of love, and God bless.
I don't have a porn problem, but I do have masturbation problem. I , honestly, think I just need to get married which isn't happening as fast as I hope. I don't like it but sometimes I just can't contain that desire to have an intimate relation. It is horrible. A costly couple of second of pleasure. It rob me of my peace every time 🤦🏾♂️🤦🏾♂️🤦🏾♂️. Please Pray for me, I think I am not strong willed enough when it comes to that and I need to be. Hoping I can get over it with the help of God.
Guys. Self-discipline is healthy. Guilt is not. Work is healthy, SO is fun. Religion is often confused with a drive to deny oneself any pleasure. I don't see the point. Maybe you'll be an angel some day. Be a human today.
ONCE YOU ARE LIBERATED FROM ALL FORMS OF SEXUAL ABUSE THE PHYSICAL EMOTIONAL MENTAL FREEDOM IS INDESCRIBABLE THAT YOU WILL EXPERIENCE AS YOU GROW CLOSER TO GOD AND CHOOSING CELIBACY WAS ONE OF THE BEST THINGS I EVER CHOSE FOR MYSELF JUST SAYING
I like how you make a difficult and embarrassing subject easy to discuss. Masturbation often leads to a habitual sin, not to mention opens the door to pornography and all of its ills. In a world where masturbation is often trivialized and even encouraged as part of development or intrinsic in a healthy relationship, it is refreshing to see you address this habit for what it is - a vice which separates us from the light of God.
C.S. Lewis was such a brilliant writer. And this was just a letter, not a published work. His thoughts, coupled with his stellar diction, is why he remains one of my favorite authors. Thanks for providing us with this beautifully worded insight. As a side note, Matt, I once had a friend who insisted masturbation was not only normal but necessary. I argued that the time I went weeks without engaging in that exercise was not only possible but psychologically healthier and strengthening, and that in addition, it gave me a better sense of self-worth.
Absolutely incredible. Thank you so much for sharing, this seriously was the best answer I've heard on the matter, praise God for CS Lewis' brilliance..
I wish I'd heard this when I was a teenager (27 now). I also think Lewis's quote is applicable to reading or writing smut. Like visual pornography, smut creates an unrealistic expectation of sex and is made to produce some type of sexual gratification in the reader. The writer makes his or her own fantasy world for sexual experiences, and the reader enters an imaginary world, created by their mind's eye as it constructs the scenes on the page into a mental picture, and mentally experiences sexual gratification.
Yes. The writings of older generations pretty much show that written smut was the video addiction of their day. Don Bosco had a vision of hell and was told "Most boys end up here because of bad books and bad company."
I appreciate CS Lewis's perspective on the topic of masturbation. It is quite a respectful way to view sex and women. I see many people treating sex casually and trivially, and I think it is a waste of the single most powerful motivational/driving force of life which pushes us to strive for excellence. Sure you can look at sex as just a pleasurable activity, but when you make such a big part of life into something “disposable,” the effect on people is a dulling one. It’s no wonder the modern world feels so uninspired, lacking in spirit, and hopelessly nihilistic much of the time despite having great plentiful wealth in materials. Philosophers and psychoanalysts who have thought about the role of fantasy might disagree, but they are still better than the wasteful, mindless indulgence in sexual desire without reflection, which seems to be the most common attitude toward sex nowadays.
I just saw the CS Lewis movie: 'The most reluctant convert'. They gently intimated at the topic, as Lewis as a young man was enamored with his dance teacher. He called himself evil and diabolic. The movie itself was good, and transports you into the culture of early 20th century Britain, which appeared to be utterly civilized, far different from the horrendously course and vile culture of the 21st century west. Diddling yourself is a mortal sin. Just the thought of confessing that sin, the utter humiliation, was enough to stop any thought I had of diddling.
@@carolinpurayidom4570 I have to disagree. This 21st century version of Western Civlization is in utter decay. Western culture is now putrid and in complete moral collapse. Even the church has given in to the sensibilitoies of the world, preaching heresy, filth, and eco-paganism.
@@carolinpurayidom4570 I dont know history, but you do? really? Well pardon me. What degree in history do you have to make such a statement? You like eco-paganism? well that makes perfect sense. I never said I was unhappy living now, I say the culture of the west has degenerated to a huge degree, and is full of filth and depravitiy, but you are likely way too young to have anything else to compare it with. But please, enlighten all of us on how early 20th century Britain was culturally worse than modern American culture. I'll wait to read your comparisons that prove your point.
To answer your question yesterday about the dislike counter being changed, from what I can gather it's to do with propaganda on the MSM. Great video you do good work.
Great reflections from CS Lewis. The part about seeking virtue in reality reminded me of this whole transhumanism, metaverse, etc stuff nowadays. Sorry, off topic but the selfishness of it all reminded me.
Thank you for talking about this topic. It is so relevant to today's world. Foremost are lovers of themselves..I say that because I was before I came to Christ. I love how you broke this down it is very insightful & helpful.
Hard habit for many people to crush. C.S. Lewis frames it so well. What can make it easier to defeat is understanding why it’s bad and why it actively hurts you.
It seems like every commentary on masturbation reduces to a criticism of porn addiction or an addiction to/ entertaining of lustful thoughts, but never really about the act itself. Though the correlation can easily exist, masturbation isn’t constituted by thoughts or images or videos, and there’s no other necessary relation between them either. Failing to make this distinction is robbing individuals of a harmless stress reliever and the only escape from sexual tension apart from marriage, based on an equivocation, or some other fallacy of reasoning. Addictions, thoughts of lust, and neglect of important relationships should all be shunned, but not at all confused for being identitical to things theyre merely correlated with. We do a pretty decent job of the former, but a terrible job on the latter, and if there is some sort of necessary connection there, then we’ve done an even worse job of communicating that.
Yes but we reduce an act that is something to be enjoyed with your spouse to just a act of stress relief. I feel like it's ruining the beauty of the act within the sanctity of marriage. It's also important to remember that it's pretty unimaginable that any man will masturbate purely without any stimuli at all. I tried this a couple times when I was younger and it inevitably led to boredom and me masturbating to people I liked and then slowly evolved into the really depraved stuff that exists on the internet. Don't fall for it. Shun it entirely and save sex for the person you love and don't make it something selfish.
@@DuzzinsSamaThose are good things to consider! First I would say that it surely isn’t unimaginable unless one has a very low view of the male mind (even if it’s taken to be accurate view of most cases, to say then that it’s therefore unachievable for anyone requires a stronger proof in my estimation). I’m not saying most guys can or are doing this however; that would probably be very unlikely as you said. There’s another slight but potentially significant difference there as well as sex and masturbation or even mutual masturbation are different things by definition. Masturbation (in this context) is stimulating one’s self for pleasure whereas sex of the various kinds consist of two or more individuals. Whatever those various kinds are that would take another individual to do would always require that individual to be your spouse for it to potentially be appropriate as you say, but to me that requirement seems to be categorically a non starter when applied to an act only realizable by the self. And finally, there’s a distinction to be made between selfish acts and acts done in one’s self interest. If you’re not neglecting your spouses marital rights, then I fail to see how it’s selfish, and if you dont have spouse to neglect in the first place, it strikes me as even more peculiar to view it as selfish (at least not any more than other activities we do like reading or playing a game or taking a nap, when being disciplined enough with our time to not neglect others or being controlled by our desires to retreat to self).
I've always wanted to write a fanfic about a man who, one way or another, really has a harem of such girls. That's not new or interesting. What would be is him one day finding he wants to love and not just be doted on by his creations. But here is the turning point, and I think I credit Lewis for the twist: his creations will not let him go and the horror is they persuade him, then coerce him to stay because otherwise they have no meaning. Then they nail him to the wall and he dies by the hands of the perverse creatures his power and money have contrived to give him pleasure and him alone. I'd probably get stuck on the first part, but it's a good idea all around, don't you think?
The point where moral literature and erotic literature meet is an exceedingly dangerous point. In the right hands it would be worthwhile though. I am almost certainly not the right hands though
Star Trek did a version of this in a very family friendly sort of way in one of the Harry Mudd episodes. Mudd is an imaginative swindler who stumbled over a planet of androids who allow him to remake them into the most beautiful women who waited on him hand and foot - in every way. By the end of the episode things didn't turn out so pleasantly for Harry. Star Trek handled the topic by alluding to it in a way that went over the head of innocents. Sometimes saying less is more.
Its an interesting concept for sure. But the thing is that it doesn't have a lot of real life equivalents. For instance if a rich guy had women coming at him from right and left, they wouldn't care if he slept with another women cause they're just in it for the bag. So its hard to say if it would have that slap in your face effect. However, I do think that some themes like this are discussed in various christian inspired anime, like full metal alchemist and the 7 deadly sins( I haven't seen either but I assume there's a section on lust). Its sort of similar to farenheight 451 which has the wife addicted to interacting with a fake family that lives with them via tv walls running along their entire house. The idea has merit, might be a good short story.
@@wilsonclaire3352 mind you, my inspiration for the idea is the fact that it is dangerously close to what you essentially do when you go surfing for pornography. In fact, I have absolutely no doubt that there are a few dozen pornographic stories, comics, and maybe even a few films that have a harem like this as the centerpiece.
@Pints With Aquinas This was a very insightful video. I didn't expect to come here and find quotes from C.S. Lewis that spoke to me as an artist with a big imagination! Could you please reference this letter source or where to find it? Thank you!
These days, as helpful as these videos are in teaching me things I didn't know before, I feel like I would face less temptation if I just switch to another topic. That being said, I really enjoyed hearing St. Thomas Aquinas and C.S. Lewis describe masturbation the way they did. Calling it "effeminacy" ties it to the New Testament references of people who will not enter the kingdom of Heaven. Scary stuff.
@Pints With Aquinas I made it over a month before my stones started to ache and become uncomfortable. I was generally feeling good and had no trouble refraining from the expulsion of my vital fluid. But the pain drove me to expulsion so as to get relief. How do I deal with the pain?
well, I already felt isolated and alone. I already felt lousy and ashamed of myself. But this has managed to amplify the feeling and help me feel worse. I've been around for long enough, know myself well enough and my relationship, or lack of, with God to know that things are unlikely to change any time soon.
I think it's helpful to consider the line that Matt left out from this quote where he placed the ellipsis in the video. In the line, Lewis actually recommended doing a study of the character of Mr. Wentworth in Charles Williams' book, "Descent into Hell".
There's a movie that came out years ago called Don Jon dealing with this subject. A man's addiction to porn interfered with his relationship with his girlfriend.
I struggle with this video, when we talk about masturbation as a problem or something to battle against we are missing the root cause of the problem. The real problem is lust, to discuss masturbation is treating a symptom rather than addressing the problem. Sex was designed to be in covenant relationship with your spouse. It was to build closer bonding with that person. There is nothing in scripture, that I have found that condemns masturbation. If a man was forced to be separated from his spouse for a lengthy period of time by, if by relieving the urge through the fixation of himself with his spouse I would not teach against that. We need to be encouraging those to be in a covenant marriage and not to lust after those images or desires outside that covenant.
"The danger is that of coming to love the prison." I've been struggling with a porn addiction for about 11 years now and every time I enter into those times of temptation I realize just how much I love my prison. God save me! Give me the grace to hate my prison and seek the true freedom of your love!
I feel like a failure cuz I caved after a 4 month streak. Worst part is that I won't be a Catholic until next Easter, so I've got to just sit with this guilt, with no opportunity to confess... hope this doesn't mean I'm off the wagon and will resume watching porn. I'm gonna fight it as much as possible.
...Masturbation -> ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-Oy8ixaxkEII.html If you are looking for justification for your actions, this video is not for you: The one true God, the creator of heaven and earth, the one who will judge everyone. is present when you do this thing. Angels and demons maybe there as well. If you feel guilty you are guilty. What you are thinking about is intent. Are you really any better than someone think about underage girls (Aqualung)? So you don’t cheat one your wife? But you really want to, based on your thoughts and actions. Start being a Christian. Don’t make a demon happy today
This is all excellent but what do you say to the single guy or lady who don't have an option of expressing his or her sexual desire in a lawful way with a spouse?
I'm not speaking for myself, but what advice would you give to someone in a sexless marriage? I've had someone bring this up to me once and I didn't really have a response. If their spouse has no sexual interest at all and masturbation helps the husband control his neglected lust (and release his resentment) in a way that keeps him faithful and content, would that not be a reasonable substitute? You may advise them to get marriage counselling or have heartfelt open discussions with his wife, but that is a separate issue - sometimes you can't make someone else care about self-improvement and so you can only be responsible for yourself. Just curious what you would say to someone in that situation; I have had two friends share that same experience and I feel sympathy for their situation and have thought about it alot, unsure what to suggest.
Good to see there's an alternative to NoFap available. That Reddit seems to have an overly secularized fetishization of willpower (but many good points as well).
Lewis' exegesis is excellent as to the real, deep damage that masturbation does. It creates an illusion of self sufficiency while cultivating, in reality, an existential estrangement which crumbles down the ability for establishing real relationships. In other words it damages severely man's communal nature.
Thank you Matt. I fell into the mind trap that master bating would be better than watching porn therefore masterbation was justified. I want to be better. Thank you for the video. I conquered the temptation right when I saw that you uploaded. I want to be completely free from this vice because , yes I do see this as effeminacy. Your doing God’s work.
The problem is that for men who can't find a real wife due to the terrible dating world we live in the harem is the only things that gives men happiness and so they go after it. It's easy enough when you are already dating or married to never masturbate but it is pretty much impossible to avoid masterbation if your single.
Literally 2 days ago I had a colleague try to explain to me that the Catholic position on masturbation was a "misinterpretation of one line in the Bible". I knew that was wrong, but, having had a few drinks and not thought of the argument in some time, wasn't prepared to explain the reality to him, though I tried. Now this video pops up in my youtube feed. Coincidence? :)
That’s such a frustrating meme. As if the for the entire history of the church, everyone was horribly mistaken, but Joe Blow pounding Miller Lites at the local bar actually knows the truth 🙄
To be alienated from one's body or from the body of others through obsessive efforts at control has its own dangers and any discussion of masturbation should point this out as well because a properly integrated sexuality is learned and not innate
Medieval handbooks for confessors, a guide for priests on hearing confession and assigning the appropriate penance, noted a continuum of the level of sin from venial to mortal being applied to the sin of self abuse, depending on the circumstances. For example, a bachelor who committed masterbation received a harsher penance than a married man whose wife was chronically ill and incapable of marital relations, and had only imagined himself with his wife was giving a much lighter penance.
@@caneloalvarez1516 Try prayer and fasting. Stay busy so you have no time for it. Stay off your phone and away from the internet except when others are around. Make yourself go to confession every time you sin. You need to persistently Jesus to give you the strength to stop. He wants to do this for you, but you have to cooperate with His grace. He LOVES YOU. He suffered intense torture and death on a cross to free you from this addiction, so you could be with Him in heaven enjoying God's perfect love, instead of being separated from Him for eternity in hell, with demons mocking and torturing you without mercy. Trust in Jesus!!
I see the Metaverse as a form of mental masturbation in the same perspective Lewis gives and expect we'll be having some nuanced conversations about it in the coming years as Catholics.
There is also the grave sin of mutual masturbation where one separates the procreative aspect that all sexual acts must have. Selfish as well as individual masturbation.
It's about time a professional discussed this topic by video. Many marriages have been ruined due to a spouse trying to hide this perversion while refusing to even discuss it. It's the secret that is most detestable, more so than the sin.
I agree with 99.9 percent of this video. However the time when u were younger listening to music pretending people were admiring you I do not find this to be a bad thing.
"But [imagination] had also a bad use; to provide for is, in shadowy form, a substitute for viruses, successes, distinctions, etc, which should be sought in the real world." This convicted me, not for masterbation so much, but for daydreams. I've wasted so much of my life in fantasies that hindered my ability to live those around me.
One of the best ways to quit masturbating is to put on some anointed Christian music when you feel tempted. That spirit will eventually leave. As your persistent with turning on anointed music when you feel tempted, that spirit will start to weaken.
A person who adores him/herself is called a Narcissist. Narcissists are children of the "father of lies" since they lie to themselves about themselves. There is humility in truth.
As a recently returned convert to Catholicism and practicing celibacy, thank you so much for this Matt and all your work, just got your " How to be happy " fantastic.
Pleasure seeking behavior with no boundaries is like an addiction looking for drugs. Looking for dopamine. With no meaning or purpose. I’ve struggled with this so much before being saved by Christ. Pints with Aquinas is the gold standard for Catholics(and Christians :)) for religious content. I’ve learned so much from this channel as a reborn Christian 🤍
As a person who's had some victory in this area after 20 years of bondage and trying everything, I will save you a lot of searching and tell you what to do. Consecrate yourself to Mama Mary and Fast at least once a week.
@@george.s.8491 well, I had to quit my job in June cos of the vax mandate so I've had time and its easier to fast Wednesdays and Fridays consistently since I'm not working. I quit Fridays as it was affecting my health so I just keep a full food fast on Wednesdays and then abstain from meat and all digital activity on Fridays. Spend the day in prayer, reading about the saints and meditating on the passion of our Lord. It has helped greatly. I can see his grace at work.
The sin is actually not the big M per se - but the reason behind it - the big L, or Lust. So, when liberal Christians say that there is nothing wrong with M, just inform them that it is by definition based on Lust - one of the 7 Deadly Sins. Also, one tip: the people who have this problem the most are single people who live alone. One thing that really helps is getting a practicing Christian apartment or house mate, if that is possible.
@@drooskie9525 Well obviously there are different types of desire, right? Lust is a type that objectifies another person purely for sexual self-gratification.
Lewis penned the greatest summation of what pornography is when he wrote about it in Screwtape Letters, how men “vent their desire on something that doesn’t exist.”
In a feminist driven world the average man has been denied affection he has been told to man up he is left with only what motivates his mind and his integrity against insurmountable odds, Confronting self and living with out makes the struggle x1000 to bare as each passing day go's on, add to this the fact that sexual abuse has played a role in may young lives as young as 12 + which in turn opens a door and paves the way to sexualised immaturity or un preparedness for adulthood in a sexual context with Love and meaning. Mgtow has become a natural state of seclusion and growth for many men and to me I find removing all fornication and replacing it with self masturbation keeps others from being used or hurt. As we all can see clearly the family unit as we know it is under attack and has been for decades now the value or sacredness of ones marriage is determined by the ability for the the wife to remain merciful and not complacent or motivated through hypergamy, but rather Love her husband in stead of make him the competitor in her secret fantasy based imagination, Man up is the common response is it not? and not take away the only relief a man has when nobody else gives a damn or cares about his well being zero physical interaction for men over many years leads to many issues that are fought alone on a battle field that takes no prisoners. To me this concept of no fap is a great ego boost but in reality each man validates his feelings and emotions as each day passes the battle is real. great vid.
Help me to make this make sense! There are some in the comments, especially those of the Catholic Faith, who pray to the Viegin Mary for answers, which is blatant idolatry. And there are Catholics, who say that masturbation is a horrific sin and idolatry. WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?? How in the world can you elevate one sin over the other? Help me understand, please.
Noble goals. But truthfully, I have never met a man who did not masturbate. Show me one single man who has not masturbated not once in 10 years and I will show you a saint.
... and I'll show you a man with a low sex drive. Not the same as holiness. Not to be flippantly sacreligious, but why are priests known for sexing kids more frequently than civilians? Because they have no other outlet for their repressed sexuality and the pressure breaks at the seams.
@@AdDeRidder fair enough, some physiologies are peculiar. I agree with the holiness bit. Personally as a typical sex drive kinda guy I have found this goal impossible. Although with maturity I have more self control, the masturbation bit seems best in moderation, nothing to be repressed.
I agree porn is evil. So its the wrong way to meet ones natural needs. Then I'd like to know ... what is the RIGHT way? (Assume the person doesn't have a sexually available spouse because they are too young to marry, they are in a sexless marriage, medical issues, etc etc).
