The debut of The Text Message Song, written for Cait Doyle by Drew Gasparini. September 20th, 2008 at the Duplex. Directed by Jonathan Whitton. Vince Peterson on keys, Dan Delaney on cello.
I had no idea this was by Drew Gasparini. Seen him (and reviewed) at 54 so many times... HOW did this fantastic song drop out of the Drew repertoire? So effin funny.
There was a time when life seemed better, The sky seemed bluer, the sun seemed redder, My skin felt newer, my lips felt wetter, Manhattan could freeze, but no need for a sweater. Because I had someone, and he was perfect, yes I had someone. My loneliness was gone, cos' I had someone, who held up my world, and carried me close. That someone, was John. Until that skank from his office, convinced him to dump me, And everything we had, like she was better. So without any notice, no lunch, Not a phone call, no email, not even a letter. He was no longer mine. So for you men, No!, you boys With your stupid smelly faces Allow me to give your best lesson, Never dump a crazy girl from New York, With a text message. This is no time to LOL, oh well, could have been worse. I know its hard to believe, But I still have that message saved. Kate, I hate, how much you talk when we're together. (said) Spelled with friggin' two. BTW's I like Laura now (said) Laura, the skank. And stop calling her a skank (said) well she is We've only dated six weeks (said) and a half The whole time I just wanted to shout That we're over, cos' we're over And he ends it with Seacrest out out. No! no! I'll show him I'm not a mess How can I respond to him in a 100 characters or less. Dear DB, DB stands for douchebag, Why don't you GSB, grow some balls, Cos' in the walls of my mind in The halls of my mind there is no room for you at all. So do your thing, I won't stop you, cos' I know that I'll be a sensation, when I, S U Y B F S H T Y Y L O A Y S I L D I'm sorry, translation, Sex Up Your Best Friend So He Tells You You Lost Out And You Sink Into Lonely Depression. Oh John, BTW's, SM. translation: size matters.
Hello Cait...where do you get your material. Is it original or published? I am a vocal coach in Orlando, FL and am looking for material in this genre and would love to speak with the composer to get my hands on some of the songs I see you singing on RU-vid. By the way, Great Job!
I don't know who this is, but my daughter is Caity Doyle. It's apparent her parents also knew that the only way to spell Caitlin is like that. No K's, No y's unless it's Caity. I gotta love anyone with my baby's name. She's good, and funny. Like my singing Caity.
Eu já vivi o amor perfeito Com céu azul e um sol vermelho E nada me parecia errado Podia sair sem levar casaco Porque eu tinha alguém... Era perfeito... Sim, eu tinha alguém Que sempre estava lá Pois eu tinha alguém Pra me proteger e me consolar Seu nome é John Até que veio uma vaca surgindo do nada E ele me trocou sem sofrimento Sem qualquer motivo, sem nenhum aviso Sem ligar, sem mandar um e-mail Ele me abandonou Então pros homens, melhor, pros garotos que não crescem Permita-me dar um conselho Não termine com uma louca através (de) Men(sa)gem de texto Não é hora de KKK "Três Ks" Nem de L-O-L Acreditem em mim Eu guardei pra ler pra vocês "Cait, te odei(o) pois você não cala a boca" Boca foi B-O-K "P S C eu gosto da Lauren" Lauren, é a vaca "Não a chame de vaca" Mas ela é! "Nós namoramos apenas um mês Todo tempo eu tentei te dizer Que acabamos Acabamos" E termina com "Câmbio, des(ligo)" Não! Não! Vou mostrá-lo como é! Mas como eu posso responder Com menos de cem caracte(res)? "Caro O" O é de Otário "Por que não V PT" Vai pastar "Pois eu não vou reclamar Eu não vou te esperar Vou fazer essa fila andar" "Então por mim Tá tranquilo E_é melhor não achar esquisito Se eu S-S-A-P-S-C-P-V-C-F-S-E-D" Desculpe... Traduzindo... Seduzir seus amigos pra saírem comigo Pra você ficar só e depressivo John, PS TI
Guess I finally understand what is wrong today. Women have sex without love, and then wonder why they're alone and unhappy. Please tell me women don't have sex with a guys best friend just to make them angry. Ugg. Is the world of today so shallow? Really? The song is very clever and funny in the beginning, but so childish and spiteful in the end, how can anyone laugh? This isn't funny, it's sad. Size doesn't matter, but moral values do...whatever happened to them?
Root Beer You are right, of course, and I didn't mean all women. I know many men and women who wait for sex until marriage, in spite of all the teasing they get, and they are happy. I just hope this song isn't indicative of reality.
Helium3 while I wouldn't personally have sex without love because I get jealous easily you still have to realize that people can choose who they have sex with as long as there is consent and it's kind of shitty to shame someone for having sex with no strings attached. People just need to know how to communicate and be on the same page and be straight forward so they don't get into something they don't want to
