A lot of people are also not considering the cons of marrying without her guardian as wali. As when things go wrong, walis are more likely to feel responsible for your happiness if you involved them in the process. If you cut them out they're more likely to let you deal with it all yourself come what way. Can cause permanent cutting off as well. Should only use leeways in the most extreme circumstances after exhausting other options.
the wali doesnt always know best or have your best interest in mind. There are fathers who are sexually attracted to their daughters and do not allow marriage to take place, The concept of wali is sexist and further infantilizes women like they are children who needs "Daddy"
But what should the never marry lady do realistically if she does not have anyone around at all and no one wants to take the responsibility of being a guardian including local scholars? And she needs marriage as well as guardianship either way
As salaamu 'alaykum sheikh. I hope feedback reaches you. I think you are a scholar deserving of much respect and thus put much weight on your words. Although I don't disagree that polygamy shouldn't be frowned upon on itself. But will you please reconsider to promote it as a solution to the problem of spinsterhood. It is not so that there is a lack of the number of men. Rather, there is a lack of islamically educated and practicing men, lack of men who can take care of a family, lack of men who have the foresight to work on themselves so that they can get married early, lack of men who want to give up the pros of single life, lack of men who accept sisters that are divorced, widowed, 'spinster' aged etc. Furthermore, many men fail to raise an Islamic home, fail to give the rights of the wife and children that they already have. Moreover, many men are abusive towards their one wife. Besides, is spinsterhood and the rate of single divorced women not high in countries where polygamy is normal? Especially when women are educated (thus normally don't marry very early, at the age that many men and their families prefer them)? Many women prefer to not get married so early, but when they are reaching thirty, they are considered unsuitable, more so by the family of the man. Women also wait and try to find a practicing, educated, providing and well-mannered man, because these qualities are lacking. Number of men are not lacking. This leads to the problem of spinsterhood. Due to these reasons I think it's unbefitting and potentially dangerous to give polygamy as a solution to spinsterhood, as people do use the words of scholars to achieve their desires using Islam, even though they fail to give the rights of the wife (good manners to start with). So I urge you to reconsider and be more nuanced in your future lectures. May Allah reward you and your family.
Yes I agree with this. Allah and His messenger has allowed polygamy. And I dare not raise my voice above that. But if we are going to turn to polygamy as a solution, what are we doing to our men. Yes we want the issue of spinsters solved, but how can we turn our eyes to the root of this issue- the way our men behave, the way our men practice or not religion. That has to be, has to be the primary focus. And if it's hard to find a man who can provide, take care and love one wife, how can we expect someone who can do the same to many wives. That's not fair on the men, neither on women. The most practical solution is to try and fix men to accommodate a single wife. Because having multiple wives is a huge, huge responsibility. Something that needs to be considered financially, legally, psychologically. In my view it is very to find men like that. If we place that as a solution, we are burdening men who are 'good'.
@@zainabfahim8714 agreed! I added the question whether spinsterhood and single divorced women are erased in countries where polygamy is normal. Especially when education rate of women are high.
I agree, As muslim brothers use polygamy as just xtra intimacy but not being just between both spouses financially or emotionally. some women are choosing to become a second wife just to have children however they raise them like single mothers and in a western society they are seen as single mothers. we need to teach our sons to be responsible men as if we don't we will end up like a few African societies where women do everything while the men just have children with no responsibility this creates a society that does not support the family unit which is so important in islam .Allah SWT has given the right of polygamy to men however a lot can't or won't take care of one wife never-ending many..
Very wise words of advice, love how you look at all perspectives. ماشاء الله But who allows the boys to stay remain boys? Who raises the boys? Whose the first school of the boys? Who covers up blindly for their sons? The men and women of today are a product of our short falls, our I'll thinking, our failures, both men and women. There is much to say about this topic and a comment section does not suffice as a platform to discuss this. But please don't blame a dog for going wild when its never been trained. That responsibility is of the owner(s) (sorry for the analogy)
Totally agree with you shaykh 100% ....Muslim societies practicing polygamy don't have a problem of spinsterhood....everybody gets married wether divorced or widowed...and I trully understand why Allah azzawajal allowed polygamy in our Religion!! JzkAllahu khayran
It is a common misconception that the Hanafi School unreservedly allows a marriage without the consent of the woman’s parents or her guardian (wali). However, the matter is not as simple as that, and one must understand the Hanafi position properly before coming to any sort of conclusion.
About marriage being a "communal event," what if the sister whose Wali is in question does not care to remain tied up with her family due to lifelong abuse? What if she wouldn't mind the family being broken up because she wants no part in the injustice and abuse anymore?
