true for me !! I have failed in every aspect of my life by now but I wasn't like that. I only anticipate something bad because of my constant experience of bad outcomes in past.
I totally agree with you. I know that I do this to myself because if repeated bad things done to me. This video had helped me so much! I am thankful I found this
I don’t know about tomorrow, I just live from day to day, I don’t borrow from it sunshine, For its skies may turn to grey. I don’t worry about the future, for I know what Jesus said, and today I’ll walk beside Him, for He knows what is ahead. I don’t know about tomorrow, it may bring me poverty, but the one who feeds the sparrow, is the one who stands by me. And my path will be my portion, it may be through the flame of flood, but His presence goes before me, and I’m covered with His blood. Many things about tomorrow, I don’t seem to understand but I know who hold tomorrow, and I know who holds my hand.
This hits. I have a problem with really convincing myself that what I'm catastrophising about it is genuinely gonna happen because 'trust your gut'. I need to remember that not everything that I think about it real
the only time when i think and talk positively is when someone else is worried or anxious about something Edit: Since a lot of people have seen my comment, I just want to say that everything will be alright and you should all take care of yourselves. I'm doing better now and if I could do it, so can you! Reach out to family and friends, or a professional if you're struggling with something
Same here!! I found a good way to try to work around that, I like to pretend I'm talking to my younger self when I need some self compassion or self love.. it's not easy still, but I've found it works for me this way(you'd never say have the stuff you say to yourself to a younger version of yourself, would you?). Also helps heal the inner child, just a suggestion☺💜
I was always a worrier! Looking back, 99% of things I worried about never happened. Stuff happened I could have never anticipated. After 50 years, I finally have given up expecting bad things. I realized I cannot see the future, and I was making myself depressed and anxious trying to avoid pain, which usually never came. But I had screwed up the present moment! I hope others who read this and watch the video realize it much earlier in their lives! Sending love to all💜
I am 24 and must say that this is true. I worry about everything and rarely something comes true. And if everything goes alright and not as bad as expected I just feel "lucky". I dont feel like that it is normal that nothing bad happened. I more feel like it is my lucky day.
Thanks for sharing this. I'm gonna try my best to improve my way of thinking. Anxiety about things that could possibly never happen makes me feel without direction.
Pukpuk I started meditating, I listened to Landria Onkka, Abraham Hicks, Ram Das . Through spiritual practices I realized I am not my thoughts. Thoughts can be thought of as clouds which I can watch pass, without my self attaching to those thoughts or negativity. I used to take 1 negative instance and spiral my self into a deep depression. Now I just say, that’s interesting, and probably not even true. I don’t give the negativity power or feed it. I focus on a totally different subject I feel good about. I don’t watch the news, or much tv at all, really. I’m careful about what I put in my mind. I forgive others immediately when I get my feelings hurt, I used to retell what happened bad to anyone who would listen. I just refuse to feed negativity and my life has changed in so many beautiful ways!
@@rehanfarooqui2071 how do I make myself truly believe this? I tell myself reaffirming thoughts like this so the time but they do nothing for me because I don’t feel that they’re true and I can’t let go of the negative thoughts/emotions. I also feel like doing these things will be a waste of my time because these techniques just seem too simple, and I sometimes feel that I’m incurable and unable to change.
She didn’t say that. In fact what you just did is what she is talking about. Listening to things and taking them wrong so that you never hear the solution. Perfect example dude.
I really thought that imagining the worse that could happen would make you feel better once it happens, because you haven't had much hope to begin with. It sort of became a principle in my life. I didn't realize it's a vicious cycle that keeps you continuously anxious, paranoid and alert all the time until I watched your video. Thank you.
Please take her advice. I'm 68yrs old now and have been trying to change all my life. After 35yrs of therapy i'm living with the guilt of not beating this. Don't give up and remember , you are valuable
This is basically me 😂 My brain is split into 3; one part is ruminating, the other part is catastrophizing and the other part is fighting to prevent the other two parts from overtaking. Sometimes I feel like my head will explode
I totally do that, I eventually completely block out the thoughts or refuse to let myself think about the thing I fear and just feel the fear of it without even thinking about the thing.,... If that makes sense?
@@Joesfosterdogs As she said in her video (and from my experience) the root is frequently in childhood where you might have been told very bad things will happen if you don't do something.
Looking at the good effects of psilocybin mushrooms on depression I had a test, the effects of just one dose of psilocybin mushroom gave me an encouraging result.
@@Jeremo-FD beliefs are different from just the definition of believing something, so yes you kind of can choose to change your beliefs. You can choose to try to stop believing the bad things you say about yourself
@@Jeremo-FD 😀 people choose to believe all kinds of things. weather it’s more well known things like believing in a god, or something that is more mocked like believing the earth is flat, you can believe anything you want and you can change what you believe by telling yourself certain things. You can believe the sky is red, its telling yourself enough times that you believe it’s not that hard
Y'all are a lost cause if you knew she made this before COVID then you knew she wasn't talking about it 😐 she's talking about fear of social settings because of fear of rejection. No mention of a pandemic whatsoever.
Totally. I’m starting to think it’s a fine line, bc being realistic can slip into negative projection . I’m trying to learn to look at the problem instead of entertain my “problematic thinking”. Since I’ve been focusing, I’ve improved some!
The truth is there IS a fine line between a realistic outcome and a catastrophist one. All anxiety is rooted in reality, it just runs away if we let it. Like worrying that if you leave the house in a lightening storm that you might get struck by lightning.. it’s incredibly unlikely but shit it could happen.. is there a point in worrying about it? Not really! More chance of anything else happening 😄
My parents raised me to be fueled on fear, to let fear rule me and keep me “safe”, this “safety” is drowning me and I’m ready to come out a better me ❤️
the first step in coming the best version of yourself is recognizing the thoughts and habits that are causing you daily pain and anxiety, it's extremely hard to do that and i'm proud of you! i hope your reconstruction is successful and great self-happiness comes to you!
Man I grew up with a mom who constantly told me anything I did that she didn’t like she would take me outside and show me the homeless drug addicts and say I would be them if I kept making mistakes and that I couldn’t get right and it would definitely happen
Good on you 💯 Confidence does not come from a sense of perfection, or "fail safe" environments. It comes from imperfect action, not taking oneself too seriously and maintaining a curious mind and observing and serving others.
1. Get some sleep 2. Accept uncertainty. Build up emotional muscles. 3. Motivate yourself by what you want, not by what you fear 4. 1)notice catastrophizing 2)challenge those thoughts. Don't need to believe your thoughts, let them pass. 3) replace with more helpful thoughts. Other possible outcomes.
I always talked with my kids about “not turning everything into a crisis”. You can only handle so much. Seeing everything as the worst thing leaves us unprepared and too fatigued to respond to a real crisis.
"Self fulfilling prophecy": I learned this concept in university. It's one of the most memorable psychological concepts that got stuck in my head. When you believe you can't make it, you won't make it - Your way of thinking solidifies itself in reality, because it influences very strogly how you behave.
thats why manifestation has some truth to it. you believe you are nothing you will become nothing. you believe in yourself and work hard you will get somewhere, maybe not exactly where you wanted to be but definitely better off.
I have totally been in the midst of this thinking/overthinking, catastrophizing, anxiety, and depression cycle. It comes from a necessity to feel safe. Great video!
@@2112res To quiet thoughts in your head, try practicing meditation. Sit in a super-quiet room with your palms pointed up and enjoy the silence. You will feel thoughts floating in and out at 1st. Eventually they will begin to quiet and be replaced by a calm silence. Remain "In the Moment" and try not to worry about the future or past as they only cause fear to spread. Also remember thoughts are simply information flowing through your body.
@@2112res The optimal solution is to learn to become friends with your thoughts. Why fight against the flow of the Universe. An example would be how Stand-up comedians have thoughts in their heads all the time, but learn to use these thoughts creatively. Musicians, poets, screenwriters, artist all have thoughts flying in their heads all the time. However they have learned to express these thoughts in creative was. Your thoughts are what makes you unique from everyone else, and you should find a way to share them with the world. Both as a release and as part of finding your true purpose in life.
@@infiniteuniverse9528 I won't condemn your thoughts of universal flow, etc. It seems to work for you. I AM a comedian. At least I amuse myself, with my dark, dry sense of humor.
@@SaraLovesCats88 EXACTLY omg this also happened to me in the past prior to 3 weeks into my breakup w/ ex and when I did an excellent job at maintaining my academic things. Everything was going too well that I constantly getting depressed that i might lose all of it... and that actually happened :|
Worry is perhaps the greatest addiction there is. ET would say that "thinking" is the most destructive addiction that afflicts man, but too many people misunderstand when you use the word "thinking" without defining what you mean. For too many people, worrying and thinking are largely the same thing.
1. get a good night sleep. 2. accept the uncertainties of life and don't label uncomfortable emotions as bad; train your emotional muscles to learn to handle those emotions. 3. motivate yourself by positive goals and do things because you choose to do them and not out of fear or duty
Exactly. WALK in the sun light. Early morning first 30 minutes of sun rise look into the sun and take it in deep breathing and don't close eyes. Never look into the sun after the first 45 minutes sun rise. Only before the first 40 minutes. IT WILL HEAL YOU.
I’m a recovering addict… when I went into treatment the counselor stressed “there’s no such thing as normal”. Stop and think for a moment, we’re not cookie cutter images of one another, my “normal” isn’t your “normal”. What I respond to or not, may affect you in a completely different way. I look at it “as finding my truth”, who I am, what are my triggers, my boundaries. So if someone tells you, “Why can’t you be more like so and so?” let them know you’er just you. I want to encourage you to “learn” to love yourself, don’t wait for it to come from the outside. You are truly a great and wondrous person, and you deserve all the good that will come to you. If you can’t feel grateful for anything, dig deep within yourself, try to find even the minutest thing you can, even if it’s just your next breath, a smile from a stranger, a simple random act of kindness you were given to be grateful for. Tell yourself, “today I’m going to give one person a compliment”, their shirt, their smile, just pick something and go with it. Watch their face light up. I was told, “We are all just walking each other home”, I believe that with all my heart. Of course there will be those you want to pu/ch in the kister, but remember that’s a fel/ny. I have an on going appointment with a therapist, I vent to her. There’s ups, downs, and sideways, peace, anger, depression, dopamine highs, and they all rock my world. But that’s okay, not okay, okay, I’ve found I’m just a human and all that is. I’m commenting from July 23, 2024, I hope (pray) you’ve found some peace in this world. Grace to you…✨❤️🔥✨
I'm a "what if" person. I can play out a scenario from beginning to end in my mind, and in reality, experience all of the emotions and anxiety in my body. I feel fearful and angry about the scenario I made up. I'm also thinking of ways to prevent the scenario in my head from happening in reality. It makes me feel unsafe and that the scenario is inevitable. I always think the worst will happen. It's so tiring. I'm glad to find out there is a name for what I've been doing and that other people experience this too. Catastrophizing...I thought it was just in my nature to be worrisome and stressed out. I sometimes believe it's a personal strength that I can imagine of all the worst things that can happen, like a psychic, so I can prepare ahead of time for the worst. My husband is the opposite, so level headed and grounded. I'm so fortunate to have him in my life! I've done this for so long I don't know what it's like to have a peaceful, quiet moment in my mind. * P.S. Let me just say that I am fully present and in tune with reality. My thoughts take turns into different scenarios, possibilities and outcomes that are based on REAL possibilities. I am a deep Thinker, a Skeptic and and a realist. I don't believe in any of the gods, angels, fairies, heaven, hell or Satan and that the Bible is a magical book inspired by any Devine being. I read the Bible for entertainment like any other book so Bible thumpers although I am prone to catastrophizing I catastrophize about REAL possibilities. Groveling to a magical sky daddy that you cannot detect in any measurable way and trying to convince others to see something you imagine that you see, hear or believe you detect when no one else can is a different diagnosis. You'll have to refer to the DSM for that. I catastrophize, I'm not delusional.
I can relate from the first to last word you typed. My husband is the same and sometimes wished to be like him. I too prepare myself for the worst and thought I could think of every worst scenario in the world. Don’t worry we got this. Hope everything is well so far. Don’t forget it’s okay to make mistakes, as long as you pick yourself up.
Same for me at most times, and my boyfriend has a similar way of handling things like your husband. It’s more annoying for him though and he doesn’t like that I go to him with all my worries, buts, and ifs. Of course I get emotional with all those thoughts and I get irritable, anxious, and so on :/ I’m trying very hard to change not only for myself but also for my relationship.
@@AmoreMiu I don't know if certain people are more prone to worry than others. I'm a Virgo. Although there are a lot of things I don't understand about astrology, and some of it is probably hogwash, I must say that I identify with most Virgo traits. Worrier, critical, analytical, over thinking, intelligent, perfectionist all mixed in with my life experiences. I think I make things hard by trying to get a head start at solving problems that I anticipate I will have rather than going step by step and waiting to see what happens without jumping the gun. Thank goodness my husband helps me think through things and I feel so much better when he puts things into perspective for me. I know it annoys him at times. Sometimes he doesn't know what to say but he doesn't show frustration. He can tell when I'm heavy in thought because I get super quiet for long periods of time. Then he asks me what I'm thinking about and I let the flood gates open. 😆 Thank goodness he has stood by me through it. ❤ Men, in general, are simple creatures. They only think about what's important in that moment and they aren't as emotional as we are. When they hear what we are thinking they probably get overwhelmed because they can't believe we can juggle so many thoughts at once and they simply don't know how to help us relax and snap out of it. That's probably why your boyfriend gets annoyed is because he feels helpless and he doesn't know what to do or say to help you. Sometimes just holding you and listening is all he can do and sometimes that's all we really need. It helps when they can make you see where you may be going too far too fast and try slow you down and help you think about things differently. Sometimes though, they just feel helpless and hearing us just makes them irritated and frustrated. Maybe let him know you're not trying to annoy him, you just need to vent and talk and you trust him. You're not asking for him to fix you, or to have the answers, but just to listen and give you feedback, if he has any to give... it takes some of the weight off of them. 🤗
I have suffered from severe social anxiety and depression since forever, I'm 25 now. The best thing we can do is to improve by 1% per day, don't go all out on trying to fight it. It's a long battle
Wolfie it is not necessary to wait any longer, replaced the negativity with God's word, this helped me to be calm and think better - hope it helps you too - ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-5G6Nh4VvSR4.html
@@sayyer10 We just got to make best of what we got. If anxiety started at 40, that means before that you knew how to live without it. So just try to use all that experience to your advantage
I never ever comment but im worried bout my friend and uhmmm well fo u have any advice i can give her... She also has severe anxiety and it making her depressed
Can we all just acknowledge that this woman is wonderful?! I know she makes money off these videos, which is a compensation for her time, but when you think of the amounnt of people shes helped that arent willling to or cant afford therapy its such a beautiful life spent !
“We suffer more often in imagination than in reality” - Seneca “He suffers more than necessary, who suffers before it is necessary.” - Seneca “If you knew how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought.” - Peace Pilgrim
i feel like that too man, i try to think of it as gaining a balance. The extreme highs of getting better and the extreme lows of spiraling into anxiety and depression can be recognized and mitigated, over time the bad is not as bad and the good is not as often euphoric, but, isn’t that the goal? to be balanced? i think so
I have this same problem but it also happens worse with friends and family. I googled it and it’s called Abandonment Issues. For some reason I feel like I have to overcompensate to people because if I don’t they’ll leave forever. Then it’s worse the day after because I’m always thinking did I do good enough as a son/friend? And when I don’t hear from the throughout the day it spikes out of control and I cant get my anxiety under control. Im smoking cigarettes again because of this. Anybody care to give some advice? Please, I don’t want to take medicine because of this
I have this same problem but it also happens worse with friends and family. I googled it and it’s called Abandonment Issues. For some reason I feel like I have to overcompensate to people because if I don’t they’ll leave forever. Then it’s worse the day after because I’m always thinking did I do good enough as a son/friend? And when I don’t hear from the throughout the day it spikes out of control and I cant get my anxiety under control. Im smoking cigarettes again because of this. Anybody care to give some advice? Please, I don’t want to take medicine because of this
Catastrophizing” perfectly describes my view of life over the last twenty five years. It has kept me frozen frequently - afraid to do anything because I expected a disaster if I did anything. It started off as kind of a joke - expecting the absolute worst - so I could be “pleasantly surprised” when the worst case scenario didn’t happen. Experience did not make me learn to be more positive - it just continued the stupid self-inflicted mind game. I’m getting better - but still have a long way to go,
I remember having the same 'pleasantly surprised' rationale as you when I was younger. I used to think back on that reasoning to reinforce the idea of expecting worst-case scenarios because if you expect the worst, you're bound to be pleasantly surprised, right? I never realized how detrimental that thinking can be.
You have saved my life, being sent from one mental health support service and back again and around to others in a time of absolute crisis! I’ve been stuck in a anxiety and panic attack loop for about 7 months, it just hasn’t stopped. Your videos really helped me understand a lot of what was going on and had been a constant source of uplifting and a positive reinforcement on the absolute worst of days, and even on the good ones. Thank you so much for all the time you’ve put in to your channel. Single handedly you’ve done more for a lot of people than an entire funded organisation can do. Bless you x
are you okay nowww? 2 years ago in quarantine I got a Gerd disease or hyper acid reflux, it caused a bit of pain near my heart ( esophagus ) and gave me weird headaches. Never have I thought I out of all people would get depressed. Ever since I was a kid I was always PMA always positive even in my dark days. But when I got my gerd disease I got depressed and anxious for 6 months straight eventually I got okay. But now it returned, I got gerd again because I ate unhealthy foods and due to lack of sleep once again I am depressed and anxious hopefully this goes away sooner than later. Do u have any tips for healing?
*What is if, the worst has happend? What is if, your worst expections became true?* I always struggled in school. I barely passed high school. After that I workled my ass of to start college, since its a requirement where I live, to get a somewhat decent job. Like in school I didnt write good enough grades to get my degree - despite I worked a lot. I even changed my major three times. But nothing helped. After five years, I left coolege without a degree. I used all my savings. For nothing. The only job I could find, was as a cashier at a local fast food restaurant. I work there now. Despite that I suffer from loneliness. I never experienced love. Every single girl rejected me. I never had a hug, a kiss, a date or a realationship. I go alone to bed, I wake up alone. I need to pay everything by myself. The few friends I had have left me to start a family. But I dont blame them. I would have made the same thing. I am lonely, poor and slowly sick because of this constant failure in my life. And the worst thing: _I never "catastrophid" anything. But it seems the catastrophe came to me. Yikes._
Good thing you said "literally". I'd hate for anyone to think you were speaking rhetorically. Or hyperbolically. Or ironically. Thank you for making that distinction.
My method when anxiety comes is to treat it as a kid, another part of me that hasn't mature yet, I always think of something positive to talk to him and calm him down.
There’s an Erin Hansen poem that comes to mind with this topic: “There is freedom waiting for you on the breezes of the sky, and you ask, ‘What if I fall?’ Oh, but my darling, what if you fly?” Whoever you are, may you find the courage to take the chance to fly
I’ve been with my wife for almost 5 years and she has always had this mindset. Everything you described down to the T has described what’s happened. Her parents were constantly treating her like that and she grew up in a broken home. I just sent this to her and I just wanted to say thank you. Helping me as a husband, better understand my wife and what she needs for support and growth.
Thank you for being there for her, the fact that you found this, watched it, and sent it shows so much support for her already. It's the most you can do for someone in this situation, support and understanding.
I am so glad that you are doing this for your wife! I wish more spouses did the work to understand their loved ones lie you are! Kudos to you for being a great spouse!
"We suffer more in imagination than in reality." -Seneca "You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this and you will find great strength." -Marcus Aurelius
i’m crying so hard right now bc the thing that i’ve been doing my whole life had a name all along. i feel relieved and validated bc it’s not only me who does it and there are actual ways to heal from it but at the same time i feel sad and devastated bc of all the things i ruined for myself and other people bc of catastrophizing 🙃
*What is if, the worst has happend? What is if, your worst expections became true?* I always struggled in school. I barely passed high school. After that I workled my ass of to start college, since its a requirement where I live, to get a somewhat decent job. Like in school I didnt write good enough grades to get my degree - despite I worked a lot. I even changed my major three times. But nothing helped. After five years, I left coolege without a degree. I used all my savings. For nothing. The only job I could find, was as a cashier at a local fast food restaurant. I work there now. Despite that I suffer from loneliness. I never experienced love. Every single girl rejected me. I never had a hug, a kiss, a date or a realationship. I go alone to bed, I wake up alone. I need to pay everything by myself. The few friends I had have left me to start a family. But I dont blame them. I would have made the same thing. I am lonely, poor and slowly sick because of this constant failure in my life. And the worst thing: _I never "catastrophid" anything. But it seems the catastrophe came to me. Yikes._
@@ceooflonelinessinc.267 im sorry bro. i hope you'll find your happiness in life. i relate to you ab the working hard to get good grades and yet not getting what u expected. but pls try to think positive. if u wanna talk im here
6:46 is me. I often ask myself what is wrong with me. Why does my brain work this way? I feel so frustrated that I cannot control my anxious thoughts even though often I logically know they are irrational.
*The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. - Here’s a guided meditation for you : **ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-tzxHr48bz1o.html*
This is exacting what I’m experiencing at the moment and it’s exhausting. All day I try to combat my negative limiting beliefs with positive thoughts and it feels like I’m making a thought sandwich in my brain. Do you have any advice on how to silence the mind at will and emotionally detach yourself from negative thoughts?
I always have the philosophy of think the worst and then most of the time its not as bad so seams a bonus. I now totally believe that we create our own reality
It seems that the reality we construct is the result of our thoughts, behaviors, and actions. Certain lifestyles lead us to a lower state of consciousness, Hell, while others lead us higher, Heaven. It depends on what life we choose
Things can always be worse than whatever they are at any moment. Just as room for improvement always is possible or exists to. For me I am used to having horrible events or life circumstances befall me. So understandably for decades I thought the horrible things always would just keep happening. Even if they do your attitude can changing can make a world of difference. When it comes to dealing with adversity. It gets better through putting yourself in uncomfortable situations. Confronting the negatives no matter how insurmountable it might appear.
So true! Our thoughts create reality. If we allow ourselves to think the world is against us, everyone wishes to crush our hopes and dreams - that does seem to lead down the road of self destruction which makes that thought a reality 🤔
I get so nervous when i see the titles on some of these videos because i know it's going to resonate with me really hard and bring up the flaws i beat myself up over, but hearing them highlighted by such a calming presence always makes me feel better by the time it's done. Thank you :)
I had the same feeling. I didn't want to click on the video when it was recommended but still got curious bc of the therapy. I didn't regret clicking on it. In my opinion, it is really hard to expose yourself to this topic. I would rather forget it and distract myself but obviously it will come back. And I learned that exposure helps a lot so I hope you too can improve and can live a "peaceful" live . Wish you good luck 🍀
*What is if, the worst has happend? What is if, your worst expections became true?* I always struggled in school. I barely passed high school. After that I workled my ass of to start college, since its a requirement where I live, to get a somewhat decent job. Like in school I didnt write good enough grades to get my degree - despite I worked a lot. I even changed my major three times. But nothing helped. After five years, I left coolege without a degree. I used all my savings. For nothing. The only job I could find, was as a cashier at a local fast food restaurant. I work there now. Despite that I suffer from loneliness. I never experienced love. Every single girl rejected me. I never had a hug, a kiss, a date or a realationship. I go alone to bed, I wake up alone. I need to pay everything by myself. The few friends I had have left me to start a family. But I dont blame them. I would have made the same thing. I am lonely, poor and slowly sick because of this constant failure in my life. And the worst thing: _I never "catastrophid" anything. But it seems the catastrophe came to me. Yikes._
Many of us have been formally taught to think of "the worst case scenario". In fact, there's a saying "Expect the best, but be prepared for the worst." it's considered a smart way of running your life. However, you're right - it is depressing to think worst case for every situation.
I think its just a matter of state of mind, you can't read 'expect the best' and think of the worst already. being prepared is not about living through the worst in your mind over and over, but being strong and able to adapt, accepting the nature of life
Yes, I agree. I picked up the habit from my mother, who picked up the habit from her mother... I am bound and determined to change this generational trajectory!
Yep. As a programmer, I’m trained to expect the user will always do what they should not. I believe this contributed to my catastrophic attitude towards life.
A previous therapist taught me that I’m always looking for chaotic situations because of my PTSD. I’m so used to feeling and being in scary situations so I automatically create similar scenarios in the present day. Living like that for so long left me with the idea that being in healthy/happy situations are extremely uncomfortable and not normal. I usually expect the worst and overthink people’s reactions and I walk around so afraid of everything. I like this video in the sense that it addresses these issues.
Oh my goodness Norissa! You could have written that about me! I have CPTSD and I’m always imaging worst case scenarios and even feel comforted and normal when I have a real one to deal with. Wow. I’m having a self realisation moment.
this video may genuinely change my life. as someone who cannot afford therapy at the moment, this channel is my saving grace. I am so passionate about all of this and learning as much as I can, and I can’t thank you enough for this channel and the content you put out. you are an angel❤
*The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. - Here’s a guided meditation for you. Take care of you. **ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-tzxHr48bz1o.html*
@@katyfallon5324 honestly for me it’s impossible to sleep and i just rather not sleep as well. If I don’t sleep then I have more time to myself. Sleeping is good but sleep consumes a lot of time which can be used to do other things.
I have a real hard time feeling positive about something because so many times in the past when I have, something bad immediately happens. It's almost like the universe (or whatever) senses my positivity and decides I've become arrogant and slaps me with some unforeseen setback. It's happened so much that it's made me afraid to think anything's going to turn out well.
I literally just need a genuine long warm hug from a person I love and I’ll feel all better. The longer I wait and the more time that goes by, this wound just kinda grows bigger and bigger. And bigger.
Wish I was there to hug each other bro, because I've the same wound, but don't let these bullshit thoughts dictate your actions (same applies to me), hope to see outrselves healed (update me and I will do the same) !
Mushrooms have been studied for their potential benefits in treating depression. Some types of mushrooms contain compounds that may have antidepressant effects.
Same, man. Recently I realized that most of my 31 year life Is driven by fear... Just don't beat yourself up over it, at least you can see it and admit it 🙂these are the first baby steps to growing and healing. You can do it, my guy
On the other hand, as John Cale once sang, "Fear Is A Man's Best Friend." I think he means that in a positive, healthy fight or flight type sense, not in a negative one. Like, I had a minor health thing the past few weeks, I ended up freaking myself out about it and I realized it was stupid, I had to go and get it checked out, which I did, and after 3 hours in the ER, it was treated and nothing serious, I am ok. It's the fear that drove me to seek treatment, though. I'm terrible with things like that due to Asperger's, anxiety, health anxiety, white coat, and other things. Mostly totally irrational, but some of it due to negative past experiences. A few. But fear in this instance, was totally healthy! As it happens.
@@rosierose7059 sometimes I wonder. Take heart though. I hope your day/year/life gets better. Challenge your thoughts. I'm trying this technique. It's not perfect but "what if bad thing" and say "that's weird brain, why are you being dumb?" It's not 100% effective but it let's your brain know it's not perfect with perfect thoughts lol
@@Authorthings It takes lots of confronting and challenging negative thoughts for them to go away, but it's worth it the whole way through. My meditation teacher told me that you have to look at your trash before you take it out. Recognizing thoughts for what they are and not reacting to them feels uncomfortable, but over time they just lose their sticking power and eventually stop bothering it. Persist and you will overcome.
I know! And the terrible feeling of thinking something bad will happen to your loved ones. You realize how much you love them , but then how quick all good go away. I personally think I will never get nowhere, or that I will never be happy for too long. I don’t wish this on anyone.
You guys might find something useful written by the Thai monk Ajan Chah. It's called "the cup is already broken" and, to me, is an excellent way to turn fear of loss in the future to gratitude right now.
I am getting so much more out of these videos then I have with therapy. Thank you so much. Suffering with a panick disorder for the past year has been so hard, learning not only that it's possible to heal but how to heal is giving me so much hope that my future will be better. ❤ To anyone struggling know that there is hope for better days.
this is how i’ve been feeling for the past year, like i’m trying to hold on to my sanity but reality always proves to me that i’m not actually losing it. it’s such a weird headspace to be in cus you’re really doing it to yourself, lol. you stay strong as well.
It's called dementophobia, I've had it for years. One of the things I'll do is convince myself I'm on the verge of hearing voices or seeing things that aren't there. It gives me intense anxiety everytime and it hasn't really gotten easier, but I have found ways to avoid the thoughts that trigger this feeling over time. We'll push through bro
Laughter is good, having good friends are good too but here I found a better solution which I can find immediate peace - it helped me I hope it helps you too - replaced every negativity thoughts with God's word, this helped me to be calm and think better - hope it helps you too - ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-5G6Nh4VvSR4.html
I needed this. I see threats everywhere. I've started depressing lately over how many things I might have missed out on because I always feared the outcome and stayed away.
*The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. - Here’s a guided meditation for you : **ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-tzxHr48bz1o.html*
Thank you, Emma! I’m a terrible catastrophizer. It has robbed me of so many years of my life and so many opportunities. Your video popped up minutes after I had finally taken one drop of an herbal medicine that I have been wanting to try for a month, but I have been afraid to because of my sensitivities. I’m so tired of fear ruling my life. This is great advice. I think I was hurt so much as a child that I’m afraid to put myself out there and I don’t like feeling vulnerable. No pain, no gain. I want to be a stronger more courageous me. Thank you again.
@@margaretdoliet1630 We can do it! Remember to just take one small step at a time. Rome wasn’t built in a day. We have a lot to overcome. If you’re like me, you’re probably too hard on yourself. We need to give ourselves more credit for the small things we do every day. I’m sending you a hug! 💕
@@Art_and_Anxiety Me, too, Katie. I was in bed for nine years with what I thought was chronic fatigue syndrome, but then when my husband had sudden onset Lewy body dementia, I discovered that I could get up because I had to. I missed out on all those years of his life and now he’s gone. I think I was just afraid to face my mother’s death, so got “sick“ and then just never got up because the longer you stay in bed, the harder it is to get out of it. I’m drowning in regret now, and I’m trying to be kind to myself, but it’s difficult. We can never get our lost years back. And I still find myself in fear and negative thinking after that! Fear and anxiety are so difficult to get rid of. I keep working on it though. I have a feeling you’re stronger than you think. It turns out I am, but it’s almost as if I have to keep proving it to myself over and over or I fall into the same negative thinking. Here’s hoping that one of these days we’ll be able to change it once and for all, or at least get the better of it most of the time. Sending you love, luck, and light. 💕
Typing this with some tears in my eyes. I've been on a catastrophizing spiral because of some unexpected financial setbacks and a streak of rotten luck. I needed the clarity of your words to lift some of the burden and make me think a bit more rationally and kindly. Thank you!
It is similar to what I tell myself from time to time - I have a still, deep inner essence that is always there, never affected by what I think or say or do. This inner essence/core is the decider. It is not the same thing as the decision. It can therefore take different decisions.
As a recovering alcoholic, we call this “living in the wreckage of the future.(And sometimes the past) I never realized that my lack of spiritual condition was causing me so much anxiety and worry. The key for me today, is “acceptance” that everything happens exactly as it is supposed to. Acceptance allows me to stop fight “everything and everybody”. A daily dose of gratitude doesn’t hurt either. I live in abundance today, happy, joyous, and free.
That’s a beautiful perspective. To be the devil’s advocate, let’s just say everything doesn’t happen the way it is supposed to be or the way it’s supposed to be say is extremely unpleasant suffering? another ice age wiping out earth as we know it happens because we fail at adapting to our environmental issues and happen as it supposed to. How it’s supposed to be can be touchy-feely sweet and happily ever after or dying on street after losing job house car insurance? That’s good reason to vote so we why we don’t get another neoconservative oligarchy watching the serfdom dying from COVID-19 and homelessness while they play God , betting on our survival as if we were Dan Ackroyd and Eddie Murphy Yes I am depressed as hell its a conditional and now trending.
@@susant8809 God has given us life to be happy. Meditation heals anxiety as it reprogrammes the mind. Watch alternate nostril breathing meditation videos on Google and do it for 5 to 10 minutes if possible twice a day. You can sit on a chair and do it. Inhale and exhale slowly. Read the benefits of this meditation on Google search. Negative thoughts will reduce. Make meditation a daily habit and enjoy life. Shyaaam Sir--Mentor.
I have chronic kidney disease and recently found out my remaining kidney has gone through near complete shut down. Been so scared of my future since I have 3 daughters... Terrified actually. This video has been a great help. I didn't realize their was a word for what I have been doing to myself. Thank you so much for the insight.
I'm the type of guy who watches videos and never comments on them. But this one allowed me to understand myself better and to attack my problems in a healthier way. I sincerely thank the algorithm for allowing me to find this video. Thanks Therapy in a Nutshell!
I know we have hate for RU-vid and Google but this algorithm this computer that man really does want to help people I’m finding… you’re gonna do fine! Remember nothing is certain and left bro take them risks take them chances when you’re 90 you’re gonna regret it that you didn’t just have fun go out there do your thing I don’t want to drown but I takeoff on my boat not certain if I’m ever coming back I love every minute of it
PLEASE watch the newer version of this video, I attempt to fix some of the issues with this video: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-bS2LPNlO07s.html There's nothing wrong with working at McDonald's! Any honest labor is valuable! I was referencing my client when I made this video- also I only had like a hundred subscribers when I made this video- I never even considered how this video would look to a million people. So I apologize if anyone feels hurt, working at McDonalds or any honest job is worthwhile and valid. I worked at a pizza place for 4 years during high school and college, I enjoy hard work, and I appreciate people who serve me, whether they're in food service, hospitality, law enforcement, retail, whatever. There's no shame in working for McDonalds, it's just that for some my client who was trying to be successful in college, working for mcdonalds "felt" like a catastrophe to them.
Don't worry about it too much, it's just people catastrophizing for other people in a sick way I've noticed these days. They don't have to have the problem they're complaining about to complain about it for other people LOL! Your video helped me through my anxiety and pushed my out the door for work this morning. I thank you with all my heart.
I only clicked on the comments to address the whole McDonald’s shaming. I’ve never worked in fast food but I have respect for those that do. It doesn’t matter where you work so long as you strive to do your best you can almost always work your way up. Take every job as an opportunity to better yourself. I own my own business and I’m successful but there was a time that I had to clear dirty plates from tables at an event center. I did so with a smile on my face and the intention to be the very best. If you are just starting at McDonald’s or you have been there for years hold your head high because any day at work is better than a day on the couch. You got this! Don’t let people with their stereotypes of failure get to you.
Ive been like this literally my whole life and i haven’t been able to keep friendships because of the way i am, i didnt really see that the problem was the way that i just sunk in my negative thoughts unconsciously thank you for that, I will try to remind myself of that destructive behavior everytime i feel like the world is falling apart thank you so much this helped me a lot because i do want to be better
I’ll never feel “normal” again.... seems to be my daily thought lately🤦🏻♀️ my panic attacks and anxiety have been kicking my butt lately😩 wish you where my therapist you’re so calm❤️
Yeah, I really think one of depression's big lies is that "This is who you are" or "This is how you're always going to feel" but the reality is that emotions come and go, and there's so much room for growth our entire lives. Keep working and learning and loving and good things will come.
My first step of stopping myself from "catastrophizing" is to embrace the reality that death is always unplanned and no one can escape from it and so, you should live life to the fullest whenever you can. It's seriously depends upon the circumstances of person and what kind of mentality they should take in order to address the problem at long term.
"Circumstances" being the operative word... I'm working hard since therapy but living to the fullest is not easy with an immune system weakend by chemo -- during a pandemic. In reality fighting cancer doesn't look like wonder woman - it looks like doing whatever you can to avoid infections. Which can also look like paranoia and catastrophizing. Tough to find a balance 😕
I was a bed wetter for 42 years. I had cancer, the urologist looked in bladder. Found a skin tag over nerve pack. Dry since. Now stay with me. I spent my whole life til 42 worried I’d fall asleep and wet. So I wouldnt sleep, or drink if I stayed somewhere . Talk about catastrophising. I finally have my self talk to almost always nice and I learned to expect what you get. MEaning I redirect my negatives and challenge them . Im not ashamed of the bedwetting. My Best friend since 9 is blind(since birth) he empathized that i had a disability and it is cured. that’s like him seeing .. Love to all
What works for me is to very conciously turn around at what I'm reffering to when I say I. Exacty what. Even if it takes few minutea I search and search.
A wise man once told me -- many many years ago -- "Men are not disturbed by the things that happen, but by their opinion of the things that happen." A very helpful thought for me over the years.
"I do not deserve of happiness in life" , "I'm not lovable and I don't deserved to be loved"; this has been my agonizing thought and belief for the most part of my life. Catastrophizing is my favorite habit, which perhaps led me that I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorder. I'm in the road to recovery, though I know it will be long and challenging, I will try my best to be the person I should be in the future. I'm still a work in progress. Thank you for sharing this video. I'm discerning to become a therapist as well someday.
yeah, the way my adoptive parents spoke to and treated me have left me feeling this way too sometimes the thing that gets me through a tough moment is remembering that i'm so much better off without them because their love wasn't healthy, they didn't love me and that's why i struggle to feel love for myself, to feel good about myself, and i think 'how dare they treat a child the way they treated me?!' because it has left me with cptsd and it always feels 'comforting' to find comments like this and i know i'm not the only one - it sux for all of us but at least we know we aren't alone in our struggles, and i feel like i can keep going knowing others are thx for sharing
Mac Life there’s no easy way out of mentally negative traps apart from finding the source(s) of the problem and having the courage to do everything you can to solve that without allowing the problem itself to become a reason to not act. Unless you’ve killed, abused and done malicious acts then you bloody deserve happiness and even then damn there is a road for forgiveness. I checked your liked playlist and it looks exactly like my own lol, good old music, psychology, Peterson, bible project. I guarantee you’re an interesting person
Mac Life, Meditation heals anxiety as it reprogrammes the mind. Watch alternate nostril breathing meditation videos on Google and do it for 5 to 10 minutes if possible twice a day. You can sit on a chair and do it. Inhale and exhale slowly. Read the benefits of this meditation on Google search. Negative thoughts will reduce. Make meditation a daily habit and enjoy life. Shyaaam Sir--Mentor. God has given us life to be happy despite our problems.
Thank you for this. I’ve been diagnosed with generalized anxiety, major depression, SAD, social anxiety etc, and I do this ALL THE TIME... usually results in a crying panic attack, I just had one about my mental health & marriage, thinking I’m ruining it. I just came across your channel, and now I have a bit of hope that I’ll be ok. Will work with your suggestions. Again, thank you so much 🙏🏾.
Robin replaced the negativity with God's word, this helped me to be calm and think better - hope it helps you too - ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-5G6Nh4VvSR4.html
I struggle with this too. What helped me (it's not a complete fix, but it has helped massively) is to choose one reputable news source and read/watch it once a day. Don't let yourself disappear down the rabbit hole of links to increasingly sensationalist reports (I know that's a lot easier to say than do); just read factual, accurate news for a short time every day, then get on with your life.
The RU-vid algorithm knew I got really depressed today, I felt like this video was reaching out to me, this is the first time I've ever heard of the term "Catastrophizing" this summed up how depressed I was feeling today.
Thank you for this great video. I’m a catastrophizer because my mother is the queen of this so I learned it. The other day I came home in tears from work. So I needed this!
With the farmer story, I'd have those thoughts and then when the farmer opens the door, I'd go, "H-hello s-sir, can I borrow your jack please?". I feel like when I get anxious, it doesn't turn into anger, it turns into fear. I guess some people might get defensive when they're anxious to build a wall to protect themselves, but personally, I just take the "play dead" option.
Every farmers story i ever heard has the farmer telling the stranger to stay away from his lovely daughter... maybe the psych people tell it a bit different and one must fill in the blanks in their own mind.
I would react as you say. Scared or without emotion. As she states, my ideal situation is to feel nothing but I tend to not be an aggressive person so if anything I would fear (likely that I have inconvenienced/angered them).
I spend way too much time on RU-vid, and I can honestly say that this has been one of the most affective, informative videos I’ve seen in a very long time. Needed this. Much appreciated.
I gained no benefit from CBT, but when my daughter had panic attacks, I gave her my CBT workbook with exercises. She found it very helpful. The best answer to these worries is, do the very best preparation, then don't worry. Once you have done all you can, worrying cannot change the consequences; it is a waste of time. So says the Sermon on the Mount, and Dale Carnegie's book "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living."
I feel you, but at the same time you can be stuck in a worry-preparing cycle like that if you feel threaten all the time. I think the extreme case of that is like a hoarder or OCD. You just can't prepare for every problem you imagine.
Pay close attention to anything you worry over, and see how most worries never materialize. Most things we worry over never happen. Small worries are very important with this technique. Example; driving along and a car looks like it might pull out in front of you, you plan for it, get braced for it. Then, it doesn't pull out. That counts as a worry that didn't materialize. After a few months of seeing most worries never materialize the mind will begin to relax. Good luck. PS, my personal catastrophizing was so bad I could barely drive or leave the house for a couple years. This method has eliminated all catastrophizing for me, it's been unrealistic worries free for almost 2 years now.
This channel has helped me more than I can even say. The two main ideas that have stuck with me that I use all the time to manage my catastrophizing are keeping the What Ifs out of my head (by identifying them and redirecting focus) and the practice of willingness.
I am exactly like that! Always have been for my entire life. Even as a little kid. I have always been anxious and now that I'm older it has gotten worse.
“If I reject myself first, I don’t have to wait for my crush to do it.” Well then... I think that line just gave me a breakthrough. Sometimes we don’t realize our own thought process until someone else (this video) points it out in black and white. It plants a seed that you dig deeper and eventually breakthrough and overcome the root of your issue. Is that how it works?
Every time I catastrophize I think about this quote: “Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?' 'Supposing it didn't,' said Pooh after careful thought. Piglet was comforted by this.”
But what do they do if that happens? And in case of the sample in the video, the man's issue was he slammed the door on himself. But all the possibilities he thought ab, are quite realistic, and shouldn't one develop a strategy in case any of it happens? Maybe u decide beforehand, which way to run? Maybe u take a thing with u that will help u to defend yourself in case he attacks? It could be anything, so why not ..get ready?
@@kensken8842 my thoughts exactly. i get what this lady is saying but i just can’t go into things without at least considering the worst case scenarios. it makes me feel safe and prepared :/
@@neptune2266 me too, but in the last year or so in life, I have discovered I was incapable of actually knowing what the worst case scenario is. Soo...turns out it's actually a bad survival method bc u condition your head to the "worst" and if anything slightly even worse happens, it causes a breakdown... At least that's what happened with me. I didn't rly consider that worse things could happen.
Wow I needed this. Thank you! This video just saved me from giving up my job tomorrow because of Catastrophizing and believing made-up scenarios and dialogues
Thank you! You’re the hero we need. Some of us don’t have the money to go to therapy. But I appreciate having people like you who make contents like this.
I experience health anxiety and I think these exercises could be really helpful for me. If I get any discomfort anywhere in my body, I immediately jump to panic and worst case scenario and it’s really unhelpful!
I have suffered from depression & panick attacks since I was 25. The lost of my son made it worst, I could be in a good place and it just creeps in. But, I'm an empath as well so I feel everyone's emotionals bad or good. It's very overwhelming for me but, helping other's is my mission. I will definitely try this for myself. Thank you 🌻
@doug gilbert Is that so? Idk why YOU would bring up demonic period! All you church people do that. Y'all closer to demons than us, psychic/mediums are. Learn about empaths, then come challenge me with your christ talk. Stop being scared of demons, im not.
@@MysticCrossingsTarot how long have you been into THIS STUFF? maybe that's got something to do with your panic attacks? 🤔 you might be way closer to demons because of it than you think? They love to see us sad, depressed, panicked. I know what I'm talking about...
"If we expect the worst we can prevent it" I literally think like that all the time thank you telling me that it's not a solution for upcoming events in my life 🌝
