Catholic Couple Must Divorce to Save Son's Life | New Amsterdam | MD TV 

America really makes their medications so expensive like staying alive is a luxury

I can't understand why they had that conversation in the room with the kid. Knowing that your parents are getting a divorce because of you is a terrible burden for a child to bare.

Wow this hit home. When my daughter had cancer and her meds after insurance were 10k per month they also told us to get divorced. As unreal as it seems this was their answer to us also. We worked it out.

"If civil divorce remains the only possible way of ensuring certain legal rights, the care of the children, or the protection of inheritance, [then] it can be tolerated and does not constitute a moral offense." - Catechism of the Catholic Church

Catholic here. This is not a hard decision. I'd "divorce" my spouse to save my child. You can literally still "date" each other. This. Is. Not. Hard. To. Do. And to quote another comment on here: "If civil divorce remains the only possible way of ensuring certain legal rights, the care of the children, or the protection of inheritance, [then] it can be tolerated and does not constitute a moral offense." - Catechism of the Catholic Church, paragraph 2383. And any church who would genuinely take offense to a life-saving divorce like this is, quite honestly, not a place you want to go to. That's one dirty Mass, so to speak.

I don’t understand how this is a hard decision for parents to make. I also don’t get why people still believe America is the greatest country on earth when you can die for simply not being rich. I’m Canadian and I understand my health care system has many flaws but I know if I need a kidney transplant, I won’t have to worry about paying for the surgery or medications.

Their insurance is heartless. They let a child die than pay for the pills. The kid should have immediately qualified for Medicare.

Wow I can't believe they put this on tv. My parents did this because of my mothers kidney failure. People just do not understand how little coverage we have for chronic illnesses.

A divorce on paper is not the same as a divorce in the eyes of God.

I am a Catholic and I would do it without a blinking of an eye if it would save my child's life. I know marriage is sacred but once you become a parent your child supersedes everything. That's my belief. Ofcourse people have different opinions. It's sad that people have to make such decisions in the first place in order to financially afford their child's life saving treatment. Thank god for go fund me and people can help whet they can 🙏

These two are so bizarre. I'm Catholic too. They can pretend to separate and just explain the truth to the parish! Then when the kid reaches the age where his mom can't be considered a sole provider anymore, they can just remarry! It's their kid's life, surely even the fckin bishop will understand.

At this point it wasn't even the "wrath" of God or breaking the sanctity of marriage that scared them but alienation from their community. Ironic how people will judge others in the name of God, the same God who is said to be all-loving and forgiving.

Speaking as a Catholic technically getting a civil divorce doesn't mean your marriage is over in the eyes of the church. That can only be ended with an annulment. Of course there would still be nosy people judging you, and it means you'd have to live apart from each other. It's messed up either way but at least if things change they can get remarried legally and they won't have to do anything with the church because they will technically still be married, if that makes any sense.

As a disabled young woman I will never as it stands be able to get married or I’d lose my benefits and medical care. It’s something that mattered to me till I found out from my lawyer.I’d have no hesitation.Their religion and religious community would understand to save their child

I have chronic health issues we lived below poverty level. I’m 31 and only JUST found out that my mom purposely chose to live this way in order to pay for my medical treatments. I was such an ungrateful brat always wanting the latest toys and complaining when I got a dollar store Barbie because we couldn’t afford a regular one. If only I knew then what I know now.. being a child I’d probably still complain, but yea It sucks I hear about financially stable people having real health issues but getting caught in the middle like this couple. It’s so sad.

This is sadly grounded in so much truth. People have straight died because healthcare in America is simply just too expensive. Being insured means you have to play by the insurance company's rules and uninsured means hospitals can jack up prices without consequence. Either way, in the end it's just basically too expensive to be sick in America.

boom! son will feel guilty all his life. stuff like that shouldn’t be discussed near the ears of children :-/

Imagine a health care system being that fucked up!

They can make it work as a couple. They can still live together, be a couple, be a family unit, as they were before. They just won't be legally married, but they can still love each other, be 'married' in thier hearts❤ God knows thier situation, God will understand ❤

Fear of communal alienation is real so I don’t blame the couple for being hesitant. When my parents split up, I was told I needed to get them back together and if I didn’t try it’d be at least partially my fault. I got no help, no support, and I realized my “faith” was based on rules defined by an institution that refuses to acknowledge it can be fallible. My worldview collapsed. I’ve never set foot in a church since.

My younger brother has several serious health conditions and can only afford it all because he qualifies for medi-Cal (California version). Every time his wife gets a few more hours or does well at work they get nervous. They've already discussed the possibility of a paper divorce to keep his help. It's awful that this is a real life thing.

I read a reddit story about wife who had to divorce so that his medical debts after he passed away wouldnt land on her. It was heartbreaking.

They left out the best part of the episode, where a cardinal who was being treated at the hospital presented their case to the pope and he blessed it 🥰🥰

This breaks my heart because for once, the couple REALLY loves each other, but the system is forcing them to divorce. It's easy to say it is on paper and it's to save your kid, but as someone who is happily married, having to end my marriage even to save my children would hurt like something awful.

And this is why, whatever the state of the NHS is at now, I'm still very grateful. I've had multiple surgeries and my mother has ongoing cancer treatment- without the financial burden.

It's stuff like this that makes me grateful for the NHS, even with all it's problems at least no one has to get divorced to qualify for medical insurance.

This… this is heartbreaking. So many kids of divorce think they are the cause of their parents divorce. But this poor boy now KNOWS he is. That’s going to cause a lot of later life trauma.

How the hell? They covered the heart but not the aftermath? How the fuck dose that make any sense?

It's so scary how accurate this is for the US health care system. It isn't right that actual people have to suffer through these things. These did nothing wrong yet they have make such a heart breaking choice just to keep their son alive.

These shows hit where it hurts. Awful that their son heard the conversation.

What baffles me is that people seem to be more preocupied about the divorce than about the fact that your medical system forces people to lie in order to be able of getting medical care. In my country everyone has the right to be cared by doctors. Medicines are affordable. Nobody would lose their House for medical bills!

It’s just a divorce on paper,not them actually separating ,just to qualify for the meds….they don’t have to actually separate or not love each other 🙄

The only treatment for my condition is physical therapy. Our insurance paid less than we thought, but I managed to keep going. Now I have another diagnosis and the doctor wants me to not only go back to PT, but start OT as well. We simply cannot afford it, because our insurance won't pay for it. I'm left with referrals that take months to come into effect and multiple chronic disorders that I can do nothing about. Just now, in between these sentences, I had to take a second to breathe due to a back spasm. Screw you, U.S. health care.

My cousin is not married to her boyfriend even though they have a kid and live together because she gets more support from the state for being a single mother. At least that’s what my mother told me.

This struck a nerve with me personally. I’ve had a lengthy history with Crohn’s Disease and being immunocompromised. My parents have worked so hard over the course of my life to make ends meet. We unfortunately have insurance through the Catholic Church, and as a result many of the more affordable medications I’ve needed in recent memory have faced several denials, because the Church insurance outright refuses to pay the cost, and mainly due to not believing in most modern day medicine. As a result, even as a working class family, 2k comes out of my mother’s monthly paychecks to the pharmaceutical companies for the doctor’s 2nd and/or 3rd recommended treatments that don’t work as immediately, and have to stockpile over several months before they take affect. Until these 2nd rate meds work to clear up inflammation in my GI tract, I’ve needed to make anywhere between 10-20 trips to the bathroom over a 24 hour period, EVERY DAY, for the last year, which has also lead to sleep deprivation. I can’t stand the Church a lot of the time. It’s either deny treatment that the doctors recommend that could’ve gotten me in better shape LAST fall, or the example in this episode-admonish and alienate a couple considering divorce just to provide for their child. And the vile part is, either way the Church would likely say God’s plan or something to excuse it. Whatever happened to “love thy neighbor?”

Every time I see something like this I feel incredibly lucky to have my country‘s healthcare and angry at the healthcare in the US

I have seen many people not marry just for this specific reason of having Medicaid.

I’m a Catholic and I understand about the divorce but, if it means saving mine child’s life, I would say, “ where do I sign”? I worked in the Emergency Room and we had a mom bring her baby in, the baby needed a blood transfusion and the parents were Jehovah Witnesses. They don’t believe in transfusion. The chief Dr had to make a call to a judge to override the parents decision. Religion plays a big part in people life’s but, sometimes decisions have to be broken

How true and disgusting is that and to know that this is really happening every day to Americans in this country this episode should really hit home

As the mother of a disabled child in the US I want people to know this is absolutely true. Social security disability does not look at the income of non custodial parent. My husband and I were told at social security office to get divorced..I have personally known parent who gave up custody of their child because as a foster child state would pay for his cancer treatments

I’m from a country with universal healthcare and this absolutely saddens me that type of situation can happen with the American medical system. I hope that at some point they will change.

Growing up, we had medicare and food stamps cause our parents lived together but didn't marry. My mom qualified for government assistance and it did help us a lot. (Me and two brothers) then they got married once we were in our 20s after we didn't qualify for medicare anymore. You gotta find ways to take advantage of the system that will leave you to die if you're not rich. 🤷‍♀️

Poor parents and kid. This is an absolutely dreadful, inhuman and disgusting situation to be in, especially since it's manmade.

As a parent the fact that they even had to think about it really pisses me off

It's not necessarily forever. One day, the child may get better with better or less expensive (but not worse) medications.

this is a tragedy through and through. I understand and empathize with both sides of the argument, and I'm at a loss at which one to feel worse for more

I love how these shows actually being light to real people’s financial issues with medical things. The things we have to go through and deal with just to LIVE is insane

$9000 a month for life saving medication??????? And America is the greatest country in the world huh

The attack on the family in America is so blatantly clear. So sad.

Good lord America is one messed up country. I feel for you all out there, who have to deal with a medical system as poor as this.

... He just told his patient's parents to commit fraud.

It's so sad that you need to be practically rich to survive any illness, which we all have at some point, if my family didn't have private insurance we'd all have health problems or (almost) homeless because of the cost

This is also not an option in real life. It takes months to get a divorce. He'd be dead before the paper work was filed

Thank god I live in Brasil where we have a public health system ♥

At least here in Brazil, the health care is FREE.

This show is SO addictive!

So what happens when they get the divorce, but continue to live together sharing a home, a child, and paying bills together. After 6 months it would be considered common law right? Wouldn’t they just lose the coverage again?

The parents would have already been well aware that their child was going to be on lifelong transplant medication. It's not the kind of thing that they forget to tell you pre-op

An old boyfriend of mine had to divorce his wife so that she could get disability and medical insurance. They still live together but are listed as roommates and she gets her benefits and health insurance.

As a person from a country that KNOWS health is not something that should be charged… this is insane to me

I would divorce in a heartbeat to save my son and so would my husband as tough as it would be you do what you have for your kids

Texas has a law that kids with certain conditions can apply for medicaid on their own and would then qualify since they have no income. I can't believe Texas is the only state that has this and I am sure a CHD would qualify him. It is ridiculous how much you have to sort of play the system though and know the ins and outs.

I would've never thought the "marriage penalty" could go THIS far!

Let’s not forget Medicaid waiver programs just for situations like this. This is a “bump to the front of the line” situation. Had a friend who’s husband made too much money for them to qualify. Their child was born ventilator dependent. They got the waiver pretty quickly so their child could come home on the vent. He’s since had a transplant and no longer needs the vent. There are waiver programs in every state, but some do have wait lists. My kid qualified for one after waiting for about 7 years. His condition wasn’t life or death though.

Okay but the insurance not covering the drugs is bizarre. This could be solved by getting a formulary exception which these doctors would absolutely sign off on as being necessary. Also it's possible to work with the drug manufacture to get the drugs for free. Or step therapy to find cheaper generic alternatives

It’s so sad medications are so expensive these days

Why was it never an idea for the wife to get a job?

I’m married and my partner and I come from catholic backgrounds. Marriage is 99% a legal contract. The 1% is religious. You can have a spiritual bond in marriage that doesn’t require for the government to legally recognize your marriage. A lot of people don’t seem to understand that.

This upsets me for them, I cannot imagine 2 parents having to divorce to save their child's life. It would hurt me if I had to do that, but when it comes to it, your child comes first. Not only that, but in this case they could probably remarry each other when Jimmy's old enough not to need a sole provider. Until then, the parents can still visit with each other and him and do things like a family. I also hope he doesn't blame himself for their divorce, it's not his fault, just the way things are.

This is just terrible ! $9000 US for medication ? Medicare only covers you until you are on a lower income and single parent ? Think the medication should be covered or at least the manufacturer should make substantially cheaper.

I know many people who are unmarried because of medical bills, it's ridiculous how messed up the system is

Seems silly to me to pay for the surgery but not for the medication after. The insurance company would end up paying out more in the long run.

Okay... This is just weird. They created a bond that's unbreakable in the eyes of the Lord. Just because they dissolve the civil contract that comes with it changes nothing on the spiritual side of things. Why would that be anywhere near anything like an issue?

what that kid must go through!! thinking he is responsible for breaking up their parents.

I know this is a TV show but this happens In relaty and it's sad that a family has to split apart.

CPhT here: drug companies know their products are astronomically priced. Generally they have a free drug program because they can write it off as charity and get tax breaks for it🙃. Even if you have insurance I recommend signing up for it. It's not like pharma is hurting for it

This is just about what happen to my Sister and husband under God. If they get legally get married, they make too much for my nephew to get Medicaid/Medicare. For his bad heart.

I appreciate this highlight very much. This is the reality of those below middle class in the USA. If I divorced my husband for the paperwork… we’d qualify for assistance. 16 years, we haven’t- we are blessed with healthy children and haven’t made the the “paperwork” decision.

The doctors letting the kid hear their suggestion was so stupid and insensitive, come on.

As a Catholic you can be married in the eyes of the church and not in the eyes of the law. So the reverse is true, you can divorce in the eyes of the law but remained married in the eyes of the church, this should be an easy decision

Wait. Wouldn't the dad still be on the hook for the insurance since he is the biological father? Can you get Medicaid if one of the parents has insurance that should cover the child regardless of parental marital status?

When I saw the title I really didn’t expect that to happen-

the worst part is that technacly they still love each other and have to do this which makes it more painful to watch

Well, when he is an adult, he would pay for his medication himself (or medicaid would do it for him, if he - not his parents - has a low oncome). It is not forever, it's just until he is grown up.

Can't they get remarried once Jimmy is of an age where he can pay for it himself? Or do they shill out for the medication for the rest of his life, even after moving out of said "single" mother's house?

I’m catholic and I thought that divorce by law does not really count, and only annulment counts as breaking it.

That little boy is gonna live but he'll live the rest of his life knowing he's the reason his parents got divorced. They couldn't see if he was awake first. 😭😭😭😭

This solution is the dumbest I've heard on a show 😭

People shouldn't have to get divorced to receive healthcare. Sacrifice capitalised healthcare.

This should have been a no brainer. You save your son, at all costs. Honestly.

Not even a second thought I'm single to save my kid. How can this be a question?

I was going to comment on the fact that I have seen some seriously messed up situations on House M.D. over the years of the show but this is pretty screwed up. Also to @Eric Gabriel Madrid the biggest thing here is the weight of this choice, yes the Catholic Church may not see it as a moral offense but the parents of a child should never be put into a situation like that ever. The fact that the healthcare system is so broken as to make them make that choice is something that should never have happened to begin with.

or another way move to uk or somewhere with the nhs where its problay cheaper

Being middle class is the worst because you are earning too much for help but you don’t get enough to live. Being lower class is easier than being middle and so is upper class.

I cant imagine valueing a piece of paper for the goverment more than doing whatever to save my kid

And the US is the greatest country in the world. If staying alive is a luxury, something is wrong here.

I know so many people that have tattoos or bracelets or some form of identifying to say Do Not Resuscitate.

Nobody should ever have to do that just to afford meds for their dying child. I hate that it happens like this in real life too

My mom's friend was in a similar position. She had a child and while they were almost middle class the kid needed medical help that insurance refused to cover. Doctor didn't suggest divorce, but did suggest giving the child to the foster system and they could be foster parents to their own child and the government would pay for the medical. This was almost 20 years ago now so it may be different but it shows how corrupt the insurance is.

If the situation were to be explained to their pastor, then they’d understand. A civil divorce does not dissolve a marriage in the eyes of the Church (since the spiritual bond of a Catholic marriage is beyond the State’s jurisdiction) and is also justified in cases of child’s welfare as other commenters have noted. Certainly there might be civil regulations they’d need to adhere to after the divorce but so long as either party remains monogamous to each other, they could literally fuck the law and remain married (canonically) without incurring moral penalties.