CBum On Letting Your Baby Cry It Out During Sleep Training 

Damn bro even his baby is training

I raised my son exactly like this, he's now my father.

Our plan was to do this as well but then I realized learning to fall asleep is a skill they need to learn so we sat by our daughter comforting her until she fell asleep. We’ve done this for a couple months now and she falls asleep within 10 minutes and sleeps through the night. This way we get the sleep we need to stay sane and she feels we are there for her.

Imagine a family member comes to your door crying and you don’t answer it and let them cry it out. That is the best example I heard that resonated with me. A baby was in a moms belly for 9 months and now it’s left to be in a crib by him or herself, all it wants is to be held and feel comfort in a different world they’ve been in.

A 6 month old does not need to be independent. Chris is right

As a 6 month old, I totally agree with this.

Dr. Gabor Maté spoke on this. You don't ever leave your baby alone to establish independence. You must show your love, presence, and acceptance. Anything less will result in trauma in one form or another.

I actually really like this opinion. My wife and I only a month ago started putting out near 2 year old daughter in the crib. She’s slept in bed with us her whole life besides some bassinet sleeping when she was 1-2 months old. When she awakes in the night and stands up crying saying she wants us we don’t ignore her, her brain is at the foot of our bed and we pick her up and bring her back into bed u til she falls asleep and the put her back in her crib. We always want our baby girl to know we are there for her and any emotion she feels is ok.

This is exactly why if I have a baby I’m not changing his diaper. He needs to learn that his actions have consequences. Sometimes in life, people aren’t going to be able to help you. I also want him to grow up and be a man. Men don’t poop in their diapers, they take them off first then go to the bathroom.

I studied both psychology and early childhood development. There was actually a study on this. The babies stopped crying but their stress levels remained high while the mother’s stress lowered because they didn’t hear the babies crying anymore. Babies don’t self soothe, they just realize on whatever level their brains are able to operate at that no one will come to soothe them.

As a Psychology student, I can assure you it's indeed the total opposite. The more you comfort your baby when it crys the more self reliant it gets as an adult.

Bro he is 1000% correct on this. Many cultures think it’s crazy that we do that kinda thing since children often sleep in their parents’ bedroom until they’re like 5 (in some poorer places they might share the same bedroom until they move out). Somehow hyper-individualism made us think that we needed to apply that to our babies too but like all research says the opposite

I am a 6 month old baby and I can truly say that this approach has helped me immensely in my cognitive development

Babies don’t need “space” they need closeness more than ever

So great he has such an open mind to learn and be better!

His approach sounds like one that would lead to a healthy attachment relationship between his baby and them... I'm really glad to hear it.

Dr Gabor Mate talks about this. He talks about how most mammals would never leave their baby crying, because it produces a stress response in the child. Self-soothing can often turn into a child not voicing their needs because they learned as an infant that when they call for help, it is not on the way.

That's a probably deeper conversation that I'd have when trying to lift heavy

Chris being a dad guy is all i needed to see today

Sleep trained all our kids. They're incredible sleepers now and get good rest every night.

CBum always seems like the nicest, coolest dude. Way to stay humble when you’re at the top of your game sir.

I've raised 4 kids, didn’t use the cry it out method. They'ree all independent and successful (so far). By teaching them as babies that you will attend to their needs, you establish trust so they feel more free to explore because they know you've got their back and won't abandon them.

My dad locked me in a separate room and turned the tv up when I cried as a baby. Did me wonders lol

In case anybody is confused here, Chris is not endorsing the idea of the neglect. He’s explaining to the other Chris why some people justify the neglect. He plans to do the opposite of what is described here with his child, aka give the baby the attention it needs.

when cbum was born, he drove his parents home from the hospital

Bro starting his kid training at 6 months.

Absolutely. Don't let your baby cry it out, crying is the only way they know how to communicate their need for you.

Bro gym talk, I love it! Chris's arm veins are popping, his eyes are squinted shut and he's totally listening. Just two dudes workin' it out.

Big man! Big respect, beautiful heart brother🙏🏻 💚

Myself and my Mrs have a 2.5 year old and I can completely agree with this and it has shown since in how loving and happy our little boy is. We have been very attentive with him, but he knows he is so loved and so happy, if he is feeling angry he will tell us, if he feels sad he will tell us, if he is excited he will tell us. That is because we have given him that affection to no everything is ok

Children are not one size fits all. Around 9 months my child got to the point where he would fight his sleep so hard and fight against us if we tried to put him up sleep. He wasn’t going to sleep until nearly midnight, we were tired and frustrated. It wasn’t good for him nor is. We began using the Ferber sleep training method and had immediate results. If he does cry going to sleep it’s for a few minutes max and he’s mostly half a sleep. I see it as fussy crying because he’s tired and wants to sleep but hadn’t been able to fall asleep yet.

I'm asian. My culture says to let the baby cry it out the whole 2nd month. Im so glad me and girl went against it. We were at the baby asap the 1st 3 months, but we talk to him like an adult and we have calm energy. I would play peek a boo from 3 sec to leaving 3 min to train him that I go away. He has severe eczema and because he trusts us at age 0 to 6 months (and onward. He is 3yr old blue) he allows us to do his wound care, he isn't dependent on neither of us. Either one of us can leave and he doesn't cry. He doesn't throw tantrums. Like twice a month. Now, at 3yr, never. I never experienced the terrible 2 syndrome. At 6 months he takes all his medicine without push back or fuss. Once a while when he is sick with fever he would push back but we would explain to give love and he would understand and take the medicine. He helps us with his wound care since 1yr 6 months by giving the necessary items. My sister in law let her 3 babies cry themselves to soothe. All 3 still have mommy complex and issues

That is very good and right thing of cbum to do, glad he has such intentions

Our baby woke up every hour and a half for the first 6 months of her life. My wife and I were going crazy, and the baby needed to learn how to sleep as well for her own well being. We tried sleep training and it was very effective, and we haven’t noticed any negative effects. Shes 17 months now and still sleeps like an angel, and the entire family is happier. I think people over analyze everything. Baby needed sleep, me and my wife needed sleep, we took necessary steps to make it happen.

I’m so encouraged by his words and the comments, neglect can seem like a small thing but comes in many guises and a neglected child is set for cptsd, and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

Best way to create avoidant attachment

What a great father

This is refreshing. A workout video with two dudes having a regular conversation. More of this please! And if you don't comfort a baby when crying. You're tell it that its alone from now on. It gets the message that during stressful times they cannot rely on others for comfort or resolution. For instance, if their being abused they when they are a toddler, they are less likely to come to you for help, because you've already commicated to them that they have to deal with the abuse by themselves.

I love Cbums speech pattern. Its very Golden Retriever. Also Chris just repping out curls while talking about something deeper is very humorous

There are studies that point to the fact that ferberizing leads to the development of less stress recepters which means stress responses will be prolongued and i believ this has been correlated with anxiety disorders

This is golden and 100% true. Imagen if you are sad or angry yourself, it makes the world of difference if those feelings/emotions may be there and people still love you for it.

Bro this took a wholesome twist. I almost tabbed away and then I heard the shift and my faith in humanity was restored.

Sounds like a good plan. But life has a consistent way of fucking them all up, especially with kids. I have one, too, and plenty of plans. You'll do well with such pure intentions, and will undoubtedly adjust when needed.

Two things can be true at the same time. People are so oversimplistic and overdramatic with these terms. You raise with actions not slogans.

So glad to hear you say this. We live in a screwed up society. My son is almost 3 and he’s allowed to feel whatever emotions he has and he gets love regardless. ❤

We do sleep training, but it has to be handled right so the baby can be attached safely. In the beginning she would cry from waking up not being in our arms, now she hugs us tightly before bed and gets comfy on our shoulders before going to sleep.

As a dad of four small kids - you dont sleep train because you want to teach the baby independence, it’s because you want to fucking sleep.

I’m with Chris. My son is coming up to a year old and there’s no way I want him to self soothe. I want him to know that he can rely on me, no matter what.

Girls are already loved for thier emotions.

This is SO awesome! Love this guy just got being a thoughtful father. The rest is gravy.

Let's be honest, as a dad of 2 baby girls.. one 4 and the other 1, you have the best intentions every step of the way.. but at the end of the day we are all learning on the job, we will never fully have it worked out. My first one I was sprinting and the first little cry, my second less so.. no right or wrong, just trying to do better every day

I had my babies in the early 2000’s and fell for the experts’ opinions on sleep training. I did it, and it worked to make them sleep alone, however, I think it caused trauma in my more sensitive children. One in particular suffers with anxiety and depression at times and we cannot pinpoint any other trauma in her life except that she had the worst time “crying it out” and I believe she did not attach emotionally, properly the way she should have because of the sleep training. She needed me to comfort her and I believed I was making her a more confident, independent child. I do not believe it to be a good thing now. Hold your babies, cuddle them, comfort them when they cry. You cannot spoil them in that first year or two with too much love and touch. There is no such thing as too much love.

Good man. Good parent.

I love how he’s saying this while bro is struggling in the middle of his set

My first question when people pontificate about raising kids is: have you done it? Have you done it multiple times? If not, STFU. I had one kid that absolutely needed to be sleep trained, to learn that you can do it, it's ok without someone coming for you every second. And her learning that at age 1 saved my life. I literally didn't sleep more than a few hours a night until we sleep trained her. After two nights, she slept through the night and is a smart, emotionally connected, independent and mature girl 10 years old. I had a son shortly after, and we never sleep trained; he wasn't ready. He slept in our bed, then his bed half the night, now finally his own for the last couple of years. We did completely different tactics for completely different kids. It was the same with potty training, with reading, with manners; everything. My point is that every kid has different needs. You need to understand what they can handle and when they can handle it. When and where you need to give them the opportunity to grow and build independence, and when you need to do it for them or guide. You won't get it right every day, but you learn and adapt. You don't do it in one step, it's many over the course of at least 18 years. Anyone that tells you absolutes or judges based on theory and not experience is destined to be wrong.

This is gentle parenting 101. Enjoy your life, CBum 😇

Nailed it. My wife and I took this approach and it's working out great.

My partners works in Early childhood , and honestly , she did a great job with our daughter and her sleep training

100% spot on! Therapist here 👋🏻 attachment theory and co-regulation. Look 'em up for true strength inside and out 💪🏻💗

Letting babies cry out is bollicks, it doesn't make sense to ignore your child and have them feel that no one is there for them. We shared beds for years. If you want to encourage certain behaviours, wait until you can communicate with them and they can communicate with you. Our boys are wonderful, now 14 and 17, and very independent but come to us when they need. We smothered them with love.

He went way into depth here 😂 my daddy just used to say “im busy I’ll get him at next commercial.” Haha

Damn C Bum’s brain is big as hell too this is some good ass parenting ❤

Baby Wise. Read it folks.

I gave my baby love during the day and because I'm a human who needs to sleep, I sleep trained him at 8 months. We probably avoided a traffic accident that way because in my bed he'd feed every half an hour and I was very sleep deprived.

Chris is spot on

Bro baby science.

He is absolutely right. I have seen parents put infants in dark empty room & it’s horrible. My kid slept in the same room till he was 3 and we loved every moment of it. Today’s parents are selfish

My partner and I have never done the cry out method with our 1 year old daughter, yes bubs will cry more but she feels so safe and calms down back to sleep when we hold her and let her know we're here. Our goal if anything is to let her know she can come to us at any point in her life, using the cry out method is teaching her at a very early age that her sad emotions will just be ignored, which subconsciously teaches her to not come to us if she is upset. So I completly agree with this bloke.

We raised our second like this and the difference is insane. Highly recommend it

He really is close to perfection. Physically and mentally. A rolemodel on all fronts.

"sleep training" = Let's actively create a disorganized attachment style in this baby by purposefully not reliably responding to its needs 🤦🏾‍♂️

Love these first time parents with all there spreadsheets, latest and greatest procedures and what not. I always love checking in a few years later. Hilarious

Bro is training his son to carry emotional baggage. The grind never stops with this dude😂

My gym bro and I talked like this, too, while training. My only gymbro in 20 years of lifting. I hope he's happy.

Spot on, a good father right here 🙌

Babies do actually need to learn to fall asleep on their own at some point. It’s part of growing up.

Dr Gabore Matte has some really insightful stuff on this subject: apparently leaving an infant to cry alone traumatizes them; after years of spiritual work I actually brought a memory from my infancy to the surface and it was I felt intense loneliness and a sense that no one valued my emotions.

That's great bro. Great stuff

cbum dropping that knowledge

It's interesting because that's how my brothers and I were sleep trained. Fast forward, I'm 27 with 2 boys under 2 and a beautiful wife and my son and I are closer than ever. He crawls into our bed at 2 knowing it's his safe place to be....thats something I never had as a kid. It's refreshing to see fathers change for the better through generations.

I’m 100% with Cbum! I respect his introspection and concern for things beyond himself.

I didn't even know Chris was a dad, fuck he seems like he would be one hell of a dad, guy is literally the definition of having your shit together.. wishing that man and his family nothing but happiness and health.

This man is absolutely right

Wholeheartedly agreed. We have 2 kids, both are not sleep trained. So much better for them to feel the comfort of their parents. We did co-sleeping. Good job CBum!

Leaving a baby isolated in the wild is a form of abandonment and abuse. Isolation in prison is considered torture. Act accordingly.

Chris thinking to himself why CBum talking so much during his set 😂

A sure-fire recipe for avoidant attachment disorder, encapsulated in under one minute. Bravo.

Wise and thoughtful father ❤

As a parent of 3 I can say with absolute certainty that babies have different cries that are very distinct. They have a hungry cry, a pain cry, an angry cry, a frustrated cry, and to think that you should react the same way to all of them is odd.

Love this conversation and the setting it’s taking it place in

Brilliant message❤

my man is gonna be overwhelmed putting this much thought into it. I don't think raising a kid was that difficult.

That’s one definition. Another is to be functional you can’t have the baby in your room until they’re two, so you put them in the other room and if they fuss too much then sure go see what’s going on, but not to leap at every noise they make

Look into attachement theory, when a baby stops crying after crying a long time it shuts down to protect itsself .. u cant spoil a baby with too much closeness until its one year old!! It needs reassurance to be safe! U destroying your babies confidence for life if you ignore your baby

I didn't know that one day I would need Cbum to make a Dad advices channel

Hearing this convo from bros in the gym regardless how scripted/filmed is honestly pretty cool

He's 100% right - sleep training is terrible and amounts to neglect

Cbum is gonna be a phenomenal dad

Baby grows and hearders with an m and gets a hug 😂

When I was a baby I was taken care of by my 2 older brothers. I was kept in the crib & cried my eyes out. All they would do is turn up the volume to there video games or come to my crib & push my down to shut up. After a couple more times. I stopped crying so much. I learned how to swim by my uncle throwing me in the water and letting me struggle. Helped me once I stopped panicking. I love the beach & pool now. This generation is soft & that’s why a lot of men or soft and emotional boys. I’m now 22 years old & more of a man than both of them. I agree with this. 💯 percent. This is how you make a strong human being. Now a crying emotional tantrum throwing boy.