Let’s also have the conversation that for some body types, a flat stomach is near impossible to ever achieve. At my smallest, under 120 lbs with lean arms and legs, all my fat tissue was stored in my middle so I’ve literally NEVER had a flat tummy while eating super healthy, rubbing 4x per week, and lifting 4x per week. Now I’m heavier, but I still lift VERY heavy and run and walk, but still have a tummy because that’s how my body is built! Every body will be different and some (like me) have rolls even posed!
Same, in my family we're pear shaped and on the petite side, our shorter bust needs to keep our organs in place still so a flat stomach is pretty much not possible because uh, instestines and uterus and all need space. And it's ok, that's how we're built. Besides, my anxiety issues got me IBS as well so I am always a bit bloated. It is what it is, I just dress in a way that favours my best traits, with flattering colours as well, and it's enough to make me feel good about myself.
I was complaining about being fat and my pants being tight to a friend at work. A week later I said, "My pants aren't tight anymore. Don't I look great?!". She said, "Yeah, what did you do?". I said, "I got new pants!"😊
Glad you have pants that fit now but diet and exercise are beneficial! You can keep getting more fat, buying new sizes and then you’re unrecognizable with that mindset.
@ntheobsn 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️ yikes. You're part of the problem.. They said nothing about their lifestyle.. This type of judgemental and unhelpful comment really just sucks. Weight fluctuations are natural, and sometimes we need different sized clothes. Did you even watch the video? Smfh.
As someone with a natural biological thigh gap no matter how I pose, I always tell people that nobody has ever come up to me and said, "Wow, what an amazing thigh gap!" It's more like, "I love your hair!" A lot of things people fixate on about their own bodies, nobody else will be bothered by, and they probably think you look pretty.
I had a ballet teacher when I was like 6 tell my mom I'd never have thigh gap lmao. I'm 50 and don't care lol It didn't put a damper in my child modeling career either. :-) I was a print model and did a lot of work featured in Parent in Child magazines. Not YM or Teen Beat lol Oh well, it was money.
Thank you Cassandra for speaking out about this damaging content. Society today when it comes to body image has been so volatile everyone should not be made to think that their body their facial features are imperfect. We have to get the message out on a more regular basis from people who are the greatest influencers to the upcoming generation. Everyone stop and think the images you see are not real. We are not made perfect if we were all made perfect we would live in an perfect Barbie world😂
This video should be compulsory viewing for students in school. I have been a teacher for over 20 years and this perfectly sums up what most teachers try to teach. Love your content. Thanks for making it.
Thank you for your service to our children! And I agree. I'd love to squeeze this into the Social and Emotional Learning that we do for our kids. They need this, add some social skills and proper table manners and hopefully they will use, for everyone's benefit, what is taught. 🤗
This is one of the best body positivity videos I have ever seen . It sheds light on facts rather than superficial , philosophical shit that influencers just spew. I was literally feeling so insecure today about my body as my GAD disorder meds made me gain weight. But this video instantly lightened my mood ❤. Thankyou girlie. Society is just Cruel to women these days with shitty beauty standards.
Amen Cassandra! Remember gals & guys we are so much than our bodies. I’m speaking from experience I’m 49 now and curvy and I had anorexia when I was 19. I’m so glad that the internet didn’t exist when I was younger. Anorexia from my experience is not about your body at all. It’s control. It’s when the only thing in your life that you can control is your eating. It’s when things are going wrong around you you can’t control. I am only speaking for me. I have PCOS so have never been able to have a child so please embrace your bodies ladies as Cassandra said they are wonders of nature. So many people don’t get the chance to age, think on that. Gals, guys we are beautiful just the way we are. I know it’s hard nowadays with so many people posting things. Just remember you damn well rock just the way you are & I’m proud of you whatever shape, race, sexuality you are. We are so lucky to be alive. Love Julie ❤
Cassandra, I am considerably older than you, but I love your content!! You are so honest and uplifting. As a mom to beautiful daughters, I am grateful that you serve as a voice of reason and as a role model for them. Sometimes the words just hit differently when they come from someone who is closer to their age and certainly more modern than their mom. I just wanted to thank you for that - much love ❤
You’re amazing Cassandra! Making this video during the summer is soo paramount! Thank you so much for helping us to remember our bodies are constantly changing should be healthy over trendy. 💕🥳👏
As a beauty insider for over 15 years, I completely agree with everything you said. Huge love to you, Cassandra❤️ I watched this while eating and enjoying every bite of a gluten-free chocolate brownie😁
Thank you so much for doing this video. It will definitely help so many girls and women that value themselves depending on their size, weight, and shape! 😊
In my country in the 90, was the medical science that created lots of eating disorders. The were literally misuring every art of your body telling you the exact misure of healthy body. Plus the diets the doctors were giving promoted eating disorder. Also they were used to say "cellulite is a disease". Today I'm a counselor, and I struggle helping people that are still in those wrong beliefs.
THANK YOU for mentioning that frickin organs exist!! A few days ago i was feeling insecure over being what i saw as "fat" and the i realized what i was criticizing was LITERALLY MY RIB CAGE! Like what am i supposed to do to shrink my rib cage??? Squish my organs? Shave my bones???
4 months postpartum and very much struggling with my appearance. I'm only 10 lbs more than my pre-pregnancy weight but I went up 2 dress sizes because of how my hips shifted and the loss of elasticity in my stomach skin. That number has far more power over me than I should be giving it.
I am right there with you, I've actually lost 20 lbs pp, but my pant size is the same because of the extra tummy skin and my hips/posture shifting after child-birth. It was hard for me to see the number go down, but the fit of the clothes feel the same. I am adapting the thought that "This is my body and I will love it and take care of it as long as I can" Give yourself grace and patience because your body is still healing from physical experience of childbirth
And your body is your body. It has worked for you (and your kid) 24/7 for years. That's hard work. I think it's incredible in itself. Your body works as it's meant to. 😊
I just don't understand why or when the shape of the container of our soul became so important! If only we could see people's spirit and soul, what a different definition of "beautiful" it would be💗🦋💗🦋💗🦋
Yesss 💜 As a teen, 120lbs, had cellulite, at my most fit in my early 20s: going to the gym multiple times a week, still had cellulite and prominent thighs. Now, in my early 30s, have had children and .. cellulite! Glad its getting somewhattt normalized.
The video I needed to watch this morning. Thank you Cassandra! 💗I'm in my 40s and I've always struggled with my weight. Somehow I never seemed to be able to stick to a healthy lifestyle until very recently. I'm more motivated now that I ever was in my life to take good care of my body the right way, trying to be the better version of myself and not the better version of someone I never, ever, could be. Flat stomach, thigh gaps? I KNOW my body isn't structured to have those things and it's ok. Now I know. But for a very long time those "goals" were the only thing that, in my mind, would make me feel beautiful. And the fact that no matter how hard I tried I never seemed to achieve those goals, made me feel horrible instead. To quote one of my favorite ever songs: "WE are beautiful, no matter what they say. Words won't bring us down". 💗
Sewing your own clothes can be very liberating. When you sew, you use measurements and adjust for fit, regardless of what “size” you are. Sizing on patterns is completely random and not standardized (as with ready to wear clothes). BUT - when you sew you can use metric measurements! Who in the US even knows what “size” 100cm is? Is that big or small? Who knows! And who cares!!?? It’s just 100cm, so you cut the fabric accordingly. Obviously not everyone has access to sewing materials, but you can take the lessons and use them in your daily life. Your body is what it is. Find clothing that fits you and ignore the “size.”❤
Needed this video!! What I also hear is that I should have a tan in order to make my body look prettier in bikini. I’m not even that white & SPF is my BFF (thanks to you!!). Really hate that most of the people think a tan is healthy…I find it pretty yes but in order to get a tan I need to skip SPF and burn, no thanks😅
Dear Cassandra hi there! I am a huge a fan of yours from India and after seeing this blog I just wanted to tell you my story. Till a couple of years ago I was rather thin but then my marriage started falling apart and so I took out my worries by eating. Needless to say I gained weight and I cannot tell you how badly I was fat shamed ; from family members, to friends even to complete strangers . People would openly come up to me and say " oh look at you how fat you have become" which hurt so much. Needless to say I have finally lost weight by seeing a therapist regularly for my emotional issues and eating well and exercising but the point I am trying to make is that even in a place like India people can be so cruel and heartless. Much love and regards
Thank you, Cassandra. Fellow Godesses, always remember that all the bathroom scales measure is your body's relationship to gravity at that moment in time. It says precisely zero about your value as a person. Love you guys!
what u said here, made me love u even more, we should not pursue perfection because it doesn't matter, even so exists... take care and be happy always 😻💕
Wow that comment at the end was so amazing. If you’re not loving your body at one size you won’t love it at another. As long as that hatred exists. So well said.
Thank you for making this video. I have always been self conscious and it has gotten worse. I was that girl wearing shorts and tees at the beach to hide cellulite, and a stomach that will never be flat. I have gained a little weight and have to remind myself my clothes are supposed to fit me, not the other way around. Thanks again
I am european and didnt understand american sizing. I found I wore a larger jean here because I just felt better in them. Not knowing the size was a blessing.
I shop fit not size as I am 6ft 1 inch 140lbs and finding clothes is an adventure. I hated my 34B cups for years until I realized all the thigs I can wear that the Ds and beyond can't! I have horizontal stretch marks at my lower back, behind my knees, at my shoulders because at ager 14 I grew 5 inches in 1 year! So stretch marks at 14. I bought my first bikini at 30 and 17 years later I own that same bikini because it fits well, looks great and cost too bloody much! I do work out daily to stay the same size so I can continue wearing the clothes I already own. The benefit of not over consuming clothes while staying healthy and spending less than $100 a year on clothes? That is winning all day.
Thank you Casandra, I am about to go to the beach next weekend.. I was felling very insecure because I havent been able to hit the gym for about three weeks and I see a difference in my body, I feel better now that I saw your video❤
You are amazing...I am 60 years old and grew up with all the magazines,; seventeen, glamour, vogue, etc. They were just as damaging as all of the social media content. I just wish I could take your words and REALLY believe them...I am like your friend, would NEVER enjoy myself in a bathing suit at the beach. I was a certified personal trainer at the age of 52 and was in great shape...but still had the voice in my head that said I wasn't good enough. I truly hope your words and content help others...
It frankly started to irritate me, when Cassandra says, that she feels that her breasts are considered small... No, they are not. What do you consider normal then? A D cup? The concept of beauty and normal body is so different in Europe... B or C cup is considered normal, anything bigger is considered big and sometimes not flattering/too big.
Thank you! We are going on a lake vacation with the family next week and I was just thinking last night I don’t even know if I’m going to bring a bathing suit this year. I used to teach fitness classes, but stopped, and I just don’t look the way that I used too. This is a good reminder that there’s no such thing as perfection.
If you want to swim, definitely bring it and you can still decide later. I hope you can enjoy the lake without having to focus too much on how you look! Other people aren't scrutinising you anywhere near as much as you are, I promise. Have fun!!
Another trick is clothing hacks. You mentioned underwired bikini bras, but there is more. Some bikini panties have built-in shape wear (to flatten one's stomach, or to lift the buttocks a bit). In photographs we also do not see the back of the model - the clothing is also often pinned in strategic places so that it looks more attractive on the photo. Textile tape is also a thing. A trick that blew my mind regards the stage costumes. Many stage performers dress in a corset-like costume, high boots and bare legs upper legs. Or rather, "bare". They are either wearing tights that reflect light (serving the same function as body oil) or they wear TWO PAIRS OF TIGHTS: a pair of fishnet stockings matching the colour of their skin underneath and the "normal" tights over it. The fishnet creates an even, perfect canvas for the other tights to lie smooth on.
One of my favorite brands Anthropologie uses sizes Small on their models that are actually like an XXS or XS… they just “pin” the garment as needed to make it look better… they do usually disclose what size the model is wearing but it’s hidden in the description. ALL BRANDS do this! So if you want the garment to look like it does on the model don’t be afraid to get a size up.
I became so much more confident just by wearing the right size. Stopped caring about the number and just focused on the fit. Who knew?? Growing up in the 90's I didn't.
Cassandra. The only thing I can say to you is I LOVE YOU❤ and Thankyou❤. I am a young mum hating my body hating getting dressed up hating everything about me post pregnancy. Thankyou so much from the bottom of my heart 🙏
Another issue with some of these people altering their bodies (whether in photos or with surgery), is when they drift into the uncanny valley. It gets weird and they look very unrealistic. I hope I’m not being too mean here. It’s just very sad how people think they need to alter themselves so extremely. Although, it’s not my life or my body, so at the end of the day, if you are truly happy with yourself, you do you.
Cass is correct. I was 180cms tall @ 65kg all from running 5 days a week and I would never wear a swim costume even though I was to thin for my height. Now ive stopped running after 15yrs of running and im now 82kg and overweight and you guessed it I still hate my body. No amount of weight loss will make you happy if you the the mind set that you hate your body. Im naturally fat which is why I had to run for 15yrs. A boy in high school would call me 'thunder thighs' and my father would call me 'a whaler' at 11 yrs of age. No wonder I was anorexic @ 14yrs of age. Its a life long battle- my weight.
I’m sorry you are feeling this way and I hope, it gets better over time 💛 Just wanted to add that 82kg for 180cm is not overweight at all, you actually have a much better BMI than most people on the western world, so that’s definitely a win. And even that doesn’t really matter as long as you are healthy!
Thank you so much for this. After years of eating disorders, I still struggle a lot with my weight and body image. Thanks to this video I will be walking a little taller for the next few weeks. At least. ❤
I had a major cellulite complex for years. But being 30+ it hit me that NO ONE cares. And I'm boiling in jeans. How stupid is that?! Now - you wanna stare, please do. I don't care.
@eves, thank you for your comment. I absolutely luv this and your attitude, I too feel the same way. This put a huge smile on my face, thank you. Have a great week!!
I was never thin, I was normal, but I never felt good in my body. I always thought I needed to lose weight to feel better, to look good. I've gained quite a bit of weight lately, and surprisingly, I feel much better about my body! I bought a dresses for the first time in my life, and I feel good in them! we really need to change our perception of the world and ourselves! everything around is artificial, photoshopped, we need more people like you, Cassandra, to convince people that every body is beautiful, and what is presented in the media, unfortunately, is not always true! I will add that I gave birth to two children, after both births I looked "normal". but now when I don't look at how "thin" I am, I feel good in my body!
5:37 I had a pair of jeans rip on the first wash. I didn't drive at the time, so my mom took me to exchange them and didn't want to wait for me to try the new ones on. So I just got the same size again. They were supposed to be size 9. They were equivalent to a size 0 I still had hanging in my closet. I'm told they're cut in stacks and the top one won't be the same as the bottom one in the stack of the same size. I would have to grab 3 pairs in 2-3 sizes from different parts of the stack in order to find a pair that fit. They were cheap though $16-27 in the aughts, so poor quality control may have had something to do with it.
That’s very important and valid, thank you for creating such content 🙏 celebrities often fake these “beauty” features. However, we have to be honest. Gorgeous natural women with no stomach, perfect body and no cellulite do exist. They are rare to see all natural but they exist. Sometimes you see them on the beach, on the streets etc. Everyone wants to look like them including all celebs. We know such beauty exists and that it’s rare, that’s why we are psychologically wired to feel not good enough for not being able to embody it. If nobody looked like that and the standard of beauty was completely made up and fake, it would have been easy to get over the expectation of looking like that.
I agree that comparison is harmful…”comparison is the thief of joy.” Although I have other body issues including a large horrific scar from a motorcycle accident which left one leg 2” shorter, I have a flat stomach…always have through 67 years. Had my son at 41 and went back to a flat stomach within a few months. But don’t be checkin’ my thighs!😆
“You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do” is a quote that I think everyone needs to hear!! Great video as always Cassandra! You always make me feel so much better about myself and I appreciate that so much 😊
Thank you for this. In my 20's I went to weigh watchers with my MIL, I was 120lbs and 23 yrs old...like...what? Also had a day at the beach with boyfriend and literally wasn't going to get up off my towel because 2 younger girls in bikinis sat down by us. That was only a few years ago. Now I wear board shorts and anti chafe swim tops. It's been ingrained into my psyche that anything above a size 8 US is unacceptable. Years of trying to reprogram has barely helped.
Thank you so much ❤ Needed it today. Especially in the summer, I always notice my cellulite more when wearing shorts. While I know it's natural and normal, on some days I feel more negative about it and think I need to change it. Thank you for reminding that normal bodies jiggle and fold and have dimples and that's okay 🙏
Im a plus size woman in the itty bitty titty committee 😂 I always joke that my fat just ignores my boobs for some reason. I accepted at a very young age that im in general a big girl. I have broad shoulders, big feet and big everything else. I have also accepted that im literally a size XL to XXXL depending on the brand. 😉
A big part of modeling is holding unnatural and uncomfortable poses while looking like they're relaxing. When they actually relax, you'll see the same "flaws" you see in yourself.
When it comes to fitting in smaller sizes and body shape, getting into fashion history and focusing especially in the Edwardian era (which is how I dress now) was incredibly liberating for me. Want fuller hips? Hip pads it is! Want a nice bust? Go grab that pading for the boobage. And no need to tighten a corset for that, wear one adjusted properly and let the cut of the clothes and the additional paddings do their job. Also, women of that era would have their photos retouched just like we do now, so it really helps put everything in perspective and simply, well, care less about it all.
I wish someone had made a video like this when I was younger .Like this is exactly what I needed to hear . I'm part of the itty bitty titty community and I remember hating my small boobs for years on end . I'm 23 and I only learned to love them last year.
I do stage makeup and spraytan for fitness competitors the competition day( from bikini fitness to bodybuilding) they do not have visible cellulite on stage. If they do they do not go very far. On the stage in the lights its more visible than " real life" . The spraytan does not hide it. They have amazing bodies. Of course theis bodyfat is relatively low. So is Victorias Secret models too. So they do exist in real life. That why not every body can enter the stage. They are rare individuals who work hard to obtain it.
Ive never been self conscious with my tummy or cellulite or even smaller titties. I have had to learn to accept my stretch marks though. I still hate them. They are everywhere and i got them all during puberty. Breasts, thighs, hips, arms, knees...i cried just looking at myself in the mirror and wondered why my skin couldn't be nice and smooth like all the other girls around me. i wasn't even like overweight so i couldn't understand why only my body felt like it couldn't look normal. im 30 now and i still struggle with accepting myself. Hopefully someday i'll be able to fully enjoy being in my body. For now im focusing on self improvement. I love weight lifting and long distance running so im enjoying what my body can do for me now without focusing too much on what i can see. if there's anyone out there going through something similar i hope you understand you aren't alone.
I am extremely guilty of setting my value to the way my body looks. It’s confirmed by media, by family, by partners, and by myself. What I’m learning now is that I don’t need to compare myself to anyone and all I need to do is describe them. Just like you did…. skinny, fat, round, square and triangle. Those are descriptions, not a way of comparing myself to somebody else. It’s challenging every day. And it doesn’t stop me from wishing I was thin and pretty.
I appreciate what you’re trying to do here, and yes, it's important to realise that these influencers and models have flaws too… but for the vast majority of us, we could know every pose, draw on abs, have perfect lighting and makeup, and we still wouldn’t look close to them, because we have way more body fat than all the influencers and models you’re talking about. As someone struggling with body image and weight loss, the message my mind hears (even though it’s not your intention) is that if I lose another 10-15kgs then I’m as good as them because then I only have things like cellulite and a not flat stomach; but that until then I’m just as ugly as I feel like I am
Its so disgusting sometimes seeing how society puts so much pressure on women about their body shape or even what they must do to change in order to be liked more or seem more appealing. Myself only being in my teen years, I've had moments where I felt where my confidence was low and was thinking about working out more or fasting to lose some weight, even though I eat pretty healthy and always being active. I realized that it wouldn't have been a better choice to force myself to burnout myself by working out more or eating less calories- because calories are necessary for a human body to function well! I even remember one time going out to eat with my friends for one day and one of my friends said that now they feel upset because now they have to go workout the next day to burn the calories from just one day. Reminder that you were not made in this world just to lose weight- there's more to life than that. Thank you Cassandra for speaking out about this.
I hate my thigh gap. It makes finding fitted pants difficult, bc the gap takes up inseam length. And my hips are wider as a result ...I look like a snake that swallowed a potato. 😂
Thank you for this! 🤗 About wearing the right size pants is so true. Awhile ago I traveled for a month. I just wanted to enjoy everything, so I gained some weight. Back at home I struggled with my pants and I felt miserable. After a while I got tired of it. So I tried all of my pants, put the pants that were too tight in a box and bought a few new pants that fit perfectly. Now everything feels normal again... and I can even breath better again 😆 Now the focus is no longer on my muffin top. Just being myself again!
