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China MAD Over Shot Down “Weather Balloon,” Trump Wants Firing Squads & George Santos Steals Puppies 

Jimmy Kimmel Live
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Jimmy and his wife Molly started the morning by having an argument about whether you put lotion on before or after the shower, Microsoft announced that they have officially disabled Internet Explorer, Trump is reportedly talking to advisors about bringing back firing squads if elected again, fraudigal son Don Jr has been doing Daddy’s dirty work again lashing out at Biden’s press Secretary, Men will soon be able to take a pill that will stop their sperm for swimming for an hour, George Santos was charged in Pennsylvania with stealing puppies from multiple breeders, the Senate was briefed yesterday on the three UAPs shot down over the weekend, China is sticking to their claim that the first one we shot down was a weather balloon that got blown off course, and people are dumb so we headed out to Hollywood Blvd for a lying saucer edition of Lie Witness News.
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About Jimmy Kimmel Live:
Jimmy Kimmel serves as host and executive producer of Emmy®-nominated “Jimmy Kimmel Live!,” ABC’s late-night talk show. “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” is well known for its huge viral video successes, with over 15 billion views and more than 18 million subscribers on the show’s RU-vid channel. Some of Kimmel’s most popular comedy bits include “Celebrities Read Mean Tweets,” “Lie Witness News,” “Unnecessary Censorship,” “Halloween Candy RU-vid Challenge,” and music videos like “I (Wanna) Channing All Over Your Tatum.”

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14 фев 2023

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Комментарии : 1,3 тыс.   
@dallasdandigitalproduction393
DJTJ with his wild cocaine arms
@nicb4103
@nicb4103 Год назад
I’ve done alot of it for a long time I’ve never acted anything like him - it has to be something else
@Shieldmaiden313
@Shieldmaiden313 Год назад
@@nicb4103 seems more like meth to me!!!!
@dallasdandigitalproduction393
@@nicb4103 every body is different
@jamesjoy7547
@jamesjoy7547 Год назад
I think they look like hostages, desperately signalling for rescue!
@mojo500100
@mojo500100 Год назад
@@jamesjoy7547 good one! 😆
@sgt.tattoo9609
@sgt.tattoo9609 Год назад
They should bring back firing squads for one last Traitor.
@jackderipper2233
@jackderipper2233 Год назад
I can supply the rifles!
@emp9413
@emp9413 Год назад
Wow Don Jr is cracked out
@kenrickeason
@kenrickeason Год назад
Boy isn't he?? Damn...
@katsebua
@katsebua Год назад
Floater ...
@robertblokdijk901
@robertblokdijk901 Год назад
He dont care. His lill vids are payd for by" daddy".. gop! .. this is camping money for the son of the self proclaimd trillon air. Tax deductable.
@Elizabeth-rq1vi
@Elizabeth-rq1vi Год назад
Nah, he’s coked out, he doesn’t use crack.
@mikebirks2336
@mikebirks2336 Год назад
Later the puppies were made into the clothes worn by MTG at the state of the union.
@aprilrobinson4192
@aprilrobinson4192 Год назад
OMG! DJT Jr is speeding on coke!
@j_kahn
@j_kahn Год назад
Nothing new there!
@jenswetter251
@jenswetter251 Год назад
Continuingly accelerating ... but then again, think about how scaring Kimberly Guilfoyle must look with White Powder up your nose ? 🤯
@FakingANerve
@FakingANerve Год назад
"Speeding on coke" 😂👍
@carl1367
@carl1367 Год назад
"cocaine's a hell of a drug" - rick james - Don Jr.
@cmorris9494
@cmorris9494 Год назад
And Aaron rogers
@parkiwi4787
@parkiwi4787 Год назад
USA has so many guns, surely one can point to Trump and say you are fired.
@marvinmartin4692
@marvinmartin4692 Год назад
If only!
@dbaargosy4062
@dbaargosy4062 Год назад
Dude. i fired trump. On a phone call with a helpless federal government employee manning a government helpline...Got fed up said the words. Hung up called the governors office for here and let the state go too. But i'm mentally disabled
@brianjones7521
@brianjones7521 Год назад
"It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin Or Else It Gets The Hose Again!"
@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494
@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494 Год назад
so... Gumb was actually telling us the right order? Water THEN lotion? Thoughtful guy 🙂
@brianjones7521
@brianjones7521 Год назад
@@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494 He fixed the cable?
@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494
@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494 Год назад
@@brianjones7521 Oh, don't ask me. I believe in NUSSINK!!
@tylerhackner9731
@tylerhackner9731 Год назад
As if santos can’t get any more cartoonishly evil
@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494
@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494 Год назад
"i'M sTeAlInG pUpPiEs... FrOm ThE AmIsH!! BWA HAH HAAA!!!!!!" - George's inner voice, probably. If it wasn't him, it would sound ludicrous. As it is him, it's still ludicrous... but yeah, definitely evil. He's like a Scooby Doo villain at this point.
@RealBradMiller
@RealBradMiller Год назад
@@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494 That's not George Santos, it's the old janitor!! *Rips off mask*
@christelheadington1136
@christelheadington1136 Год назад
Firing Squad for treason sounds good.
@NewMessage
@NewMessage Год назад
Firing squads... madness... of course, Donnie's base is gonna love that, though.
@pannachawangkul585
@pannachawangkul585 Год назад
Not when they are lined up at the receiving end, then they will cry, it is barbaric. 🙄
@albuquerquehotspot7835
@albuquerquehotspot7835 Год назад
@@pannachawangkul585 how many of his followers do you think have done enough to warrant a death penalty? They wouldn’t be lined up against a firing squad.
@coleengoodell7523
@coleengoodell7523 Год назад
@@albuquerquehotspot7835 Treason is punishable by death.
@tnickknight
@tnickknight Год назад
Ironic since Tub of fun is guilty of treason
@MrBongobongbongo
@MrBongobongbongo Год назад
On February 16 1568 the "holy sea" issued death warrant to every citizen of the Netherlands, 3 million men women and children. That's the Vatican.
@danyellerobinson5940
@danyellerobinson5940 Год назад
Good answer Guillermo.
@virginiatyree6705
@virginiatyree6705 Год назад
There's a human that's cruel & not decent. Don jr. Thanks Jimmy.
@RobertLangdonCapeCanaveral
@RobertLangdonCapeCanaveral Год назад
Don Jr calling anyone an imbecile is a clear cut case of psychological projection.
@chuckrambo4401
@chuckrambo4401 Год назад
And the 40% that support Biden (fact check me Please Please) at this time are puppets of the media
@g4l430
@g4l430 Год назад
Well if he's using psychological projection that means he's ready to become a Democrat. That's rule #3 in the handbook I got.
@freya8133
@freya8133 Год назад
@@g4l430 Naw, that means he's staying a republiKKKan.
@RobertLangdonCapeCanaveral
@RobertLangdonCapeCanaveral Год назад
@@chuckrambo4401 ~ Says a feeble-minded fan of the network that won its most recent defamation lawsuit by successfully arguing no reasonable person would take Tucker Klansman seriously. Think much?
@Jake-wo2rq
@Jake-wo2rq Год назад
Kamala/Mayor Pete 2024
@user-hl7sd6yq3w
@user-hl7sd6yq3w Год назад
What kind of lunatic puts lotion on immediately BEFORE taking a shower? The soap will wash it off. What a weird question and weird thing to argue with your spouse about.
@Wordavee1
@Wordavee1 Год назад
How about a firing squad for financial fraud!!
@thepope2258
@thepope2258 Год назад
Just put the lotion in the basket!
@lenawagenfuehr53
@lenawagenfuehr53 Год назад
It puts the lotion in the basket
@thepope2258
@thepope2258 Год назад
@@lenawagenfuehr53 Good girl!
@michaeld4861
@michaeld4861 Год назад
"Take me to your dealer" 😂😂 That was a great line snuck into the Don Jr. clip.
@jackkerouac6186
@jackkerouac6186 Год назад
The Russian mob
@KaiserBlade
@KaiserBlade Год назад
Isn't it Hunter that likes dealers?
@seffishestopal5950
@seffishestopal5950 Год назад
I didn’t hear that 😂
@jackkerouac6186
@jackkerouac6186 Год назад
@@KaiserBlade how do you know what he likes?
@dragomilosevic4823
@dragomilosevic4823 4 месяца назад
Hunters dealer too
@gladlawson61
@gladlawson61 Год назад
We don't need firing squads. We need people to be allowed to duel In a sanctioned league. There are too many issues where we cant sue someone . But we can all duel. That's how I'd make america great again.
@PuadafaProductions
@PuadafaProductions Год назад
There’s no way JR is not doing coke. He’s trying to steal his dads hand gestures
@TooSlowTube
@TooSlowTube Год назад
You're right. He's not a coke addict, he's a crystal meth addict.
@g4l430
@g4l430 Год назад
Yeah, why can't he be more respectable like Hunter. At least he's paying his dad back.
@freya8133
@freya8133 Год назад
@@g4l430 He's not "paying his da da back." Troll 🙄
@freya8133
@freya8133 Год назад
@@g4l430 At least Hunter (and Beau) didn't claim "bone spurs" to get out of serving his country. What did Junior and Eric do? Fortunate sons indeed 😆
@oldrrocr
@oldrrocr Год назад
this is why the GQP really does NOT want to reveal what is on Hunter's laptop... DJTJ's coke supplier network, all the details for the Jan 6 coup, the Green Bay sweep, Epstein's client list, and how they are going to bring JFK Jr back to life...🤣🤣🤣
@saraho9568
@saraho9568 Год назад
Wow, the Brit chic really committed to that lie. So crazy.
@elizabethmoore2853
@elizabethmoore2853 Год назад
Just a side note. The Amish man was most likely not a simple, good farmer who happened to be selling puppies. The Amish are well known for having puppy mills, in which the animals are treated as livestock and raised in conditions that other breeders consider to be inhumane.
@RagingGeekazoid
@RagingGeekazoid Год назад
These "person in the street" things would be hilarious if I thought they were real.
@CombatMosquitoTrainer
@CombatMosquitoTrainer Год назад
Don Jr is a nobody.
@franklaferriere5754
@franklaferriere5754 Год назад
Well to his coke dealers.....
@RealJackHQ
@RealJackHQ Год назад
That Lie Witness News segment is brilliantly transparent and thus…..scary at the same time.
@robertblokdijk901
@robertblokdijk901 Год назад
Put the lotion... in the basket.
@aldamakazumi
@aldamakazumi Год назад
14:14 "Do you come in peace?" LOL!
@brianna7921
@brianna7921 Год назад
Cause nothing says we weren't involved like getting super pissed because we shot down your balloon
@immertoll1
@immertoll1 Год назад
George Santos is a career criminal.
@jackderipper2233
@jackderipper2233 Год назад
Santos died on a cross for All of us.
@TheDarkness1
@TheDarkness1 Год назад
So apparently how the US works, he will be president in 2024.
@lenawagenfuehr53
@lenawagenfuehr53 Год назад
He's the head of the Keystone Cops
@toneyingram732
@toneyingram732 Год назад
Like Trump
@jpdemer5
@jpdemer5 Год назад
And welcome in the GOP.
@harrisond8132
@harrisond8132 Год назад
"Who you jinin' with that cosmic debris"?
@carstenweidner7308
@carstenweidner7308 Год назад
to quote Don Jr. : " """""""""'something"""something""""""doesn't make any sense"""""but""""""!" and that's the truth.
@beenice9867
@beenice9867 Год назад
DJTJ needs reminding that his genius father once said “Thighland”
@nordiarichards5241
@nordiarichards5241 Год назад
Don't forget "Nambia".
@linebrunelle1004
@linebrunelle1004 Год назад
and Unpresidented vs unprecedented
@artfuldodger7838
@artfuldodger7838 Год назад
DJTJ should put a sock in it.
@abrahamornelas160
@abrahamornelas160 Год назад
Put the lotion unless It gets the hose again.
@aaronswatches
@aaronswatches Год назад
Lotion before a shower? He sounds like Bateman.
@XAVIERCUERVO
@XAVIERCUERVO Год назад
yes Cruella Dsantos made a coat out of the puppies
@LethalSaliva
@LethalSaliva Год назад
😆
@NewMessage
@NewMessage Год назад
Guillermo knows.
@mikemeehan9176
@mikemeehan9176 Год назад
Can we get Santos on this week in lie witness news. Please
@cob571
@cob571 Год назад
As a Canadian, I endorse the use of the word 'Canadia'. However, I do not consent to Don Jr. coming into my province and poaching our wildlife out of season.
@gregorchard7881
@gregorchard7881 Год назад
Its just cofveve really.....
@starrdust13
@starrdust13 Год назад
DJT’s hands are just like his father’s 😂😂
@toneyingram732
@toneyingram732 Год назад
Little boy blue and daddy to
@marvinmartin4692
@marvinmartin4692 Год назад
Tiny?
@huletnadof313
@huletnadof313 Год назад
@@marvinmartin4692 Widdle. Widdle teeny weeny hands.
@erockromulan9329
@erockromulan9329 Год назад
... How do people just lie through their teeth like that?
@henriomoeje8741
@henriomoeje8741 Год назад
Send the Amish Mafia after George Santos 🤷🏿‍♂️
@wendydarling5790
@wendydarling5790 Год назад
You looked it up instead of believing your wife? Yikes.
@billy4227
@billy4227 Год назад
If it wasn't for professional football Rodgers would be managing a trailer park instead.
@albuquerquehotspot7835
@albuquerquehotspot7835 Год назад
Billy, don’t be mad Aaron Rodgers has accomplished more in life than you ever will. It doesn’t look good on you.
@dreacdreac
@dreacdreac Год назад
Why are people like this? It's frightening.
@rgrif777
@rgrif777 Год назад
Next comes the Running Man and sharks with laser beams on them.
@kandorstevenson
@kandorstevenson Год назад
@lillyanderson3623
@lillyanderson3623 Год назад
Love you Jimmy Kimmel and Guillermo 💕💕💕
@StAjoraGames
@StAjoraGames Год назад
Whoever came up with the "I invented Silly Putty, with my feet" line would make a fantastic DM/GM in any table top game.
@seehazesmoke
@seehazesmoke Год назад
Why would you put lotion on a dirty body???
@aliciachristopher6506
@aliciachristopher6506 Год назад
I will miss Microsoft Explorer.
@LoriAW3791
@LoriAW3791 Год назад
Coke Jr. has got to be traveling with a huge squad of bodyguards that keep him from getting popped in the mouth.
@albuquerquehotspot7835
@albuquerquehotspot7835 Год назад
Wishing death upon people is really mature. But then again, not surprised as your account indicates politics are your personality trait. I’m assuming gender is your second personality trait? 🤡
@r.p.mcmurphy6623
@r.p.mcmurphy6623 Год назад
🥱
@robertpiekosz7470
@robertpiekosz7470 Год назад
Absolutely
@mattmayo3539
@mattmayo3539 Год назад
He definitely needs to be punched in the face a few times.
@dwhitman3092
@dwhitman3092 Год назад
Lmao!
@justinflick6802
@justinflick6802 Год назад
Man I need my dose of Jimmy Kimmel!!
@lillyanderson3623
@lillyanderson3623 Год назад
Same!
@gabrielmugisha3196
@gabrielmugisha3196 Год назад
Not alone
@TY9941_
@TY9941_ Год назад
No you don’t. He’s obsessed with trump. He needs to mix things up more. Trump hasn’t been prez for a while now
@dogdefender6946
@dogdefender6946 Год назад
I think this every day/night.. sometimes I just need to rewatch..
@dogdefender6946
@dogdefender6946 Год назад
Chester go away
@krisfrederick5001
@krisfrederick5001 Год назад
"It puts the lotion on the skin...AFTER the shower..." 🚿👀
@redbarchetta8782
@redbarchetta8782 Год назад
Jimmy, you need to invite Santos on Lie Witness News sometime. :)
@jackderipper2233
@jackderipper2233 Год назад
Santos died on a cross for All of us.
@TheDarkness1
@TheDarkness1 Год назад
@Jack DeRipper Lies!! He's super spider iron bat man. He's impervious to all humans including the press.
@marvinmartin4692
@marvinmartin4692 Год назад
Oh yes!
@Chiroman527
@Chiroman527 Год назад
Yeah, and Don't Forget to include Hunter Biden to that Party. He needs another Hit !! Stop and THINK.... That idiot left his Laptop at a local PC repair shop with All his sensitive Info about the Biden Crime Family and Forgot about it. How Stupid is He?
@FratinandMadrik
@FratinandMadrik Год назад
We've had 3 weird balloon objects fly over and get popped, we've had 3 train derailments with toxic chemicals... Coincidence? I think not!
@morbidmanmusic
@morbidmanmusic Год назад
Don't be foolish, please....
@duanemartin1383
@duanemartin1383 Год назад
@@morbidmanmusic …. Are you up to date on your COVID boosters? Because the truth has been told about that debacle from the beginning, right? Please do us a favor and go put your head back in the sand.
@toddcox5406
@toddcox5406 Год назад
Considering he has committed treason, let him be the first to stand in front of the firing squad!!!
@zdcyclops1lickley190
@zdcyclops1lickley190 Год назад
Lotion before or after the shower? Both. Couldn't hurt.
@jonobester5817
@jonobester5817 Год назад
How about Death by Silver 9-Iron?
@AmethystWoman
@AmethystWoman Год назад
DTjr has the audacity to talk about not having "earned" his job? Not being qualified for her job? Are you f'n kidding me????????????
@patton3338
@patton3338 Год назад
"Whats going on with his arms?" I believe they call that Cocaine.
@joanteasdale2991
@joanteasdale2991 Год назад
Father's Day card good one good one
@manjuresh
@manjuresh Год назад
He is now No. 2 on Amish's enemy list. First being the "Electricity" 🤣🤣🤣
@brewsnoop
@brewsnoop Год назад
As a lifelong Green Bay Packer fan, I really wish we had a quarterback that kept his crazy thoughts to himself. After having people tell him how great he is for the past several years, Aaron Rodgers has lost touch with reality.
@ghostpine
@ghostpine Год назад
Hopefully he stays in the dark forever
@Gwarosaur
@Gwarosaur Год назад
Jimmys comments are kind of creepy now. It seems that his name is being reported to be on this list.
@steverino6954
@steverino6954 Год назад
Do you come in peace? "Only if you do it right, baby."
@hfield07
@hfield07 Год назад
don jr talks like a relic of 1980s office life
@marykestell8464
@marykestell8464 Год назад
Love when you guys hit the street 😂
@MrOoofah
@MrOoofah Год назад
"It puts the lotion in the basket." 😳😳😳😳
@DE-ss5ks
@DE-ss5ks Год назад
Amish 'breeders' are puppy mills. A reputable breeder would never allow someone to take four puppies. There would be an interview process. Reputable breeders would not just have puppies available when someone walks in.
@chocomojo9552
@chocomojo9552 Год назад
Aaron Dodger had way too Many concussions !!!
@jul10199555
@jul10199555 Год назад
I'm amazed on how the blonde girl was able to made up all that story in matter of seconds
@yurielcundangan9090
@yurielcundangan9090 Год назад
Jack be nimble, be quick, jack would make all of his indictments stick
@AR-ed3xw
@AR-ed3xw Год назад
You should delete this one, the other one is better!
@loveforeignaccents
@loveforeignaccents Год назад
@@AR-ed3xw LOL 😋
@the_kenyan_catholic
@the_kenyan_catholic Год назад
Twinkle, funny jimmy 😂😂😂
@JJ-rx8ym
@JJ-rx8ym Год назад
Do you use soap in the shower? Yes? You’re gonna wash off the lotion 🤦🏻‍♀️
@yomama6350
@yomama6350 Год назад
Real life Cruella DeVille!!!!
@JennyLouLou
@JennyLouLou Год назад
Moisturize directly AFTER the shower will help seal the moisture in Jimmy. Lol
@whatoncewas8480
@whatoncewas8480 Год назад
👏🏾
@eliotshimkofsky8752
@eliotshimkofsky8752 Год назад
We are doomed as a species.
@matcrispy3748
@matcrispy3748 Год назад
“... take me to your dealer ...”
@jcesarbtorres6006
@jcesarbtorres6006 Год назад
You're my Hero Kimmel, GOD bless you
@tefweebz
@tefweebz Год назад
I don’t even understand the lotion debate, like, WHAT?!😳
@mrsr003
@mrsr003 Год назад
British lady was in the Disney store at 4 a.m.?
@kiza4178
@kiza4178 Год назад
DJTJ sounds like an old carnival barker.....
@HeadNtheClouds
@HeadNtheClouds Год назад
Step right up! Win a prize!
@davediamond7228
@davediamond7228 Год назад
a carnival barker for his cult shitshow
@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494
@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494 Год назад
I don't think he has a volume control setting
@Prince.Hamlet
@Prince.Hamlet Год назад
Lie Witness News makes me wonder how many Santos are out there
@hohum_3001
@hohum_3001 Год назад
they're FOs - nothing unidentified about it
@jogreen3081
@jogreen3081 Год назад
Rodgers has gone full on "Q"
@charliebaumann2392
@charliebaumann2392 Год назад
Mr. Jimmy Kimmel really makes me laugh.🤣😂
@thedon9670
@thedon9670 Год назад
Except for that annoying as hell fake laugher from the audience.
@Sandi-ke9mi
@Sandi-ke9mi Год назад
The only problem with that is the Amish don’t have enemies lists. They are turn the other cheek, kind of people, and they don’t retaliate. I grew up in Pennsylvania. The Amish built barns and silos for us. We always paid them and gave them a ride home.
@chrisb.2395
@chrisb.2395 Год назад
In your horse drawn carriage?
@aliciacarrillo8945
@aliciacarrillo8945 Год назад
Love your show.
@jsully8076
@jsully8076 Год назад
Honey, it's a joke for goodness sake. A joke that you completely and utterly missed.
@officialmattmedia
@officialmattmedia Год назад
Family Guy explains it well: "The flock of amish fly away as avoiding confrontations is their best way to survive."
@MarcKloos
@MarcKloos Год назад
It must've been an Amish paradise there.
@minigiant8998
@minigiant8998 Год назад
as a dermatologist i can say the best time to slather on lotion is within 3 mins of exiting the shower. you want to lock in the moisture and prevent transepidermal water loss. they have done studies on this...
@heavnnnsent
@heavnnnsent Год назад
Somehow, I believe you! Thank you for your expert opinion 🙂
@lovegodlivealoha3352
@lovegodlivealoha3352 Год назад
That explains the water that sloughs off me 5 mins after I’ve left the shower & towel-dried.
@45green1
@45green1 Год назад
Jimmy 😂😂😂😂 Get with the lotion plan 😂😂😂😂
@worldwideinterests1
@worldwideinterests1 Год назад
That British woman may be more pathological than George Santos. She didn't miss a beat.
@howardtibbsthethird
@howardtibbsthethird Год назад
The reason they’re picking up on everything is because they weren’t even dialed in on slow moving objects.
@ralphcolerick4939
@ralphcolerick4939 Год назад
do you come in peace? FOR THE RIGHT PEOPLE YES!!!
@lauriemacquanan2141
@lauriemacquanan2141 Год назад
Puppies.... too bad that there isn't Amish punishment.
@owizcomg
@owizcomg Год назад
Jr should have listened to his mother who said "Son if some thinks you are an idiot don't open your mouth and prove it! Dad said good speech son. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@kylejackman1607
@kylejackman1607 Год назад
Trump thinks firing squads. Well,okie dokie, let's get him one.
@Steven-nu6np
@Steven-nu6np Год назад
I'm sure we can arrange that just for you Trump.
@jangowhitebear4646
@jangowhitebear4646 Год назад
So what happened to the Golden Retriever puppies?
@mackymintle7806
@mackymintle7806 Год назад
Aaron Rodgers lives in Dunning Kruger village. ..and he’s such a narcissist, he’s 100% SURE, he’s the smartest, and he knows “the truth“.
@jasondauenbaugh9060
@jasondauenbaugh9060 Год назад
Wacky wavy arm man. The only time his hands are calm is when he's rolling up a dollar bill !!
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