Choosing To Be A Stay At Home Mom || Mayim Bialik 

Shalini Outram This post made me cry. I’m an RN and just as I was considering staying home with my three little ones, I got a call from two different departments that I had applied for some time ago asking me to interview. Both of these departments are areas I have always wanted to be in (oncology and women’s health). It is forcing me to wrestle with what I really want. Your post spoke directly to my heart.

Good job :)

This made me feel sad for you.

What is the meaning in learning for so long instead of having fun when you stay at home in the end? I do not want to offend. I am just curious.

You got pregnant with you daughter? xD

I wish every country could afford it... their companies most be strong enough to support that

It’s not the companies. This is the result of pretty high income taxes. You know, that things that is sooooo horrible and Americans shiver at the mere thought.

Canada has a year maternity leave too. I can’t believe that’s not the standard everywhere.

spokeforhours I'm not American nor Canadian so I don't know how it works there, in my country, the maternity leave is with full pay... And companies have to pay a fee for the mom and also pay full salary for her substitute and support that for 3 or 4 months is hard for most of the businesses, the big companies can afford that thought... And paying more taxes is out of the questions for many of them...

​@@MimTorbell Austria has paid maternity leave too and it's paid by the national health insurance. The national health insurance is generally paid for by employees (they pay a small part, which is automatically deducted from their income along with the income tax) and the employers (they pay the larger part). You can choose between a few different models of how long you want to stay with your child, I think you can choose to stay up to 2 years. How much money you receive depends on the model you chose and the length of your leave. Fathers can also stay at home instead of the mothers or they can share the leave. During the first year your employer cannot dismiss you, but they can dismiss you during the 2nd year if they have valid economic or personal reason, but this needs to be accepted by a court.

Bless you

Good mommy~

Why would someone study at Harvard and waste their degree and money ?

​@@rheashank6881that really is a great question. To put it simply, in an "over all" statement: money, prestige, and position is not as important to most women as family, personal time, and making meaningful connections. This is why there are mostly men in top positions.

Melinda Jordan absolutely love how u worded it at the end. “I was there” perfect!

@A B Childless women can be out there doing that, they are needed, but I hope MOMS are home taking care of their children.

Harlee Saenz my mom and dad worked my whole life and we are very close; I have wonderful memories of my childhood as well so...

A B Why do you bring this fucked up fake virus into the conversation? Do we not hear it enough in the news? How many times a day do we need to thank the health workers and first respondents a day? It is getting out of control

Aggeliki P. I mean it’s definitely not fake, I agree many are overreacting as the truth is for the vast majority it doesn’t even make you that sick, let alone hospitalize or kill you. I had it myself, as well as my boyfriend and a coworker, and it wasn’t bad, started with a fever and sore throat, and then came a minor cough, and loss of taste and smell for a few days. Whole thing lasted about a week. But some people’s immune systems react very strongly with covid for some reason, which is why they get so sick. It’s best just to try to be respectful of others and keep your distance and wear a mask where required at least. it can’t hurt, and may help reduce the spread for the people who do get really sick from it.

Congratulations!! I hope you can make the choice that is best for your family. You only get a few very short years with little ones, and it goes by very quickly. I say that with having 6 kids who are now all in school. One about to graduate high school who is checking out medical programs. Your baby gets one momma. If you do what will make you the best person possible, you will be the best mom possible. Every child is a gift and a blessing. Best wishes to you and your upcoming adventure!!!

I know of a couple. One is a dental surgeon and the other is a lawyer. They’re just fine. You’ll be fine.

I hear you. My daughter is 10 months and I still need this video. I have my doctorate and have always been career minded. The thought of staying home wasn’t even in my mind. Now I truly wish I educated myself more and built my life to have multiple options. If I could, I’d spend every second with my Little. Damn student loans....

Awwwww congrats

The relationship you form with your child when you are there for it will be a source of love and pride for years to come. Best wishes to your family.

same in Hungary! it's great to have a choice

I Poland 1 year paid (80 % of average salary from last year), after that you can take 3 years unpaid maternity leave.

That is awesome. The US has a lot to learn from other countries. We only lived on one very small income and so I was able to stay home with our kids until they were all in school and then I worked part time to be home every afternoon after school, it meant working an early shift. When I was home full time in the early years it meant going without everything except the absolute essentials ~ I loved it anyways, I am glad I made the choice. Its not for everyone, I understand that.

wiopla In Montenegro is the same as in Poland, but only in public sector. What about the private sector in PL?

South africa only gets 4 months 😢😢😢😭

Amen girl! Same!

Same! I had my first two while working on my Masters, and had my third (and last) about a year after I finished it. From the time my second was born I made the decision to be a stay-at-home-mom until they were all in school full-time, even though it meant we had to pinch pennies to get by. Now I'm in my first year back working and while I did miss having a career, I'll never regret having been home with my kids for all those years. Best decision I could've made!

@Ordinary Sessel Not sure who your question was directed toward, but in our home the original intention was for my husband to stay home while I worked, because we thought I would make more. He ended up getting a job offer that paid more than I would've been making at the time, so he decided to take the job and I stayed home instead. I didn't care which parent was home with our kids. I just preferred one of us be there until they were all in school.

@Ordinary Sessel Why do you assume most men don't get a choice? My husband had that choice, but decided no, he would rather work, also he earned more than me. Not all men can cope with being on call 24/7

@@hiwall4883 Because they don't it's not good to be oblivious to reality

So do you think biblically speaking, it is better for a woman to provide care and emotional support at home than earn ?

Best comment

It means less retirement pay for all stay at home parents (mostly moms) in Germany. That's why classic role distribution CAN be a problem and parents should talk about if the dad could take a fair share.

As a mummy thank u for saying that. 😊

I like the fact that you said "stay at home parent"

In Canada, there is a real rearing provision in the Canada Pension Plan. You are not penalised in your retirement pension amount if you stay home to raise a child who is 7 years or less. If you have several kids, it applies as long as one of them is under 7, you can really stretch that out over a long period that way.

open a home business - it's extra cash and you can deduct expenses and part of your house off your taxes ...

Love this video!. I had my son 6 years ago i chose to stay with him at home until he was 6 months but then took some part time work as a babysitter until my son was 4 years old and stopped sitting and went to school 2 get certified in whatever I could .mostly something creative so it chose a nail technician course. It was hard to work first to look for work I did odd jobs in nail salons like front desk / Nail Tech but I wasn't happy because I was spending too much time away from my kid that I feel really needed me for development I chose to stop working for other people and salons in October 2017 and got pregnant that month fast forward to October 2018i have a 6 month old and a 1st grader. Im stay at home mom I work from home part-time as a nail technician mostly during the weekends so I'm able to help my family and I get to take my boyfriend to work drop off my son and pick them up and in between take care of the house take care of the baby and take client's after my husband's home or during the weekend and I don't regret spending more time with my kids then work. There is a lot in her future is just baby steps right now because the kids are still little and there's no room to grow in the near future. :)

Izabela Rivera have you thought about maybe babysitting once your son is older. That way you can bring in money and start socializing your son. It made things bearable when I was struggling as a single mom. My son got a playmate and I got to breath with my bills paid. Congratulations on your sons birth

Judith Bisson I did think about it but babysitting isn’t really my thing. I am currently learning to trade stock. It is an awesome way to supplement income and I can easily fit it into my schedule.

It's the best you can do, well done! You'll see, it pays of! Tons of work, but after I stayed with my dear daughter for 2 years, I can ensure you, we took the best decision ever! You won't regret it!

Heather, don't you give a fuck about what others think. Focus fully on your family. You will be giving the world gems of love. One day you will know the investment you made. Until then know that your making the right choice.

Tell your mom this: Is taking care of kids at a daycare a JOB? Yes? Then why isn't taking care of my OWN kids a job?? My mother was a working mom but she's very proud of me for wanting to raise my children instead of throwing them out of the house every day to have someone else be their mom. I'm sorry you don't have that same support! I realize you commented a long time ago but I had to reply. You're doing a great job. Screw what anyone else thinks. And if you did work, then screw what everyone thinks of that too! The shaming is real. You keep doing what you think is best for your child and PROUDLY!!

Dear heather! SCREW THEM ALL! It’s awful what is happening in US with motherhood and EXPECTATIONS we put on mothers to be both, and so many woman don’t even have choice to stay with their INFANTS which is insane! The truth is you can’t be great at both at the same time(I mean maybe in rare circumstances) and it is COMPLETELY AMAZING to choose to be there for your kids in those early years especially! I feel you on the mother thing, my mom can say something and it’ll stay in my head for days and it hurts, I really hope you are able to let it go because you are doing the right thing by your kids.. I’m pregnant right now and planning to be near my baby for those early years because I think it’s important! I worked very hard to get where I am in my career too but I’m not willing to give my child to be raised by someone else and really want to be there for them. I read so much about the importance of having a single caregiver( preferably mom/dad) those first 4 years and how crucial it is for that little persons whole life ahead, you are doing everything right! Don’t let ppl tell you different

@@tanyapatra5342 Congratulations on your upcoming baby! He or she is very lucky to have you. I agree, especially the early years is important. Its hard to believe that it's not only accepted, but it's encouraged, for mothers to abandon their children at daycares, with strangers and a pack of other people's kids. Especially when they're infants. Can't people just have some common sense that a baby, especially a nursing baby, but bottle fed ones too, are completely traumatized when ripped away from their mothers for hours day after day? Or even one day a week! Anyways, I'm getting carried away but just wanted to congratulate you on your baby and your decision to stay with him or her.

It’s because at a certain point it seems like your just trying to avoid adulting and doing something with your life .. don’t you think we would all love to just avoid bills and financial stress and just stay at home with kids all day and just do simple house chores ??? Lol and women empowerment??? You all already have so much options and freedoms and still act oppressed and then in this day and age where you could go out in the world and choose to be get what ever job a man could get and do whatever a man could do (ya know...what the original 1840’s feminist activist FAUGHT TO WORK!!! FAUGHT SO THEY DIDINT HAVE TO STAY HOME AND COULD DO WHATEVER A MAN COULD DO) and now you have all these new millennial woke lazy ass girl trying everything to avoid employment 🙄😂😂😂

Charli McIntosh so what do you do now?

@@MissSunshine221 when the kiddos got older I worked in healthcare. One day I got very sick. After that was a series of hospital stays and operations. I am unable to do the work I once did. Through everything I did find a new passion. Now I devote my life to growing organic food, herbs and other plants. I had to find a new dream. Thank you for asking. I hope you are having a wonderful day.

@@MissSunshine221 she doesn't of had to have done anything, she should be able to have a well earned rest if she so choses

Steph Starrett that’s sweet, and very true!

@@GrandmaGG001 I LOVE that! I'm gonna stay home with my babies too and when they get older, I plan to work part-time in schools and eventually live half the year in the South of France. That's my happy place where people aren't so work or money obsessed. There I will teach English and Spanish part time and have my organic garden and hike. When someone asks me "what do you do now?" this is what I plan on telling them.

You trusted your gut - that's a scary thing to do, but I'm glad you're happy you did it.

Very true! And I'm so glad I did!

I’m also an RN. The reason I felt so much more guilty than usual is I chose my career choice thinking I would work different hours from my husband to make it work (be a stay-at-home AND work outside the home). Well when my twins got here I knew immediately I could never leave them. They are 10 now (I also have a 9-year-old and twin 5-year-olds) and I will say it’s ALL been worth it for me to stay home. I felt so guilty and got flack for it but now they are older it has validated my choice.

I was a RN too. You know working with the elderly and having their point of view really helped me make up my mind to stay home. They would ask about my daughter and always comment that they grow do quickly. The time is do short and looking at these 80 year olds I could see there's still time for me, after I get to enjoy my children now.

I think being an RN helped. I was an ER nurse and seeing some things I did made me realize how short life is. My son is almost 8 and I am thinking about going back to work part time, but it has to be very flexible hours because I haven't missed one of his school events and don't plan to. I think everyone has to decide what's right for them, but they also need to stop shaming those of us to choose to stay home. I find more value in raising my son than I ever did in any job.

Hey! I love the sound of that! So positive 🤗 I’m an expectant mother from Toronto. Would love to have a quick chat on how you managed your time during your pregnancy

That Sounds Great.

Thank you for this. Was it difficult to re-enter the working work and get recognized by employers?

I had that on my resume too, and I was proud to list it as a real job. I stayed at home for seven years until my youngest started school...I interviewed and received a job offer immediately after he started school. Never regretted my years at home...it's where I was meant to be. I don't believe that God blessed me with two awesome kids just to have somebody else raise them. I have a bachelor of science degree and had no worries about finding work after SAHM-hood. We weren't "well off"...we chose for my husband to work hard outside the home, while I worked hard inside the home, and we lived frugally for those seven years. Those years are long gone...all that remains are sweet memories.

@ Jennifer Bybee ... I really want to take the risk and stay home instead of continuing my career but I’m scared. I have 2 months to make a final decision. Wish me luck!

I bet the people that judge you are mostly other women and feminist men. Conservative men see you as a rare unicorn 🦄.

You clearly do not understand feminism. Feminism is about deciding whether or not you are staying at home. It is about not being forced to do something because of specific roles.

@@julietrose260 yes but there's lots of people who think feminism = as many women in workforce as possible. So it then goes from stay in the kitchen to stay out still in the end eliminating choice

@@ianlilley2577 If that's what they think feminism is, they are wrong, ignore them.

@@hiwall4883 that seems to be what my government thinks

Exactly so!

To allow you to stay at home you need a husband that works so much that he can not almost see his kids. Selfless?

It's not selfless to raise your own kids.

Sorry l'm not trying to be funny. I see it as a responsibility for a parent...not a job.

And most important!!

SOME do what they can, but a good half do what they prefer to. Some people want the stressfree comfort over career and financial independence. I get your point but im getting tired of the literally endless backpatting and validation of each other, to the point of spoiling themselves, as if they were ALWAYS the poor oppressed victim that sadly for some reason has to suffer the wrath of life

As a mother, every choice you make is judged negatively, whatever you do. I just ignore it and do what is best for my family

sonora jones THANK YOOOUUUU

Amen!

It can be triggering for women who want to stay home but don't have the option to hear that from someone who does have that option. And unfortunately the rhetoric around stay-at-home vs working mom can come with a lot of moralizing (and often classist and/or sexist) judgment. Obviously this isn't coming from Mayim, but the subject already comes with a lot of baggage. This disclaimer is unfortunately necessary because of the broader context of the discussion.

I think the disclaimer was there to keep from offending anyone who felt attacked by her choices. OF COURSE that's not how she meant it, but we, as women, are so often scrutinized for our choices as parents.

Tbh it's probably mostly for men.

@Team Queen’ s Fearn Tucker and Bentley Forever oh go away and shut up would ya

@Team Queen’ s Fearn Tucker and Bentley Forever she probably did use protection but it is not 100% effective

@Team Queen’ s Fearn Tucker and Bentley Forever but it's doesn't work all the time

@Team Queen’ s Fearn Tucker and Bentley Forever i could be a hard ass and turn my back on my daughter BUT that would also hurt my grandchild in the short AND long term- it would create a bitterness between me and my daughter that may last years on end- there are times to be hard core but when you factor in a child and the folly of teens- this IN MY OPINION- is NOT a time for spite and hatred, but of love and forgiveness. My daughter has a hard road ahead- i WILL NOT make it harder with HATE. When it comes to MY children - i will ALWAYS choose the road of LOVE. YOU obviously aren't required to agree....

please, at least teach you granddaughter the value of condoms

Exactly, and you will always cherish those memories 💗

OMG YES. Many dads don't get this opportunity. You are super lucky

@Los Santos SoyBoy? Err no. I'll give you clue though.... I open-carry a Glock-17 and I work for the Government

Sara Sjölund We are talking about raising your children to adulthood, not just one year.

Sweden has a lot of socially responsible plans, I like how education is encouraged & students paid. It makes financial sense if it makes people more employable taxpayers in the long run.

@@3saphires1garnet15 yes, I agree. What is your point? What does that comment have to do with me writing about the fantastic benefits we have in Sweden?

Love it. That's the way it should be. So both parents can bond, it's a must.

The UK is pretty good like this right now too :)

sharnay teixeira amen! I was in the same scenario as you. I love being at home and taking care of everything while husband works. I couldn’t have gone back to work in the state I was in and survive.

Same here! God's planned out our lives just right.🙏🏽

I also agree. I think it is a myth that women "can have it all." That may be true but one of those things is bound to suffer.

Your a normal mom. Find something to rejuvenate your life. There is so much you can do! Write a book, sew, dance. You are free! No boss, No work anxiety. Don't envy your husband. He is just trying to provide. Raise those kids and live the wonderful life that is offered.

@@adorationxofficial You're basically telling her she should just accept her situation, regardless of her saying she's not comfortable with it? Write a book, sew, dance? Gosh, aren't you full of stereotypes? Some people want to work, love having a work place and a life completely separate from family life. Lex, I don't want to assume things, but it seems like you want your identity to spawn beyond motherhood and it's completely normal. If you can afford to, you should definitely start doing more of what makes you happy outside home. Your mental health is more important than anything. You absolutely don't have to sacrifice your sanity :)

@@beatricev6247 Yeah. Thanks for the reply. You completely mistook what I said. What I meant was that being a quote "stay at home mom" has nothing to with only doing kid or house related things. My point is that it is not one or the other she can litteraly do both. Her point was that she wanted to accomplish something non-kid related but yet envied women who could be stay at home mothers and actually enjoy it. I was just giving some tips on how she can make it fulfilling without missing out on raising her kids and giving them that genuine love she wants to show them. That's all. Just threw the boom thing in there cause both my mom and I are published authors by the way. It feel great!

Everybody is different idk why ppl shame women for wanting to work. My mom worked my whole life and I still have great memories of my childhood honestly

You gotta do what you are passionate about and gifted with. Some mom’s have passion and gifting to be stay at home moms and some moms have passion and gifting to work out in the world. We all have a different purpose and thank God for that diversity that allows us all to be different and accomplish different things.

You are going to be so glad you made that decision

Sounds depressing honestly.

That's such a beautiful story! Love really is the key to being a good parent. It's such a blessing that you could see the good in your parents' decision, even though you had to make sacrifices. I guess that made your relationship with your mom even better. God bless you!

Wow! I stay at home with my 5 & have for 10 years. My Dad is always telling me I need to get a job and I'm not going to have any retirement. Your comment confirms in my heart I am doing what is most important. Our kids are only young once and our most important job is to be there for them. I homeschool mine & one is special needs. I will continue to put my kids first. Thank you for your comment! ♡

@@luvmyangels3 but your dad doesn't remember that you can get your husbands retirement (if he has it and he dies first). My mom was a stay at home mom also I greatly appreciate it and guess what? She is actually living better than when my brother and I were kids, and it's all because of my dad.

luvmyangels3 You’re doing it right! 👏🏻

That’s lovely! You are lucky to have such a great family.

I just talked about this with my 19 year old. My husband works on the road alot so that we can pay the bills and so that I can be home with the kids. She's an amazing young woman, and while she doesn't want her own children, she really appreciates that I was able to stay home, and she respects and loves her dad for sacrificing and working so hard to provide for us. We've never been rich, and we had to save up to get non necessities, but we have a good time =)

But we don't have to. I recommend you don't. If people want to get triggered over that, they weren't worth speaking to anyhow.

Advances in communication technology have revealed just how stupid many of our fellow citizens are. You were just in denial before. When they had no voice they were easier to ignore.

@@sidecar7714 that too

Straight White Male exactly

@@nellycious1692 You sure about that? ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-mzYHBPTfXCI.html ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-vMSmUzDt-7U.html ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-5JB6qiJ5n5w.html Also, hopefully you realize what you just said is sexist and racist, *going by SJW/feminist logic.*

kay Trust me, working moms catch flak, too. I’ve been told I should have never had children and been accused of letting someone else raise my kids (although where that ‘someone else’ was during midnight puke tests, I have no idea). I think it’s just the American pastime to disparage what other moms do.

******MESSAGE TO HOUSEWIVES OR SOON TO BE *********** A stay home wife or a stay home husband is a duty that comes with the decision of buying/renting a house and having children(s). It NOT A JOB you do not have the option to choose whether or not you want or don't want to do it. It your DUTY as a parent to raise your children and run the household. That task CAN be done with both parents working. There is a difference between school, college, university and life lesson. School university and college will teach your child how to function and work in today society. While the life lesson should be given by the parents containing lessons such as belief religion moral personality value politics good manners respect love etc... I do agree that the school is fucked up just like many other things in our society. But it this same society that provide this system that we living on. This system that allows us to have food 2 feet away water house clothes etc... How because there is people out there working OUTSIDE OF THEY HOME during rain snow building this system those laws. We all want to just stay home with our family all day long but we can't we have to work not just for money but to contribute to the development of our society so that EVERYONE'S CHILDREN can have a better future a better system a place to live. You can't ignore the world staying in your little bubble taking care of your kids only and hoping that somehow the world will be a better place later on. SO GO THE WORK Thank you.

Pter Lo not everyone has to follow your agenda. There’s different tasks so let people live their lives

@@camiller958 I'm not asking you to follow what I do I'm asking everyone to be fair you using the system without contributing to it that selfish asf

Yes!

Sarah Hernandez Oh wow I feel the same way. This video just showed up in my feed and I needed to hear this🙏🏼

That how I always felt. But I'm not ambitious person and I don't care about career. I did finish my faculty, just in case 😊

@K Weaver what in the actual hell are you talking about? Are you dumb? Blind? Illiterate? Where in my entire post did you somehow get the vibe that I'm sexist? I literally never even brought up sexism, or said women are supposed to so what I did. Some people man, some people. 😂

@K Weaver do you know how to read? I literally wrote that I WANTED TO. I WANTED to watch my kid grow up and be apart of his life throughout his childhood. If I wanted to work I could have kept my job. You're an idiot. You really should so back to school.

@K Weaver perhaps if you had a stay at home parent you'd be better at reading, lol🤷‍♀️

That’s awesome. God bless 💕

Lol 😄. I am a sahm and I understand your point of view.

Same

SAAMME i feel like everything I hear about family/ motherhood is just - women need to be a housewife / stay home mom because otherwise they won't be happy and their bad moms and the man can be the provider... I know I could never stay at home for so long. Idk if I want to have a child one day but if I will I won't be able to stay at home for years and do nothing other than existing. I need my projects and my work I know I would be unhappy otherwise wich would also make me a bad mom. Idk just let women make their own decisions if staying at home makes you happy go for it. If not than don't. Society will tell you that you're wrong no Matter what

Absolutely! Working moms are good moms too!

It’s so important to be happy yourself and set an example for your kids! Yes the first 3-4 years even just 1 are very important for mom to be around as much as possible, but you’re completely right your kids need you healthy and happy!

This is Soo true. I am also in the same situation. It's just you know hard many people think I am lazy just because I chose to raise my kids .

​@@kezzywambui7487 lazy??? This is a lot of work.

Bea M especially a Dr. neuroscientist!

Actually it's the definition of selfishness, but ok.

Whitney Jane Do explain...

Watch "I'm A Working, Divorced Mother || Mayim Bialik" on RU-vid ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-yVHp58xkQX4.html

And men feeling this way? Ah, no, this is only for women.

@Bob Exactly, these things are what any adult does regardless, i mean, unless you let yourself go and live your best years of life as just an old fart that is always dependent on everyone around :/

Being a forever SAHM is indeed a risky position. I am saying this from my personal family experience.

@@ganeshhegde8896 it’s risky just like a single mom getting sick or lose their job.

As eastern european, I get tired of this low hanging fruit kind of basing of american culture differences. They do it differently, that's all. Besides a lot of traditional things are illegal and cruel now, because being a tradition doesnt translate to being morally right this is a stupid argument. A lot of new non traditional changes are extreme improvements too but you overlook that., just like plenty of traditions are horrible in this age

I love America. 🇺🇸 it's the liberal agenda that has destroyed the family. Here--------> take a red pill🔴

Julia Sochnikova I love the way you think. Everything you wrote is spot on.

It’s nice if you have people who can help. Sometimes it’s not grandparents or extended family’s fault that they cannot help. They are full time carers, or sick or disabled themselves, or live too far away for work, or deceased and can’t help (All of these are true in my family). It’s great if the ideal exists, but it’s just not realistic these days where people don’t have lots of kids, because there aren’t a lot of aunts and uncles when your parents don’t have a lot of kids, and when people aren’t having kids as young, their parents may have passed away. I don’t think society is the cause of the village going away. Lots of people still have the village, but lots of people as has always been the case, do not due to circumstances outside of everyone’s control.

It is also not in other countries, even in Asia.. Yes, women should not be left alone to deal with small kids. I used to had the privilege to experienced this kind of pain. Pregnant and raising baby alone while forcing myself going to work amidst the cries of my little baby..

Alex Deaton amen girl!

Amen yes!

@A B yeah, I agree. Paying people to not work is unfair to people who do work.

The money paid to people on parental leave doesn’t come from tax dollars. It comes from employment insurance which everyone pays into. You are just claiming an insurance benefit that you are entitled to. The money coming from the government is just a widely-spread misconception in America to scare people out of the idea.

@@Mjl449 of course the benifit isn't funded by the gov. The government doesn't have money of its' own. The government takes money from people to give to people. The government is giving out other peoples' money, by them requiring people to pay into it. Its' not my fault somebody else decided to have kids. I wish the gov would pay me to go on vacation the next time I decide to go.

When you pay your health insurance premium every month and then you get sick and make a claim to cover the costs of seeing a doctor, you are entitled to the money from the insurance company. That’s why you’ve been paying into it every month. Employment insurance is the same thing. People pay into it every month, so that when they go on parental leave they can make a claim. I don’t get why this is so hard to understand. You are literally getting back the money you put in. It’s yours to claim 🤦‍♀️

@@Mjl449 yeah,well I don't choose to be sick. I'm not going to be using paternity leave, so why should I be forced to pay into it.

A B I never said I wasn’t employed. All I said was that I was lucky to be a stay at home mom. No need in being ugly. Seems you have some anger issues sorry about that.

My husband and I plan to get life insurance for each other that is 10X our salary as soon as I enter my second trimester. I also have an education and two years worth of savings. This scenario doesn't worry me at all! But I am in the U.S.A so my choices are very different. A big portion of my family lives in a "developing country" and they all stayed home with their babies. Money is less there but community tends to be stronger. At least that's the case in the part of Mexico where my family is from.

@A B ummm... what's so funny? You need to let people live their life as they want

@A B looks like someone has too much time on their hands... get over it your one month too late

@A B bahhahahahaa you sound pretty butthurt about something.

Yes this happen to me

This. For too many of us a two income household is necessary just to scrape by. I personally would not want to stay home with babies, but my husband would if we could afford home and food on one salary.

Your life is exactly like mine. We did the same with my husband on a night shift and I worked days. I'm much farther down the road because my girls are at the end of high school now. My girls are well rounded, very dependable and independent. There will be struggles within the family so make sure you and your husband have date night at least once a month.

I never had the choice either, but I don’t fault those who can and do. I might not have been able to, but I did always want it.

@@wendydelaney2790 oh I don't fault them either. I will admit to a fair amount of envy.

@@ellenm4269 I always plan to arrange a date night and don't. I need to commit to making it happen. We have so little time together. Thank you for your kind words and advice!

Full circe 😁

Good for you!! That seems like an awesome idea, never thought of that. Good luck 😊

yes mommy Shanna. I agree with u. I'm so happy to find this vlog coz it boost my dignity and value as a person.. I'm also a college graduate, after 10 years of working and helping my family, now a stay at home wife. One of the challenges are the criticism and disrespect of some people, why u gave up your career?, what will you do now? now, you're less valuable. etc., etc., and it's so annoying coz it makes me feel that I'm so wrong with my choice in life and I become guilty of the thing that I would love to do though it's an unpaid job.. They don't know how much anxiety they're giving to a Stay at home Mom. I Salute all the moms especially those who bravely let go of their careers just to cherish every milestones of their children. It's tough, but it's priceless... Time will never come back..

Don't feel the need to explain yourself all the time. As long as you are doing what's right for you and are confident in that, that's what matters... Not if other people understand or agree

I'm happy that you were able to experience seeing your baby grow his first few years! I wish you all the best in these years to come :)

I totally agree with you. I don’t want to stay home, staying home makes me depressed and unsuccessful. But if it makes others happy, then that’s great. I just wish both parents had better parental leaves and we encouraged father to take time off as well.

@@unscmistressgaming1132 Do you have children now ?

@Janaina Ribeiro YES!

You're not and will never be a lose.. if my mum didn't stay at home to train me? i wonder what i woulda been today

Meenadevi pandiyan your husband thinks you’re a loser too sweetheart 😹😹😹

BROTHER TN why because she takes care of her children instead of of making extra money ? Are you stupid? Let’s see how you deal with your family in the future idiot

BROTHER TN fucken troll .

@@brothertn708 your wife thinks your a loser too..

I'm in Ireland too and I find the same. If you aren't contributing financially then you aren't contributing anything of value. Until people get better education as to the importance of attachment and care givers this attitude won't change. Funnily enough previous generations had no problem seeing the value in children being cared for at home bu their parents.

Exactly!! Same thing in America... I was speaking about it in a comment I just made a few seconds ago. 😥😥 It should be the woman's choice of what she wants to do.

@@niamhgray5849 3 babies and no maternity pay. Agency nursing in the downturn meant I didn't have enough paye. Shocking really.

No one speak about the eventual damage of féminisme. I think tere are two kinds of feminism. One were women pretend to be man and one where man and women chose there path with there sensibility and wichs.

@Juliana Silva people like you make me sick. You claim to be so much for allowing women to be free and independent, but you just oppress the ones who disagree with you into submitting to your form of society. You are liberating anyone. You're just creating new discrimination because you're so blind that you refuse to even see the ignorance of what you stand for.

@Amandeep Wahi I agree but that woman also can pride herself in taking very good care of her husband and children in return. It's teamwork and sharing the load. A job to be proud of; but young girls are now taught being a homemaker is less somehow?? Being a homemaker is what you make of it. The woman mustn't be lazy, she has to be self motivated. And the man must share, not be controlling because he brings the cash to the house.

Exactly right! 🙏🏼

It is sad when people think a woman with a Masters degree is not smart enough

Having a parent that is depressed but always there is worse than having a parent who is there sometimes but enjoys the time with you.

@Evelynxstarling What a strange and shitty thing to comment.

@Sydney crap

Nan G don’t give up on your own development and stability, the kids will achieve more if their mom is an achiever too, also it’s dangerous to be dependent financially, I know a lot of women who need to beg their controlling husbands for anything for themselves, that’s the other side of it - men start feeling superior and start insulting you for being useless while expecting to be served

You will be so happy you did

If you wanna see your family live in the street, go ahead

@@roxymax8917 because a woman can't support a family? Come on man, we are decades past this realm of thinking.