Cinematic Excrement: Episode 114 - Star Trek V 

Or: Scotty's spilt his whisky over the transporter coils.

Her real first name is Grace. What else needs to be said? Anybody who publically tells Shatner to make TV history together again and kiss her ass can do no wrong in my world.

@Mason Allen : Probably true, but also probably not so easy at the time because of the big Writers' Guild Strike that was happening at the time.

Ironically Roddenberry had a similar idea.

What does SCIENCE fiction need with a god?

I always thought it was "Damned Protestants and their anal lubricants!"

Have you ever seen the movie Zardoz? Trust me, Star Trek V has got NOTHING on that movie in terms of weird dialogue. "The gun is good! The penis is evil!"

It is one of the more memorable lines in any of the Trek films. Most of the better lines in II and VI are from Moby Dick or Shakespeare (translated from the original Klingon, obviously!).

It's the best line ever!

This comment

But only for his work in the 90s and early 2000s. We must never forget what was done to percy jackson

@@ConnorNotyerbidness Or Pixels.

@@ConnorNotyerbidness Don´t forget he wrote Gremlins and Goonies in the 80´s

Michael Strong I think that’s more the studio than Columbus.

I'm curious as to whether he's going to redo some of those reviews, given that some of them were made before Sean got good equipment.

@@Betta66 Unlikely, considering, how, many Razzies, are, left.

@@matthewdaley746 There's a faster way of doing this. Every time there's a tie, he could just review both movies in the same video. He did that with the mid-2000s Fantastic Four movies, after all.

@@Betta66 He, "might," want to, at least, minimize the damage to his sanity.

Vh9bhi u hhiv hv

Please, I beg you. Never do that again.

Paradise City: Where the klingons are drunk and Romulans Ale. Seriously, you wonder what the "ambassadors" did to get shipped to that hell hole.

Why don't you beam me uuuuuuuuuuuuup

Nobody gives a shit about Linkara and his weird, talentless brain.

This was also post Whale probe so the Enterprise A was in spacedock. That and the excuse plot that they wanted the Enterprise crew on the mission.

They actually say in the movie that there are other ships. In the ENTIRE QUADRANT, that is 1/4 of the Milky Way. The problem is that Kirn can't fly any other ship, but Enterprise. And stolen Klingon ship. It's a mental disorder. Of the screenwriters... Also, if you stand in front of a Warp core, lit a candle and say "Linkara!" three times, he will show up and nitpick you to death with pointless Star Trek details...

I think he means the over-obsessive trekkie.

Awesomely Sarcastic you can still be a casual fan and cosplay

I'm a casual fan of Halo but I also have a toy energy sword hanging from my bedroom wall. Replica Trek uniforms aren't expensive, especially the one he's wearing; when it first debuted online it was only about $20.

@@matthewdaley746 What, like a fruit punch? Can I have some, I'm feeling parched...

maybe he borrowed it

I think "Ford Fairlane" is up first, though. Considering Sean's going alphabetically and all. :/

But... the beamer is broken!

Great. Now I evaporated like the Vulcan in the Motion Picture.

@@wstine79 don't worry - Captain Kirk's got this!

'Cat women have three titties' would fit the rhythm better.

Thankfully I work the late shift so I'm watching this on my lunch break.

Brandon McLendon you guys understand the word Timezones right?

Gracekim1 Yes, I am aware.

@@brandonmclendon5368 I'm glad you, are.

Not, a hard decision.

Everyone talks about Shatner's ego, but Kirk falls off the mountain and Spock has to save him, so Spock is the hero.

The reason Kirk was climbing the mountain was explained in the scene by Kirk himself. "Because it's there".

@@hueowen2786 The Joker had a great quote regarding why jokes, are, better, left unexplained.

This film was awful , it made no sense, no money people had to play several roles.

Amanda did not give birth to Spock. Spock is a product of Vulcan science. Vulcans and humans are not compatible.

If you look at Into Darkness solely as a film, then this, The Motion Picture, Generations and Insurrection are definitely worse. You might even be able to argue that The Search for Spock is worse. But as a Star Trek film, Into Darkness is the worst because it's the only one that doesn't offer any interesting ideas, and it's just a mindless action film.

the new star treks were awful. this one is pretty okay. ... why would god need a space ship gets me every time. as does 'go to sleep, spock'

I think Into Darkness was just forgettable above all else. I didn’t even see the third one.

I like Into Darkness

Because this one tried to do something new and different, it just failed in every way imaginable, and like Sean said, some parts of it were pretty decent, but at least it tried. Into Darkness didn't even try. It was a lazy, nearly identical copy of Wrath of Khan, and the parts that were changed didn't make any sense. Hell, even the parts that were the same didn't make any sense - the reason Wrath of Khan was such a great, powerful and emotionally charged movie was because of Kirk and Khan's history with each other from the TOS episode Space Seed. Since it was Kirk who put Khan's Kooky Khlan on that planet, Khan blames Kirk for everything that happened to them since then, which makes the ensuing conflict far more personal and raises the emotional stakes as well as the political stakes. Adding in Kirk's ex and son turned that up to 11. Khan's appearance in Into Darkness lacked all of that emotional tension, so he was relegated to simply Villain of the Week. Carol was there but she and Kirk were far too young to have a grown child together, so that emotional tension was gone, and at that point, they weren't even together long enough to have the same emotional connection that the OG Kirk and Marcus had in Wrath of Khan. Basically, everything that made Wrath of Khan great was gone in Into Darkness, and they made up for it with some really nonsensical action pieces and more "Pewpew 'splosions". They're both terrible, no doubt, but this one was at least ambitiously terrible where the other was lazy and terrible, which is worse.

@@BaranoffIsaac Well, there's Box Office Mojo.

I particularly detest the obnoxiously pretentious Ba’ku, or aka “those goddamned space elves”. Or as another reviewer put it, “Piss off back to your tree and make me some cookies”.

@@juliagoodwin3461 Yeah, they really deserved to, lose, so, of course, they didn't.

That's the only feature which Emmy winning legend William Shatner ever directed for Paramount.

Luckily he sold us his last copy.

Well, he told them to give him gold and be christian or to die. That's... not very good case anyway.

@@MazTheOriginalGod and he also told them if they didn't meet their gold quotas, they would have their hands chopped off.

This is a bunch of misinformation, to put it mildly. Other than being historically inaccurate and based on 4th party accounts (you quote copies of letters written by people 100 years after Columbus, who never even met him), these lies are very offensive to hispanic and latino people, which could prove to be highly troubling for an Irish boi in California.

To clear any misconceptions I recommend watching ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-ZEw8c6TmzGg.html That vid is very much in the middle

Matthew Daley no, it is not. Your comment is akin to saying that US citizenship is just slavery by another name.

Not only that, Uhura having the name Nyota was never canon until Trek 11 decided to use it. So in 1989, nobody knew anything else to call her.

Also in Bones, Dr. Temprence Brennan called Booth, Booth instead of his first name Seeley.

@@hseile7314 That's, because, Seeley is, oh, what's the word, stupid?

Castle and Beckett

@@MichaelAarons1701 Star Trek 11? There's not a Star Trek 11. Oh, you mean the 2009 reboot. Yea, still not 11, since it wasn't a continuation from 10; when they rebooted the movie franchise, it reset the counter. That confused me for a bit.

Good, good! Let the hate flow through you! (psst, wrong franchise...) Oh! Uhh... Resistance is futile?

@@Dargonhuman Complaining about Picard is futile, it, was, just renewed.

You don't need that half hour of sleep.

It was a financial success at the box office in the 1989-1990 season, despite its negative reviews and so on.

Pitbull would be the king winner.

Bo Derek and Andrew Dice Clay? Oh boy.

@@wstine79 Also, the President of the United States.

There's only one decent Next Generation film and that's First Contact. The rest are zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz snore material.

And at least V's 'search for God' concept has some imagination to it, even if the execution is cack-handed. Insurrection's just a joyless, utterly pedestrian journey through a plot that was already old-hat back in the days of pulp sci-fi magazines.

So Star Trek: Insurrection is the TNG version of Star Trek: The motion picture?

Also Insurrection pretty much destroys (or tried to) everything the Federation stood for.

You know, now that you mention it...that’s a FAR better version of this movie’s script, flawed and somewhat dated though it may be.

Look, I’m not defending the Resident Evil movies as ANY kind of art or entertainment (except-debatably-the first installment), and Anderson is quite flawed as a director, but he’s NOT, nor ever WILL be, as bad or cynical a director as Bay is. “Event Horizon,” for all its flaws, still shows off a talent and creative mindset that would have had a lot of potential if he hadn’t gotten bogged down in a dumb franchise at a major studio’s behest. Same with Jovovich-she isn’t the best actress in the world, but she’s shown flashes of talent and brilliance in efforts like “Dazed And Confused” and “The Fifth Element,” and you CAN’T tell me she’s more talentless than Kate Beckinsale or Megan Fox.

@Captain Brandon Horror Film Lover Columbus may have ushered in a, Reign of Terror, but, Cortes, and, Pizarro, REALLY, ratcheted it up to eleven.

@@matthewdaley746 There was already terror in the New World. The Aztecs murdered thousands in what is today Mexico City in human sacrifices in a single month.

@@charlesvan13 Yeah, but, apparently, massacres in the name of religion, are, somehow, not, as bad as massacres in pursuit of wealth.

@@matthewdaley746 The Western hemisphere natives weren't killed by a "reign of terror". They died because they had no resistance to diseases brought from the Eastern hemisphere.

@@charlesvan13 They died of a lot a things, incurable diseases just happened to be the largest killer out of very many.

Spock is a Vulcan not a Klingon!

@@oaktree2406 He's actually a half-Vulcan, his mother, was, human, thus, his occasional logical lapses.

@@matthewdaley746 oh yea sure i know, thanks!

The original comment at first said Klingon

@@oaktree2406 So, many alien races.

The WGA is the bigger villain here.

Just, like, Rocky V!

Mommy is not as bad as Bolero,Lonely and Howard. Leonard and Inchon...ugh. They are "Manos" kind of bad.

Leonard Part 6, also, has gathered a META creepiness.

They, were, hoping we wouldn't notice.

Exactly. Using the plot hole created by this movie, Starfleet could have rescued Voyager from the Delta Quadrant in mere days or weeks by using the Enterprise route to get to the center of the galaxy, where they could have asked the Cytherians (from TNG) to use their technology to bring Voyager home.

@@thomasn3882 Blame the WGA, for, that one.