I'm a depressant too and I have the Robin Williams syndrome where I try to make everybody happy and I hide behind my sadness but it makes me happy when I make other people laugh even though my life is just unhappy latest I grew up with you listening to all your music depression is a real disease I tell you that and I have it thank you so much for being real and open as you are right now God bless you and your family
Amazing Cledus, God Bless you and your family. You have a huge heart and it shows, sometimes we have to hit rock bottom and be reborn in a sense to appreciate the small things in life. Always loved your music. It would be nice to meet you one day.
This video is so very real. I too have been through hell, my story just looks different than yours. I’ve had around 11 years of therapy and multiple therapists who all had years in their line of work have sat across from me and shuddered shaking their heads listening to what I’ve been through. Multiple people who have heard less than half of what I’ve been through have told me that a majority of people had they been through what I have would be dead by now by suicide, or an alcoholic or drug addict. My problem is porn addiction, though I’m 57 and my sex drive has decreased which is actually a relief and honestly a good thing. In the middle 90’s I began attending various sex addiction groups then found the best one which was God based and went through a program which helped me some. I should probably go through the program again. Otherwise I stopped alcohol in 2001 and never used drugs. In 2001 a new gal named Abby was hired at the restaurant I work at and in the year she worked there I soon fell in love with her though I didn’t know it yet. Her bipolar disorder emerged up into her life that year and she moved back to Montana to live with her parents. She visited me at the restaurant in 2011 and I cried for 30 minutes after she left. I finally found her on Facebook in 2013, she was I believe engaged or close to it, which fell apart in 2015 and she went off of her medications and hit rock bottom in the fall of 2015 then went in to get stabilized in November. Back to April 2015 I began my 9 months on two pharmaceutical antibiotics for chronic Lyme disease. My family barely was there for me and I mean barely. I was so depressed, but Abby gave me a reason to live. Abby got out of the hospital December 9th 2015. She had nothing and her mom bought her a flip phone and we began texting every day, she in Montana and me in Minnesota, 1000 miles apart. I tried with all of my heart to help her in what was possibly rock bottom for her. I was trying so hard that I could feel the tightness in my chest to the point it effected my breathing. I think that Abby and I helped each other. We talked about one of us moving to the area that the other person lived in so we could begin dating but that idea began to deflate August 2016. She began dating another guy but didn’t tell me until December 15 2016. Then she stopped talking to me January 3rd 2017. She married another guy in late 2020, a guy I believe she had been dating for multiple years. I’m happy for her. But meeting and falling in love with her and then the years 2015/2016 in which she and I interacted a lot with each other was very impressionable. She helped keep me alive through Lyme treatments when my family did barely more than nothing through that time. Sorry I got so long. Doing better now, began a new natural medicine antibiotic for my Lyme disease in November 2020 and I’ve been working 2 jobs for 16 months. Maybe I’ll find another woman to fall in love with, and this time get to marry her.
