CLIP: DR UMAR talks CASUAL SEX, INTERACIAL Relationships & DATING in BLACK CULTURE 

👉 Dating Cards: www.hardlyinitiated.com/products/dating-deck

People should work on themselves before pursuing serious relationships and defitnetly before having children

I dont care what nobody say. Dr Umar's Voice is NECCESARY!

Not in love, but addicted to their presence. Legendary!

I am Mexican but I love Dr. Umar. He reminds me of my Dad in the sense of his beliefs on Men and how they should operate

Anger is an emotion. And dudes are full of emotions too

I do not want a married man . I do not want a man who is dating another person . I would rather be alone if there isn't enough men. But, other people can do whatever they want to do.

Queens, take note. Dr. Umar said (and the hosts agreed) it only takes a man the MAX 6 mos to recognize if you are his wife or not. Great episode!

I am black African, and I am so glad to hear that coming out from you. our black community need to listen something like this everyday. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

If you date at least a year, you’ll learn a person’s habits without cohabitating.

I refuse to be involved in undisciplined men just sleeping around.

I just love the fact that black men are concerned with the state of the black unit/relationships and having these meaningful conversations. Thanks for using your platform 🙏

I must admit I've never been a Dr. Umar fan, but when he said "when we get emotional you're dealing with your unconscious pains and memories. When you get emotional that's your trauma talking", that hit home. My Pastor says that a lot.

I domt want a man living with me without marriage...Im.not doing wife duties as a girlfriend and I dont want kids out of wedlock

What should be at the foundation of a healthy relationship? GOD!!!

Dr. Umar intro 1:04 Divide Between Black men and Black women (disruption of the black family, women earning more) 3:37 Resolve and Solutions 9:45 Matriarchy, Patriarchy, other factors that harm unity 11:45 (Money and Sex 13:12) What should be at the root of a healthy relationship? 15:58 Tying trauma back in 24:15 How do you define love? 25:36 How do you unlock the painbody/safe space? 30:05 Compromise in a Relationship 39:46 Unmet Childhood Needs 41:20 Male Leadership in Relationship, Black Love Overseas, Polygamy 43:52

This is the deepest video I've watched on RU-vid in my life. So much critical information unpacked in one episode.

My grandfather was polygamous it destroyed our family. He had over 100 kids and had no honor when he died.

Dr. Umar is speaking the truth! This conversation is needed for all black kings and queens to understand that communication,emotional, mental, and spiritual healing is necessary before getting involved in a relationship

Dr Umar drop so much Gems in the podcast, he is glowing! Preach…..

I didn’t want this video to end. This conversation was very insightful.

Lost me at polygamy. Not trying to date a married man either. Men need to learn control.

No human can shame me into a polygamous relationship with a man. Point, blank, period.

We attract what we are. The answer is healing to have the kind of relationships we want. If youre immature and insecure, thats what you attract. Whether we like it or not. Thank you Dr. Umar for sharing this, much needed!

This interview was utterly & completely FLAWLESS!!!

This type of information/ Education never receives the views it should but from a spiritual aspect those who are ready to receive it will see it and hear it.... Thank you!! Dr Umar..🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾 Many confirmations spiritually strictly from a position of obedience however to hear it explained so eloquently is PRICELESS 🎉

I once heard love exist when you care and are devoted to another’s spiritual growth as much as your own.

I'm Cameroonian. African marriage is a union of two extended families and not just two individuals or nuclei families. This gives a stronger bond in marriage. Before marriage, both families make inquiries about upbringing of both partners and weigh the pros and cons. Marriage is for the mature and once in it, there is no looking back. African men will defend their sisters from all forms of mistreatment as youths and as married woman. The joy of a man is to provide and earn her woman's submissiveness while that of a woman is to feel secured and have her man eat her food. serious marital problems are solved by parents and In-laws.

This man right here...NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH!!!!

You need to get healed....and me getting my Bachelors of Science in Psychology and I have been healed and when you are healed you don't tolerate disfunction in any part of your life.

His truth is such a downer. I want a American Black healed emotionally mature heterosexual honest kind good moral character communicative God fearing man who wants 1 Black Woman to build a healthy Black family/community. Sounds like a unicorn. 😐

Having children out of wedlock changes the dynamic of future relationships for the rest of both parties lives.😮

This is a gem. Don't let the outside noise fool u about this brotha and his intentions! 🖤

It’s always interesting that when poly lifestyle is discussed they never mention the woman sleeping with other men and women, nor the risk associated to one’s health. There is an STI and STD pandemic amongst Black men and women.

Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!! So many don’t have EARS to hear this truth about us. Thank you for your enlightenment 🖤👍🏽

All I kept saying is, "yeah, yeah, yeah." Brother Umar was on point. I only date to get married and have children. Very serious.

It’s not a rise of single motherhood. It’s a rise in absent fatherhood

Cohabitation is a pleasure contract. This should not be recommended. The commitment during cohabitation is too low, and shacking up without the covenant of marriage is not advised. The reasons for cohabiting may sound plausible and somewhat convincing, but the statistics reveal that the consequences of such are quite tragic!

This was deep! Dr. Umar is speaking facts! 💯💯💯💯

Dr. Umar walks so boldly in his gift of psychology! and he listens with both ears and communicates the black culture problems and solutions….sooo eloquently! Thank you sir!❤

Wow I just realized that my first husband was the only man that I’ve ever dated that never threw my trauma up in my face at his convenience.

Take the break and heal

I'm glad I received my wisdom and knowledge from God. Because the books won't give it to you all the way straight.

The scales have finally fallen off my eyes and I'm so ready to move forth with all my strength. And no one has ever placed this out like this man . He is a true soilder

Dr Umar dropped some deep truth bombs in this session, riveting, thought-provoking and humorous AF convo🙏✨️

Pleasure contract vs relationship 4 things needed as children from parents, mostly from opposity parent sex and what created children trauma leading to a partner unmet needs. - Intimacy: feel the love of your parent - Trust: could you trust your parent when they give you a word - Avaibility: was your present present in your life - Reciprocity: did your parents do for you

Dr Umar has a lot of knowledge. Thank you so much for your love for black people

I just start watching Dr. Umar on RU-vid , he’s amazing human being but what fascinates me more is his humbleness .

I cannot believe the low views on this video because its such valuable information. But i guess this proves that our people would rather watch foolishness than something educational.

Women, be very wise and use discernment when dating and opening up. A narcissist man would use what you share against you in the future and would attempt to destroy you with WHAT YOU SHARED! Pray

The Bible says when you feel forsaken by your mother and father I will take you up. Whether I received all that from my mother or father God has been my validator and I am the best woman I could ever be. A motto is "I am perfectly fine with me".

I respect the interviews and what you all are doing Blessings!!!! Grateful to have come across this platform

I love black healthy and happy black men discussing issues in our community, with knowledgeable wisdom and respect 🥹🫡🫡🙏🏽❤️

He’s really brilliant! Such a good conversation.

Psychological Addiction - I plan to share in my Trauma Practitioner Program! Most of Dr. Umar’s comments resonate with me. Where we differ is re my non-denominational faith in which cohabitating without marriage in fornication or adultery is not ordained by God. Culture may change, the Word of God stands throughout time. Truly Dr. Umar dropped spectacular relationship and beneficial gems!

I enjoy listening to Dr. Umar. It’s always a pleasure 😊

I don’t agree with shacking as a remedy for successful marriage I know people who lived together and still divorce - what he failed to mention is maturity and trauma healing has no address it’s a mental state and emotional way of being- living with someone doesn’t make me accountable or willing to confront or deal with issues that come up if I’m just trying to get to marriage - this happens more often than not

One of the greatest dialogs I have seen in a long while. Respect brothers.

That period of healing is so needed

I have been on my healing process for the last five years. And it has been amazing! It has created a new person in me to give love , give joy, and give healthy boundaries.

I am a Nigerian sister liviing in Europe ,and i think Dr. Umar is a Genius....I am always captivated when he speaks CHAPEAU👏👏👏👏. He is so right with his views about mothers passing their biases unto especially their female kids....My mother did that ,and i unfortunately and to my horror, realised albeit too late that i too had made the same mistakes with my daugher....(God help me) .Thanks for this Sermon.....I NEEDED it!

Thank God another man said it! I have been telling people forever that love is unconditional, and they always tell me I am wrong.

I’m so glad Dr.UMAR is my go to person for self development! Because for year’s I thought I was alone, but listening to him let’s me know I’m in the right mindset💪🏾

I AM so Delighted to witness Dr. Umar speaking and leading this way ....Much Respect 💕

What a powerful real conversation about Dating in the Black Community He was on point with everything except living together prior to marriage. We definitely need more transparency and therapy from past traumas are needed. Thank you Hardly Initiated for being a true voice on social media for balanced relationships and content May the Lord continue to bless this platform so excited to see what is coming in the near future

This man is incredible. Dr Umar ❤️❤️🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿

Very needed conversation. He dropped so many gems. I will have to listen to this again and take notes. Thank you @drumarjohnson👏

This Dr Umar, I love his wisdom!!!!! Poignant points!

I have issues being vulnerable about past trauma but have found people will use that to manipulate you and/or use against you, and/or judge you. In my mind my expectation is that you will understand me better. I have yet to meet someone who can do that. Breach of confidentiality is a huge issue for me.

No living together for me marriage first

🔥🔥 Lawd what an amazing conversation 🙏🏽

I wish I heard all of this in my 20s… this is some good stuff right here.

Pre and post marital counseling is essential. Go to marriage counseling before you get married, and have post marital counseling reserved for when challenges occur in the relationship.

This conversation is so deep and I'm more convinced now that black people face the same problems everywhere in the world.

W DR. UMAR THROUGHOUT THIS WHOLE PODCAST❗️I’m 22y/o. Definitely have had my celibacy and single moments. Just tired of being around and surrounded w/ all women who truly don’t care but act like they do. I have been pregnant and cheated on by women I thought truly cared about me but didn't. Dr. Umar dropped plenty of gems that us young kings need to take notes on when it comes to relationships w/ these young ladies we are dealing w/. Thank You and much applause to you Dr. Umar for this. You are definitely well needed 🫡 Salute!

He can get a little extreme sometimes, but I love his interviews...I can listen to him for hours.

Maaaaannn he broke down everything perfectly

This was a great interview! I very much so enjoyed it!

00:00 🚫 Casual sex shouldn't dismiss a person's worth in dating, especially based on race. 01:09 🎙 Dr. Umar Johnson, a certified school psychologist and Pan-Africanist, emphasizes the importance of historical context in understanding the challenges facing black relationships. 02:34 💡 The rise of single-parent households among African Americans is linked to economic disintegration rather than historical oppression. 07:20 💔 Dysfunction in black relationships is often rooted in unaddressed trauma, leading to reactive behaviors rather than healthy communication. 13:36 💰💏 Relationships driven solely by money and sex lack depth and sustainability, resembling more of a pleasure contract than a genuine connection. 18:06 🗣 Humility and effective communication are crucial for healthy relationships, allowing partners to understand each other's perspectives and needs without defensiveness. 19:43 💔 Fear of rejection often leads people to avoid verbalizing their feelings in relationships. 20:38 🧠 Psychological age matters in relationships as much as biological age, as past traumas can impact emotional maturity. 21:33 🗝 Conflict in relationships is inevitable and necessary for growth; avoiding disagreements is a trap. 21:46 🧠 Pain bodies, containing memories of negative experiences, influence behavior in relationships. 22:14 🤯 Living together reveals hidden aspects of a partner's personality and is essential before marriage. 25:39 💘 Love is unconditional, devoid of contracts or conditions; it's about selfless commitment to the other's well-being. 30:17 🔒 Building trust and safety is crucial for partners to open up about their traumas and vulnerabilities. 35:00 🧠 Childhood experiences, particularly with parents, significantly shape adult behaviors and relationship dynamics. 38:46 🏠 Living together exposes both partners' true selves, revealing habits and behaviors hidden during dating. 38:59 🏠 Cohabitation before pregnancy and marriage allows understanding of partner's habits and lifestyle. 39:53 💑 Relationship entails compromise and accountability, readiness for change is essential. 41:34 🚼 Unmet needs from childhood may affect relationships, seeking fulfillment from partners. 44:14 👑 Leadership styles in relationships vary, understanding desired leadership style is crucial. 45:46 🛠 Conditioned beliefs about men can hinder trust in relationships, impacting the ability to accept leadership. 49:42 🔐 Lack of honesty about polygamous tendencies in men leads to relationship misunderstandings. 54:29 🌍 Cultural differences influence perceptions of relationships and gender roles. 55:11 🤯 Fetishization of race can lead to degrading behavior within interracial relationships.

Dr Umar love this man The truth will set you free and heal you.

Successful married couples should also be willing to teach, encourage, and provide wisdom and advice to younger couples who are looking to get married ,or who have questions about relationships, love and marriage. Married couples must be transparent and willing to share the good as well as challenging aspects of married life. It can be difficult to take advice from someone who has never been married. Relationships and marriage require both individuals who are willing to work on their emotional, mental, and spiritual health. It is also important for married couples to share the difficult aspects, with discretion, with couples who has never had a healthy successful relationship. Compassion and empathy are also key elements to assisting couples and having healthy wholesome relationships.

Dr Umar as someone who has been accused of radical feminism, I have never in my life been or chased a married man nor do I care if women choose to willingly participate in polygamy. That’s the radical feminist you know. Majority of us have given up on men period.

You're speaking Truth Dr. Umar.. Thank you for letting us know for the Balck Community. This will make us a better people and community...❤

Dr. Umar is listening to Eckhart Tolle. That's a wonderful foundation. Thank you for mentioning it and using the language to help communicate the harshness of the pain body as black and brown people can relate. Dr. Umar is absolutely a necessary representative.

Yes this ticked me off I thought it was a new episode!!! They knew what they were doing!!

We want our Black Men to be ours Kings‼️ We are not getting younger and may have to abandon the idea of having A Solid Black Men ‼️

My my my my my Dr Umarrrrrr you hit the nail on the head ohhhh myyy gahhhhhhhhhh!!!! You have said quite a few things men have argued me up and down about THANK YOUUUUUUUU

WOW this just added 5 years to my physiological age. Thanks Doc!

I received my Hardly In Love Cards … thank you ☺️

I run a Faith-Based Counseling Center and multiple calls from interracial couples the white/ brown women desiring counseling to help understand the black men's involvement. These interracial messes are usually very high divorce also.

Up until 9:08 🔥!!! Just incredibly put and some really valid arguments I have never heard before this. Can’t wait for the rest.

An eye opener indeed!🎉 thank you so much for this. It's necessary and needed for understanding between men & women to try to get back on track. Thank you!

Wow. I have always loved Dr. Umar. He always breaks down very real issues. Great video

Preferences and physical attraction is also playing a big part in todays black relationships every woman chasing the very similar archetype of man and that man has options not ready to settle down so situationships and uncertainty in those types of relationships exist… too many women ready to have sex and kids with a man before real commitment and marriage

It’s the little things that makes the difference on how the relationship works but it also shows how much you care give or take you got to compromise

I learned so much from this conversation. Wow. Shout out to Dr.Umar!

Dang why y’all play with me like that? I thought this was a new interview 😩😩😩

The Bible gives the perfect definition of ❤love intellectual Gangster Professor Umar Johnson best psychiatrist ever from my hometown of Philadelphia Pennsylvania

Listening/watching from South Africa, wow Dr Umar you've literally put the truth on the table...

This interview is dope, Dr. Umar spittin on this one man. Powerful interview