How Modern Dating Became Such a Dumpster Fire (ft. Sadia Khan) 

It's so crazy to me, I see immature guys all over social media and hear about them often, but among the men I know in my personal life, I would recommend anyone of my girlfriends to date them. They're good men. Flawed men, but good. I don't know where all these shitty men are. Places I don't bother to go I guess.

Ikr

Thank you for this comment. I listen to people like this and the only thing I learn form it, is that they live in a completely different world than myself.

@@kausha7135 Places like bars and dating apps.

I believe, in a way, they’re falling internally the same trap that they’re trying to highlight and critique: being outwardly/extrinsically focussed. Except here that outward focus is materialising in assuming those who have visibility online - through use/engagement with social media, apps, whatever - is representative of everyone. So only the behaviour and trends of those very visibly online has any visibility and cache. It makes discussions like these pretty hard to connect to.

+successful. And then try to relate by "not having it all" in their early 20... no $*!t... 🫠

Just goes to show how out of touch they are with reality. Also, what they're saying may sound good in writting but when normal people like me put it to practice... Yeah best keep their advice to themselves.

what does either of their looks have to do with anything?

​​@@TaliAlba33they are circle jerking feminist talking points and the main guy Mark is trying to score brownie points like a good boy by being overly agreeable. Pretty pathetic

Mark and Sadia both based their choice decisions based on physical sexual attraction, then claimed they were looking for personality. Both expect everyone uses dating apps, and select through visual cues. The single guy focuses from the start with slower development of friendships in real life that leads to finding out traits they are attracted to. This is like marketing - telling you what they think you want to hear and selling difficult positions they never took (why do you think the single guy is single? It’s tough!) while denying the truth aspects. None of these people are “experts” in my opinion.

@@kinetic-cybernetic Am I wrong ?

@@kinetic-cybernetic Am I wrong ?

@@kinetic-cybernetic Podcast is an hour long and I replied 13 minutes ago. Of course I replied to the title you moose lol.

Yeah, in the past, it was just approaching someone with sincerity, speaking your mind, getting her number, and hopefully, she will respond well when you call 😊

No one ever needed dating advice

Much love, Sadia!

30:03 haraam! 😂 Sadia you're very cute

I was very impressed with how out-of-touch and bad your dating takes were. Did you pay to be on this podcast?

@@J31you're dead on arrival

@@DDCrp Did you just pull that out of a hat of random idioms?

And my perfect match has flaws, but I’ve learned to appreciate them. 3 years of marriage 💍

Beautiful

As some say internet causes such effect that opinion of minority makes it look like opinion of majority.... because the opinion of minor group is spread so much by the algorithm that people believe that its opinion of majority of people, even though outside the media, people have free will and decide to have their own opinion and have decent conversations. So maybe this way men are indoctrinated to be superficial, and find a superficial values, and women are indoctrinated to be superficial, and care only about materialism. As some say looking into mirror too often and checking the looks is also about materialism. As you stop obsessing about looks, stop being indoctrinated by media and corporations, who sell fake boobs and fake eyelashees, and for men fake muscles powders etc and start living freely, with ermpathy, compassion, humor, you will be attractive because of your personality.

She said it well 12 years old girls are conditionerd to have fake values so people should realize ita nd treach teenagers the real values.....People think capitalism is an excuse that teenagers are strugling withg values and mental health etc.

Nice. If someone says they don’t have flaws or you don’t think they have any, we have to dig deeper or just plain leave. No one is perfect and if we see them as that, it’s not going to end well.

If you've never been in the deep committed relationship they are talking about here, then you don't know what you're talking about and ultimately aren't making an informed decision. The reason few people talk about the "happily single" person is - as they said at the very begging of this episode - the data is self evident that people in committed relationships are far better off on several important metrics!

🎯🎯🎯💯✨

my small experience.....being happily single is often so far overrated. I ask myself, if you're doing well, why do you have to be single? Do these people have no needs that go beyond eating, sleeping, working, consuming, partying, playing PlayStation, or bingeing series? 🙂

@noazucar519 Firstly, because I take friends and family for granted and that's why I didn't mention them. Secondly: Because I don't experience the same kind of kisses, caresses, coziness, cuddling with each other and the same feelings with my family and friends as I do in a relationship. I'll be honest, even though I had good times when I was single, I was less happy in a relationship than I am today. Hardly anyone dares to say it. Everyone wants to comment as a “superhero”. Why give up all of this Relationship-Stuff? What is the benefit? I don't really understand these statements in millions of social-media-comments. Anyone who has to share/post/tell me everywhere "how happy they are as single" also has some concerns as to why they need so much external confirmation/likes for these sentences. Because they don’t really believe it themselves? I don't know 🙂

Very large difference in being happy by yourself and having someone who enhances what happiness you already have.

this is real man, thanks for writing

I can totally relate to this. I would get ghosted/ignored. I am in much better shape but still need to improve. I get more matches too and I am now a senior software engineer. I have a couple decent photos but most women on those apps are trash.

That’s because a man is supposed to be a protector so spaghetti arms and legs are a biological turn off to a woman.

Both sides are important, and denying this is the worst advice we've been programmed with.

Most men don't realize that being 30+ is attractive to women.

I suppose that stabbing just fell out of the sky without any motivation on your end?

😂

😂

😂😂😂

I would give a thumbs up, but you are currently at 69.

AND you need to be hot. If you're not hot: you're going to die alone.

I don't think meeting in real life is any better today. Dating in person feels like a cattle auction . The men stand around like castrated cattle, staring into space, unable to make eye contact or form a sentence. They are waiting for women to choose them, drag them through life and to give them orders they can follow because they're unable to make any decisions on their own today.

but what if you are bald

solid advice.

@@krikydixThere are books on salsa history, even novels like Mambo Kings, Mambo in aChinatown., etc. You Tube has hoards of salsa instruction videos. There are many salsa &/or other Cuban dance styles instruction & performance vidéos.

Capitalism destroy everything...

So sad

Yes and hyper individualistic.

Everytime I try to listen to what she's saying I notice her attempting to tell men what to think and believe, stating random things as if they were actually factual. I just wonder, who actually listens to this her? Maybe a primary school boy

@@kelleraltidor4097 Couldn't agree more. All i heard was cope from her and a lot of talk. She has no idea how men work and she's talking a to a happily married man (a rare minority) and a single dude who has fuck you status. This woman needs to spend an hour with Myron from fresh and fit.

Shes a professional psychologist..

😂😂😂😂😂

Porn is what men use to get by, not strive for. Average women don't want average men.

as a woman, that is so hot. You're gonna do great! Keep going

😂 that's the best way to win at life. Listening to some 40 y o wman who, for so,e weird reasons thinks she can teach men how to be men, accompanied by some dudes in their 40s who married their wives for vibes and couldn't get the girls they wanted.

The problem of dating can be also caused by phone and tech addiction, chasing the dopamine. Dr. Anna Lembke explains it well, the phone addiction caused people to seek only pleasure and avoid pain. But both plesaure and pain are importnat for brain development, and mental health because both are in same place of brain. and "pleasure and pain" are cooperating together You can not have pleasure without pain, they are part of the same brain. We see it with athletes, they seek pain in order to get pleasure, its healthy form of pain. Muscians also seek pain, in order to get pleasure. Both plesaure and pain are rewarded by a dopamine. But the phone addiction makes people think that we should chase only pleasure and avoid commitment, it causes anxiety and deepression, lack of skills etc. If you in dating field chase only pleasure, and avoid the healthy form of pain, healthy commitment, and building a relationships then people get anxious and depressed, because the receptors in brain that are supposed to experience the healthy pain, are not stimulated....they are stimulated only with pleasure reward. if you stimulate only pleasure reward receptors, it leads to depression and lack of motivation. In sport you have to chase some pain in order to get the dopmanine reward system in healthy way.

still do it after 2 months? that's what I thought

@@alyzak.8997 BULL$HiT

I feel that, man. I’m sorry.

That's okay man, many men are like this now. I'm happy to stay single and childless for the rest of eternity.

Don't give up brothers. Stay strong!

Dont give up !!!!!

​@@danahalenezi6713What are we giving up? After a certain point it's not worth it and if you're good by yourself, just be by yourself.

I understand the pain of letting go of someone you love. I went through a similar situation when my 12-year relationship ended. I couldn't just let her go, so I did everything I could to win her back. I sought the help of a spiritual counselor, and their guidance ultimately helped me to bring her back into my life.

Amazing! How did you find a spiritual counselor, and how can I contact them?"

His name is Fatherabulu, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can help restore your relationship with your ex.

Thanks for sharing this valuable information. I just looked him up online and I'm impressed.

@@gracecoxR hold on bro, good things will come to you over time. This latter is the greatest healer I know.

This lady is a money hungry covert narcissist

Thank you so much for your comment! I couldn't agree more! Her talking about narcissists was the moment in this interview when I cringed and thought to myself, "Girl, you are lucky you never had a family member who is narcissistic." Sometimes, people truly are recovering from the narcissistic abuse and they have been victimized and she's telling them to shut up and suffer quietly. I felt statements on this matter were ignorant and dismissive.

​​@@esazonova1every person are not expert in everything or they might never have those experiances and everything is not black and white so we should absorbe good one and discard bad one But I understand you're take and I also don't agree on everything they say or their privilege in life but that doesn't mean I will discard all the information I will only discard someone opinion if someone pattern seems net negative in society/social media

its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back

Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?

Her name is shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive

It is not clear why she decided to end the relationship. Did you discuss with her why she wanted the relationship to end? If she could leave you knowing how you feel about her, your feelings for her will not be the reason she comes back to you (if ever). Regardless of the outcome, you have to find contentment within yourself regardless of whether you are in a relationship or not.

TY!

Just curious, when you say older what age gap are you considering

@@wmckie4486 15~30 years difference, which doesn't work for everyone but it depends on common interests. my ex was around 50 in my early 20s.

I never had a relationship that involved finance, other than maybe paying a small restaurant bill once in a time and even that we did alternate.

She sounds like she thinks she’s a boss chick. Pigeon dodged a bullet

Finance, Trust fund, 6'5, blue eyes

Finance bros are the worst to date lets be real

😅😅😅

I feel the same about Mark. Whether you agree with "red-pill advice or not (for the record, I do not) there is one thing they say which is true and is backed up by the small amount of dating site analytics that are publicly available (the now famous okcupid chart) 10-20% of men are doing 80-90% of the dating. Mark was in that 10-20%. Most of what he says about men is relevant to that 10-20%. the guy who's been on Tinder for 3 years with only one match ever who subsequently ghosted him for being 5'7" isn't objectifying women in the way these 2 talk about (likely he is in a different way, but not the way these two talk about), they'd be happy just to talk to one.

@@Daniel-kx4sy As a 5`6" guy with virtually zero success on dating apps I agree with you 100%. It´s not that I´m a saint, but their entire discussion just didn´t feel relevant to my life at all. And I suspect many girls will feel the same when looking at Sadia, just as the OP pointed out.

True. She looks like Anissa Kate. A porn star.

I get weird vibes from her too. She seems very narcissistic like she has all the answers.

A lot of these podcast people are the same, Jordan peterson, Joe rogan, etc. They have some good and meaningful messages, but sprinkle a heap of their personal agenda and beliefs everywhere. She does make some very good points, while some are just opinions or flat out wrong. Just take the good and leave the bad.

It’s funny cause Mark got his start as a mens dating coach, but he seems out of touch with the average man. When women talk about men in dating they talk about the 10-20% that all of them are dating and not the 80-90% that spend most of their lives ignored and alone. Mark does the same.

Is it that much of a burden on your life that you feel you can not function or be successful unless you've had a certain amount of sex? Like, what's the number? Have 5 sex and then you'll be open to the advice of being personally successful enough?

Regardless the amount of sex any man gets or not, I think the purpose is not to obsess over it even if nowadays most people, women included, do not have as much sex as before. In my opinion, the point the podcasters are trying to get across is that one should not base most of one's satisfaction as a man on sex. Rather, one must recreate the relation of masculinity to sex and, by doing so, one also changes some of the meanings that being a man carries both to the individual and other people.

@@JamesRogers233 Are suggesting that there is no link between sex, love, affection, dating (all related) an well-being? Are you really patronizing men for wanting to have a well-rounded quality life in all areas? I don't understand, don't we encourage men to open up more and talk about their feelings. Are they only allowed to have certain feelings that fit well into your worldview? Can I get your contact info so next time I have a feeling I can call you to check that it's ok first?

I guess I just feel it's nuanced... in a long term relationship maybe it won't get prioritized but there's a limit... and when you're a younger guy you can't control it as much because the urge is fing strong in some if us. But some men get in sexless relationships and then yeah if they get out they want more. When you're getting some it's like 20% important, when you're not, it grows to 90%. And changes with age

Unfortunately, she moves back and forth between the UK and Dubai. Here in the UK is one of the places where the title is not as protected as it is in the US and many other developed nations. Specialities within it are, but not the baseline title. This is likely why she calls it 'SadiaPsychology' rather than using 'psychologist', as it's a handy legal dodge. But you're right, hers is just an opinion. A poorly formed, dishonest one at that. As she's been busted for using fake diploma mill qualifications on her old website, absolute ripoff costs for phone-call only 'consultations', and highly unpleasant and abusive on social media to any disagreement or criticism.

😂😂

I think it’s one of those things they have to do for funding. YT has been waging a successful demonetization campaign against all the good channels lol

@@FirstLast-mj7ptwhat is with all of the ads and now each creator is running their own sponsor ads.. feels like half the time I’m anxiously trying to skip ads

There is but it’s not in these ads

Good point

I love your attitude. All the best to you.

Deal with the overwhelming narcisism that infected the world en masse? Or avoid the hassle? You can see where the answer is...

You’re on social media right now 😂

@@sirdiealot53 the irony is real...

God. Marry me xD

You are lacking knowledge. Shes brilliant

@@farmerfox99 sure. Thanks 👍🏼

She is blatently stupid about dating, Dating isnt one size fits all approach. Just be masculine and dont find a hoe, its as simple. But nah, this woman wanna make it look complicated so people perceive her as an intellectual

the exploit remark really put me off, too. thank you

@@cupxcak3119 apparently we lack knowledge and she's brilliant

Same here😂

you have got a right guy then... lol

Mark needs to start a dating app dedicated to people that follow his content 😅

Same dude

@@FairyLiquid69 nice idea though

Seriously, see the reality, she is telling the truth that's all

@@HuangCheng-l7g Her advice to women was to take mens money. This is not a meme we should spread in society.

I believe we need to get off the dating and social media apps and back into personal interactions.

2024 is a lot worse than what the dating market was in 2015, but it was still pretty bad in 2015, you got pretty lucky

nah, I think Drew had plenty to say if Mark would have had the courtesy to include him in the conversation, which he consistently chose not to.

Maybe some eye contact and a smile to each other in advance help. If this doesn't happen, the person is probably not interested in that situation (or in you).

this is, for me, one of the worst affects of social media. people just gives a weird look. but the catch is you shouldn't prevent yourself from getting those crazy looks. because among the crowd there will be another person just like you who is also wanting to meet people in real life.

I want to meet people in person too, but I am afraid of them. 🤷‍♀️ I wish I wasn't.

Well, the problem with meeting a total stranger at a grocery store lets say, is because you now have to consider the first date carefully. She will likely demand meeting in a public place (implying that she does not trust you), and she will often expect dinner or drinks which you as the man will pay for (implying that she wants to be compensated for her time she is spending with you). Not a good position to be in, and as a man you are off to a bad start. Meeting at the grocery store or meeting on an app yields the same results.

I can understand why women are afraid of being approached in public. Or anyone would be afraid of that or at least weirded out a little. I just think it’s sad. And a lame effect of social media and online dating. Online probably FEELS safer. But now we are seeing scams and abuse and very awful things from men who met women online. Also catfishing has existed for everyone since online dating started. So I guess whatever makes people feel safe is fine… but meeting a dude online doesn’t make them less a murderer or anything else. If Ted Bundy were around now he’d be swiping around on dating apps rather than approaching people in real life. The best you could do online before meeting someone is a background check really, and that’s not much. My point is it’s a false sense of security.

Agreed. They liked feeling “morally superior” in this podcast more than they like accurately describing dating dynamics. That’s because they believe it will elevate their status, which will get them connection.

True

Have the same impression about Sadia, just Mark I don't know yet, haven't finished that podcast. Sadia feels like she's very correct when she stays on track of what science says, but beyond that she's highly opinionated with an opinion closer to disney than reality. She also has immediately shadowbanned me when I posted criticism on her channel. I wasn't insulting or anything, she just didn't like her opinions being questioned.

To a degree, you don't want to be the 50 something at the frat party. And women do reach there emotional maturity around 21, so when she's 19 when you are well above 30 this is a signal of insecurity or acting like an old creep.

@@nightmareTomek yea, she seemed like a person who would do that. But Mark also seems to be heavily influenced by confirmation bias I feel (also in other podcasts). It's cool for him, if he's happy with his marriage. But why does it seem like he wants to sell it to everyone now, ignoring the majority of negative outcomes? Maybe it's to validify his own decisions.

100 years ago and before, people at 18 years of age were adults already because people did stuff with their own hands, women cooked, almost all guys repaired stuff all day day after day, no they dont cook, most are on offices all day, you dont learn to be an adult if you dont do stuff, if things dont cost you effort personally, the 18 year old being an adult is a standard thats not accurate to today's young people because they act like children because as I said, they dont do manual labor and they dont learn values like patience, discipline, etc, hence, they are still children.

When they behave like an Adult...

I think some people never seem to reach adulthood; sad, but true.

Yeah she spends way too much time venting out her frustration that men find young women more attractive, like we care that she is still early in development of intelligence, if we go back in history before porn and social media i can promise you men did not have a disgust reflex for 19-year old women.

@@R0d_1984 most women today never will, so what is the reward for going older, less fertile and high body count?

Yeah. Unwinnable spot for him. Just look who speaks 95% of the time. Mark and Sadia. Poor Drew was put in a corner and talked maybe 5% of the time. The setting havily favorites Mark and Sadia. They have the comfort to speak from a "teacher's" point of view - confidently giving advices away. While Drew, no matter if he likes it or not, has to speak from a "student's" point of view - constatly having to expose his weaknes and inferiority. Not sure if it is helpful for him. Sadia mocks guys for having younger escorts but at least they can feel like men. How is Drew's position any better here? The poor guy has to listen to some advices like he was a 15 years old child or something. How can he feel like a man in such setting? This is also something that Mark does NOT seem to get. He is more mature partialy BECAUSE he was sleeping with many girls in his 20s.

He even commented at the end that they didn't get anywhere with him lol

Something I see with many married people: They look down on single guys and have a lot "advice" which usually is completely useless. They have a lot of neat explanations why you are single: You are too insecure, lazy, selfish, etc. Honestly I am kind of sick of it. It´s difficult enough to be deprived of companionship for that many years. I don´t need to be insulted for it on top of that.

@@rakodoza7601 Also, how many guys are really sleeping with escorts? You can tell from her behavior, which kind of men she usually interacts with.

@@hermann5347 yeah, like you said - no compassion. What is probably running through Drew's head there is: "I know it goddamnit, I'm trying ok!". These advices despite being more or less perfectly fine logically-wise, on an emotional level, feel like someone was just pointing at things and expecting immediate results no matter what. Magically. And then Drew, after this session, will go visit his parents and listen to the exact same advices, feeling like a child yet again. 🙃 That's why if I were the one giving advices to Drew I would actually say "do the opposite Sadia said and get an escort". It's not a plan "A", but at least a solid plan "B". And certainly better than plan "C" which is being educated all day. Another good advice would be - hang out with other singles so at least you can feel equal.

The first time round she popped up everywhere, she was repeatedly abusive to anyone who didn't fawn over her on her socials, let alone sent any criticism. She's an unpleasant person, and a total fraud.

You look too old for being in online dating anymore

Sorry for adding a king post on your comment, but I agree with you. I usually like Sadia’s advice but think she was wrong on this issue because she had a problem with older men and younger women, yet didn’t have the same problem with older wealthy women and their pursuit of toy boys for pleasure and to show off to other women. She was also pretty one-sided in her view of older men being the ones taking advantage of younger women. As an older guy, I’ve lost count of the number of younger women (even 19 years old) who express an interest in me as an older man. They are pursuing what they want and are pretty aggressive at it re more mature of buys their age, so crave maturity. They’re also bored of the Beta males their age that society has helped create. When entry see anyone Alpha, they’re interested, even if not for the long term. I’ve never dated that young, but when I speak with younger women, there’s always a few years of maturity you can add to their age, that boys her age can’t match. So a 19 year old can be as emotionally mature as a a 25-29 year old, IMO.

​@@RandomUser25122 Thank you and I agree. Yes there are logical reasons young women like older men. The relationship may have its challenges specific to that situation but if they are both well-adjusted and thriving, who's to complain? My daughter is now 21 and she is attracted to much older men -- some of her coworkers. She's attractive herself. I am so grateful that for the most part these guys are not taking advantage of the situation but usually just enjoy her company and keep it at a friendship level. I think men are just as wary of getting involved with a girl who's immature as women are wary of getting involved with a man who's exploitative.

​@@RandomUser25122"Alpha"?.... Jesus Christ, get over yourself. A real "Alpha" doesn't need to advertise.

I agree completely, as an older man who finds young women attractive. Why shame the age difference? No good reason. Mark thinks that an older man dates a young hot girl to show off his friends that "I am the cool guy now". That's nonsense. Both Sadia and Mark are off on 60% of the points and correct on 40%.

@@rayrwyr My husband was somewhat embarrassed about the age difference. It was important to him that I was well-spoken and levelheaded, then his family could understand there was a deeper bond.

She isn't, she's fake. She has a Bachelors in education, and she did a debated Masters in the UK (in terms of validating it from the universities records). Over here in England it's one of the very few countries where you don't need to have a clinical PhD to call yourself a Psychologist (you do need one to have a formal speciality title, like 'Child Psychologist', which is why she won't legally use one of those). Consequently she'd bounce between the UK and Dubai a lot. She was also really awful, and petty, to any criticism on her social media - calling anyone who slightly disagreed with something losers, and making posts about taking pride in 'not being nice to loser critics etc'. A couple of practicing Psychologists noticed a lot of her BS, called her out and looked her up. Her old website had certificates from a online diploma mill called 'The Centre for Excellence', that anyone can get in varies avenues "Psychology" (that also has paid courses in crystal healing, and astrology etc - pay £150, 12 weeks, done). She'd also advertise one-on-one sessions on her site at prices higher than the most esteemed and qualified private clinics in Harley St. in London; these would offer no video interaction, just voice; and her IG would claim she could do in 1 session what others could do in 20. Which is of course ludicrously unethical. She more recently ran from all this critique, as she popped up on a lot of popular podcasts in related spaces (Modern Wisdom etc etc), saying some stuff that seemed initially ok, but had the same giveaways of narcissism and impossible claims, and brought attention to the stuff above. So she dropped off for a while, overhauled her site massively, and now has her YT channel podcast. Sadly, decent podcasts that should know better are either having her back, or going on her podcast, so now she's back doing the rounds again with bad, unqualified advice.

She has always hit my bullshit button

I had a similar experience where I met someone online before seeing his face and when we eventually did meet iin person I was just...disappointed. I tried for about 2 years to get over how little physical attraction (and even repulsion) I felt towards him because I felt like we were compatible and I liked his personality. People often say you grow into attraction and I never really did. It felt like a personal failing and I got angry at myself so many times cause I couldn't just make myself attracted to him. Eventually I had to give up for my own sanity. We're still friends and hang out every so often.

@@pridefall3304 -- are you pure platonic friends now?

​@@pridefall3304 He is a clown for being friends with someone who is repulsed by him, and you are fake for hiding it from him, yet pretending you like him. This is why men should never be friends with women: women lie, are fake yet use male friends that are attracted to them, as free slaves. Men please, dont accept friendship from any woman you are sexually attracted to.

You can change those core beliefs. Stop blaming your mother.

She is a covert narcissist

Pure BS.

Very true.

Physical attractiveness is super important. Sorry but for men it is the fundamental thing that will get them interested in someone. Yes, there are exceptions but tell me how often have you heard "oh that girl is so super interesting, she travels a lot like me and is super passionate about XYZ"? My experience is that sadly, most women are lacking anything that would make them stand out in personality. It's not that they can't, it's simply they are often not incentivized to stand out like men have to. It was always for men to be that super passionate person that would grab a girls heart etc.. As a result, a lot of women can only rely on looks and it is a depressing thing for everyone.

BTW, I myself had to break up with a really nice girl because I thought I could overlook physical attractiveness since we communicated quite well. Turned out I just couldn't. It made her feel miserable and unwanted, despite my best attempts at making her happy through other means (which ironically only made things worse since she couldn't "repay" me and it made her feel inadequate). I could live out a sexless life (as a super late bloomer you simply learn to deal with it) but for her it was a pain that I couldn't handle to see. She deserved better. It was a valuable lesson - if you can't honestly say that your woman is beautiful in your eyes, it is SHE that will be unhappy in the relationship, not you.

@@DrAhzek what a honest answer, and yes u r right she deserves better. Made a similar mistake…

⁠Wow, that sounds awful. So sorry for you. So what was it about her that you didn’t find attractive? Apart from her being a nice person?

Nah, it's the ease of having choices and feeling that people are disposable or something.

@@Photik That too

@@trent9872 Amen

Exactly

Right!?! Sadia was sitting with her arms crossed the second half while she was more open in the beginning. It seemed kinda weird

thank you!

This woman's credentials are not real, she's not a psychologist. I'm a little shocked Mark even had her on

@@nostrilsflared3635 Honestly, the more she talked the more astounded I was by what little she supposedly knew about human beings in general

I say since the inception of the internet...Lol.

Agree

Yessss

@@dennydude3737 This. ^ Although smart phones put that internet in the palm of everyone's hand.

I've been bad about craving "chemistry" first and not trusting the attraction stage, skipping over it. Therefore I just never date cause I crave that secure connection from the get-go. I wish I could figure out how to fix this situation of mine. It puts me in a lot of bad cycles.

​@@thecasualreviewer2148 same

Same. I am also a common sense Capricorn, btw. So, there was once this shy and mysterious Virgo guy.....LOL

Yeah you're gonna cheat on him for sure. Give it a couple of years when you sound more miserable

@@ghosthusler Projecting much? lol Tired of hustling ghosts because you can't get with a real person?

The reason being is both persons become more ridged in their likes and dislikes, expectations, beliefs....ext. these this come with getting older. You tend to know yourself better.

@@JaysonT1 yeah, I guess there are pros and cons to knowing yourself! 🤣

1:00:13 Since her question focused on advising men whose main worry is losing sexual interest while focusing only on one partner aka being in a monogamous relationship, Mark said deprioritize sex because the guy in that relationship is way too focused on sex must stay good forever with his partner which creates stress fueled by fear and disappointment if his fear becomes reality. Nothing is guaranteed to stay the same way forever, matter of fact everything is subject to change (Buddhism). In this case not only her hormones, desires, priorities and body, but the guy’s hormones, desires, priorities and body too. Shift or change doesn’t always mean that it’s a negative thing.

Ok... So are you saying deprioritize sex doesn't necessarily mean resign yourself to a worse sex life... But it means don't let it be the only thing that matters in a relationship? That would make sense But even in the way it's gets spoken about generally and the context of this podcast it feels like there is underlying assumption that sex gets worse in long term relationships and my naive (and perhaps wrong) belief is it should get better

@@bubbastylin 1) Yes to your first question. 2) ​​⁠It doesn’t necessarily mean that sex will get worse later on. That is a possibility that we can’t rule out. I wouldn’t say it gets worse. Maybe less frequent. Generally as people age, their sexual desire decline, or when they have kids, priorities and energy levels shift. But I recommend you to watch this segment from the movie The Female Brain based on a book written by a neuropsychiatrist. I hope this will answer your question. Watch the link below from 3:46-4:08 ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-x_kPtYHhHsc.htmlsi=_uahXW92-ZC8Z7VT

Advice to men who are in a committed long term relationship and having low s3x: F*ck deprioritization of s3x! Your partner has a low s3x drive *for you*. She lost her interest in s3x with *you*. But she has not lost it in general. This happens to women who feel too comfortable, secure, safe, and certain in a committed relationship. She knows you are not going anywhere. Note that women are s3xually maximally aroused when there is uncertainty, challenge, anxiety and fear. She must fear that she may lose you to her competition (a potentially younger hotter woman). Her fear of losing you, challenge to win you, anxiety of failing to keep you are what shoots up her s3x drive for you to the sky. Without those elements, she feels no s3x drive. This is the exact reason why all married women lose all interest in s3x with their nice guy dedicated devoted committed husbands. In fact these married women feel so bored that they cheat on their husbands with random azzhole dudes because those random dudes do not give a rat's azz about her.

GOD FORGOT TO GIVE WOMEN A SEX DRIVE. NO AMOUNT OF SELF-HELP VIDEOS WILL CHANGE THAT.

I think the men around you are terrified of the headaches you'll give them.

Correct take - she's a fraud (fake psychologist, been busted for it which is why she disappeared for a while after getting popular the first time). She has several of the narcissistic traits she accuses others of, and is 100% doing the round 2 on any high profile podcast that will have her to raise her profile, and get income for giving dangerous unqualified 'advice'.

Society is not black and white it's mixture of both and we should learn from everyone and everything (That preditor guy you are talking about is nothing compared to what I have seen but I got your point) If we only listen to someone who sound please to hear and say everything we believe in that becomes polarising and we cannot learn anything I am not saying they are good or bad but sure are privileged people in society and some of them are polarising and have bad impact that's the reason we should listen to them for our own growth and to uplift our self from the bubble we create for ourselves🙂

Agree 100%! The whole topic about younger women and older men was completely driven by her insecurities and I am extremely disappointed in how Mark handled it. He pandered to her and kissed her feet. Mark has addressed younger women and older men before and the outcome was a complete 180 to this. I'm a huge Mark Manson "fan" but my thoughts towards him have taken some damage from this video.

Mark is trying to convince himself that he's "really happy" now that he's married & monogamous. We all know he lusts for variety...& is sexually frustrated now as a married man - in direct proportion to how faithful (monogamous) he actually is.

how can she work in instututions in london if she had fake qualifcations stop lying to yourself you fool

She’s explained that on a recent podcast. Stop being a jealous freak

Totally agree. Two guys are slavishly approving everything the female is vomiting out. Ridiculous waste if time. They need to have learned human nature first.

That’s what happens when they bring on a fake psychologist

TRANSALATION- IM AN UNATTRACTIVE WOMAN WHO GOT TRIGGERED BY HER BEAUTY SO HAD TO TRY AND FIND A REASON TO DISCREDIT HER. she was a psychologist at my sons school you cant fake it in professionak environments and her credenitals are online

Absolutely correct, she's fake. She has a Bachelors in education, and she did a debated Masters in the UK (in terms of validating it from the universities records). Over here in England it's one of the very few countries where you don't need to have a clinical PhD to call yourself a Psychologist (you do need one to have a formal speciality title, like 'Child Psychologist', which is why she won't legally use one of those). Consequently she'd bounce between the UK and Dubai a lot. She was also really awful, and petty, to any criticism on her social media - calling anyone who slightly disagreed with something losers, and making posts about taking pride in 'not being nice to loser critics etc'. A couple of practicing Psychologists noticed a lot of her BS, called her out and looked her up about a year ago. Her old website had certificates from a online diploma mill called 'The Centre for Excellence', that anyone can get in varies avenues "Psychology" (that also has paid courses in crystal healing, and astrology etc - pay £150, 12 weeks, done). She'd also advertise one-on-one sessions on her site at prices higher than the most esteemed and qualified private clinics in Harley St. in London; these would offer no video interaction, just voice; and her IG would claim she could do in 1 session what others could do in 20. Which is of course ludicrously unethical. She more recently ran from all this critique, as she popped up on a lot of popular podcasts in related spaces (Modern Wisdom etc etc), saying some stuff that seemed initially ok, but had the same giveaways of narcissism and impossible claims, and brought attention to the stuff above. So she dropped off for a while, overhauled her site massively, and now has her YT channel podcast. Sadly, decent podcasts that should know better are either having her back, or going on her podcast, so now she's back doing the rounds again with bad, unqualified advice.

@@rukicowgal1 Actual translation of your comment: I watched this and liked it, and can't separate my opinions from my identity, so have to project my own insecurities via ad hominem onto someone else who exercised some scepticism - and did some research - when they found that something felt off. She's been fully busted as having fake credentials, and it's only in the UK where she could call herself a psychologist, as we're one of the very few countries where don't need a PhD or a clinical qualification to do so. If she worked in that capacity in a school, it's because her one seemingly legit qualification is a Bachelor degree in education, which in conjunction with the UK law on using the title of 'Psychologist' would allow her to work at that level. But she realised there's far more money and prestige in grifting people out of money for one-on-one sessions for extortionate rates via phone call; and now its growing her YT channel after a few months of ducking a lot of heat.

You are right. Mark is doing age difference shaming. Fu*k that.

It also started when women didn't have rights and were considered property. Child brides were a thing back in that time. I would like to think we have grown since that time.

​@@lahicks9773Why do you care what 2 other adults are doing with their lives? Frankly, it's none of your concern. If it is working for those two people, leave them alone. So sorry the rest of the world doesn't live up to your standards.

@@themacocko6311 It's not just 2 people, they're spreading their messages through the media and influencing others. If they spread misinformation, it becomes a problem.

By the way, when I was in school, girls were saying that they want exclusively older guys. That's never being shamed, only that men want younger girls.

I understood that reference.

Mark is also biased.

She’s also a fake psychologist. She made up her degree

M. Scott Peck is overly religious and puritan and only approves of certain types of people and highlights statistics that support his worldview

Any research by Scott Peck is going to be about 50 years out of date. The literature on marriage and long term relationships is robust.

@@IAmMarkMansonWhere is your research?

You don't deserve her

Nice!!

@@goddessvibes08 I know. But i'm 100% willing to spend all my life doing my best to deserve her :)

@@crayonnnnnnn didn't expect the ownership 👍 take care

If you pedestalize her too much, she will leave you.

According to the internet she most surely does.

She has her license on her site

Exactly!!

Who's "we"...?

You must be a miserable person, if you could do it. Why don’t you start a podcast and try gaining millions of views 😂😂

they work better statistically in that if arranged marriage is all you know, it makes no sense to go for a divorce. How fulfilled / happy people are in an arranged marriage, that's going to be a much tougher thing to prove.