Codependency and Abandonment Fears | Tips and Strategies for Enhancing Self-Esteem and Relationships

Подписаться 407 тыс.

Просмотров 224 тыс.

50% 1

Codependency and Abandonment Fears | Tips and Strategies for Enhancing Self-Esteem and Relationships
Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Qualified Clinical Supervisor. She received her PhD in Mental Health Counseling from the University of Florida in 2002. In addition to being a practicing clinician, she has provided training to counselors, social workers, nurses and case managers internationally since 2006 through AllCEUs.com Codependency and Abandonment Fears | Enhancing Self-Esteem and Relationships
📢SUBSCRIBE and click the BELL to get notified when new videos are uploaded.
💲 Counseling CEUs www.allceus.com/member/cart/i...
Unlimited CEUs $59 based on these videos at allceus.com for social work, counseling, marriage and family therapy, addiction counseling, case management, pastoral counseling and more.
Join this channel to get access to perks:
/ @docsnipes
CEUs/OPD/CPD Hours are available for this presentation at AllCEUs. CEUs are available here: (This podcast is part of of a series that makes up this course)
#codependency #abandonment #relationshipskills
Want to listen to it as a podcast instead? Subscribe to Counselor Toolbox Podcast
Also check out our other podcasts, Happiness Isn't Brain Surgery and Addiction Counselor Exam Review
AllCEUs provides multimedia counselor education and CEUs for LPCs, LMHCs, LMFTs and LCSWs as well as #addiction counselor precertification training and continuing education.
Live, Interactive Webinars ($5)
Unlimited Counseling CEs for $59
Specialty Certificates starting at $89 including
AllCEUs courses are accepted in most states because we are approved as an education provider for NAADAC, the States of Florida and Texas Boards of Social Work and Mental Health/Professional Counseling, the California Consortium for Addiction Professionals and Professions.
#codependency #abandonment #relationships #counselingskills #mentalhealth alanon codependents anonymous 12 step coda

Опубликовано:

25 окт 2018

Ссылка:

Скачать:

Готовим ссылку...

Добавить в:

Мой плейлист

Посмотреть позже

Комментарии : 284

@DocSnipes 9 месяцев назад

👌More videos can be found on this topic at: ru-vid.com/group/PLcB3trehXswh9zC9xVkAJekUGA1DwXyC9&si=lH_VvbHGc2T8C6WN ❤️Self help activities and worksheets and concierge coaching with Dr. Snipes can be accessed at DocSnipes.com 👍Online Courses for Continuing Education (CEU, OPD, CPD) and Substance Abuse Counselor Certification

@LonjeMarie7 2 года назад

I was in a very unhealthy abusive relationship as a result of therapy I learned about codependency ,and for two people to stay in a unhealthy codependent relationship they both have to have abandonment issues . Through my faith , and addressing and solving my abandonment issues I became much healthier and they gave me the strength to walk away. If I did it with all the obstacles I had to face anyone can. I am much happier now and much healthier!

@DocSnipes 2 года назад

Thanks for watching and commenting.

@abhijeetaanand2334 Год назад

How did you deal with it? I am struggling with codependency

@msharic85 Год назад

How did u solve abandonment issues?

@willcooke1789 2 года назад

This genuinely peeled back the onion for the codependent parts of myself. Figuring out why certain relationships have not worked for me and exactly why/how they grew to become toxic when I didn’t understand before is lifting a huge weight off of me. At my core I really want to heal and just Love healthily and this just helped so much. This is a gift from God, Thank you so much.

@DocSnipes 2 года назад

Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.

@cathyduggar6545 2 года назад

To grow happier, one needs to replace their pessimism, resentments, bad emotions and memories with new memories...GOOD experiences that form good FEELINGS, because it's actually the emotions/feelings that are making us encode a memory, is what I heard last night. THATS THE REASON for remembering so much bad stuff, the real emotions plus survival instinct says, hey, hold on to and remember this, it will save u from it happening again.

@ShivaDagade 2 месяца назад

@@cathyduggar6545औरौ औरौ व दोन ते पाच😅😅😅😅😅

@MsAachapman 3 года назад

I am amazed by how many of the signs for abandonment issues line up to red flags of an abusive relationships and domestic violence. Sounds like many abusers are dealing with abandonment issues... which makes sense.

@kcasehassan9091 2 года назад

Totally; good point. The more I think about it, the more it makes total sense

@stanleymaestas5441 2 года назад

Yep, I found out through lisa romano life coach I suffer from codependency. I'm currently healing myself from it.

@anthonyiacobucci3652 2 года назад

Pretty much all of them are

@dotdashdotdash 2 года назад

don’t make excuses for abusers; adults are 100% responsible for their behavior & their history is no excuse.

@Saritabanana 2 года назад

@@dotdashdotdash It's not an excuse. It's an explanation

@rachelraja1032 3 года назад

I believe I'm codependent due to toxic environment abuse from family initially. Father left and mother was damaged taking it all out on me. I was fostered in a few families. After that, because my brain was trained to be that way, I entered a toxic and unsuccessful marriage ending in divorce. I'm now 45 and trying to fix this on my own. I may or may not be single for the rest of my life but I want true happiness within first. To be happy is independence and freedom. I forgive my abusers and am ready to go forward. I want to fix this.. Thank you for this video.

@DocSnipes 3 года назад

Thank for sharing. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.

@jamesmitchell6288 2 года назад

God will take it. He knows what you need. I will pray for you.

@rachelraja1032 2 года назад

@@jamesmitchell6288 thank you🙏

@kweenofdasouf1632 2 года назад

@karenmininni4962 2 года назад

My father was suddenly killed in a car accident and following his death I was unable to healthily attach to either my mom or older sister. Now in my older years I find codependency has progressed. I was never able to connect early abandonment/attachment trauma with my codependency issues. I cannot describe how grateful I am for these videos which connect these issues to each other and bring clarity and healing.

@DocSnipes 2 года назад

Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.

@DocSnipes 2 года назад

My condolences on your loss.

@tracycorrea379 3 года назад

I need a therapist who has this depth of education.

@DocSnipes 3 года назад

Thanks for watching. Are you in TN or FL? Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.

@jacquelynkennedy4568 3 года назад

Im also looking for therapy and I’m in fl

@FightingforGold 2 года назад

I think one of the most difficult things to conquer is meeting the needs of others, because my needs were RARELY met. Having my own children and learning a lot, I have grown and become better, but I do wish I could have done things with more ease and enjoyment, instead of always analyzing “what’s the healthy response?”. One thing I can say is that I was never cruel to my children as my parents were to me, and I always showed them tremendous praise and love. They have had a much better childhood than I had(MUCH BETTER), but as I learned to parent myself it was difficult to parent them as effectively as I wish I had. Still improving every day....

@elisabethcrokaerts1980 Год назад

I understand you completely. I wish you feel utterly loved understood and whole. 🧡🙏

@lisaariottiart 2 года назад

Holy Crap --- this explains EVERYTHING in a nut shell. Im almost traumatized by listening.

@DocSnipes 2 года назад

Thanks so much for watching.

@Mindsetolympics 2 года назад

Literally cried watching because things in my life started popping up and realizing why I isolate or my interactions with ppl are the way they are…

@djjustice3244 2 года назад

Well MAYBE SELF CARE CAN BE GETTING YOURSELF THERAPY SAYS DJ...🙏💗💞💞💗🔥💚💛💗🔥💜💘💖💋💖💓💖🥀🕯🥀🕯💝HAPPY HALLOWEEN 💝💝💝💝🔥🙏💗💘💖💖💖💌

@djjustice3244 2 года назад

@@Mindsetolympics AWARENESS IS 1ST STEP TO GET HELP XOXO💋🥀🕯💌🥀🕯💌🥀💝💙💜💜💙💛💙💜

@jonathanmcqueen26 2 года назад

I was certainly taught to serve others (especially as a Christian) and ended up being a boozer…I’ve had enough recovery and at 50 yrs old now I’ve learned I want what’s best for me and others. I learn from my mistakes and others mistakes and am able to “kick it” within the lines…. I was a people pleaser, always aiming for perfection, at least on the outside. I’m not being a rescuer, victim, or perpetrator anymore and try stay away from those that waste their time in that Bermuda Triangle!! Peace be with you….

@DocSnipes 2 года назад

Thanks for watching! Wishing you peace, health, and, happiness.

@philliphedges9972 Год назад

My mom was physically present but she wasn't mentally present. It was never how was your day hun what was going on let me help you with your homework it was never what are you feeling today it was never anything about my feelings. I was the kind of precocious child that liked adults and I like learning about them and hearing their stories. So my mom really took advantage of that in the sense where it was always about her life her stories and the same thing with my stepfather. My stepfather was a man who was very insecure with a false bravado or false sense of confidence that he portrayed to the world. But he always needed reassurance and constant pep talks from my mother or constant affirmations even from us kids especially me. And I think because he could on a you know primitive level understand that I didn't love him as a father he resented me for that and he's also took out his own frustrations as with himself on me. Such as he would often say that I was phony or that if only the church knew who I really was. Or always telling me that I was an imposter which is very devastating to a child and confusing to the child especially if the child is still trying to figure out who they are themselves and they're being told that what they are isn't what they are. But I think that was just a projection of my father feeling as though he was a imposter all of his life and then taking it out on me. Which is horrible.

@philliphedges9972 Год назад

And then you add the verbal abuse and then you add the physical abuse and then you add the bullies at school I mean I was trying to escape from hell hole at school and I was trying then I was going home to another bully an adult male bully who also took steroids and opiates so therefore his moods were all over the place I was constantly we all were almost licking our fingers and putting it to the wind to see you know when the rain or the storm was going to come. I still walk on my tiptoes to this day. I learned to walk quietly and silently so that I can ever draw attention from my stepfather. I also for many years could not stand anyone standing behind me, because he would often slap me with full force behind you know at the back of my head. He would often call me a Mexican bastard. One time while my mother was out of town I was watching my siblings while he was at work and my sister got upset with me so she told him and he told me to pack all my stuff up and that he was taking me back to my wet back Mexican father in the neighboring town. So packed all my stuff up in garbage bags. My sister was even crying cuz she didn't mean for me to get not much trouble even though all I had been asking her was to clean her room. He came home drove me outside of town berating me the whole time I was probably about 7 years old. Then he told me to get out of the car he wasn't even going to take me to the neighboring. He turned around drove back towards town about 2 miles I could see his car 2 mi out I didn't know what to do or think all I knew was I felt better that I was outside the car with him cuz he could be violent. And then I see his car turn around with Dread I watched him drive back to me tell me to get my you know what in the car he told me not to say anything to my mother because if I said anything to her he would make sure I never saw my brother or my sister or my mom again. And so therefore I kept a lot of the abuse a secret. Although it wasn't much of a secret because he would outwardly attack me in front of any of my family members verbally or physically. My mom would only stop it if it got too bad. Because he was a very large muscular steroided man and I'm was a twig of a boy. This is why I left home at 15

@DocSnipes Год назад

Thank you for sharing. I am sorry that happened to you and I appreciate you watching.

@SpeakforGod Год назад

I empathize with you

@sheilawang7563 3 года назад

This is the best program for explaining abandonment fear and its relationship tp codependency to me. Thank you.

@Einstellung 3 года назад

I've really been enjoying this as well. I think it's one of the best videos on here on the topic.

@kimberlystokes3758 2 года назад

6t65

@BeGioBijoux 2 года назад

Wow to me it’s super obvious. When she mentioned they are related I just felt like everyone knew. I guess I need to watch my attachment style, thought everyone was the same 😓

@the_mulattos 2 года назад

Embedded in you the idea that that's what happened even if It didn't happen

@djjustice3244 2 года назад

God bless your good TIP..XOXO🔥🙏👑💘🙏🥀🥀🥀🐾🌻😻😅😻🐾🐾😻🐾🙏🙏💚💓💚💌🔥💜💗🙏🙏🙏🥀💛

@howtogetthatmantolisten 3 года назад

This is worth listening to several times. 👌

@DocSnipes 3 года назад

Happy to hear that! Too kind. Have a great day.

@suttynphoenix652 Год назад

I have core memories of literally crying myself to sleep on the porch swing or in the yard after begging my mom and dad to stay home with me or take them with me every weekend and they would leave me with my moms parents who eventually raised me it’s bothered me to this day I need this video it’s time for me to let that hurt go an give myself the love affection and care I need now thank you for this!

@DocSnipes Год назад

I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching

@SpeakforGod Год назад

I’m feel bad this is happening

@princesskileyrae 2 года назад

This came on (autoplay) randomly after Dr. Ramani & I'm so glad for that! What a great, thorough presentation! I've never heard such an in-depth explanation of these topics. Thank you for sharing your knowledge. :)

@DocSnipes 2 года назад

Wow, thanks SO much! :) I hope you subscribed.

@seekgodfirstallways8798 3 года назад

Now I know why my boyfriend of 8 months, says he finds it hard to show or feel emotions like I do. I almost finished with him, because I couldn't cope , especially due to covid 19 and living 200 miles apart from each other. I've decided to be patient and leave things in God's hands. Because I love my boyfriend enough to give him more time to communicate with me. Thank you sooo much for this wisdom! X 🤗👏👏👏

@DocSnipes 3 года назад

Wishing you peace, health and happiness

@nathansnyder3517 Год назад

This woman just dissected who I am in a relationship. This lead to one of the healthiest realizations of my life. Repaired my relationship. Thank you so much!

@DocSnipes Год назад

You’re so welcome. Thank you so much for watching and thank you for your kind words. Please share the video, if you can and please tell me your favorite tip from it. Thank you again. Have a great day!

@edgreen8140 3 года назад

Abuse is not acceptable emotional , verbal or physical. The need to make excuses for others is not healthy i.e. alcoholic family. Codependency= if i do x y z and complete these tasks then i will be lovable.

@MJ-qb5ph 2 года назад

Do as I say not as I do. Narcisstic famiky cults are defined this way and have to outwardly abuse to not take responsibility for their own failure to take responsibility. Sick

@lynettecaballero1660 2 года назад

Even if u do x u z and all the emotionally unavailable wants of you to male them happy,it will never be enough to fill their voids in them nor can they love you back fully,the little love you get is only love of what you do for them or make them feel by outer things like showing them care,love,attention,appreciation,admiration for superficial things they do which mostly will have a benefit to them too.

@lsd938 2 года назад

Overt is better than covert... covert will do a lot of damage before you realise that you need to run...

@DocSnipes 2 года назад

Thanks for watching.

@stanleymaestas5441 2 года назад

Yes, when I'm scared I desire for someone to ,"be there"

@DocSnipes 2 года назад

Thanks for watching.

@riggo44able 3 месяца назад

I found this video almost a year and a half ago now. I was going through the worst time of my life, just being discarded for a new source of supply. I could not understanding how it was possible to feel so much pain. But feel it I did. Pete Walkers books, coda, and other RU-vid videos have also helped me immensely. But I will always be thankful for finding this Doc Snipes video when I did. I’ve probably listened to it 35 to 50 times by now, but it just nailed me and my narcissistic exes behaviors. Thanks again Doc Snipes, you helped me save my life.

@DocSnipes 3 месяца назад

You’re most welcome. I am grateful to have been of help.

@old_big Год назад

Oh my god your right. I’m finally seeing myself in a new light

@DocSnipes Год назад

Thank you for watching. I am grateful to be of help. What have you found most helpful from the video?

@happygucci5094 2 года назад

Thank you for making this information available to the public. I also apprecite your empathetic and measured view of personality disorders as opposed to a great many people in the profession either speaking about person's suffering in an overly intellectualized way and/or perjoratively. I am certainly not dismissing or excusing problematic behavior- I am super appreciative of a professional that speaks with empathy and understanding on this and the various other topics that you cover. Your work is appreciated.

@DocSnipes 2 года назад

TY so much!

@totam7706 2 года назад

@@DocSnipes where are you in Florida that I can get therapy for this. it's severe wirh me.

@MsHairis8 Год назад

The ending section of questions to ask is so helpful, I screenshot them to take my time and go thru them. I have been looking for solution videos most videos on yt are just diagnostic giving u “5 reasons u can tell you’re codependent “ Like I know I am now what lol what’s next. So thank u for the practical healing questions

@1991windsor 3 года назад

Good information and it definitely explains why the co-dependent and the narcissist or borderline are drawn to one another. I always wondered how I got entangled with a narcissist and this helps explain it.

@MJ-qb5ph 2 года назад

Me too. I sure keep my distance now though!

@djjustice3244 2 года назад

What. YOUR SAYING IS NOT FULY TRUE NARCISSISTIC ABUSERS SEEK TARGETS NOT PEOPLE OR RELATIONSHIPS... THEY NEED (** SUPPLY..ITS VERY SELFISH ,& SRLF - CENTERED & SELF SEEKING BY THE NARCISSIST& NARCISSISTIC ABUSERS WHO ARE OFTEN CRIMINALS TOO.... RIGHT?? DR.SNIPES??

@sjdkfl 8 месяцев назад

I knew I was in trouble when I was happy and in love because I knew in my heart it could never last. And it never does. It’s just good to realize there is more to life in finding my true free self.

@DocSnipes 8 месяцев назад

Thank you for watching the video. Maybe my latest video on Beginning Self Care for Wellness in All PIECES of Your Life might help: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-4GNxPOriEYY.html

@tonyvargas368 Год назад

This was terribly eye opening for myself and I grateful to have found this. Wow.

@DocSnipes Год назад

Thanks for watching.

@jui7684 3 года назад

I feel understood. Tysm .

@DocSnipes 3 года назад

Wonderful

@slgreetings 2 года назад

I abandoned my son when he was 15. I didnt leave him physically, I did emotionally. Now I look back and die of embarrassment, shame, regret... I was a mess. How did this happen to me? I was always so strong.i know the answers now, but then, I had no idea I was a codependent... I have given everything of me to everyone and have always been in narcissistic relationships. All lessons learned except now I don't know how to fix me and my son. He got caught between the 2 of us. We had such a Fun life together up until then. I feel I'll never get over this. disappointing my son. Hurting him terribly... and feeling betrayed by life as I did everything to be the best mom in the world...I never even knew how broken I was. I get it all now... but there's always so much more to learn. I've done 7 years of obsessive studying, reading, watching experts on these topics.

@DocSnipes 2 года назад

Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.

@kelseycreating 2 года назад

I dated someone for a long time who’s mom abandoned him and she still does not even act like she actually did this. Probably not that reassuring, but it means a lot for you now to face that and recognize it happened. You may have made a mistake but it’s what you do after that matters, and it seems like you’re working hard now for yourself and your son. You seem like an amazing woman and may god bless you

@ianmcnally8501 2 года назад

@marykay can you talk to son and apologize? Maybe he can forgive you?

@rubberbiscuit99 2 года назад

I feel you. It took me a long time to forgive myself, and I still suffer pangs of guilt from time to time. One thing that helped me was recognizing that I was dealing with trauma that preceded me and took place over many generations of my female ancestors. Confronting this trauma is very heavy and too threatening for many to even attempt, so give yourself some room and some credit for what you are working towards, as well as for how far you have already come. ☮️❤️

@alphamom8218 Год назад

We are the ones brave and strong enough to recognize and put a stop to generational trauma. Explain what happened and ask for forgiveness. I’m in the same situation, it’s really hard. Just remember we were strong enough to go deep into our inner hell to get the key that will free our children from this ancient trauma prison system. Have compassion for your innocent inner child. ❤

@alicerose9140 3 года назад

Thank you for beautiful clarity and kindness.

@DocSnipes 3 года назад

You are so welcome

@ChanEspy 3 года назад

This video is so insightful and very informative thank you so much

@thomashardy9937 2 месяца назад

Absolutely amazing. For personal reasons I am having such a breakthrough (plural)! Additionally, I’m in the help industries, cultural inclusion, addiction recovery, rehabilitation, and professional services in the way of facilitation, project management, change management and process development. Through your work I see better why people can resist change. This is an extraordinary eye-opener considering the diverse people and organizations with whom I work. Thank you so much! thank you very much.

@DocSnipes 2 месяца назад

You’re most welcome! Thanks for watching. If you’re interested in obtaining new certification, here is the link to my certification training masterclasses: certifiedaddictioncounselor.com

@billthelen6524 Год назад

Thank you Dr. Snipes for another awesome and helpful video. I have been in and out of relationships all my life since I was a teenager. Fear of abandonment and feelings of low self-esteem were pretty much the reason. I tried to fill an empty feeling inside through relationships. Through DBT therapy, I have learned how to be okay being me. Since then, I have been in a long term relationship. Even though, I still feel invalidated and unloved at times. We always seem to work things out..

@DocSnipes Год назад

You’re so welcome. Thank you so much for watching. What tips from the video will you use to increase self-esteem and address codependency and abandonment anxiety?

@cuddlemonster468 Год назад

Such a great job articulating this. Thank you

@DocSnipes Год назад

You’re so welcome. I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it? Other videos you might be interested in can be found at ru-vid.comsearch?query=codependency ru-vid.comsearch?query=secure

@cuddlemonster468 Год назад

@@DocSnipes I found the "Questions for Client About Core Beliefs" around the 55 minute mark particularly valuable.

@sharon-py7os 3 года назад

Really interesting and helpful,thank you!

@philliphedges9972 Год назад

I had an autologous stem-cell transplant a year ago; none of my family was there at all. I was in the hospital for an entire month, not a phone call, not a text nothing. And I always thought that I came from a big large connected close loving family but that was also really hard for me to be honest. I mean I'm very adaptable but it bothers me today actually

@DocSnipes Год назад

I am sorry that happened to you and I appreciate you watching.

@vyoletrose3218 Год назад

Im sorry you went through that alone 🙁 I hope you are doing much better now.

@philliphedges Год назад

@@vyoletrose3218 I am. Me and dogs. My family:)

@vyoletrose3218 Год назад

@@philliphedges 💓 Beautiful. Im really glad you have each other :)

@bens3767 2 года назад

This was super informative and helpful I am just now knuckling down and starting work with my own attachment behaviors and this helped immensely to introduce me to the theories.

@DocSnipes 2 года назад

Glad it was helpful!

@riggo44able Год назад

I am so thankful for you Doc Snipes. Absolutely a godsend for me at this time. Keep up the great work.

@DocSnipes Год назад

You are so welcome. I appreciate you watching

@SpeakforGod Год назад

Me too she is awesome

@Diabeteslovewithdee 2 года назад

Thank You! I needed to learn about Fear of Abandonment.

@DocSnipes 2 года назад

Thanks for watching and commenting.

@theorphicpariah5669 Год назад

Incredibly useful! So grateful for your time and expertise. 🦋

@DocSnipes Год назад

You’re so welcome. Thank you for watching the video. What did you find most useful from it?

@theforensicbadass 3 года назад

THAT WAS AN AMAZING CLASS! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

@DocSnipes 3 года назад

You're so welcome!

@JasonHo 3 года назад

Fantastic information. You answered so many questions I had about myself and others. Thank you.

@DocSnipes 3 года назад

Ty. And Thanks for watching.

@melodeevonmeyer4216 Год назад

Melody Bestie is going to Trader Joe's Marie Calendars reception as nd her book signing at that time I had 9 years in the 12 programs codependency and my area Long Beach to South Bay so I stood In the corner with her and I would identify and directed them to area that matched. So I quit at 15 years and 6 years and 2 geographicald. I survived 4 sponsors. Thanking God I found you on UTube and your way of teaching is a positive and cute. You pinpointed my problem and described it because I avoid feeling but just describing so I can see my behavior for me so much needed understanding. I thank God for you and your knowledge and understanding them helping so many.

@DocSnipes Год назад

You’re so welcome. I am so grateful to be of help and I am grateful for you watching the video. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at ru-vid.comsearch?query=codependency

@smurfettebliss8190 2 года назад

I'm an adult with extreme abandonment issues. How can I make it go away!? It's ruining my life!

@peggysullivan5396 2 года назад

Therapy

@DocSnipes 2 года назад

A good, licensed, professional counselor should be able to help.

@DocSnipes Год назад

Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com

@victoriaporsiempre Год назад

Dr.Snipes! thank you for your videos! 🙏🏽❤

@DocSnipes Год назад

You’re so welcome. Thank you for watching the video. What did you find most useful from it?

@lydiadevries8408 3 года назад

Thank you this is really good.

@DocSnipes 3 года назад

You are welcome.

@JustJen1386 2 года назад

Love this channel, so informative

@DocSnipes 2 года назад

Thanks very much.

@GrowBraveWay Год назад

Also learning about pathological loneliness.

@DocSnipes Год назад

Thanks for watching. What did you find most useful from the video. Other videos on codependency that might help you can be found at: ru-vid.comsearch?query=codependency

@rcz2023 2 года назад

Thank you for sharing your knowledge.

@DocSnipes 2 года назад

Thanks for watching.

@yingliwang3028 2 года назад

I find this content so helpful, I believe we all suffer from abandonment issue in varying degree. I wonder where can I get the PowerPoint of this presentation?

@jeanmarieobrien8254 2 года назад

You're amazing thankyou very much I am so grateful of your knowledge

@DocSnipes 2 года назад

Thanks for commenting and watching!

@rob327c 3 года назад

So relatable.

@DocSnipes 3 года назад

Thanks so much. Have a great weekend!

@mindysmith2087 Год назад

Thank you so much for all the amazing content.

@DocSnipes Год назад

So welcome. I appreciate you watching. If you’re interested in codependency, you can find other videos on it at: ru-vid.comsearch?query=codependency

@woobielocks Год назад

Wow, thank you so much! I REALLY APPRECIATE your naming of what’s actually wrong with me. First time my problem resonates as truth with me! So basically cluster b actions result from cluster b trauma that you probably got from a cluster b parent acting out cluster b trauma responses and so forth. Thank you for the puzzle piece I’ve needed my entire life to be whole. I’m pretty sure I can feel nontoxic if I can answer these questions.

@DocSnipes Год назад

So welcome. I appreciate you watching. Other videos on codependency that might help you can be found at: ru-vid.comsearch?query=codependency

@irislama4695 8 месяцев назад

Thanks for helping me and many! 🙏

@glenlukose54 3 года назад

What's the best way to heal? I know it's not an overnight solution but a process, and watching this is the first step. What do you recommend?

@jacquelynkennedy4568 3 года назад

DBT Skilled therapy. They are support groups check on fb for groups that have free zoom meetings

@anishshakya1295 2 года назад

Vipassana meditation (mindfulness)

@ajordan1847 Год назад

This is so good, and the strategies for what to look for are helpful. Thank you for what you do! I've subscribed to your channel.

@DocSnipes Год назад

Thank you so much for watching and for subscribing. It is truly appreciated. What would you say is your favorite strategy from the video?

@SpeakforGod Год назад

Love this doctor

@ajordan1847 Год назад

@@DocSnipes Hi Dr. Snipes, I think it's more of a collective process for the strategies reviewed, "building awareness of triggers" and understanding how to reframe narratives built from codependent behaviors. Particularly the " Signs of Abandonment Issues" really resonated. Also, learning to identify "All or nothing" extremes in how I approach people and decisions enabled me to rethink how I view relationships with loved ones and reestablish healthy boundaries.

@heatherashley785 10 месяцев назад

Excellent teaching thank you.

@DocSnipes 10 месяцев назад

You’re so welcome. Thanks for watching. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at ru-vid.comsearch?query=codependency

@redlady222 3 года назад

Thank you

@DocSnipes 3 года назад

You're welcome

@YungDreezy 3 года назад

Great content, really helpful. Thanks!

@nicolebhjaymadre9045 2 года назад

This is good to understand our children and ourselves

@DocSnipes 2 года назад

Thanks for watching.

@_marduk Год назад

Thank you!

@DocSnipes Год назад

You’re so welcome. I am grateful to be of help and I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it? Other videos you might be interested in can be found at ru-vid.comsearch?query=codependency

@justinheer9098 Год назад

Great insight the pieces of the puzzle are coming together and in recovery being able to see the why's is very helpful thanks Doc snipes

@DocSnipes Год назад

So welcome. I appreciate you watching. If you’re interested in codependency, you can find other videos on it at: ru-vid.comsearch?query=codependency

@SpeakforGod Год назад

Absolutely

@kaitemarie5404 2 года назад

Soooo helpful.

@DocSnipes 2 года назад

Awesome

@seancostner3979 Год назад

Thanks!

@DocSnipes Год назад

You’re most welcome. Thank you for watching

@emmajestic2292 Год назад

I am eternally grateful to have found your channel 💙

@DocSnipes Год назад

I appreciate you watching. If you’re interested in codependency, you can find other videos on it at: ru-vid.comsearch?query=codependency

@SpeakforGod Год назад

So helpful

@01bebz 2 года назад

This opened my eyes to so much I have to work on. Great presentation!

@DocSnipes 2 года назад

Glad it was helpful! Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.

@Single4ever4lovesake Год назад

My mom would rather believe she is a chosen one than to just grapple with her childhood.

@DocSnipes Год назад

I appreciate you watching. If you’re interested in codependency, you can find other videos on it at: ru-vid.comsearch?query=codependency

@SpeakforGod Год назад

Oh wow. I understand

@sssttt2211 2 года назад

Don't get entangled with people. Life is beautiful if you don't get entangled. You don't need anything from external world.

@akc1739 2 года назад

I really needed to hear that. TY

@MJ-qb5ph 2 года назад

I tend to agree. Thank you for this

@krisscanlon4051 2 года назад

Amen I don't plan to ever again. I let myself get burnt to a crisp and lost a critical 4 years of my life. Today I live for me...never again will I live below the veil of consciousness.

@brittneyhibdon3896 2 года назад

Umm, this is avoidant behavior “if I do not have expectations, I can’t be let down.” I am sorry for all of the things you all have been through, but understand that our learned instincts are going to do their best to protect us, so while it may serve you, this is not healthy either. Humans do not exist well in a vacuum. Sure it is possible, but it is extremely lonely. A better approach is setting healthy boundaries and doing your best to not allow others to ignore them. The other persons words, should absolutely reflect in their actions and if they do not, they are not trustworthy. Hold them and yourself accountable - if it feels wrong, majority of the time you are absolutely right, don’t gaslight yourself. You deserve to do right by yourself, to not allow the actions of others to rule your future. You can not undo your past, but you can unpack it and not perpetuate the cycle. Best wishes and love to everyone of you.

@spiritualsandy 2 года назад

No healthy relationships will ever come from this type thought process. Not heath for you as a person or your other relationships in your life. Interdependence is key. Sounds like you are a DA.

@GO-dd1po 2 года назад

Awesome presentations and analyses Doc Snipes. Doc Snipes could you do a presentation on adults whom consistently behave in negative behaviors that drive family and loved ones away from them. Thank you.

@DocSnipes 2 года назад

I will put that in my suggested video list. Thanks for watching.

@GO-dd1po 2 года назад

@@DocSnipes Thank you

@loridriskell8121 2 года назад

Shame the damage. Some parents have. Caused the lack of tools to have normal relationships the struggle is Real

@DocSnipes 2 года назад

Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.

@SlobZombie Год назад

I struggle so much with all the above. Its actually very overwhelming even know where to start in recovery. Theres such a disconnection I have with everyone, I feel I cant relate to a soul.

@DocSnipes Год назад

I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it? If you are interested in videos on codependency, you can find them at: ru-vid.comsearch?query=codependency

@itsallinmyheds6874 Год назад

This describes the entire doctor/ patient relationship for chronic pain patients since 2016 & the dynamic switches back & forth so all the codependency falls on the patient, who needs pain medication. Doctors reject me all the time because I need opiate medication to operate my body, because of a genetic disorder of my soft tissue. It’s a living nightmare…😢

@DocSnipes Год назад

I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching

@SpeakforGod Год назад

😢I’m so sad for this dear

@Thaulopi Год назад

i love power-point karaoke^^ Still, a very good presentation. Thank you Ms

@DocSnipes Год назад

Thanks for watching

@Thaulopi Год назад

@@DocSnipes No, Madam, I would like to express my deepest gratitude for brininging light in to darkness, knowledge inot the realm of questiones and hope to those who dwell in despair. Thank You, kind Madam

@CoconutwCoco Год назад

what practical methods and tools we as clients that can use? I find myself unable to rewrite the core belief, I can't find much proof against them. your videos have been the most helpful, I truly appreciate it. Love long content.

@DocSnipes Год назад

Thank you for watching the video and for your questions. Have you tried watching the video on addressing negative thoughts? ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-V4hKLAEVTR8.html There’s also a video on addressing cognitive distortions that might help you ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-jCds-hs_r9A.html

@CoconutwCoco Год назад

@@DocSnipes thank you so much. I will watch them. hope they would help!

@agniyogabyinessa Год назад

The puppet example was so hilarious, I had to comment on it 🤣

@glennrice7795 3 года назад

- I've been vilified for using the term "co-dependent," apparently because it's now considered not a condition. If this is so, how would one define the symptoms without using the word? I don't expect an answer, but I *did* get this off my chest.

@waynepolo6193 2 года назад

Codependency is indeed not a ‘condition’ as it is not in the dsm-v. It can be tricky though, because doctors will diagnose the codependent with depression or, depending* personality disorder or something, just to get insurance to cover treatment. Shortest description of codependency I can think of would be something like, “equates self-worth with self-sacrifice. Anticipates the ‘needs’ (demands) of others as a holdover of childhood attempts to minimize conflicts and outbursts in the home environment. Probably feels like being “low maintenance” is their best quality” Edit: *Dependent* Personality Disorder

@ginger48isgreat 2 года назад

@@waynepolo6193 Totally agree.. I’m doing anything I can to get my family to like me. The more I back down or cater the more they treat me like a loser ..

@dsnitz1 2 года назад

@@waynepolo6193 this..."Shortest description of codependency I can think of would be something like, “equates self-worth with self-sacrifice. Anticipates the ‘needs’ (demands) of others as a holdover of childhood attempts to minimize conflicts and outbursts in the home environment. Probably feels like being “low maintenance” is their best quality” Is exactly how I have been living for 63 years and wondering why my relationships always fail. As the oldest of 7, and the only girl, I took on keeping peace in the house so we didn't have the outbursts that would result in physical punishment for all of us. I left home at 16 and spent the rest of my life running away when I felt like there was going to be a confrontation about anything.

@ceciliaguevarra7761 2 года назад

Past is past let’s move in the future...

@DocSnipes 2 года назад

Thanks for watching.

@juliashearer7842 Год назад

This has left me wondering what would be left of me if I was able to stop all of the behaviours that I can identify with in this video.

@DocSnipes Год назад

Thank you for watching the video. You can try replacing the behaviors you’ve identified with healthy ones.

@TheAdhdGardener Год назад

All I can say is WOW😱

@DocSnipes Год назад

Thank you so much for watching. What would you say is your favorite tip from the video?

@TheAdhdGardener Год назад

Don't hide the feelings anymore. Acknowledge them. As Bob Marley says in one song -"you running and running, running away but you can't run away from yourself" Thing is that most people including myself don't realize what's going on or is it rather they dont want to face it. It's time. It reminds me of Dr. Jordan Peterson said in a few of his lectures. We all have a monster inside.. time to Acknowledge it, reign it in and work with it. Better to know all of you than just bits n pieces so u can become a better version of yourself.

@Mindsetolympics 2 года назад

Hi whats the best way to donate to this channel this info is invaluable literally cannot put a price on it God bless you crying as I save these questions I need to journal out for myself 😭😭😭

@DocSnipes 2 года назад

RU-vid has a tip link under every video, I think. We may role out something where users can support/ sponsor specific videos or the channel as well. You can watch DocSnipes.com website for things like that. :) Thanks for the question and watching!

@prismonthethehorizon5793 2 года назад

42:40

@furkandesign-art9213 Год назад

24:50 26:00 28:50 43:38 52:55

@DocSnipes Год назад

Thank you so much for watching and for sharing. Have a great day!

@anndillard8681 Год назад

Over attended to - smothered - can also distort attachment theory..

@djjustice3244 2 года назад

ENTANGLEMENT IS WHAT EXACTLY BE MORE SPECIFIC WITH SPECIFIC BEHAVIOR EXAMPLES

@caveymoley 2 года назад

Whats frustrating about this topic is that it's always presented as if abandonment issues are the result of childhood trauma exclusively, and as though it manifests as a fear of abandonment WITHIN relationships, What about the abandonment issues that are the result of a breakup in adulthood? Ones that manifest not as a fear of future relationships, but as persistent feelings of having been disposed of and made to feel worthless? - It's like there's two different situations, one where the patient is "dealing with" what MIGHT happen...(loads of psych videos about it) and another situation where patient is "dealing with" what HAS happened, (no psych videos about it)

@DocSnipes 2 года назад

There are very few things with the human mind that are "exclusive" as you say. Thanks for watching.

@anndillard8681 Год назад

Those high on the empath spectrum must learn to set boundaries.. trying to heal others is toxic.. only you can heal yourself.. Books to read DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR -memoir/self-help - FEAST OF MEN & REFLECTION OF THE CURSE.. journey of a woman's heart..

@DocSnipes Год назад

Thanks for watching! Videos on boundaries you might be interested in can be found at: ru-vid.comsearch?query=boundaries

@varnishyourboard 2 года назад

I miss her so much. All these issues scared her away forever. Ugh.

@DocSnipes 2 года назад

Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.

@vyoletrose3218 Год назад

I feel your pain 😢 I wish you healing and peace in your heart.

@27mmo 2 года назад

Is there any way to find a therapist who works with this information?

@djjustice3244 2 года назад

I Was FEELING UNSAFE .MY PTSD WENT OFF THE SCALE FROM 4 TO A 9 ON A SCALE OF 1-10

@DocSnipes 2 года назад

Thanks for watching.

@cathyduggar6545 2 года назад

Patricia asked, what if the child is getting their attachment needs met but is still clinging and fearful? This is at mate marker 1433. This happened with my son. What stopped it was when I finally got some friends that he could get nurturement from other adults, but not JUST that, since this final resolvement happened not with just other adults around wllling to meet his needs, but because of addition of a father and a boy child, along with mother and daughter (he already HAD this stimulus around him constantly, all the residents I knew at the complex were female) My son stopped being a hemorrhoid (bless his sweet heart) and he went OUTSIDE WITH OTHERS, WITHOUT ME. Was such a change. This is also when he finally started attempting to talk instead of seeming to refuse the attentions of other moms and young girls. I didn't understand it but then I heard something about a shy monkey something or other. Where baby monkeys won't stop clinging to Mommy's leg. There, finally with the addition of adult monkeys that would mother the child, the monkey stopped clinging to home base and explored its environment.

@DocSnipes 2 года назад

Thanks for watching and sharing your experience.

@Mereship 2 года назад

Are these characteristics of someone with Borderline Personality Disorder?

@peggygarcia1131 Год назад

Codependent 35:20

@DocSnipes Год назад

Thank you so much for watching. How are you planning to build secure attachment?

@michellemejia8925 2 года назад

How do you beat the power play so no get hurt or hate each other for life

@DocSnipes 2 года назад

Thanks for watching.

@unapologeticallyria6386 2 года назад

If I would have seen this 2 years ago my boyfriend would probably still be alive today.

@DocSnipes 2 года назад

My condolences. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.

@unapologeticallyria6386 2 года назад

Growing up without parents isn’t easy

@moonshineonme75013 2 года назад

Whoa wait a minute... W H A A A T T T?!?

@moonshineonme75013 2 года назад

UhUhUhUhUh!

@DocSnipes 2 года назад

Thanks for watching

@rascallyrabbit Год назад

i simply eliminated any needs. Needs, what are they?😊

@DocSnipes Год назад

Thanks for watching

@sharonhearne5014 2 года назад

What happens when the child (me) chooses to abandon the mother due to her obvious cruelty? At that same time there was a turn to my profoundly religious, seemingly supportive father but results in no genuine support due to his addiction to his wife, my mother. Therefore my choice from the perspective of a four year old child (me) ends up with complete and total emotional (but not physical) abandonment. So, is the choice I made a source of self hate and self rejection?

@DocSnipes 2 года назад

Generally our choices are based on the best choices for us in the moment. I would lean to discovery of why it was the best choice for self-survival.

@sharonhearne5014 2 года назад

@@DocSnipes My mother’s tactics were “soul damaging” , i. e., survival of the psyche was critical for me.

@taylorpresley4604 2 года назад

@@sharonhearne5014 I have been there Sharon, give yourself love, we need it.

@sssttt2211 2 года назад

My mother has abandonment issues. She 8s hypercritical, uses manipulation, shame guilt, controlling, demanding behaviours and she has told many times why going elsewhere is not safe... Haha.. safe for whom? In fact her 5his very behavior makes people to abandon her. Even I keep safe distance from her and meet once a week for 1 hour or many be once a month for an hour. I don't mind leaving her at any moment. Some companies are looking for codependents. They know these people will do anything do get approval and do even more work. Beware of such bosses and companies. I know a few. They will give more and more work. But won't pay you the same for that work. Be direct in your asks. Assess if work given 8s realistic for payment they are making , not for job title but the payment they are making. Compare that with others in company and with outside companies. If they refuse to pay for what you did work on, leave that job.

@peggysullivan5396 2 года назад

Huh?