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@@bitovroman7941 um no, we dont have to turn everything into a 'which gender should'. manliness and masculinity are NOT in paying what we have isnt fragile masculinity its toxic masculinity. manliness and masculinity are in personality so if a man offers, you CAN refuse and pay yourself if YOU WANT, its also very respectful to refuse and offer to pay yourself in lots of cultures. so how can being polite hurt someones feeling that literally doesnt make sense. theres no rule that says a certain gender have to pay. the end ❤️
@@Madawi08 thank you for your reply, but I have a degree in gender studies, so with all due respect I beg you , don’t refuse, just let a man be a gentleman and enjoy your salad with appreciation ☺️ the end. (?)
@@bitovroman7941 you too, thank you for responding, and with all due respect i think what you said before is dumb and i dont agree with it. you totally dont have to agree with me!! i just stated my opinion. thank you ❤️
A lot of people misjudge ettiequte as being too stiff and all about the rules? But personally I feel like knowing a format of what to do and say in every situation that people appreciate just helps you relax and be comfortable.
So true. Knowing the basic fundamentals of etiquette is the most liberating thing. You can choose to break certain rules, but you have to know them first.
I am very new to this, but I love your perspective on this. I am really shy, but I want to behave elegantly.. so this gives me something to fall back on while I feel shy
In relation to number 4, if you are in East Asia or maybe in some Southeast Asian countries also, use your two hands when passing a gift, a thing, or a business card. Received it also with two hands.
the full list :) 1) Forgetting to introduce people to each other 2) Passing through an aisle with your back facing people 3) Not RSVPing or sending them late 4) Passing your business card with your left hand (mostly significant in the Middle East) 5) Shaking someone's hand while staying seated 6) Seasoning food before tasting it 7) Taking a sip of a drink when you still have food in your mouth 8) Leaving your used napkin on the plate 9) Making the first toast when you're a guest (you typically should wait for the host) 10) Toasting in your own honour
Great post! Simple introductions is not enough - it can actually end a conversation, sharing some details that are potential places to make a connection and build a relationship will move people into the friendly zone!
About eating and sipping water: some people have conditions where they don't produce enough saliva, making it extremely tiring and uncomfortable to chew their food, as in Sjogren's syndrome among others. So if you notice such behaviour, excuse them and don't be hasty to judge.
I didn't know there's a condition like that. I don't think anyone would be pointing at the table or saying nasty things behind their back just because someone took a sip of drink while they still have food in their mouth :)
I would always spill food on my chest & feel so embarrassed. It was only when my sister took me to a nice hotel & once again I dropped food. I felt so small until another guest said the rule for napkin on knee does not apply to people with short necks. That was when I noticed my sister had a beautiful swan neck & I had a wrestler's neck. Now I happily tuck my napkin into my top & make no mess on my clothes. I also don't pile up my fork or spoon, just in case you were wondering. Thank you.
Wow, learned a lot, thank you so much! Could you please be kind to make a video of how to deal with unpoliteness of other people? Sometimes we come across very uncomfortable situations and we don't know how to deal with them. 🌹💟
I like to add some details in my invitations. For a cocktail party from 5-8:00 pm, for example, I said “drinks and substantial hors d’oeuvres”, so guests could plan the rest of their day or evening around what I was serving.
If you're reading this comment, one small positive thought can change your whole day & believe you can and you’re halfway there ✨. God bless you, and may your dreams come true, stay safe and have a wonderful day.
Thank you for this video. These are important etiquette lessons that are unfortunately overlooked. Because I was extremely shy as a child and had limited social skills (possibly due to a developmental delay), despite my mom’s teachings, when my 4th grade teacher asked me to introduce my mother, I ran away. Of course, Mom wasn’t happy about it at all. It took me years until I finally made it a habit to introduce others. I also didn’t know about the only times when it is acceptable to shake hands while being seated. It is good for others to know. I think another exception is to shake hands with others who are physically unable to stand. For example, there are several people at church who have difficulty standing, so they shake hands while seated. 🤝 I’ll never toast myself-I am too humble (and shy)! 😉🥂
Please please, would you consider to do a video on wedding etiquette? And I have seen that your book is no more avaiable on Amazon … are you going to publish some more of them?
Hello Jamila :) Thank you for the video. Please note that with toast the rules can be diffrent. As an example during a Polish wedding or birthday the wedding couple or person that have birthday usually makes few toasts "for all guests" and all guests and hosts must drink :)
that is right! first I thought. ooooh, I stand corrected but now I'm like that's right. We (Poles) always toast along with the person toasting us - it would be a bit rude not to, as if you were not accepting the toast.
A common reason for not introducing an acquaintance to a friend is simply that you do not remember their name! Be alert and if your friend doesn't immediately introduce you, take the lead and do it yourself- the embarrassment of not doing the introduction will be less than that of having to admit they don't remember the person's name! On the subject of introducing, if you are (for example) in the presence of your gardener/housekeeper/secretary when your friend arrives you should briefly introduce them. To simply turn away and greet the guest is just rude and demeaning to the employee.
Thank you so much Jamila for giving tips on Common Etiquette mistakes because it is very helpful for us and please make daily videos I love your videos so much you are my inspiration imagine getting a heart from You♥️😍☺️🙈😊😘😘🤗🌸💕💓💗❤️
1:04 failing to introduce people to each other 2:02 passing an aisle with your back facing the person who is seated 2:42 not RSVP-ing or doing it late 4:07 passing your business card with your left hand 4:38 handshaking while seated 5:40 seasoning your food before trying it 6:34 taking in a drink when food is in your mouth 7:08 leaving used napkin on the plate 7:47 toasting first 8:11 toasting/drinking to yourself
Could you do a video on writing a proper thank you note? Seems this is becoming a lost art also. Thanks so much. Really enjoy your videos. Think I’ll try my hand at calligraphy. I’m a doctor and my handwriting shows it.
Hi Jamila i m frm India. I m a mindset coach and a mentor to aviation aspirants..I find your content is so apt and so precise for all who want to understand etiquette,manners and much more. I follow you and feel that understanding etiquettes also gives you a headsup with understanding someone's culture and lifestyles too..thanks and appreciate your good work
Hey I am from a Muslim country and mostly we use hand for eating.... You told in one of you video that in american way first we need to cut the food in bite size then change the side of fork and eat it holding the fork in the right hand but cutting and changing sides so many time seems little wired to me probably becoz not able to visualise it perfectly ... It will be very helpful if you show it in practical way through a video...sorry for my poor English in advance.... Thank you for your videos.They are very helpful.
Ah today I'm early lol ✨ Btw I really love your videos !! I've improved a lot after watching your videos here on RU-vid !! Thank you so much for it Jamila ❤️ they're really very helpful in personality development
The fourth one is also true for South Asian countries like India, Sri Lanka etc. It can also be applied to gifts and food (especially prasad: little morsel of food that is given after a prayer or religious ritual). Give and receive with your right hand, please.
Agreed I always give some people some grace if not from the US and do not know our custom and would hope someone would do the same for me...just let me know gently.
The one I did not know was you do not drink to when someone toasts you. I had no idea on that one. The one I cannot stand 😖 is the derriere to your face when passing. Grrr!
Thank you so much for these etiquette mistakes to avoid. I've learned so much from you within the last 4 days, and I feel it's a lot of value for free. I can't wait to sign up for your courses. Thank you, Jamila. ❤
Number 10 was totally new for me! I'm in chock. I thought that it was the opposite 😱 that the person should drink with the other guests because that would mean that they were saying thank you
Your videos are very informative! Could you please make a video on the different types of glasswares used for drinks in dining? I would love to know more about that. All the best for your upcoming videos! ❤
Hi, Jamila. If you don't mind I would like to see a video about having good pose for your photograph in any occasions (formal or nonformal. Thank you! ❤ By the way, great video as always 👍
I noticed the placement of her engagement ring and wedding band. In the US the wedding ring is placed on the finger first (closest to heart) then the engagement ring.
The last one could be misread as rude. I’m sure not many people know it so it would be super awkward that everyone expects you to drink with them and you just nod and do nothing. So stressful!
2. Passing though an aisle with your back facing people… I went to a show with my in laws and a few of their friends. Fancy dinner, fancy show, wonderful evening. Upon returning from the restroom during intermission, one of the women in our group was leading the way through our aisle. Her backside facing the seated people. Apparently, she had pulled her pants up with the toilet seat cover hanging out of the back waistline of her pants. That was an evening to remember.
Hi Jamila, Love all your videos. Wanted to ask how we can elegantly say no to liquor or non veg food at parties? It can be really helpful as I don't take either of them. Thanks
Hullo, I'm not who you've asked but I'd simply say something like 'oh thank you, I do not drink, but please enjoy' or 'thank you for offering, I'm vegetarian/vegan, but please enjoy' I like to add the 'please enjoy' or something similar just so it's like, oh you can still enjoy that I just don't partake. Being straight up about it will make everyone's time easier. Just like if you were diabetic and declining a huge piece of cake. Or had allergies. Also if I'm attending a party or similar, riding a plane, or taking a cruise I will tell the host or company in advance that I do not drink alcohol/any dietary things. It helps them prepare for me. Kinda like if you knew abut a BBQ a month in advance and didn't tell the host you're vegan they might not think to have other things available, unfortunately. Anyway that's my input about that, cheers.
I once reproached a friend for not introducing his friend to me and vice versa. He replied that we could introduce ourselves to each other. People from my area (Paris) and social background (immigrant 2nd gen, working class, millennial…) are often like this-I don’t know where I picked up the reflex of introducing my acquaintances to each other.
@@JamilaMusayeva Thank you for the encouragement. I am nevertheless afraid that this is so unconventional here that it would simply come off as out-of-place, intrusive, or disingenuous. When acquaintances start to speak without bothering to include others, they create their own bubble. It normally dissipates after a few minutes if they stick around, but if they’re just having a quick exchange it seems usual for the unacquainted to ignore each other… though it still feels clumsy or careless.
Hello Jamila could you do a video for us older people? What to do with your cane when dinning out. Wheel chair manners. How to rise gracefully when you knee's no longer work well. When because of age you forget and old friends name and other problems that come with age, but you don't want to come off as rude.