I just watched the first 3 videos. You spoke to me. Even if my relationship doesn't make it past the power struggle I plan on learning from the mistakes and the new knowledge I have just retained. Thank you.
My partner and I just realized ee have gotten to the power struggle stage. Its been so difficult and we even thought about breaking up after being together for 3 years. I found your videos and honestly I feel there is hope. I am sharing the videos and applying your techniques. Thank you so much !!!
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i believe that my husband stumbled on your video and i am thinking this is Gods message to us! i appreciate your dedication and commitment to bringing this message to the public. it is very thoughtful!!! and powerful and has the ability to impact humanity....as marriages create family and this is the cradle of civilization. i pray that this creates the results that the Creator intends for us...giving us both peace! thank yu! and i wish the best to you and your family!
I have to admit, I am hearing a lot of this stuff and I can tell you are speaking a lot of truth in these video's. As you were talking about these methods, I started realizing a bunch of opportunities where I wish i had used it. I am excited to see how these techniques work in the future. Thanks Bruce!
wow... this was amazing advice! I tried it in just a casual conversation at work and I can tell the customer felt heard.. and understood. I cant wait to try it with my boyfriend :)
Thankyou for such a explanatory video that helps our mind to visualization what were the mistakes we had in our relationships while you speak in the video.
It is hugely empowering and bestows so much freedom to have the tools at hand and with which to restore the relationship with the one you love of even though so you have been rejected. It it removes the heartache instantly to realise that you have this power our at your your disposal. In other words the relationship is at your disposal now and you are in charge of your love destiny. Truly awesome. Every blessing Bruce.
thank you very much... this piece of advice is precious for me specially I am in the verge of break up so I'll use use your techniques to repair my relationship. bless you
I havent started using this techniques or truths yet but i want to thank you for sharing and helping me save marriage and my family. God bless you for your little efforts are saving the nations. God bless you!!!
HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THE SOUND AFFECTS FIRST OF ALL, and it's so funny bc I was repeatedly serving back my serves to him when he served to me initially. I did that bc I didn't like what he said I thought it was emotionally draining and I was in a good mood so I felt upset at his serve and kindof expected it from him too which made it more of a drag. (Sometimes I don't respond) but I am loving how u put thism it is their serve, their game!!! So be "responsive" as they want...
Bruce: again finding this video hard to work with, because im not hearing it so far address how to know if we like the other person sufficiently, to know whether we should put in the effort to go thru the five stages with that other person
This video contains excellent techniques for good communication. In order to lessen arguments, you must listen each other's side; it is the most important aspect to save and build a strong married life.
What you are describing in this video is the Imago Dialogue created by Harville Hendricks. It's great that you are sharing it but you might want to give him credit for it.
Funny, I automatically do the reflective conversation already. But the response I get, is him telling me I've twisted his words with anger. I ask for clarity and he refuses. Over and over, thus is how our "conversations" go. But I'll try again with this video in mind. 7 years is not worth giving up on....
All is sweet, nice vid and I really envy all of you who can communicate like that, but in case of my marriage theres nothing more that can be done, absolutely, we are two totally different people and my hub will never learn to be responsive or reflective simply because hes nt interested in any communication whatsoever.
My girlfriend and I have been on and off a couple of times over the past year and a half and just recently broke up. She says she just lost hope for the most part that we can get back to that place of romance because we fight too much and it's exhausting. We were in the Power Struggle stage most definitely. I am not a quitter and always want to work through these things because I know how beautiful our love is, but I can see how we were trying to fix things all wrong. Almost like we were using the wrong tools to fix anything. I feel like I don't have the right to contact her as maybe she needs space but I do hope she tries to reach out to me because I love her to death! If that happens, then I would love to put these tools (that you have shared in your videos) into action. I think they would work wonders. Everything you've said is right on the money! Thank you for sharing such valuable information!
I find your thoughts and methods quite interesting and thank you for sharing them freely with everyone! I do find, however, your background music to be a bit distracting... makes it really hard for me to calmly listen to you...perhaps you could try one without music? Thanks again!
Hey Bruce, I have a question. What can you say in this regard about each partner's responsibility to tell the other what they need and want? I'm studying relationship counseling myself and am curious about your stance on this.
Are you an engineer? This is how the electronic transmitters n receivers work when they transmit/receive the data...but in lightning speed n in codes! Byte size, small chunks, acknowledge, error correction codes....these are all electronic communication nerd-words. N what u have there is a called tx-rx communication flowchart and what u r talking is sender-receiver protocol - you are an Engineer! :) Good lecture - thanks!
what do you do if your partner says no to having a reflective conversation but you really want to try to fix things between the two of you and your partner is fixed on having a divorce but you feel like your partner doesn't truly mean it on the inside?? great video, but please help on the other side if your partner says "no" to having a reflective conversation
The idea of reflective conversation or mirroring and very well explained. Thank you. Can you or someone point to techniques on dealing with when she is "venting" or getting something off her chest -- where she is going on for a long time, about 10-15 minutes at a stretch with several points at once. It would not be possible or at least extremely difficult for me to mirror her. How does one handle this? Often times, she will vent and as soon as I start responding, she will walk away for water or basically take a break.
I am trying this every time my husband gets mad at me but it never works. Everything I do is just wrong and makes him scream at me which most of the time leads to me crying. I am just so stuck since all I can think of is "don't make him upset". But then this is not right either. I cook dinner for him and tidy up and even moved to another city far away from my family for him but nothing seems to be enough. I don't know what else to do, moving was already the biggest thing I could imagine I have no more to give... But I will keep on trying...
The Twenty Rules for the Longevity Of a Relationship: 1. Is a wedding ring jurisdiction, handcuffs or a mutual bond of agreement? 2. Don’t break your covenant contract. 3. Those men and women who seek perfection in their mate have life's work ahead of them. 4. Disagreements should be handled with the highest of Statehood. Just Listen. 5. When lost and blind ask God He will answer ye two Never, Never go to bed angry or mad at least hold hands and say a small prayer. For it may just be the last chance you have to tell them how much you really love them. 6. God and Family are your foundation. 7. Never talk at each other but to each other. 8. Life is a lonely place unless it is shared with the love of someone else. 9. If you can't learn to talk no one wins. If you can't openly listen you'll never hear the other side’s feelings. Finding the balance in love and war is the goal. 10. What is the art of longevity in a relationship? It is how that person makes you feel about yourself. You can either support each other or point the finger. 11. Respect is given when respect is earned. 12. Speaking the truth is what allows people to trust you. 13. What is the key to life? Attitude. 14. What is the key to happiness? Accomplishing your goals. 15. True love in a relationship is loving them more than yourself. 16. If I were you and you were me would you still love me? 17. From within the art of smiling; and with one’s eyes there are battles won before they were even fought. 18. What’s the heaviest load a man can carry? A grudge my friend for he cannot see clearly a head because of his pains and becomes an inmate of his quondam’s. 19. There is no one person that can do what a team can do together when striving for the same goals. 20. Children should never be used for a tool of vindictiveness because if something unfortunate happens to you. This child will need all the love one can garner to move on with a healthy mind in life someone they can bank on with a trusted love of peace for their soul. Stand above it all. njd2
Nice video Bruce--not only do you offer a great technique to navigate through charged conversations but your instruction to do so is very good. Thank you! I look forward to more of your videos/information!
I just came across your techniques and I hope they can help, my wife will speak for at least 15 to 30 minutes and when I try to interrupt to reflect/paraphrase she says "Can I finish?" or some other statement to reflect guilt upon me. I've been through anger management and she refuses to follow any of the ideas and makes me feel like I'm belittling her, ignoring her, making her feel lonely. If I can't communicate with her in the way she communicates how do I figure this out? Thank you.
What to do in this stage when they leave??? Being the woman, I don't want to pursue, but i do know it was FA attachment style kicking in. Now he is 2-3 months into dating someone else.😪He wanted to keep me as a close friend but i had to reject that because it hurts too much to see him move on. I told him i loved him and i would miss him. Its hard to believe he doesn't still have feelings or remember what we had. It was unique and very special for both of us. He told me constantly how different and special i was than the women he typically dates/married. His fear is our main problem. I dont wantvto just sit and wait....but it is frustrating to add more minds and bodies and hearts to the equation... we are 55 and 57 years old! He wanted to marry me, just before he bolted. 🤯
Would you do if it's hard to get to the separation stage and she says she needs to see if she's still in love with you no matter what you try seems to get you nowhere
What if the receiver doesn’t think they did anything wrong and that the sender is too sensitive and the receiver doesn’t want to apologize because they don’t think they did anything wrong and that the receiver is who has the problem???
Pure bliss Allow me to ask a question My friend told me he drives by my house everyday and honks I thought nothing of it, the last two weeks I made sure I was up and could hear and recognize when he drove by and honked. I would respond back with the thumbs up emoji to let him know I heard his horn. All of a sudden, last week and this week, I have heard nothing from him. I know he drives past my house, but he doesn't honk anymore. What happened. I'm sure you don't know what happened, I'm just asking.
Hi Bruce, I cany locate these worksheets you speak of in this and your last video. Could you assist me with this? Many thanks.... P.S. I love your videos
So in the situation where the woman was tired, if the receiver of that information isn’t responsive how should the woman respond so she can continue to be responsive and not escalate the conversation? We can only handle ourself and will inevitably end up in a conversation with someone who is unresponsive. What is the best way to respond without getting frustrated?
