Conan The Barbarian - Deusdaecon Reviews 

4:49 -- The "wheel of pain" is for crushing grain into f̶l̶o̶w̶e̶r̶ flour, and it's actually functional. At least, according to the commentary on the DVD.

I've fiercely defended this movie for years because I think it's severely underrated in so many ways. Thanks for pointing out that Conan only speaks a few words to Valeria throughout the film. As many times as I've watched it, that never occurred to me. I think the relationship felt so natural that I never gave the minimal dialogue a second thought. Also, still crushing hard on Sandahl B. Pretty sure she's one of the forces that led me headlong into puberty. (TMI...sorry :D)

you channel seriously deserves more subs

This came out when I was in Jr High School. My English Teacher was also the Movie Critic of our local Newspaper. Wow did we get into an argument over this film. And I was book reader who loved Robert E. Howard and Michael Moorcock type fantasy books so she begrudgingly listened to my side and even agreed with me on a few points why the movie was pretty true to the Conan mythos. One of the best memories of my not so ill spent youth.

I imagine that the notion of Conan's frequency of eating was an idea brought up by Arnold or at least inspired by him. In order to maintain his physique he would be having to eat as frequently if not more frequently than what was shown just to keep his caloric intake up to where it has to be. Its because of this that I imagine that either Arnold suggested the idea or the idea was inspired by Arnold's eating habits to give a sort of realism to Conan's ability to maintain his large physique in the movie (unlike most movies which just imply that his physique is a natural result of his genetic badassness).

Lmao the samurai jack cameo was perfect 👌🏾

You missed a perfect little joke what with Conan constantly being seen eating. *Conan the Culinarian!*

That bit with Aku killed me. That was all I was thinking of when I heard the opening as I was making dinner. Then Aku cut in and I was like "What?! Did it change videos or something?!" Good job. 10 out of 10. Would watch again.

You covered pretty much everything in great detail, kudos. Keeping the name Thulsa Doom probably had more to do with the fact that Oliver Stone used it in his draft, and Milius may have just carried it over from there. Also, you're now trained for a Conan Screenplay Archaeology episode. hehehe

My dad is a huge fan of this movie. When I asked him what the wheel was for, he explained that the Wheel of Pain was made to test their slaves and kill off the weak. Those that survived would be shipped off as gladiators. No idea where he got that info but it works.

I don’t blame you, dude. Mako will forever be known as Aku from Samurai Jack in our hearts.

Fun fact: the vulture that Conan bites and kills was actually a real dead vulture they found and used. They used mouth cleaners after the shot to ensure no diseases or bacteria from the vulture was transmitted.

Thank you. I have loved this one because it was operatic and guiding my young at the time brain through portions of story. That there was so much more I was - and have been - too ignorant to realize that there was more complexity than I realized and additionally so many other things that were added in that I had hesitation to overlook the depth within. Thank you for making something I loved so much more than I realized. Reh

The reason we never see the King again is because he was killed off in a delete scene.

I forgot how well done this movie was, so glad you reviewed it

Just because the Nazi stole aspects of Nietzsche shouldn't have any bearing on his works. Not to mention the Nazi didn't really go by his works the way he intended anyway

What is best in life, Deusdaecon !? - // "Make great reviews - have lots of passionate fans of your work - and leave a great legacy through the many videos !" /// THAT IS GOOD ! :-)

in terms of the crucifixion, that scene was from another Conan story, so a scene drop. Also technically Thulsa Doom might be considered Stygian, which did have some cultural similarities to ancient Egypt. A fun fact if you look at descriptions of Thulsa Doom from the Kull stories he sounds like a certain skull faced villain who also had to deal with a sword sorcery/sci-fi hero.

What Conan beat off the Atlantian sword was the desiccated leather scabbard. That is my guess.

Fun fact. The actress who played Valeria had one of her fingers severed during one of the fight scenes. Another fun fact. Arnold was actually chased down and caught by one of the “ trained “ wolves. It pulled him down the rocks on the tomb of the Atlantians. Last fun fact. That was an actual dead buzzard that Conan bit into on the Tree of Woe. There was some worry that Arnold might catch a disease as they just found the animal on the ground, not knowing why it had died.

when you played the Mumra clip you blew my mind :O

I grew up loving this movie thanks to my dad , still have fond memories.

Ive watched this movie at least 5 times over the years and never once noticed that conan only says two words to the chick

Really like your in depth look at films. This film is one of my favorites. Regarding the snake theme, the transformation is done for effect, both in story and in movie logic. The idea the director spoke of in the making off was that the transformation happens to show (not tell) the audience that Thulsa Doom is not a normal human, not even just a sorcerer, but rather a last member of a dying ancient and lost race (also that's why James Earl Jones uses his air streched in the film), and I actually like that. When I watched this as a kid I also wondered the point of is transformation during that scene, since he "does fuck all as a snake", but it stays with you. To me, he was the god of that cult, not just their Messiah, and that orgy underground temple was their church and probably a representation of their Heaven of the Flesh (since flesh is stronger than steel and all that). So as they "reach god through sex" (like is said in the Da Vinci Code, film), Thulsa makes a miracle, transforming into an animal that is their religious symbol. So like you've said, the movie in trying to create a religion, mixes Christian and Pagan motifs. Regarding the snake arrows, I always assumed, because he talks to them before the get stiff, that they acted (through magic) like heat seaking missiles or intelligent bombs, since they are hunters and alive. That would explain his aim. Of course that they just wanned to create a cool vilain, that is part snake man, shapeshifter, sorceror, and has Saruman's voice powers. For me, they succeeded. By the by, I also always like to think that the snake Conan kills in the tower was not just a snake but also another of Doom's people, which even makes more cold and evil, because he called it a pet.

Chaos Knights with Mark of Slaanesh raiding Norscan village... wait, wrong media.

Great review as usual man. Btw, if you reviewed something like Krampus for christmas that would be really cool. It just seems like the kind of movie you'd review.

It pumped water for that city in the background. So sayeth the novelization.

FWIW, the score of this movie is perfect. You can tell what's happening in the movie from the soundtrack alone.

Mako always makes me think of Uncle Iroh. One of my favorite characters across all of filmdom.

Great Review! I've never realized how great of an actor Arnold is. I've only really known him as the kindergarten cop/terminator guy. Wow. He's got great range in this film.

To be fair... Thulsa Doom sounds WAY cooler than Thoth Amon.

WTF! I watched this movie so many times and never realised Conan practicaly never spoke to his girl. Fantastic writing and also props for pointing it out! Mind blown!

He's gotta keep eating. Gainz bro lol

Regarding King Osric, there is a deleted scene (restored in the "directors cut" otherwise available in the deleted scenes section) in which Osric is killed by Agents of Doom at the time the princess is bound to the rock. She somehow recieves a vision of it (maybe relayed by doom to torment her?) that makes her break free of the enchantment doom put on her.

Same here everytime i hear Makos voice, it is samurai jack and avatar the last airbender.

Also the witch scene is from Bran Mak Morn, another REH character

I think it was not meant that the steal was any mystical, just that the cimerian discovered steal while the other people where still at iron

Great review! You may already know this or someone has mentioned it, but the food-seller at 11:09 was a cameo by the director, John Milius. This movie has always been one of my favorite of this type since I first saw it in the theaters (my wife and I saw it in a movie theater in San Francisco, back when we could smoke in the side aisle seats - how times have changed). I was disappointed that Milius had not directed more movies, but that disappointment was nothing like the second Conan movie.

Regarding the question of whether Conan was really tough or if Thulsa Doom's soldiers had lost their edge since destroying Conan's people, it could be a bit of both. Conan is an exceptional fighter in the stories, and Doom's men had been living the soft life since Doom started his cult of the serpent scam. Lazing about while being waited on hand and foot with frequent breaks for wild orgies is not a training regimen the Spartans would have approved.

I know this is old, but that coating on the Atlantian sword was just it's rotted and dried leather sheath ... everybody thinks it;s rust or something, but no, just the old leather sheath. As for the sword being pristine; I always just attributed that to it being of Atlantian origins ...

Wait... Crom lives on a mountain, not in the Earth - the Giants lived in the Earth. So looking up would be the right direction...

The wheel grinds grain

Great, and entertaining review of a great, entertaining movie. The heady days of fantasy epics and D&D :)

Actually his father misunderstood the Riddle of Steal, or rather, had the wrong answer. That's why the sword breaks and is discarded at the end.

“That’s just **** pillow talk” Yeah talk about your violent foreplay…

I have the Conan sword 0471/5000 collectors edition, really proud(happy) to own it.

In the OG comics, the dead king with the sword comes alive.

This is such a boss movie, I wore out my vhs copy back in the day

Why do so many people claim the Wheel of Pain is pointless? If you look at the thing, you can see that it's driving millstones and thus is used to grind grain. This is also mentioned in the novelization BTW, but it's pretty visible in the movie and should be self-explanatory.

James Earl Jones has played two huge villains. Darth Vader and Thulsa Doom.

I think the 2 snake heads facing its other is a very common symbol in the ancient world...

"Dude can't act...or speak English." "Fuck it- make him a mute!" "GENIUS! He can't flub lines we don't give him!"

Absolutely great review! This has been my favorite movie since I was 4 years old. Yes I was allowed to watch this but not nightmare on elm st or any Jason movies lol. It took me about 15 yrs to realize Conan's mother had her head cut off, I honestly thought she ran away and abandoned him. Also was Doom recruiting followers to replenish their food supply since they are clearly cannibals? Anyway, imo this is Arnold's and James Earl Jones best work and thank u for all the details u go into in making this review!

I always liked the idea that the sword was supposed to be good because it was an iron based minor steel sword in a world of bronze/ shitty metal blades with the atlantian steel being high grade true steel beyond what was possible for blacksmiths of the setting.

Well Valeria is an original Howard creation and it would be nice for Ibis to appear together with Set to create the balance between them the two main God's of the setting. The best way is to get a proper anime to do justice to the mythos

Huh. References to both Samurai Jack AND Thunder Cats in a review of Conan the Barbarian (1982)? Why have I not watched this review sooner?

Great review. If your next review is the movie I think it is I wish you luck. Never have I seen a promising series been mishandled more.

That's the thing. Conan's father was WRONG. The sword betrays the creator. Thulsa was wrong, flesh can be manipulated, twisted and killed. The answer to the riddle of steel is Will. It is Will that raised Conan from slave to warrior, raised him from the dead, had him kill Thulsa. It is not steel or flesh, but Willpower. Also that throw at the end was legit. They didn't know it was gonna catch fire, but the set did.

27:55 Ignore the silly man, he's from the past. He doesn't know that Legend of Conan has since been cancelled.

To clear up a few questions.. Conan meets Thoth numerous times during the book series, often 'stumbling' into Thoth's plots almost be accident. Doom has Conan placed upon the Tree of Woe most likely due to the fact that Conan is indeed crucified during one of the book series tales (Book #3: The Freebooter - A Witch Shall Be Born). In that story a scouting force of Zuagir Raiders find him on a tree/cross and offer to take him with them should they chop the tree down, without first releasing him from the his bonds, and he somehow survives the impact (which his powerful Cimmerian sinewy musculature allows him to miraculously do just that). Then the bastards force him to march ten miles to their camp before allowing him to drink any water from their packs. *nice guys* Conan's Father was, in this film at least, said to be a master smith... but weapons of the Hyborian Age vs Atlantean Steel? No contest in the slightest. Doom's final statement of Burning Your Way to Paradise is not commonly seen as only a lead-in to mass suicide. It is said that he wants them to go out and cleanse their leaders & judges. This is a call to war where the cultists will bring the Gleam in the Eye of Set to the civilized cities of Man and burn them all to ashes.

keep up with the reviews my man.

great review, I have always enjoyed this movie and it great to hear your take on it.

I grew up with Samurai Jack and Avatar: The Last Airbender so whenever I hear Mako, I think Uncle Iroh and The Shapeshifter.

Excellent choice. Will be cinemas failing to have not made King Conan before Arnold goes in search of Crom. The remake should have been binned for King Conan.

Yay, another movie review! :)

Mum-Ra cameo!

A tiny detail that flies under the radar upon most viewings: Conan is chased by wolves, Conan falls into a tomb and recovers a sword, Conan cuts chains loose and stares at wolves. Next scene: Conan is wearing wolf furs and has a wolfskin scabbard for his sword. Seriously, fuck a buncha goddamned wolves.

6:33 I wish i could go back in time and replace that actress with Cassandra Peterson/aka Elvira. You know why.

Great review as always. Just curious, are you a fan of Phelous? Your review style reminds me a bit of his, with a little less sarcasm and a little more information.

I always thought the easy break sword conan's father made was supposed to be a practice blade and/or motivation to forge his own sword... a better sword... with blackjack.

Now you just need to review Kull

27:06 Ha! I guess the Force wasn't so strong in that one. XD

These days, Arnold could just about play Terry Pratchett's Cohen the Barbarian who's 80 years old, has lost all his teeth and can do very little except "sh*t and eat shoup". What is good in life? "Hot water, good dentishtry and shoft lavatory paper."

I think Tulsa had a vision of what was coming and legged it. He thought his minions could handle it

That was worth a subscribe. This movie is so underappreciated.

Oh yes. I needed a new review.

He's pushing The Wheel of Time.

you know, that prayer to crom that conan says, particularly the part where he says "and if you don't, to hell with you" reminds me of the cult of saint death here in south america, specifically that they view saint death as a pershnickety little shit who has to be tempted into providing favors with booze or cigars, and punished if he disobeys

They need to do Conan the Legend where now he has to learn to be a leader less than a fighter and, in doing so, leads people to defeat an evil tyranny and thus, them making him their king and ending the saga. I mean he'll still do some fighting but, go easy. The man's working on his 8th quadruple bypass.

I'd never even noticed that thing about the dialogue with Valeria. I was so sure there was something else, but there isn't. So yeah, kudos to the movie for brainwashing me into thinking stuff was there that wasn't. "Why didn't they just name him Thoth-Amon to begin with?" Say it out loud. Thulsa-Doom does just sound that much badder.

That mechanism at the beginning that goes nowhere from my understanding is intended just to break the will of slaves

Have you ever seen Kull the Conqueror starring Kevin Sorbo?

The Wheel of Pain was to mill grains

Will you do the sequel? Also Red Sonia.

Great movie review will you review anymore horror films?? I'm a big horror fan and would like to see some more horror films reviewed by yourself 👍🏽👍🏽

Civilisation, ancient and wicked!

Actually Thulsa Doom answered wrong too. The real answer to riddle of steel is WILL. Will controls flesh and flesh controls steel. So sorry Thulsa Doom but you are wrong.

I think the tombs are called mounds

Genghis Khan's first name meant "finest steel"? Bet that was hella embarrassing when he died from a nose bleed

Nice review

James Earl Jones the voice of Darth vader and mufasa vs Arnold Schwarzenegger the terminator/ John Matrix /Dutch/ Ben Richards/Douglas Quaid/ Mr. Freezei'm a fan of both of these actors great video Deusdaecon Reviews i give this a like

Which one came first Conan or Kull? Was it a Conan story adapted to become a Kull story that gave birth to Kull or vice versa?

hey I'm Macedonian nice seeing a mention of my nation even in this

You should do Red Sonya & Christine next.

To be fair, it's really REALLY fun to reduce Arnold down to the stereotype. And it's not like a lot of his work worked on showing his range.

damn, I was taking a drink during ackoo. That was amazing

"Yes My Child, Come to ME, Stare Deep into the Spinning Cakes..."

I will stop watching this cuz I wanted to rewatch. Thanks

What would you say about the remake (of Conan)?

God I loved this movie