Controversial Parenting Techniques I Follow 

"No good or bad habits, only those you choose to live with", - we failed miserably at a week of sleep training very recently and so that may be a life-changing quote for me.

one of the best pieces of parenting advice i received is that the world is a noisy place; you have to learn to quiet the noise in order to listen to your own instincts when it comes to your baby. that said, i didn't find anything about this video controversial!

I was surprised after having my baby a couple months ago with the Amount of judgement you'll receive. I held my newborn basically all day those first few weeks as I couldn't get enough of him and so many mothers, especially older ones had mean things to say. I dont regret it at all. It helped our bonding and breastfeeding journey so much!

I love how positive you are about things. Some mum based communities can become very toxic and mum shamey, and you are the total opposite of that. Every mum should make decisions best for them and their child, like you say not many things have strict rights and wrongs

Moms get the most hate out of anyone on the internet these days. I think you’re doing a great job! Thanks for sharing 😊

As a parent educator, when it comes to sleep routines or whatever, I always just suggest parents stick to something that ALL caregivers can get on board with. If childcare/grandparents/whoever aren't willing to feed or rock to sleep, try not to get into the habit yourself. If you are the only caregiver or if everyone is on board than do whatever. Just keep it consistent between everyone

Just wanna say your shirt is absolutely gorgeous on you. The color, the fit and all. Xx

I totally agree with you that there’s really no hard of fast rules for a lot of these things and you just do what works best for you and your baby! Not every parent and baby are the same!!

Nursing to sleep is amazing and I live by it. My baby girl is 2 months and she sleeps 7-8 hours at night. Awesome vid ❤️❤️

I always appreciate your practical thinking! I usually have a show on in the background and my 1 year old still could care less about the TV. My aunt used to be very strict about screen time with her 6 kids and they would turn into TV zombies when it was turned on. Lol Love these style of videos!

Thank you, thank you!!! There is so much stuff on the internet and if you take it all on it takes it's toll. Mama’s do you, no one else is living your life.

Really love your boldness in this video! When our little one arrives, we'll be following lots of similar sleep training methods and we're doing a combo method of sleeping, where she'll sleep in the bassinet next to us at night time and in her crib in her room during the day!

Ash, the thing I wish I could have had earlier on with my now 4 month old is the confidence to just listen to my own motherly instincts. Your parenting style and methods and mine are very similar if not the same in each category! We moved him to his room at 2.5 months because he outgrew his bassinet as well. He sleeps better and when he doesn’t we time it before we go in there and he can usually get himself back down without help. I feel the exact same about screen time! My husband and I like to play video games and watch tv/have something on in the background. At first I was scared when he would just stare at the screen, but he still loves playing with his toys and looking at our faces too. I don’t want to shield him from it but I would like to moderate it when possible. We haven’t started solids yet, but we’ve been trying oatmeal and rice cereal and that’s been interesting...he just lets it drool out of his mouth. Lol. I want to try BLW as well but his daycare that he goes to M-F only does purées so we might be doing a mix of them as well! Thanks for your videos. They are super relaxing and reassuring to watch!

I love that you tell it how it is for you. You say what works for you with no bs no fluffing it up. I respect you a lot. I am 35 weeks today and you make things feel so much more realistic for myself approaching motherhood.

Great things to even bring up to think about. I’m a mom of a 2 month old and just starting to think about what I want to do concerning these topics. Thank you for bringing these things to awareness!

Love this! We put our son at one month old in his room and we all slept better! He is 4 months old now and we just started sleep training too!

Always look forward to your videos! I love your moderate take on things, parents need less judgement and more support! I was so concerned with doing everything "right" with my first and I was so stressed out. Looking forward to just doing what's best for us this second time around and just enjoying and loving my baby.

Thank you so much! Such good advice to follow gut feeling and own instincts. I feel like this is just really down to earth, real life, honest advice! Love it!

Thank you for sharing what you do on a lot of the iffy topics that are going to be something I have to decide. This is definitely going to be a saved video.

I was completely taken by surprise by screen time being so early. I honestly didn’t think about hiding the tv from him until he was about 3 months old. Now he watches TV some times and sometimes it plays Pandora music for us. I always thought about screen time as iPads and such but I keep the TV a lot for background noise too so it didn’t occur to me! Also my son never slept in our room, he slept in the living room with a parent until he was 6 weeks old, then he started sleeping in his crib by himself with his monitor on. I felt like I was doing it “wrong” but it was working so well do us! I couldn’t find anyone on the internet who agreed with me either so thank you for posting about this!

I thought it was amazing how many thing I had in common with you with our little one (he is 8 months). I tend to land in the middle ground on a lot of those topics as well. I love your mentality and totally think all your advice is great.

I nurse to sleep, co-sleep, bf on demand. It helps me be a better this way, and I do what feels natural as I feel all moms should❤️ trust the momma gut, no one know your baby better than you!

I’m literally going through this rn. My baby is 4wks old, and he cannot sleep on his own whatsoever. This whole month I received so much judgement I was not ready for: You cannot let you baby cry to sleep. You cannot rock or nurse baby to sleep. You cannot hold him while baby is sleep. Absolutely no co-sleeping. Never ever let your baby unattended in a swing/lounger. Wrap carrier will only spoil your baby. Don’t give pacifier, or it will forever be a crutch. Don’t give formula. Don’t give a bottle. Give up on breastfeeding, it’s not for everyone. You should NOT use that carrier/swaddle/paci/bottle/etc. Just endless advice and judgement. Although, some of these are true; WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO!?!?!??? I let other people’s opinions get to me, and I ended up sleep deprived, and absolutely feeling hopeless, and felt like a terrible mother the first 4weeks. I think this happens so often for first time parents. But I don’t think it should be that way. My sanity needs to be intact to keep my baby safe. If I’m broken, the baby will be at much higher risk. At the end of the day, we gota do what we gota do as parents think is safe, and good for the child. We are trying our best.

I love this video!! This is the content I come here for! Your parenting style sounds a lot like mine, I would have moved my daughter into her room earlier than a year but due to health conditions I couldn’t

Everything we see and hear on the internet about parenting makes us question the way we do things most of the time. Especially because people a lot of the are following trends. I am glad you made this video. Super straight forward. I don't know why there are some moms that really think there is a right way to parent. It really just comes down to what works for you and your baby. Thank you for this video. I love your energy.

I’m due in one week and I have had the same thoughts pretty much about everything you discussed. I hope they work in practice with our baby too 😆 Thanks for making these videos, I’ve enjoyed them so much during my pregnancy ❤️

We do a mixture of pureés and finger foods - the book we have been referencing calls it "Baby-Led Feeding" and I am finding it to be so much less pressure.

My opinion is that people have too many opinions about other mom’s business 🤔 everyone has different circumstances, babies, lifestyles, partners, literally everything! I always follow my instincts paired with my own research, but it’s most important to follow my baby! 💕 Nursing my baby to sleep is the only time I get cuddles now.

Got to say, I raised my eyebrow at a few of your choices. But they are your choices, and they come from a place of love (which is the most important thing always!). Thanks for sharing, I love your videos!!

Great video! We also let our baby watch baby videos. He loves them and also isn't as interested as he was from the first time. I felt bad at first when my friends told me they don't do that, but then I found it to be okay once I gave into what our family decided for ourselves.

Thanks for sharing! glad to hear alternatives. We started teaching independent sleep at 8 weeks and my goodness that was the best decision for our family. There are Facebook groups that help support families who wanna "sleep train" early. Some even start a birth. I'm also looking into elimination communication. Not sure about that yet

It also depeneds on if your baby is neurotipical. We're gonna be trying EC and sign language.

I love your attitude about these topics! No aspect of child rearing is going to be one size fits all. I am due any time now, and I had not thought about the issue of screen time!

I like your view on not limiting screen time so that it becomes something to obsess over. I totally know where you are coming from. I was never allowed sugary cereal, or chips growing up so when I would be at a sleep over or some holiday party, or my parents would buy it very rarely as a treat, it was a MESS. Like imagine 4 siblings fighting over the last sweet cereal left in the box. It was nuts. Or the chips, “you’re eating too fast, that’s not fair” and so then you speed up to match siblings and you’re just out into this obsessive condition. Still affects me today so I avoid having this things in my weekly groceries.

I agree with all your points. I’m pretty much doing the same things as you except we are three months behind. 🙂

I'm the same when it comes to food this time around. Started purees at about 4.5 months mostly so his dad could feed him and feel included. When he turns 6+ months we'll start letting him feed himself.

Do what works for you I agree with a big portion of this video and I love that it is not controversial. We did the baby led sleep training it works for us. I agree with so much of what you said. And yes it is ok to have your child in their own room at 3 months of age it gives you and Josh your own space and privacy as well; I still have my daughter in my room because of her cleft and ng tube if she didnt have those things then we would have trained her to sleep in her bedroom the same age. I do enjoy your videos and cant wait to watch more videos.

You’re always so real I love it

We just got our baby through the Ferber method and I think I cried just as much as him but it was totally worth it because he’s a happier baby and I get more 😴

I'm so grateful you talked about sleep! I'm due at the end of February and I know that sleep is a hot topic between my husband and I. I have some strong views about bedtime and I want some sort of sleep training to happen. But my husband (and his family) dont have the same thoughts as I do. He has a 5 year old sister and she goes to sleep at like 10:30-11pm. It's so stressful to sleep over at my in laws because of this. I love my little sister in law and my inlaws but I'm so stressed and worried to bring my own baby over for weekends and holidays. This video gave me a lot of comfort. Thank you.

We did the same loving method of sleep training! Worked for us. We also moved our first baby to his crib, at three months, but starting with his naps during the day. I wish someone had told me- don’t stress about your baby missing a nap. Or when they drop a nap. Some days will be like that- due to environment or schedule changes & leaps!♥️

I totally agree with you on all the topics. I did love nursing my baby to sleep, but by the 5th month mark it was time to sleep train. And now that my baby is 18 months and officially weaned from breastfeeding, sometimes I think about those nights where I would nurse her to sleep and I miss it so much!

Could you please do another more detailed video on your sleep training. Especially for naps. Really struggling but mainly because I feel like I’m doing the wrong thing even though I have researched to the max. Just need like you someone to share their experience x

Thank you!

I think we moved our baby into his own nursery at 2 months old, he just wasn't sleeping well in the cradle, and so for my sake we moved him over and never looked back! I honestly think to myself whenever I come upon some aspect of parenting that i'm not sure which side to side with, "I was made to be a mom! Go with your gut!"

Yeah a new video! Greetings from Germany ♥️

Great video! Nice way to say things😊! Totally unrelated, but I've been an embarassing amount of time, trying to clean a "hair" in the screen...🤣. It's a cord (I think) in your home

Okay, why aren't we neighbors because I feel like we would be such good mama friends because after watching this video, every point you made was pretty much spot on with my philosophy on things with my 8-month-old. Girl.. you made the video that I didn't even know I needed to watch 👏🏽😭

Everyone I know bed shares. Most of the world bed shares. I get so much sleep bed sharing. And when done correctly is safe. For some people that is what works and if you want to it should be okay not an accident that leads to real danger.

love listening to you. i learn so much from your channel. i have a 3 month old and i love seeing what Rook is doing and i can look forward to what will be happening next. with Covid im not interacting with other mums and seeing what their babies are doing so this channel is just what i need!! THANKS!!

No hate. Just support. Thanks for sharing 💜

We have very similar parenting styles 👍🏽

I let my baby have little bit of screen time . Mostly sensory videos like hey bear! She really enjoys them but she does get distracted with other things now like toys . Screen time is quite hard for me to prevent & sleeping in her own room because I live in a one bedroom . But my baby has been sleeping in her crib since day one ! :) thanks loved this video .

We moved our girl into her own room/crib at 3weeks because she hated/was too big for her bassinet😂 buut she's in a pack in play in our bedroom now and she's 2months.. only because I was getting paranoid after she got a cold😂 you do you girl! He's your baby!

Thank you for making this. I do actually use screen time with my 10 week old; When she is bored I try tummy time, independent play in her pac n play and then some times when I need hands free time I let her watch some “Hey Bear” high contrast cartoons on RU-vid. As you said, we gotta do what feels right to us as moms so we can be better to our babies. No judgement here! Just one question re sleep training and baby sleeping through the night... do you use different diapers at night? She used to sleep through the night but now she wakes up every three hours and I feed her but she always has a super heavy soaked diaper... wondering if a night time one might let her sleep longer stretches.

Talented Insightful Thoughtful Scientific

Whatever works for you, it's fine, especially if you're giving your baby love and in not neglected. As other posters said, mums get a lot of crap for whatever they do with their children. Keep doing what you're doing. Your baby seems really happy and healthy.

oh gosh... i just found out that im gonna have to down my own screen time when my baby is born. Im the kind of person that has the tv on while watching yt on my laptop and scrolling ig on my phone :p whooppsyy!! i dont want that to be the example for my baby but i think its going to be harder for me then for my baby hahaha

I much prefer these types of videos (whether I agree or not for my own baby) than the parts where you have your breakfast or do cleaning (no offense). You should definitely do more videos like this or featuring playtime with baby ;-) A lot of mummies out there wonder how to fill the awake time with their little ones

Couldn't have clicked on this video any quicker ❤

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When did you do the sleep training?

When did you sleep train? I heard you say he was moved into his own room at 3 months but did you sleep train before, after, or during this time? I'd love to know! Thanks! Awesome video!

Brave 👌

Honestly I didn't find that too controversial but maybe that's because I do or did a lot of the same things. We did purees from 5-7 mo then did a combination BLW and purees for a few months before switching entirely to BLW. We do have a sleep routine but it consists of: Diaper change, brushing teeth, books, then bed so not too drawn out. We didn't sleep train but to be honest my daughter never needed it really. I never really understood why some people saved scree time for "special times" or times when they needed to get things done until I realized that their kids actually like and watch tv, the tv is literally always on in our house and the vast majority of the time no one is ever watching it actually. She rarely if ever pays attention to it. I think you find the things that work for your kid and as long as its not actively hurting them or putting them directly in harm that you have been warned about then they will probably be fine. I wish I had moved my daughter out of my room earlier but my anxiety was super high around that topic and I could only bring myself to do it when she was about 5 mo.

I’m literally SURVIVING these days I’m from Quebec and we are just stuck inside no outside socializing. My son is 1 and won’t let me put him down and my daughter is 2,,, TERRIBLE TWOS I love her but Ouf! So she gets screen time so I can actually breathe

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I don't think the research backs up the theory that if you give your kid some screen time they'll be less obsessed with it later on. I don't really see too big an issue with what you're doing though. There's a big difference between having a movie on in the background and handing your baby an iPad with youtube kids on.

My oldest son went to his own room at 3 months old - he was a good sleeper and totally ready for it. All babies are different, you gotta do whatever works for you. Omg, I'm totally with you on the, if mom doesn't sleep she can't be a good mom thing. At some point, something's gotta give when mom isn't sleeping. This is the one and only time living in a small house has been a struggle for us. We have two school-aged children and we tried the Ferber method for Jack. It was working pretty well on the weekend when we started because our older kids spent the nights at grandparent's/friend's houses. It all went to hell come Sunday night when the kids had to sleep for school and we could no longer let Jack cry for even a minute without waking them up 😆. For now, I'm back to trying to get as much sleep as possible nursing him back to sleep throughout the night but we'll probably try again in the coming months, likely when school is out for summer 😆. Thank you for not being afraid to talk about the hard stuff!

I didn’t find this video controversial at all! The only thing I disagree with is sleep training. I don’t practice that with my baby.

I don't agree with you in many things but Im also an advocate for " whatever works for you to be a better mom is what you have to do" 💪☺️ we all do what we think is best and in the future only our children we'll tell us the good or bad things we've done. ( I hope I make sense I'm learning my fifth language and my English dooooown)

I am from Europe (Austria/Germany) and you don't do sleep training here. At least I have never met a family doing that... And it's true, you harm your babies attachment if you let it cry and don't sooth it. The Baby just learns that it can not expect from you to help him if he needs you so after I while it stops crying at night time. (I am a psychologist and I work with families and children, so I consider myself kind of educated in that field)

51 Family Channel 52 teletoon 57 treehouse 😂😂 Don't ask what was between 52 and 57 because I'm pretty sure it was nothing lol.

Hi! I just needed to respectfully say a few things about sleep training: It works. Actually, that is the dangerous part. It works well for the adult, but the baby just understands that they will be alone and have to figure out how to deal with that in an unhealthy way. There is plenty of research about the emotional struggle it causes to children to be left alone when in need of emotional support (not just someone`s thought). They will understand they just can`t count on his attachment figure when afraid/sad or just in need of company. I know in Canada and USA they use it a lot, but in terms of the child`s emotional development, it is very dangerous. Not judging, just trying to clarify about that info. We have to make lots of choices as new moms, but need to be informed decisions. I just wanted to stand against a detrimental and common adult`s behaviour these days. We live in an adult-centred world, but children have their needs too, and sometimes to fulfil those needs the adult/parent has to take the uncomfortable choice for themselves. Teacher speaking :). Thanks for reading. :)

I didnt realize putting your baby in their own room was controversial, when our girl is born she'll be in her own crib and room from day one. Theres just no room in our bedroom for a bassinet and we are against cosleeping.

Wow! I just watched this video and I a shook! The things you advocated are outrageous 😡😡😡