I know this is an old post, but I wanted to thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your story. My husband of 4 years left me last week, and I am pretty confident that this has been the hardest week I have ever experienced. I have gotten set up with a counselor, trying to surround myself with family, and trying my best to take care of myself but it is significantly harder than I ever could have anticipated. Found out yesterday that we would never reconcile due to him meeting another women. Feeling very lost. Seeing your content has helped a bit, so thank you.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. This is not an experience I’d wish on my worst enemies. All I can tell you is this: it’s been 9 years for me since my divorce and I sincerely feel like I’m in a better place now than I’ve ever been. It was hard at first, but eventually I bounced back and rebuilt even better. Don’t give up on yourself and believe you can make it through…if you’re willing to put in the work. Good luck!
Hey, I can relate. My soon to be ex husband took all his stress out on me. From deployment, to me, to his mom.. we were all his stresses. And she didn’t like me anymore so the manipulations started happening and he was my life. I moved states for him. I gave up EVERYTHING because he begged me to. Just to be alone again. With nothing while he has everything. It’s been tough and he’s leaving on deployment soon. I’ve been up and down and down and up for the last 2 months. While he ignores me. It’s been tough af. So I understand
@@dessic6191 it's sad to say that your story is so familiar to me. Unfortunately, after 22 years of military service, I've seen these stories play out time and time again. If there's still hope for saving your marriage through counseling or other means, I hope that you do. Otherwise, I hope that you're able to move on and live the life you deserve. I wish you the very best as you figure this out.
@@LivingMAD I wish there was, but with his mom over his shoulder there’s no chance. She coddles and gets things done. She makes his appointments and does his paperwork again now that I’m gone. Schedules his life. Before I left I told her all the damage she helped do to our marriage. I’m willing to, but she already got him a lawyer and papers were delivered to me a month after I was gone (it’s going on 2 months apart). I hope he reaches out to me when he’s away from her. He hasn’t even replied to the messages I did send him. I don’t think there’s hope, especially is she’s there
@@dessic6191 Only knowing one side of the story, it sounds like he's involved in a toxic relationship with his own mother. That's unfortunate; but if that's the case, it's probably best you move away and carry on with your life. It will be difficult for sure, but in the end it may be the best thing for your own mental and emotional health. I sincerely hope you figure it all out and find happiness at some point.
Sigh.....I don't even know where to start. My now ex-wife told me she didn't love me anymore one December morning in 2014. We had been married 14 years at that point. It was the beginning of the end for us. She officially left me in September of 2015, after I discovered her affair. I knew something was up, because none of her reasons for wanting out made sense. I'll spare you the emotional details but what I can tell you is that you are right on about the depression and emptiness feeling. We share four kids together, our youngest at the time was just two. It was, by FAR, the most painful heartbreak I've ever felt. Today, six years later, I am better, but still I think of what went wrong. In the end, I realize I did everything to make her happy, but there was no holding her back. Accepting defeat and letting her go was equivalent to mourning the death of a loved one. I cried, a lot, just like you and many others. I never want to experience that type of pain ever in my life again. Thank you for this video, It really hit home, even after six years alone; which tells me that these situations are not easy to recover from. Anyhow, today, after watching and listening to you, I am inspired to do great things and try and help others who are also on this heartbreak train. I've been wanting to start my own channel and speak about this big issue. I know there are millions out there suffering from a falling apart marriage or already in the divorce process. You've ignited a flame in me to seek out and suppot others in need. Thank you so much for sharing, you are helping and making a difference in people's lives.
Please ignore the comments asking you to call some random what's up #. It's all spam. I'm sorry you ended up joining this miserable club of divorcees. If you decide to start your own channel about this, please send me a message and let me know. You will have a loyal follower from day one. We need more men sharing our stories so that we can help normalize everything we go through. Too many of us end up depressed and suicidal because we feel all alone and have no one to talk to. Maybe, just maybe, we can make a positive dent on this issue. Good luck brother.
@@abrahamwalton8244 I remember those days when it seemed pointless to get up and go to bed. Sleeping alone on the couch didn’t feel quite as lonely as sleeping alone on the bed. I feel for you bro. All I can say is focus on getting through each day, focus on making yourself better little by little, and trust that you’ll make it through.
I needed this comfort. Thank you. Wife left me yesterday. EDIT: thank you all for the amazing support. Brought tears to my eyes. Stay strong everyone....and thank you again.
Me and my husband have been married for 29 years. Divorce has come up several times. By the grace of god we are still going strong. The Bible teaches to love ❤️ the lord thy god with all of your heart ,mind, soul, and strength. When you obey God word you will be able to conquer anything that life throws at you. Sometimes you can love a person with all of your heart, mind, soul and strength. God commands that we love him like that. What lm saying is trust God in all things and God will give you the peace that you need to endure in every situation. Amen 🙏🏽
I can't sleep right now, this feels like a nightmare I'm gonna wake from.. She finally admitted to me that she cheated although it was just a kiss that happened 18 months ago, I sensed something was going on and I'm pretty sure that she's done more than just that.. We were at the point of life getting good.. She graduates in a couple of months.. Half my life spent with this woman, 2 small children.. I feel alone, my friends are far away. I am broken
Is painful when I realized that l didn't appreciate my wife ( soon ex wife) l had everything with her a beautiful daughter, l didn't listened to her l didn't supported her the way she wanted, now is to late she doesn't love me anymore and l still love her
It’s great that you’re able to recognize your failures brother. That’s not an easy thing to do. Maybe it’s not too late to repair your marriage, but if it is, you recognizing where you went wrong is still a big accomplishment that will help you be a better man in the future.
Man I'm literally going through the same thing. Me and my wife been together since high school have 2 kids our son is a sophomore in university and our daughter is 11. I felt comfortable believing shed always be there no matter what I did and basically I didn't show her enough love or anything, even tho I love her more than anything.
I am going thru the same thing. I didn't treat her right and now she's lost all the love she had for me. She walked out on me and she's blocked me on social media and her phone. I am so torn and broken 😢
Many people would agree with you and live perfectly happy, but I don’t think that’s the answer for everyone. It’s all an individual choice. Unfortunately, for many of us, it ends in divorce.
I appreciate what you are saying and think your insights are true. However, I’m not going to enter another relationship. This was and is too brutal. I was married for close to 17 years and knew her for a few years before hand. So closer to 20 years. Thought my marriage was forever. God bless you for this video. I do appreciate it. It is very hard to find information that comes from the heart. Obviously this is coming from your heart.
Thank you for watching. It was hard sharing this on such a public forum. But us men tend to have a hard time sharing our vulnerabilities. I hope you got something out of it and I’m sorry to hear about your own divorce. I hope you eventually reach the other side and can move past the pain of divorce.
Gregory Hill I agree. Unfortunately too many of us, both men and women, stay in marriages that are not meant to last. I’m not saying that’s what happened in his case, but highlighting the fact that marriages can fail at many stages of life. It sucks and hurts no matter what.
Wow Scott my wife just left 5 days ago after 17 years of marriage and I feel completely empty and worthless. I haven’t cried this much since I was a baby.
Same. My wife and I are divorcing after 17 years of being together. I’m a mess, I can’t bear the thought of not being around my kids every day. Thanks for the video though, I really feel a bit better after listening to that.
therock007dmx it’s amazing how much a man can cry until crying feels like it’s all we can do. Some might see it as weakness, but I think there are definitely times when it’s more than appropriate for us to cry and release some of the pain we feel.
Thanks for the video. Married 28 years and we separated in November 2020. Thought time apart would give us time to reflect and maybe start over. But just 2 months after our separation she started dating and sleeping with others. I can never go back. Now I have to figure out a way to leave the past behind and start again. This is the most painful experience I've ever had to face. My thoughts and visions won't stop. I know time heals but feel like time is moving very slowly. This is extremely difficult especially when you still love your former life partner. Trying to survive!
28 years? Wow! That’s incredible. On top of everything we’ve had to endure this past year, divorce can’t possibly make it any better. I’m sorry brother. Please stay strong and keep moving forward. As hard as all this is, you can’t give up. The pain can subside, but you’ve got to put in the work to make that happen.
Hi Jerry, unfortunately this is the problem with men. Once men love a women the bond is strong permanently in a way. Women never love men but they look at you as a provider and protector. They can easily move on since they don't love you. Just focus on your work and rebuild your foundation. There is a 30 yr old girl out there who wants to be with a man who's 50. So always look on the brighter side on bad situations.
The response to this video tells me there are many others dealing with similar situations. I hope sharing my experiences helps others; it has certainly helped me. It’s been a long journey, and the 2.5 years that have passed since I made this video have brought about many changes (some good…some bad). Soon, I will be making new videos sharing my journey the last few years in the hopes of connecting with you all and many others. They say that pain shared is pain halved and I can honestly say that sharing this video was helpful for me. It didn’t solve all my issues or make all my pain go away, but it did help me release some of my pain/frustrations. I welcome you all to check out my upcoming videos where I will try my best to remain vulnerable as I share more of my life with you. The first video will likely be out later today. Thank you everyone for your continued support and I hope to keep the conversations going.
The bad days will likely continue for a while. Just hold on long enough to the next good day. One good day at a time, with the hope that the good days begin to outnumber the bad.
@@hamedm.5761 I'm in the same situation. I have no friends or family where I live. I feel so broken, lonely, depressed and have major anxiety attacks. I don't know how much more of this pain I can take ☹️
so im going throught divorce.....im so scared lost and ansious but above all sad and comfused,and ultimately i dont know how to grab 24 years of marriage and throw it on the garbage...how do you let go from all the moments all the memories and all the dreams all the content from my story and chop it???...i will be empty i feel like a empty book a empty person,worthless i really dont know what to expect and im so scared and lost..I wish all the very best to all broken hearts out there
It’s been six months since you left this comment. How are you coping now? I hope you’re making it through and staying in the fight somehow. 24 years is a very long time to have to start over. As hard as it was for me, I can only imagine what it’s like for you. I’m keeping you in my thoughts.
Thanks for sharing. I've been separated a year. Divorcing soon. Some days I'm fine, some days I'm not. It's sad to know that the feeling of lose will always be there but I guess it'll just be something I live with.
I can't honestly say the feelings of loss go away, but it does get easier with time. It has for me and I think if you focus on the future, it can for you as well. Take care and good luck moving forward brother.
This is heartbreaking to read. I’m sorry you’re going through this. In my experience and talking with others, chances are things will get better for you. But you have to stick with the therapy and focus on getting through it in a positive way. My thoughts are with you brother.
Thank you for watching. I get what you’re saying, but I still believe in marriage. And the fact remains, many if not most people, will still marry. So I think it’s important we focus on trying to make those marriages work vice giving up on marriage entirely. But that’s just my opinion. I appreciate your point of view.
Living MAD There’s no benefits to marriage. If you truly love that person, just stay with them. No need to get the courts involved. Relationships nowadays don’t last anywhere near as long as before so why make it difficult to part ways by getting married?
TheGamingAudiophile I understand your reasoning. A lot of couples live happily ever after without getting married. I think that’s a positive alternative for many, but not for all. I personally prefer to be legally married. I know it can complicate things and I fully understand you can express love for one another and live happy without it...it’s just a personal preference. But for those who getting legally married is not a must, your advice makes sense and can certainly lead to happiness.
My fear is I will end up with a man who wants a divorce. I don’t believe in divorce. It’s against my faith. The only way I’d divorce is if my husband became abusive. I only hope I find a man who has this same commitment to God and will not divorce.
i was married for 23 years, gave her 3 homes,faithful,luxury cars,clothes,vacations and she was never happy and after she turned 40 it got much worst, when i finally stood up to her verbal abuse towards me she handed me the divorce papers, i never shed a tear and promptly signed the divorce papers back to her, she applied parental alienation on me and got my children against me and i left to mexico and found a beautiful younger woman that is ALWAYS happy, go to mexico and find a traditional old fashion wife and don't waste your time with these modern US woman, i am more happy living in mexico
That's terrible. I'm sorry you had to go through that. If she wasn't happy and you were giving it your all, that's not on you. It's different if you are the reason for her unhappiness, but if you're a good husband and she's unhappy, then the issue might lie within her. We all bear responsibility for our own happiness. Being in the military I've had a lot of friends marry women from other countries. Some have worked out well, others have been a complete failure. Still, it's certainly an option worth considering for some. I'm happy to see it's worked out so well for you. I met my current wife in the U.S., but she too is Mexican. I do believe there are some good women in the U.S. Every country has its fair share of good and bad people. Sometimes it's a matter of figuring out what it is we're looking for and being the kind of person that draws that kind of person toward you. Thanks for watching my video and for taking the time to comment. Your support is much appreciated.
I’m 37 going through a very difficult time, I still love him so much and he left me after 5 years of marriage, feel my life is over, have depression and very sad💔💔
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. There’s nothing I can say at this point that will make it all go away. All I can honestly say is, I’ve made it through, and so have thousands of others. It’s a terrible situation to be in, and it hurts like hell. But please remember that you’re not alone in this feeling, and know that you’re stronger than you believe. My heart goes out to you.
I keep hearing that 40 is the new 30. I jest, but only to tell you that you’re still young. Younger than me even. As hard as this must be for you, you’ve got a long life ahead of you. Stay strong and take your time to heal. No need to rush the process.
I layed my hand on my husband's shoulder and said to him, "Be born again in the name of Jesus." And he's been believing in God ever since. He's been changed for the good ever since.
These days men go to developing countries to find a girlfriends or wives, there are many nice girls in the third world countries. Try to use the internet to chat.
I've known many Marines who have married women from other countries. That's certainly one way to go, but let's not discount women from any specific country. As a Marine I've traveled enough to know that every nation has both good and bad women.
People need to understand that divorce does't change anything. The first marriage for both is a covenant marriage and they two become one-flesh and their marriage dissolves ONLY when either of them die. Though many violate their marriage vows, it doesn't become null. I Cor 7:39 says DEATH is what releases one to marry again, but not to a divorced person.
I’m divorced. Was pretty nasty. The whole system through and through is stacked against men, whether it’s dating, marriage, children, or anything at all. Honestly I don’t see the point in dating ever again.
In my opinion, it’s worth it if you have a healthy relationship. The challenge is being healthy enough ourselves to actually find and keep a healthy relationship. That’s where many of us fail. We blame women or the system, but we fail to acknowledge our small part in it. I don’t know if this is the case for you, I’m just making a general statement for you to consider if it applies.
Absolutely agree with the acceptance of own faults, and working towards emotional/mental health. God knows since my breakup I’ve gone down my long, LONG list of faults. Some have been rectified, some haven’t. However, just because a man has faults, does that mean he has to lose everything? That is the major fault of the system. And the only thing that stops a woman taking everything from a man via that system is…her conscience! That’s a cold, hard truth right there, and thinking logically about this (no blame, no emotion) ultimately leads many men like me to withdraw from romantic relationships with women.
I agree. That’s been my goal for the last 9 years since my divorce. To learn from the past in order to live a happy life now and in the future. Hopefully me sharing some of my experiences through the videos I make can help others do the same.
Divorce or separation is the same or probably worse than a death of a loved one. At least u can't bring back the dead but the ex will always be there with a new partner or not but you suffer. I'm not going to say be positive because no one wants to hear that. But you have to cry it out, go through it and ACCEPT it and move on. Make the best version of yourself, keep busy and slowly but surely cut off contact or answer hours later. She or he will call or text back, and if they don't, you will still be the best version of yourself and get someone new.
Those two years will feel like an eternity, but stay strong and seek help as necessary. It will do you good to seek and accept help, and it’ll help maintain a strong bond/relationship with your son. My thoughts and prayers go out to you.
divorce is like mourning the loss of your loved one. Especially if there is no contact at all, it’s as though they died. Thank you for your video. people always tell me my eyes look sad, looking at you, I can see what they mean, because your eyes look sad. I hope we all find happiness :)
I have alot of hate for this women right now I'll be her second divorce her second but yet she doesn't want to work it out and I do I told her we can work it out but she just want her space right now so I told her I'm not getting the divorce and I'm not signing anything i just feel like she mess me up I married her from another country we have 2 beautiful children and we've been married for 6yrs and now she wants to end it she tells me to read between the lines I dont want this marriage she told me and was cold hearted about it I hate her for that but I still got my kids and that's what will keep me strong and alive along with trusting in the Lord for good health and and spritual knowledge. Its going to take the Lord to heal my heart and not hate her. But thanks for the video
Wife of 6!years cheated on me 3 times and I just can’t but the thought of our kids not having there full family together or have there mom and dad is killing me I feel like I’m drowning
It sounds like you're in an incredibly difficult position. I feel for you. I'm truly sorry you're going through this. As you said, all we can do is take it one day at a time. We must also hold on to hope that if we keep trying, things will get better. The way I see it, if we don't try, things will definitely not get better. If I try, they may not get better either, but at least there's a chance, so I might as well try to improve my situation. Good luck moving forward.
I feel you brother, but there are plenty of women getting screwed over during divorces as well. This is an issue that hurts people from all walks of life.
Thanks brother for sharing I was with my wife for 30 years and out of the blue she told me she was getting divorced this came just six months after I lost my mother and father to cancer my world just fell apart. I have depression anxiety PTSD life is just so hard
Thank you for watching and for taking the time to comment. I remember all too well how it felt when all this first happened. I'm sorry you're going through this. Keep your head up brother. Your situation is even more difficult than my own after 30 years of marriage and losing your parents, but I'd like to believe there's still a chance for us to live happy lives. I wish you the best brother.
Living MAD Thanks Bro you know last year July last year I tried to take my own life and my wife constantly calls me a chicken a card because I never went through with it she doesn’t understand how hard it is for me but I’ll be okay thanks again brother much love 🇬🇧 🤝 🇺🇸
Baba Yaga wow. That’s wild brother. I’ve lost many friends in the service due to suicide. For us men, it can sometimes seem like the best and only way out, but I sincerely hope you hold out bro. All this divorce stuff is hard, but we can get through it. Believe me. Find someone to talk to, engage in hobbies that help out your mind at ease...anything that is positive and helps you cope. But please don’t take your own life. Stay safe brother 🙏🏼
I’m at the very beginning of this awful journey right now. And at this point it all seems pretty f***ing insurmountable, I gotta say. Thank you for posting your experience/insights; I really need to see post-divorce success stories right now because I tell you I’m having a hard time seeing how mine is going to look
Hey man, I'm recently separated after 27 years. I spoke to a therapist who recommended that (after we reflected on the marriage and what went wrong) I make a list of the what I want. That was February. I then signed up for several dating apps and started chatting, speaking and meeting potential dates. I'm 57 and my wife was ten years younger and very attractive, so by searching for something similar to what I was used to the pickings were not that great online. I did meet some fantastic women who became friends and we helped each other a lot emotionally. Now after four months I met two really great women (I'm an American living in Europe) and I'm now deciding on which one fits me better so that I can move forward with one. It's not easy, mainly because I have two kids and still live with my ex (four months). The real pain will be when I move out, but I have to say, speaking to family, friends and meeting new people helps immensely. You can do this. Fortunately my ex and i are amicable. I wish you the best.
If it helps at all, I am now ten years post divorce and happily remarried. It took years of personal growth, counseling, and dating to find my way back, but I can honestly say my marriage now is a million times better than my last. A huge part of that is the growth I went through after my divorce. Good luck brother!
I'm on your timeline Devin Farney as well. It's overwhelming at moments. It's sucks. And I was going thru other life changing news, when I overheard a convo about "the sheriff coming to serve papers to me." I knew I needed to talk, so I found a realistic therapist. I went to a health and wellness coach, and took care of me. And it's been worth every dime. Can't imagine the bullshit that would pile up in my head, the stress I would feel (more than what I already still experience), or how I would be coping thru this. Plus I've been following a few online divorce "advisors", both male and female. Not like it's gone from my life, but the situation has a bit more clarity. And this. Typing this in groups of others in the same boat. Perhaps it's a form of journaling.....some say it's good. 20 years ago I thought it was called writing letters to yourself LOL
Hang in there. I am two years into divorce. It's a nightmare but things are evolving forward. Things will progress for you too. Just be strong for yourself and your kids if you have them. Taking care of your health and staying busy is key, I believe.
@@rojachi7847 I am trying to stay busy, while telling myself I'm not just sticking my head in to forget about it. Therapy is helping. I hope your journey continues to get better! Hang tough!
Caught my wife cheating for the third time and found out that she has relapse on her addiction with meth. She left the house and her son in April. Haven’t seen her since.
So tough to hear, thanks for sharing. Living this reality now, been together since we were 20, married for last 6 years. 36yrs old now & learning more about how hard this will be is even harder to imagine. Divorce is really like a death with no funeral.
@@Fearose the fact you’re striving to be better tells me you’re already doing better than most of us. Too often we live our lives without focusing on who we are vs. who we want to be.
4th divorce...that’s tough brother. I’m really sorry you’ve had to go through all this. I can’t even begin to imagine what you must be going through. I hope you’re able to figure out a better way going forward. Maybe you’re right and marriage isn’t for you...or maybe you need to figure out what’s been tearing your marriages apart, and work to make sure that doesn’t happen again. Whatever the case is, I hope you find happiness brother.
Thank you sir for your service and for your honesty about real life. I'm going through divorce after 31 years of marriage. Inconceivable. Pain is unreal. I am leaning on the Lord and his word. Psalms in particular. Davis was a great warrior and yet wrote about pain and fear in his life.
31 years is an amazingly long time for a marriage to end. I can only imagine how hard it must be for you. I hope you’re managing and making it thorough. Thank you for taking the time to comment. It really means a lot to know my words are helping others in as small a way as that may be. I know how hard this was for me, so I just hope to be able to help others by sharing my experience.
Thank you for this. I’ve been divorced for 5 months and it seems like the Lord has been the only consistent person in my life during this time. I pray that the Lord will continue to help us all, because it isn’t easy….
52m never married, no kids. For those who aspire to get married or already are married, marriage *always* ends in tears either when a spouse dies or via divorce.
Being Divorced 3 times it does not get any easier. I have lost everything through Divorce? Married now again 4th time and feel more content with life. You talk about the American Dream stop looking for it be happy with your dream be happy with yourself. I chased wealth big house new cars. Now I live a simple life and feel much happier. You Sir being a Marine I take my hat of to you sir. Being in the Military is hard and the % of divorce is high. Your talking in 100% true. Yes talk to people, I tried to run away from my problem loosing my wife loosing my kids going through bankruptcy in other words a perfect storm. My boss at work called me into the office who had gone through Divorce and we sat for 2 hrs he showed me the way to move forward. To your viewers listen to Divorced people who have been there and talk from experience. Good luck with your channel. You do learn from relationships.
Reading the comments bellow is heartbreaking. I think as men, when we commit our hearts to being in love with our family and when it falls apart, we carry that weight fully on our shoulders and in our hearts. Like we failed at protecting our love ones. And to some degree this is the truth. But I believe we are also contending with multiple forms of subversive, cultural sabotage of the family as well as male/female dynamics. Men are being more and more feminized and women more masculinized, and in the wrong ways. I know I fell into thinking I was doing all the right things as father and husband, but in hindsight, I wasn't being enough of "the man" in the relationship. I see it happen to many me as well. Stay strong.
We're living in a new world for sure. I don't feel it's all a bad thing. I do believe many of the changes happening are for the better, but for those of us who grew up in different times it is difficult to adjust. I know I for one am certainly struggling with it. Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment. I sincerely appreciate it.
I still don’t understand why people getting married when it’s a well known fact that in this day of age your marriage won’t last. I’ve met people and they’ve confessed that they are not in happy marriages, none of them has said anything positive about marriages none of them said “you should get married, I highly recommended it”. Yet people still get married. I’ve also met unhappy married women, they were very inviting, they never said “sorry, I’m married”, I can see what these married women can do, they all could have cheated on their husbands with me. I’m 29 and I’m seeing my high school friends got married; in the back of my mind I thought I’ve met all divorced people, people in unhappy marriages, do they really think their marriages will last forever??? Why the parents allowing their kids to get married? Didn’t the parents warned them? Have they ask advice from established married people or divorced people for marriage advice and what to expect in marriage. It boggles me. If marriages last forever why do divorce lawyer and marriage therapists exists? Why do people write books about marriage an divorce? Why do they publish about research and statistics about divorce? Why can’t people see the logic and still get married? Usually, it’s the men who confessed to me about their fail marriages. But, there were also women who warned me about marriage. I find this quite ironic, because it’s usually women who wants me the marriage, but there are women who warned me not to get married. A women told me to stay single and not to get married, as marriages has too much responsibility. Another women, my colleague warned his son not to get married as she said I don’t care what your religion you are, what your culture is, you don’t need to get married.
I understand your point of view, but most of us still desire to get married. Of course, that shouldn’t imply everyone needs to get married. I think it’s perfectly fine for people to stay single if that’s what they want. In the end, I think we should all do what makes us happy.
I didn't cry for maybe 10yrs, now I am daily. Like many of you I am here after 15+yr relationship. I have children whom I used to live with and see daily. I was very involved as I worked part time. Now it will all change. I wasn't perfect, there was an element of taking things for granted after such a long time. I would never have ended it, but my wife did so I have no choice but to try and move on in some form...absolutely devastated 😭
How are you now? This month we would have our 10 year anniversary. We have a little boys. She anounced this week we're getting divorced. I can hardly think straight or function but there's so much I need to take care of (we just moved, company crashed, I need to look for another form of income). Will stay in the game for my kids but other that I gotta say, don't feel excited about the future.
Can't believe this comment was 2yrs ago. I don't see my children. Unfortunately it's a case of alienation and there is little I can do until they are old enough to realise I'm not the bad guy. I still have my ex-wife dragging it on even trying to change my kids surname from mine to hers. I basically pay her for the kids every month and don't see them. I've just tried to keep busy and live my own life, I expect my kids to be back in my life one day. I also expect them to have a few issues with what they have been through. I'm seeing another woman but to some degree I'm still healing. Trying to better myself in the gym and making more money. I have to keep busy and plan everything because I hate time where the mind can wonder. I'm focused on a side hustle and want to get rich. Grinding and staying busy.
Tony, thank you for commenting and I'm glad you were able to connect with some of what I said. Navigating life after divorce is a tough journey, but if we are open and talk to each other about it, I think it helps tremendously.
This is an absolutely important first step. Too many people jump from one marriage to the next without taking stock of what they can do to avoid the same mistakes. This is one of the reasons second and follow-on marriages have a higher chance of failure than first time marriages. I recently made a video highlighting some of the things I did to contribute to the collapse of my marriage. Link below: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-3MDExnJQWms.html One of my hopes with that video was to demonstrate that we all need to acknowledge our part in a relationship. More often than not, relationships fail because of something both parties did. Thank you for taking the time to watch my video and leave a comment. Much appreciated.
New video posted where I discuss my failed marriage and what led to its demise. I welcome you all to watch it and share your thoughts with the community. Thank you all for the support you've shown thus far. It means the world to me: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-3MDExnJQWms.html
Thank you so much and god bless you this helped me a lot. I’m currently getting ready to go through an unwanted divorce and I have nobody that I can talk to or that understands how I feel. I wish I had a good friend
@@JacobPHX I'm glad this video helped, even if just in some small way. Stay strong and trust me when I say, it IS possible to make out of from under the pain. Please stay strong and find healthy ways to deal with it all.
You have a friend in me .. but most of all make God the most high your best friend.. give him praise for saving you from a marriage that doesn't serve you anymore.. when God shuts one door he opens a other.. just have faith and trust in him first above all things..repent prevention is better than cure.. take time to heal your self body soul and mind.. and find your self again and ask God to make you whole again because our wings are all broken.. we must love God and he will enable us to fly again..and heal our hearts. it's all a test from God. Please remember we all have a opposition so always take refuge in God Almighty.. two wholes in one.. chase for chased..stay blessed 🙌
There’s no ideal time to go through divorce, but the holidays certainly make it much harder. I’m sorry you’re going through this. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
i am 43; I get laid every time a woman sees my house. HER : "You live here alone?" 'Yeah''. One week later, "We should take our relationship to the next level.......i can move in." My reply : ''What relationship?'' LoL
I’m glad you’ve found happiness brother. That said, there are still some of us who want to get married after a divorce. It’s not for everyone, but each of us had to pursue what makes us happy. Take care and thanks for taking the time to comment.
@@LivingMAD I have known Men who start dating within weeks of splitting up with the wife. Madness. I still cant believe it to this day- A Man gets kicked out of his house by his wife (ex-wife), and he starts a relationship with another woeman, & he thinks she is different.....or maybe he is getting sex for the first time in years. Bad craziness
Thank you.. first two weeks seperated. No friends in this state so im alone and pretty Depressed..Hearing your story makes me feel a little better. Thanks again
@@Korezbot You're absolutely like man, we DO deserve better. I think it's great guys like us can come together like this and talk. It helps so much knowing someone else knows our pain and wants to support us just as they're going through it also.
Just watched your video What you shared was so real Thank you so much great insight in to what time I'm in to I was thinking 5 years but looks like it stays with you for life . I'm only 2 month's in so have a long way to go Thank you again I just subscribed
It's just my opinion and experience thus far, but I don't think we ever completely get over a divorce. I think we just learn to move on from it; or at least some of us do. There will always be a part of me that hurts knowing a marriage ended, but I try not to give that part of me too much power and instead focus on the here and now as well as rebuilding my life for a better future. Stay strong and good luck moving forward.
I am not going through a divorce but i am also deeply hurt, i have got severe depression and chronic anxiety disorder because of my break up i even think of suicide everyday especially since he got married to a girl 1000 Times better then me.
I'm sorry you're going through such pain. I don't know you, but I ask that you please be kinder to yourself. Comparing yourself to another woman and putting yourself down will only make you feel worse. Again, I don't know you, but I have to believe that you deserve love and happiness like anyone else. My thoughts and prayers go out to you. Good luck!
@@LivingMAD hello thank you so much. Waw I totally forgot i wrote such comment now i am totally over him and i am totally healed thankfuly things get better After all.
@@lollmao249 This is great. Your message totally made my night. Another small reminder that things CAN get better for us. This was a tough video to make. It took me almost a month to work up the courage to publish it after I recorded it. That said, it has reached a lot of people like you so I'd like to believe it was all worth it. After a long pause from making videos, I've finally decided to start making new videos again. I welcome you to check out my channel and see some of my new content. Not all of the videos are divorce related, but I'll be making more about this subject as I continue to move forward with my life. Thanks again for taking the time to share your story and I'm sincerely happy for you.
My ex fiancé split recently. I loved him deeply. And I still do honestly. He was abusive and Thing became really between us. I broke it off in April. It still hurts. I was with him since I was 18 and I’m 22 now. I miss him a lot. But I know I can’t be with him. I’ve been dealing with depressing since I left him. We weren’t married but it feels like I went through a divorce. I know it’s for the best because he said and did some pretty hurtful things that made it hard for us to move forward. I’m praying God will provide me with a husband and we stay together until death. I just want a faithful,honest,responsible,respectful man who loves God and values marriage. I don’t believe in divorce. God hates them. I will never divorce unless he becomes abusive. My mom and dad are going through a divorce. Even though I’m older it still hurts to see my parents split. I never want to have to divorce and pray that God blesses me with a man who also doesn’t believe in divorces and commits to God.
You were smart to leave an abusive relationship despite how long you were together. No person deserves to put up with abuse of any kind. I hope you find what you're looking for. You're still very young so be patient and don't compromise your morals or yourself for anyone. If you stick by your standards and treat others with love and respect, eventually the right man will come around. It may be soon, it may be in 15 years. Nobody knows so don't feel rushed and just enjoy life as you move through it. Thank you for watching and for taking the time to comment.
I am currently going through a divorce, my husband is impotent which he kept from me, we waited till marriage to have sex. He can fix his issue by doing surgery, however, he has refused to get help stubbornly. He has now started dating others and says he will do the surgery next year. We have been together for 5 years and married for 3 years. I am an immigrant to this country and faced emotional and financial abuse, he is also very unkind daily. I can't get an annulment in Ohio as I missed the deadline to file which was 2 years. It's very devastating as I have to start again career rise, right now I'm in an Airbnb and everyone is treating me like a villain for leaving the situation. My in-laws are toxic and my family is overseas, it's very isolating I am 29.
I’m so sorry you’re going through such a horrific ordeal. Although it’s wrong that his family is treating you poorly, it makes sense that when forced to choose sides they are choosing one of their own. It sucks, but such is life when emotions and loved ones are involved. I only know a very small part of your side of the story, but based on this snippet of information I do not believe you’re a bad person. Marriages require compromise and open communication. There’s more to it than that, but these two ingredients are crucial to a happy and long lasting marriage. If you and your husband couldn’t have that, then at some point you have to ask if it’s time to call it quits. I always advise to seek counseling and other methods of reconciliation before divorcing, and I don’t know if you’ve done that. Either way, you have to make a choice that protects you and your mental well being. You can’t put up with abuse indefinitely hoping your partner will change. Again, I’m sorry you’re going through this. But please believe me when I tell you: you have the strength to get through this. Please don’t give in to the negative emotions that will surely swell up inside you over the next few months or years. It’s ok to feel bad from time to time, but you can’t let those feelings completely take over. Stay strong and have faith that eventually things can get better for you. Good luck 🫶🏽
@@LivingMAD thank you! we have gone to many counselors including sex therapists but to no avail. It is as you said the emotions come in waves! Some days are better than others.
@@MixedAfro If you already tried counseling and it didn’t help, it may be time to move on. But only you know when it’s time to make that choice. I wish you the best as you grapple with this difficult life choice 🫶🏽
I love seeing all the comments from others offering words of advice of support. It’s a gentle reminder that the internet doesn’t always have to be a place of hate and discontent.
Hi from Spain. Dont worry mate as it is not your fault I can tell you tried and she might be already with a one as she can't be alone/selfish. Ill make my own video as I'm taking my ex wife to court. We men are more like to remain quite and walk away. God bless you brother don't give up
I’m sorry you’re going through this. I, like many others, understand what you’re going through. Just know that it’s absolutely possible to make it through to the other side. The pain will never absolutely go away, but you CAN find happiness again.
Ii've been divorced.From the love of my life.Its brutal.That was 25 years ago.For 10 years after I didnt date.I grew cold,emotionless.I like it like this.I use women now,when they talk about love,I drop them.I have a heart of stone,I'm aware of that but it keeps me safe.
I hear you brother, but I personally hope you’re able to soften up again and let someone in. I know how hard that is and how painful it is to have your heart broken all over again, but in my opinion, if you build yourself up to be a good man and seek the same, it’s all worth it. Either way, I wish you nothing but happiness brother.
Hey Devil Dog your helping a newly separated and a soonly divorced marine vet. Im trying to comprehend this new part of my life. And this helped alot. Thank you devil Semper Fi brotha
Divorce is without a doubt one of the hardest things I’ve ever dealt with. That said, 7 years after my separation and divorce I can sincerely say I’ve come through to the other side. It wasn’t always easy, but looking back I can now see how the experience and thoughtful process helped me cope and survive the emotional difficulties.
90% of women do not care like men do when divorce comes up. Im goin thru that stage now me n my wife is still livin in the same home in separate rooms. She want talk to me or anything. I try all i can to get her to communicate with me now it feels like im just in her way now I jus wanna leave and let her go
I understand the pain you're going through brother, but we have to admit that in some relationships it is the woman that suffers most. In any case, it is clear that in this case you are the one suffering. I'm sorry you're going through this. I sincerely hope things get better for you. Thank you so much for watching and for taking the time to comment.
My wife of 8 years left me when I was in Syria. I miss her deeply yet feel numb. I contemplate ending it all because I lost my azimuth. God help us all during these crazy times.
I'm sorry you had to experience such a terrible thing brother. Please do all you can to stay in the fight. Do not give up. This was a tough video to make. It took me almost a month to work up the courage to publish it after I recorded it. That said, it has reached a lot of people like you so I'd like to believe it was all worth it. After a long pause from making videos, I've finally decided to start making new videos again. I welcome you to check out my channel and see some of my new content. Not all of the videos are divorce related, but I'll be making more about this subject as I continue to move forward with my life.
Just an opinion, as the saying goes, one man's treasure is another man's trash, meaning views are different. I do sympathise with so many in such situations. Solutions come in different formats. Communication, forgiveness and empathy was how Jesus dealt with evil. Divorce was never in God's plan when He yoked man and woman as stated in Genesis 2 vs 24 and Matt 19 vs 7,8. Marriage was originally created to be for life. As the Almighty God is wise, would he not have foreseen such issues arising in his children's future lives? Surely He knew hence, Jesus mentioned ONLY adultery allows for remarriage without causing the innocent person to be seen as an adulterer ( Matt 19 vs 3-6 and 7.8 ; compare Gen 2 vs 22-24) . However, the innocent partner has no right to put apart what God has yoked together meaning only God holds that right to end what He yoked. So what to do? Paul in 1 Corinthians 7 vs 10-28 did mention that no-one is in servitude to another if they want to leave they can, BUT it must be temporary with the hope of reconciliation and peace later, but he never mentions divorce. The problem with separation is it makes reconciliation difficult. Violence is in the same category as things God hates Malachi 2 vs 10-16. So When God says he hates violence, can we justify it, by doing it on grounds that the other person is hurting us? If I slap you, is it justified for you to go and hurt my children? If we did that, we are no different to the abuser. We can also be punished even by law for doing that and how will the law protect you if we are both violent towards each other? Hence, Jehovah God stated we must not return evil for evil. Divorce is an evil thing to do as it can destroy your children as well and destroys extended family ties and so much more. Similarly with divorce, do we justify doing it because another person is hurting us. That automatically falls under revenge. But God says revenge is His. How do we expect God to protect us from the perpetrator? Leaving temporarily, the Bible advises but discourages divorce, meaning that is never the solution. Seeking help through the police or relatives or counsellors to intervene shows we want ending of the problem and not marriage. We can also work on ourselves in how we treat the other person. All of us marry for health and in sickenss and where do we draw the line of sickness. At that moment the marriage is sick and needs medicine not death. As innocent we can be, if we do what God hates, we do not get his protection. We are as guilty as the perpetrator and we are sure to be punished severely as whatever God hates, comes with consequences. No excuse with divorce, innocent or not. Check out this website jw.org. so many topics on divorce and marriage.
Religion definitely has a lot to say about marriage. I can't sincerely say I agree with everything about it because I've studied the history of marriage and how it came to be, but I do understand the concept of it as explained by some religions (mainly Christian religions which are the ones I'm most familiar with). Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the matter.
Well as a man going through divorce myself right now I would encourage all you guys out there who might be going through divorce. If this divorce is no fault of your own and your wife is leaving you cause she's not "happy" then all I can say is she can kiss my ass. I did everything I could to save my marriage but she left anyways. So it's like fine, then she can kiss my ass. Guys move on and stop the pity party. She don't care about you so she can kiss your ass. For real!!!! You gotta toughen up and focus on yourself. I'm done with the BS.
I hear you, but for some of us it’s not always easy to move on. That said, we do need to. We can’t be happy if we hold on to the pain. Thanks for the advice brother.
Wow…..what an inspirational video that explains the roller coaster journey of divorce - and recovery. One thing I learned, you get it back plus more….eventually . But, you do! Counseling helped, of course. But joining divorce groups helped the best. There you are with others that are going through what you are going through. Never dwell, and realize that all too often the actual person you though you married is too often not the person who really exists. .
It takes time, but I agree, we can make it to the other side; and often times we come out even stronger. Thank you so much for watching and for taking the time to comment.
Looking back at this relationship, I should of got a restraining order. She is nuts. I've been overwhelmed with stress for years. I've wanted out for ever. Now I'm just waiting for a domino to fall and I'm out.
I don’t want to push you either way, but let me ask you this: if the relationship is so toxic, why wait for a domino to fall? It might be best for both of you to cut ties now. Of course, I say that not knowing the full story, so take what I say with a grain of salt.
after a 12-year marriage to my wife. our daughter graduated and she wanted to get a divorce. I have never experienced so much emotion in my life, but what you said has me thinking. I know what I could have done differently. I know what I did wrong. 6 months of being separated and yes I still get depressed and cry and all that. in your video you said to find something that makes you happy and do it. I'm trying to figure this out. all my years of life I have done for everyone else and not myself. I am a people pleaser and never really thought of myself and what i would like to do. that's the battle I have now. Trying to Think of me first. Thank you for this video!!!
It’s always heartbreaking to think of others going through something like this because I still remember how hard it was for me. But I’m glad this video is helping some of you consider your options and see a possibly brighter future. Good luck brother. My thoughts and best wishes to out to you.
@@LivingMAD I am making it a point to watch most of your videos. I've learned that it's easier to listen to someone who is or has gone thru the same exact thing I'm going thru because they know the emotional roller coaster you are on and they get it. I want to thank you with a sincere heart for your videos. they do help
I feel for you brother. The American dream I had was my business and my family. My wife had a midlife crisis and walked out. I lost my home, my success, my business and I only get my kids half the time. She still makes a 100k a year and I used to make more. After divorce I had to start a job I hate, not be my own boss ,make half the money and take it in the ass. But I have a plan and the experience to get above were I was before. I won’t let my situation discourage me and I’ll get back on top as a single father. Just makes me wanna work harder. Best of luck to you and thank you for your service sir!
I'm sorry you had to go through all that brother. How did the divorce cause you to lose your business? It's crazy how messy these divorces can get sometimes. Since I started sharing my story, I have heard some wild stories from others that seem like they were written for Hollywood. I wish you the best going forward brother. The way out won't be easy, but there is a way...as long as you don't stop.
I believe God is in the business of reconciliation...as long you find your knees and repeant.... you can still get your wife back no matter the situation today...build your relationship with God .. you will testify...I have been divorced for 2years plus that's why am watching thus video my situation is nasty all I know is God will restore my marriage life...either build back my marriage or give me another marriage as long I stay under His pinions... His Faithful...He forgives every sin
Faith is important. For some it's faith in religion, for others it's faith in family, friends, or something else. Regardless, it can be a big source of strength for us; I know it was for me. Wherever you end up, I wish you the absolute best. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Just a few months into my divorce. I've gotten so low, I've thought about how many ways I can end it. But we have 4 kids together. I can't leave them. She's gone and it feels like I lost my best friend in this world. Every day is a uphill climb but I try to find solace in the little things. I get to see my kids on the weekends, it's my only light it seems. I'm so alone. I feel so very alone. I hope it gets better.
I hope you are doing well brother, and I hope that what a lot of the other other guys on here say is true that it gets better. I'm currently going through now and not knowing what I'm going to do
@@bobbywillmac5275 you stay strong, I've found leaning on my friends has helped immensely. Getting outside and grounding myself. It's a technique of kind of narrating what you're doing in that moment. Like feel how your feet against the pavement. Identifying what you see, it helps bring you to that moment. You're focusing on that and not so much what's bothering you.
She was never your best friend, you were too reliant on her affection and "love". I guess you were a needer. That's why men hurt so much, we feel souldbound to our women and get caught in the fairytale, women were really never there. To save a marriage a man must snap out of this idea and grow as a person and not be too needy and reliant on the affection from his wife. And breakups get easier with the next relationships. I'm not saying this to be mean, but if you get this perspective, everything will get easier in the future. It's very important to live like your single when you are in a relationship, with that I mean you need to do the cleaning, dishes, get the kids from school because this is something you will need to do anyways as single. Many men stop doing a lot of these things when in a relationsship.
No. I wish it was that simple. We had issues from the very beginning and simply grew apart over time. I just posted a new video where I talk about some of the mistakes I made that led to the divorce. I welcome you to go to my channel and check it out.
I just want to feel happy again. Like when I was a kid I woke up happy now I roll out of bed looking for an excuse to keep living. Recently I started using Forwago and I think it helps me. I feel that I am on a good path to become a happier person. Wish me luck!
I knew you were a marine from the start of this video. Much love to you brother and your future. I’m scared to get married in the gun club for this exact reason. I don’t know why god put this video in my recommendation maybe it was just an eye opener for me. I think I can wait few more years. I am also still with my high school sweetheart for 4 years now. Let’s see what happens. Semper fi
Semper Fi brother. I’ve been in just over 20 years now, and I’ll tell you my perspective on marriage in the military: deployments, B billets, living far from family, duty nights, and so much more, are extremely stressful situations that most other marriages never have to deal with. Still, I believe that at the end of the day, it all comes down to who you marry. Whether in the military or not, life will always find a way to challenge your relationship. It’s up to you and your partner to figure out how to get through it, or fight about it and end up divorced. A problem I’ve seen often (as was the case with me), is that many military couples marry young and don’t have the life skills to deal with the hardships of a long committed relationship. I say all this to tell you, don’t be afraid to be married in the military. I know plenty of military families that are perfectly happy, so it’s definitely possible. Not easy, but certainly possible. The questions are: are you with the right woman? Are you both mentally and emotionally prepared for what’s to come if you decide to get married? Have you discussed future goals for both of you and do they align (career, children, finances, religious beliefs, and so much more)? Marriage in the military is not a death sentence for a relationship. You just need to be smart about it and avoid the pitfalls that get many of us.
Hey Roger! You'll pull through it all, trust me!❤ Try practicing self love and doing more of what you personally enjoy... I have a few tips if you don't mind...
If you keep moving forward and focus on doing healthy and positive things to help you move forward, I sincerely believe you’ll move past it. I don’t think things can ever be normal again, but normal is overrated. Just work toward being happy again, in whatever form that may be. Good luck brother.
Its tough in the begining but after sometime you will get better. It took me 1 and a half year and i just distracted myself with hobbies like going kayaking, hiking, exploring new places rarely alone and with family/friends most of the time.
I agree. I would also add that no one should get married simply to have fun. Marriage is much more complicated than that. There are certainly thousands of other ways to have "fun."
So for me I found out after a year and half after divorce that my Ex wife is now in a relationship. And I’m here still working on my self and yet I feel like I’m back at square one. I feel that I should be farther ahead than her yet I am not..very discouraging. But your Video did help me. Thanks
I remember those feelings. At one point after my divorce, my ex was dating someone who also happened to be a Marine like me. My son really liked him, which I knew was a good thing because I wouldn't want someone around my son that treated him badly, but it also hurt to know there was another man spending time with my son in a sort of fatherly role. It was hard to think about and many times I cried over it, but in the end I had to accept that it was part of the process. The one thing I had to remind myself is that it was not a competition. Her finding love before me was not an indication of a failure on my part. It's hard to accept, but it's what I kept telling myself. At the time it was important for me to think about that because I did not want to rush into another marriage. I knew that I needed time to myself before I tried to get serious with anyone again. I hope you feel better and get through this brother. I know it's not easy, but if I'm any proof, there is light at the end of the tunnel as long as you keep moving forward.
Living MAD thank you so much! I’m honestly surprise that you responded back! I spent 8 years in the service. And getting advice from you and your whole issues with them and not being afraid of true emotion is really empowering! Especially with the whole Machismo mentality of the military especially for men. I was young when this happened to me...too young however I’m now 26 and I do have a lot more to live for. Your right that I shouldn’t feel like a failure for my ex to have a new relationship still a bit of a punch to the gut! Your right it’s not a competition, guess it’s more human nature.
Ricardo Rivera you know exactly what I’m talking about being a service member. It’s hard for men like us to talk about these things, but it’s important that we do. I wish you the best brother.
My ex husband and I got divorced this year and we got separated last year october he been cheating on me and having affair with two women from my old school it’s was hurtful and traumatic I was struggling with depression with it last year we was been married for three years Everything Changes my ex betrayed my trust he broke his vowel during a marriage for cheating and now I'm divorced I'm a very strong woman
That’s terrible. I’m sorry you had to go through that. However, if he was treating you that way and you didn’t do anything to deserve it, you’re better off without him. My thoughts are with you. I wish you the best.
I’m 24 going thru an a divorce. And times are hard, but this video literally saved me! So much great advice, as well as wisdom. Thank you for this video!!
Django Freeman I’m sorry bro! I was the same way. Even though we both seen it coming, and it still didn’t stop the love that I built for her tearing me up, and our memories. But sometimes it’s easy to just say you’re too good people who are not meant to be together. Well not easy but the best decision. It took me about 3 1/2 weeks to finally be able to stomach something down. I’m not saying force-feed yourself bro, but you have to keep yourself healthy! Best of luck to you bro and keep your head up!
I definitely understand where you guys are coming from, I've been separated for a month. Just go get some protein shakes or replacement meals, that way you can just drink it quick to have something in your stomach.
@@jaydeejonesy3858 please take care of yourself. As hard as divorce is, we have to believe we can make it through to the other side. But to do so, we have to take care of our bodies as we go through the grieving process.
I screwed up my marriage of over 20 years. We still love each other but I hurt her so bad. I miss my life ever day, my daughter doesn't want to talk to me.... I don't know how to move past any of it
That’s terrible brother. I’m sorry this happened to you. I don’t have all the answers. The best I can say without knowing your situation is this: if it’s over for good and you’re the one who screwed up…the only way to move forward is to first forgive yourself. Next, figure out how to make sure you never repeat that mistake again. Once you do that, work up the courage to try again with someone new. Good luck brother.
