Could I have DID? | BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER VS. DISSOCIATIVE IDENTITY DISORDER | BPDSQUARED 

I have cptsd, bpd & osdd & your experience sounds very similar to me 😊 & as another commenter mentioned I'm autistic aswell which I think does make us more likely to experience trauma & dissociation ❤

I was misdiagnosed for a long time with borderline personality disorder. When I finally started talking to my trauma informed therapists and really advocated to them for myself about my deepest feelings and thoughts about what I experience, I was told I have cptsd and osdd. This video was recommended and I want to see what happens on your journey! Sometimes it takes a very long time to figure out if a person has a dissociative disorder. ❤ Dont ever feel discouraged.

Omg gguuurrrlll !!!! So glad your video was recommended to me/us! We changed our name in most places from Stones of Borderline to Stone Haven Mind for this (almost) exact journey. Watching DissociaDID's first video about "evil" alters blew our mind as we already had our BPD part sectioned off as "The Enchantress" (the one who takes over & has horrible thoughts, etc) - we had already seen others within our head. We had already had visions of our "Mother Warrior" part - where she lives, what her family is like, etc. I'm so glad you are coming out - I/we felt EXACTLY the same way about coming out about extra diagnoses to the community. So so cool to find you's & your channel! Much love! I'll have to find you on Insta, too (LOL at the end clip! Saw it after writing this). Also, I think it's more ok & accepted to self diagnose DID after diligent research. It's a diagnosis that professionals still debate even existing (which is ridiculous) because that's how much stigma & ignorance is attached to it. I've literally been scoffed at, w/no other reply when I brought it up to a male who was supposed to diagnose me. People can be horrible about things they don't understand, but I'm sure you know this already because the stigma w/BPD is horrible!

your experience is practically 100% structurally like mine. I have DID. (And ASD, which I believe makes me more prone to trauma and dissociation... you may want to look in ASD as well) do you have amnesia? check out the Ring System and Multiplicity and Me-- both very informative and validating. Also check out Ctad clinic with Dr. Mike Lloyd.

This mirrors exactly what is going on in my mind. Thank you so very much for recording this. ❤

i would love to hear you talk about this more sometime and what it's like now a few months later and how you're doing, it helps me feel a lot less alone. hope you're well, thank you for sharing your experience

This mimics a lot of my experience. I don't tend to have voices as often, or if I do I tend to not notice them. Sometimes I will notice that my head is quiet but feel like the noise had just stopped, or I will notice talking and the voices will go away. I also hear a lot of screaming, or when there is a voice I forget immediately what was said. I remember people being around all my life and last year I had a period of a few months where I was someone else. But I'm a minor so I could just be messing it up and I know that I won't be able to get a diagnosis for anything for at least a few more years because of my circumstances, so I'm just trying to figure out things on my own without getting too upset with myself.

Thank you so much for posting your thoughts and experiences. I haven’t ever been to a psychiatrist or anything more than a counselor even though I’m 23, my family hasn’t ever “felt anything was wrong with me.” But I relate to your words here very much. I’ve been concerned that different aspects of my life and confusing parts of my past line up with other dissociative stories, with thoughts that are dialogue instead of monologue and “imaginary” people having been around for years. I hope that you’re doing well these days, I’ll be trying to catch up and see how you are more recently. This is the first vid of yours I’ve seen after researching DID experiences, it appeared in my recommended. Thank you very much

God bless you. I struggle with this and I’m so happy with your videos. More than any other BPD video I’ve heard. They give run downs of things i can find on google. Thank you!

We are autistic and OSSD your experience ead validating. Our host whe they were little used to dream of a lot of worlds some places theyd never been in. Theyd always get night terrors. With age that did die down but vivid dreams wont. Also validating on another point as to how blue showed up, because one of ohr alters st. Jimmy and billie joe Armstrong would show up the same way. We remember out host not really caring about greenday growing up, but billie was just still there in our system and we knew it. Wewoulr see him whenever our host would play as a child he would sit beside us just wacth and listen billie would. Billie now probably has the closest relationship with our host out of most of the alters. St. Jimmy being 2nd he originally showed up differently from his source but he was still connected to source. He was just more of a tender soul to him. How wed describe his presence he wore a light color palette. Later once our host got closer to him he started to become more source connected. He would also do the same thing billie would do, just sit and listen and watch. Specially showed up when our host was angry or mad or even depressed and Sometimes providing our host with hugs or comfort if needed be. This role would be important later, because he had grown such a close relationship with our host that he said let me hold that rage. We have a very large headcount some are more ingolved than others. -mike dirnt

Thank you so much, I'm so glad your video came to my page. So much to say. You're doing great, to help your healing and ours. Very similar experience to my own. My therapist just said last appointment that most likely one of my alters is bipolar, but we aren't all. The noise and dissociation are so hard to handle. The only thing that kind of dulls everything sometimes is seroquel, I am off of it now so I can break some amnesia walls to heal. When you talked about the breaking, yes, I feel like a bandaid was ripped off. Much love and healing to you

When we found out and came out of the fog we had rapid switching due to body memories and like you said the straw that broke the camels back. It gets better over time and help talking about the trauma with our dr and therapist. Yes as soon as we grounded we heard better! Have you ever tried writing while disassociated we have good communication that way. We disassociate while reading and writing. We have a angry child alter and her perception is warped like a child and was a trauma holder. I’m so happy you found answers! Keep talking! Mins is good but entropy system explained more in detail good luck girl you got this

Us we are I can totally relate. I hear parts of myself I haven’t heard from and now voicing their opinions and sharing memories but by bit with me. You aren’t alone keep being you

I thought it was "normal" for other ppl with BPD to have a voice that tells them to do something other than what their doing, usually with something impulsive- But I usually have what I have called "different parts" arguing in my mind. I have basically just considered that I have different parts or facets that have conflicting emotions and trains of thought Idk- I got diagnosed with Bipolar when I was 18, then it got "switched" to BPD when I was 19, specified as quiet BPD by my therapist. I haven't really seen a mental health professional since then cuz soon after that diagnosis I aged out of my uncle's insurance. I have seen some ppl sporatically, but no one ever "clicks'. My aunt has told me that since I've moved to town, her and some relatives have suspected that I(and my sister) have DID or OSDD. I keep looking into it and the more I find and research the more I keep freaking out internally and keep "switching" from curiosity, to denial, to hope of getting help, to anger and sadness.

I don't know who's talking, but you are an amazing woman to come out with what you have it's difficult for me to even talk about. God bless you girl

Keep sharing your voice.

🌻 YOU ARE AWESOME 💗

Self diagnosis is valid though specially when dealing with autism.

Thank you for sharing 🌠 I don't think anyone needs to diagnose us anymore. Almost every one of my personalities has a disorder. That's leaves me with the fact that yes. Bipolar was true. For that alter. ADD was true for that alter. BPD. Depression. Anxiety. And so forth! I can't find the links. I'm looking for the shadow man link...

People with bpd still disassociate I’m told I also have voices that I hear I’m still unsure what or who that is. Usually a voice giving me an instruction which I usually don’t carry out. Unsure even if it’s my own voice at times. Very confusing for us for sure. Just starting to watch now. I’ve had bpd for 48 years now, I’d suggest do some research on this and speak to your mh provider. I have bpd plus ptsd plus ocd lol. So a mixed bag.

I have auditory hallucinations as well. I'm diagnosed with BPD and C-PTSD.

Sounds like you've been through massive trauma. 😢 I'm a cluster b diagnosed person, this is all BPD and PTSD. Wishing you peace and happiness ❤

Hi, not about this video specifically but thank you. Without going into too many specifics, as it’s traumatic for me. As weird as it may sound, you think with my background that would be nothing compared to my experiences growing up. I was told that the disorder that you’re talking about this that you are an automatic liar and that you have no empathy for others. They also told me that I must have hurt someone in my past that I just hadn’t remembered it. Because people with the disorder you’re talking about, according to my therapist, do that. On one hand, I believe that my therapist is wrong. I do not remember neither do any of my system members remember any violent behavior from me. It was also specific. I told my therapist that my parents used to hit me, and they told me that I lied about that and I used to hate my parents. I told them that I didn’t used to hit my parents, and they called me a liar because that’s what people with BPD do. When it comes to memory loss, it’s either patchy or complete memory loss. The fact that I can still remember the event, she’s just claiming that I forgotten the details makes me suspicious. On the other hand, they are the professionals after all. My old friends believe the saying, and believe that I have no empathy for others as a result. I’ve got a disconnect from them because they now believe me as a monster because my therapist said so. On top of the hurt of losing my friends. I feel unlovable. Like I’m just inclined to be the worst person and there’s nothing I can do about it. through some magic, i hurt others around me emotionally, even though I don’t intend to. I don’t feel like this describes me, I feel like it curses me. Like my destiny is to be the worst person that there is. Which, as you could imagine, makes me feel like I shouldn’t be here anymore. Obviously, this is not the only reason but it’s one. Regardless of what title I would call myself in terms of MPD, DID, or OOSD-1b, I know I’m a system. According to what I read, you don’t need to have a diagnosis to be a system. You do need a diagnosis for DID, but not to claim that you’re a system. I have these members, and they front and help me get through really tough times. Although I have a bit of sadness that my system members are the only people I feel can love me, but they do, and I appreciate that. I love hearing them because even if they’re not always nice, or there’s not nice members, I can still trust them. because even the not nice members have good intentions. Despite knowing every little thing I do, they still care for me. That is more than anyone has done in my life. even if it hurts because I know that people outside would never love me the same way. If I were to say, which is I’m not saying, but if I were. I still think my therapist was wrong about BPD. But I believe it’s DID, especially after watching this video. I have to put something over the mirrors in my home, because it really freaks out the members in the system. They look at themselves, I don’t see themselves, which is incredibly dysphoric and freaky. Especially for the male members because the body is female. It’s not OOSD-1B simply because we have one member that has more memory loss than me. But, if your experiences still do describe BPD. Then I think BPD should be recognized as valid systems. The plural community only recognizes DID and OOSD. But if you could have fully autonomous people inside your head that can front, even if those people aren’t still somewhere you, they’re still valid because they have their own separate conscious. It would be very similar to DID, they’re not really recognized. At the same time though, in a way they already have in the sense that there is a movement to use system instead of DID simply because of the diagnosis troubles. you can see on participating in that movement of trying to turn people away from diagnosis for diagnosis sake. Not to actually get help, just for a diagnosis.

So... You can have alters with BPD? Or are they just "alters" like... different variations of yourself, but you’re still there like... your concious all the time but not necessarily the "same person"? Just curious, because I was just told by my psychiatrist that I have strong symptoms of BPD and this is exactly how I feel 😅

Haha.. girl im sorry next time you post a video can you turn the music down a teeny bit its hard to hear you speak and Im having trouble understanding. But I have BPD too and id love to hear what you have to say!

i have bpd but my identity problems make me feel like i have did i hope i figoure it out one day but its confusing sometimes iv named them at this point james likes to live in the imagination rick jones the social comedian john doe hates everyone and wants to be left alone jack who pushes through pain and void who feels nothing completely empty and i feel lost no consistency i feel like myself untill i dont i have consistent memories but often forget convocations and days feel like a blure or a standstill their is no consistency and i hate it

I have bpd as well. How do we know when we saw people in our mind, or are imaginating people???but when you are imagining you realise of it and keep with fantasie,soo how do we know??

Hugs xx bless u

❤❤

I find the background music very annoying and distracting.... but otherwise good video, thanks for sharing

Telepathy, from law of oneness and fractalised consciounsess, regardless, seperated by memories and experiences, contradictions, too?

This is exactly the kind of channel Ive been looking for 😭💗 As much as these white creators have helped me understand myself and different kinds of diagnoses, it's been crucial for me to hear from other black people because our experiences and feelings can be extremely different. I'm really happy you're here and talking about your experiences 💗

Id diagnose u easy, there are switches i can pick up on. Just keep sharing get urself into what causes u fear and anxiety. Proper dx's are key and very helpful watch my channel if u like