Sometimes we don't recognize we have a personality disorder until we have children. No fault of our own or undiagnosed or misdiagnosed. But it is important that once it is recognized that we try and put effort into doing our very best to combat and treat it in order to be the very best for our children and ourselves 💜💜💜
THIS! I knew I had BPD since I was 19, yet when I finally had a baby at 35 I could step outside myself, in a Non-Dissociative way, and try to work on behaviors that I don’t want my kiddo to see or emulate.
I cry for the child I was and the child still inside. I cry for all those who grew up thinking they were horrible pieces of crap because they were never good enough to stop mom or dad from blowing up. I cry for those who tried so hard to make mom or dad happy but to no avail. I cry for those whose never thought they deserved love or any good in their lives because their mom or dad told them they were worthless and then told them that ' no one else would love them EVER" while at the same time beating them with a belt. Then five minutes later you are told " what a great kid you are" . I cry for you. I cry for me. JUST KNOW THIS ..IT ISNT YOUR FAULT. IT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT. YOU ARE WORTHY OF ALL Life's GOODNESSES. YOU ARE WORTH OF REAL LOVE.
Thank you so much there is little help for parents with disorders there is only help for the children later in life but I want to stop it I want to learn how to not let this negatively effect my children so thank you so much. I'm crying right now please anything else like this or any forms of education like this please please give me. Omg thank you people so much. I also let everyone in my life along with my child's teacher that I take full responsibility for my illness but unfortunately it still effects my family and to be understanding of him because of this and they always are. Thank you guys so so much I cannot believe I'm not alone in these feelings you have no idea how much I needed this.
Didn't realize I had ASPD until I had children. Once I realized it, my behaviors as a youth and teen were explained. Now with 4 children I am deathly scared of what I put them through, how its effecting their childhood and how not to pass this on to them. I struggle with explaining to them what I am experiencing without it coming out in rage or an explosive outburst. I am going to share this film with them to hopefully help them understand what I am experiencing and to reinforce how I much I love them and how none of this is their fault. Blessing and prayers to all of us coping with personality disorders.
I have a 7 month old.. when I’m okay she stares at me like I’m a stranger to her.. and it breaks me to pieces because I know she’s confused. It’s scary to live with it’s horrible
@@mariareyes0107 honestly I recently found out I’m 2 months pregnant and it’s been HECTIC. I was coping with lots of support from my husband (because my crazy demanded; not what I wanted but how it came out...) I literally had enough a couple weeks ago and almost ran away with my baby somewhere far to get away from the things that were haunting me but I put my dignity aside and became vulnerable to the closest people around me. Begged for support basically and I’ve been receiving it. I’m slowly getting back on track as myself and who I truly naturally am and it’s become a bit refreshing. I know it won’t last but I’m hopeful that this new routine I was allowed to build WITH support (because I was so depressed I wanted to end my life crying in the closet every chance I could because of my emotions) and through that I’ve found some form of piece for both my baby and the family and slowly myself but naturally I’m a selfless person so I’ve put the people that have been there for me first and it’s slowly making a ripple affect of gratitude not only for myself but for the people that helped me. Kind of like a reason to keep going. My baby was my motivation so I hope you find motivation in something that you really respect
As someone who suffers from BPD this triggered me so much. This is the reason why I don't want to have children, I don't want to subject a little one to me having bad days.. Luckily I have a steady partner who loves me and helps me with my ongoing therapy, which would be a huge plus if we decided to adopt (I won't pass on my genes due to the BPD as well). But I still don't want to adopt, BPD is a living hell, what has a little baby done to deserve to live in hell?? Nothing, so I won't subject it to it.
My mother had six children that she subjected to her BPD. Having babies that needed her completely was her whole world. Once we started to develop lives and opinions of our own, we were triggering her nonstop. The fighting and explosive reactions... It was hell on earth
Fern leaves studio i applaud you for such self awareness most people that suffer with bpd have zero self awareness. You are doing an amazing job navigating this difficult life with such a difficult condition. I just felt like I needed to write this comment to you. You should be so proud of yourself for the hard work your clearly putting in the understanding bpd
My mom doesn’t get she has bpd but she certainly does and it’s caused lifelong problems with her kids and her. I showed her a video of bpd and she got so mad saying she did everything for us and were ungrateful kids.
Thanks for this. I deal with bpd and am also a parent, and I was very impressed by your video. I am a big mental health awareness advocate, and a spoken word poet, and I use my poetry to spread that awareness. I was wondering if you do collaborations with other artists.
I love how this shows different outputs of personality disorders, it's easy to forget that people have different ways of expressing the feelings that come with these disorders
Thank you for sharing this so reminds me of my younger self as a mum still to this day I struggle thank god I have a loving husband and children I medicate every day we are all gods children may we all find the unconditional love we so needed as babies we are not alone please be strong all bpd sufferers God loves you all love, peace and harmony, give your babies all the love and light 🙏😙❤️
Thank you for this video. I am so glad I am not a self-harm risk anymore because JC showing that and the child imitating it with a lego was quite upsetting. I like seeing the perspective, but it's heartbreaking knowing how miserable it can make the children feel. I'm struggling with parenting currently and hope with therapy for her and me will help us move forward with our lives to be happy and healthy.
My daughter had a relationship with a man she did not know initially had a personality disorder. She became pregnant and in the ensuing months began seeing it in her boyfriend. She began seeing episodes of spacing out and tuning out. She had learned he had a traumatic event of sexual abuse in childhood, which is a contributor and began noticing the incredible interference of his mother in all aspects of their relationship. If my daughter did not comply with bf's mom's orders, the threat was she would come get him and bring him home (to her). She was very upset that he was living so far away and that my daughter had not moved to where they lived before. Initially, that was the plan, until my daughter saw the condition of his home. She saw first hand during their time together how he would take his food to the couch then literally throw whatever he had on the floor afterwards. He would act childishly if my 7yo granddaughter (not his child) did something her age. She threw a slipper at him and he whipped it back at her. He would shove her off the couch if she was sitting next to him and getting on his nerves. She kept touching him in his face area and he said she was deliberately trying to poke him in the eye. Everything that was said or done inside the household was ran past his mother, who he talked to several times a day and it would be used to control my daughter. He wanted to spend all of his money, which he didn't have much at 30 hours a week and his needs came before the needs of the household and family. He would eat whatever he wanted, even if it came at the expense of taking food from my granddaughter's and daughter's mouth. My daughter could not right the financial boat because her bf's mother demanded he have the money he wanted for whatever he wanted whenever he wanted. Or else. Needless to say, there's so much more, but the point I'm trying to make is that 3 weeks after their son was born, mom ordered him to leave because she claimed my daughter was poisoning the baby with fluoridated water and my daughter reacted to the ensuing week long facebook rant against her by saying if the family members couldn't stop acting the way they were, stop publicly attacking her, she would not allow them to come visit. The day after Easter, after they had mutually signed a new Lease to a new apt and just moved in, he packed his stuff and left. He demanded his debit card which had the last $200 dollars he had saved for their next month's rent. In the months following, he decided to petition for custody. While that doesn't appear the outcome that will be, he is entitled to visitation. There is an understandable concern that even for the 6 or 7 hours he would have our grandson on a scheduled visit, he would be incapable of doing so unsupervised. My daughter's attorney seems to not think his condition is a big deal and should effect his ability to have unsupervised visits, but we know otherwise. We are concerned that the Court will rush an agreement to the detriment of our grandson's well being. We are NOT disputing the father's right to see and participate in raising his child. We want him to be involved, but only as is safe for our grandson. Any thoughts or suggestions?
Some people have terrible behavioural issues most with bpd take things as a personal attack not to justify what they did but they probably believed it all
How are things now? No, I don't think he should get any form of custody. Petition the courts for a restraining order. He was already violent with the children. He needs to be in intensive therapy in the psych ward. Demand that the court makes sure that he takes his medicine and goes to therapy. You have to protect your daughter and the children first. He's not mentally stable and it will be a life time struggle for him .... even when he's on medication.
Some people with personality disorders and other mental illnesses can raise children very responsibly. Many do a great job at it. This video is an extreme presentation of the disorder. Unless he's harmed his son, I seriously doubt courts will grant only supervised visits. I'm wondering if he's even diagnosed, besides just having suspicions. Even if he is, what matters to the courts is that he's capable of caring for the child and not abusing him.
I go to therapy and my therapist have mentioned i might have a personality disorder. I read about it and i can relate a lot to borderline personality disorder, but The quiet type. I would rage sometimes, but it’s always when i am alone. I have a son who is 8. He is The most important part of my life and i would never harm him in anyway. I dont want him to ever feel insecure or unsafe. I do my very best everyday to make our home a secure loving enviorment for him. I want him to bring friends home and i love it when he does. Children laughing and having a good times, gives me joy too. I’d do anything for my son❤
This is so triggering as a child of a mom with BPD. As kids, we didn't know what was wrong. I honestly thought all Mom's were like this. We still care for her through our adulthood. Having children myself helped me realize it wasn't normal.
It's never too late. I have bpd and was raised by a mother with bpd . And I wish , till this day...she really tried. Dont give up. No matter how old your children get. They need you. And love you. Even if they are older.
i feel like if i have kids i’m not going to love them how i should. i want to be able to do that and i want kids but i don’t feel for people and i’m kinda impatient and i don’t want to end up hurting them
The feeling of the world on your shoulders is tough especially when you're a single parent with children. At times in the past when I had become overwhelmed with anxiety and or panic attacks it doesn't help when there's no one you can trust to open up to. So I started to search the holy bible for the first time. I was seriously seeking it find answers in the new testament wanting to find out if God of the bible was real. I was a teenager had little to know understanding of what I was reading. Reading chapters and verses over many times everyday for weeks and months also hours at a time . It was the best decision I had ever made . By seeking to understand and know about and who is God . He also told me who I am in him . In no time all of my past insecurities and uncertainties Were no more . Because it is written God said he will never leave me nore forsake me . My confidence is in the lord God I boast in the lord not in a man not even in my self . It is written I can do all thing through christ who strengthens me. No doubt first confess your wrongs your sins then ask for his forgiveness then thank him for his loving grace and mercy. Now we can seek and talk to him a share whats on your heart and mind and believe he is listening . The holy bible is the living word of God. The original living never-ending story.
I have bpd I want kids more than anything but this scares me I wanna be the best thing in their life not the worst I don’t wanna be a monster I hope this isn’t like this for everyone
Hello, my first husband ( ex husband ) and I have 3 sons. Staying in the marriage was not a possibility. My ex received joint custody, during those visits I was not present and often when my boys came back I could tell, or was told of serious abuse taking place. I was unable to convince the court to stop my ex's visiting rights, so it continued. This said, today my eldest is 100% mentally disabled, unable to truly trust people. My middle child refused to have children due to his father's actions, my youngest one became an abusive husband. 😢
Beautifull filmed. I was an only child with a mother with borderline and DIS (33 personality’s). I was like the oldest child. My role was to keep her happy so there were no outburst. There were a lot of therapists around her, ánd me but nobody saw me for me. Had to grow up by myself and get the right help when I was an adult. Every kid gets hurt growing up in such an environment. especially when there is no other parent to guide the child. I am oké now I wished that therapists would guide the children more.
I can't get thru this video. We want help. I am also a full-time single parent of 3 boys. I suffer from 2 events, one was being severely abused for years as a child and the second is I'm a Death Row Exoneree. I was falsely accused of murder and sentenced to death by the electric chair and lived several years on Death Row. I am also a US Navy Veteran so have been getting help thru the VA for my Continuous P.T.S.D. and am scheduled to do an assessment for D.I.D.. My 2 ex wives and my family tell me I have multiple personalities that are completely unaware of the others. I miss time and can't remember a lot of things. All I know is one of us is trying to kill us. I couldn't get past the lady cutting her wrist. I just got out of a 72 for the same thing 2 weeks ago. I'm losing it. Things are getting worse. I need more help then the VA is offering. I can't hold a job. Or a relationship. My ex must be really fucked up if they gave me the kids. I feel unstable and have no one to help me. I'm afraid my boys are going to wake up to a dead dad.
:( I hope you're still here. Inpatient is needed to get you to where you need to be to jumpstart your recovery. I can't imagine being a sole parent to 3 kids with BPD and PTSD. My children would probably be in foster care to be honest -_- I have 1 child and her Dad is here full time even though we're not together. I know I cannot parent alone at this point and would absolutely fear CPS coming and swooping her up if I was. Inpatient, not through the VA, can change so many things. If you've already tried, I'm sorry it hasn't worked so far, but if not. a long stay may be exactly what you need to start getting better. I hope there is family close that may be able to take care of them for a little while, "Daddy needs to go and get better". It sounds like the only way to prevent things from going further downhill for you and the children. That evil part that wants you dead needs to be killed, not you
My sister was the oldest of 8. She is actually a model. She was smart to runaway though. She respected herself at 16. Well never blame her for it even though she regrets it we all love each other immensely
I think this is fake because, children imite wath they see, a problem mom they going to be problem child too. And they not seem to be like that! They act very mature and normal
@@clairecognizant6615 well my mother was a drug addicted alcoholic. And I have never smoked and dont drink. Truthfully her being like that made me more responsible ever since I was about 5 I had to look after my siblings while she was put drinking. I was the oldest and really felt I had to protect them. So in a way without all of that I wouldn't be as responsible.
Right I appreciate the intentions, but this NEEDS a trigger warning for self-harm at the very least, please, because people watching this could be really affected by that level of imagery
People with mental health conditions do not need your horrible judgement. Please do not say that it is triggering and educate yourself. Everyone is trying their best.vyou don't know what she's been through
