Тёмный

Couples Therapist: 5 Steps to Repair Conflict in Your Relationships | Eight Dates 

Steph Anya, LMFT
Подписаться 245 тыс.
Просмотров 68 тыс.
50% 1

What's Anya Mind, Friends?
Today, I share 5 steps to help you resolve conflict in your relationships based on the book, Eight Dates, written by two renowned couples therapists John & Julie Schwartz Gottman. These steps include identifying the conflict, understanding why it's happening, and coming up with a plan of action.
If you're struggling with conflict in your relationships, then watch this video! This therapist will share 5 steps that will help you fix the conflict and restore your relationships. These steps are easy to follow and will help you get through arguments and fights. So if you're looking for ways to repair your relationships, then this video is for you!
JOIN THE BOOKCLUB//
/ what-s-anya-page-steph...
BOOK MENTIONED//
Eight Dates by John Gottman Ph.D. & , Julie Schwartz Gottman Ph.D: amzn.to/3rsnW2h
FIND A THERAPIST//
www.aamft.org/Directories/Fin...
WEBSITE//
www.whatsanyamind.com
SOCIAL MEDIA//
Instagram: / _steph.anya
Goodreads: Goodreads: / stephanya
Facebook: / steph.anya.fb
EXAM STUDY PREP (that I use)//
American Association for The Behavioral Sciences Study (AATBS) Volume I & II (15% Discount): www.talkable.com/x/0pWfTO
FOR MEDIA & SPONSORSHIP INQUIRIES//
Please email: stephanya@thestation.io
GEAR//
Camera: amzn.to/2xJoybv
Mic: amzn.to/2XPZjin
Flash: amzn.to/3czlgGI
Mic: amzn.to/2ZxBDA4
Audio Recorder: amzn.to/3bUKG0J
Flash: amzn.to/3czlgGI
Lighting: amzn.to/2XnyQaa
Theme Song:
Prod. NDO: / ndobeats
Prod. Mari Beats: / @maribeats
In-Video Music:
Prod. Mari Beats

Опубликовано:

 

21 июл 2024

Поделиться:

Ссылка:

Скачать:

Готовим ссылку...

Добавить в:

Мой плейлист
Посмотреть позже
Комментарии : 105   
@kaylan5274
@kaylan5274 Год назад
My partner and I have been binge watching your content and applying it into our relationship. Thank you Dr Steph 🌸
@StephAnya
@StephAnya Год назад
So glad you two are enjoying the videos! Not a doctor yet haha, but thank you!
@kaylan5274
@kaylan5274 Год назад
@@StephAnya lol manifesting it for you !!! 😂❤
@DonzellLampkins
@DonzellLampkins Год назад
@@StephAnya great video. Question: I’m a fellow psychotherapist (LCSW). Are you interested in pursuing the practice or research doctorate?
@Lifewithpanga
@Lifewithpanga 2 месяца назад
I wish 😔
@derekenlow7607
@derekenlow7607 Месяц назад
How are things now?
@furiousstyles08
@furiousstyles08 Год назад
"Never try to win the argument. Win the heart. Then there is no argument to win". -Some dude.
@WiddleMousie
@WiddleMousie Год назад
I would love if you could do a video on “genuine responses” as opposed to “pacifying responses”. And how to respond in those situations
@laurafreeman3335
@laurafreeman3335 Год назад
I don't have a partner but I do enjoy the content that you give give out and I think this is good for all relationships not just people who have a partner
@StephAnya
@StephAnya Год назад
Thanks so much for watching ♥️
@raptrapcafe9139
@raptrapcafe9139 3 месяца назад
If you need one im available
@aaliyahahmed9112
@aaliyahahmed9112 Год назад
I normally shut down and am afraid to Express myslef coz I've been mocked lots of time all my life actually by those around me
@ModestGang86
@ModestGang86 4 месяца назад
Very relatable to me too😢
@RMaines
@RMaines Год назад
Thank you for being so generous with sharing your knowledge and experience.
@StephAnya
@StephAnya Год назад
Glad it was helpful!
@nataliam5744
@nataliam5744 Год назад
I really appreciate your content. Makes me reflect on myself like nothing else before. Thank you!
@SS-in1ts
@SS-in1ts Год назад
This is very helpful for all relationships, relating in general. Thank you!! I’m saving it and keeping it handy. I have done a couple of these things and didn’t realize how much I contributed and made things worse.
@emmasmith6180
@emmasmith6180 23 часа назад
You have the most gracious, eloquent presentation I have ever seen!
@StephAnya
@StephAnya 23 часа назад
You’re so kind! Thank you 🫶🏽
@wolfcrowned7138
@wolfcrowned7138 Год назад
Thank you Steph Anya!
@Miss.Bri_
@Miss.Bri_ 10 месяцев назад
I enjoyed this video, definitely retained some great tips to apply to my currently relationship.
@cal.w5269
@cal.w5269 Год назад
That was great advice. I’m grateful to you
@user-pi2gd8ps3p
@user-pi2gd8ps3p Год назад
I love your videos, they've really helped me be more introspective with myself. I'm wondering if you have content about long distance relationships- the struggles, how best to keep them healthy, etc? Thank you Dr Steph!
@jbn9029
@jbn9029 Год назад
She is so intentional. ❤️
@divinelyguided1144
@divinelyguided1144 Год назад
Awesome video thank you 🙏🏾
@sin3358
@sin3358 Год назад
I needed this so much. I really appreciate the videos you put because even thought I had a vague idea how to handle conflict, your videos help me make it easier for me to be able to express my emotions better. Sure, I use the "I" statement but I'm still unsure how to say it efficiently enough so it doesn't sound like I'm attacking my partner. I love the knowledge you share. Thank you do much!
@Elizabeth_Temi
@Elizabeth_Temi Год назад
Amazing video 🙌🏾❤️ thank you
@ES-gw7zh
@ES-gw7zh 5 дней назад
I hope the videos I've watched so far and the notes I've taken help mend the lack of communication in my relationship.
@angieBhanson
@angieBhanson 6 месяцев назад
Hi Anya! Another great video from you!
@fayem1336
@fayem1336 Год назад
Great message!
@KalloMoney
@KalloMoney 13 дней назад
Kind and gentle spirit
@NDObeats
@NDObeats Год назад
I’m really enjoying this book so far! Thanks for the recommendation and video. Love reading with you.
@StephAnya
@StephAnya Год назад
🤗♥️
@balbineguylaine
@balbineguylaine Год назад
Hi Steph 😊 needless to say that I love your content. It’s so so helpful! A question I have: have you ever considered doing a video (or a series) on long distance relationships? :)
@tadiwanashemugari4349
@tadiwanashemugari4349 Год назад
I second this
@teayacassie4830
@teayacassie4830 8 месяцев назад
Yesss!! I hope she responds
@Scotstralian
@Scotstralian 2 дня назад
At the risk of coming across as negative, from what ive seen, they don't work. (And I don't just mean me) Although i have been there too. I really wish you all the best however I have yet to see it work long term.
@stevensantora2976
@stevensantora2976 Год назад
Great video Steph! I have bought the book. Thank you for all the work that you do.
@StephAnya
@StephAnya Год назад
Thank you!
@persciviawatuka1587
@persciviawatuka1587 3 месяца назад
thanks for this ❤
@missjeffersonifyanasty9571
@missjeffersonifyanasty9571 Год назад
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾❤️👏🏾❤️❤️❤️ excited for this live!!!
@StephAnya
@StephAnya Год назад
Yay! Me too!!
@RunninChic620
@RunninChic620 Год назад
Just joined your group!! So excited!!
@StephAnya
@StephAnya Год назад
Yayyy! Happy to have you!
@thrill102
@thrill102 Год назад
Good video!
@91splamy
@91splamy Год назад
I have a hard time talking about issues because regardless of whether we give it time to cool it down or not, I get angry or upset pretty easily and then he doesn’t want to continue. I do t know how to stop doing that. It feels like he just wants to let things settle and move on without talking about it. I need to talk through it to get over it, otherwise it feels unresolved.
@stacmont2
@stacmont2 7 месяцев назад
I can relate to this
@Scotstralian
@Scotstralian 2 дня назад
Ditto
@candacecarter5864
@candacecarter5864 Год назад
You’re really good!
@Don_Willy
@Don_Willy Год назад
Thank you
@StephAnya
@StephAnya Год назад
Thank you for watching & commenting :)
@aaliyahahmed9112
@aaliyahahmed9112 Год назад
Been strangling with finding a partner am alyah and my mom is making it so hard I do belive in prayers make me part of yours
@Neo-wy2oc
@Neo-wy2oc 4 месяца назад
Could you make a video on handling conflict and keeping the spark for long distance relationships?
@Star-dj1kw
@Star-dj1kw Год назад
❤Great Video!!
@StephAnya
@StephAnya Год назад
Thank you!
@ROBERTDAVis2271
@ROBERTDAVis2271 Год назад
Fantastic video 👍🏿
@StephAnya
@StephAnya Год назад
Thank you!
@aaliyahahmed9112
@aaliyahahmed9112 Год назад
You hair looks so good lots of love I love your composure too 💋
@StephAnya
@StephAnya Год назад
Aw thank you!! ♥️
@JennyGaston
@JennyGaston Год назад
Another great video! As long as too individuals desire to grow and have mutual respect, then the relationship can flourish. Sadly many relationships are about power and control and breeds toxicity.
@gracea7471
@gracea7471 3 месяца назад
I enjoyed this-- I think though that these tips are good when you're interacting with someone reasonably emotionally healthy. If your partner is a narcissist or has really limited empathy, these techniques probably won't work. If the narcissist can't take any ownership or accountability for their own role in the conflict (they can't, lol), then one person going above and beyond won't help and might serve as further ammo for them being gaslit/invalidated, etc.
@carolinasanabria7069
@carolinasanabria7069 Год назад
Heyyyy. Usually we give each other space, and then talk when we’re ready. Or we’ll talk right away. And then enjoy a walk.
@StephAnya
@StephAnya Год назад
I love the idea of a walk! They actually suggest that for the date for this section to symbolize moving together in the same direction.
@jessek-9scentdetectiontrai10
Beautiful Smile ❤
@silvias2828
@silvias2828 8 месяцев назад
Me and my husband talked about everything but things are getting worse and worse! Any other bright ideas?
@londonmatchmaker
@londonmatchmaker 4 месяца назад
This right here 👉 Identify your triggers it might be a feeling of rejection it might be you are feeling ignored. Make sure you communicate how you feel and create openness with your partner to avoid conflicts or arguments in your relationship.
@johnrainsman6650
@johnrainsman6650 6 месяцев назад
I'm currently mad at my girlfriend. See, we've had arguments so many times, and so far, it's always been my fault. I was always the one who was wrong and had to apologize. The one who had to redeem themself. And I have no problem with owning my mistakes. It's just, I'm tired of being _that guy._ Yesterday, I told my girlfriend that I was jealous of her. Jealous that she was always right and I was always wrong. That it brought me so much pain and self-doubt. And she said, "It's not always about right and wrong." That actually angered me. Can anyone guess why? I don't want to have to explain it. I want someone to understand how I'm feeling without clarification. So again, I told her how I was jealous of her for always being right...how I was in pain by constantly being "the bad guy" while she was "the good guy" in our conflicts...and she said it isn't always about right and wrong. Why do you think that response bothers me?
@iamashleyiam
@iamashleyiam 9 месяцев назад
How do we make an appointment with you?
@missjeffersonifyanasty9571
@missjeffersonifyanasty9571 Год назад
Thank you needed this❤ you mentioned that “and then you yelled at me” was bad communication. Do you have a video further explaining how that is bad communication? I understand from my own sessions with my therapist that I should be focusing on my feelings rather than what the person did because my partner can feel attacked but maybe there’s more to that?
@StephAnya
@StephAnya Год назад
Hey! Yep. You answered it. Since the meaning of "yelling" is subjective, you want to focus on facts. "I felt scared when it felt to me like you were yelling." Does that make sense?
@missjeffersonifyanasty9571
@missjeffersonifyanasty9571 Год назад
@@StephAnya yes thank you that does make sense. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽 I honestly never thought of yelling as subjective.
@StephAnya
@StephAnya Год назад
@@missjeffersonifyanasty9571 I didn't realize it either until I realized so many of my clients refute with, "That's just how I talk!"
@missjeffersonifyanasty9571
@missjeffersonifyanasty9571 Год назад
@@StephAnya GIRL! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 it burns my biscuits every time 🤣
@kle105
@kle105 Год назад
I feel this so much. When I am in conflict and get anxious my voice gets louder and quicker but I’m not yelling at or about anyone. It’s my trauma response to confrontation
@devinalexander7415
@devinalexander7415 6 дней назад
My partner refuses to do anything on the list until I validate her feelings. I do my best to validate her feelings, but sometimes I get triggered when I am judged so harshly for not being a good partner when I'm trying my best. She will not admit her part in the fight, she will not admit her triggers, she will not admit that she could have communicated better before, during or after the conflict, and she will not let me express my needs because she said she can't meet any of them until I validate her feelings the next time it comes up. To me this feels like someone who isn't willing to work with me, and someone who isn't letting love win. I can take accountability and know where I was in the wrong and apologize, but she has not accepted any part of her behavior during the altercation. What can I do if she isn't willing to do the work with me on anything from the list? She told me it's all up to me because it was a problem that I caused. Feeling deflated.
@mbtilover3575
@mbtilover3575 Год назад
I’m curious to know how someone should interact with a partner that doesn’t share their more vulnerable feelings like if they are hurt feel rejected jealous etc because a lot of people can have a barrier up and just keep talking about the details of something and never express how something made them feel. I have experienced this in friendships with men and woman. So I guess my question is can peoples communication styles in expressing feelings change ? or if they don’t, do we just have to keep putting the pieces together on a feeling they may be feeling but they never directly say because of embarrassment or scared of vulnerability ?
@raquellpn7482
@raquellpn7482 3 месяца назад
How can I book a session with you?
@Light_in_the_Darkness730
@Light_in_the_Darkness730 6 месяцев назад
Tips for Marital Conflict - How We Stop Yelling and Start Laughing Again ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-IczYqlXQv3M.html
@Sharzad
@Sharzad 10 месяцев назад
What do you do if your partner doesn’t want to talk about any of this at all, even to tell you what you did that bothered or triggered them?
@shweshwe_k8177
@shweshwe_k8177 3 месяца назад
I can relate to this. I'm learning to accept that if he wanted to he would
@DownSouthHottie
@DownSouthHottie 10 месяцев назад
But what if he just degrades your feelings? What if he dismisses your feelings?
@lebu5825
@lebu5825 10 месяцев назад
If he doesn’t respect you, then he needs to do some internal work.
@faith7934
@faith7934 Год назад
How much do you charge for me and my partner?
@emom551
@emom551 7 месяцев назад
They are running ads about you don’t need couples therapy during your video!
@paulalatham6634
@paulalatham6634 6 месяцев назад
Think before you speak 😊
@jessicatill4981
@jessicatill4981 11 месяцев назад
Could Relationships jess till
@angieorozco8766
@angieorozco8766 Год назад
Can I hire you for my relationship issues???
@StephAnya
@StephAnya Год назад
I wish! I’m only licensed in Georgia and my caseload has been full. I do have a link for you to find another MFT in the description box.
@ace1007
@ace1007 15 дней назад
What if the things that are bothering your partner aren't what actually happened and they are accusing you of things that are against your character based on feelings despite the facts...
@kimbershark
@kimbershark Год назад
You're so gorgeous 😍 ✨️
@KalloMoney
@KalloMoney 13 дней назад
Not my accountability area
@KalloMoney
@KalloMoney 13 дней назад
#DB
@DeVeraJackson-Garber
@DeVeraJackson-Garber Год назад
Thank you for this video. Helpful tools. Just a suggestion, as a queer person, I would find it helpful to show examples of queer couples. I noticed that the clips were all straight couples.
@KalloMoney
@KalloMoney 13 дней назад
Mute im not attracted to arguing yelling or pain
@yaaafrifa8974
@yaaafrifa8974 10 месяцев назад
You are a Barbie girl ❤
@KalloMoney
@KalloMoney 13 дней назад
B4 40 no
@KalloMoney
@KalloMoney 13 дней назад
Losing my virginity intentions
@KalloMoney
@KalloMoney 13 дней назад
I dont possess any deadly sin
@KalloMoney
@KalloMoney 13 дней назад
God Family Career
@KalloMoney
@KalloMoney 13 дней назад
Pem click
@anamosa1574
@anamosa1574 Год назад
Are you married what is your realationship status Mad people be out here giving advice when they are a train wreck in their personal lives particularly therapists
@anemptyhollow
@anemptyhollow 10 месяцев назад
She's married
@PrettyVicious
@PrettyVicious 7 месяцев назад
She mentioned her husband in the video
@speedyblackston1647
@speedyblackston1647 8 месяцев назад
Thank you
Далее
Stop Gottman's Four Horsemen (Attack/Defend Cycle)
20:52
Couples Therapist | 10 Tips For Good Communication!
12:52
I Wouldn't Have Cheated If I Knew THIS...
16:17
Просмотров 411 тыс.