Customer Service Brainrot 

_matt rosalicious_

“They are drastically improved by being read out by a middle aged British man.” Yes, yes indeed.

Okay, but telling someone who buys something that is known to give users cancer “Good luck” is both kind and evil. I love it.

Never forget the time I couldn’t remember what the word for thirsty was and asked one of the customers “are you water- do you- water hungry?” 💀

if i ever told my waiter i needed a minute to look at the menu and they just said “it’s time” i think i’d have a panic attack lmao😭

Once when I was drunk, I walked in to a gas station to buy more alcohol, and it was *very* expensive. So I said to the cashier; "- THIS IS A ROBBERY!", realized what I had just said and quickly added; "by YOU! BY you! It's so expensive, it feels like you're robbing me!" Nailed that one! 😅

I worked at a McDonalds part-time for three years after high school. One night, I was at home getting ready for bed, and I was preparing to say my nightly prayer. I started the prayer with "Welcome to McDonalds-" then caught myself and broke into a fit of laughter. I had just welcomed God to a McDonalds that I wasn't even in at the time. It was that night that I decided it was time to get out of there. X3

"Edward will be your sedward", funniest thing I've heard in my entire life. Almost sounds like a Nickelodeon show from the mid 2000's

As someone who has never been in customer service, I can’t relate but I can laugh

When I was at university I was working Sunday morning in KFC. I wasn't really awake yet, as it was like 7 am, so when someone ordered coffee, I automatically said "Of course, with bacon and cheese?". Customer said "yes". We stared at each other for good few seconds while our brains slowly worked out what the hell happened.

I guarantee you that the manager seriously considered keeping “dougalicious” as a permanent greeting

I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve tried to tell a customer to have a good day and have a nice day, and ended up telling them to “have a nice gay”

I once greeted a customer by saying "hi how are you?" To which they said "good, how are you?" And I replied "doing alright! How are you?" And I think we would have just kept doing this if his wife hadn't started laughing at us. I have never been able to look this man in the eye since

This whole video reminds me a lot of a story I read once, where this woman had worked at Walmart, but quit and switched to Target as her job. One day, she had to make an announcement, and she said "Attention, Walmart shoppers!". She realized what she's doing, and quickly said, "You are in the WRONG store!"

I worked at Starbucks for years. They make you call out “Welcome in!!” to anyone who walks through the door. I was sitting in my old Starbucks at one point last year working on my laptop (I don’t work there anymore), saw a person walk in out of the corner of my eye, and yelled out “WELCOME IN!!”. They didn’t say anything to me…the random person working on their laptop who had just enthusiastically welcomed them into the Starbucks

i have my own announcement horror story. i work at ulta, and i finally memorized one of our announcements and had ran through it without the script once that day. i tried to do it again and blanked part of the way through, so i ended up saying, "attention ulta beauties! do you want to save 20%... OH NO" and i tried to hang up the phone but I DROPPED IT WHILE THE LOUDSPEAKER WAS STILL ON SO IT WAS DEAFENING AND EVERYONE IN THE STORE WITNESSED IT. my coworkers laughed at me for the rest of the day

one time I was serving a family with a baby, the mom was in the middle of feeding the baby baby food and said “open wide for the food plane” and I just instinctively opened my mouth, I stood there for a few seconds with the family just watching until I started to walk away with my jaw gaping open, _still holding their food._ I had to go back and apologise

The idea of a server asking you "do you have an umbilical cord" had me dry heaving

worked as a CVS cashier and one night it was really slow so I chilled out next to the pharmacy desk taking to the pharmacist about video games. An old dude came in and picked up a prescription and the pharmacist said: "That'll 28 dollars and 68 fucking cents." to which she immediately apologized to him profusely because he was very polite and nice. Me and the other pharmacists were cry-laughing, and the old dude was really cool with it and laughed too.

I once worked in a pub restaurant where we had shorthand codes for all the items on the menu, that the kitchen and waiting staff used to comunicate the orders quicker. One of our specials was the spinach and mushroom lasagna, which, in kitchen code, was 'SML' and we verbally pronounced as "smell,' for speed. On one occasion, a waitress took an order out to a table of two people - a fish and chips and one of our spinach and mushroom lasagnas. She presented the fish and chips to the man with no issue, but when it came to his wife she accidentally used the kitchen code for the lasagna instead of the actual name - meaning she held it in front of her and said "SML?" (i.e "smell?") The look of fear and confusion on the face of the poor customer as she nervously leaned forward and obediently took a sniff of her lasagna..!

everybody thanks Matt for everything but nobody thanks his mic, it goes through a lot to make these videos happen, so I'll say it, THANK YOU MATT ROSE’S MICROPHONE

Never gonna forget the time I walked up to a table and wanted to say "Can I get an appetizer to get you started?" And also "Would you like an appetizer to start you off?" What I actually said was, "Would you like an appetizer to get you off?"

I used to work at a pet supply store. One day my boss was looking at the cans we put out and she didn’t like how we organized it. She grumbled something along the lines of “oh so stupid“ but I thought she said “Yum good soupy“ so I started cheering like “yes, very good soupy the dogs love it” and she was not impressed

Could you *imagine* being that customer calling, hearing the person on the other end say "dougalicious" and then having the call abruptly end

a friend of mine once discorded me through tears of laughter because her coworker was using the store's loudspeaker system and accidentally defaulted to his old job, saying "Attention K-Mart shoppers-" before panicking and realizing it was the wrong store. they work at bed bath and beyond.

when i was 13 and worked at a cafe for a school project there was this day where the apple pie with whipped cream was really popular and i got used to spraying the cream. at some point there was this guy who put his hand out (he wanted a napkin) and i nodded and said "yes sir" AND SPRAYED THE CREAM ON HIS HAND. he was absolutely shocked to the core and i hid in the bathroom for the next 30 minutes.

One time when I was selling girl scout cookies, I attempted to call out to a woman passing the front of the store, "Do you want to buy some girl scout cookies?" BUT INSTEAD, I SLAMMED my hands onto the cookie table, and YELLED "HEY! YOU WANT TO GO?" My friends were of course all there selling as well. They never let me live this down.

I once said "What" in the most monotone voice. It started with the normal customer service "Hello, welcome to McDonald's! Will you be using out mobile app today?" "No, give is just a moment please!" "Alright, order whenever you're ready!" ... ... ... "Hey, I have a question" (In the most monotone and almost angry voice): "What." They broke down laughing

I used to work at a donut shop. When referring to the donut holes, a man asked "how much is half a dozen?" I said "six." He meant the price.

While doing an internship for school at Hemköp (a Swedish grocery store), an old lady told me that God had made me work there because he hated me. She told me this after her having found the specifically non-organic lentils that I had failed to point out the location of a few minutes prior. This was truly an eye opening experience for 14-year old me, I have had nothing but respect for everyone working in the service industry since.

I work at a Culvers and while taking an old man’s order, I heard one of my coworkers barking. after I finished I loudly asked “who is going feral back there?!?” the mic was still on.

I used to work at Chick-fil-A. My first day on the job, I placed down the trays and when the teenage girls told me “thank you”, I gave an awkward smile and said “My problem”. I was thinking of “No problem” and “My pleasure” at the same time.

A few days ago I had ordered something from Starbucks and the lady tried to say "have a nice day" and "have a lovely day" and ended up just telling me "have a lice!" I was with a friend and we stared at her, completely confused, until she explained. We laughed with her, then said the same thing to another customer about ten minutes later 💀 She was awesome

Worked at an escape room for two years always had to give big speeches and always be “in character”. Got a side seasonal job Hot Topic and answered the phone with “Hello what are you escaping today!”. Terrified the person on the other end 😭💀💀

You posted this the VERY SAME DAY I called a customer with a concern about their tub/shower not working, and told them that I’d heard they needed a help with some plub.

AS A CHICK FIL A WORKER THE ONE ABOUT MISTAKING KIDS FOR DOGS HAPPENS CONSTANTLY ITS SO EMBARRASSING

I work at Starbucks, and one time I was asking a customer for her name. When she answered I was going to respond with “oh, perfect!” But instead I tripped up on my words and said , “oh, person!” Like I was surprised to see a human being in the drive through.

Honestly, I have so much respect for customer service workers. One time me and my family were heading home from a vacation, it was early in the morning, I was still half asleep, and we stopped at a McDonald’s for breakfast. I really wanted a pie, but didn’t know if I wanted apple or cherry so I decided to get both. When it was my turn to order I stared the cashier lady in the eyes and said “I would like two *apple* pies, one apple and one cherry.” Bless her heart, either she was still tired too or she was used to this kind of thing, because she didn’t even bat an eye, meanwhile my dad is trying his best to not laugh, my sister is rolling on the floor in hysterics, and my mom also not being a morning person was just as clueless to what I said as I was. I was completely mortified once I realized what I had said, but hey at least I got my pies.

This time I was the customer at a Mother's Day thing, and I gave the guy the right amount of money for a candle. Afterwards I said "Keep the change" because I saw it in movies and thought you just was meant to say it. I was like 7 and it still haunts me to this day...

I work at an Aldi, and once managed to completely mentally check out for the 4 seconds it took me to get the next cart positioned beside me to start the next person’s order. The next person was an older lady, and with a smile on my face, pleasant as could be, I said “Hi, how old are you?” 🙃

I used to work as a barista, and when I handed someone their coffee they asked if it was the lactose free one, and I just said "I hope so" and walked away. I actually didn't even know.

Over my time as a cashier, I came to realize that when I said "Have a nice day," I really meant "Please leave." The day I accidentally said what I meant felt like I had a hole digged through me.

Replying "Okay" to that customer telling them where to shove that pizza is kind of a power move, really

I remember I was seating a family of 4 once. After they got seated, I looked at the woman and asked her “I’ll bring over some kids menus. Three, right?” She looked at me all confused and then told me they just needed two. One of the people, who I assumed was another kid, was in fact her husband

Matt’s like a humour amplifier, I laugh more at these things if he reads it out loud.

I worked at McDonald’s and one day a woman and her daughter came in and asked for an M&M Mcflurry. For some reason I could not for the life of me make an M&M McFlurry. So I made an Oreo one. And I threw it away. Then I made another Oreo McFlurry. And I threw it away. And another. And another. This went on probably 6-8 times at which the mother and daughter both just started feeling bad for me. The mother even called out “No!” as I was making what would be the last mistake that night. I just gave up and asked a co-worker to make them an M&M McFlurry. Deep down, maybe, I wanted them to have an Oreo McFlurry because I would never eat an M&M McFlurry. Theories still ongoing.

One time me and a few coworkers (including the guy that usually takes orders) were in the back preparing pizza during a really slow time of day for business and I started doing an Italian monster voice talking about the pizza and went to grab marinara sauce and saw a mortified customer waiting to have their order taken 🙃🙃

My bf and I now call you "Rat Moses", we watch your videos together, too. Thank you, Rat Moses, for being British

Nice to know this happens to everyone. I worked at a grocery store and asked a guy if he had a rewards card for the store as I was giving him back the rewards card

Was helping this lady out in the meat dept during thanksgiving and she was looking through all the turkeys, she asked me “Do these birds get any bigger?” I said “No ma’am they’re dead”

I work at Chick- fil - A, so when I worked up front it was policy to say the characteristic "My Pleasure". One time I went to say "my pleasure" and "no problem" at the same time and instead said, while looking them dead in the eye, "No pleasure. My problem. I"m sorry."

oh god, I worked at goodwill and my poor coworker said over the pa "thanks for shopping at Walmart!" and she realized it quickly after, cried, and said she'd never even worked at Walmart! i was HOWLING

Once my teacher told a story of how the waiter went around and asked her, “how is your food?” My teacher said that it was bad, and the waiter said “great!” And walked away. Later she came back and said, “Excuse me, did you say you didn’t like it?”

Several weeks after I started working at Walgreens, I was home alone late one night. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my cat walk into the room... and I turned and asked her if I could help her find anything.

7:16 "WE WILL WE WILL, SHIT SHIT. WE WILL WE WILL SHIT SHIT. CMON, SING IT."

There’s this guy that works at my local arby’s that just says “happy to help” to everything said to him and honestly i dont blame him for just sticking to the script

As someone who currently works in customer service I laughed harder than I normally do because of how relatable some of these were. I once confidently told someone “Good morning!” It was the very end of my shift and was quite dark out. I was also outside at the time as well.

here’s a story that actually happened to me today. I’m a paramedic and I had a patient that thanked me for my help once we got him into his room in the ER and I replied with “no, thank YOU” and left. I was like, did I just thank this man for having a medical episode?

Once, when my best friend finished serving a table that was celebrating their grandfather’s 95th birthday, she accidentally told him, “Enjoy the rest of your days 😁!” And was too shocked to correct herself so she just walked away as if it’s what she meant to say xDDDD

I used to work in a grocery store. Once I was walking down a busy isle and had to squeeze past a very large woman. She was putting a package of bacon in her shopping cart. I meant so say excuse me to her, but instead I looked her right in the eyes and said ”cannibalism” with a big smile in my face.

As someone who doesn't work in customer service, I declare this extremely relatable.

Spent a decade in customer service, and I never will do it again, but I fondly remember the time I worked at the Best Buy complant desk, and I tried to tell someone "Stop harrassing Arash" (my coworker) but it came out as "Stop harrash her ass", and I paused in a fit of brain rot and confidently concluded "...her ashes." Dude slammed the desk and left.

Omg the ammount of times I've asked a customer "do you need the receipt" either as a first greeting or while saying goodbye after already having handled the reciept is PAINFUL!

I'll never forget walking into McDonald's in the morning and confidently asking for "an egg and cheese spackrack"...snack wrap was clearly too hard for me.

I picked up the phone at my job while looking at my boss hoping she would help me with the sheer volume of people calling in. Instead of asking the customer on the phone “can you hold?” I asked “can you help me?” Also Matt, normally idc how you refer to yourself- except you’ve identified yourself as being 33 recently, which is the same age as me, so can you …. PLEASE….. not call yourself “middle aged”? 😭🤣😭 we’ve got seven years left!

Ah.....Matt, you could read a stereo instruction manual outloud and I would laugh. You, sir, are a comedic genius, and in a world where laughter is rare, you brighten my day immensely. Thank you! ❤🏵️♥️

Imagine the guy calling that “Douglas” place and just hearing the other person say “dougalicious” and then they hang up

I worked for a call center like 20 years ago and this is when customers were first learning to pay online. I had to do a temporary password reset for a customer and the only parameter was I tried to use was something simple so the customer could get back in to reset. I once told the customer "Ok, your temporary password is password - Capital P, lowercase assword". As soon as it was out of my mouth, the lady on the other line burst out laughing. I apologized profusely and my company loved playing the recorded call in training sessions. A friend told me they used it to train new employees on what not to do for years afterwards 😂😂

I work in retail and a customer I had helped left and told me to have a great day, and I just replied with “hi”. Realizing my mistake I yelled “WAIT NO HAVE A GREAT DAY” and startled the person next to me. I also once told someone the signs were on sale instead of “the sales are on the signs”. I’m usually an eloquent speaker but gosh dang it customer service brainrot really throws that out of the window.

I once mixed up the steps I was supposed to go through as a cashier so badly that I ended up asking the customer "Are you a phone?" I was supposed to first ask if they were a member of our rewards program, then ask for their phone # number if they were.

3:00 T H E F I S H

2:04 I’ve actually had this exact thing happen to me but in reverse; Someone asked me for a pad but I heard “pet” and I said “yeah I have a cat!”

I had some pretty bad brainrot when I worked at CVS in the pharmacy. I was picked to do a PA for a customer, and hadn't done one before so I was like "Hello, hello, is this on?" all over the store, before I recognized it was on and finished the announcement with the other techs cracking up at my reaction. I also wanted to do a follow up call for a patient, reached his spouse, and she confusedly asked "isn't he there already?" I called the pharmacist's wife looking for him while he was working, 10 ft away from me.

I once did a closing announcement where I stuttered horribly and exclaimed "fuck-" and then restarted the announcement and ended it with "holy shit" because I thought I pushed the end button but it was still going and like four people stopped shopping just to stare at me 💀

I work at an asian fast food place that has spring rolls as well as noodles. A person in the drive once tried to order 6 noodles, and I was like you mean 6 packages, he said no I mean 6 noodles. I was so stunned and told him we don't sell noodles individually, this confused him. The back and forth continued until I asked if he meant something other than noodles, turns out he didn't realize that he had said the word noodle in place of spring rolls for the past two minutes

Once, when I was ordering salad at a restaurant, the waitress asked me what type of dressing I would like, and me, normally eating ranch on all my salads, confidently answered “regular”

this video was MADE for me- here’s some of my stories: i work at a restaurant and im a host so im consistently telling people to enjoy! (very enthusiastic) their meal. on more than one occasion someone has asked me for the location of our bathroom and after telling them and they say thank you i go “please enjoy!” the amount of awkward looks i’ve gotten is insane. also, one time i was helping out a customer over the phone and he said thank you and i was trying to say “no problem” and “my pleasure” and i said “my problems…. umm goodbye” and hung up. i was also helping with a doctor pepper sampling one time and we were giving out dr pepper zero sugar cans in dr pepper koozies and someone came up to me and asked if we were selling the koozies and i tried to tell him “they’re free” while also says “it’s dr pepper zero sugar” and looked this man dead in the eyes and said “it’s free sugar!” and shoved the can into his hands.

your line delivery when saying "fucklet chodgecake" was immaculate

Working at a little cafe once, had a regular came in (who I knew quite well) and he ordered a hot tea from me. I rang him up, turned to start his tea, and was just talking away to him. When I was done, I popped the lid on, turned back to him, handed it off and went, “Careful. It’s… tea.” I meant to say that it was hot, but my brain had shut off a long time before then. I was on hour 8 of a 10 hour shift, with no break. He opened the lid, and acted scared to see it to make me laugh (which worked) as I slowly slunk to the floor in embarrassment.

I was supposed to go greet a customer and ask if they needed anything but totally forgot why I went up to her and ended up saying “why you shop??” And immediately turned back around and went back to the resister without giving her a chance to speak 😞

Putting a card in a customers mouth is unbelievable, had me dying

"that'll be all" "yeah I get that a lot" probably the perfect thing to say if someone is socially awkward with you as a worker, just to break the tension

I worked at Starbucks, and a lady asked for a chocolate latte. I told her I'd call out a Mocha Latte and explained to her what was in it, so she wasn't confused. I made the drink, and like five minutes later she comes back and I swear to god goes "Why does my latte taste like chocolate"

“What would you like for dessert?” “Can I have the chocolate fudge cake?” “You mean the fucklet chodgecake?” “Yeah, that one!”

8:34 “Can I pweeaaassse mmm get a rootbeerrrrhhhhggggg?”

I will never forget the time I was in a pub in Cornwall, we had just ordered our food and drink and the waiter replied with ‘okay, I lo- I lov- I- I Uhm- I love you guys, I’ll get your drinks in a seconds’ he walked off smiling yet embarrassed and I didn’t see him again for the rest of the evening

I once tried to compliment a customer by saying both "your hair is so pretty" and "your skin is glowing" at the same time and ended up saying "Your hain sis plowing" 💀💀💀💀💀and then when I went to say "my pleasure" (I work at chick fil a) I said "my POWER" 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 SLGHSLDFLKDSH

I once dialed the wrong number at work. A man with litterally the deepest voice ive heard answers and goes "Hello?" and i proceed to ask "Hi, is this claire I'm speaking to" this was followed by the man erupting into laughter pn the other end

I was at Wendy's during one of my lunch breaks a couple weeks ago, and I asked for a single burger, and then I actually asked the cashier: "Do you guys have a 6-piece Chicken McNuggets?" I instantly realized what I said. She jokingly said back to me: "We have a 6-piece Chicken Nuggets, we don't serve McNothing!" That was probably my dumbest moment at a restaurant. 😱🤣

Matt, thanks for providing invaluable content that I can fall asleep to (is that a compliment?)

I was at the point of tears laughing while watching this. All you could hear from the other room was just a maniacal, "HeeHeheEehe" 🤣🤣 I didnt realize i needed a laugh so bad 😭

6:54 OH NO :(

Matt is one of the RU-vidrs who never fail to make me laugh no matter the mood. If you see this Matt, Hope your having a good start to your week

as somebody with slow processing which can occasionally result in a less-than-fortunate spoonerism or incomprehensible/rude phrase, I felt every single one of these deep in my bones and I wish all of these people a swift and easy recovery

YOU DID THE DEATH NOTE SOUND EFFECT! YES!!! I feel like if I was in customer service, I would do all of these things in chronological order.

I started crying at dougalicous I can just imagine the confusion of the person who called

I work at a local cafe and one time I was taking a customers order. They decided to order onion rings and that automatically comes with a sauce, including ranch. When asking them I tried to say "What kind of sauce would you like with that" but instead I said "What kind of ranch would you like with sauce?"

I used to work at a bank, and instead of asking a customer if they wanted their statement validated, I said “Would you like me to violate this for you?” 😶

I havent cried of laughter this hard probably in my life. Thank you.

I was literally choking on my laughter at one point, omg! This was hilarious!