D&D Players, What was the last stupid thing to happen at your table?  

Big one here that started a trend. The Druid, level one, say he has a plan. He leaves the rest of the party behind to walk up to the sessions main villain while he’s giving a speech. This is an armoured evil cleric and four guards. This druid walks up close, hopes that nobody kills him and casts thunderwave. He was able to push back two guards and kill a few innocent civilians but none of the enemies died, quickly surrounding and almost killing him. The rest of the party just waited in the crowd and left him to face the music. As the player was there failing his last death save, I decided to lighten the mood a bit by having the main bad guy kick the druid in the balls. That was the last thing poor Radagast experienced. The players all laughed, including a first time rogue, who has since just bailed and hidden somewhere at the first sign of danger.

PANR has tuned in. "I roll to seduce the lich," I said. We were dying. It was necessary! It was successful.

We knew there was a hidden door/staircase behind a wall, could not identify what would open it. Explored most of the house, still drew a blank. Decided to start bashing the wall, rolled horribly. Monk and Fighter went into the bathroom and proceeded to pry the bathtub from the floor and use it as a battering ram. 18 and 19 on their athletics checks, bathtub goes up, wall goes down. Once we stopped laughing and went into the secret staircase, we asked the DM what the intended solution was. All we had to do was investigate the bathroom for a hidden lever. Close enough, if you ask me, all we did was find our own lever.

My party encountered a group of goblin sibling NPCs named Mii, Yu, Hee, Hurr, Shi, and Hym. Anyone who doesn't already see where this is heading should do a RU-vid search for the Abbott and Costello bit, "Who's on First?"

We had a party member who once killed his character by fighting off a giant toad to help the party get away. He rolled a nat 20 to come conscious on a death saving throw, managed to get out of the toad's mouth, and was crawling away to safety when he saw the party regrouping to attack the toad, who was almost dead, to save his barely alive character in return. What did this guy do? Rejoin combat while stil crawling on his belly to attack the toad with 1 hp, stating specifcally, "I climb in the toad's mouth to attack". He did die after that. Same guy, different character, stumbled with the low level party on a wizard's tower. The party, full of sass and insults toward the wizard who they had no way of knowing was a much higher level (though they might have guessed from the tower, traps, and flesh golems roaming around), began to have a little chat with the wizard, who indulged their breaking and entering with light conversation. One of the other party members began to subtly taunt the wizard in her bad mood for having gone through so much stuff to get there, and this guy. This beautiful beast of a man, sees the wizard slowly losing his patience and, out of character, realized our party member's character was about to get fried. So, rather than let her take the hit, he had his character call the wizard a c-word under his breath but loud like a stage whisper to redirect the ire of the wizard, who immediately used power word kill on him. An idiotic sacrifice in game, a meta tactic from an older player to spare an emotional new player the loss of a character they were attached to. Some idiots are heroes in disguise.

As the Arson Hobos hang out with pirates a lot, they have some wicked grenades. In our last session, the party was behind enemy lines, surrounded by hundreds if not thousands of burrows dug by unknown undead creatures that hide from the sun in them. It's midday, and they are looking for traces of an ancient dead warrior. The wizard decides to see what would happen if he lit a fuse and dropped a grenade into a burrow. The entire party shouted in unison, "Why would you do that!?"

For me, it was stupid-funny, yet productive. I was running a new long-term campaign and had an easy fetch quest where they were supposed to retrieve a shipment from a protected shipwreck for a 'drifter'. There was supposed to be a chase after they run through, but they decided to falsify papers that declared them ship inspectors of the Naval Trade Federation and scared the living sh*t out of the guard ship's captain, which caused them to miss out on a lot of xp, which made them *significantly unprepared* for the next mission. It was creative, but unprepared. I had to really squeeze out my improv juices

The first campaign I was apart of as a player ended in a TPK. A TPK caused by both the GM and the party I was apart of making mistakes. First off, the party was fighting an Evil Ring leader of a Carnival who is a Fae. After being heavily insulted, the Fae brought out a Horn of the Wild Hunt and summoned a powerful enemy that Killed us. And Second, we forgot about the Fae Lion that can teleport which I convinced to join our side(I wasn't a druid). So yeah, the GM realized that he made the fight harder than expected and we realized our mistake for forgetting about the Talking magic Lion we had as an ally. Thankfully we all accepted responsibility for what had happened and agreed to move onto an Urban Fantasy campaign. Also, me and the other players had came up with the very basic concepts for what our Urban Fantasy Character would be the same session that our first campaign ended. I'm glad no one is going the Hillbilly who wants to fight Bigfoot route.

Our group had just start playing for the first time. Our xp system was largely based off kills. Which meant if you individually kill something, you get the xp for yourself. We had a guy who was the boyfriend of a friend, and he was just the worst. He was a heavy damage dealer so he already had more xp than anyone else. We get into a mini boss fight where we had 2 of us in the room fighting, our sorcerer had just hit the boss so hard that he was obviously just above death.. It gets to the pricks turn, and he sees if he can make it past getting my but kicked me, to the boss to finish him off when he saw he couldn't he decided to use his breath attack where it would hit everyone in the room. He killed all the enemies, got me to death saving rolls. Then started bragging about the xp. We then decided to go to a progression based system. (He got kicked out of our group, when we found out he was abusive to his partner)

I was doing my first ever campaign in high school with some friends. We were doing it during lunch, so sessions were only thirty minutes long at most. Well, to make matters worse I was in a party that was entirely focused on killing and maiming as many people as possible, which didn’t help when I was trying to play a character who fought with non-lethal magic. Anyway, what happened was that we had just killed half of a group of goblins a man had hired us to capture, but we still managed to capture enough of them to get paid. The man was having us wait at a carnival while he retrieved our reward. Well, one of the attractions was a combat tent where this sword master would challenge people to a test of skill for money. The first person to get nicked by the others’ sword 3 times lost. Well, for some stupid reason, every sword fighter in the party went in to challenge him and attempted to cut his wiener off. After the third person beat him and he had only barely gotten lucky enough to have avoided getting his wiener cut off completely, he closed up shop and we were all FORCED to leave the carnival immediately for our sword fighters’ actions.

paladin being an absolute ideologist not interested in negotiating, thinking that persuasion skills resolve everything. well, phyhics and game mechanics beg to differ sometimes. this time she almost drowned after threatening a band of fishermen/pirates after their capture so much, that they just decided to sink the ship we boarded instead of sailing it into haven for their imprisonment. well, her armor wasnt exactly cheap, but she had to leave it at the bottom of the ocean...

Wizard in our party cast ice knife on an enemy 5 feet away. Attack misses, but ice knife also does AoE damage. Enemy succeeds the save… wizard fails. Bro just knocked himself unconscious for absolutely no gain. Still the funniest thing to happen in our campaign.

I had a game where our party wizard was trying to help a caravan of halflings fight off a bunch of dog sized spiders. He cast fireball on one of the spiders on a wagon that sent the whole wagon off a nearby cliff

Get assigned by a wizard to find a lost tome of ancient powerful knowledge on the other side of the continent. Gave em a teleportation scroll to cut down travel time. Party heads out, has a nice rest and was end of that session. Start of new session; everyone realizes that no one actually took the scroll with them. Meaning they had to backtrack to get it or spend weeks traveling. Later in same session one tried to have a firefly hold a rope searving as a leash, and another got high on narcotics because a bird pooped on her head. Fun times.

In my first campaign I ever DMd for, the party was on a boat not too far from the coast. One of the members got knocked into the ocean by a rolling barrel, so we had to stop everything else and rescue them. The one in the ocean decided it would be fun to pick up a fish from the water and throw it. I had them roll to find a fish and again to see how far they could throw it. They found a fish and when they went to throw it, they rolled a nat 1. I told them they threw the fish so far it went around the entire globe, smacked them in the back of the head, and knocked them out cold. We still laugh about it to this day.

So... I once played a one shot in a live. They got shrinked and put in a cupboared. I let them fight a moldy chip. One guy twerked on the chip.... another One aete the chip and got food poisoning. They also spend half an hour to figure out a pussle where They had to play a Song while turning in a circle. I literly had to made a npc do it for them. Like. There were notes in a circle And a spinning arow next to it.

My players decided to keep exploring a cavern after finding the people they were sent to rescue. I reminded them that they had completed their goal, and the cleric said she was on her last spell slot, but they went anyway. Everyone proceeded to get mad at me because they walked into an illithid lair and got mind blasted. They're only alive because the wizard got a lucky crit after saving against the stun.

We help an Ancient Dragon!!! And he was gonna give us a gift. Are Warlock without missing a beat shouted, "I want that Golden Is Portapotty!" The whole table fell silent, and the DM with a straight face said. "The Dragon puts before us a Golden Portapotty." The Portapotty can shrink and be carried. And with the words magic words, "Defecation!" It will return to normal size. My Barbarian has a new stone for his sling

This was actually MY character playing a greataxe wielding barbarian. Tho partly me as well, being a new-ish player, but i like to believe he wouldve done this regardless, as its completely in hes character. there was some spiderwebs, that was shining and glistening like a glass mirror, on the other side there was weird looking spiders, i figured they used the web to travel to us if we didnt do something. So i swing my greataxe at the spiderweb, hoping to shatter it, wich i did, barely survived, and got out on about 5 hitpoints, my character now has a slight fear of spiders.

playing through a campaign that has mechanics inspired by various Monster Hunter games. My character uses what is essentially a weaponized slinger with a clutch claw attachment (think of a wrist mounted crossbow with a hookshot from zelda built into it). I used the clutch claw to latch onto a dragon's leg, which would have let me attempt to control it's direction via strength checks in order to wallbang it (run it headfirst into a wall at full sprint). unfortunately, i misread the dragon's telegraph, and the dragon takes off, complete with a kobold clinging to its leg, screaming in terror.

A group I was playing with were rolling really low scores throughout a session, when we visited a house filled with gnomes to get something that was in there. the monk in the group tried negotiating with them but once again rolled low which would have probably been fine but when the rest of the group tried to help their rolls weren't any better and that's when one of us panicked and started attacking them which caused the rest of us to panic and kill off this house of what was probably a twenty gnomes which how they were described kind of looked like the ones in Gravity Falls imagine those splattered across the walls, it didn't help that whatever curse was on our dice that day lifted the second initiative started, then in a later session the GM revealed that there was one surviving gnome that was now traumatized watching his entire family be slaughtered after just getting up to answer the door.

Used a wish spell. We have yet to see the full consequences.

‘I want to see what’s in the box!’ ‘We we’re ordered not to look in the box, just rescue it from the goblins and take the box to a specific location.’ ‘Ok, I’ll look in the box while everyone is asleep :)’ ‘…’ Also, just this, this character and Ranger were discussing how to kill a captive goblin RIGHT IN FRONT OF SAID GOBLIN WHILE STILL IN THEY’RE TERRITORY. Needless to say, the goblin started screaming, causing more to hear him and move to our position. Before anyone had anytime to react, I made my character (Barbarian Dwarf) grab her Frying Pan and knocked him out quickly. By that point, me and Cleric just wanted out of the dungeon.

Kobold Alchemist who uses flintlock pistols and and loves explosions. I failed a dexterity check with my pistol which caused the bullet to ricochet and hit our cleric and knock her out for the duration of the fight which wouldn't have been so bad if it wasn't a boss battle against an adult green dragon that nearly team wiped the party because our ONE and ONLY cleric was knocked out by accidental friendly fire

DM here. My players destroyed a tower that was meant protect a city from all kinds of danger, especially magic going wild. After they fled the city, a week or 2 later they wanted to go back to see what it was like...while actively being chased by a giant monster throwing trees at them. This monster only appeared because they destroyed the one thing protecting the city. Another example, they were told not to go to a specific church. They went, entered combat, captured an enemy, dragged throughout a crowded city, stripped him, robbed him, and then tortured him for information. They all looked shocked when the guards showed up. These are "good aligned" players.

In many cases, my existence! Okay for context I seem to have a curse. Every time we have a stupid moment, I seem to be involved, and we end up with the campaign closing!

Not D&D. I sent the PCs around town to do typical merc work as a part of a mission to support one of the hierarchy groups of the city. They came across an old man walking the street. Before they got to them, I put in their minds that some people could be deceitful about their intentions, and to not trust people. How that happened I don't really know, because I did mention to them that these houses would have crests on them somewhere to identify who they were. Anyway, as the PCs came up to this old man, two of the PCs had the bright idea to throw them across the street. They went 'YEET' and tossed the old man, who eventually landed on their head. They ended up killing a rather wealthy noble in town. This guy was going to reward them with special items after they finished off a monster who was actively trying to hunt them. Instead, they killed the monster's target. They avoided combat, but lost about half the money they would have gotten if they did the right thing. TL;DR: PCs think some old man is out to get them, throw them across the street to 'help them', and although not fought a mid-boss, lost out on a rather nice pay day.

Tbh those players from the emu story probably were high 😂

okay one of our players got nit in the ghads and i laughed so hard i stgarted choking on a doito heh

"You are now in the Faewild.". Mostly due to our fae-hating goblin party member dragging the sorcerer into the portal with them when he tried to slow them down...and the rest of the party, instead of attempting to help him stop the goblin, merely followed after. We're so dead because it's clear this was something to come back to later. We are level 2.

...maybe the Period counts as a "mike (microphone) drop."

I am banned from saying the words “what could possibly go wrong?”

I tend not to have these ^^U I mean I've got stories but no 'the players were just fuckwits' stories ^^U I go by the rule of 'even of a crit or crit fail, things can only go so right or wrong', meaning even a crit fail attack hits if the enemy is, say, asleep and unalerted. The damage is just halved. And no, no number of crits will let you break reality. It's *also* possible that I'm a fuckwit and just not considering a lot of things as being 'those kind of stories'. Even odds lol

How about a table called "Whiff-whaff"?

We read the latest news about Orcs are now Orkx.... Most of us are Latino of some stripe, I just can't with 5.0 anymore. We are going back to AD&D. They have out done the prom and coffee shoppe junk

CoS spoilers ahead! My party, last session, stole a fancy, gem-encrusted crown… from a locked chest… in the middle of infiltrating Castle Ravenloft in CoS! We are trying to save a lycanthrope from Strad’s dungeon with the help of another Lycanthrope. There’s absolutely nothing that could go wrong with having this item on us… *right?*

Our Klingon literally threw himself out the airlock. Bloodwine and glory do not beat oxygen. OOC he wanted to do a more serious character, so this was a way of offing a joke character. Also, turns out you can't board a Romulan D'deridex class warship using a bat'leth.

How dumb is it if the characters set off to find a monster in the forest and then fails(low rolls) when returning back to their camp.

The stupidest idea was to try and play D&D after 2020 where witches of the coast and Hasbro have censored their games

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