Characters are level 3 at this point... Barbarian: I found the crystal! Wizard: I think that's not right, the map says it's down this long tunnel, left turn, then in a cavern that is shaped nothing like this room. Barbarian: Well, I think I'll just take this (person-sized) crystal and if it's the wrong one I'll have an extra crystal to sell. I don't know how deep it goes, so I'll just break off the part sticking out of the ground. Wizard, Rogue, Artificer, and Paladin: Um, we're going to back up to a safe distance. GM, beaming: Alright, Barbarian, athletics check to break the nose spike from the slumbering Ancient Nickel Dragon. Everyone else, the room starts to shake...
First time I ran Tomb of Horrors (spoilers) The party finds the first devil face and, after tossing a few objects into it, the thief of the party says "I'll leap through the opening and see what is beyond the darkness!" So he yeets himself into the sphere of annihilation. After a few rounds of silence from the thief, one of the other party members declares "He must be stealing all of the loot! I jump in after him." Thus, the entire party tossed themselves into oblivion.
We were in a fight, and the wizard cast wish to turn me into a arrow, because the ranger had none left. Not to summon more, or to kill the BBEG, or anything like that. He turned me into an arrow. The ranger rolled a nat 1 on the attack roll. I needed a new character.
Recent one from a one-shot: The party was exploring an old abandoned bakery, and they found a money-filled lockbox. The dragonborn sorceror investigated it, and rolled a nat 1. Thought it was a brick. For some reason, decided to whack it against her head. Asked if she wanted to roll a check for it, she rolled a nat 20. Took 3 bludgeoning damage 🤣
I will probably have many stories to tell soon enough. Because in our latest session we have been given (see unleashed) a Deck of All Things. You heard that right. A Deck of All Things. This deck is supposedly 10 different Types of Decks of Many Things all comprised into one deck. And this deck is sentient and has near deity level power. And is going to randomly jump between each party member at random times tempting us to draw a card.
@@Diaphat From what my DM has told us. This deck has been built up because previous players he's had has drawn from it and it changed his homebrew world on massive scales. And the player was trying to fix his mistakes by adding cards, taking out cards, using fragments of different god's powers to fix it. Apparently this deck is so powerful that it even introduced/created a new continent and race into the world that wasn't supposed to be there.
From years ago a 3.5 party I DMed: The players were tasked with cleaning out some goblins from caves, which they did very neatly, killing the goblin shaman who lead the whole thing before he could really do much. As such, he never got around to using his wand of 'Touch of Jubilex' ( From Book of Vile darkness, nasty level 4 spell that infects someone with green slime ). Afterwards, they of course found said wand, and the elven wizard who had not prepped an identify spell, thought it was a wand of polymorph, so rather than waiting for morning and using an identify on the wand, decided in the middle of the night when people were sleeping to go away from their camp and use said wand.. on herself. Needless to say, she failed her fort save and the rest of the party found a puddle of green goo in the morning with the wand sticking out. I even tried disuading the player from doing this with the age old.. 'Are you sure you want to try this?' and 'Are you REALLY sure you want to zap yourself with a wand that you have no idea what it does?'.
I love it, and I love you guys! Brian von VA, thank you for reading the story of UTHER EISENBART! Glad I could make you laugh. As a bonus: following the campaign, the goddess told us we could all have a second chance at life (a detail not mentioned in this telling of the story was that was the bait for our characters, as they had all died previous to the campaign). Since Uther's goal in life was to be "unique" I told our DM he didn't want to go back to being a dwarf and would keep the pyroclastic half-dragon firm instead. When I initially drew the random character, I had a laugh at the idea I was raiding a tomb with skills like "animal handling" and "riding". So, I always imagine Uther riding off into the sunset, followed by a bunch of woodland animals following him like a Disney princess.
Here is a 'I rolled a nat one' from my most recent DND campaign. We were in a basement with around 12 orcs and some wooden pillars and a wooden ceiling and a dirt floor. My character (A tiefling sorcerer named Rieta) was forced to make a wisdom check. I rolled a NAT 1. With my -1 wisdom, that made it a zero. So my character thought 'Wood is definitely not flammable' and everyone was dying laughing. So I cast fire spells to play in character. Only two missed, and they landed in the dirt. I do not know how we did not burn down everything. Rieta, I have no idea how you managed this one.
One of my all time favorite characters was a Tabaxi Arcane Trickster who lived by the code: "Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back." Minor spoilers for "Under Whiteplume Mountain." We encountered a room with a pillar of water moving horizontally through the room with a hole in the wall on each side for the water to move through. I really, really wanted to know where this current let out at but, being a cat-person, I didn't want to get wet. So I come up with a brilliant idea. I toss one of my silver coins into the stream and watch it get whisked away in an instant. Half an hour later we are standing in the room with the inverted ziggurat; Manticores shooting their tail spikes at us from the bottom. As we are figuring out what to do with them, a group of black knights walks through the door behind us. The fighter asks the DM what the hell is going on, in response the lead knight tosses a silver coin at our feet... It was a bit touch and go but we survived the fight. Needless to say I was told not to touch anything else...
One of the best BBEG boss fights I've ever had. My party of 2 fighters, a cleric, and a ranger was sent out to investigate the harbor district for strange lights and noises. DM: Alright as you approach, you see an old, down right ancient warehouse ... Fighter 2: (Jokingly) Is it like a werewolf, but instead of a wolf, it turns into a house? DM: (with the most sadistic smile as he throws away his binder and pulls out his note book and starts righting) ... it is now. The party: (starts yelling at fighter 2 and freaking out/preparing for the boss fight we are absolutely NOT READY FOR!!!!!)
That story about tossing the cleric into danger reminded me of my groups standard practice when encountering werewolves in Vampire the Masquerade. Shove someone towards them and run the other way.
Okay, so my first session as a DM may count. We started with the infamous bar fight of Waterdeep: Dragon Heist, and one of my two rogues, instead of attacking the bandits, decided to go after BONNIE. In front of DURNAN. In the clear line of sight of her BARD boyfriend Threestrings. For context as to why this was a bad idea thriceover, Bonnie’s secretly a doppelganger, Durnan’s a Masked Lord and skilled fighter, and Threestrings is a Harper. The rogue was Level 1. Even if Bonnie didn’t drop the helpless barmaid act, all three of them could have ruined this rogue by themselves. He had to be talked out of this by both me via Durnan and the rest of the players. To this day, none of the three NPCs like this rogue, who has yet to properly apologize, and only tolerate him because of business.
It was in a Pathfinder campaign. The party was tasked with preventing the BBEG's incursion into our realm. At this point we had made it to a Fantasy RP Russian fortress, and following the slaughter of the campaign equivalent of Maes Hughes and his family, we tracked the infiltrators down to the lower levels. Fight ensues, remaining baddies retreat through a warp crystal, which is soon shattered. One party member decided to dance on a chunk of the crystal. Following an 'are you sure' from the DM and one quick dice roll, and he proceeds to lose the leg which was presently in contact with the crystal chunk. It got better though.
Oh boy do I have a doozy. Our druid had a very naive personality. He never understood the gravity of anything, and he was open to everyone. Somehow, this kept working out for him... until it didn't. One time when it worked out for him? When my character was first introduced he was a cleric working security detail for a royal wedding. He had ill portents, something was going to happen, but he didn't know what. He eventually caught up with the druid who just, right away, said "Oh yeah! We're gonna kidnap the princess." Smile. After meeting up with the rest of the party, it turns out they had a good reason to. See, there was a conspiracy against the royal wedding. Thousands of commoners over the course of months were infected with an agent which would turn them into mindless zombies once the effect was triggered and attack the procession after the wedding. They suspected there was a lich behind everything, but they didn't have details except that they traced this agent back to a kingdom in the north, the same kingdom of the prince who was getting married. Kidnapping the princess was the only way they could figure they could stop the wedding from happening. When it didn't work out for him? Well. We grew suspicious the queen of the northern kingdom was the lich. He... manages to get an audience with her and just straight up asks. "Are you a lich?" "What did you say?" "Are you a lich?" he asks again. It should be noted at this point that our party is level 9. A lich is a CR 21 enemy. What he possibly could have expected to happen I cannot fathom. She stands up, gestures for her guards to grab him and throw him from her caravan and proceed to pummel the shit out of him. But then he tries to cast Polymorph on her. Oh, boy, that pissed her off. The spell fizzles. It just fizzles, no check at all. And she says, "Die." She cast Power Word Kill on him. It turned out, yes, indeed, she was the lich.
Call of Cthulhu: My fellow investigator and I were in a greenhouse. We saw an alien looking plant that was orange and blue striped. Fellow investigator: "I lick the plant."
First campaign I was in I was playing a dwarf fighter. We had recentlly fought some sort of spell caster and he used lightning on us. We later came to a place kind of like Stonehenge with lightning going between the stones. After MULTIPLE warnings from my DM, I touched it and took 273 lightning damage as a level 3 fighter. That same campaign we used an injured party member as a battering ram.
My DnD group and I are doing a steampunk campaign based in a forest that has vibes like the movie "a quiet place." We are all at a scrap heap collecting things that can help us improve our gear alongside 2 NPCs. One of our players got attacked by an eldritch horror that was hiding in the caves just near this scrap heap and we all rushed to help him, including the NPCs, as we are fighting this thing, one of the NPCs gets a direct line of sight with the Eldritch Horror, and pulls out a revolver... 2 shots later this thing has gone and retreated from the fight and is blocking the entrance to its cave with Acid, I turn around to see something standing 10 feet tall in the shadows staring at us, I tell everyone to run and we are sprinting away, the NPC that didn't pull the stupid got shot with an arrow to the Calf, and everyone else got away somewhat safely, I stayed back and helped her back to the encampment, my character refused to let anyone die. On our way back, my DM told me to make a couple rolls, not telling me why at first, first roll was a d2, (all of this was using an online generator) second was d10, and then he had me roll a d20, the end result was I stumbled across the NPC the was stupid and shot the revolver trapped with his leg in a bear trap with the trigger being just out of reach, I was able to save him too and bring him back. My DM told me that if I had screwed up even one of those rolls I would have missed seeing that guy and he would have been left for dead
That bear thing is how a famous nature person, who had a Werner Herzog movie made after him, died. His death was recorded on audio. Werner Herzog refused to use that audio because it is BAD.
A campaign that lived in legend in my group that I was unfortunately not present for: In a Star Wars based campaign, rather than fighting the BBEG Sith, one of the players pulled the pins on about 50 thermal detonators and bum rushed them... The DM was not pleased. Of course the next campaign ended with my stranding a different Sith on a desert planet without any resources and leaving them to die of thirst/starvation.
We were running a homebrew Pathfinder 1e campaign. The party is raiding an in-transit overseas train in a last ditch effort to take out a major villain of the story and either retrieve or destroy an ancient relic being delivered to the BBEG. The Paladin (me), sorceress and the cleric are fighting the target and most of his henchman on the train head on as a distraction. Meanwhile, the rest of the party (Rogue, ranger and fighter) are sneaking across the top of the train to retrieve the relic while the rest of the train is busy with us. Well, when they get to the car holding the target item, the group formulates a quick plan for ambushing the guards. They're just about ready to engage when the rogue suddenly chimes in. Rogue: "I want to swing down the side, break in through one of the windows and swipe the relic while you two have the guards distracted!" The other two tentatively agree but the DM warns of the potential danger of failing the maneuver. Rogue says he understands but wants to try and liven the encounter up with something flashy. Ranger and Fighter enter with no issue, surprising the guards and turning their attention away from the relic and the window. Rogue goes for his snatch and grab. Nat 1 on the strength check to break the window. The DM describes that as Rogue swings down and tries to break through the window, he makes the unfortunate discovery that it's heavily reinforced glass that was meant to withstand much bigger impacts than a half-elf. He unceremoniously slams into the window with a loud thud, twisting his ankle from the impact, and the DM gives him another chance to save himself with an athletics check. Nat 1 again. The rest of the party is howling as the DM describes how Rogue, unable to retain his grip on the train after impact, cartoonishly slips and peels off of the train and falls into the sea below. DM later explained that Rogue survived his fall and was saved from the water by a passing fisherman. We found him when the train stopped in the next city over, recovering in a hospital bed and contemplating his life decisions. The poor guy never lost his penchant for flashy moves but spent the rest of the campaign making perception checks on the windows of everything we entered.
This one is of my previous character from my family’s current ongoing campaign where my previous character was a earth genasi fighter named Vito (meaning Jem in another language which I can’t remember) Stonefist who was lawful good very low wisdom not very intelligent but quite strong and he used improvised flyers which were just bags of rocks attached to chains and basically the way he died was we were going through a griply Swamp which was basically being over run by yu-anti (not sure if I’m spelling it correctly) pure bloods and being the Lawful good idiot that he was when he saw a group of yu-anti pure bloods harassing and attacking A defenceless griply he basically just charge write it and one of the yu-anti had cast suggestion and said “why don’t you go swim until you get tired and having wisdom for you obviously failed and then it was my grandmother’s turn (I’m 14 years old) and her character who was and still is a gnome artificer had gone “frick it I cast shatter” and my character who was already low on health dropped to 0 I had points and then I failed the death saving throws and yeah
Homebrew campaign based on A Song of Ice and Fire. I made a Warg character. I was able to invade the mind of a willing creature with a successful wisdom check, and invade the mind of an unwilling creature on a failed Wisdom saving through. The inn is on fire, and the Mountain that rides is surrounding us. I warg into the Moutain's mind (he rolled nat 1). I then had him run into the burning in. I then, after making sure he was set on fire, got out of his mind. Good times.
One of my players was playing a dragon born fighter. Well traversing an inverted pyramid he spots a tripwire. The player decided to cut it, rolled a crit fail resulting in him slipping and cutting his femaral artery, rolling down the staircase and practically breaking his neck while being peppered with tranquilizer darts to the point of a lethal overdose. He was brought back from the brink of death by the rest of the party but nearly didn't make it.
I attempted... to play a warforged artificer in a pirates and pals style dnd game. I was replacing a dropped player. I asked a few questions and through together my character. I wanted to play an easy to rp off option for a group of pirates. The idea was simple... I was playing a cannon. The toon got away with some pretty crazy things during the game. Blast trained an ships crew to use firearms, bag nuked a mini boss (GM approval), and he was given a boss weapon blunderbuss that he modded with his infusions. He once walked into a lake because it was the only way to have cover and he did not need to breathe. :) The party had to find who or what was disappearing people. Kidnappers. Fun stuff. Blast declares to the party. "Will this be a stealth operation?" Yes Blast was an armorer, as such could switch between a stealthy boy or a tank. And the shotgun was well statted. I remember feeling like i had to remind the gm the repeating infusion. No i know, you are good. It was cool. It was cool until we had snuck into the Master of Crafts and Trade manor. She was the one hiring the kidnappers. The party managed to pass a ton of stealth rolls, we get to the basement and this is where the fighting starts. A 5 pretty powerful looking undead. "Is this a stealth operation." No the bard says. Blast pulls out his automatic shotgun to lay waste to one of the monsters. Dm You are using the shotgun? Pump action motion sites invisible enemy. BOOOM BOOOM! Fists fulls of d6s smirk on face and a smirk on my face. The fight was hard and our team was pressured further into the manors basement. We were in no danger od dying from what was left of those undead. A giant fleshy blob and a necromancer were at our backs. XD
I was a dual class Druid Rouge. I decided to rob an unconscious drunk in a tavern, was spotted and accosted by the bouncer. After a couple of attempts at diplomacy and distraction I said I figured I could turn into a giant spider and fight. Only I forgot to specify giant and just turned into a spider, the ensuing fight lasted one stomp.
My story : I am the first GM in my friend group, and have initiated many people to dnd among whom is my sister, who also became a GM. So when, one day, I had a slight headache but should have dmed that day, I asked her to take my place while I played a support character I use to heal the party frequently. This character is the cleric dwarf from the starting set. Now I should add that both me and my sister recently had a laugh out of the theory that says that, since dwarves have poison resistance, they should have a very spicy cuisine compared to humans' tastes (since most spices are poisonous for most animals since they have lower poison tolerance). Now for the story : We had to go to a dungeon to, iirc, pillage it to grow our own domestic dungeon (we want to make a mimic farm to transform them into disco balls using light runes...). But as we enter said dungeon, we discover that the floor is COVERED with weird purple mushrooms. What would be the most appropriate behaviour in this case ? Well, whatever it is, my dwarf was hungry and therefore decided that the mushrooms looked tasty. And ate them... He got a serious indigestion and hallucinations out of it... To add insult to injury, he decided to serve as cover for his team when the boss attacked them at the exit of a corridor. Oh, did I mention that, in his drugged stupor, he had taunted the boss into charging at them? Well, in the end, he didn't die (more by chance than by skill), and my sister is exasperated at me.
This Campaign had 2 back to back Darwin awards, fallowed by a D&D horror story, of a that guy... But I intend to focus on only the topical Darwin award. This was a players 3rd character? and he was rather new to Role playing games as a whole, trying to find that separation of self and character. And interesting ride it was. This is a homebrew campaign of D&D 5E, he was playing a Fighter I think just standard, but as a Samurai... and in odd circumstance I myself was playing as a Paladin of Conquest Samurai. From here forward I will refer to his Character and himself as Samurai Jack. The campaign from the outset, was a group of unlikely adventurers being payed to take down a dragon, that had made a recent hime for itself close to the town we started. I believe some dragon cultists were also involved, which may explain the later magic item in the story. The party composition was slightly at odds from the start of our journey. And I can say my character, is part to blame. As I was playing an Lawful Evil Character, and Dampire (it was part of the setting, and I ran with it) issue was is my carscter was suposed to be beholden to the DMs DMPC. (Which had become a staple, of all his campaigns as a trope for better or worse). This DMPC was removed from the story early on to both I and another players amusement, in a shocking twist as the DM tried to improve himself (sad to say this was short lived) So In the end this left a Evil Samari Paladin of Conquest, with no longer a power over him that he was beholding to, causing him to take maters and decisions into his own hands. My character was no harm to the party, but Practiced in Slavery and treating his concord opponents as blood bags. To him the Conquered were an age old currency of the Vampire. Why is this important, normally Id disclude my caracter. But I feel again that we were both samurais and Samurai Jack, was as a player and a character a goody two shoes, who little separated from the fiction. In all, I feel like he tried to have his character stand out more, perhaps in his decisions to fallow. We later found ourselves in a temple of sorts, within the mountain. Fighting dragon cultists, I think it was about when we had gone into the mountain when Samurai Jack had layed out the idea he’d come to, I believe out of character after session. “I want toeat the dragons heart after slaying the dragon” myself and the DM, gave a hesitant response, thinking on a draconic hearts potent alchemical properties, to a human fighter. And noted, that it wasn’t a safe idea. I believe even the 3rd player had chimed in as well. As we explained that in D&D dragons were godly entities and consuming the heart of one could be deadly. All the same, he noted it as his character’s goal. A 4th player had entered our party late into the campaighn, who was a spell casting class, and well Samurai jack was, still set on consuming the dragons heart upon our quests zenith. At least now in character, we had some one with knowledge of the arcane to diswade him, In case it was in character. Were he and the DM, explained consuming a dragons heart was deadly. He out of and in character, was still not dissuaded. After defeating the cultists, our party came across a magical ring, I believe it appeared draconic in nature by description. It was in the end picked up by Samurai Jack, Im not sure if the DM, had added it to the loot, in order for the warrior to feel distinguished, but I myself as a player was on the same base. Hoping some magic items, could make the warrior feel unique and special, and perhaps feel more gravity towards his character. The ring was not only magical in properties and a weapon... but sentient. Wearing the ring the wariors arm became draconic and scaled, and he could summon If I recal a magical sword. Overall a large character change, that one would think may change his outlook. I cant recal when the “Arm” got Involved in the conversation, but at some point, the party or Jack brought up his interest in consuming the Dragons heart. Which now the DM as the ring tried to dissuade him from again. Which is funny as this magic item was a part of him now. We made it to the dragons den, and we fought the dragon. And in the end won, our party battered. We began to carve up the dragon, as well draconic leather and ingredients are worth while, I believe the rogue led the operation. This is when Jack spoke up. “I wana try for the heart” we all paused, for a moment, as well the time had finally come. We had tried to dissuade it at every point. This was 4 sessions of this idea on Jacks mind, for his character and he seemed set. New special loot be damned. So Jack rolled, and succeeded in cutting out the heart. Hurtle crossed, to the groups dismay. So of corse jacks next corse was inevitable. I believe in character, the characters whom cared tried to dissuade Samurai jack in character one last time. Including the sentiant ring that had now formed as the samurais arm, and the voice of reason of the DM. There were alot of “are you shures” up to this point, in the last 4 sessions. “I wana take a bite out of the dragons heart” says Jack. DM, “well I came repaired, and made a chart. When you take a bite. Go ahead and roll me 2 d10 for percentile.” On the resault the DM discribed, the fate of not only Samuria Jack but a sentient Item part of him’s fate. A he and his was turn to stone before the party. This Darwin reward goes out not only to Samurai jack, but to the Sentient Item he took with him, that too warned him of his folly, and paid the price. The draconic arm and all his items also turned to solid stone. And so ends his tale. Were immediately fallowed my own characters darwin award of taking the chance were the one good characters left the stage to kill off or the “Good” DMPC as the party was left now neutral evil in lean. An immediate fight to the death, taking place just after Samurai Jack had turned to stone. Hope this was a odd tale from the table, and Im sure there are plenty like it. But truely the fact he not only killed himself, with his goal, but another sentient creature tied to him... really makes this tale stick with me. Ive never seen a sentient magic object in a canpain other then this once... and its life was very short XD.
Had two players once who charged straight into a hallway because someone shouted for help. The hallway was an airlock and the shout was a recording. They should have stopped and smelled the roses. Same campaign, earlier. A player stuck themselves through the sunroof of a car, after it was getting shot at and a live grenade was thrown into it, while the rest of the players evacuated the premises. It was a death game of sorts to weed out who stayed as there were nine players. Everyone would get killed, no survivors and the first three who die were out permanently. Those deaths were respectively number 1, 2, and 3.
So in 3.5 the rule for attack of opportunity was worded "when a creature exits a square contested by an enemy" meaning if you want to walk around someone and you want to move out of 1 threatened square into a different threatened square an aoo can be made. I made a monk who was knocked back by an ogre and took a solid chunk of damage. Then I got up and ran straight at the ogre, who has 10ft range for melee, and did half my hp in 1 hit last turn, and did the rest of my hp as an aoo before I got close enough to hit him, it was also a crit so massive damage was applied and I became a red stain on the cave floor.
I had a tiefling warlock, Ralvius Fame, in a naval campaign I ran. He had a spat with his Fiend patron, wagered he could do better without his patron, and patron was like "Bet". So now Fame was in the market for a new patron. The party's blood hunter and resident occult expert set up a ritual to commune with, well, anyone who would take Fame under their wing. They got a Sea Fury (Fathomless), she made an offer, and Fame said no. By the time they got to port (Fame's third session without a patron) (Note: there were other patrons who reached out and he said no to all of them), Fame regretted turning down the fury. Wanting to contact her again, you'd think he'd repeat the ritual with the blood hunter, but that would have made sense. Instead, he had the blood hunter row him about an hour out of port, bind him in rope, tie a large rock to his ankles, and throw him overboard. Weird as this is, I can see the motive - visit her in her element. Besides, he can hold his breath for 1 + his CON mod minutes, or 3 minutes. Me: "Wait, you want him to what?" Warlock: "I ask [Blood Hunter, or BH] to knock me unconscious first." Me: "Are you sure?" Warlock: "Yes." Me: "[BH], do you knock Fame unconscious?" BH: "If that's what he wants, then yeah." Me: "Are you sure?" Cleric: "Guys, he keeps asking if you're sure. You probably shouldn't do this." Warlock: "It'll be fine." Me: "So we're doing this?" Warlock: "Yup." Me: (to myself) "We're doing this." So the blood hunter knocks Fame unconscious and throws him overboard. You know how you can hold your breath for 1 + your CON mod minutes? Well that's reduced to a number of **rounds** equal to your CON mod when you're unconscious. After that, you go into death saving throws. And even if you get 3 successes, or even a Natural 20, you keep making death saving throws until you're either pulled from the water of you rack up 3 fails and die. So the clock's ticking. (Note: death saves are rolled behind the DM screen at our table) At this point, I'm measuring out time like it's Inception, giving about a minute of RP per round. Getting through reintroductions took 1 round. I let him know 6 seconds had passed. The sea fury made her original offer, my warlock said no. 2 rounds, 12 seconds, let the saves begin. His counter offer was practically him asking for the sun and both moons, so she declined, but she did up the ant. 3 rounds, 18 seconds, 1 success. I tell the blood hunter that he can feel his friend thrashing at the other end of the rope. I ask him if he begins reeling the warlock in. Warlock player says not to worry about it, so the blood hunter doesn't. The warlock proceeds to make only slightly less ludicrous counter offers and the sea fury makes only slightly juicier offers in return. 4 rounds, 24 seconds, 2 successes. 5 rounds, 30 seconds, 3 successes. So far so good. 6, 36, and our first failure. 7, 42, 4 and 1. 8, 48, 5 and 1. 9, 54, 5 and 2. I'm stressed at this point, so I finally have the sea fury acquiesce to the warlocks almost reasonable desires. Cool, so let's reel this fish in. I ask the warlock how far he asked the blood hunter to let him drop. 10 feet? 20 feet? Nope, 60 feet. The warlock offered up 60 feet. "Are you sure?" I ask. "Yup," he says. "Would you have let him sink that far, BH? You could have dropped him less if you want," I say. "I let him sink the whole 60 feet," the blood hunter says. Fuck. I tell the blood hunter that with a measly 15 on Athletics, he can have the warlock above water in 2 rounds. He rolled a 4. 10 rounds, 60 seconds, 45 feet to go, 6 successes and 2 failures. I let the blood hunter roll again for . . . a 5. 11 rounds, 66 seconds, 30 feet to go, 7 successes and 2 failures. "Roll again, BH. Roll a 15 and he's in." He rolled a 6. 12 rounds, 72 seconds, 15 feet to go, 7 successes, 3 failures, and 1 dead warlock.
One of my friends made a wizard called Nazeem who had an unfortunate magical accident in his backstory which caused his soul to be trapped in a ceramic garden gnome. As an animate garden gnome he had 1 hit point. We had just wom our first (unnecessary) fight, during which Nazeem had decided to get up on a bar counter, because he was too short to fire spells over it. Drunk on success, Nazeem decided to jump down from the counter. Our DM decided that was enough of a fall that a garden gnome might take damage, and Nazeem ended up shattering into pieces when he failed to stick the landing.
Some magic bands had been put around a magical artifact that cut me off from the power the artifact had. I found a deserted ship that had a canon, canonball, and a barrel of gun powder. Dropping a cannonball on it didn't work so I loaded the artifact (which is indestructible and I had used it as a weapon several times by this point) and a bunch of powder into the canon and light the bad boy up. Canon explodes, debris is falling everywhere, my ears are ringing and I pass out from the pain of multiple cracked ribs from the impact. Luckily I survived and the bands came off when the person who put them on died.
Long story short. Many, many poor choices were made n my (at the time lvl 7 players) ended up in front of the court of the old Gods of the universe, brought up on charges for actions that threatened to destroy the very fabric of space time. The human fighter then proceeds to literally challenged the head Deity to single combat when questioned about his actions. 2 rolls later and that character was very much past tense. Tldr: rath of the old Gods go BRRRRRRRR
We wiped during hoard of the dragon queen while infiltrating a cultist camp, all down but still rolling for death saves in case someone crits. I rolled a crit, got back up with 1 hp and thought "when I'm the only one alive I might as well loot that ominous chest that is standing in front of a huge dragon fresco". Turns out the chest was trapped with poisonous gas and I not only went back down, I instantly killed the rest of the unconscious party 😂 Additional info: I played a level 3 eldritch knight, there wasn't anything I could've done to save my allies anyways. they were mad nonetheless
5:26 "What is up, you sexy RU-vid mother-lovers. We're back with another episode of The Darwin Awards. Guns are awesome. Idiots are not. When you put the two together..."
Not me or DnD. We were playing Anima and in our group we had someone who we'll call R. R is one of the players that plays only one type of character: obnoxious lone-wolfs. This particular game he was playing a Danjani Rogue that was literally with the party for 'reasons' which were he was to infiltrate and spy on the group, the players found out it was just busy work to get him to leave the town. Well one of the first things he did was go off on his own. He literally ended up getting drowned in spiders when he woke a huge collection of them. Unfortunately our healer had a bleeding heart and revived him. You would think he'd learn his lesson but nope. Next dungeon he went off on his own and ended up getting crushed to death by these goblin-like enemies that used boulder trap. She revived him again. This one time we came to this walled town at night. We had to wait til morning to get into town. He sees that the walls aren't being manned and thinks real hard about whether or not he was going to climb the wall. His 2 brain cells rubbed enough together that he didn't climb the walls, which was good because they were electrified near the top and he would have died again. When we got into that walled town we started to shop and do stuff. My character decided to stay in the hotel with a mage while R decided he wanted to try out the Danjani's special ability: Face meld. Basically if you place a piece of someone's face you can take on the appearance. R went out, killed a hooker, and stole her face. He then came back to the hotel. After we refused to let him in the room because this wasn't someone we knew he had the bright idea to break into the room while we were still there. We proceeded to try to get him out of the room. After he almost stabbed the mage the fun was about to begin. The mage basically made his flesh into water and I started to electrocute him. He barely escaped and ended up hiding in a mop bucket until the spell ended. The player was pissed that we reacted they way we did even though we didn't know what his character did. Fun Fact: if we had killed him while he had the stolen face the healer said she would have revived him just to kill him herself because he killed an innocent person. So long story short: had a friend die twice and almost killed by stupidity.
I have one, Gorash was a half-orc barbarian, polite yet incredibly strong with a 20 in strength, and eager for fights. Our resident druid Ratgnaw was an incredibly naive kobold obsessed with rats, who had a couple days earlier seen "flying rats" (crows). We were then confronted by what we thought was the enemy we were chasing on top of a roof. As it started to walk away I turned to Ratgnaw and said "can you turn into a flying rat?" he responded "I dunno, I can try?" after which Gorash asked "permission to throw you?" "okay!" poor naive little Ratgnaw responded... we were level four, he couldn't turn into flying beasts yet... I threw a kobold over 50 feet up into the air and he was only saved from 5d6 damage by a timely slow fall spell our wizard cast.
I am playing a half-orc monk who is extremely dumb (mainly because im new to the game) who has no real sense of intelligence. Some examples of near darwin award experiences that i love are: In the second session when we were going to a destroyed town, I decided to ride my horse at full speed, failing the perception check and having the entire party have to fight the BBEG without help (level 3 against some crazy ass mf dragonborn with a stupidly high AC) making the entire party have to run away on the brink of death. Rushing into a town filled with a stupid amount of gnolls and one fire elemental (which is resistant to every attack my orc has) only to be saved by the party's archer shooting the orb which held the elemental blowing everything up. and finally, my favourite: When we spent half an hour irl time deciding on a plan to scout the BBEG's base with over 15 soldiers protecting it (i was level 3), and we finally got a plan, had pass without trace cast on us all, and prepared for a scary ass infiltration mission. Only for my orc to run straight into the entrance and yell 'I AM HORITIR; THE STRONGEST, COOLEST, HOTTEST, BEST ORC EVER FIGHT ME IF YOU DARE'. He looked around. Saw the 15 soldiers all staring at him. Only for him to turn around and run away. The best part about the chase sequence was when I would continually break into random people houses looking for a place to stay. Some of the houses included: an orphanage that i didnt know about so i traumatised 2 children (giant 6'7 orc with a lot of blood dripping towering over 2 little girls playing with dolls), jumping into a window to be met by an elderly woman getting changed (i ended up getting kicked in the crown jewels and falling off of a balcony) and finally running to a friendly npc who threw my ass into the basement while she was interrogated. Its a miracle how this guy is still alive and i love it more and more every session.
6:30 Was this a bar called Georgia? Did the Devil go down to Georgia? … … … The devil went down to Georgia. He was lookin' for a soul to steal. He was in a bind 'cause he was way behind, and he was willin' to make a deal, when he came across this young man sawin' on a fiddle and playin' it hot. And the devil jumped up on a hickory stump and said, "Boy, let me tell you what. I guess you didn't know it but I'm a fiddle player, too. And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you. Now, you play pretty good fiddle, boy, but give the devil his due. I'll bet a fiddle of gold against your soul, 'cause I think I'm better than you." The boy said, "My name's Johnny, and it might be a sin. But I'll take your bet, you're gonna regret, 'cause I'm the best that's ever been." Johnny, rosin up your bow and play your fiddle hard, 'cause hell's broke loose in Georgia and the devil deals the cards. And if you win you get this shiny fiddle made of gold. But if you lose, the devil gets your soul. The devil opened up his case and he said, "I'll start this show." And fire flew from his fingertips as he rosined up his bow. And he pulled the bow across the strings and it made an evil hiss. Then a band of demons joined in and it sounded somethin' like this: When the devil finished, Johnny said, "Well, you're pretty good, old son, but sit down in that chair right there and let me show you how it's done. Fire on the mountain. Run, boys, run. The devil's in the House of the Rising Sun. Chicken in the bread pan pickin' out dough. Granny, does your dog bite? No, child, no. The devil bowed his head because he knew that he'd been beat. And he laid that golden fiddle on the ground at Johnny's feet. Johnny said, "Devil, just come on back if you ever want to try again. 'Cause I told you once, you son of a gun, I'm the best that's ever been." He played, Fire on the mountain. Run, boys, run. The devil's in the House of the Rising Sun. Chicken in the bread pan pickin' out dough. Granny, does your dog bite? No, child, no.
I have a high level Aacockra Cleric who is in a friendly rivalry with our human gunslinger. And by friendly rivalry I mean usually trying to kill each other when we're not in combat because we're both criminally insane. Cut to us invading a civilization of intelligent ape people for an ancient artifact. We were in a small space craft plummeting to the planet after taking a lot of damage. I cast death ward on both of us and we proceed to kamikaze the surface. Caused a lot of damage because the suicide vest our gunslinger kept hidden on him went off with the crash.
Not quite a Darwin award (well arguably there were a few, you'll understand shortly) but it almost a TPK for a 5 person party of level 10-12 adventurers because my entire party was full of murder hobo, never surrender, don't know the definition of "retreat" types and the others who blindly followed them. This was a Skyrim themed long running campaign including my dad (DM), his friend Doug (a snobbish elf sorcerer), Doug's wife Illona (who played a gung-ho dwarf rogue, don't question a dwarf in Skyrim), my sister (our party's resident mostly responsible cleric), her at-the-time-fiance Sterling (a human ranger with some serious mental issues), and me (a young human Pyromancer, custom class, who's sole purpose in life was to basically let the world burn and take an active part in lighting the flame. It was more complex than that but it's a long story). The only character's name I remember was my own because I named him Charimand Blaizer. However the party almost immediately decided that they'd call him "Charmander". Anyway onto the thing: We were about level 10-12 and were sent to clear a crypt of the draugr that had risen and made the nearby trade route unsafe. The party being ever eager to rush in and kill some undead did just that. We found a cave that was an entrance to this ancient crypt and upon entering we were almost immediately faced with six Draugr Deathlords in very, very tight quarters. Something nasty about these homebrewed fellas is that they all knew Cone of Cold and were firing it off at us at 5th or 6th level every few rounds. In basically the first round we got blasted with six back to back Cones of Cold each one hitting most if not all of the party and damn near immediately dropping most of us to half or even quarter health. I suggested we just retreat as soon as we could and try to come at it again once we recovered since we would know these guys were waiting for us and we could plan around it. They almost unanimously told me to shove it and to keep fighting. Unfortunately these Draugr were also rather strong fighters and in 3-4 rounds the entire party but me and the Cleric were unconscious and bleeding out or flat out dead. At this point I said "fuck this" and casted invisibility on me and the Cleric (who had really tried her best to keep the party breathing but it just wasn't happening) and fucked right off out of there. By the time I returned, still invisible, to recover the rest of the party's bodies they were all dead. Fortunately we came from a town not far with a priest capable of resurrection so that would be resolved quickly. However, "Charmander" was fed up and quite frankly pissed off that he'd been blasted repeatedly with cold (an element his custom Pyromancer class is vulnerable to) so he marched himself back to the entrance and flung literally every single fireball he could at the highest level he could cast them down that cave entrance until the cave completely collapsed and the Draugr were dead. Whether they died from basically getting incinerated or crushed by the cave collapsing upon them beats me. Supposedly there were dozens of Draugr in the crypt but the most powerful so happened to guard the entrance. We were supposed to retreat and come back better prepared but Dad didn't account for "Charmander" to get so angry that he quite literally incinerated and crumbled that crypt like an old cookie. TL;DR: Party tried to brute force an encounter in a crypt we were supposed to retreat from and all got themselves killed, my eccentric pyromancer managed to escape from their stupidity and recovered their bodies. Afterwards he promptly blew up the entire crypt out of spite.
we were playing SKT and the DM rolled one random encounter of 5 or 6 ores,they didn't cared for us so we just ignored them except for a single player who said "i'm going to talk with the ogres" he died alone
Icespire peak, I have a few people who decide to just go for it if there is anything they want, I new this might be a problem so I decided to add to the lore of the king and have them constantly serving on them because he finds them as a threat, they already made him angry and one character was arrested, the player is in on it now but nobody else knows the character is going to die next session. Also adding traps to try and make them think, nothing works. Lol I think this is everyone's first campaign.
1) This was decades ago, 2nd Edition. We (level 1, new campaign) start in a tavern and hear screams and combat sounds, rushing outside we discover the town is under attack by a band of Orcs with an Ogre. Another player had a Wizard, he decided that the right thing to do was charge the Ogre with his dagger. Ogre proceeds to grab the Wizard and tear him in half. 2) Again, back in 2nd Edition when it was new days. My character was exploring a cave system and came across a huge drop-off with green liquid at the bottom, thinking it was stagnant water, jumped. It was a Green Slime of a size to fill a stadium.
my tortle paladin died from his own party, one of the party members got charmed and had to attack someone, they chose me and ended up critical hitting him and killing him. good times
Icewind Dale spoiler! This is your only warning! As for where in the campaign this is I don’t quite remember. I just joined this campaign. We had just arrived at an island with a castle, transported there via taking whale, and noticed a pair of boats tied up at the dock. One built by giants that was fairly intact, and another built by men that was rotting and falling apart. Our dwarf bear totem barbarian, let’s call him Gimli, absolutely loves to loot treasure and rushed towards the giant’s boat without warning. My dwarf divine soul sorcerer, Nori because I couldn’t think of a better name, rushed after him so he wouldn’t kill himself. The rest of the party lagged behind as they tried to communicate with some sort of ice goblin that could only communicate with charades. A single frost giant skeleton rose up from the giant’s boat, and Gimli charged at it. If it wasn’t for my haste spell to make Gimli attack more and several nat 20’s, the two dwarfs would’ve kicked the bucket. Thankfully we won and we did get some decent loot, and just as Gimli equipped the +2 trident he glanced over at the other boat. We could clearly see some sort of merfolk-like creature poking up from the water, glaring at us angrily. I told Gimli to wait for the rest of the party because I assumed that there would be more then just that one merfolk down there. Instead he nose dives into the water, and states that he DOESNT RAGE!! And what does he find down there? 5 merfolk all armed with harpoons with ropes tied to them so they could pull him further down! And what do I do? “Whose the more foolish? The fool, or the fool that follows him?” Yep, the spell caster who has no way to breathe or speak under water dives in after the barbarian to save him!! The good news is that I took the subtle spell meta magic which lets me cast magic without using verbal components so I could cast spells underwater without needing to open my mouth. I was able to keep him alive with healing magic just long enough for him to rage and resist the cold water and the piercing damage. TLDR; Darwin Award winner barely survives underwater battle thanks to anti-Darwin award winner.
My 16th level cleric decided that it would be particularly metal to get yeeted at the bbeg. So he climbs onto the back of an iron golem as the sentient floating island we were riding starts to spin up. He then proceeded to grab a wooden barrel of water, turn it to holy water, and brace himself as the island stopped sending him and the golem flying like a fastball pitch. He landed a crit to pimp slap the bbeg (18th level cleric of vecna) with the holy water. What I didnt consider was the red dragon he was riding. So cut to his turn, I take a nearly max damage cone of fire to the face, and begin falling to earth. As my cleric was dropping like a stone giving a mighty double finger salute to the bbeg the fucker shot my 6hp ass with a magic missile killing me.
In my group our paladin who is a man decides to carry a his great sword in public. In a country where all men are slaves and it is illegal for slaves to carry weapons. We all knew this but he was surprised when the guards came and arrested him.
Running a campaign for the first time and I told my players I’m sticking to the official lore to make it easier. One player wants to be a kobold. I told him several times kobold are a pest species and evil, people aren’t gonna like him. He said that’s fine. It was apparently not fine because he complained nobody liked him. He was also a rogue doing stereotypical rogue things so that didn’t help
i managed to get a group of friends together to play Baldur's Gate 1 and me (being the group Dumb Ass) decided to pick pocket a bear and managed to get the whole group killed. i'm a good sport so i join in the fun of keeping the story alive.
My character that died was a level 1 mage named glamdering he was attacked by a stirge it grappled to his back and a party member master shifu ( a monk) also level 1 decided to attack the stirge on his back the dm warned him that he could miss and hit glamdering but he insisted and he rolled a 3 or 4 to hit. and for damage it was the max for the bo stick I think it's 1d6 but my mage died then and there
Character didn't die. I have a starfinder character who was a Trox(large monstrous bug people with vestigial arms) named Bamph. He found an undetonated 500 lbs bomb and used it as a weapon as he can use weapons his own size with little difficulty. Long story short, the bomb detonated against a deathclaw-like being, catching our wizard in its detonation. Being at ground zero, Bamph took triple damage (normal damage was 8d8 fire damage ignoring hardness values of 20). Bamph went to negatives, lost his vestigial arms and the wizard list his leg. Bamph was in a coma for a month.
Adventure Gone Wrong So, my party and I were on a quest to find a legendary treasure that was supposed to be hidden deep within a dungeon. We were pretty confident in our abilities, and we were determined to find the treasure. But, let me tell you, things did not go as planned. As we entered the dungeon, we faced all sorts of traps and other dangers. We carefully made our way through, but things took a turn for the worse when we reached the end of the chamber. We found a door that was sealed shut and as soon as our wizard opened it, we entered the next room. The room was filled with treasure, gold, and magic items. Our rogue started searching through the treasure and found a small bag. Inside the bag, she found another bag. Now, I know what you're thinking: "Don't put a bag of holding inside another bag of holding." But unfortunately, our rogue didn't know that and decided to put the smaller bag inside the larger one. As soon as she did that, there was a loud explosion, and both bags burst open. The contents of both bags were thrown everywhere, and the room was filled with a blinding light. When the light cleared, we saw that the treasure we had been searching for was now gone, lost forever in the explosion. But the worst part was yet to come. The explosion had also damaged the surrounding area, causing the walls to crumble and traps to activate, injuring some of our party members. To make matters worse, the explosion had also created a portal to an unknown realm and we were sucked into it. To top it all off, the magical backlash from placing the bags inside each other also alerted a powerful entity who protected the treasure, and this entity hunted us down for disturbing its treasure. We had to fight our way out of the unknown realm, defeat the powerful entity, and escape the dungeon. We left the dungeon empty-handed, injured and disappointed. But we learned a valuable lesson about the dangers of experimenting with magical items. From now on, we'll be more careful and always ask for advice from the DM before doing anything risky. Moral of the story: Don't put a bag of holding inside another bag of holding. TLDR: My party and I were on a quest to find a legendary treasure, and things went wrong when we put a bag of holding inside another bag of holding, causing a massive explosion that injured some of the party members, opened a portal to an unknown realm, and attracted the attention of a powerful entity.
Spoiler for tomb of horror: Was running tomb of horrors. Had a PC get basically wiped out due to a harsh magical effect and had to be taken out of the tomb (in comes backup character!) the PC who was taken out was best friends with another slightly rambunctious PC. Backup character cannot stand the rambunctious PC and they make snarky comments at each other constantly. We get to the throne room with the crown and scepter. The crown is gold and the scepter has a gold ball on one end and a silver ball on the other. Once you put on the crown, you can’t take it off unless you touch the gold end of the scepter to it. If you touch the silver end to it, you instantly disintegrate Thanos style and only a wish can bring you back. The player tests out the crown and scepter and discovers the gold ball allows you to remove the crown. Before he can experiment more, a fight breaks out which distracts him and he forgets….at first. At the end of the fight he shows off the crown trick to the others and a different PC innocently asks “what happens if you touch the other end?” He hesitates saying he doesn’t know, and it looks like he doesn’t want to find out…..until backup character says something along the lines of calling him to scared to do it. Without any additional hesitation the rambunctious character touches the silver side to the crown and instantly disintegrates. The pandemonium erupted as everyone hysterically laughed as our PC died from being sassed at.
5:50 As a Mortal Kombat fan there's a character named Havik who is also a Cleric and like his name, he does everything for the purpose of pure chaos. But also he's damn near unkillable. So I just Imagine Havik watching this T-Rex come at him and out of sheer boredom just does a backflip strikes a pose and gets bitten in half by the waist ☠️
Wasn't mine but a DnD buddy of mine told me about this character, he made a very low intelligence Aarakokra that loved shiny things, opening session, he went into town, saw the town bell and messed with it until it fell off the bell tower, it fell and killed a little girl and he was arrested by the town guard, when they asked why he did it, all he said was "because shiny." He was executed for it. He told the DM it was meant to be a joke character so there were no hard feelings over a session 1 player death
My Darwin Award wasn't the fault of anything in-character. It was purely because *I* forgot I had a needed spell on my character's sheet. We were playing a oneshot that became a threeshot in our regular campaign setting, an evil aligned party causing political interference that would affect changes that our main heroic party would have to deal with by sabotaging peace talks between hostile nations. One PC was an "ends justify the means" kind of villain, a vampire cleric, and I was playing a shiftless, selfish but unambitious "screw you, got mine" aasimar bard. My bard proved himself a loose cannon, the kind that the cleric decided was better off on a leash, or else he'd hurt someone more important than him. So she placed him under a Geas to serve her, *with one of her later commands being that he not try to break the Geas or ask anyone to help him.* ... And I forgot that I had Greater Restoration prepared, as I had decided to challenge myself and make him a support caster rather than a damage dealer, since this was supposed to be a subtle mission. By the time I remembered that I COULD break him out of her control, the session was over. Fortunately I thought he deserved that fate as I really had been playing him as a petty, self-centered, hedonistic *dick* only in it for the money and with no concern about the strife caused by war, and these were characters only meant to be played briefly (the main party is going to fight the vampire at some point though, 'rescuing' my bard completely by accident,) and I thought the Geas was an appropriately villainous act of girlbossery *and* I trusted that player not to abuse stuff like Geas later in the game on our main party, otherwise... That could have been a very different horror story all together.
RIFTS instead of DnD. We had a guy who played with us for a couple years. You always knew when his character was dying. He drew his characters, they always died when he finished them. This was not intentional. The one character who bucked the trend was his cyber ninja. He had him run up and deliver a karate style kick to a hover tank while looking straight down the barrel of the cannon. He was asked several times if he really wanted to do that. He was surprised and offended when the pilot fired the cannon and blew his head off.
Doing ship comabt, our boat and pirate are passing each other, Dumb Paladin says he wants to jump to the pirates boat. DM looks at him like he's stupid, ask him if he's sure. Paladin says yes. DM explains that the ships are passing each other. Paladin believes this is the best time to jump. DM says he'll be outnumbered. Paladin says he has a 20 AC he can take them. We are level 5, he jumps, I'm not stopping the boat because that's not how boats work, Paladin is beaten to death by the 20 pirates that are on the enemy boat as he got one turn and they got 20. The Paladin was upset, the other players thanked him for slowing the pirates down so we can get away.
There was a wall in my and the parties way so I tried to blow it up it went chaotic and turned me into a sheep and took me to one hp then I found it could be climbed now the reason for this being here is someone saw the spell go chaotic and ran to try to help me and boom there mind was added to the 12 other voices already in that persons head turn out being a insane chaos mage can go poorly
We were playing shadowrun which is basically cyberpunk dnd and right in the middle of the helicopter battle one player had this bright idea. PC: Throw me at the helicopter! GM: Are you sure you want to do this? PC: Yes I'm sure! GM: Well you were thrown successfully......towards the spinning helicopter blades. I'm gonna need you to make a dex save to see if the blades miss you. (FYI he passed the save and just barely missed being blended but it was still a really dumb thing to do.)
I got a story from recent game Im playing in was playing a 5th level Death Cleric had killed some kobolds and raised them with animate dead to get 2 zombie minions eventually got rid of them but turns out they were a white dragon's minions who was like on the verge of reaching ancient dragon status and another PC had encountered the dragon while investigating a nearby hot spring of magic water and it could smell the stench of his dead minions on his character so he basically bargained with the dragon that he'd bring the culprit and that to spare everyone else all the meanwhile Im listening to this go down in Discord just screeching about my bad luck curse of every time I specifically play Death Clerics I die during session 3 without fail like doesn't happen with any other Cleric sub-class as my guy is basically lead to his death because my character was interest in that magic water and the PC who talked to the dragon was originally gonna show me their findings with the magic water so unless I meta-gamed basically had no reason to assume this PC was leading me astray.
My harengon warlock was obsessed with smithing and tinkering, in a obviously evil and corrupt party hosted by vampires one of them had exquisite long sword with runes on it, he having found his hyper fixation went and talked to the warrior, and I ask to see it "are you close to the arcane?" I was asked, I said yes, he gave me a warning and as soon as I touch it you hear a btzzz a muffle rabbit scream and a hit in the ground, I was miraculously left with 1hp, my close party member was about to fight until my very toasty rabbit said, "worth it" In other occasion he was hearing something in his head, the voice of an entitie the bbeg try to convince to be at his side but failed (both were too prideful) and my drunken rabbit crash the conversation empathizing with the entitie cuz his dad sounded like a dick, he follow his instructions and casually summon the equivalent of Satan on the house of a trusted ally, luckily I soften the situation with persuasion and a bunch of ass kissing.
I managed to die in the first session of a new campaign which i think deserves a darwin award. I was a goblin ancestral guardian barbarian named Philbert. In the final fight of the session we were fighting a young red dragon that had recently regained dragonhood after a ritual. My character was the last to the great hall the ritual took place in so i got there right before the battle started. I tried to slide across the entire table in the center of the room enter the gungeon style. If i succeded i would be around 30 feet from the dragon and then i could impose disadvantage and half damage on all the attacks it makes against anyone but me so getting across the table was crucial to the sucess of the fight. I failed the roll to slide across the table causing philbert to faceplant and i was now just out of range to attack the dragon. The dragon hits 4 of the party members with a fire breath knocking down 2 members and i was barely alive with 6 health. I got up to the dragon and successfully hit it one turn too late to save my party, then got hit and went down. I succeeded my first death saving throw, failed the second and then rolled a nat 1. Philbert died because he tripped on the table, and my party barely survived the encounter because i wasnt able to reduce the damage of the fire breaths... RIP philbert.
I DM a Lancer group. I have a few homebrew monsters my players were fighting. (It was not going well at all) Someone already got their throat ripped out and another was unconcious. The final standing character decided by some stroke of what i can only assume is insanity, that she wanted to Roll to seduce the Eldritch horror esqe monster....... Twice. Failed both times and was killed. So to add insult to injury when it killed her it lifted her up by the neck and right before snapping her neck it gave her the lightskin stare (think the smoulder from tangled)
Played a soccer reincarnated as a kobold. Who was colour blind. "Don't push blue button" I push the gray button. (There was only 2 buttons neither was Grey let's just say the other one was not lit up and so probably looked black)
powerful wizard can't remember name or level this was almost 20 years ago. My wizard had a portable hole folded up and attached to his staff of power, he also had a bag of holding. the party was getting the crap kicked out of them by something, my wizard drops the hole beside him and then stands with 1 foot over the hole. flips open his bag of holding and tells the thing to back off before it is destroyed. Granted the thing having the upper hand claimed I was lying. I hold the staff in both hands lift the knee thats over the portable hole on the ground and say I never bluff as I break the staff over my knee. Portable hole Staff of power and open bag of holding you go ahead and do the math.
7:03-7:28 Okay, what was that Wizard's Wisdom Stat? If it was any higher than 5, then I think the player doesn't understand how to run a character logically.
It was my second time playing dnd and we were in an encounter against a crawler thing. idk its HB. It grabbed my cleric and was choking him while it was on the ceiling. I got shot by my friend who missed the attack roll on the beast. Then it snapped my neck. I succeeded death saves. Now, what makes this better is that in a recent campaign, the dm brought back the enemy and had one of its attacks named after me. Does this count for a darwin award. Prollt not, but i wanted to share. There was also the time our entire party was launched and hit a wall. I died and failed death saves (i think it was my 5th session or something like that) so as a joke i tried to seduce death to try and not die for good and failed so my party had someone else kill themselves to give me help action and then i succeeded and rolled an 11 on performance. They almost died for good all so i could fuck death. The only reason they lived is because dm allowed them because we were in the part of the story about their backstory
Killed myself (Dwarf Cleric, Life) by punching a door. Hard. (nat 20 tho) then I moved on to a character that both my DM and I enjoy a lot (Wood Elf Druid, Land, Forest; read Bean Lord) then another player threw a tarot card at the door and made it explode some time later said character was a cult leader and took us to their island my druid grows a few crops while holding concentration on plant growth during a long rest her cultists now have food and we soon went back to the main story island this happened yesterday
Why is it that in all of these videos, half of the posts utterly failed to understand the assignment? Just doing something stupid doesn't count, the person has to actually die through their stupidity (and in a realm of fantasy; stay dead. The point is that they "remove themselves from the genepool.") for it to be a darwin award. First Story: semi-counts. (the original gene line is gone, and the returned spirit is less broken so less likely to do stupid shit) Second Story: counts. Third Story: is inconclusive unless we assume the trap killed him. Fourth Story: at least acknowledges that neither example counts. Fifth Story: counts, though the argument could have been made they wouldn't know what would happen, so it wasn't stupidity but curiosity. Sixth Story: counts. Seventh Story: first example semi-counts, second example doesn't. Eighth Story: doesn't count, didn't stay dead. Nineth Story: counts Tenth Story: doesn't count. Eleventh Story: inconclusive, like number 3. So, out of 13 examples; we got 4 who *actually* posted a proper darwin award story, 2 that only sorta count but have extinuating circumstances, 2 unknowables, and 5 that straight-up are not Darwin Award stories, and that is a consistent theme on this channel. I don't blame MrRipper, they can only work with what people submit, but damn am I tired of the clownshow we get from people submitting stories without knowing what they're supposed to be doing.
