Darwin Awards: TikTok Edition 

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As a member of a gaggle of little kids in the 60's; when my grandma told us to "go play in the freeway," after being annoying, we would only giggle and exit the house: And NOT play in the freeway!

As a German industrial worker, we got regular work safety instuructions. One of the repeated points, featured every time, is the "Don´t fuck around with the air lines, especially around you bottoms." lecture. It´s seemingly common enough to need such a section.

In America that horseplay rule would be "Death by Misadventure".

As an Aussie, it still surprises me when I hear people can't swim. It makes sense, of course, people live in landlocked countries or not near the sea, but it just seems so foreign to me. I'm sure hearing me say I've only seen snow once and start shivering at 21C (69.8F) and below sounds just as foreign to other peeps

People are smart enough to think there geniuses about guns because they removed the magazine. But they didn't clear the one in the chamber. I firmly believe some version of "Hey, y'all watch this!" has existed in every society since the beginning of time

My all time favorite is Miss "Selfie with Grizzly Bear" and her discovery that SOME grizzly bears have strong opinions about flash photography.

Wow. Not a single one from Florida. Didn't think it was possible.

The DARWIN AWARDS: their motto should be "HEY YOU OUT OF OF TH E GENE POOL

Having already meticulously scrubbed all videos of myself from the interwebs, I'm pretty sure I have whatever the opposite of the Must Be Viewed Addiction is.

The capacity for human idiocy knows no bounds. Simon keeps using this word "think." That's the issue, they're not thinking, at all.

My husband drives large trucks for a living and accidentally killing someone is his *biggest* fear. He is an extremely careful driver but you can't control other people's reckless actions. He is currently driving a concrete truck and a few months ago another driver was involved in an accident that lead to someone's death. The driver was driving normally, doing his job, and someone ran a stop sign and drove directly into the side of his moving truck. Concrete trucks are LARGE and the person in the other vehicle died instantly. My husband had driven through that same intersection less than 10 minutes before the accident.

My step grandmother - who was born in the 1940s in central Europe in a rural area - used to tell me storys about how she and her friends used to lay vertically on the train tracks and wait as long as they can for the train to come until they jumped away. To whomever the train came closest to won. Apparently some got of the tracks merely seconds before the train would kill them. They did this for shit's and giggles and as a test of courage when they were in elementary school untill the closest adults chased them away. Somehow no one died

1:50 - Mid roll ads 3:20 - Back to the video 4:30 - Chapter 1 - Rylo huncho 6:55 - Chapter 2 - Sheikh ali 10:15 - Chapter 3 - Indian man known as "vikas" 12:25 - Chapter 4 - Unnamed indian factory worker 15:15 - Chapter 5 - Indonesian teenager

Bonus points to the editor for using a jordan hewlett snip. 😂 And people have always been stupid. We just have ways to document the stupid now

For the first guy, he might have used blanks believing them to be harmless. They are far from at point blank range like if you shooting yourself. Or he might be an true Darwin award winner playing with an loaded gun.

Sheikh Ali's story could have been mine. I once jumped into deep water on a dare despite being unable to swim. Fortunately I was pulled out. Of course, I was nine years old at the time.

Oh my god the " I can see the future" dbza reference caught me so off guard I nearly dropped my drink laughing lol

Young people are smarter than they’ve ever been. That does mean they’re also better at being dumb than they’ve ever been, too.

Heard this quote awhiles ago, and liked it for its truthfulness - "It's not that there are too many idiots in the world, but that lightning is unfairly distributed."

I actually knew a driver that had somebody commit suicide by his truck. He said they watched him coming up from the curb and waited till the last second before stepping out. Theres also a short documentary i saw years ago, interviewing train engineers about how often it happens to them.

When watching these Darwin Awards videos reminds you why warning labels exists on products because all them lack common sense

'Times change, People don't.' People have Always been Stupid - but now we have the interwebs...

Painting a toy to look like an actual firearm is a federal felony in the USA

"I can see the future!" I don't know if it's DBZA or the placement, or what, but I hit my head of my desk laughing. Worth it.

Regarding the last story, a random drunkard decided it would be smart to run across the highway wearing all black one night … right in front of my uncle when he was only 20. My uncle’s personality apparently completely changed.

I'm glad you mentioned getting out of a rip current. It's so scary seeing the land that far but you HAVE to stay calm....float on your back and control your breathing and swim out of the current slowly. It's hard to know if you're near the end of one or in the middle, but if you keep going just about parallel to land you will get out of it. The panic is what does a lot of people in. Learn to spot rip tides and if you see more than one just find a better spot to swim. Although you can take them deliberately as a quick transit away from all the people/past the breakers lol

I just want to say the editing in this episode was delightful 'I can see the future!' was so well timed I spilled my tea XD

You know the “dead or alive, who would you like to have beers with?” Question? My answer is FIRMLY Dave and Simon.

One reason that dashcams became common, the "victim" would jump out in front of a moving vehicle and then sue the driver for dangerous driving. When the video shows that the driver was sensible and the "victim" was a scam artist, it tends to backfire, though the driver will now have years and years of problems.

As someone with an advanced degree in history. Whenever I read something, I sometimes just ponder and wonder how humanity has survived.

Re: Safety Videos. When I took drivers ed in HS (in the '70s) they showed us "Faces of Death".

New brain blaze episode? Let’s fuckin’ goooo

That industrial air line one 😱 I literally had to pause it for a second, I could help but imagine it and how the hell did he even live for 15 days after that! The human body can take a lot but that's insane. I can't wait for that scam video tho! I'll be waiting to see how long it takes to release 😂

"There’s one born every minute." That's not the real problem. The real problem is that only 2 die a fu##ing fortnight.

Are you trying to depress us today. This, the Crusades and the origin of the chainsaw? You're now Morbid Boi

Half? Your optimism is legend.

Painting a toy to look like a firearm is a felony. But painting a firearm to look like a toy is next level.😮😂

That last story reminds me of a man I met years ago. He was a railway engineer and a woman in a van pulled in front of the train with her kids inside. He was never the same after that.

I'm addicted to the NSFW/NSFL Darwin Awards subreddit. Especially all the train videos.

This video is incredibly graphic without even showing a single frame of actual footage... what the hell was that horseplay cutout?! I died laughing.

Fkn cried laughing at the "you're exploiting Jeffrey but also AHH"

Fuck yes, my Saturday NEEDED this 🎉

600 volts of electricity would have approximately 100 amps and one amp would kill a human !

Something like the last story happened to my dad back in the 80's. He was a truck driver, and one day a car swerved out in front of him and crashed into his truck so badly that it nearly tore the car in half, and wrote the truck off. Turns out the guy was drunk and was trying to end things, and my dad just happened to be the unwilling participant. My mom said that she saw the truck after the crash, and that my dad was lucky to have survived as it was a cab-over. It definitely took a toll on him though

“He got too close to the 25k volt DC power line, and approximately 25k of those volts were transferred directly to him.” Lmfao I love your writers.

It’s so cute that Simon is borrowing a sippy cup from the kids.

13:55 So... fun fact: balloon animals used to be made out of inflated cat intestines.... Usually they are removed first before inflation.

Some odd part of me can't help but picture Simon's wife being startled by his hilarious outbursts and accidentally flinging the contents of a charcuterie board all over while his kids laugh.

Like grandma used to say: "Some people don't have the sense that God gave McGinty's goat."

Simon, I grew up thru the 90's going cliff jumping multi times every summer. Such a great time.

He was playing with the gun & lost his grip for a second & when he tried to regain it, he pressed the trigger enough to fire it.

There is a video online of a guy 'pranking' an employee with an air compressor in a similar manner, unaliving him.

Yosemite National Park, with it's thousands of freakishly tall cliffs, holds all the records for idiots dying whilst selfying.......but they all die doing what they loved: screaming "ahhhhhhhh" before impacting into huge piles of granite scree boulders at near terminal velocity..

People are definitely getting more stupid. Also we have more chances for narcissists (I *think* I spelled that right) to "become famous" so people do more stupid stuff. Also, it's MY lawn. I'm older than you! *waves cane*

14:00 Should have used a clip from the old video game "Dig-Dug"

I actually just saw a video recently of two fellas working in a factory in India. It starts with the older foreman using the air hose to tussle dudes hair and spray his face and what not. The younger guy turns around for a sec and the foreman blows air into a hole in the pants of the younger gentleman. The younger fella collapses almost immediately, turns out that the older guy had blown out a bunch of things somehow. They said when they tried to help in the hospital they were hampered by the fact that fecal matter was blown all over his organ. He did indeed die, but I never caught the place, just the video.

As Alec Baldwin so aptly demonstrated, a "prop" gun or a "replica" gun is a real gun, and should always be treated as such.

British PSAs have nothing on Canadian ones. The “Canadian House Hippo” PSA is probably the easiest way to cause emotional damage to a little Kid. While the *WarAmps* PSA’s were another level up, and also used catastrophic injuries suffered by 2-8yr old kids as their teaching tool. My friend who literally lived in a US-Canadian Border town would always send us copies of their PSAs. Plus some of the British ones they also used (the car flipping into a groups of Grade 3 kids was horrifying)

Yea!!! New brainblaze! LOVE YOU DAVE❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

I'd like to point out that the air compressor story has been around since the late '90s & was even included in the "The Darwins Awards" book by Wendy Northcut which was published in 2000

Omg that last one! Almost the same thing happened to my mom before i was born. A guy on a motorcycle ran a red light, and she hit and killed him. It was entirely not her fault, but it still affects her over 40 years later.

When I was 12 (I developed early), a 10 yr old boy tried to impress me with his “manhood”. Instead of stuffing his pants with socks, like the rest of the boys, he decided to use his Dad’s soccer ball pump to inflate himself. All it earned him was some screaming, a lot of pain and a trip to the doctor. He was fine, But the air compressor incident reminded me of this story. Thank God, he only had access to a pump!

I'm pretty sure a bunch of these aren't accidental exits but rather somewhat unusual intentional departures.

5:04 *Did you know that there's prop ammunition? No, not blanks. A LASER shaped like a cartridge for the gun you already have!* *No, not in the 40 watt range (just what you see, pal!). Laser pointer/Cat Toy power. For In-Your-House target practice.*

7:18 'I forgot where Dave lives.' So not in your basement?

Here in the States every one of these stories would end up in a lawsuit, and then a product warning label.

Oxygen thieves… I’m keeping this in my vocabulary now.

13:38 Absolutely sent me into orbit.

All the videos of the Darwin awards and much, much are available on Lemon Party

As a kid, I always wanted to be a railway driver. Until I was on the way home and the train was late because of “trespassers on the line”. Dad didn’t tell me exactly what it meant, just said “the driver will need some therapy and a holiday”. I was just old enough to put two and two together and have since settled for model trains. Selfish jumpers.

On the playground back in the 90's/2000's, we played a game called Animal Crossing (no relation to THAT Animal Crossing). The idea was to run from one side of the swingset to the other without getting hit by the people on the swings. Amazingly, no one got injured. As an adult, I was on a highway and saw some teens walking on the side of the road (we don't have sidewalks...). This one kid suddenly breaks from the group and dashes across the street. If I hadn't been keeping my eye on them.... If I hadn't slammed on my breaks when I did... I probably would have hit him. He just looks at my car and starts laughing and waving to his friends. If I hadn't been so shaken up, I probably would have tried to get out and slap him for pulling a stunt like that. I don't think any of them were filming. This was probably still before tik tok. Point is... I didn't even hit him and I was shaken up. I always feel bad for people who end up accidentally killing one of those idiots..

we have a train bridge that goes over a feed mill that's about 20-30 feet above the mulch that's dropped off, we use to jump off the bridge every chance we had.

That rip current story gave me the heebie-jeebies. I live on the Pacific coast, and the undertow is crazy strong here thanks to barely any continental shelf. Every year, a lot of people get swept out and drown. Remember kids: rip currents kill, not sharks!

Jumping off stuff into the sea or off cliffs is dangerous but I can also verify that jumping off a boat dock can also be dangerous and lead to death but fortunately for the person I know who jumped off a boat dock into a few feet of water where they had been jumping all day with friends broke his neck in 4 places. This person was beyond lucky considering they broke c1, c2, c3 and c7 then walked out of the water packed up their campsite and had a friend drive them 2hrs into the closet hospital only to be told it wasn't possible to have a broken neck if they were still walking around but were very shocked to find out that this person should have been quadriplegic based on the broken neck bones. 6 months later after having a halo installed and removed from their head this person was back at work full time and now 10 years later the scars hardly show and doctors are still beyond amazed by their medical records/history. I tell this story because it could have very well ended up being a Darwin award but also to remind ppl that even if you do something 100 times that next one could be your last as it nearly was in my story.

Nope. One guy didn't put it up his own...he did it to someone else! Actually, the guy, a manager, goosed his employee with an industrial strength air-compressor and there is a video of it. The employee died from ruptured intestines & sepsis and the manager "disappeared" before the police could arrest him (last I heard). The VICTIM didn't even know it was going to happen. He had turned his back on the manager to go back to work and he got goosed by the manager. You can see in the video that the victim had ZERO idea that it was going to even take place.

That bridge from Hayling to Langstone is less than a mile from me right now. It's the only bridge from Havant on to Hayling Island, near Portsmouth, UK.

Lots of DBZA memes in this one, very good.

Here in Florida we just say"Hold my beer " 😂😂😂😂😂

Here in South Africa, some people go and lie on the road (typically a major road with a speed limit of 80-120 km/h either for drivers to stop and then have others Rob the person or steal the car, or with the intention of being hit by a car and then getting money by suing the driver.

5:24 Small issue, make sure to tape off the orange tip before just spray painting, as in most places you can't paint a toy to look real, but the minimum requirement across the board is that orange tip typically (always check your local laws to make sure but that's the typical minimum I hear passed around)

I hereby welcome Simon to the horrors of prescience.

Give this video the 'Educational' tag and distribute it as a PSA.

No Simon, it is not called horseplay in a court of law, it's called 'misadventure' ;)

Rule 1 of firearms: There is no such thing as an unloaded gun. Remove the ammo, clear the chamber, put a lock through the barrel; and still treat the thing as fully loaded with the safety off.

Seeing jordan on Simon's channel means I've gone into the RU-vid ourobourus. The never ending cycle has begun.

We lived near lakes and rivers all my life. One of the first things my parents did was teach me to swim. It's just a necessary life skill.

Hayling Island to Langstone Harbour... that's right by where I live... hearing it gave me a mini heart attack

Sometimes life is dark, sometimes desks are messy

Dave lives in Portsmouth then. Me too. That stretch of water is literally death. Full of pollution now too.

I was making the exact same face as Walken at that moment 😮

The last one, kids in my area were doing something similar to that but they’d do it on bicycles, one kid got smeared in the road by a dump truck couple hundred yards from my home and like a week later another kid did it again to same truck driver that hit the kid, dude shut off the truck right there in the road and walked away, quit driving truck completely, also to make you love reporters an article was posted about it in the local paper and the picture in the headline was of the actual kids shoe laying in the road but you couldn’t see it but his foot was still in said shoe, it did not go over well

The references to TFS Abridged are absolutely peak 👌

If someone dies on an online video, you have to wonder who posted the video.

16:27 not gonna lie, I once did this as a child. I was around 6 years old walking to or from school with an aunt. I had little to no impulse control and it just popped into my head that I wanted to race the truck that was comming down the road. So I got away from my aunt and ran across the street.

I believe that Everyone must know the Good with the bad.

You should try lab safety films. They have explosions! Many years back, someone left some ether in a beaker in a refrigerator over the weekend. Late on Sunday night, it exploded, sending the fridge 100m into the air and causing a crater about 16 feet across and 6 feet deep, into concrete and bluestone. The thing is, the lab that blew up was used by two people, one the labs safety officer and the other was the first aid officer. Both blamed the other for the accident.

learning to swim is something that is not taught in many asian country's on a school base, i totally would believe it is absolutely possible for somebody never thought about it that it is a skill you need to learn, or they can not do because they also don't remember how they learned walking. With missing out or not connecting the dots on fatality news from death by swimming accidents, it's very plausible he did not think to much about it how swimming actually works before he was in the water and does not know how to get to the shore at all.

I might be morbid but this video made me laugh more than most of your videos. 😂😂😂

Even my dad watches at least ONE Simon channel.