Dating a Cis person 

there is joke i really like Husband A is married to his wife B, but they have been having difficulty in the relationship recently and are drifting apart. One day, A's wife B goes up to A and says "I have some very unfortunate news." He says, "Me too, i have some very unfortunate news, but you go first." So B says to him, "I think i might be a lesbian." A's face lights up, and she replies to B, "I have some very fortunate news."

I’m a trans woman and I like women. Cis or trans doesn’t matter, I’ve been with and fallen for both. There are different complexities between dating a cis woman or a trans woman but ultimately I don’t have a preference, I just love women

I love hearing someone else saying that cis people can understand a trans person after having it explained. So many people say it's impossible but I've always felt people could understand if they were really willing to take the time to listen.

One of the things I love about your channel is that you are a Trans/Cis couple, which, correct me if I'm wrong, there's really no other channel like yours out there. I guess what I mean is, most trans ladies are either single or don't include their partner in their videos. So, your channel has been a priceless resource for me personally. Anyway, I came out to my wife back in February, and although things have moved slowly, I'm finally getting to a place where I'm telling people and eagerly looking forward to telling the next person(s). Hey, who knows, maybe someday will start a channel like yours, too?

I don't think there are statistics about whether T4T relationships are more common than T4Cis. However, there are surveys where people are asked if they are open to dating trans people and only queer/nonbinary respondants had a majority that said they were. This might imply T4T relationships are more common but, surveys also find most people also respond they don't know a trans person so 🤷‍♀️

I'm dating three women (some cis, some trans). I started dating all of them while I was still masc presenting. I came out a little over a year ago. They have been fiercely, wonderfully accepting and affirming.

My cis boyfren was raised with alot of sisters and has been with me since pre transition so he knows whats going on more then me sometimes ^.^

Found your channel today and I'm loving it! ❤ T4T is not always that magical, some trans people can be in a space where they're struggling with themselves and might reproduce really transphobic thoughts. Been there in my past relationship and, although I knew my partner was suffering, it was hurtful sometimes.

Love the two of you. I am also a trans woman married to a cis woman. We've been married for 17 years and I have been transitioning for the last three. It was rough in the beginning, but I wouldn't want anyone else at my side. 🥰

I'm the cis partner in my relationship, and your videos have been super comforting in reminding me that me we're not alone in this crazy but wonderful journey. :)

I sure need a wisened wizard of the womanly ways by my side.

I would also love to know the T4T vs T4Cis statistic! You two are always a ray of sunshine

Your cat looks so majestic in the background!

I’m a trans woman married to cis woman and we live in Denmark so it’s interesting to find this channel.

Hey! As a person who started to navigate gender in their early-mid 20s i wanted to thank you for making these videos... I stumbled upon your channel some weeks ago around the same time I started to admit to my girlfriend that im pretty much * not * cis and im considering taking further steps into a transition. These stories give me so much hope that we could still be together in the future and support each other in different ways. I love seeing people I can look up to be happy and share the good moments they have and how they help and understand each other, thanks a lot for sharing these

The RU-vid algorithm did me good today, I’m so glad I found your channel! 💜 Btw your speculation on how T4T compares to your own dynamic very much matches my own experience! Also things can be… interesting when both sides are loosely held together bundles of chaos. But on the other hand it’s soooo *fun*

"Do I want to be with her or do I want to be her?" I think that so often. Especially early on my transition. P.S. Anya, I finished your book and now I really need to know what happens next. Can't wait to see more of their adventures.

I'm a generqueer transman and I am dating a cis man. I am also ace. So we have issues many couples don't face. I can't really speak about them here as they are for the bedroom, but with communication we have worked out many of the kinks. I love following you ladies to see it from the other side of the gender spectrum.

This is a really cool video. I’m a transwoman married to my cisgender wife. She has continued to love and support me but it is work. Just had our 14th anniversary and I’m 2 years into my medical transition. Often it feels like others can’t understand how we can love each other so much even thought it often feels to us like a no brainer. It’s so wild.

I can't tell if I'm envious watching what appears to be a not utterly traumatized trans girl who was able to fully shed the old self, or if I'm inspired that maybe one day i will get as far as it seems you have. I expected a lot more discussion about the difficulty of feeling worthy of dating and trusting the cis person, but i guess that just exposes how important those issues are to me. 😑

Love this video. So much said and shared. Thank you!

I transitioned after nine years of marriage. We're still together. She understands me as a person, not necessarily as a trans woman, but my wife knows my values, my stories, and my fears. Like any good marriage, it's still a work in progress.

Always the highlight of my day when you two post, so thank you for another amazing video ♥

I er så seje!! Tak for at I deler jeres oplevelser som et par

My favourite Danish couple (yes, favourite - I don't care about the Royal Family😤)!

This video was an amazing watch! :D gonna have to watch more of of your videos, you two are so cute !!

Jackie, you’re living my literal dream life. I’m so happy that exists somewhere. Thanks

Great video as usual ❤

this was the first video of yours that I watched and it was so sweet! you guys are really cute

Thank you for a great video. I have found a lot of joy and comfort in T4T relationships. The ability to navigate sensitive conversations and support each other has been phenomenal, especially around navigating our trans bodies and when moments of dysphoria pop up. I've had a similar experience dating other neurodivergent people, especially as an Autistic person. I think more than T4T, I find myself in a Neuroqueer for neuroqueer sense of attraction. I need to communicate in a way that isn't always palpable to neurotypical or allistic individuals, including about gender. Some times T4T relationships can bring up similarly triggering experiences, but I think that this can be mitigated by healthy communication and diverse support networks. That allows for better communication of boundaries and if something is elevating both partners to pursue alternative support needs. That doesn't feel unlike other situations where a couple may have shared sources of trauma though.

I am in a T4T relationship with my girlfriend for 4 years already ;)

I am a cis woman and my girlfriend came out to me a few years ago, I am so grateful for your channel!

I literally thought to myself “this is such an awesome channel I have to subscribe” and realized I already was 😂

I love your videos so much! You’re so affirming and are such a cute couple! ❤❤❤

I've always wanted to know what it's like dating a cis person

I can see why this would be a bit confusing at times to be honest I don't really have friends that are trans or nonbinary but after watching this video I can see a bit why it's important to keep in mind of the things you need to know

Yaaaaay! I've been waiting for a new upload lol love you two. The Pokemon reference was funny and so real 😂 I think this is why I find myself attracted more to bi/pan/queer women and or androgynous transmasc people, because it's easier and more comforting as a genderfluid person myself. Like Anya said, do I want to be them or be with them lol that's always the question but also the fun! Best of both worlds. Also, haha, to Anyas point of attracting trans girls, an ex of mine which identified as a lesbian and bc I still look cis yet in my head very sapphic, I thought we were just going to be friends and she had to tell me that she was hitting on me and openly said my energy was extremely "lesbian" her words haha 🤣 thats when i began to learn that attraction isnt just about looks but the energy...I later learned her exes were all transwomen lol😅🤣

oh god, the "balloon animal" gesture again XD

After I came out as a poly bi trans woman, I went thru another slutty phase in my life but in that time I did meet several people I developed feelings for. 1 was a FWB that was also a trans woman n like u mentioned there were lots of things that either didn't need to be explained or momenta where I realized I'm not the only one going thru that, n it really helped. The 4 actual people I've dated since then however things were kinda different. One was also a trans girl but unlike me n my friend, my gf isn't on hormones, n presents as a guy in most of her life outside of the home or her sex life. I always wondered with her if she would even still be attracted to me after my surgery since she only seemed attracted to guys n trans women who still have their original bits. Things with her ended for completely unrelated reason tho so I never had to face that scary thought head on. Another girl I dated was cis n she was a bit over protective of me from bigotry n almost started a fight the night we met cuz of something someone said. It felt validating to get complimented by a cis girk that was so cute n it defs helped me feel better in my own skin. I had met her while visit family across the country tho so when incame back home the long distance curse got to us. My next ex to talk about presented as a straight cis man when we met but when I saw them last week they were very trans. I think they still use their male persona at work n like my other ex, I don't this they plan to take hormones. The whole relationship I could hear the egg cracking but didn't wanna say anything for fear that confronted them on it might make them double down on how cis they r out of protest n cause some internalized transphobia (ain't gonna pass on that trauma). But with all that said I felt like I was just a gateway on their journey of self discovery, n with how secretive they were about their life n then all the crap that came up when those secrets started coming out proved too much for me n I'm not gonna be made to be the "other woman". Last but defs not least is my amazing fiancé, a cishet man who loves me for me n my genitals don't play a factor (tho he is as excited as I am for when I do eventually get my surgery). He does notice people's bigorty more than I do (I've learned to assume everyone is just checking me out so their stares just boost my confidence) n he tends to get angry at them but he is a quiet fuming kinda anger so he has only once caused a scene n he didnt try to fight them off the bat 😹. He usually just dirty looks them n hopes I didn't notice them. He tries his best to understand my feelings of dysphoria n wutnot n he is amazingly supportive but i do have to explain things sometimes. After 3 yrs together tho I don't have to explain as much n sometimes he will catch me looking in the mirror n know I'm not happy n just tell me im gorgeous. 💜 I love him so much. He is normally so quiet n stoic but around me he has moments where he is just a lovable goofball or gets really vulnerable about his emotions, n randomly he'll give me the tightest hug he can muster n then go back to normal like he didn't just pounce on me 😹. I don't know if dating as cis person or a straight person is better, they both have their pros n cons, but im just happy I found someone so wonderful

You too are just gorgeous and I just love your content, I think the accents probably plays a good part in the charm for trans women (at least it appeals to me greatly).

Brandenburg Concertos in the background. Then Scott Joplin!

Transfemme/masc non-binary T/T couple here. We did run into some issues where things one person found very exciting and affirming felt triggering to the other person. Because of our relationship with those things because of our birth genders, and we had to figure out how to navigate that. But it's mostly been helpful in understanding each other and feeling connected.

I do want to disagree with something you said there - the bit at the end where you said "this video is long enough" 😃 I would have happily kept watching!

Thanks!

This is the first video of yours I've seen and I'm excited to watch more. You're both very sweet and seem so comfortable around each other. I'm in a queerplatonic relationship, which is kind of in the grey space between friendship and dating. Both my partner and I are aromantic so it's not a romantic relationship, but it's still quite close and committed. Both of us are nonbinary and I've described the relationship as T4T before. We're both slightly femme of center as I call it, but assigned different genders at birth. I'm closer to cis because of that, if that makes sense. But it's been really lovely to come out to each other, one after the other, and be able to have these kinds of conversations where both of us have a base level of understanding. We still have that piece of envy because both of us have physical attributes that the other wants. So it's different but I still resonated with a lot of what was said in this video

The bit at 6:25 is extremely relatable.

I am a intersexperson born with both gender markers my parents decided for me as an infant to remove the female parts and raise me as male. I do identify as male but my body cant produce Testosteron even reacts adverse to it. So i never had a male puberty and do look female and even if i go full male mode i never passed as a man. I can not change that since Testosteron makes me sick. Long story short in the end i found conecting with cis partners very hard since the expirience is so different. Even if i am not a trans person i fonud connecting with trans people way easier and that makes finding friends or love way more fun.

I personally usually find it easier for relationships and friendships to be with other trans people, not as a rule but more as a generalization. I'm bisexual and I did end up dating a cis man who I did feel just as comfortable around, but it turns out they might be trans too actually 😅 so maybe that's why I was comfortable from the start lol

Im a cis bi man with a trans boyfriend i love him soooo much

You seem like a lovely couple! Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. ☺

I never tell my cis partner that I'm trans. And she knew me from the start as a woman. I feel like it's just way easier this way and I really don't have to explain anything. Why do I have to explain when I "do womanly things", unless if people saw me as a man. If they see me as a woman I don't have to explain anything. That's my two cents.

I have a very complicated love life. I am trans woman married for a long time to a cis woman. It was absolutely wonderful that she helped me with purchasing clothes. I was too embarrassed to buy my own in the beginning. "Unfortunately" she was no help with makeup as she does not wear makeup herself. But she was wonderfully supportive. We are also poly. In my poly life, things become very interesting. When I date other trans women that we are mutually supportive. We do form our own closed transbian society. Talking with other trans women is just so much easier. We can talk in short cuts that is comfortable. Now here is the twist. I have met more cis lesbians who love being with trans women. Including a few newly out lesbians who are looking for community and find it unexpectedly with trans women.

Loved Pokemon analogy 😁

Living it here too, me being trans nonbinary and my fiancée being cis

My partner and I have been together for 8 years we are both women T4T but wasn't an intentional choice for either of us.

With "legacy relationships" that survive one partner's transition, there are more T4cis relationships. Otherwise this might be T4T. But there is also a depressingly large percentage of trans people who ever get to form any lasting relationship.

Thank you both for making this channel. Your videos are so calming and normalizing. There's nothing outrageous or stressful or rage baiting about your discussions and it's exactly what trans people need when coming out and starting on the journey. We're just normal people and it feels so good to have that validated. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

What country are you two from and how are trans rights and healthcare there?

I am happy that you are a happy couple.

I tried to guess who was who and i was wrong :/

It may seem that I am in a relationship that is more or less the same as yours (transfem married to cisfem), but this is only if you look at just one gender dimension. Seen from another viewpoint, I am a non binary marrried to a transmasc (yes I was the one proposed to, and the one being defended when needed). Involving more dimensions give many more interpretations. Essentially it just boils down to two people that feel the need and do their best to support each other - involving gender boxes does not add or take anything from this fact.

♥♥♥

Wait, so you've been together since pre-transition? Okay. I wanna find out about what it's like to date a cis girl post-transition. I am 24 and I already transitioned 2 years ago, and I did it effectively - been stealth passing since month 5. So the framework of the beginning, would not be the same as y'all. The mid to late relationship would be similar probably...

Goals

"We wanna turn it on its head-- it's het? Its head..." Definitely nothing het about any of this, lmao 😅

I'm just one of the first in the comments, and I think I will be.

As a trans woman, I wish I was a lesbian watching you two 😂

People fall in love with a person, not a gender. I am a trans woman married to a cis woman (my BFF/soulmate) - neither of us have ever identified as lesbian. I also identify as AroAce.

Oooooo purrdy kitty!

I,m a Gay man from Ohio and i,m Seriously open on dating a Cis man

Hey, why is my cat in your video?

Would you both ever want children? As a trans woman myself I see that as a major benefit of trans-cis lesbian couplings. I am a trans lesbian (mostly) myself.

I wish I could date

T4T or T4Cis? I’m poly and both. 😁

The T looks to be getting a broken heart 🤤💀💀m

does not match the trans lesbian dating experience

💙💜🤍💜💙 💕 ❤

This is absolutely stupid and something that should be shown in psychology/psychiatry class.

god the leftist audio and right wing audio is unbearable. Had to put my settings to play audio in mono. Great video otherwise.

You two are so much fun and I always learn a lot. Thanks for being so genuine. 🫶🏾🌻