Idc if she has a point or not, but exposing ur loved one to the whole world and saying that he is of lower caliber (which i interpret it as “inferior”) is just plain rude bruh. What i dont understand is, she talks about how mindset, attitude and character are the most impt to her, yet she keeps yapping about her bf’s educational level and MONEY.
she has a point when her bf actually improve and work towards their future (or to keep up with her since she is dating downwards) but if her bf is not capable or wise enough to keep up to the standard i doubt the relationship will be so peaceful.
@@dumblechel21 i get you.. when you present unfavorable traits of your partner to the world without consenting him/her or for the sake of making a content for social media indicate that she priorities other things over the welfare of her bf. From relationship POV, it is very disrespectful. I may not be very supportive of what she do but if you go back to the part to see her mum's explanation for objecting their relationship. She may be brought up with this mentality..
I think it comes from a culture and upbringing thing, where she’s trying to rationalize going against what she has been taught and her peers? Or maybe she is just rude lol
I don’t see how she’s materialistic. It’s not weird to want a husband who is a provider. And you need money to survive so go ahead and call humans materialistic. Nonetheless, she’s horrible for publicising this aside from that
Why would you talk about your partner like this to the whole internet? Her man sounds like a great guy who deserves better than her. He should know that he doesn't have to be with someone who called him "lesser caliber". That's just plain rude and demeaning. From the guy's own video, he seems oblivious himself. But I hope he can realise one day. As for the girl, the fact that it took her this experience of "dating downward" to know that people of "lesser earning power/no degree" can be this good, says a lot more about her as a person. How about just being a decent human being? Gross all around.
@@mikegan9382 Look "good" on the surface. But I wonder what will happen to their relationship if the guy start struggling in his career/job. And, not living up to her "standard" in term of providing for an extended period of time.
Because she's trying to break the matrix brainwashing of dating up or down. Both are nonsense. The common one being up and so she is trying to resist the brainwashing but doing the opposite and the man needs to be the example in her crusade.
he's not a good guy, he's a fool. A man needs to be man, and he needs to choose a wife that will help him through his life, and not one that just sees him as a source of income.
The moment he hits a hard spot that’s going to be messed up man. The gf only posts this now because the bf caught up. She just took the nearest boat until she sees a bigger boat. And “she is so gorgeous” just makes me feel like he is paying for the relationship. Poor dude is going to be played like a fiddle just because he is not of “noble blood”. On the small chance the GF is trying to defend her man in her social circle and say how good he is. This really isn’t the best way to write or say it. Could have started off with saying all the non materialistic traits, how they both went through good and bad times, and the other stuff she mentioned deeper into the posts. Going straight for “dating downwards” in the topic is like putting a sign on the ground to say there is no buried treasure there.
This toxic mentality of dating up or down has existed many years ago. Being in a healthy relationship means having empathy and empowering each other, not putting each other down. Unfortunately some have relationships for all the wrong reasons and treat it as some power dynamic, increased social standing, FOMO, etc. This is precisely the reason why divorce rates are on an increasing trend. Remember, learn how to identify red flags and nip it in the bud before it festers and becomes a bigger headache down the road.
lmao. the chick is just humble bragging she had the foresight to date someone with a lower salary whom later worked hard in his career (thanks to her investment). Should have changed her title to "How to train your man to his fullest potential"
If he did not double his income and match her pay, would she still have posted about her relationship? It sounds kinda selfish and one-sided to let him pay for everything just because now he is earning the same as her. Relationship is a 2-way street and it is about give and take. Anyway, people can be dating doctors and lawyers and still be in a happy and fulfilling relationship. Just because anecdotally she dated downwards and she's happy doesn't mean that people who are dating upwards are unhappy. Actually they have very similar vibes - they are of the same caliber la! Maybe she's just hoping to go viral with a controversial post - I mean look at the deliberate way they posed for the picture, especially the guy's facial expression and I guess she has succeeded - so the joke's on us 😅
There is no such thing as dating downwards. If you date someone who doesn't make as much as you do or isn't as educated as you are then that person is on your level because you chose to be with that person. If you really thought that they were worth less than you wouldn't have chosen to be with them and you would have looked for someone else instead.
I think her point is love is more than just money, but she worded it SO BADLY, and the way she keep talking abt income & earning power...... Really just draws attention away from the point she's trying so hard to make. Maybe get her story checked by chatgpt first b4 posting? And the upward, downwards, sideway, what in the google maps direction.... It just shows that she not treating her partner as her equal. lmao, ultimately i feel she just made that very first post to show the world how good her love life is going on :-D it's really not that deep, she wasnt posting to give some love advice, she just wanted to show off HER love life.... Well, it's making me laugh 😅😅😅
would have been more interesting if she 'dated downwards' and changed her own mentality to not spend so much and be satisfied with caipeng and genki sushi, instead of pressuring her bf to provide for her, and if she actually realized that money is not everything. instead of being so happy that she made her bf acclimatise to her high SOL and she now all the money to spend on all the crap she likes. i dunno. seems like the wrong takeaway.
@@yunababy525 But also a correct mindset because raising a family is no joking matter. A couple has to discuss bills, parental styles, credit, debt, religion, how to deal with family, what belief will be instilled in your children, individual childhood traumas (and how that translate to raising children), sexual expectations, partner expectations, financial expectations. Btw, the list is not exhaustive.
@@yunababy525 its a sad mindset, but at the same time they do have a point. While I don't agree with the 10% love thing, money is a big issue when it comes to marriages. When you take on the new journey of marriage, this also includes the financial aspect too. Marriage literally brings the statement " what's mine is yours and what's mine is yours " to life. If you're not careful you could end up thousands in debt just because your partner is financially irresponsible. Please don't become naive because of this.
@@etherealdreamer1930 I'm married, so I know what marriage entails. Naive is when you believe everything will work out in time - of course it doesn't. That's why all relationships -whether married or not- is called work. You work in your marriage, you hash out everything including money, your needs and wants, everything before you begin a commitment. Everyone seems to forget that it takes hard work to make a marriage. It's not just financial aspects, it's also emotional - actually I would say it is MOSTLY emotional. You have to be emotionally strong to carry on with the troubles you have within the marriage, and also be emotionally stronger to commit. It's not just logistics. Yes, their point is valid, but I entirely disagree with the 90% income problem. If it is so, then everyone shouldn't be "dating down" to be happier. And this woman is advocating a very very silly mindset.
I get what she mean. But saying you are dating downwards is such a toxic way of saying things. You can just say "despite how much he earns, I love his personality then all is good". Saying you are dating downwards is like trying to manipulate the guy emotionally. I know she is not doing it on purpose. But I feel like it is kind of a form of emotional manipulation to make the guy feel inferior and in a way telling him that he can't get a woman better than you. And saying all this is really a bad advice for woman, woman should not date down because it is easier, this will make them become resentful if they are expecting some form of lifestyle but the BF cannot provide it, and this will become very toxic. They should date whoever they want, and don't make this like some sort of game to minmax relationship. I wonder if the guy's income didn't grow like how it did, will the author still be with him.
As a man pov, i don't think i would like it when my partner shared that our relationship " dating downwards " just because i earn lesser than her like c'mon why must label the relationship like tat ? Why cannot just date for the sake of dating like out of love from following ur heart ? Why must label up/down/sideways dating ? Lol ?!
Because you are a man. Men in general don't care if a woman makes little money or a lot of money. They are more concerned about personality and looks. For most women if you are not making a certain level of income or have the potential to make that income they won't even consider you.
If a woman tell you she is dating downwards when she is with you, just run away. She means she earn more and more capable than you. When you next time, you are earning more or more capable, she will say she see your potential that is why she dated downwards. Please is just another way of telling others she is good and desirable and have a good heart.
Wah she really needs to get off her high horse. I know many people without degrees but are good family men. She seems to be too fixated on money and status, and her video speaks volumes about her character. It's as if she sees the value of her partner only in monetary terms. So, had he not been able to double his earning power within a year, despite being of good character, she would have thought lesser of him. This idea of dating down needs to go. I hope the best for them tho!
I do not think that she's speaking from a 'high horse' perspective at all. She is trying to be realistic with the fact that people do look at status / money when choosing partners, and her main point is to tell people to give it a try, even if they are not the 'ideal' partner. The mistakes she made are her wording "dating downwards", and revealing her/her bf identity.
Dating downward is not much a Western men's issue. It is more a Western women's concern. But in Asian families, they always push to date upward. Never downward. However the dating upward's expectation has a list of vanity, materialistic, and selfishness. It's hard to have a successful relationship with dating upward.
At least it seems like they are happy and all. But her point was kinda lame since. She basically said dating down was the right choice be it eventually became dating up. So.....
good for them and I'm guessing she had good intentions for her video, but damn what type of friends does she have? When I started dating my gf, neither of us knew or bothered to ask about our finances or salary or whatever, none of my friends asked about it too. my parents also didnt give a single fuck, if we love each other that's all - and shouldn't that be the norm? Since when were relationships about money or education lol
There is some nuance in dating downwards for women, because what SG women want is to some degree is an attractive simp, because if he is like an attractive chad that has everything going for him Job, Car, Wealthy Family, he could have other physical traits Lean, Tall, Fair Complexion, then he may have too much power in the relationship as more SG women desire that hence he could bail out anytime, lets face it she may not be the prettiest one but there is also growing competition withing her social circle to find someone better for her to climb the social-ladder of her friend group, every SG woman wants to also have a trophy boyfriend to show her friends "this is my boyfriend, See i am happy, and you should be for me" If he didnt check all the boxes then hes less likely to be desired by other women so he is more likely to stay in the relationship or at least work things out. Not all SG women will end up with someone that they see in a K-Drama film, and i think women shld understand that early. Like she as mentioned in the video she has experience dating someone of higher status than her, most women in SG after they date upwards (Hypergamy) they dont wanna go back down, as they think relationships will get better and the guy MUST be better, to SG women every guy is like a Samsung or iPhone u only upgrade your phone never downgrade. Just remember every guy and woman is unique qualities and traits cannot be replicable between previous man or woman. A man may have these traits A, B and C, and if a woman decides to break up with him, she would expect the new guy to now have traits A,B,C and probably D and E because she wants an upgrade otherwise she may feel she is losing out, the paradox of choice lives with those in power when you are exposed to more choices in a dating app u always want to know if u have felt u made the right choice hence waiting to see every option. Its no surprise that marriage and birth rates are on the decline, more women are now into management fields, taking up degrees to earn more money and compete with men in more ways than one, hence they may feel they have a say in a relationship, our mothers/grandmothers were not as educated as our fathers as they may be more encourage to be home-makers or at least take up jobs that didnt require a demand for the type of education certificates presented. I still live by the truth that SG woman can always replace an SG man, because theres always a simp waiting to catch her when she falls, for the man its different you have to find a way to survive
woman, when you're older and your wrinkles start to appear, you better make sure you match his caliber. so far bringing nothing to the table, pretty sure reality will hit you like a bag of bricks in a few years. tip, time flies ;)
Looks doesn’t put food on the table nor does it make you build a friendship. So looks are irrelevant since they fade anyway. She’s talking about education and money.
So now that he earns more than her, he's basically dating downwards. So is she going to start paying for everything now like he did and try to double her income? With this whole dating downwards, subtly forcing him to pay for more expensive restaurants than Genki, and now enjoying the fruits of having him earn more than her, it almost sounds like she was grooming him.
I think what she's trying to say is that dedication/ sincerity is more important than income. Which is actually positive, because so frequently when you hear people talk about their ideal partners they list off superficial traits (e.g. looks, height, wealth, status). Not that I really blame people for being superficial about money, as Singapore's such an expensive city to live in, but that's another topic. Commentors are pretty sensitive, she's isn't dissing him, she's simply stating that he used to make less than her; an insult would be saying if people of lower income are gross/ insert other negative adjectives.
Then calling it dating down is kind of unnecessary - even if it's a matter of fact. It's also a fact that dating down is taken negatively in a social context. It's like calling someone with a low IQ retarded, even if that is true in all accounts. Word choice is still equally important with context
@@AcediaRulerOfSloth Because he made less than she did, and that term is usually used with regards to "qualifications", i.e. your job title or income. I see a lot of folks mad with her for using this term, but it's not a new thing (I've been hearing this phrase for years, it isn't a recent Gen Z invention), and she did not invent the term.
@@purplepotato8849 i wonder if you watched the video cuz if you did, you wouldve known that isn't even the term's original meaning. Nowhere did it specify that calibre = income / job title.
Her end goal is to create more controversies so her socials continues to blow up and she makes more money. It's clearly all about da MONEY for her...and seems her simp bf is on board with that strategy.
Hello Yeolo if you can see this comment hopefully next time the quoted text can be smaller. hard to reach because it's too big on my screen and i have to read through letter by letter lol. cheers!
There is no upwards or downwards…..all are equal in love…..if there is even a notion of upwards downwards then this will creep up when couples quarrel….
This girl: "Social Status is not a thing anymore." Also this girl: ***Goes ahead and expose that her bf is of "lesser caliber" on the internet*** Lmao 😆 Edit: I was kinda advocating for the guy and want to defend the bro at first but when I heard his side and he did the heart shape with his hands. I'm like: Bruh, what are you, a kpop pick me wanna be? Not gonna judge them anymore. They truly deserve each other.
Lol dating downwards. We men have been dating downwards for centuries and have never need to speak out like her before. So when girls date upwards it has become their right not their privilege? 🤷
Nothing wrong here. Those two seem perfect for each other. They're not terribly sophisticated. One is in love with money, the other is in love with sex. It is as Darwinian as it gets. That said, it is worth pointing that the couple is young and they may evolve with time. Humans want different things during different times of their lives, and this seems developmentally appropriate for their age. I'd be more concerned if this keeps up till retirement age, where one is still obsessed with money while the other obsessed with sex. Most people want more companionship as they age and 'dating upward, downwards, or laterally' probably won't factor into their equations. I think what most people are uncomfortable about here is the cringe associated with the delivery of the message. They're not wrong about young people prioritizing money and sex, but they just went about it in a weird way. Try looking beyond that and you'd see quite a cute couple, well, at least to me.
Yes, the only difference know is that they don't take being a wife, girlfriend and mother seriously anymore. At least in the past she would try to be a good girlfriend, wife and mother
I kinda get her point. She definitely didn't mean to shame her bf. Nowdays everyone has such crazily high standards in dating : good-looking, money, car, house, degree, wealthy family etc. She's trying to raise awareness that sometimes the best love you need does not necessarily come from all that.
As a man, chai png is all we eat(consider luxury already), the worst is Maggie after bringing gf out. But we won't share that we eat that, because man. Or Girl: babe can I borrow $350? I need to do something important, I promise will return you. Me: ok sure. (Behind the scenes, eat maggi for 2 weeks).
Yes, talk about how personality is everything by basing their foundation on comparing on how much both of them earn, and still talk about how much they can spend now since he is earning more 👍👍👍 its great to date down
Is this really surprising? It is just how a lot of women think when they're not sugar coating or being pc but has always been reflected in how they date. I'm a man, with a lot of female friends. I've heard about everything you can about how they view men. It is the nature of growing up in a patriarchal society that they expect you to live up to. Either when they met you, or the potential to rise above them. An "investment" as one in the video put it. I always share that even the most progressive EU countries have stigmas about stay at home dads. I want to be clear that not all women subscribe to it but it would be disingenuous to say a majority don't, especially in Asian society. The infamous "rather cry in the back of a BMW than happy on the back of a bicycle" saying came from us. Well more specifically said by women and never men. I'll paint two scenarios I've encountered commonly. Dated a girl for a while, lied I was having issues with money. She left soon after thinking she was "better than me". Another was with other successful women. I make good money too but if they made more they reactively deflated or wanted to help me make more than them (again referring to "potential"). It'll take real hard social shifts before men aren't expected to be providers in the same fashion women aren't expected to be the sole home maker.
I feel like a lot of Singaporeans just go around sizing everyone up and deciding their worth and then use that as a cudgel to hit other people over the head with. Don't like it.
It's difficult for a Malaysian Chinese like me to date a Malaysian Chinese girl since I only pass Spm. I think for moment now Malaysian Chinese girls prefer either Singaporean, Korean or Japanese men. It's because most capable ones have migrate to Singapore.
It is easy to bring others up if you yourself are high and powerful enough. So if you value overall compatibility in all areas rather than just status compatibility alone you can actually give yourself a wider dating pool to explore. After all Singapore is very small and too many people are too overly meritocratic and self serving if not outright jerks to begin with. Your life partner is to be with you for a lifetime. You might as well search more carefully and wisely for the right one instead.
Aiya I get that her intention is to get people to not think that all women should date upwards. But just singaporeans are just really bad at making things sound nice on paper. Efficient expression but doesn't sound very nice.
That's not efficient expression at all lol, that's yapping about money and status for 80% of the post, which completely contradicts the point she's (suspposedly) trying to make.
@@marlarki5280 It's efficient because she doesn't bother thinking about how to phrase things nicely. Asian languages are not very allergic to negative expressions. I heard from a professional translator, one of the first things she would do is to think of a positive expression when translating Korean or Chinese because if you translate word for word, it can sound very negative, which may not be the intention of the speaker. If you extrapolate that, you would understand why Singaporeans don't really speak very nicely. We often come off as rude. Also, I was mainly referring to the term she uses, not her whole rant
Read some of her posts on Lemon8 and all I can say is... He deserves better. She is hyperfixated on a male partner having a "provider mindset" as a mandatory prerequisite, somewhat torn being wanting be a tradwife but also a girlboss which is unfathomable
straight up narcissist and immature to consider someone lower or above you when that man is trying and you aint even doing shit?? was it really necessary to expose ur bf?? saying "dating downards" when hes literally earning as much as you now is literally hilarious to me💀💀 and expecting him to do shit for you and take care of you like a baby when YOU literally have the money for it shes happy because she has money for herself and her bf money while the guy is literally being fooled that she actl likes him for him like mother like daughter lmao
I feel like this just doesn’t matter. Personally, when I like or want someone they have “something exceptional” about them-is that a standard or “upward dating,” idek…I don’t get my own generation. If you hit it off, great; if you don’t, you don’t. Same thing for that couple, it doesn’t pertain to ourselves. Say your anti-opinion and go do your own thing. I’m guessing they had a mutual agreement or talk about what happened pre and post “controversy.” Lastly, like because she went public with it, he also could’ve did or said something too but he chose not to-or maybe there was just no problem. If there’s nothing, threatening there’s no reason to assume things are bad or not. And he did get chosen too, in the end, not an uncommon thing among asian, or even American dating culture. Again, if they don’t work out, break up, then they just DONT work out ykyk! Which is TOTALLY OKAY!
People are so chronically online these days they even want to share their details of their dating life…Like what?If I was the guy I would be really fed up
Dating downwards? Ma’am do you see your face? 💀 always the mid ones talking lol, poor dude honestly. Focus on yourself guys, let the higher quality women come to you.
I think most women dont mind dating downwards, because there are so many other traits they consider (e.g empathy, faithfulness, how you make her feel..etc .)but the only thing that cannot be overlooked is height 😂
This is pretty simple, she's facing the backlash because she has over-shared her own thoughts and personal experiences with the whole friggin world and only a few who knows her understood her. I'm sure her own close group of friends and family will be able to agree with her more, in other words, setting her account private would have saved her from all that backlash. If people are really having problems with the terms she used, namely "dating up/downwards", then they need to ask themselves if they are hypocritical.
She's facing the backlash because she has altered the integrity of what love means to different people. Although she might think that there is nothing wrong with dating guys for their looks or money, there are also people who date because of the experiences they've been through and their true affection for their partner. Because the latter situation is rare, people who doesn't experience such love always deem those as "fairytale." In addition, the advent of dating apps, people now look for their partner based on materialistic things as finding a replacement is so easy and accessible. With these two distinct perspectives on relationships, there will always be haters when one side is vocal about their stance. I favour the latter institution of finding someone because of the experiences and affection we have for that person, so I can see why others who favour the same are so critical of her. She is trying to put on the facade of "find true love instead of money," but the whole topic in her post revolves around money, which is very contradictory. It almost feels like she's just flexing about her dating a simp who eventually turned successful.
Tl;Dr, girl is dating competitively and sharing how dating in a lower elo (Gold and below) is better then dating in a higher elo (plat and above). Internet shames her for shaming her bf and now she claps back saying her bf ranked up (from gold to master to legend). The internet continues to shame her and she keeps clapping back.
To me, it sounds like she decided to want to break up with him many years ago but hasn't found "the upgrade" yet so she's trying to justify staying with him for now (a behaviour known as "branching").
He needs to get out of there. He's going to burn up his savings for someone who sees him as lesser just because she can't read between the lines. Girl, stop going to fancy places when you know it hurts him financially!
what works for a couple may not work for another couple. If this downward upward sideway thing is working for this particular couple then good for them. Anyways its fun to have stories like this to watch lol
She only had to wait for 1 year, not every man have the chance upgrade his life in such deadline even if he gives his all. And how if he's not that lucky and never get to the girl's standard? I BET she would leave him in 2-3 years time.
