Sometimes, people change their mind. I used to take this so personally but it's just a first date and I'm sure I've also been on the giving end of this. They may have been genuine in the moment but then had time to reflect and changed their mind. I don't waste my time or energy or feel rejected by someone who isn't interested anymore, I know I'm awesome and I don't have time to waste on people who aren't interested in getting to know me as a friend or romantically, as simple as that. It sucks when you meet someone you finally feel attracted to and connected to, whatever the reason (trauma bonding or not), but ultimately they may completely be wrong for you, hate all your hobbies, can't stand how you chew and are just a mirage of what could be but isn't actually. They did you a favor
Can’t stand how you chew lol. It recently happened to me that I went out with someone I was attracted to, had similar values, etc but he made it clear he couldn’t be alone. After one week he told me things were moving too slowly. Ruined it for me.
Yep, I always say men are 20% real and 80% figments of our imaginations. Before we know them well and sometimes even after we know them well we imbue them with all these qualities that they really don’t possess. When I find myself doing that I nip it in the bud because I’m aware of what I’m doing. I’m sure men also do this.
Yep this just happened to me. Fantastic first date and goodnight kiss, invitation for golf a couple days later then 👻. One great date and ghosted. Rejection is gods protection.
It’s very frustrating lol. But such is dating in 2021. It’s all a learning experience . And as a man, it’s makes me know more what I want and be able to walk away from the games .
@@SusanWinter thanks Susan, you just build a thick skin and follow your instincts . But watching your videos and hearing that pretty much everyone else goes through the same games helps a bit . You’re great at what you do honestly . 🙂
My reason for not textning first is fear of being rejected, wanting the guy to text first, seeming needy and lack of my own self confidence. But lately I’ve been doing it if I’m interested and just thinking if not them, someone else or just gym motivation. 🤷🏼♀️
Sometimes we also have great dates but the person is not someone we can see ourselves with. Unfortunately most people don’t have the balls to be direct and just say it
From my perspective the reason that I would stop texting someone would be that I wasn’t physically attracted to them enough or otherwise see any prospect of a long term relationship developing between us. I know myself and have had enough experience of relationships to be able to make this decision after two or three dates. If you know this it’s far better to make this decision early rather than string people along and waste time. I wouldn’t ghost necessarily, but I wouldn’t initiate any texting or set up another date; from this I would hope that it would just fizzle out and that they eventually would get the hint. If they flat out asked me I would tell them diplomatically and politely that I’m sorry but I don’t want to develop things any further between us.
I think these types of questions deal with one party’s hopefulness that the other party’s charm and ability to engage with someone during conversation also implies chemistry and interest.
Wow I just have a similar situation. I when to few dates with this girl I like and sudantly she started to act flaky. We were supposed to have a date last weekend and she reports it to today because she was "sick". Yet, still didn't have any news from her but this talks to me so well! Thank you Susan!
Thank you Susan! You are so good! 💕🌺. I found your channel last Sunday as I obsessed about a guy - very similair story to what Nathan describes with this girl. I watched many of your videos and brainwashed myself with your clever yet loving advices!...I liked you so much that I have ordered your book "Allowing Magnificence: Living the Expanded Version of Your Life". Thank you again - this video was extra Great!! 👊👍🌞
Susan, this resonates so much! Interesting that every time this happened to me, I found out that the person coupled up later on with someone less than me on a couple of aspects (looks, sense of humor, intelligence, cheekiness, and others!). It is mind blowing. Thank you!!😊
Hello Susan I have a unique situation. My partner of two years has recently found out that her Cancer diagnosis is dire. She has kept most of her battle from me, and hadn't told any family or friends at all in the whole two years. Her parents have only found out in recent weeks with her in and out of hospital. Her Mum and Dad both have cancer, so I can understand her not telling them, but I have kept her secret for the last two years at her request, even from her close friends. She has now shit me out entirely and isn't letting me be there for her at all. I think that she's dealing with her grief of the bad news and partly trying to protect me from seeing her sick. I just feel that it's going to hurt more not being able to be there for her, than dealing with being there. Especially if I'm not allowed to be there for her in whatever time she may have left. I'm really struggling with this and it's breaking my heart that not only might I lose her, that I can't see her again. Has anyone experienced anything similar with being pushed away and was there anything that you were able to do that opened up communication again? At this point she has told me not to contact her again and I haven't been able to see her in person at all. I have no idea how to deal with this, it's tearing me apart.
@@feliciamartins692 i am listening to this channel and would it not be counterproductive if i initiate, the guy does not seem interested. Would it not be pushing myself to him
They shouldn't really be wasting people's time by going on first dates, if they haven't made themselves ready to start on the path of a real relationship, with a person who fits the bill. All this time-wasting is so selfish and rude, especially given a woman's biological clock.
@@alexflips393 yeah it’s a tough one, do you chase and look needy/low value or move on to the next date and potentially lose out on a good connection. Just seems everyone has far too many options and are looking for that perfect someone who may not exist.
I would say that in the moment, lost cause, but if you’re still thinking of her months later…reach out. She may be in a different place mentally and be more open to getting to know you better. This has happened to me, and I was delighted to hear from this guy I’d had one great date with. For reasons I won’t get into, I wasn’t in a good place to move forward before, but I was the second time.
@@ltdodgen that’s an interesting take, I’ll have to remember that. I suppose there’s nothing to lose at that point and it leaves you open for the other person to potentially contact you. Just a lot of waiting which can be frustrating when every other person disappears.
So... most girls I met wanted a quick spark. Pink cloud.. Not the way for me and, however I could get very good at it, I do NOT want to deliver a unreal performance to make an, infact unreal, impression to meet those expectations. I deliberatly slow down extra to see if I have a durable person in front of me and learning to "use my parachute" to keep seeiing/returning to the open blue sky. There must be those that take time and are loyal in getting to know me. I know this but also guess because I met a lot of/only traumatised girls. I see right true trauma's and unbalance and from this I was able to learn/strenghten in my own values. I'm amazingly inspirational, shown when I trust and know the other is okay and loyal to the proces of meeting and getting to know each other for who we realky are and only then decide weather to commit 100%. I must say sometimes I have an immediate click, but appreciate slow normal proces in getting to know each other. Why girls often want something so quick? Because they don't know what is needed for this kinds of investment en durability in future relationship. So red flags are obvious. If someone don't respond anymore I delete her number, do not let my ego in the way, do not invest in their proces finding out how it works because i am already there. It's about meeting with the sole who is in the same proces growth as u are. Only there can be a fit. However i'm beginning to doubt if they actually exist 😁😥 / not meant to elivate myself above others, someyimes very frustrating. Greetings from the Netherlands
