❤ Loved this episode. Sooo important for overall health because I believe that the emotional undercurrents of our life are the real drivers of all behavior. Most of us all ignoring this issue and wondering why they are unhappy and discontent with their life. I am currently single and learning how to love myself accurately which is creating such a beautiful space for me right now. I'm truly enjoying my self discovery process.
Starting to sound real hard to find the right life partner; you've got to be attracted physically and emotionally, adapt with each others change over the decades, both be so emotionally intelligent and have the right amount of self esteem etc.
Dating slow has so many benefits. Delaying physical intimacy with your date or intimate partner can be highly beneficial. Engaging in sexual activity triggers the release of oxytocin, especially in women, fostering a bond that might overshadow compatibility assessment. By the time you see you are incompatible, it becomes much more difficult to detach because you have already been attached and don't want to loose them so you start to compromise your values and standards to keep the relationship/situationship despite your cognitive dissonance and suffer the consequences. People who rush into early sexual encounters often have insecurities and attachment issues. They do this to establish an emotional connection before incompatibilities surface. If you are starving for emotional or physical closeness, there is a risk of becoming chemically and hormonally attached to a person who isn't compatible. And both men and women who rush into sex are more likely to attract partners, especially female partners, who believe they can earn affection, love, and attention through sex which usually doesn't work.
Thanks so much for highlighting the importance of a healthy relationship for overall health and longevity. This isn't emphasized enough. As a parent, it concerns me that many younger people are socializing less and instead are getting their dopamine from looking at their phones rather than building real meaningful relationships. I wish I knew the solution to this. If you want to do more relationship content, the Gottmans and Esther Perel are always excellent.
I'm so confused by this choice of guest. I can appreciate wanting to branch out with the topic, but the reason why I listen to this podcast is because the mission statement is about bringing listeners evidence-based insights from trustworthy sources. There are so many clinical psychologists with impeccable credentials who have spent decades studying the science of relationships and/or who have spent decades treating couples with relationship issues. Any of them could have been called upon for this topic, but the guest is a "relationship coach" who worked with Tony Robbins. She's had zero formal training. It's as if one week we had a podcast episode with Dr. Chris Gardner talking about how various diets shake out in clinical trials versus how they actually function in the real world and the consensus position for how much protein you actually need each day to the next guest being Derek from More Plates, More Dates. I mean, wtf? I don't want to know why this random relationship coach thinks people aren't getting married as often anymore or why she thinks the divorce rate is whatever it is. There are actual people studying these things. I want to know what they have found in their research and the literature. Because I'm interested in psychology, I follow a few therapists/psychiatrists podcast/youtube channels just like I do with nutrition and the difference between how those guests talk and what they bring to the subject matter and this one is pretty stark. Full disclosure, I gave up halfway through. It was a massive waste of my time.
I understood what you meant, and also felt like a loss of time (speed x2). I tried to listen more by telling myself that because of some kind of gender bias that i felt bored. she did not said thing blatantly false even touch on how "love" could be an opium for women especially yet the self-help esoteric vibe felt slightly off indeed idk.
Just out of curiosity, how could she have been better? Or, what could have been better out of this episode? I thought it was great. It's nice to just hear a conversation between two people without studies and evidence and numbers. Just two good people talking about relationships. It was the first episode that I listened to in full and I am way more interested in the nutrition side of it. Well done Simon!
@@HungryPeoplePodcast it's cool for SH to feature a variety of guests on a variety of subjects. relationships & sex are significant factors when it comes to Diet & Nutrition and overall Health & Wellness.
I do agree with this comment, that she is only a life coach and the proof ethos’s is about having people that are highly educated & are at the top of their fields to weed through BS But I found this extremely interesting and entertaining and very down to earth , giving simple strategies for a good relationship. I feel it will be very helpful for a lot of people struggling, as always not for everyone…. We aren’t perfect. Thanks again for your wonderful work Simon 😊
@@TheProofWithSimonHill - I guess it depends on the topic and if I find it interesting. You did a good job showing interesting clips in the beginning of the video and tying it in to your channels theme by mentioning how relationships are important for longevity ...which a good portion of your audience is probably interested in
Hi Simon, if you're after feedback on whether to do more episodes in this space, then yes it's a vote from me. Thanks for bringing a different topic to the channel. And also, more environmental/climate change episodes too - I lap those up!
Loved this episode! I’ve shared with a couple of mates also. So glad you asked about those of us who are in long term relationships thinking about maybe not with partners on the same growth trajectory. Really loved this episode and will come back and listen to it again. Thanks for asking the real questions Simon!
Tough part is always finding balance. Discerning, but not so critical that we nitpick every single person. Self love and being comfortable alone, but not so fiercely solitary that we never seek out a partner. Balancing the prioritization of our own happiness vs our partner’s. Communicating changes we’d like to see vs giving up and trying to find someone “better”. I’m recently back in the dating world after a 10yr relationship and I grapple with these problems all the time, so this was an interesting topic and timely episode for me
This one felt largely unsubstantiated by evidence. Hated the implication that not being in a relationship/not being in love means that a person is not fulfilled ("isn't there some truth to our cups being not 100% full if we're not in love with someone?" uh hello, biased much?? Honestly such an insane take that I fully expected her to start laughing as if it were a joke.) and I especially disliked her opinions regarding people who find themselves in abusive relationships. In fact I felt like both were really harmful for people to hear, especially for those in abusive relationships. Toxic 'situationships' are so different from abusive ones where victims can be trapped for a number of reasons and abusers can be charming and adept at hiding their red flags at first. Are we really trying to shift the blame to victims for not 'choosing better'? Usually I really like all these episodes even if I disagree with some of the talking points but this one just fell so disappointingly short to me.
Hi Friends, Curious to know - which part of our recent conversation did you find the most engaging? Also, if there are any other questions you have in mind about this topic, just leave them below. I'll ensure they're included in our next chat.
I got married about 6 years ago and we just had our first baby a few weeks ago.I don't remember dating being this complicated when I was in my 20s (I'm 34). As far as making your partner's happiness as important as your own... You'll really know if that's so when you're both sleep deprived with a newborn. I'm so thankful for my husband, my family, and am glad I'm not dating now. Good luck to those that are.
I believe that trauma starts even in the womb, especially in my situation where my mom was shot in the stomach she lived, and I lived or just sometimes born being very highly sensitive for a reason and it’s I’ve been getting help all my life to cope this is not I do things that are very challenging but that raise self-esteem, but it can be very intermittent. It’s an exercise, but we can’t keep overachieving to feel good about ourselves becomes very exhausting. I learned to be a survivor now I’m learning still to this day probably till the day I die to be OK with me a lot of people like myself or dead a long time ago so I’m lucky. I had a tremendous amount of pain that motivated me to keep reaching out and getting help . All the things you’ve talked about I’ve been through all my life. I understand everything you’re saying so I’ve come along way if everybody will be able to get this an easier way the world would be a different place for the last hundred years we need a simple program thank you for sharing. Yes, personal responsibility one am I doing the process still?
10:20 Maybe you're just driving them away with your behaviours? Alot of stuff which I've seen Turecki post are tired old tropes about if they are distant, unavailable etc, then walk away etc, yet she doesn't appreciate the person may be driven them away or causing them to withdraw.
Most women do not get creeped out when a man comes up to them to say hi or introduce themselves. It’s only creepy when they say something odd, off or not factual. Example: I am a regular at my gym and everyone wears earbuds. I jam out but NEVER dance at the gym. A guy approached very cheery and cool then said that am that girl that is always dancing at the ropes (as in the rope machine for arms). I totally got turned off 💯 and my face showed it. He got really scared. He ruined it even though I was not attracted to him one bit, I was looking at it as extending my network but when he said something false, I wanted him to walk away, fast. 💨
Love doesnt exist! It is a marketing Invention meant to put a cute label on a phisical reaction, people chose a partener with certain qualities but the core reason for a durable relationship it is the number of compatibilities between the two … comun interests, passion phisical atraction, which can be achieved only thru personal and individual achieved goals… only the ones with self confidence and self suficiency have a real chance to be in a durable couple! ❤
I always say I’m just gonna listen and not comment but I love these insightful conversations so much that I keep wanting to engage with this channel. I want to add that for me personally learning about personal boundaries is number one in any context. Learning our physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, sexual and financial boundaries is the way to build an understanding of ourselves. Our personal boundaries is what creates our identity, they also are our values and self worth. Only by knowing our own boundaries we can engage with the world around us in a healthy and safe manner. Once we learn this and we know what we want, we know what to look for and when we meet someone or come around something if it is our match or not. The thing we should always look at is actions. Actions speak louder than the words. When someone’s words does not match their behaviour it’s a clear red flag. And it’s better to be alone than with a fool I believe so. Super grateful for this channel, Simon!
Hi, Simon. Even though I liked the episode, here's a -hopefully- constructive criticism for Jillian: learn to listen more. Stop interrupting and think before you answer, I felt like you had a dialogue/script going on in your head and not really listening to the points that Simon was trying to make. If I separate the subject and the substance, the substance was good, the but subject delivering it felt so arrogant and impatient.
I read this comment before listening to the entire episode and I really couldn’t see any situation where Jilian did interrupt or not answer to the questions.
She’s an expert. That’s how experts who’ve answered the same questions 1000 times, speak. Be self aware about your own biases against a women speaking in this way versus a man. When was the last time you criticized the WAY a man speaks instead of what he was actually speaking about.
@@Melinamiu007 Neil deGrasse Tyson on Joe Rogan podcast. What he’s saying makes perfect sense, but the way he communicates it, his behavior, is terrible.
Hi Simon, you and Gillian nailed this topic! There's something here for each one of us, either in, or out of a relationship. Your prior reading, and question range, and Gillian's experience, and knowledge made this a 10/10 podcast conversation. Thank you 🙂
Wish washy … that’s a term to describe someone who doesn’t really have a straight answer … I found her difficult to listen to …and contradictory at times having listened to ester perel who occupies this space so well I just didn’t get the majority of what this person was saying as having much validity
Excellent podcast! Tons of very intelligent questions! I loved her personal insight on "attachment styles." Although I follow her on IG, this was the best one so far. Jillian Turecki is absolutely fascinating!
The name of this interview should have been “Stating the Obvious “. 37 minutes of her saying stuff like. “If the tire on your car is low on air, I mean you need to add some air or like if there is a nail it um you need to have a tire shop fix it.” Ya’ lol were really trying to sound deep but it wasn’t happening. Addiction is a red flag!??? Holy shit I never would have known. Thanks for the info!
Great one, worth listening twice ❤ Thanks 🙏 i would be so happy to stop online dating where you find yourself killing time swiping and feeling like in a huge supermarket you never wanted to be a customer of😅
