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The 3 BIGGEST REASONS Why MOST Relationships DON’T LAST! (How To Find Love) | Matthew Hussey 

Tom Bilyeu
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On Today's Episode:
Dating to have a long-term relationship means being intentional and doing things a little differently. Judging the success of your existing relationship on the passion you feel now and your ability to suppress your doubts and insecurities for the moment are not great long-term strategies for a successful relationship.
Let’s get straight to the point and help you figure out what you’ll need to start doing to have a healthier, happier, and longer lasting relationship with the right partner.
If you ever searched for relationship advice on RU-vid chances are you've seen Matthew Hussey, the relationship guru appear in the search results. His RU-vid channel and career has been dedicated to helping women Get the Guy by showing women how to rediscover their power so they can start dating from a place of empowerment, confidence, and security. His dating advice and approach to coaching people in relationships is real, raw, and honest.
Today he’s talking with Tom and sharing 3 things everyone must know and account for if being with your partner for the long-haul is a goal. Between Matthews 15 plus years experience coaching women and Tom’s 20 plus years of being successfully married, they are dropping gems you can’t afford to miss.
SHOW NOTES:
0:00 | Introduction to Matthew Hussey
0:47 | 3 Ways to Fix Your Relationship (1:48)
15:33 | Secret to Making Each Other Happy
28:47 | The Right Relationship Is Hard Work
37:47 | Allow Space for Insecurities
46:57 | Break Your Emotional Patterns
53:14 | Do This To Stop Arguing Over B.S.
1:13:51 | Dating Differences for Men and Women
1:30:37 | Regret of Having Kids or Relationships?
QUOTES:
“Continuing to grow is one of the greatest challenges you can present.” [2:22]
“Respect your relationship and your partner enough to try, [...] to actually put in the effort with them that you put in with new people” [4:21]
“We have to be willing to give someone what they crave and need, not the thing that we really like giving.” [11:01]
“One of the greatest values that keeps a relationship going is teamwork, [...] We are a team in making each other as happy as possible. [21:03]
“To ignore the regrets or to simply pass them off is to not take the lesson with you.” [29:50]
“Our life gets better in direct proportion to the number of difficult conversations we’re willing to have.” [30:45]
“If it’s the right relationship the difference is you come out of that [hard] conversation stronger as a unit, that to me defines the right relationship [32:43]
“If you’re on the receiving end of the wrong behavior, [...] I think that bringing your best to that moment is the greatest form of closure if the relationship ends.” [38:09]
“If you’re in a fight, someone has triggered your insecurities.” Tom Bilyeu [58:00]
“All of us guys who go out into our lives with this kind of alpha energy, putting on a front and being a certain thing with all of our friends are so stripped bare by those arguments.” [59:22]
“With the person you’re with, understand that it is as hard for them to shake that thing that you don’t like that they do, as it is for you to shake that thing in you that you’ve spent your whole life trying to stop doing [1:09:42]
“You have to have a really difficult conversation with yourself and say, ‘how essential is this to my being?’ [...] you have to have a plan B that becomes your plan A.” [1:23:38]
“..date to date, fall in love to fall in love, so that they can experience a relationship organically instead of going with this enormous insecurity from the very beginning.” [1:27:20]
“There will be a regret either way, but which is the more powerful? It forces really honest questions, and they are questions that most of us want to hide until the last possible minute.” [1:32:57]
Follow Matthew Hussey:
Website: www.howtogettheguy.com/
RU-vid: / gettheguyteam
Instagram: / thematthewhussey
Facebook: / coachmatthewhussey

Опубликовано:

 

15 июн 2024

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Комментарии : 508   
@TomBilyeu
@TomBilyeu Год назад
What was your favorite takeaway from Matthew?
@dkm6054
@dkm6054 Год назад
Damn to b honest my favorite takeaways were the biological truth bombs from Tom
@miljanaplamenac1284
@miljanaplamenac1284 Год назад
"Our life gets better in direct proportion to the number of difficult conversations we are willing to have." He nailed that one. Also your concept of the 'keys to the kingdom'.
@Tiffairy1
@Tiffairy1 Год назад
Thank you Tom for sharing your thoughts with Mathew and being so present. Loved that you asked necessary questions💜 and Matthew and you are great, it was like watching two best friends talking! 🤝
@charlielawson2001
@charlielawson2001 Год назад
I appreciate all the insight but I really resonated with the parts about giving your partner exactly what they are asking for rather than the things that feel good to give for yourself. And building that “emotional bank” to “withdraw” from when it’s time for improvement or change. Very pertinent in my life right now. I wish everyone the best
@karlinda84
@karlinda84 Год назад
For me it was the outcome from both of your perspectives together. You simplified many times during the interview topics that are hard to grasp. I've heard many times that I am responsible for my emotions, and while it makes sense it's hard to remember at the time I'm experiencing them, but it's as simple as you said it with the "cup of tea" example: is this really about tea? Or is there something I need to address that I haven't? To me that's a good reminder next time I'm struggling with my emotions. On the kids topic, I would be curious to learn why is legacy so important for some people. I find the idea of having kids to continue a legacy a bit narcissistic, and egocentric, also a burden on the kid for the expectations on him/her...
@lwontherez7927
@lwontherez7927 Год назад
There’s another common sentiment; it goes, “Few people, on their death beds, say, ‘I wish i’d have spent more time at the office/at my business.’ But MANY people, on their death beds, say, ‘I wish I’d have spent more time with my family’.”
@thematthewhussey
@thematthewhussey Год назад
Thanks so much for having me on Tom. Was such a pleasure spending time with you and a conversation I absolutely loved. Thank you to everyone watching for your comments. I learn an enormous amount from Tom and his guests too so I’m proud to be here with you all.
@reidarmor
@reidarmor Год назад
20 minutes in and I’m an instant fan! Great convo guys, thank you
@paulheart3593
@paulheart3593 Год назад
Talking about yourself @MatthewHussey seems to be something your really good at 😒
@radrazor1355
@radrazor1355 Год назад
You nailed it Matthew and Tom, why people regret having children is their life completely changes. People are looking for fulfillment via raising a child yet most aren't prepared for the mayhem it will cause initially; plus I believe all the unremedied trauma received as a child hinders this process too, causing many a parent to fret and believe they are unworthy of having kids. I have been trying to truly explain this to myself before trying to explain it to people. I am absolutely grateful I have children, but some days I hate being a parent lol. Children are the greatest blessing I would never wish on anyone hahahaha!! Thank you for this episode btw, I am dealing with some heaviness in my marriage right now and this has given me a few insights to move with.
@ClarissaNabulime
@ClarissaNabulime Год назад
And your insights are very much jaw dropping and inspirational yet liberating!! The bit where there's major question marks about regrets, the redflags, which has always puzzled me and what you'd choose to do and be glad you actually did..were the real majors..il watch this interview again and again for deeper lessons! Thank you!
@Fixer934
@Fixer934 Год назад
Thank you Matt for the great session.
@ligiasommers
@ligiasommers Год назад
I have 4 adopted children and the part of the day that makes me more fulfilled is making someone else’s day better . Spreading my DNA was never a driver . Making a difference is 🙏🏻✨🌹
@karadiberlino
@karadiberlino Год назад
💯❤️❤️❤️
@hpulker
@hpulker Год назад
I think you are saying that bc you cannot have your own children. Would you still say the same thing if you could? hmm nope
@ligiasommers
@ligiasommers Год назад
@@hpulker sorry to hear you talking about my life . Yes , I could have children !! I am very happy with what Life gave me . I have wonderful, loving , successful, caring children. Hope and pray you do too 🙏🏻
@LilyOfTheTower
@LilyOfTheTower Год назад
I too love to help others but i couldn't ignore my calling to have my own children. I work with disadvantage elementary children with learning to read and basic life skills. I have two intelligent, caring and successful children that share my DNA. Maybe you shouldnt look down on others that chose what their heart desires.
@catherinenewman6516
@catherinenewman6516 Год назад
Is Matthew related to lady susan
@electricmariposa
@electricmariposa Год назад
It’s so refreshing to see two strong men having a vulnerable conversation about relationships ❤️ thank you for this!
@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool
@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool 5 месяцев назад
@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool
@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool 5 месяцев назад
I really like your username!
@kayligo
@kayligo Год назад
1) growth 2) keep trying 3) listen to your partners needs
@jzen1455
@jzen1455 Год назад
Because every guy is one right swipe away from being n'ext for one small slip up on "dick on demand" apps like Tinder.
@jzen1455
@jzen1455 Год назад
Put your own woman's needs above your own in reality. Yeah there's going to be some compromises, but overall, the guy must make more sacrifices for the women to remain in the relationship.
@shaydeArtell
@shaydeArtell Год назад
@@jzen1455 how does a man make more sacrifices?
@supernatural2762
@supernatural2762 Год назад
@@jzen1455 🤣🤣nonsense
@martenkrueger8647
@martenkrueger8647 Год назад
Questions? listen too her?needs or listen too her wants! ....what if her needs are self destructive....for her, for him...or both?... Is she expected too listen , and help him with his needs?
@EstrellaO-2023
@EstrellaO-2023 Год назад
It's called: not taking someone for granted
@genesedadzie236
@genesedadzie236 Год назад
One of the takeaways that I relate to most is when he talks about giving your partner the keys to the kingdom and how revealing it is when they are not willing to adjust. I was married to someone who has bipolar disorder and within our 6yrs of marriage there would be screaming arguments and name calling that would have me in tears often. I went to a psychiatrist to get help for the issues I brought to the table, but when I asked my husband to go get help for his disorder, he told me no and that he liked being that way. After 6 yrs of being on an emotional roller coaster, that was the last straw for me and I’ve been consistently happier since. And now I know what to look for (and how to ask for what I need) before getting married again.
@gogoasainfuriata762
@gogoasainfuriata762 Год назад
That's exactly what I've said to myself. But after three years when we could finally get to live together, everything has changed. Also I realised that some things I just couldn't see or just ignored believing that everything it's just perfect and I'm the crazy one. Now my 13yo and I are stuck in this life that I can't do anything about, crying all the time feeling guilty for creating this life.
@ginarenee1625
@ginarenee1625 3 месяца назад
This comment fits my life currently. My several year relationship ended for good yesterday. During our talk when he picked up his things, I told him that everyone is striving to improve and grow. Not only me. He said “not me. I’m just (insert male name). I’m just doing me.”
@SaltedHope
@SaltedHope Год назад
I've listened to many, many podcasts on relationship advice, but this might be the best and most relatable one I've ever listened to. In my case, it's a little too late for me and my partner but it helps on so many levels whenever i move into another relationship, a very long time from now. Thank you.
@iamjillcollins
@iamjillcollins 6 месяцев назад
I couldn’t agree more! I’ve shared this video to so many people! As a relationships coach myself, this is my go to video! ❤
@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool
@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool 5 месяцев назад
i hope you are in another loving relationship now 1 year later or have done some great healing work on yourself ❤
@SaltedHope
@SaltedHope 4 месяца назад
@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool Thank you for that. I decided not to date at all during 2023, and it was a wonderful time to focus on God and myself. I'll start dating after Easter this year and now I have a better mind and heart for something serious, although I'm now feeling called to religious life as a nun if marriage isn't meant for me. 💒🙏
@tomdrummy4984
@tomdrummy4984 Год назад
“It goes both ways” is the best thing he said. Both people need to put an effort in.
@Mrktlarsen
@Mrktlarsen Год назад
*Rule #1* - Don't be desperate to be in a relationship, because this will weed out the people who are actually desperate and can't stay single for two seconds. Those are the relationships that never last and are a complete waste of time.
@lpsglitterpaws8536
@lpsglitterpaws8536 Год назад
I did not start out a Matthew Hussey fan but this interview has changed my mind. He demonstrated authenticity that I didn’t see on his own channel but it was definitely evident here. Thank you both for your excellence!
@louiethemouseful
@louiethemouseful Год назад
MH is the best
@RealTalk-mq2ug
@RealTalk-mq2ug Год назад
I think, for the very first time in my life, at 43 years old, I UNDERSTAND there's a difference between LOVE and DESIRE. Desire requires: 1. Strengths: flirty, confident, cute, funny, sexy, wholesome. 2. Fearlessness. I have confidence in my coping if you hurt me, and I have the power to hurt you too. So let’s not hurt each other. 3. Here’s what I love about my body. I’m going to focus on accentuating what I have. Love requires: 1) Connection. 2) Compatibility. 3) Chemistry.
@ginarenee1625
@ginarenee1625 3 месяца назад
I would add Love requires communication. (Even if nonverbal)
@RobertoRiosbiz
@RobertoRiosbiz 9 месяцев назад
I seen Matthew being interviewed by so many other people, but this interview is my favorite one . Your personal stories turned it into a whole different experience . I feel like I learned just as much about relationships from you as I did from him. Thanks so much for being you.
@user-ct9ve2rp8j
@user-ct9ve2rp8j 10 месяцев назад
I can’t express sufficiently how much Tom’s vulnerability and Matt’s compassionate insight have opened my awareness and perspective to be a more evolved primate. ❤
@christyhall1419
@christyhall1419 11 месяцев назад
Just celebrated my 31st wedding anniversary last night and listening to this podcast learned more than I thought I might. Loved the tea story and agree that you’re never just arguing over the superficial things. It’s something deeper involving a “story” you’re telling yourself in the moment. Be willing to share that story with your partner and who knows what might get healed.
@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool
@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool 5 месяцев назад
this is super duper late but congrats on your 31 year anniversary!! ❤
@ricksato3178
@ricksato3178 Год назад
Great, great discussion. I would add.... having children gave me my absolute anchor - my true north. Everything outside my kids - business, marriage, my own ambition... is flexible and malleable. The hardest thing ever, is to be a parent. The challenge is only rewarding if you truly value interpersonal development. Parenthood is not tied to legacy. That is really a fallacy. Over time, growing with your children reveals the extent of what it is to be human. You learn this by guiding another human from their infancy. Tom, your curiosity is admirable. Don't be resistant to experience it in its most visceral and primal essence. :)
@sayusayme7729
@sayusayme7729 Год назад
Going through this with my adult son, seeing past the traumas. Thank you 💚
@engageyou
@engageyou Год назад
Tom, I believe your memory issues may be related to ADHD. Look into it. Lots of people suffer from the memory issues you two talk about in this podcast, it’s really very common in high achievers and if your brain scans are coming up ‘normal’, I would look into this for sure. This information completely changed the way I look at my memory issues. I would bet there’s a connection with your anxiety as well. Hope it helps! Love your energy and passion btw, reminiscent of ADHD too, lol;) it also accounts for difficulty in metabolizing emotions, anger issues, rejection sensitivity and ‘laziness’. Which is not actually laziness but your frontal lobe is ‘offline’, so to speak and you need ‘pressure’ of a deadline to motivate. These are the lesser known traits of ADHD. I would almost bet money you have this! Keep up the good work! In solidarity🤝
@kell4576
@kell4576 6 месяцев назад
If you research MTHFR, ADHD-ADD are correlated by this genetic mutation at 1298C. One has to stay away from anti inflammatory foods and take methylated B vitamins because your body does not methylate (lacking enzymes at cryptical points to detox… Complex process). You’re at 60% capacity whereas one workout is 100%. Western med Will dismiss because meds are $$$$$. Higher healthy fats and Whole Foods incorporating gut health - organic, etc., Other ailments as well. Check it out. There’s an expert on the topic. I believe his name is Dr Ben if I’m not mistaken.
@kell4576
@kell4576 6 месяцев назад
Correction - eat anti inflammatory foods.
@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool
@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool 5 месяцев назад
great share, something to consider
@Themis33
@Themis33 Год назад
I'm never having another relationship. I've resigned from the whole thing. At 37. Done. #livingmybestsinglelifeforever 😌
@deethralane3481
@deethralane3481 3 месяца назад
Wow
@rubin-healmysocialanxiety702
“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” -Rumi You are worthy friends ❤
@sunflower-oo1ff
@sunflower-oo1ff Год назад
Ah...yes, I can so relate to this thank u . ;)
@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool
@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool 5 месяцев назад
amazing quote ❤
@mattanderson6672
@mattanderson6672 Год назад
This entire interview is pure GOLD!! So much brilliant advice!!
@shaynalee
@shaynalee Год назад
I had the same argument with my now ex BF. But I was also in Toms position of being the bread winner and supporting us both. He wanted to wake up early and get to the hotel and rest. I was sleep deprived and exhausted in every aspect physically, emotionally, intellectually etc and was looking forward to sleeping in so I could have a good vacation when we got there. We had a massive argument the morning we were to leave and didn’t arrive till even later than if I had slept in. I felt taken for granted and resentful that he was trying to negotiate my sleep with me. His thinking was to get there early and then I could relax. My thinking was I needed sleep to function!! And since I was paying for everything on top of that, I didn’t think it wasn’t too much to ask for. I felt that he wanted to get there earlier for himself rather than for me.
@citizen3079
@citizen3079 Год назад
He sounds passive aggressive
@JP-ll8iy
@JP-ll8iy Год назад
Phew!! Glad he is an Ex BF!! But Don’t be the bread winner for “boyfriends” unless you two are married with children and your common goals are aligned for this type of set up.
@JP-ll8iy
@JP-ll8iy Год назад
@@citizen3079 he sounds like a mommy’s boy!
@LadyMarigoldWithers
@LadyMarigoldWithers 9 месяцев назад
Nothing interferes with that first lay-in when I have time off work 😂👍, it’s such a shame he made it into an issue instead of realising you needed a decent rest (especially as you’re doing ALL the heavy lifting financially). My ex-boyfriend in my twenties decided to start our holiday by refusing to help carry my suitcase up the stairs at the train station saying it was my fault I’d packed too much (bearing in mind that I was happy to wheel it everywhere but just needed a hand up 2 large flights of stairs). He literally stood at the top of the stairs waiting, an older man passing offered to help take one end and gave my ex the filthiest look when we got to the top. I was mortified that I was with him. Of course he still expected sex when we got there (nope!) and we broke up the next day. Fortunately we were in a group so could do our own thing separately and he didn’t wait a day before he was hitting on other women in front of me. What a gent 😂
@Davisthewonderdog
@Davisthewonderdog 9 месяцев назад
Remembering occasions is an easy fix...put it on your calender ! A month ahead 2 weeks ahead one week ahead 2 days ahead the day of. Dumping it on her, IS showing YOU are choosing to abdicate YOUR personal responsibility. You have a phone , it has an alarm ⏰, use it. No excuses... Make it important, don't push that off onto another. If you push it off on her, you ARE saying, it isn't important to YOU ! It isn't about memory...it is about PRIORITY !
@maxdexter2690
@maxdexter2690 Год назад
Jez this guy! I trained with this guy in London and look at him now. Mind blowingly charismatic guy, he is like a talking sculpture really. Which I feel is a pretty big compliment from a guy to a guy. Incredible and wish him all the success in the world.
@loveconquersall315
@loveconquersall315 Год назад
Tom, you and Lisa are so committed to each-other, so evolved, so considerate. If you ever decided to have or adopt a child, they would be so damn lucky to be able to live in such a healthy, loving environment with parents who are so dedicated to working on themselves and on their marriage. Such a beautiful thing to see. The respect you have for one another is so evident. Thank you for sharing such personal information. Such a HUGE gift to the world, your stories and experiences are so relatable! This conversation is relationship GOLD. ALL OF YOUR RELATIONSHIPS! I had to go back and take notes! Everything you both said is right on target and so incredibly powerful. I can totally relate to the “keys for the kingdom!”You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours kind of a thing… 😉 Actually more like… I’ll scratch your back and then (if you love me), you will hopefully WANT to scratch mine too…🥰 Thank you both so much for such an honest, genuine and extremely helpful conversation!!🙏🏻💋
@jaykaye562
@jaykaye562 Год назад
SUCH An Interesting chat. Quite different to the other MH interviews I’ve seen over the years. Nice to simply hear two guys pass their views on this subject. Thank you both
@esraaabd-allah1626
@esraaabd-allah1626 Год назад
A fascinating, full of insights, and very deep discussion that speaks to the heart. Matthew's insights dedicately touch on very complicated parts taking the heaviness away. Even their styles conversing with each other are full of meaning. Thank you both.!
@elskar1
@elskar1 Год назад
I think the best team work and working with helping each other is best based on knowing what each other’s boundaries are and then putting forth your request, knowing that it won’t be asking them to not be in alignment with their values and boundaries
@serialmigrant
@serialmigrant 9 месяцев назад
Choosing your regret is a framework Ive used numerous times when faced with a tough life decision. I use the question "would I rather". "Would i rather have kids, even if alone" or "would i rather be in a greay relationship with no kids, and be the great aunt"
@KFossetta
@KFossetta Год назад
This channel is helping me see the things I am struggling to see. I have such a hard time communicating in the relationship. I came from a history where I don't have any positive relationship examples. I would rather hide behind my anger and walk away from facing and overcoming conflict. When I heard Tom say he stopped the car...that is my boyfriend. He is always the one to stop me in my anger and get me to talk about things. He tells me I should come to him when I am angry, but when I am in that anger I am a whole different person in mental survival ready to do whatever it takes to protect myself. Through this man's patience and masculine energy I have had to face and deal with my insecurities and traumas. Painful, scary but I am grateful he has never let me go. Thanks guys
@sayusayme7729
@sayusayme7729 Год назад
Beautiful 🤍
@gogoasainfuriata762
@gogoasainfuriata762 Год назад
You're so lucky having someone you can talk to and who is actually listening to whatever you hav to say.
@amandalumley3349
@amandalumley3349 Год назад
Love the honesty in this from both of you
@user-dx6pj2ni5f
@user-dx6pj2ni5f Год назад
Not that this is incredibly vurnalable, intimate, open episode but what I love and always have loved about Tom, that he listens, he sits there and actually listens and lets other person talk!
@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool
@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool 5 месяцев назад
agreed! it's a great skill that not a lot of interviewers have!
@imaurice
@imaurice Год назад
Thank you so much for this talk, it’s awesome.
@williamsandbach4058
@williamsandbach4058 7 месяцев назад
I really appreciated Matthew's insight- especially the story of the sleepover with his brothers and the idea of using a memory like that as a pattern breaker. Also how when we are triggered and are in "a state" and can't let go of it- for her to realize I'm not pushing her away, I'm actually desperate for her to love me in this moment, instead of reacting or withdrawing from me. Such an incredible interview with so much incredible relationship wisdom. Thanks
@gwenchomp354
@gwenchomp354 Год назад
Daneil Radcliffe knows his stuff!
@niencarlijn
@niencarlijn Год назад
It’s been a while that i was this invested in a video. But this was so interesting, thanks so much!
@mikestaub
@mikestaub Год назад
This is an incredibly useful conversation.
@Sonia-zq9ek
@Sonia-zq9ek Год назад
It’s always so useful listening to Matthew’s reasonings and insights! Thanks for this wonderful interview 😊
@NathalieLazo
@NathalieLazo Год назад
Yes always so great! 💯😊💜
@alphonsos7307
@alphonsos7307 Год назад
The things I have the hardest time dealing with in relationships is I don't want to pretend to be something that I am not.im struggling with that right now in a relationship that is falling apart right now.but I'm not willing to pretend to be something that I'm not to stay in this relationship.she outgoing but I'm the more silent type that is not as outgoing.so I will put my trust in God to help me work this out or just move on
@briantxcattleskull2752
@briantxcattleskull2752 Год назад
Very good talk… huge eye opener for me, thank you gentlemen. I’m more prepared now.
@caliblue2
@caliblue2 Год назад
I’ve been a full-time mom for 40 years. The biggest reason people regret having children is the society that divides families By devaluing the family unit, separating children from their parents 10 hours a day in schools where they learn to answer to teachers and peers more than parents. Children learn that their value is conditional based on performance and they turn to drugs and sex at Young ages and drag their parents through nine kinds of hell. That’s why parents regret having children.
@Vani-Fletcher
@Vani-Fletcher Год назад
That’s so sad. Our society isn’t designed for families but we as humans were designed for families otherwise we go extinct. If we are creative we can have successful families. Maybe homeschool isn’t possible, but Montessori might be a good option. I have 2 teenagers and they are both virgins and drug free and have no desire to spoil themselves that way. I have been honest with them about everything and never tried to hide anything if they were curious or had questions. I also made sure to expose them to people of all walks of life. I didn’t think that sheltering them from things I didn’t want for them was the best way to protect them. At the same time I was the one exposing them-from a biblical perspective-they weren’t being exposed by the ones trying to indoctrinate them into any of those ways.
@SA-yh1ku
@SA-yh1ku Год назад
Matthew you are such a brilliant person , you have such deep understanding of the complexity of human phycology & explain it in most dimple way . I wish we had millions copy of you ! I really loved this conversation and thank you Tom for creating this contents for people out there… The analogy of having enough credits in the bank is really really important in relationships & the way of other person handling our insecurity is huge concept…. To either heal or get worse …
@kindedge
@kindedge Год назад
So much love here. This is THE thing. ❤️
@dr.slavashut
@dr.slavashut Год назад
Great interview! You guys are giving out gold
@reneeemanuel8782
@reneeemanuel8782 Год назад
This content is so good. Thank you!
@DJMilez
@DJMilez Год назад
Thank you for sharing this. This episode was without a doubt a huge game changer in my life following a recent breakup.
@DEEP_PRACTICE
@DEEP_PRACTICE 4 месяца назад
This discussion is full of so many amazing practical insights, thank-you both🙏
@mattanderson6672
@mattanderson6672 Год назад
Thank you so much for this
@zolaoya
@zolaoya Год назад
This was awesome. Thank you guys for being so vulnerable and sharing.
@sidra5512
@sidra5512 Год назад
Their answers for having children or not having children are so convoluted ! Like they went in tangents that made no sense …
@alladubrovinsky7571
@alladubrovinsky7571 Год назад
I agree
@Maximum_Cheese23
@Maximum_Cheese23 Год назад
My favorite part of this conversation is when they're talking about kids, and Matthew brings up Jordan Peterson's view on having kids. The reason: he's really striving and wrestling with an idea it's clear he hasn't established "language" for. It's, for lack of better terms, a new concept, and both of them really show authenticity in wrestling with those memetic ideas (on both sides).
@selfhelpchampion9664
@selfhelpchampion9664 Год назад
Freedom and love go together. Love is not a reaction. If I love you because you love me, that is mere trade, a thing to be bought in the market; it is not love. To love is not to ask anything in return, not even to feel that you are giving something - and it is only such love that can know freedom. J Krishnamurthy
@Bruno_OM
@Bruno_OM Год назад
M͛o͛r͛e͛ UPDATE o͛n͛ N͛F͛T͛s͛,BTC W͛h͛a͛t͛s͛a͛p͛p✙𝟷𝟾𝟶𝟹𝟸𝟷𝟸𝟿𝟻𝟻𝟾 M͛o͛r͛e͛ UPDATE o͛n͛ XRP ,N͛F͛T͛s͛,BTC 📊 👆 👆👆👆👆
@JohnnyArtPavlou
@JohnnyArtPavlou Год назад
Yes… That’s quite beautiful… And a relationship… A committed relationship… Is a dynamic exchange of energies. As human beings we love people… We fall in love and that’s a drug reaction in the brain… It’s beautiful… And when that fades… Another kind of love comes in in a relationship can deepen over the years and that’s beautiful. but you can’t say that at the same time you’re not building up some kind of expectation of reciprocity or very least partnership. That each member of the couple is investing the relationship with energy and devotion and faithfulness and truly giving of oneself. That’s just a natural fact. We can have other people in our lives who we love without conditions… But inside of a relationship it is natural to have expectations and attachments and these all must be dealt with… And looked at… And worked with… And worked through.
@mariabeckwith3336
@mariabeckwith3336 Год назад
One of the best exchanges on relationships and believe me I've listened to 1000s. 😆
@lilamnbdh967
@lilamnbdh967 Год назад
Interesting episode , thank you so much Tom🙏😘 .
@lynnbutler2826
@lynnbutler2826 Год назад
This was s fantastic discussion!
@samanthaallen9986
@samanthaallen9986 9 месяцев назад
Thank you both for giving women a taste of what a healthy relationship looks like with a man who is emotional intelligent. Unfortunately my 25 year marriage is coming to an end, but I have hope that there are others that have the same mindset as both of you. Thank you
@christophercooper476
@christophercooper476 8 месяцев назад
There are
@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool
@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool 5 месяцев назад
I am wishing you the best on your next chapter of life ❤
@culpepperly
@culpepperly Год назад
Such a balanced interview! Great examples, real truths (especially about being a mind reader), and incredibly interesting. It's not often that two men would sit down to have this conversation so that makes it that much more intriguing. Thanks Tom! Thanks Matt!
@sneaky_af
@sneaky_af 8 месяцев назад
wow that was deep. listening and giving what they need and want from you and not what you want to give.
@kishanirajendra7689
@kishanirajendra7689 Год назад
Solid all around! It’s comforting to hear you speak and see you being so vulnerable! Two humble powerhouses! Thank you!
@funkychickenmetaverse
@funkychickenmetaverse Год назад
Great episode 🙏🏻
@laurabatton7079
@laurabatton7079 Год назад
Loved this😍 Got pulled under! Up late watching! Have Tom as a guest on Love life Matthew Hussey!!😍
@yolandastahl6266
@yolandastahl6266 Год назад
Thank you both!
@marimon6554
@marimon6554 Год назад
Amazing conversation! Tom you never cease to amaze me! Gifted in interpersonal and intrapersonal skills!
@leolady8114
@leolady8114 Год назад
Absolutely awesome guys!!! Beautiful!!!
@chris.harley
@chris.harley Год назад
Interesting question right off the bat. Well done Tom!
@adao5308
@adao5308 Год назад
Damn! This was such a banger. Thanks Matt and Tom!
@miljanaplamenac1284
@miljanaplamenac1284 Год назад
Loved your workshop on Iron-Clad self discipline, as well as previous mindset 101 workshops. Transformative! Great job :)
@livingdiystyle
@livingdiystyle Год назад
Awesome conversation. Thank you for sharing. Tons of wisdom to tap into here from both of you.
@rubin-healmysocialanxiety702
Agreed, a ton of wisdom 🙌
@JayKay-zt2bo
@JayKay-zt2bo Год назад
omg sobbing brains out over cuppa tea THANK YOU
@nyoracl
@nyoracl Год назад
That women need to be honest and courageous enough to own their choices - they can't hang their burden about biological clock on the man. I chose my freedom dating two men simultaneously, they both knew, and I gave each a child. It wasn't the best for the children to not have a two cisgender parent family in one home but the men didn't use condoms and half wanted to know what could have been if they turned around at 50yo and had this grown child. The financial, physical and emotional toll on me was incredible and this isn't a lifestyle choice just any woman can make. You'll have to be sufficiently competent in personal and business, highly confident and adequately abundant in your ability to manifest otherwise you might lose out on the mothering experience if you still have to go back to a full time job. Children and the SAHM lifestyle requires a lot of physical energy and bandwidth and without a refined mature masculine man around a woman has no place to recharge and stabilise and give her fullest presence and joy to the children. Children don't understand why their father chose to be absent no matter how hard we try. I know my sons will heal as adults, most of us have to take responsibility for pain we didn't cause. It was selfish of me to do Me and have My Experience and my choice of regret. But if I had a man that was worth my love I wouldn't have had children because I want to cater to my man instead. In my situation I had men who were sufficiently adequate to be able to cause attraction and communication. But I didn't meet a man who was worth my heart and soul. I was on the clock tick tock tick tock, no fish take prawns. For people who are wondering whether having children is a must have experience - the answer is NO. You could get that growth or experience from other choices. What you'll need to contend with is whether it's a regret you can swallow when you choose. It's nothing to do with the absolute value of having children. I'm now in a new relationship where I don't need another child because I want to focus on the man and my own achievements and there's not enough bandwidth to give to a child.
@Neil-Daimond
@Neil-Daimond 2 месяца назад
Yep, the cup of tea story says so much. Good man, cheers.
@travdaddy11
@travdaddy11 Год назад
This is excellent. Thank you for this content! I needed to hear all of this.
@rubin-healmysocialanxiety702
Agreed, very powerful conversation!
@miabrownpaden5365
@miabrownpaden5365 10 месяцев назад
All of this information is priceless...just wish I heard it when I was younger in the relationship
@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool
@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool 5 месяцев назад
better late than never! I hope things are going well for you now ❤
@olenolen6910
@olenolen6910 Год назад
Unfortunately, this podcast came to me two days late. Still a beautiful work, thank you.
@zj7166
@zj7166 Год назад
My relationship is on the edge of breaking down due to a lack of independence in my social life and loss of independent self after moving in with my partner. I feel I communicated this but not clearly enough and that lack of social replacement of fun and new experiences with my partner hasn't filled that previous social gap of living in a big City with lots of friends nearby. This video hit the nail on the head for me in a number of areas. I'm a social being and she is less so, we're wondering if this is going to allow both of us to be happy in the long term.
@suttonfarms2343
@suttonfarms2343 7 месяцев назад
Minute 36-ish......yes, yes and yes. Love it. So insightful.
@Romantic_special-ASMR
@Romantic_special-ASMR Год назад
amazing, thank you my brother.
@Bruno_OM
@Bruno_OM Год назад
M͛o͛r͛e͛ UPDATE o͛n͛ N͛F͛T͛s͛,BTC W͛h͛a͛t͛s͛a͛p͛p✙𝟷𝟾𝟶𝟹𝟸𝟷𝟸𝟿𝟻𝟻𝟾 M͛o͛r͛e͛ UPDATE o͛n͛ XRP ,N͛F͛T͛s͛,BTC 📊 👆 👆👆👆👆
@foreveryoungg143
@foreveryoungg143 Год назад
I love the note to yourself part 🙌🏼 I should do that too!
@intention.adventure
@intention.adventure Год назад
I love that this conversation is longer than the usual 1 hour episodes!💗🙏🏽💪🏽
@renatak5680
@renatak5680 Год назад
Thank you so much for this absolutely amazing and intimate conversation. God bless you both.
@alainahall...
@alainahall... 7 месяцев назад
Love this!
@vaishalivaidya7978
@vaishalivaidya7978 Год назад
Its so apt that every relation more so the intimate/close ones will trigger us but its equally important to know if they also help heal us. Unfortunately or even fortunately for most of us we do not know our childhood wounds, quite consciously till we are in our mid 30's, 40's or 50's. And for others, who live in a culture where the longitivity of the relationship matters more than the true health of the relationship, most of us choose to remain stuck for the picture framework it provides us. I have even seen people unconsciously at times using their children to remain in unhealthy dynamics...and I will be honest enough here to say, I myself was one of those, till I began questioning my sanity and even my own existence, my child's existence, whom I love so so dearly. It's then that I took the decision of ending my marriage. I'd even like to add, it wasnt abusive but it wasnt sustainable for me and for my then husband. It like saying mushrooms are good source of protein so ppl should consume them, but what if someone is allergic to them? It doesnt work. I even had to take accountability on my part in that dynamic to be now able to change it into an equation, where we both are extended family members and function better as coparents...and that's not to say, to recourse that has been an easy transition. Relationships are investment in increments, they are work...maybe even hard work at times but they definitely shouldn't be back breaking, they rather should be unhealthy pattern breakers.
@vaishalivaidya7978
@vaishalivaidya7978 Год назад
Thank you Tom for bringing about these incredible conversations. Would love you to bring on Glennon Doyle, Martha Beck (whom I believe Lisa has had a conversation with), Andre Agassi, Brene Brown, Dr.Dick Schwartz and Galit Atlas.
@sonyagair1219
@sonyagair1219 9 месяцев назад
I see very lonely days ahead for those without kids. Yes, kids grow up and move out and have their own lives, but depending on your relationship with your kids, they will always be there and then grandkids. No where in any person's life will you receive the unconditional love as a child's love! ❤️ This comes from a single mother of 3 daughters. My twins are 27, and both getting married themselves.
@renatam1234
@renatam1234 Год назад
this video is amazing.
@catharinealexander89
@catharinealexander89 Год назад
This is one of the best interviews I've ever watched. Both incredibly insightful, honest, wise, and humble men talking about such an important topic. Well done! It made me appreciate my partnership even more, and I see so many new ways I can have an even better relationship moving forward. Thank you!! 🙏💙
@chillwinstonuk
@chillwinstonuk Год назад
Lads what you share about your memory. My word. Max respect ❤️🥁
@rachelhefner5595
@rachelhefner5595 Год назад
my husband and I have been married for 46 years.one time I got mad at him for something he did.we had so many fights then one day he said I'm tired of fighting and I said me to. he would always tell me to leave when he got mad. I got tired of hearing that so the next time he said that I said lm not leaving if anyone's leaving it's going to be you and he said I'm not leaving and we both looked at each other and started laughing. he never ask me to leave ever again. it was like we wiped the slate clean and started over. it was hard going through that we it made our marriage stronger 😃
@janronk6360
@janronk6360 3 месяца назад
People change overtime and so it’s always interesting to look for things they they develop an interest in that you can share and let them bring some interest to the table too
@monabur
@monabur 5 месяцев назад
Wow, I love this. If some women doubt that there are good men - look at these two ♡♡♡ sending love to you both:)
@AlyneMedium
@AlyneMedium Год назад
I’m a woman who didn’t want to have to make a choice between being a business woman and a mother. So I did both. Even though I didn’t have any support from anyone in my family, nor the father whom I had to leave because he wasn’t good for us. So I’m raising my son alone. I’m doing my business alone which I built around my son’s needs and mine. Do I regret having a kid? Absolutely not because my love for my son is stronger than the struggle that comes with having a kid and being an entrepreneur at the same time. I actually think I couldn’t have chosen a more difficult path for myself BUT would have I built that special business for me that fulfils me so much hadn’t I had a child? I don’t think so. Would have I discovered how strong, creative and resourceful I am without having my son? I don’t think so. The only regret I have is the bad judgment I’ve made regarding his father right from the start. I was wrong about him but not about my son. It was a REAL challenge but my son and I are such a great team and we won! Hopefully that will help someone out there 💋
@tiefblau2780
@tiefblau2780 Год назад
Its really odd isnt it nobody ask for you accomplishment but yet here you are, saying *I’m a woman who didn’t want to have to make a choice between being a business woman and a mother. So I did both.* Now that you said it how long did you Scratch that Itch till your Man went insane? Or did he not provide enough that you so choose *yourself* a solo life? I know, I know its less stress to live alone or with an off spring that is completely under you no doubt. But dont be crying your *Skunk* *tears* full of bull craps of stench when you are 40s and fighting the good fight that *Men* *Created* *Remember* You choose this, btw you are off the *Market* , I think you will know that soon enough.
@TropicalRedFlower
@TropicalRedFlower Год назад
I admire Mattews 🧠, ❤️ and charisma, however my favorite thing is to learn about is his business mind and social skills more than the dating advice, he's genius 😅
@rubin-healmysocialanxiety702
very charismatic for sure and if you notice it in others that means you have it within yourself 🙂
@hectorlugo655
@hectorlugo655 Год назад
great topic
@Respect2theFallen
@Respect2theFallen Год назад
"A relationship is an album" I like that
@ulisesswoft9435
@ulisesswoft9435 Год назад
Loved the show! Very interesting! In the part where they talk about modeling, do they mean "modeling with words/talks" or with "my own actions & examples"?
@01dees
@01dees Год назад
Grateful for this conversation especially the “tea story” . What a realization that the little things that tip you out to become angry is a trigger about our insecurities. If we can be keen in looking at it deeply and have a heart to heart talk w/ your partner, there’s nothing that we can’t fix and elevate our relationship to experience the best possible joy we can ever have in a relatiknship. Thank you for this conversation!!!
@Entrebatonsecafes
@Entrebatonsecafes Год назад
This is the most valuable interview I've already listen to. Thank you so much!
@ligiasommers
@ligiasommers Год назад
Matthew is so amazing that I would like to hear him for hours no end 🙏🏻✨🌹
@Teal_Seal
@Teal_Seal Год назад
Check out his channel - hours n hours of material 😄
@user-xc9ie1fm9f
@user-xc9ie1fm9f Год назад
except the life experiences of oneself, there's nothing in the world really belong to us, all the things that we seem to own, money, houses, career, relationships etc, even legally branded with our ownership by the regimes of the mundane world, we don't really own them, we own nothing except ourselves. Thus we should not seek happiness and peace from things we don't really own, from the external world that we can't control, nor from the people surrounding us over whom we have no right or power whatsoever. 不以物喜,不以己悲。 We have to learn to make happiness and love simply out from thin air, to be happy and peaceful simply because we feel like it, to be happy not because something good happened, but because nothing bad happened, like how the universe is made, something out of nothing.
@sunflower-oo1ff
@sunflower-oo1ff Год назад
Sweet👍🧡🕊
@stinkytofu5616
@stinkytofu5616 Год назад
My main takeaway... is somewhat of a relief knowing I'm not alone in being insanely insecure about my memory!
@christycraigmusic
@christycraigmusic 7 месяцев назад
I have a horrible horrible memory too…… very stressful. Mind can just go blank. Bothersome as well ! Thank you for sharing your vulnerability ….
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