@@19nightsky91 talking about things is the first steps towards resolutions. Like the mother said there always gunna be trauma there and if you repress and don’t talk about it it blows up.
@@kobycorunna5397 it's all talk. Notice how when the daughter told her mother she felt unseen the mother didn't even digest it for 5 seconds before she deflected blame back to the daughter
@@19nightsky91 hey this is me and my mumma, it definitely isn’t all talk… we have come so so far and although we can still trigger each other (which is super normal bc we are human!) she will always lovingly support me and be there for me. Her acknowledging how difficult it was for me during the divorce is HUGE and I’ll I’ve ever wanted to hear from her. A lot of healing did occur through this process ❤️
I’m going to give the mom props, I can tell she does have a temper but she took what her kid was saying to heart, no matter how hard the blow was. While I don’t know the mom, I think the conversation really helped her to self reflect 🥰
I literally did not see that, seemed like they had a LOT of tension. She didn't even let Jamie finish her sentence when she spoke about something that she's bad at.
1:30 another example of her being unheard (she expressed how she felt and her mom turned it around and made it about her, while saying the daughter was at fault as well). I definitely feel the same with my mom :/
But when the mother later expressed she felt disregarded/ dismissed, the daughter says she doesn't like phone calls. The daughter also flipped it without accepting fault.
@@kelendriaisaac I think there's a difference between actively engaging in a conversation with someone and not acknowledging them versus not engaging in a conversation at a specific time, but that's just me. Everyone has times they are and aren't in the headspace to talk/aren't willing to talk/or don't have the capacity to talk, but I do think that's distinct than choosing to talk and not listening or hearing others
@@luvu4eva16I understand but the argument can be made that the mother wasn't in that headspace to talk/ acknowledge when the daughter felt she wasn't being heard. The same way the daughter wasn't in the headspace to talk when the mother called her. My overall point is it's easier to see the fault in others actions and while it may be justified we also need to pay attention to our own.
@@kelendriaisaac It could, and I see and respect your point, I just don't agree with it in this situation. The mother choose to engage in the conversation--which entails communication, whereas the daughter acknowledged and communicated to her mother that she could not offer her that at the time. I just don't think it's the same.
@@kelendriaisaac she said she didn't like phone calls and expressed that, her mum doesn't accept said boundary and calls anyway. Then when she mentions her friends like to message first she mocks her? I don't see the daughter at fault here at all.
Daughter: "I don't feel heard in this relationship" Mother: "But that goes bothways. You can always come and ask me anything. There's lots of things happening in my life." Mom straightout proving her daughters complaint.
My mom would cry and feel so bad if i bring something up that had hurt me or i don't like about her. She would feel so awful and i don't what it to! So i would not be as honest and open as the two in der video lol!
FYI guys I ALWAYS pick up the phone when my mum calls. The point that she made is that she calls me when I’m tired and feels like I’m not excited to speak to her. It’s because I always answer the phone no matter how I am feeling. My suggestion of her to text me first is so I can make sure I am in a good mood to speak so she doesn’t get me when I’m grumpy. Boundary setting comes from love.
You did awesome! you could see the difference in generation and you really talked from the heart. When you talked about being seen and your mum interrupted you I felt my heart sink. But later on in the video you could see she has really tried to move things around and the apology was very nice and necessary from my perspective.
Exactly. My parents have always done that because they know I hate the phone. It makes me like the phone now that it's less invasive. And you know what, I never said to anyone that I hated my parents and never even thought that
I have a similar relationship with my mom and it’s all about communication, understanding, and growing together. I envy this mom apologizing to her daughter the way she did though. That’s awesome!
i feel like this one would be most similar to my own mother and me, there's differences in opinion because of how we grew up, but the thing with the phone call made me laugh "i have to make an appointment to call my daughter" no mom, im setting a boundary because i can't be available to you at your beck and call as i have my own schedule, feelings, stresses, etc.
This is nice to see. Although they have their issues they still communicate. Everyone has issues. And every relationship. We’re humans. So different from my family. There’s NO communication whatsoever. It’s all simple surface stuff. My god, my mother will breakdown if I simply ask her to please use 2 paper towels for a tiny spill rather than 10. Forget talking about any real issues from the past. Or real current issues. And my relationship with my 5 siblings isn’t much deeper. There’s always that bit of distrust when talking to them. Like they’re always judging and going to talk sht about it to another sibling. Anyway rambling over lol
"it goes both ways you don't reach out to me" why is this a parents defense? You're her PARENT, it's not a child's responsibility to check in on you in order to be checked in on as your CHILD. She's definitely got some narcassitic mum vibes
I don't want to judge either of them based on a 5 minute video, but I agree with you. A parent is a parent, not a friend. A parent shouldn't be expecting their kid to do things that are their responsibility, like taking care of their emotions and stuff. And when someone is telling you they felt invalidated ,..it's best to introspect and apologize and amend instead of being defensive..it nullifies the purpose of conversation otherwise
@@HermelJaworski Ehhh... it depends what you consider respectful. There were a lot of dismissive and passive aggressive comments mixed in here that as someone with CPTSD and past childhood trauma definitely struck a nerve in me. They sounded exactly how my abusive mother spoke to me.
This was very refreshing and soothing to watch. If my mom and I did this game, it would most likely end in a screaming match followed by ignoring me for a couple of days. My mom is defensive and can’t handle any sort of criticism. She takes everything as a personal attack. So glad to witness a open,honest, safe and loving relationship between these 2
@@MyLittlePonyTheater you think? I only felt some defensiveness going on but, overall, didn’t feel any tension. What moments did you think have tension?
If me and my mother did this challenge it would end in a physical altercation believe it or not .. I actually love how open her mother was both of them actually.
I have never told my mom/dad/sister that I hate them out of anger or ignorance as a young kid. And I’m so glad that I’ve never made that mistake. Saying hate is so powerful and hurtful, especially saying it to the people I love most.
thank you for this one. been watching for years. this conversation is really important for people to see. mirrors to me that im not alone in my relationship with my mom as we've had such similar experiences and conversations. i think sometimes word for word the language has been the same on both sides 💞
We have been through a lot of trauma together... Our entire family has.. And yes we've all done a lot of work.. And the love that we all share is soo beautiful and we all feel truly blessed ❤️
This would be very similar to how this would go with my mom and I except this mother seems to be more open to hearing the truth rather than fully playing victim and pulling the “everyone hates me” card
Oooh man, the Holistic Pyschologist touches so many of these points presented in this video. The "have to make an appointment to call my doctor" comment while also making her daughter know she felt dismissed. Super interesting to see the obvious contradictions that I see very clearly with my mom since doing my own work and processing my childhood/relationships. Hope the daughter is able to continue setting those healthy boundaries that enable her to take care of herself while also being compassionate and kind to others from a filled bucket.
She said "have to make an appointment to call my daughter," probably an automatic response to being hurt by her daughter who with no hesitation dismissed her vulnerability over saying how she felt dismissed, and showed zero empathy for what her mom had opened up about, and turned it into actually the mom's fault. It's not necessarily a child's responsibility to be her mom's best friend and confidant, but I found the daughter's response really self serving.
@@zombiedietitian It IS NOT a child's responsibility to be her mother's best friend or confidant. I'm curious where you found she was dismissive or showed zero empathy?
@@zombiedietitian If you watched the video, there was a ton of tension between the two. The daughter brought up how she was an angry mother, and how she would cause huge fights over tiny problems when she was a kid. Additionally, the mother completely dismissed the daughter's comment about feeling like she's been unseen/unheard all her life by saying it's the daughter's fault for not taking initiative. I completely understand why the daughter is dismissive. It's up to the parents to build a good relationship with their kids, not the other way around. Kids don't ask to be born, and, for the most part, they start as blank slates. They're genetically wired to love their parents, too. If the child hates the parents, the parents probably did something horribly wrong.
I love how honest they are with each other. I can’t imagine not picking up the phone for my mother because she didn’t text me first 😩. If I miss my mothers call. I call her back immediately 🥰
i kinda understand her pov tho, because i got anxiety and the ringtone can easily triggered my anxiety. there must be a reason when people say they are not comfortable of things and we should try to understand the reason behind of it.
@@hansandika I didn’t say anything rude or disrespectful about the relationship she has with her mother. I just wanted to share about the relationship I have with my mother, so I did. My siblings and I speak to our parents every day. If they don’t hear from us before they go to bed. They call to make sure we are okay.
@@confiancenonun hmm no one judging you being rude or disrespectful, i just state my pov that could relate to her?? which part of my sentence states you so?
God the mom is such a narcissist 😩 it’s so sad to see the relationship I have with my mom reciprocated in other people. I wish no one had to go through it.
Instead of hearing her daughter and making sure she felt heard and understood and then expressing her feelings, she straight pulled the “it’s a mutual thing” sooo annoying
I really want to do one of these with my mom/family. tho we love each other, too much goes unsaid and we've been thru a lot in the past years. getting it all out it a fun sweet way would be so nice
i relate 100% though and it was soooo nice to hear a stranger say what I've been feeling my whole life. I despise phone calls. I will literally look at the phone ring and then text them like com on you knowwwwwwww I ain't finna answer WHAT! hahaha
Wow that mum is dry. She definitely thinks of her daughter more of a distant sister. But no…. “This generation, I can’t accept phone calls unless you text first” ***rolling my eyes so hard it hurts***
She was clearly a toxic, angry mother. The daughter even talked about how she'd cause huge fights over tiny problems. There was a lot of tension between the two, I'd completely understand why the daughter wouldn't want to take random calls from her. Their relationship's probably been strained since she was a kid.
Only second question in and at the moment, i cant stand the mum. Daughter opens up and says she doesnt feel validated (in a simplest form of putting it) mum disregards what daughter says.. then doesnt take responsibility and turns it into both their problems. Then second question mum moans about daughter not being there... pot kettle love, she learnt that from you!
I completely understand about the phone calls. I highly value my space. I need it to keep my mind in a more peaceful space. I don’t even look at any texts or messages until I’ve had some time to myself after getting up. And I take time in the day to just put the phone away, no tv, and either sit outside and read a book, or work in the garden, or a bike ride. It’s important to step away from life for a bit.
I want to do this with my mom! This looks so much fun, shes dead but like.. i still want to! She wont say much but ill still take the shots for both of us
Meh, I see a lot of my mother in this mother so I was upset the whole video. A lot of disregarding and not wanting to compromise and adapt to their child who clearly needs it.
Welcome to therapy. Here's the booze, there's the camera. Prepare to be judged by a few hundred thousand people, some of which will let you know what they think about this glimpse of your situation. (Love this channel but the weirdness of it sometimes hits me. I still think it's a positive thing that might inspire people to have important/good conversations)
Yeah no, mother is proyecting her own trauma to the daughter and being very manipulative… damm poor girl, i hope she is not an only child… this moms are very toxic… my mom is exactly like this.
This is me and my mumma - she has done so much work to heal and mend her past traumas and our relationship is the best it’s ever been. She’s not toxic, just human ❤️ I’m the youngest of 3 daughters and we are all best friends because my mumma worked hard to keep us all close and loving x
@@jaime-leewilloughby7587 my mama don’t work shit. Thats why I said the toxic part. There is infinite outcomes to this situation… but this girl is still being manipulated
Why don't she space for a phone call from her mother? I don't care what I am doing. If my mom calls, I pick up. She will be the child jumping in the casket but had no time for her mom when she was here. If I was her mom, I would stop calling.
To all the teens that may read this, the towel on the floor situation or situations like that, that may seem tiny but a parent argues about it, thats because they are over asking nicely or doing it for you and they feel like your not listening or acknowledge the fact that after all these years that they have cleaned up after you, you still can't pick up your towel after being ask to do so multiple times.. So understand it's less about the towel being on the floor and more about respect
Respecting someone's space. That they've had a journey and just want to finally live in a nice home. That they were once a person, not just a mindless automaton that repeats themselves over and over and over. That they have cared for you for a long time and they would just like you to show care for them by hanging your own towel up.
uff, I've had the same problems with my mom and I wish she would really see me too. If only she would own up to her mistakes like the mom in the video. instead i'm the dramatic one and we 'don't have problems' and if we do they're my fault.
I hope you all know: they are being filmed, and paid. This is not a healthy mum daughter relationship. Ya maybe some parts after a couple shots but no, they are not ideal. Just because they are getting along and laughing here… I’m guessing they aren’t driving together on the ride home laughing and smiling
Lol you are incredibly mistaken. I know I don’t need to prove myself to you but I hope you can look past your negative perception on this and feel that the love me and my mum have for each other is incredibly real. We spend quality time together and spend lots of time being in genuine closeness with each other.
Lol, my mom would not budge if it was us. My parents kinda resent each other, I could always tell, but only recently I felt like they resent me, both in different ways, because they see the other one in me. No, ma, I'm not like my father and no, pa, I'm not like my mom either, I just always tried to be the bridge between them by trying to relate to both. But it's alwyas me who's trying and when I fail and close myself it's suddenly my fault for having an attitude or not trying! I'm literally the only one trying! And I'm supposed, or was, supposed to be the kid! Fuck parents who don't want the responsibility of being one.
