Definitely Dukes of Hazard. Timeline lines up. Most of the film was shot in Clinton, Louisiana. It was likely Knoxville who was saying he should shit on the car and then was later saying he did. Jessica Simpson is the one who never warmed up to him. His friend M.C. is actually M.C. Gainey, who played Sheriff Rosco.
@opugilist Aside from being falsely charged for a crime that didn't even happen, not being told what he was being charged with, entering his hotel room without a warrant, and being interrogated while intoxicated...
I worked with this guy in Chicago at a off track betting parlor. He was a bartender and I worked on the computer systems n machines that print the tickets up. Buy far the funniest guy I'd ever met. He did a red skeleton that would bring u to your knees. Dave was a good friend of mine, I miss him.....thanks for the memories dave.
Bill is going to be like the biggest episode ever Oh my god he should go in in something like a nascar uniform decked by all the sponsors and a Super Bowl grade adverts as an intro, please make it happen
Dude, always loved his acting. Why is he funnier and more real as a comedian? And that’s a damning question because he steals every scene he’s been in. Cool cat right here.
His humor never translated for me through the movies I've seen him in, except perhaps 'Waiting', but in THIS stand up story - loved every bit of it! ^_^
Koechner is my homie! (lol) He stayed at my hotel not too long ago. I even got to have a couple conversations with also. He's actually a really nice and respectful person!
...duke of hazards shooting. the female actress is Jessica simpson...and i'm sure the guy who suggests the pooping is johny Knoxville (or s.w. scott). he gave it away by naming mc gainey.
You're telling me this didn't happen? "I'm all about having a good time. You know, get a couple cocktails in me, start a fire in someone's kitchen maybe go to Sea World, take my pants off." -David Koechner
How much leisure time do cops down there have, if they're willing to haul a guy in at 2am and involve multiple cops on a waitress's say-so about a defecation charge with no 'evidence'? I was thinking that eventually they were going to say that someone else had shit on the cop car, and this guy just got blamed for it, but apparently there was no actual shit to speak of. What did they think happened? He shit on the car, then cleaned it up and left?
Exactly what I was thinking. I can't imagine cops in Brooklyn going out of their way to give the remotest of a damn about a rumor of someone having attempted to defile a squad car. Hell, I imagine they're so overwhelmed day in, day out that if someone did shit on their car they would wipe it off, give the perpetrator a good solid whack with a nightstick and drive immediately to the next call.
I live in Idaho where crime is pretty damn rare. About 7 years ago or so in high school one of my friends would steal shit out of unlocked cars in our other friend's neighborhood (it was super nice). One night the two of them got caught and something like 8 or 10 police cars showed up at his house at 1am. Almost a dozen police cars with about twice as many officers all for two high school dumbasses that stole a foam mattress topper out of an SUV. Bored cops are aggressive cops.
They must have pretty crappy detectives down there. You’d think they’d at least have some kind of evidence of the act, instead of rumor from some waitress? And what was that about asking who he voted for? How’s that his business? And you can’t just barge into someone’s hotel without a warrant.
on a completely unrelated subject (true story told by my friend): Some drunk students in my town were in taxi heading back to dorms from some party downtown, and one guy was so drunk that they decided to open the window of the taxi, so if had to vomit, he could to it outwards... But they happily reached the destination without any incident, they got out of the taxi. And then it came, so he (remembering that he has to do it through the window) vomited through the window. Inwards.
and it's funny to think that we all saw Anchorman. Actually, I haven't seen anything with this actor, except for The Office (and OK, apparently according to IMDB he had some minor characters in Pick of Destiny, Snakes on the Plane, and Austin Powers, but that does not count)
CryptedSky yeah, I'm from Sweden so this is crazy to me. We're a democracy in a smaller country. So we don't have this north and south culture to that extent. But we do have racism, so it could occur. But it feels like it would be all over the news if it happened to a swede or an assimilated swedish imigrant.
here's my favorite "cop" story, personally. I was sitting in my car near a train station in the middle of the afternoon and no one was around so I lit a spliff. I should preface this with I was listening to music. Not two puffs later a police officer walks right in front of my car and we make eye contact...he keeps walking, I lock my car doors. I only have one spliff in the car and I had no intention of letting him take it so I commit to smoking the whole thing. He circles back around, looks at my license plate, then knocks on my window. "Can you roll down your window? I'd like to have a word with you." To which I reply, window still up by the way, "No." and I turn my head, face forward and blast the music as loud as I can. The look of pain and rejection on this man's face was worth what happened next. He walked back to his car, pulled up behind me and waited. About twenty minutes later, I had almost forgotten he was there, I get out of the car and he arrests me. I spend the night in jail, got two free meals, and the judge dropped all charges the next day.
You got lucky the judge was overworked that day and didn’t care enough about your lack of cooperation to keep you on the docket. Yeah, I can believe it. I’ve gotten away with worse, although I wasn’t intentionally being a prick
I have a story. I was at a music festival with a college friend. I was always afraid of the police and he kept telling me cops around here are all good. We stopped for a bit and talked to two officers on horses and they were being really nice. They told us their horses names and let us pet them. We decide to go catch the bus and go home. As we were getting close I walked by two cops on horses and I gave them a pat on side saying, "hey horsey." I got about a blaock further and decided to smoke a cigarette. As I look down to light it then look up I'm surrounded by police. They swat everything out of my hands and start throwing me around a bit. I yelled, "hey guys I'm not resisting or anything." I then put my hands behind my back and said, "go ahead and cuff me, but I'm just asking what am I being arrested for." They cuffed me and pushed me in the car responding, "get in the car asshole." My friend said he asked the police what they would do. They said, "We'll just put him in the drunk tank overnight." I went to the local jail and passed out on a bench.. They woke me up at 2am and fingerprinted me took me to court in the middle of the night were they stated my charges including 2 felonies of punching a police horse which took me by surprise. They then took me to county jail where the story could continue but I'm done typing.
quaik8 Benjamin Franklin was a rebel indeed, he liked to get naked while he smoked on the weed. He was a genius, but, if he was here today, the government would fuck him up his righteous AAAAA!!!!!!
im thinking the movie is dukes of hazzard. jessica simpson would be the actress hes talking about. she was in a film called employee of the month later so maybe dane cook called him?
I got a $700 fine for crumbling a burger wrapper and attempting to 'shoot a basket' in the trash can and missed. A cop seen it and wrote me a $700 littering ticket and I had to appear in court.
i got a 700 dollar piss ticket however it was pretty generous of them considering that i had pulled down my pants fully exposing my ass and popping a squat on the pavement of a children’s park in broad daylight while drunk as a minor
here's my story about the law. I got bullied by two cops in the middle of nowehere, totally sober, but they kept asking if I was stoned. I said "NO" but my eyes were bloodshot from driving for 8 or 9 hours straight. They booked me anyway under suspicion, and I spent 8 hours in the "drunk tank" even though I wasn't drunk or high. I saw two drunk ass people come in and leave before I could, but I was dead sober. Not only that, but I had massive diarrhea from the faucet water in there that tasted like a lead pencil. Since their breathalyzer was broken, the judge believed THEIR story and put me on probation for two years. "To serve and protect" my ass!
***** it doesn't work that way stupid, its not always a option, and not only that, what if he drank or smoked weed the day before it would come up showing he had weed or alcohol in his blood, when he wasn't intoxicated
wow you are stupid. it is your RIGHT to be able to deny a breathalizer on scene and request they get a warrant in order to blood test after an arrest is made and you're jailed. and they(meaning a lab that your blood is sent to) can tell if the alcohol is in your system currently or was the previous day or even previous hours before based on concentration in the bloodstream. you go on and get arrested and jailed for not knowing your rights kid, i'm sure it'll serve you well
Got in trouble being drunk and somewhere I shouldn't have been LOL used the Ricky lines from the Trailer Park Boys to get myself out of jail I asked the cop if he knew Jim what you replied yeah I know Jim and with a simple gym story I was able to get a drive home and not get in trouble
Haha cop stories.... I got alot!!! From ALLEGEDLY knocking on a cops window and running away in a high speed chase on a motorcycle. To getting raided and charged with intent to deliver.... 😂
Wes 76 hold em up 😂 you watch comedians and wanna sit here and call me a loser. You know how many of these guys are/were drug addicts, convicts, fuck ups..."Losers" as you say.... Get in where you fit in bitch! Live life a little bit homie😂
Coming back and watching this again years later, never realized how much he looked like he could be Nick Offerman's brother or something. With a beard theyd look almost identical. Its the top half of his face
Ok, so here's my story. I was about 15 or so and I went to a buddy of mine's house to drink a bit. Nothing to ridiculous just a few beers. SO we're drinking, which develops into beer pong, which develops in to me drinking an entire 24 pack by myself. SO we're hanging out, I'm shit faced, and my buddy says "hey, let's go to the school and skate" M being drunk agrees. We get to the school with our boards and we're skating, I eat shit several times. Out of no where we here sirens. I'm like "shit this isn't good guys we gotta dip." We pick our boards up and run as fast as we can. The cop sees us and darts after us like a cheetah on steroids, just hauling it. Now, at our school, there's a tree line separating our school and the elementary school with this giant hill of just dirt and rocks and pine needles. I run way too fast, kick a fucking rocking, it flies out and hits my buddy in the back. So he goes tumbling, I laugh and loose balance and me, him, his girlfriend, and like two more of our friends go tumbling down the hill to nothing but concrete and rocks. I black out as soon as I see the end of the tree line. I wake up like an hour or so later to him dragging me by my feet lol. We finally make it back to the house and we were all freaking out cause I guess I hit my head pretty hard. When we see a car creep up on the house. It's the same cop. I do the right thing by running and hiding praying he doesn't find me lol. My buddy, however, decides to open the fucking door. He proceeds to talk to the cop and I hear laughing and playful name calling. So I walk out, pretending I just came out of the bathroom, and go up to the group and this cop looks at me and just starts dying laughing. I said " what the hell are you laughing at??" Apparently, when I fell, I landed in fresh dog shit. and none of my friends let me know that I smelled like the rear end of a donkey. So we get it cleaned off and I ask the cop "so what did you want from us?" The cop's brother was a the owner of a local skate store and he said he wanted us to be on his team. Never questioned us about the beer pong table, how much we had to drink, nothing. Just wanted to laugh at me and tell me a I'm good at skateboarding.
What a great story. The twist at the end made it so much better. Another prime example of funny stories that you cant write. Funny how non sober paranoia make us do really squirrely shit huh?
The movie was Waiting.. the actress was Anna Faris and is friend MC is Chi McBribe. 6 months later Anna Faris was staring in Scary movie 4. Case Closed!
In 2007, I was at a buddies house just relaxing. He looked at me and said, "hey, man. There's this house right down the street that the people moved out of. They left all their shit for the taking. Lets go get some of it. Ive already been in there a couple times." At first, I didn't want to go in. But, I finally convinced myself and went in. We grabbed some stuff and left. A couple weeks later, I'm in the park talking to this girl, trying to get laid, when the cops show up. They ask me about what happened, to which I say, "the house is vacant." Sure enough, it wasn't vacant. I was arrested and convicted of residential burglary, a class b felony in Indiana.
I think I may have been the inspiration for the 'can't pee in public bathroom Guy'("Calvin/ played by Rob Benedict) character in Waiting..... it's not that I couldn't pee, but I have to take the fifth on why I was waiting for everyone else to leave... LOL. [YOU try working three jobs to get through college, and you'll find out that you do what you got to do.] W-W-WHAAAMMYYYY!!!!!!
