My ten brothers and sisters and I were raised by our mom and our Annapolis grad dad whom we affectionately called The Benevolent Dictator. He carved a paddle from a piece of wood ... at least one inch thick and at least a foot long ... upon which he wrote in his meticulous handwriting, "The Board of Education. " While some lessons really left their mark, in the end, all eleven of us still practice the faith, and two became priests and one became a Carmelite nun. He sadly passed away in 2016, and we placed the paddle on his memorabilia table. I miss him so much, most especially his warm bear hugs. Love you, Dad. May your soul rest in peace.
Father, may everything that I do this day, whether it be full of joy or pain, whether it be full of love or of grief, I ask that everything I go through today be offered to you just like Jesus offered everything to you. It is in his name we pray. Amen. 10/19/2024
Great reading and lesson today! As an assistant principal in a Catholic school, I see the direction of our youth, so discipline that incorporates the virtues and allows them to reflect on the virtues after poor behavior is a blessing for them.
All three of us got swat with hand or whatever was available. Me the youngest seemed to get the brunt of them. It must've done me some good. The oldest ended up having four husbands, being a partier, drugs, sleeping around, one abortion. The middle one teen mother, then later after two children had two abortions while with her second husband. Me two children, married one time for 30 years now. Converted to Catholicism 25 years ago. Thanks be to God for all his blessings on me. I try to stay on right path the best I can.
Unfortunately I wasn’t able to have children but if I had I’d do exactly what my parents did: corporal punishment must be measured to the child and never administered in anger. We all turned out well and don’t consider ourselves to have been abused.
Keep in mind that, whether you agree with something or not, stating “We all turned out well and don’t consider ourselves to have been abused” does not convey anything by itself. I’m not at all questioning your sincerity that you would have wanted what was best for your kids. But if you intend to convince another person it is good, you would need to say something more/different. There are instances where someone can suffer things, which both anti- and pro-corporal punishment people can agree is abusive, yet still come out thinking that their abuser was “loving” and they turned out “fine”… right as they proceed to perpetuate that same treatment onto others. Also as an analogy, some people may grow up to remain healthy despite having smoked some cigarettes, but that doesn’t mean they weren’t putting toxins into their body.
"Never let your kids do things that makes you dislike them". I agree with the clinical psychologist because if we accept all they do without correcting them, they will suffer later on and be very unhappy.
The book is called 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote for Chaos if you ever wanted to check it out from your local library. I think it's rule 5 (and chapter 5) that talks about never letting your children do anything that makes you dislike them.
Oh childhood! The threat of the “belt, fly swatter, hand” (ouch to person rendering the swat!), paddle…..just the threat was enough to get us to listen& shape up. It wasn’t a beating but a tool to get us to understand that our behavior had consequences. I too feel for those whose parents went overboard. Mine didn’t. For the most part just the threat was enough. I tried a lot of things with my daughter but found I had to walk away sometimes to regain control of me before disciplining her. Today there is so much one can take away as a consequence that is just as effective. Years ago we didn’t have as much. Godbless you Fr. Mike. You are such a joy! I love your laugh & sensitivity. To those who have suffered abuse, may God heal your scars with His love & compassion. Amen.
I was spanked and also lucky that my parents did not abuse that method. I feared the belt not my parents. Now, with that said, We have to adjust to the times. It’s critical to discipline. A time out, given properly, is very effective. And when they are older take things away. I love the message that you want to like your kids and you want others to like your kids. Thank you Father Mike.
All my mom had to do was give me that look and I knew I was in trouble and not push it. I have never mastered that look with my children. Lots of time out. Or I would say excuse me and they knew oh oh.
Discipline is absolutely necessary. You can see the difference between a child who has been disciplined and the child who has not. Discipline with love. Amen! ❤❤❤
3 месяца назад
the importance of discipline. help the child be a good human being. there is a difference between discipline and distruction.
My aunt had a giant wooden spoon that hung on the wall. We knew we'd get a swat (a harmless sting) if we pushed too far. She was my favorite aunt and we knew she loved us. I miss you Aunt Emma.
Help us dear Lord when we fail to discipline ourselves in times when we needed it most for our own spiritual growth and of our family. May we come up with all the challenges of this world by giving us self-discipline to rise up in every occasion because without you dear Lord we will fail. Amen. To you dear Lord be the Glory. Thank you Fr Mike and have a pleasant day/evening everyone.
I am grateful growing up with my Mom and Dad disciplined me with a whip (twigs). I will not turn into a Spiritual, independent and strong willed-woman today! God was with me the moment I was conceived ❤
Thank you Fr Mike. It is comforting to know that healing of one’s past can begin at any age. It is a blessing to be part of a community that can understand the hurt and bondage of others. God Bless, for our salvation, Jesus experienced the worst of scourging. 🙏🏾❤️🙏🏾
Thank you so very much Rev Fr Mike. My siblings and I got smacked as well but we will never hold that against our parents. It was discipline, not beating up. After the punishment, they always explained the reason and what they expected. And yes, we acknowledge children and adults being physically abused and harmed by angry, cruel family, parents and loved ones. And we hold them all close in our prayers.
Thank you Father Mike! Your long message about beating made me 😃, going on and on to make sure nobody misunderstood 😅. Always praying for you, everyone in the BIAY community and all priests. Blessings🎉💞
Great explanation on parenting and discipline. I think Jordan Peterson is the psychologist mentioned and his 12 Rules for Life is a great read. However, the Bible and what we are doing here in this community surpass any book. Amen
I am quite sure that all reasonable people understand perfectly what the difference is between disciplining and beating-up. You also are deeply loved for carrying us through the minefield of broken humanity.
Thank you father Mike for talking about the biblical principles for discipline today. It is so important and even though I’m not a parent yet, it will definitely be useful to me one day when I do become a parent. Props to every parent out there. Bringing up children is so difficult. I’m so happy to be listening to your podcast once again today father Mike. It happens to be my birthday.
I grew up in the late 50s and early 60s and spanking was very common back then. Even in the Catholic schools. I never was "beaten" but spanked. It really got my attention when I was being a stubborn brat and needed real discipline. It placed a healthy fear, and respect for my parents and other adults. I feel that it made me a better person.
In my observations, the line between being “spanked” and “beaten” is so nebulous and reliant on subjective interpretation, that declaring the former to be culturally acceptable will inevitably leave the door wide open for the latter to occur. And even if it does not progress to what most would call a “beating”, it would still be an act qualifying as physical/sexual assault if used against any other person in society (including imprisoned criminals). So at best, I still consider such methods to be sending mixed/incoherent messages to children. If you grew up internalizing that adults have the right to aggressively hit you at all, in ways that specifically target your “off-limits” body parts and lack justifications like self-defense, then I have doubts whether your fear of adults was “healthy”. If anything, I am more convinced that what helped you become a better person was the adults in your life taking discipline seriously in general, rather than it necessarily being because they specifically chose corporal punishment as their method.
All of you people watching this please pray for a friend of mine her words exactly “I don't know if non-believer is the right word, I'm not affiliated with any particular religion, I'm probably agnostic right now, I do find value in the psychospiritual, maybe to say I'm questioning is more accurate.”
The best parenting advice I got was on a sign by a small church. It said:,"The best thing you can do for your children is to raise them so other people like them, too." I never forgot that, and that was my approach in the classroom, as well. It worked with my kids and those I taught. Years later, I still get hugs from former students, and my children are loving and loved people.
When I disciplined my son I did as the nursery guided to do. To make him sit on the stairs or go to his room. Or if really bad then you can't go out to play. My brother got the belt. & I got go to your room & no dinner for you tonight. But mum would sneak it up the stairs when dad was watching the news. "Don't tell your dad and just leave the plates under the bed". Sometimes my dads way of telling me off made me go to my room and pack my suitcase and then sneak down the stairs and out the front door to run away. But he would come after me in the car when I had got about three roads away. "Going anywhere nice?" He used to say. "Not going to get very far with no money?" "Where you going to go"? and then after falling along beside me. "Come on get in the car and we will see a movie". or something nice to get me to get in the car. I did that tell I realised there's no point in running away. A VERY LONG TIME AGO !! 🤣
It makes a lot of sense and you are bringing tears to my eyes but you are also reminding me to pray for those you are talking to and talking about. God Bless You Father and God Bless All of them.
Ping pong paddle kept on top of refrigerator was the discipline I used and effectively for my five kiddos. Didn’t get much use but the threat was enough in most cases. Love must rule! God bless us all especially Father Mike! G❤
Yup! I played the bad parent hahaha. Whenever I gave my kids time-out, my hubby would go as well. He was my biggest kid to discipline 😂. But it worked! My children are my Joy❣️ They know the difference about bad behaviors and taking accountability for it versus good character. 😊 Praise be to God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit whom guides us, always. 🙏🏻 ☝🏻 Thank you so much Fr. Mike and Ascension. As always, I am praying for all. God Bless 🙏🏻
I received more than a couple spankings growing up. I was told it wasn't right by others since then. I forgot the pain from the spankings more than other, non physical pain that is much more difficult to forget. And I think in a way that is not easy to explain, the spankings were more about care than about being hurtful on my dad's part.🤷❤
Thanks Fr Mike and the Ascension Team for bringing us day 293. Join with me praying for all as well as praying for the holy souls in Purgatory. Remember you are loved. 10/11/2022
While I never was spanked as a child, I witnessed my brothers getting whacked a few times and I hurt for them to the point that I could never do that to my kids. Unfortunately it made me too soft on them. And now where my brothers have grown to upstanding, righteous men, my children have become adults that I can’t relate to. It grieves me so much that they are the product of my fear or knowledge of how to discipline. I wish I would have been guided by this when I was a young parent.
Never judge a book by it's cover, you've no idea about their hearts, superficial behaviour is misleading. Violence against kids causes severe damage, on a physical, psychological and spiritual level as we - so to speak get our idea about God the Father based on our fathers or father figures, indeed a net force of all those, still the parent is the most influential in shaping our understanding of that aspect of God. It takes a weak man to hit a child, one that cannot lead by example and is incapable of it, one who's authority is based on violence not love - you did the right thing by not abusing them, your faults must lie somewhere else, ask the Holy Spirit for guidance and ask the saints for help, don't believe that lie that has infested you.
My heart goes out to you. I made similar mistakes. I can't go back and repair. I pray for my child:s healing and God's forgiveness. Will pray for us all now.
@@tsr3779 While I am not in any way questioning your sincerity, that you want what is best for our society's youth, I do question your (and Father Mike's) belief that a clear distinction can still be made between abuse and spanking in this day and age. Would you mind me posing a question for you, at some point, just so I can see how you would respond and maybe better understand your perspective? If I do get around to posing my question, it would be very long-winded, so I would only considering sharing it if I have your permission.
Pshaw! That paddle from the paddle ball never did any damage, and Mom had plenty of them because she always bought them for Easter baskets and Christmas stockings for us 3 kids and Dad. I have to say, as much as it stung, I wasn't as sharp as the day that our Aunt accidentally grabbed the wooden spoon with the hole drilled in it, instead of her regular wooden spoon. I don't remember what we did, but I guarantee that 3 or 4 of us never did that again! She felt really bad, but it was a lesson well learned.
One of the hard things is when you grow up without any or little (which is inconsistent) type of discipline and so you don't know how to discipline your own children. Now I'm listening to what I suspected was needed, but had never read the Bible before, so had no clue. I read the wisdom that is in Sirach and Proverbs and that Fr. Mike explains so well and it makes me want to cry because this has become a generational thing now and it's soooo difficult to get out of. I think this is one of the reasons there is so much anxiety today. We have generations of people who have been given no discipline and no direction. As I said, it makes me want to cry.
Bringing children up in this day and age is very difficult. When I was growing up, if I misbehaved in school, I also got punished at home by receiving a spanking. We were taught to respect our elders, teachers, everyone in command and if we didn't we learned the hard way. Thank you Father Mike for choosing your words wisely. I appreciate you.
Beautiful message Father Mike! The clinical psychologist father Mike was referring to is Dr. Jordan B. Peterson and his book 12 rules for life. Everyone should check him out as well :)
Thank you Father Mike for explaining all that on my household was a lot of beating and a lot of abuse and so thank you and pray for me I pray for you thank you Father Mike for explaining so much and to know that that's that there is a difference between discipline and abuse all right good night everybody God
Good morning Fr Mike, pray for me please. I missed judged a couple steps and took a painful fall which left my right leg ankle, shin, and knee in a lot of pain and swelling.
October 26, 2023 Round Two Have you ever considered listening to Saint Faustina’s Diary in a year and/or EWTN Mother Angelica’s Classics to add to your Catholic learning? Oh my goodness so much life guidance in conjunction with Father Mike’s Bible and Catechism in a Year!
O Lord God Heavenly Father please, please, forgive me for the beating I did to my daughter and son. I was too hard on them. I am really sorry for it. 😭💔 I have asked my two children to forgive me for being too strict. Now, when my daughter is to strict with my grandson I tried to correct her and remind / tell her I regret being too strict and she is going to regret it as well....and, it's not a pleasant feeling. Thank you so much Father Mike and Ascension presents. God bless you. 🙏🙏😇👼❤️💙
Fr Mike, my Mom used the same paddle with us (6 children). It hurt but I'm sure it hurt her more. That one small smack got our attention and was a quick reminder that we did something wrong. Happy to say all 6 of us grew up to be responsible adults. God bless Fr Mike.
October 26, 2023 Round Two Will you please take a moment and pray with me? According to tradition, St. Gertrude the Great was told by Our Lord that each time she piously recited the following prayer, it would release 1,000 souls (or a vast number) from their suffering in purgatory: Eternal Father, I offer You the most precious blood of thy Divine Son, Jesus, in union with the Masses said throughout the world today, for all the Holy Souls in Purgatory, for sinners everywhere, for sinners in the universal Church, for those in my own home, and in my family. Amen. In her account of another vision, St. Faustina describes Purgatory as a "great crowd of suffering souls" undergoing purification. Further, she says that the souls are "praying fervently, but to no avail, for themselves; only we can come to their aid" (Diary, 20)
Proverbs 23 The Thirty Wise Sayings -12- 13 - Don't hesitate to discipline children. A good spanking won't kill them. 14 - As a matter of fact, it may save their lives. -13- 15 - My child, if you become wise, I will be very happy. 16 - I will be proud when I hear you speaking words of wisdom. The Good News Bible (TEV). 📖🕯✝
It's so frustrating being a parent at times with our limited patience. Much of the time we feel like we are sowing on rocky ground or the vines and weeds of the world are choking our children. We long to have control over our households but so much is out of our control as parents. Don't provoke children to anger so don't discipline in anger.
Thank you Time out does NOT work for most. Spanking DOES! We have too many WEAK parents! You do not have to draw blood...ugh...it will hurt you to punish them BUT it must be done.
Talking about parental discipline, about 60 years ago when I was in Year 4, I was caught up with a girl who did care about her studies and I began to fall behind in my school work. When the end of year results were out, I failed History and went from a top-Ten student to the last position among a class of 40. I had a good beating (with a thin cane) from my dad. Guess what? The next year my grades jumped up again and I remain one of the top 10 students since. It did not kill me but did me a world of good. Now I’m a retired elderly 😀
So an half chinese girl British won the US open tennis, got totally politicized, I can see myself in that, I got knighted and being attacked. I am British and American Citizenship. Identity Politics target. I just fix my eyes on Jesus and ask Father to forgive them, for they don't know what they r doing. I am always a fan, hopefully bible podcast LL outstats the Harkles gossips. Definitely LL attend ur conference one day, even men conference with my man boy marines kids. Mom always supportive her boys.
My dad never spanked me until he has had enough of my nonsense. And I got my dose of spanking ( what an experience!) It did the trick! Been good since n never got anymore spanking!
Every time I hear someone repeat that rationale, it reminds me an awful lot of when Amber Heard infamously told Johnny Depp in a recording, “I did not punch you. I was hitting you…”, as if one form of aggressive violence is automatically fine as long as it is less severe than another form.
fr Mike please do not pandor to this World satan roams🙏🙏🏻🙏🏼🙏🏽🙏🏾🙏🏿 i realize satan uses our free will Files so I know there is 3 fingers pointing back at me, a trigger pointing to Heaven and the barrel rifled at me when i write this comment 👈🏽 in Christ incarnate in me the worst of sinners. Your free prayer is filled in the Right Spirit. When we pray the podcast with you each day “i” notice my prayers have you answer
